People Break Down What Absolutely Ruins A Good Burger For Them

Most people love a good burger, and many, many American restaurants serve them, but not all burgers are created equal.
Super tall burgers that are hard to eat, way too much sauce (or only a tiny bit of sauce on the middle of the bun), soggy lettuce — there are lots of ways to ruin a burger.
Redditor TheKeyMaster365 asked:
"What Instantly Ruins A Burger For You?"
Bad Tomatoes
"Nothing kills a burger faster than a bad tomato"
- EccentricEngineer
"Tomato can be okay if you're eating it right now but tomato on it togo burger or sandwich almost always makes the bread soggy."
- sploittastic
"I don't object to the taste of tomato in a burger, but I despise the actual tomatoes themselves. They're too slippery, so they always end up squeezing out and, somehow, falling on anything except the plate."
- AmazingSpacePelican
"When the tomato has that hard area in the middle (the core I guess?). Gross."
- breadfan1988
Lack of Structural Integrity
"Poor construction. When it flies out the other end. Stick everything together with a blob of sauce."
- IAmStevie420
"Too much sauce can make the bun disintegrate and it becomes a soggy mess."
- caligaris_cabinet
"You’ve identified an important problem but I’m not sure about the effectiveness of the proposed solution"
- aspannerdarkly
Too Much Sauce
"I do enjoy sauces on a burger, but to a point. If I end up having to hold a soggy mess, I'm not going to enjoy the burger nearly as much."
"Also tall burgers. The two also go together to make an awful burger experience"
- krispyboiz
"If I have to wipe/clean my hands after every bite, it is an unpleasant experience."
- meatpipeline
"I hate it when the first bite launches a glob of sauce out the other end."
- Mataraiki
"I feel the same way and thought I was in the minority. If I pick up a burger, take a bite, and immediately need 4-5 napkins, it's not worth it."
- CrochetyNurse
Old Lettuce
"Watery old lettuce. One time I got a burger with terrible lettuce.. it tasted like it came straight out of a lake.. from then I avoid that place saying 'they have lake lettuce.'"
- heckpants
"Limp, watery, garbage lettuce ruins so many things. If you can't get quality lettuce, please leave it off! Restaurants sneak it on without putting it on the menu and you can't just take it off because the wateriness has already soaked into everything else."
- fraud_imposter
Hard-boiled Egg
"I once ordered a breakfast burger that was advertised as having, among other toppings, 'egg.' I imagine a nice fried egg or at least a scrambled egg patty of sorts. No, the monstrosity that came out had a quartered, hard-boiled egg on it. Just terrible - what self-respecting chef would serve that?"
- jokinglyserious1
"Filing this under 'things that feel illegal'"
- theonelittledid
"As someone in the industry, a breakfast lover, and a burger lover, this is honestly one of the most offensive things I've seen on reddit."
- Starscream5
Runaway Patty
"When the patty slips out the other side."
- F35LTNG
"This is a corollary to the massive height complaint. Make a burger wide, not tall, and it won't slip out."
- soulcaptain
"PSA: The toothpick on top of your burger is not for decoration, but they are a functional tool to prevent the contents to fall out."
- moxedana02
Humans Can't Unhinge Their Jaws
"Being too big to fit in your mouth. Pointless. Might as well just throw it all on a plate, and call it 'deconstructed burger'"
- gallows4p0werm0ds
"Yeah, make burgers wider not taller."
- PPLifter
"If I gotta unhinge my jaw like a snake to eat something, I'm not ordering it. It's incredibly annoying and a lot of work. A burger should be a hand held food. If I need a knife and fork, what's the point?"
- megaloduh
"I’ve had a few burgers in my time where I have actually just taken it apart and put it on my plate to slowly eat. It is frustrating."
- TL3490
Soggy Buns
"Wet untoasted bun"
- Ruminations0
"Nothing worse than taking a bite of a soggy bun. Also the reason why I don’t like tomatoes in my burger"
- Pelagius_Hipbone
"Looking at you, Five Guys. $20 burger and it's not even toasted. They tell me it is, but why is it a soggy mess only a couple minutes after it was made?"
