I can't wait to get married; mostly because I love a good party. I also the love the festivities and joy, the open bar and the high drama.
Oh my the things I have seen at a wedding. I can't tell you how many times a friend and I have said... "I thought crap like this only happened in the movies?"
There really are some couples who you know are going to last forever and a day.
And then there are those unions when you are even more sure, are going to be a disaster from start to finish. I'd say it's all a 70/30 split... in the disaster direction.
Cheers to love. And let's get smarter about I do's people.
Redditoru/Olya_roowanted to hear all the deets about the times many of us have attended weddings when we knew the pair saying "I Do" wasn't meant for forever, by asking:
What wedding moment made you think: "They are not going to last long"?
I once attended a friend's wedding, that was held in a pool hall. The maid of honor wore a dress that advertised Tommy Hilfiger. And the priest was drunk, as was the uncle who's "eloquent" speech went as such:
"So and So and so and so. Good luck. You're idiots. I give it less than a year!"
Packed UpTasmanian Devil Love GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
"He ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception."
"He went out out the night night before with his sister and friends and got plastered. They had to hold a cold pack to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos. Marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes."
"I'M WITNESSING ONE FROM THE SIDELINES NOW!!!"
"My wife's brother just got married this past May. Bride's mother is a big DIY person and went a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc… Note I said extra, it was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff."
"Anyway, a few weeks ago she sends my MIL (grooms mom) and email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought ($7,000 worth!!! ) and asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy. It's causing a huge rift between the newlyweds since the bride is taking her moms side."
All the Drama...
"My wife got invited to a client's daughter's wedding. The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal party were drama students. The maid-of-honour's toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of 'if it couldn't be me, I'm glad it's my best friend that's marrying you'. The best-man's speech was a lusty declaration of "if it doesn't work out, call me, babe... like the previous time you called me."
"Other toasts were similarly weird. A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was 'this close' to standing up during the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' thing. I'm still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally messed-up 20-year-olds, or one big piece of performance art."
"I was maid of honour. Me, best man and the couple went into a separate little room to do the signing stuff. Bride excused herself to go the bathroom and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (which she's passionate about) to the officiant."
"She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her. He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic. That always stuck with me. He wasn't laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back. They lasted 7 months."
But Before...GIF by AminéGiphy
"Wedding videographer here, I think my favorite moment was when I was sitting at the miscellaneous table with all the randoms and the girl next to me, the grooms ex, drunkenly admitted to sleeping with the groom a few months prior."
The joke was on the uncle. They lasted twenty years. They have four kids they can't afford, and are now remarried to people with police records. So what if they publicly share on Facebook their mutual hatred and and their regret of every wasted second of twenty years. They still lasted for a bit.
Hello?adele hello GIFGiphy
"I was at a wedding when a phone went off during the ceremony. In the middle of exchanging vows. It was the groom's. He took the call. They are divorced now. I believe it was a cousin calling, to ask if they were late for the wedding."
People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"I was at a wedding. I was a plus one for my date. The bride sat down drunk at our table and started talking to us. She then told me that she slept with her ex right before walking down the aisle. She screwed her ex in her wedding dress in the bridal suite. She then downed the last of my drink and went off to the dance floor. I was left speechless. I didn't know anyone but my date. Less than a year later the bride and groom were divorced."
"what did I do?"
"One of my friends got married, afterwards she looked at me, crying, and said "what did I do?" They were separated by the time the plane landed from their honeymoon. He was a good guy, she was a mess. The beta fish in the flower centerpieces lasted longer than the marriage."
"The bachelor party and the Bachelorette party were in Vegas at the same time. Across the hall from each other. The bride and groom got in a huge fight on the last night of the trip and when I was leaving I said "I'll see you guys at the wedding" to the groom and he replied "I'm not sure there's gonna be one." There was a wedding, but they were divorced within 18 months I believe."
