So let's tell the story about the time I accidentally dated a whole-a$$ child for a year.
It was my first year of college, I met a really cute guy at my part time job. We became friends pretty quickly, which turned into dates, hanging out with his family, etc...
The whole time he, and his family, tell me he is 23.
We date totally normally. Go out to dinner, bars, hang out on the beach—cute people stuff.
He never has a problem ordering drinks, getting into places, etc... Nothing about this 6'1" man with a beard seems suspicious to me in any way.
He lived at home, but so did I.
Broke college students, you know?
Then his "24th" birthday rolls around and all his friends show up to surprise him - except they roll up with pretty much every "legal adult" joke possible about how now he can vote and get into strip clubs etc.
Cat was BIG TIME out of the bag.
Turns out he and his family agreed to lie to me because they liked me and I "had potential" as a long term partner. He told his friends I "went to another school" and since I'm under 5 feet tall and was only about 20 at the time, I didn't look old enough to raise any suspicions from them.
This dude and his family were just going to run with it until he was a legal adult and it "didn't matter in the eyes of the law, just like it doesn't matter in our hearts."
NOPE.
They could not grasp why I dumped him.
So anyway, one Reddit user asked:
"What's something you found out about your S.O years into the relationship that made you reevaluate the whole relationship?"
I'm thinking there's no way a whole bunch of other people have experiences with bizarre long cons ... right?
Yeah not only have other people dealt with long term deception, I wasn't even the only person to have that deception mean they dated a teenager when they thought they were dating an adult.
Behold the wasteland that is Reddit relationships ...
The Real Story
He told me upfront he had been in prison for attempted murder.
His story: He caught his ex-wife's new boyfriend beating her in front of their kids. He beat him up bad enough the guy got brain damage. Ended up with prison time.
A year into the relationship he told me.....
The Real Story: He broke into his ex-wife's house, watched her and the new guy sleep for a while and then stabbed the guy 7 times with a hunting knife. Guy is a vegetable now.
We were having dinner at his brother's house and his brother made an off-hand comment about him and big knives. I was really puzzled and the brother could tell.
My ex literally was just like "OH, I didn't want you to not like me."
I couldn't be comfortable around him after that.
There were red flags prior but I wanted to be happy. For example, he wanted to spend all of our free time together. I took one night "off" from seeing him..... just to be me, do my own thing. Woke up to a note from him taped to my bedroom window.
Everyone was like "WOW he's so into you! He really loves you! That's so romantic!"
Later after finding out about the attempted murder and its circumstances my skin just crawled. I felt like I was going to end up on forensic files. We broke up shortly thereafter.
- MissSassifrass1977
Age Ain't Nuthin' But A Number
He lied about his age. Not just 1 or 2 years but 9 years.
- toromeyl
Not as big an age gap, but happened to a friend too. She was 23 at the time and he was 17.
To her credit they met in a nightclub you need to be 18 to enter and he'd told all of us all he was 25 and he even looked it too. He admitted his age when she threatened him with the police.
Everyone couldn't believe it when we heard and only had his age confirmed when we asked the bouncers to ID him before letting him in and he got banned from that nightclub. Like I said this guy looked older, even to the bouncers, hence the never IDing him until someone asked them to.
- geraltsthiccass
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Five Years And He Never Found Out Why
Not me but my friend and it could be a movie on mental abuse. It took him nearly five years to find out how awful she was.
He was with a woman for five years. They moved in after a year and that's when he started getting "forgetful." They were only mid-20s but he started forgetting where he had put things, losing stuff, getting dates wrong etc.
The strange thing was it was only to do with things at home and his girlfriend. He'd come out with us and reminisce perfectly about old stories, he'd remember our birthdays and we shared a garage that we stored our bikes and stuff in and he'd never misplace a tool or anything there.
However, at home, he'd lose tools, keys, bank cards, phones etc and then they'd turn up somewhere else. He got his girlfriend's families birthdays wrong. He'd go to appointments on the wrong days or miss important phone calls.
Even things like on Facebook people would be wishing him happy birthday on the wrong day because he'd put his wrong birthday in.
It was really getting him down and he was doubting himself constantly, his girlfriend would arrange appointments with doctors but he'd end up turning up ok the wrong day and missing them. She'd put them on the calendar but he still got them wrong.
It was another friend, Sam, who noticed it first, that all these episodes happened around her and the home. He told us all and I'll be honest, despite not liking her and her fake niceness I wasn't convinced.
Our friend definitely wasn't convinced but Sam managed to talk him into putting cameras up at the home, not telling her and re-watching them.
It only took two days to catch her it was crazy. He came home put his phone on the side and said he was running upstairs real quick.
Once he was out of sight, she grabbed his phone and hid it in the teapot. He came down, couldn't find his phone and asked if she'd seen it. She said no and helped him look and he was getting distressed and she was saying things like "this is why I'm worried about you" and "you might have a tumor or something."
Then she told him to check upstairs and when he was gone she got the phone back out and put it on the windowsill rather than the counter. He came down saw it and she said "see you was nearly right with it, it wasn't far away from where you thought."