"Untoasted bread is acceptable, just a matter of choice. Now, a burger where bread is all soggy because there's tomato or wet lettuce touching it is almost a negligence by the person who made it."
- HYPERNOVA3_
Too Much Conversation
"People that want to talk while I'm eating a burger."
- BlowFrog303
"And then gets mad when you don't respond... Like can't you see I'm chewing?!.."
- IdkTheMeaningOfLife
"I have a mate who, whenever we go for a burger, all of a sudden feels the need to start asking me all these questions about my personal life as soon as I start eating:"
"'What your dad up to at the moment?'"
"'Have you been to your brother's house lately?'"
"'What sort of stuff has your mum been doing since she retired?'"
"'Is your brother still in touch with his ex?'"
"I'm one of those people who sort of gets into a zone while eating so firing a load of questions at me very much kills the 'vibe' I'm on!"
- thisishardcore_
My Wallet Hurts
"When they cost $20+"
- cuttingwoodisfun
"Yeah, I’m fine paying $20 if it’s something good. Bison burger for $18? F*ck yeah! Even just something like local grass fed beef. F*ck yeah!"
- UnbrandedContent
"I went to a burger place by me once, got a burger, loaded fries, and one beer. It wasn’t a sit down place, you order at the counter like it’s fast food but they give you a number to take and they bring your food to the table."
"It was $40. There’s a reason I only went once, and the burger was good but not $40 good."
- Old-Sor
"That does certainly make a burger, no matter how delicious, unappetizing 😵💫"
- TheKeyMaster365
Burgers Are Supposed To Be Boneless
"Bits of bone! I regularly bite down on these at Camino. I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt and tried again multiple times but I haven’t been back in a while because of it."
"This a the real answer. A chunk of bone will ruin your trust in burgers for a very long time."
- HubertFiorentini
"Wow! This brought back some repressed trauma. I bit into a burger over 20 years ago, and it had a bone chip in it. Biting into that (not expecting it) caused my tooth to crack. That tooth later became impacted and lead to the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. That was the worst burger by a long shot."
- rejectedstone
Why Is There So Much Bread?
"A dry bun or too much bun."
- mazlux
"100% … Bun to meat to topping ratio is paramount."
- djdaddyb
"Brioche. Brioche is a terrible choice for a burger bun and I don't understand why everyone is using it these days. Brioche is basically bread make with low-protein flour and lots of eggs."
"Also known as: CAKE, just drier and without any of the chew and texture of a properly made bread roll. Brioche sucks ass and that trend needs to die."
- RockleyBob
Cheese Should Be Melty
"Unmelted cheese - imagine taking your first bite and everything is warm and fresh, then your teeth hit a f*cking ice block."
- miraclechu
"this is why I dislike cheeseburgers. I avoid cheese on mine. and people think I’m f*cking weird."
- Synner40
Unwanted Toppings
"Pickles when I asked for no pickles."
- FrumundaMabawls
"And you can’t just pick em off. The whole fu*kin burger is contaminated if a pickle touches it."
- pyroboy101
"Same thing with mustard. No ... you can't just scrape it off."
- Beard_o_Bees
Making a good burger doesn't seem like it would be very hard, but there's a lot of ways things can go very wrong.
Now it's your turn. What absolutely ruins a burger for you? Let us know in the comments below.
Every town has a secret.
Secrets, lies, and darkness run rampant everywhere... if you look closely enough.
The only thing worse than the secret is the cover-up.
The way people scramble to hide facts and keep truths hidden is masterful and scary.
Redditor j_breezy_ wanted to discuss what sinister tales cities and towns have to tell, so they asked:
"What’s your small town trying to cover up?"
Secrets, secrets, secrets... all towns have them.
All people have them.
The Land
"There's a lively discussion about whether or not to repurpose land from an abandoned cemetery by exhuming those interred there and reburying them elsewhere. A commercial developer wants to build condos on land currently occupied by the cemetery."
Back2Bach
Do It Right The First Time...