Slow Dancedirty dancing love GIF by Lionsgate Home EntertainmentGiphy
"A fun light-hearted dance with the groom followed by a close and slow dance with her male best friend."
"As a wedding photographer I have been to more than my share of weddings.
- It was a REAL shotgun wedding. Dad didn't realize it would not stand up in court. Only time the groom was more excited to have photos than the bride.
- She wanted a limo, he thought a hearse would be better and kept doing Lurch impressions. From the Addams family.
- Don't know what happened... Sat down with bride and groom, filling out the contract. Got the deposit. He stood up, said forget it, and walked out. 2 months later I get told the wedding is off, 3 months later she calls to rebook, different groom. Day of the wedding I am at the church... Got the final payment the week before... No one shows... No one, just me and the DJ." - TexasTiger70
"uh, yeah, okay, yeah I do"
"She told me two days before that she found her fiancé annoying and that she didn't like him and that he was AWFUL in bed. She was visibly, endlessly uncomfortable at the rehearsal wedding/dinner combo. Then she sobbed the ENTIRE morning, day-of."
"She ended up not getting any makeup done cause she wouldn't stop scream-sobbing and refused to get dressed, stalling the wedding ~35 minutes. She then said 45 minutes of "vows" that she had prepared (9 pages of things like inappropriate vows to friends and family, his parents and sisters, none of them her husband), and then ALMOST didn't say "I do."
"Managed to get a, "uh, yeah, okay, yeah I do" out of her almost a full 60 seconds after she was supposed to say anything. I could go on for HOURS, but it was the most painful and awkward wedding I've ever been to. I've got my money on 10 months. We're 1 month in."
"I promise to love you"
"I've got two:"
"One of my good friends got married and I'd never met her before the wedding because "she's just shy." On the wedding day, she was belligerently drunk before the ceremony even started and couldn't even get through the lines she was supposed to repeat (i.e. "I promise to love you"). She ended up slapping the groom, spilling champagne on her dress, and then crying under a table while he tried to comfort her. They lasted about 4 months."
"Another one was my wife's friend. She's a very conservative, religious white girl who married a black man. Most of her racist family didn't approve of the marriage and didn't show up. But she planned the whole marriage around race. Like a vanilla cake for her and a chocolate cake for him, the wedding colors were black and white, and even the meals were white meat for her side and dark meat for his. It was extremely uncomfortable as a guest. They lasted 2 years."
Maybe choose rum?bride fail GIFGiphy
"When the bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor."
"My uncle when he broke his neck trying to breakdance on his stag do, He went down the aisle in a wheelchair. She divorced shortly after. He can walk again now but because of his surgery he cannot turn his neck. One of my go to stories because it's freaking insane."
being happy... for me...
"My brother's ex-wife. Throughout the exchange of vows, she was looking at everyone but my brother, making sure all eyes were on her. Later, she instructed the photographer (a family friend who was cheap) to "mingle" and get shots of people "being happy."
"Within 10 minutes, she'd summoned the photographer back shouting, "Whose wedding is this?! I meant get shots of people being happy for me." They broke up when she cheated on him. Apparently, that marriage she was desperate for was only good while it brought her attention."
School Loveleonardo dicaprio love GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"When they got married illegally in high school. Two 16 year olds from different states who had to lie on their certificate to get approved by the state. It was annulled when the father of the groom found out."
2 Left Feet
"Prior to my wedding I'd asked my husband to practice dancing with me because I'm uncoordinated, due to a disability. He blew me off and said we'd be fine. As we were dancing, he spoke in my ear, not even quietly. "What are you doing? What's wrong with you? You're embarrassing me!!" We lasted 2 years. Leaving was the best decision I ever made."
Knockoutanne hathaway weddings GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"When the groom ran up and punched the bride during the reception in some kind of drunken melee."
Marriage is way to expensive to be a mistake. So think it all through very carefully. And put your heart aside and lead with your mind when friends are warning you about red flags. If red flags start adding up... wave them high as you run, down the other end of the aisle.