Over the next few days she would do this constantly with keys, remotes, wallets. They wouldn't be moved far from where he thought but enough to make him start to think he was losing his mind.
After four days of recording, she offered to book him another doctor's appointment. She made it and wrote it on the calendar, then she went in to a cupboard, got another calendar exactly the same and wrote the appointment on the day before and hung that one.
That night he confronted her with videos of her doing all this and she calmly packed all the stuff she could into a couple of bags and just left without giving him any explanation at all and never spoke to him again or made any effort to contact him.
He ended up sending the evidence to her parents asking them to get her help but no one knows if they did. Within a couple of years she was married to someone else.
So it took him five years to find out how crazy she was and he never found out why she was like that and why she did it to him.
- Feeblemindedbrother
Hi, Mom
My mom had recently died and a girl I knew started coming over and explaining how she went though something similar.
We really connected over it. We had full on cries together over her moms passing.
Imagine my surprise 6 months into our relationship when her mom showed up randomly one day.
- TheDigitalNinja
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Oh, but if you thought long term deception was the only way to tank a relationship, you thought WAY wrong.
There are other ways, like...
So Much For All That Talk
He was very anti cheating.
He cut off ties with friends who cheated on their girlfriends or wives. He went on rants about how he was just starting to like his cousins husband until he cheated.
His mother cheated on his father, which caused a divorce when he was 5. He saw it as the thing that broke apart his family, and swore to never cheat or forgive or tolerate cheating.
Whatdoyaknow, he cheats on me.
So much for all that talk.
- honestgoing
That sounds like my ex husband. Really disgusted by cheaters, would rant about cheaters. Found out after we were married he cheated on every girlfriend he had ... then me of course.
- Ilikezombiesnails
Compulsive
She lied more often than she told the truth.
She'd lied to me about a lot of things in her background. She'd lie to friends and acquaintances about things that weren't even important to sound more interesting. She'd lie about things that were important to get what she wanted. We'd get into arguments about it and she claimed everyone lives this way.
It became a much bigger problem for me after the divorce
- BigBobby2016
I dated a guy like that for a little over a year. Everything was a lie. Whole friends, stories of their pasts together, jobs he had, places he'd been, all lies.
- sugamonkey
That's Not How Poly Works
He decided 6 years into the relationship that he wanted to have multiple partners.
I don't mean he wanted to start swinging or he wanted an open relationship. He just wanted to have the same relationship he had with me, with a bunch of other women at the same time, and he wanted them to live with us.
Completely out of the blue.
I'm aware that polyamory is a thing, and I don't have a problem with people who are. I have friends who are.
It just isn't for me and I know enough from my friends to know that is absolutely NOT how you go about bringing it into a relationship.
- uncool4skool
And sometimes, the horrifying realizations and reevaluations don't actually lead to an unhappy ending!
Pizza Monsters
Eats the toppings off the pizza first. All of them, cheese included, like some kind of psycho. Then the plain crust. An absolute monster. Still married her.
- teej1211
And I would like to mention that I get at least one bite of pizza "as intended" in there. But, cheese/pepperoni roll-ups are not a thing to knock. They're perfect.
(Also: I am aware & fully embrace that this is my signature serial killer move.)
- groundbreakingMud92
You are not alone, I also eat pizza in this way!
- iridescantaf
I love eating pizza this way.
- legendaryreptile
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The Honeymoon Phase
This One is kinda the reverse. For the first 5 years of my and my SO's relationship I was depressed due to some trauma I went through before we met.
After the 5 year mark we moved and I started going to school. During this time I changed a lot and became a lot happier and more stable and had a lot of energy.
My partner was in total disbelief and told me he couldn't believe how much I was flourishing in this new environment. It took a little bit of adjustment for the both of us. I was no longer as dependent on him and he tried to get to know the new me and figure out his new role now that he was no longer in a caregiving role but was just a regular boyfriend.
Ever since that move, our relationship has gotten better and better. Lockdown was a massive level up for us too. We were stuck together for months and discovered so many new things about one another and we have only grown closer since.
It sometimes feel like we did our relationship in reverse and now we are experiencing the honeymoon phase a decade into the relationship. I love him so much and he's my soul mate. I will spend the rest of my life showing him how much I love and appreciate him.
- advicemovingon
A Weekly Campaign
We were dating for over a year at this point, and I knew my man was kinda nerdy for sure, but didn't know the extent of it.
We lived together even, and he was so afraid of me judging him for playing D&D he just stopped playing when we started dating and never talked about it! Finally he did eventually bring up how he used to play weekly through his teenage years and I told him I'd like to join and wanted to support him.
He was honestly taken aback, not expecting a kind response.
I played for three years straight in his weekly campaign he ran, and he still plays weekly with another group of his friends and I help him flesh out his character designs and buy him the newest books whenever they come out.
Nerdy is my type! I don't know why he tried to hide it for over a year😂
- LittleRedSongbird
Just tell the truth, folks.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.