"The city attempted to seize land to lay piping down without paying for it or permission, force homeowners to maintain it, and then force the homeowners to pay for the work and a large hook-up fee. It caused a huge ruckus, and the city was forced to go through the proper procedures to buy the land, lay the pipes, and fix and pay for any damages caused by the pipe laying."
"You see most folks in that area of town had septic tanks. The city wanted to charge more people for utilities so basically went around the voters to force the pipes through, claiming the people on the back of the properties wanted to be connected to the city. This wasn’t true and they faced a few dozen lawsuits because they fraudulently condemned septic tanks to force people onto the city line."
"My family ended up helping force the city to negotiate and do things properly. The stupid part of all of this, if they had just done it right the first time, they would have saved millions in labor, experts, and lawsuits and next to nobody would have cared."
Rachel1578
'Red Flagged'
"Not trying to necessarily 'cover it up' but the fire department doesn’t have an engine and the township board has not approved any of the ones that have been submitted to get a 'new' engine (not brand new cause those are expensive but ones that are useable). The board also thinks that the department doesn’t need to have safe gear."
"They’ve also said that the trucks do not need repairs and this has been going on for awhile, which has cause the issue of the engine being 'red flagged' (meaning it had to be taken out of commission). My father in law is the fire chief and my other half is on the department."
Next-Rutabaga-5060
The Mystery
"That the water in an area is clearly causing 'mysterious brain disease' where people just like... suddenly can't walk. I put 'mysterious brain disease' in quotes because a google search will tell you it's cyanobacteria, and the area has a giant plant that is clearly dumping stuff in the water to cause these issues."
"But the entire province's government just shrugged their shoulders and said 'wow that's weird, too bad all the cases have nothing in common!' (They all are from this one area of the world reporting this) and moved on with our lives. Here's the WIKI PAGE because it's big enough news that it gets it's own wiki page I guess: Mysterious Brain Disease"
River_tamm
Wasted
"Radioactive waste. Port Hope, Ontario. Cameco AKA Eldorado Nuclear (The people who processed the uranium used for the nuclear bombs in WW2) used to bury the waste all over town or send it straight into lake Ontario. Years/billions of dollars later and the problem still isn't solved."
Ro7ard
How many towns are toxic wastelands? It's a disgrace.
Marshed
"I’ve got a few…"
"The Quakers leased a large piece of land to glass makers for centuries. The land is basically in a marsh. As the Industrial Revolution took off, the manufacturing methods caused significant pollution. The large corporations that manufactured there never really updated the methods to comply with EPA."
"The site has been seeping chemicals into the watershed for a very long time. Just up the river is one of the first chemical production sites for DuPont. They dumped directly into the river. The old guys in the area talk about trucking thousands of barrels out of the site and dumping them into lakes, gravel pits, and quarries."
Jamescovey
Eminent Domain...
"Not a small town by any stretch of the imagination, but I live in a poor midsized city bordering a larger city, which has the full spectrum. They keep building stadiums, amusement parks, etc here. The city pulls eminent domain on several square blocks, runs everyone who lives there out, and gives the land to a developer for almost nothing."
"Then they waive all property and sales tax for several decades, longer than the facility will be in use. Almost nobody here votes, the few that do are unaware of the tax waivers, so it keeps going on despite the fact that there's literally no benefit to the city or the city government."
"We have higher taxes than our neighbor, but no public transit, way worse roads, and regular problems with power and water. But the city council and mayor are rich as f**k. I'm sure that's got nothing to do with it."
PM_ME_YOUR_FERNET
True Crime
"This is a sad one to me. There was an older couple here who ran a halfway house for troubled kids who’d recently gotten out of juvie, they fostered a few as well. They were loved in the community, wonderful people."
"One of them had an older brother who was a gangbanger in the nearest big city. During a visit, he snuck his 15 year old younger bro a handgun. Younger bro ended up holding up a local gas station and killed three people."
"One of them was my friend’s cousin."
"The foster parents lost whatever credentials they needed to do what they did, the kids went back into the system, and the giant house has been abandoned since around 2009."