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I tend to avoid public bathrooms if I can help it. They are terrible places. Few are clean and I admit I am a bit of a clean freak. My beautiful bottom will not grace a dirty toilet seat, no thank you. I have standards.
I'm being only sort of serious. I've been in a pinch before. But have you ever seen a gas station bathroom that was utterly destroyed by the patron (or patrons) before you? It's a horrible sight. 0/10: Do not recommend.
Naturally, some crazy things happen in your local public restroom. We heard some stories after Redditor RuffNBoy asked the online community,
"What is the wackiest thing you've seen in a public restroom?"
"At the theater I work at..."
"At the theater I work at I was cleaning the mens restroom and in one of the stalls was an open condom wrapper, a tiny empty bottle of the nacho cheddar seasoning we sell, and the seasoning scattered near the corner on the floor. Bethesda wishes they had environmental storytelling like that."
Do I really want to know what went on there? I honestly don't think so.
"I used to be..."
"I used to be a hotel maid. Cleaning one room I found two things in the bathroom garbage can: a used condom and a whole pickle."
"I was taking a dump..."
"I was taking a dump at a movie theater and a little kid climbed under the stall and grabbed my foot. I screamed and kicked that kid so hard right in the face just out of sheer instinct. He cried. His dad said, "That's what you get Gavin."
Gavin is at it again and this time he faced some consequences.
"I walked in..."
"I walked in and my eyes were immediately assaulted by a fully naked man running a stick of deodorant up and down his crack."
Wow... what a terrible day to be able to read.
"Not only did this bathroom..."
"Gas station bathroom in the middle of nowhere. Not only did this bathroom have a bathtub (?) but there was a fully dressed and made up mannequin in the tub. Very jarring."
This sounds surreal... and honestly rather creepy.
"I once stopped..."
"I once stopped at a gas station on a road trip and the bathroom was full of dolls…. Staring with their little painted eyes…."
Their creepy and unsettling eyes!
"Two people were having sex in the handicapped stall. I was seven."
So something tells me you learned about the birds and the bees rather early.
"A clogged urinal..."
"A clogged urinal filled to the brim, with an anaconda sized turd spiral floating in it, in hypnotic circles. How a turd that size could be buoyant I have no idea."
This is quite the sentence. I don't think I needed it in my eyeballs, but it's too late now.
"I was in a Berlin dive bar..."
"Olives. I was in a Berlin dive bar with some friends. In the bathroom, there was a vending machine, stocked with tinned tapas. So I came back from the bathroom with a can of olives. When asked where I got them I just replied "bathroom.""
This is simultaneously hilarious and horrifying. I can only imagine the looks on your friends' faces...
Okay, so now you understand why I can't abide public restrooms. If you're smart, you'll run for the hills the next time you're in the proximity of one. Things can only go downhill from there. (Am I being serious? Maybe... maybe not.)
Have some stories of your own to share? Tell us more in the comments below!
One should never be fooled by a first impression.
Certain people might behave in a way that is less than indicative of what they are actually like, and might prove to be far more impressive, or much less friendly, once you get to know them a little better.
However, sometimes people will behave in a certain way which leaves one unable to avoid making assumptions about people.
Namely, their intelligence.
Redditor sparklingshanaya was curious to hear what behavioral traits the Reddit community took as a sign of possessing a considerable lack of intelligence, leading them to ask:
"What are some behaviors that scream unintelligence?"
An unwillingness to learn
"I feel like the classic example is being unable to change your opinion or idea when you are presented with new information."
"You don’t have to set everything you believe in stone."- Rusty_of_Shackleford
"I think a key thing that separates the intelligent from the less intelligent is curiosity and how far you actually go to learn."- TuxedoWolf07
When even they don't know what they're talking about.
"Maybe not unintelligence but ignorance."
