Waiters Reveal The Strangest Things They've Overheard From Customers While Bussing Tables

People tend not to focus on wait staff in restaurants unless they're actively engaging with the customers.
The customer is there to enjoy their meal and spend time with their group, and it's not like restaurant workers try to intrude.
This cal lead to some highly interesting snippets of conversations being accidentally (or intentionally, no judgment) overheard while bussing tables.
Reddit user u/xXMrEmeraldXx asked:
10.
Work as a bartender at a restaurant/bar with an outdoor area, part of closing every night is winding 6 umbrellas down (hand-cranked, each one takes about 2 minutes to fully wind up/wind down). I was winding them down one night, and I usually zone out to try and avoid eavesdropping, but these two guys very obviously were trying to be quiet and were waiting for me to go. Eventually they realised it was gonna take a while and kept talking. I'm almost done when I hear 'and that's when he paid me two thousand dollars to poop in his mouth'. Being 18 and at the end of a double, I couldn't help but laugh, and these guys both started laughing with me.
To this day, I'm not sure if he made it up to see if I was listening, or if it was a legit story, but it's certainly something I've never forgotten.
9.
Years ago as a manager in LA - I took a ladder into a corner to change a track light. I man and women are sitting across from each other, her back is to me, and he is facing me but mostly blocked from view. I can slightly over hear them having a meeting. I can kind of make out what the guy is saying while I'm setting up the ladder quietly and quickly. man is doing most of the talking. He is explaining something about she falls in the hole, she sees, dream....I catch bits and pieces and think this guy must be talking about Alice in Wonderland. When I'm on the ladder I catch I look to catch a glimpse of the guy. He looks a bit disheveled, and I pass it off as some dude on a hopeless pitch or idea.
Think nothing more of it. 2 years later, friend posts on Facebook that he met Tim Burton. I look at the photo he posted. Surprised as hell...It was the guy at the table that morning when I was changing the light bulb.
8.
I was working in a hotel breakfast room and I heard a wee boy asking his mum 'dad said if I eat all my cereal I'll grow up to be a big giant! Is that true...?'
His mother answered nonchalantly 'yes of course its true!''
The wee boy then started to go into a frightening panic screaming 'AAaaaaaaaarrrggghhh I DON'T WANT TO BE A BIG GIANT!?!?!?!!!!'
Haha her face was priceless (:
7.
I work in the kitchen. But I work in a Bar and Grill in a rich college town. So naturally the town itself is lacking in the common sense department. But I went back behind the bar to refill my drink and head back into the kitchen when I had a woman ask me what was on her burger. I kept looking and looking, quite unsure what she was referring to. She said "these things" and traced the grill marks with her fingers. I told her "ma'am those would be the grill marks". This woman then turned to me and asked "can I get a new burger without them". I looked at her, dumbfounded, not quite sure how to respond. I tried my best to remain polite, saying "that's not possible ma'am." She didn't quite understand the fact that it wasn't possible. I promptly laughed and went back to the kitchen, I'm not the one being paid to be nice to customers.
6.
I worked at a bagel store when I was 15, and a group of people come in and join the line they were a few years older than me out of high school because I didn't recognize them from around my semi small school. I was working as the cashier because I wasn't trained to use the ovens yet. My coworker went into the back to get a fresh thing of bagels for the display. The group of people on line are all whispering to each other and I'm not paying attention because I'm working with another women. After a second one of the guys go, "It's not cool that you did her man." I listen in because it sounded like good drama.
The second guy goes "She came onto me man" the rest of the group is uncomfortable and slowly dispersing. The first guy says, "It'd still not cool man what the hell!" It getting heated now and my co worker still isn't back with the bagels yet. Finally the second guy goes "It's not my fault, you're the one who left me alone with your mom"
The entire group disperses with angry muttering and half of them leave, I don't know how i got through the rest of my shift
5.
A friend of mine worked for a while at a local Chinese restaurant. The wait staff were all Asian, most Chinese who spoke just enough English to get the message across. My friend, however, was American through and through, and only spoke a bit of Chinese because her grandmother spoke nothing else and her mother would swap between Chinese and English in the same sentence.
As she was cleaning a table, she overheard two "good ol' boys" behind her talking about breaking into a place. She slowed down what she was doing and listened a little closer, hoping they wouldn't realize she could understand them perfectly. After a few moments, she realized they were talking about breaking into the restaurant after it closed and robbing the place.
She remained calm (outwardly, anyway; she confided in me later that she was scared out of her gourd) and told the manager once she got to the back, who then had the cops ready. Both guys were arrested after they broke the lock on the back door.
4.
I've been working for about 3 weeks (I'm 16), and I've already heard 6 girls telling all the latest info with people at their tables including but not limited to: cheating, what they want a guy to do to them (also, wtf?), and some older lady talking about her short encounter with a guy she met at the gym, and believe me, she didn't just talk about the gym.
3.
Barbacked for summer at a "hard rock cafe" themed knock off in a nice neighborhood. Sunday's we had a killer brunch that people came and day drank and mimosas flowed for hours.
Well when people drink they become bold and honest. And I overheard two mid 40s white women discussing how they both cheated on their husbands and how easy it was as stay at home moms. I mean... it's 1130am and these two women are talking in broad daylight about how they "reconnected" with guys from their college days and slept with them in the beds their poor husbands paid for and sleep in.
Blows me away how scummy people are.
2.
Wasn't working there , but was sitting next to a table of three guys making plans to rob a gold store less than a block away. I noticed at least two of them had guns. I went outside to call 911 and met two cops that arrived. One of them knew the guys, and they owned the store!
1.
I waited tables in college in the 90s. I once overheard a two-hour long lunch between four guys talking about laundering money through foreign banks for a foreign country. It was pretty surreal with how nonchalant they were about everything.
Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
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