KimBass2
A Dead End
"The fact that it's slowly dying, and has been for the last 10+ years. No amount of downtown renovation on the mom and pop craft shops or new fast food and cheap retail stores can change the fact that all the big industrial companies left town and there has been no attempt to replace them and no job opportunities other than... the fast food, cheap retail stores and mom and pop craft shops."
"This town (the whole county, really) is a dead end. Also, the tap water has WAY too much chlorine and other garbage in it and 9 times out of 10 your laundry will end up getting bleach stains. That's been a complaint for 20 years or more."
ZormkidFrobozz
Good Lord
"About 10 years ago a lot of homeless people disappeared and when the police did the investigation they found out a guy was kidnapping and eating those people. Police found his hideout and found a half eaten body and bones from another person. People don't like to talk about it but everyone knows what happened."
Deb_Mack
Some places have just too many secrets.
Do you have any some town secrets to share? Let us know in the comments below.
What people deem appropriate to say in public these days can be shocking.
I know that we all have to vent and share, but you may want to reign in a few thoughts before speaking.
I'm not entirely sure that confessing to crimes and plotting deaths is basic chit chat.
But what do I know?
Everyone is loose with their thoughts today, others be damned.
But don't be shocked if someone calls the police just from chatter over an espresso.
Redditor Phantom_Balls wanted to hear about all the horrible things they've been told in conversation, so they asked:
"What’s the most disturbing thing someone has told you casually?"
Disturbing conversation is just part of dating.
That's why I'm single.
The Criminal
"Dude who ran the local pizza shop had a few drinks one night and mentioned that the reason they immigrated to the US was that his dad, an older dude who was always sitting in the corner of the restaurant reading, had strangled a dude to death in a bar fight and they had to GTFO of their home country to avoid prosecution/retribution."
mejok
No Chance
"16 year old kid on meth at a youth homeless shelter I was at talked about how his dad beat his mom to death. He spoke like he was talking about any other old thing. I’ve not felt so bad for someone before then. He was given no chance at life and he was just a kid."
skippymcflippy2
The Weather
"I am a hairdresser so I hear lots of crazy sh*t but the one that sticks out to me is from a woman, I had been doing her hair for years and who was in her 70s. I hadn’t seen her in a few months which I found weird since she came in weekly but then she shows up one day with long wild hair. I told her I had missed her and it was great to see her again."
"She looks me straight in the face and casually says 'Oh my son drown at the beach a few months ago when we were on vacation and then I had a mental breakdown so they sent me to a mental institute for a while.'"
"Then she just started talking about the the weather like it was the most normal thing ever to say. I also still did her hair for a few years after that until she passed away and she never said anything about that again or acted off. Just so disturbing but I guess losing a child can make you a bit crazy."
Poctah
Cadavers
"My parents divorced when I was a toddler. Afterwards, my mother had a string of boyfriends. Most of them were decent guys, but the last guy she dated before she walked out of my life entirely was clearly a psychopath. He was a Vietnam vet, an army medic. He would tell us how he and his fellow students in med school would get drunk then sneak into where they kept the cadavers after hours and do things with them, like electro shock them, put on music and dance with them, etc."
"He was cracking up laughing reminiscing about it. Keep in mind, too, that he told me this the first time I met him. I was 10. He mentioned this while we having dinner together one night."
TheBoomExpress
The Family
"I knew a woman in college who’s brother was murdered (he was having an affair with a married woman), then her parents were driving to the town where the funeral was to be held and they were killed in a car accident. The woman lost an entire family in a matter of days in two separate incidents."
wyoflyboy68
"I had dinner last night with my bf’s friend and his gf. His gf is super sweet and we bonded over a lot of similarities. She casually dropped last night that her mom died 6 years ago, her dad died 360 days after that, and her brother died shortly after. I had NO idea how to respond."
isweedglutenfree
Losing everyone can drive anyone off the rails.
The Rabbit
"A friend of mine was pet-sitting my rabbit (she had foster rabbits and two guinea pigs of her own). When I went to pick up my rabbit, I noticed one of the guinea pigs was missing. When I asked where he was, she casually proceeded to tell me that he was sick, but she didn't really feel like taking him to the vet, so she put him in her freezer and left him there to die. She said she knew he was dead when he stopped running around and making noise in there. Suffice to say, she never watched my rabbit again."