"People getting angry when I ask them to explain what they just meant as I want to understand them and not misunderstand."- smokinstuff·
"Getting angry when someone ask them to explain their point."- SuvenPanWorking Julie Andrews GIFGiphy
It's never attractive to gloat
"Obsessively telling everybody how intelligent you are."- terribleUsername18
It's ok to admit defeat every now and then...
"Playing 'last word' in an argument you've lost."- LennonMcCartney65
"Being defensive when corrected instead of just accepting it."- Marthstewart123
"Claiming they are always right but not being able to argument why or have a serious debate about it."- GReatChinookDrop The Mic GIF by In Real LifeGiphy
Are you sure about that?
"Constantly saying 'facts' that are extremely false."
"Gets on my nerves."- Sharkifish
Read the instructions!!!
"I just started driving for UberXL."
"The amount of people who think they can fit 8 people with all their luggage into a midsize SUV is astonishing."
"You can see which car comes to pick you up and it says fits 5 people."
"If you have a piece of luggage each then it's more like 3 people."
"I had one group sit there and stare me down like they didn't understand."
"I swear some people just have a mental limit for figuring things out and they all find each other and never get anywhere."- predict_irrational
One should always reserve judgment, as one never knows for sure what lurks beneath the surface.
Even if more often and not, you are left with little to nothing which encourages you to see what's there.
One of my favorite horror films ever is Black Christmas (1974). It's the perfect slasher film. It's scary. It's uncompromising. It's sordid. It's eerie. It leaves you with a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. It features some great acting, too! There are some powerhouse talents in it, including Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, and Andrea Martin.
But did you know that the film has been remade? It's been remade twice, as a matter of fact. The first remake, which was released in 2006, was so ridiculous. Not even Martin, who showed up in a glorified cameo in the role of a sorority house mother, could save it.
It was remade again in 2019 — this one bore few similarities to the films that came before it. One wondered why this one even had the same name, but there you have it.
Suffice it to say that the original Black Christmas is untouchable. But it is not the only film out there that should never have been remade. Far from it.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor CrescendoX asked the online community,
"What movie is so perfect that if it would remade, it would be a crime against humanity?"
"Misery. I could totally see a remake of Misery that used the way social media creates parasocial relationships so prevalently."
But let's not. I mean, who could ever replace Kathy Bates? She won an Oscar for the role!
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
I've seen the animation they've done for some of these new "live action meets cartoons" things.. The work the art/animation team put into Who Framed Roger Rabbit is STILL to this day putting them to shame."
A good choice. It was a pretty groundbreaking film and it's still influencing filmmakers to this day. That cast!
"It would be impossible to remake that perfect movie. The cast, story, and practical effects are wonderful. A remake would be full of CGI and a BS script."
Don't you dare suggest this! Don't you dare give those horrible Hollywood execs any ideas!
"Spaceballs. I don't want any other version."
But think about the merchandising!
Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money
"Jaws. I read somewhere that Spielberg won't let it be remade."
If someone did someday remake it, I would highly suggest they remove a lot of the unnecessary subplots that are in the book!
Did we really need that affair?
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
"The Silence of the Lambs. Remakes should only be attempted when you are sure that it can outclass the original but Silence of the Lambs cannot be outclassed."
Two Oscar-winning performances. It doesn't get any better than Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster. The film is a masterclass — the Criterion edition is especially beautiful.
Stand by Me (1986)
"Stand by Me. It would be an insult to River Phoenix and many others to remake that."
This film is so highly regarded that a remake just seems foolish. Why even bother attempting one? Go and read the novella instead.
Back to the Future (1985)
"Back to the Future. Please please please PLEASE don't ruin it with a remake."
As long as Robert Zemeckis doesn't kick the bucket we're safe!
Uncle Buck (1989)
"Uncle Buck. Don't you dare touch it."
Without John Candy that would be like trying to remake the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in a Denny's with only ketchup and mustard. Just a tragic, ill-conceived imitation.
