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Living in a big city, I often hear all sorts of conversations––often the kind that would make more conservative personalities blush. Some years back for instance, I was on the subway with a friend and overheard a little old lady tell her equally little old lady friend that "the orgy last night was amazing." All I can say to that? Get it, granny. You are an icon. (And yes, I noticed how much the woman sitting next to you blushed.)

I'm not the only one with stories, though––and neither are you! Thank Redditor volvoxsquabble, who asked the online community,

"What is the weirdest thing you have ever heard in a public place?"

"We were at the library..."

"We were at the library for some writing when a guy on the phone at a nearby table suddenly said, "Yeah baby, I still love Sharknado."

He said it so sincerely like he was trying to diffuse a possible fight."


Who knew Sharknado could serve as a test of a stable relationship? I'll have to keep this one in my back pocket.

"I was drinking..."

"I was drinking in a pizza/sports bar. One table over a drunk guy is talking loudly about how he "accidentally" (drunk) screwed a guy that looked like a girl. The whole bar can hear this. About 20 mins pass and his waitress makes a joke about switching tables so her guy co-worker can serve him. He instantly got pissed off and accused his friend of telling the waitress his story and tried to fight him."


Sir, this is a Wendy's.


"Dropping a coffee off to my girlfriend at work.

Guy out front of the studio is on the phone and the brief bit I caught was "I didn't mean to have sex with THAT sister."


How does this even happen?

Was this just a lame excuse?

Or were they evil twins?

"Man and woman..."

"Man and woman examining a parcel they'd just picked up from the post office.

Woman: (examining label) "Ukraine? What have you been ordering now?" Man: "Oh, that'll be the gas masks."


Gotcha. Next time I need strange and mildly disconcerting items shipped to me, I'll be sure to order them from Ukraine.

"There were two women..."

"There were two women in front of me at the queue in the bank and I could overhear them talking when one of them said, 'I can't wait to f*** my boyfriend later to which the other replied, 'Normally or with your strapon?' My life has never been the same."


"After a long pause..."

"I was walking behind a pair of teenagers once. One asked the other, "Do you know what Chlamydia is?" After a long pause the other replied, "...yeah it's that board game innit."

I still laugh thinking about it."


I laughed way too hard at this. Sounds like something one of my funniest classmates would have said growing up.

"In college..."

"In college, I was taking a psychology class. The professor was asking students about what makes them upset. One girl raised her hand quickly, and went on a rant about the "Good for nothing, useless POS that got her pregnant." She ranted for 5 minutes about how he doesn't pay child support, never wants to see his daughter, but keeps trying to get back in her pants even though she knows he's already gotten at least two other girls pregnant.

The professor, an older woman, was a little taken aback and tried to give her advice, saying that group therapy between them would be beneficial, and that while a romantic relationship was probably not a good idea, a good civil relationship as parents was necessary, and that he should understand that as a parent he has both emotional and financial obligations to his daughter. Then she said "Do you think that is something he would be open to?" to which the girl replied "I don't know, why don't you ask him, he's sitting right over there." Poor kid was in the class lol."


"To this day..."

"The guy behind me loudly proclaimed he had to take a "gnarly piss". To this day I don't know what quantifies a piss as gnarly but hey."


There is indeed a scale.

As a guy, I get it. I don't need an explanation.

"The bus driver..."

"The bus driver told his wife that he did not know how to justify himself to his daughter for accidentally feeding the fish with rat poison."


Well, what are you waiting for? Go out there and eavesdrop! Report back! We must know what ridiculous things members of the public are saying so we can fuel another article!

Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about it in the comments below!

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

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