L00kAlive25
The 12th Hole
"Playing golf (it was a golf outing) with one of my younger commercial lenders (I was regional president at the time) when he admitted to fabricating financial statements to get loans approved. He did this while we were walking to the green on the 12th hole. As we continued to play golf I explained to him that he will be terminated and will likely go to jail. His network credentials and building access was cut before we finished golf. I terminated him in the parking lot. He eventually went to jail."
-Economist-
These are some harrowing things to overhear! We might need some secondhand therapy.
Have you ever overheard something truly unbelievable? Let us know in the comments below.
There are certain life events that are painfully embarrassing to most people, they might never recover from them.
Although plenty of scenarios can make a person want to crawl into a hole never to see the light of day again, the most mortifying experiences typically involve those of a NSFW nature.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor stgunknonw asked:
"What's the most embarrassing NSFW thing that's ever happened to you in public?"
The classic wardrobe malfunction is always embarrassing.
Crowd Surf Fail
"I was at a gig. The band playing was called Decapitated. One guy I met that night decided to crowd surf me. It went wrong. I began to fall. My glasses flew off into the abyss. He grabbed my t-shirt and it tore in 2. Then people tried to catch me by grabbing my jeans. Then fell down along with my underwear to my ankles. I was on the floor. Blind and naked."
– T_raltixx
Airborne Judo Pants
"When I was six years old I was super, super, super skinny. My parents enrolled me in a judo class and after about a month or so of practice, the parents were all invited to a judo competition. Before things started, one of the instructors was demonstrating a basic flipping someone over the back technique. I was chosen to be the one flipped by the instructor. When the instructor demonstrated the flip, my judo pants went flying off into the spectators leaving me laying on the mat in just my tightly whities."
– wyoflyboy68
The Midnight Show
"I was performing in a play, and had a very quick costume change off stage and had like....90 seconds to change these victorian-style dresses."
"So my bestie was also in the show, and he was offstage, waiting with the costume so I could get into the new dress, get it zipped up, and we walk out together."
"This dress was an open and low neckline, and I could not wear a bra with it...so I was basically nude while changing backstage. That part wasn't too bad, and he was the only one who got the full shot he was gay and we'd known each other 20 years, so it was all good in that aspect. The main takeaway with this: NO BRA!"
"However... he had forgotten to completely hook the sides that required being sinched up."
"So we go onstage....do the dinner scene.....everything great."
"The dinner scene ends up turning into a chase scene with all characters at the table running around chasing each other. I slip in front of the table, hitting the stage and sliding on my stomach, facing the audience...."
"And my boobs had both fallen right out."
"In front of the audience."
"It was easier NOT to see my boobs - they came right the hell out - I'm splayed out and before I realize what's happened...I stand up and see 'Oh hey....there's my boobs on the wrong side of my costume."
"My bestie comes over and covers me and we get me fixed fairly quickly, (The fall, my boob show, and the fix probably happened within 20 seconds total - it just felt like hours.)"
"He turns to the audience and says 'Folks, you definitely got your money's worth tonight.'"
– TheseCryptographer95
Free-Ballin'
"Wore a costume to a huge Halloween party one year that included an ill-fitting G-string. At some point, my family jewels slipped out of the pouch, and I was too intoxicated to notice. Spent a good portion of the party walking around cluelessly exposed before someone eventually told me."
– xxplodingboy
These former patients had it rough.
Clueless Orthopedist
"Orthopedist walks into the operating room and takes a look at the screen which shows the patient’s right leg with multiple fractures. Seconds later he says out loud: 'How the f'k are we going to fix that?'”
"Everyone in the room falls silent and turns their gaze to the orthopedist and the anesthetiser whispers: 'He’s in spinal anaesthesia…'”
"The orthopaedists eyes widen for a moment, he clears his throat and says loudly: 'We’ll make a leg out of this yet. Scalpel #10 please.'”