My Cousin Vinny (1992)
"My Cousin Vinny. Joe Pesci's performance is perfect."
Hey, don't forget Marisa Tomei! She stole the show. And she won an Oscar for the role!
The list of movies that should not be touched is endless and you no doubt have your opinions.
Which movies should be left the hell alone? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Sex talk is still considered a taboo subject in many households. And I don't mean going into detail about your bedroom conquests at the dinner table.
Overprotective parents tend to be evasive about discussing the birds and the bees with their kids because they feel it's not up to them to have that conversation.
Remember Carrie White's religious mom who refused to talk about intimacy with her 16-year-old?
We all know how that turned out in the classic Stephen King novel.
Anyway, parents turning down an opportunity to have the uncomfortable convo or having their kids miss out on sex education can lead a child to potentially develop damaging misunderstandings about their body and puberty.
The effects of which were explored when Redditor sparklingshanaya asked:
"What’s a sexual misconception you had for way too long?"
It helps to have an earlier understanding about your body when you're younger.
"As a girl, I had no real idea of where/what the vagina was until I was like 11 or 12. My mom didn't give me a real sex talk, just a puberty/body book that said 'the vagina is between the woman's legs' and just had a full frontal diagram (legs closed) of a woman with an arrow pointing to her pelvic region. I also didn't know a period lasted longer than a day until I got mine at 14, and then wondered why it was still going on the next day."
"When my mom realized how abysmal my sex education was, her solution was to rent a video from the library about it and make me watch it on the big family TV in the living room at like 3pm. Granted— it was a very educational video but I won't ever forget one of the educators (a 50 year old woman) talking about how to give a satisfactory blow job."
"Ok so I grew up in a VERY conservative household. Was not allowed to take sex ed in middle school and they helicoptered in high school. Any internet access they had access to view so I never watched porn/looked at pics. Absolutely nothing. So for a long time I thought penises were shaped like a smaller pringles can. I thought it was just like...a straight up cylinder. Moved out at 17 and googled some things and man I had men's anatomy SO wrong."
Wrong End Of The Stick
"Friend of mine has a similar background and I just about lost my mind when she said the balls are the END of the penis. Like she had seen those doodles and had it upside down so they just dangle off the end of the shaft lmaooo."
Let's get verbal about getting oral.
Satisfy A Woman
"Learn to go down on a woman, like become a master at it. Do this."
Excuse For Supper
"I second this. Been married for 20 years and it's something I'm happy to do."
"Get involved, people."
"Edit: thanks for the medals and upvotes, people! Be assured that I'll be celebrating tonight."
"Friend of a friend thought it meant kissing. And they were like 19. So glad they found out through a conversation and not through a dude asking for it, or her talking about it. That would've been extremely confusing for everyone."
"My friend back in middle school thought a blowjob meant to literally blow on it. I still tease her about it to this day."
"Man, I thought I was gonna get so many blow jobs. That’s just not true."
As young adolescents, these Redditors got these terminologies mixed up.
"When I was around middle school age I thought that oral sex meant talking dirty :’)"
"I used to sext with my girlfriend in high school. When we broke up, she just went crazy and told everyone in our grade that I was great at 'oral sex' (she meant sexting💀) School hasn’t been the same since then."
Learning By Example
"I was kind of sheltered growing up, and like most sheltered kids, I learned a lot about sex through porn. I kept seeing 'blowjob' videos, and (i had no idea what a blowjob) assumed it was some kind of sex blooper. Like, something got messed up and the director said 'Oh darn, you blew it! Let’s take it from the top.'”
I had sex education in sixth grade after my parents gave the school permission for me to attend the special assembly centering on the topic.
But I remember how vague the instructor was. By the time I eventually had my first nocturnal emission, I remember being terrified, yet simultaneously elated. It was very confusing, and I didn't know what happened.
I remember reflecting back to sixth grade and thinking the school must've skipped that part in sex ed.