– Kyoshiro80
Painful Flight
"I had plastic surgery for cancer on my face. What I didn't know is they pump you full of gas and that the anaesthetic also hits your system pretty hard. I had to fly home bandaged like the Mummy but the bad part was once the plane was pressurized, I had uncontrollable gas and pain in my face. For 4 hours. I couldn't laugh because it hurt, couldn't cry - same reason. So I wedged myself into the toilet after apologizing to the crew and they kept slipping me ginger ale and holding my hand because it hurt so bad. I sent a letter to the airline with all of their names and told the COB they deserved raises. I hope that the smell wasn't so bad that it was killing people near the toilet."
– EmmelineTx
Sometimes it's hard to keep track of all your computer activity. Perhaps these incidents will prevent embarrassment in the future.
Mind They Google Search
"I saw a bad a** documentary on bears. There was a segment about this black bear that had mange and they were trying to save it. They shaved all its fur off and it looked f'king insane. Looked like a monster tbh. Anyways flash forward to thanksgiving my whole family is sitting around a new projector that we hooked up in the living room sharing funny videos and pictures and having a good ol ha ha time."
"My grandma/grandpa, mom, dad, sisters uncles, everyone is present. I’m like 'hey I got a good one I think you guys will think is interesting!' So on the F'king projector in front of my whole family I type 'Naked Shaved Bears' into the Google search, on an 88’ projector. F'king god that day haunts me every time I close my eyes at night."
– FireFromThaumaturgy
Current Activity
"Clicked on a link on a school computer in a full classroom. It lead to a website that played 'IM WATCHING GAY PORN' Full blast out of the speakers with a very NSFW gif, the website was also unclosable."
– prawduhgee
Onboard Entertainment
"When I was 13, I opened my laptop on a Caltrain and other people were around me and my family. As soon as I opened it, the screensaver was an nsfw, pretty tame nsfw pic that I set as a screensaver. I immediatey shut it closed and turned around to see if anyone saw it. An old lady had a mortified look on her face but I turned back around fast. F'k. Repressed memories... thanks a lot OP!!"
– cuntofredemption
What The Customers Saw Inside The Store
"10 years ago I accompanied a friend to a crowded Boots store so he could have a photo of his pet dog printed on to canvas. He had to upload the photo via usb on the store computer… which was surrounded by families. He happily put the usb in… blissfully unaware that instead of being greeted by a picture of his lovable mutt on the oversized monitor, we (and the many people around us) would be greeted by multiple peen pics that he’d neglected to delete. God knows… but I couldn’t question him instantly seeing as by the time I’d digested what I’d seen; he’d already pulled the USB and ran from the store at full sprint leaving me with the hordes of stunned grandmothers, disgusted parents, and upset children."
– BarraDoner
Sound Of Pleasure
"Opened up my laptop in the school library to do some homework, turns out I had not closed the porn that I was watching the night before, didnt have headphones in."
– Lau_wings
A "friend" I was roommates with answered the door for the UPS guy to deliver a package.
Little did my friend know he was also delivering the goods but with a peep show.
The opening in his worn-out boxers he happened to be wearing had a tendency of not closing all the way and revealing his member getting some fresh air.
It's no wonder the UPS guy was scrunching his face bizarrely while waiting for a signature. He was trying his darnedest not to laugh out of embarrassment for him. Or maybe he liked what he saw.
Who know? Some surprises do come in small packages.
When we're kids, we're taught by our parents, teachers, and other adults that what we're being taught is a skill that will stick with us forever, so we'd better master it and do so quickly.
But as any '90s kid will tell you, some things like balancing checkbooks and researching out of an encyclopedia really do become obsolete skills over time.
Redditor hollowreader asked:
"Millennials, what skill did you acquire in the 90s that you no longer use?"
Balancing a Checkbook
"I was taught how to balance a checkbook. I remember learning how to do it and thinking there must be a better way."
- no_onion_no_cry
Navigating the Dewey Decimal System
"I was in a new library recently. This is when I found out that not every library still uses Dewey decimal. They were using the library of the Congreve system. Totally different."
- bobjkelly
The Ones Who Get It, Get It
"Be kind. Rewind."
- spaghettibeans
Computer Knowledge Taking Up Memory
"I'm late Gen-X but I have a LOT of computer knowledge that is absolutely obsolete. BIOS and DOS interrupts, actually having to limit memory usage, storing booleans in actual bits rather than a whole byte, Mode 0x13 graphics, ANSI escape codes, all kinds of junk."
- faceeatingleopard
Making Friends
"I mean, really, when do you get the opportunity? I'm at home, or I'm at work. When I'm at work, I'm working from home, and when I'm at home, I'm at home. There's nowhere to go to have a chance to make friends."
I'm not religious, so I don't have a church as a third place. I don't really drink, so that rules out the bar like my grandad might have done. I'm third shift, so even most evening classes or clubs I might want to participate in are ruled out."
"I don't really consider myself an introvert, but the fact is there's just no chance to meet people to make friends anymore."
- BasiliskXVIII
Knowing VHS Tapes Inside and Out
"No joke, I used to be able to tell the grade and wear of VHS tape by smell. I was part of an anime club that had a lot of tapes being traded back and forth, and I developed it simply from observation."
"I now describe this as The World's Most Useless Superpower."
- worldofcrap80
Communicating via Fax
"Knowing how to send a fax. I have not needed to do so in forever."
- i-need-blinker-fluid
Using a Typewriter
"I learned how to type on a typewriter in '94, and before the typewriter, my grandma had me practice typing exercises on a cardboard box with a QWERTY keyboard layout printed on top. I had to be able to 'type' without looking before I could get the actual typewriter."
"I can type ~130wpm (words per minute) with near total accuracy to this day though, so it did end up being a skill I put to use."
- b***h-cassidy
Sudden Career Change
"I started training to be a travel agent. That career disappeared in about three years."
- jackatman
Living Those Commercial Minutes to the Fullest
"Going to the loo and grabbing a bite to eat in the time that an advert lasts and making it back to my seat just before it starts."
- can_we_just
"Related, the skill required to vault over the furniture with your plate of nachos as your sibling yells, 'IT’S BACK OOOON!'"
- latenightneophyte
Reciting Favorite Episodes
"I watched an hour of 'The Simpsons' almost every day since it played twice on my local channel."
"We had so much less access to media than kids do now. No kid will EVER know the lines to 'Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls' as well as I did."
- ghloperr
Navigating Paper Maps
"Planning routes using a map. I used to buy an Atlas before a road trip and plan out the routes to take, highlighting them as I went. Now I just say, 'Hey Google, take me to ____,' and off we go."
- isisis
Gathering Those Top-40 Songs
"Recording songs from the radio, but no matter how careful you were, a third of the songs had the DJ talking over the intro dedicating the song to someone or repeating some random caller’s apology to his beloved HS girlfriend."
"The 1982 KFOX top 40, 'Here’s to you, Jessica,' overlay by the DJ will always be associated with that particular song even more strongly than the most powerful commercial jingles."
- Batherick
Using Encyclopedias for Research
"I had a massive history paper to write and I needed the internet and/or library to research. We had dial-up and anyone alive then knows how much it sucked and was more frustrating than helpful."
"Dad wasn’t home and my stepmom didn’t feel like taking me to the library for reasons I’m sure are still worthless, so she told me to use the encyclopedia set we had at home."
"The problem was they were published in 1959. I told her they were useless, but she insisted that 'history doesn’t change.'"
"So I asked her to look up the moon landing."
"I was grounded for two weeks and still didn’t get to go to the library."
- pourthebubbly
An Abundance of Worthless Knowledge
"I am fully capable of writing in cursive, using a card catalog, driving a manual shift car, starting a two-stroke motor, modifying an autoexec.bat file, reading a paper map and navigating with a compass, navigating with a VOR, among others and I haven't done any of those things for a very long time."
- Leucippus1
Not only did this thread bring back so many memories from childhood, but it felt bittersweet to think about all the things we learned that we can't really use anymore.
Fortunately, some of these skills might still randomly come up, like using a physical map when in an area with no reception.