So let's tell the story about the time I accidentally dated a whole-a$$ child for a year.
It was my first year of college, I met a really cute guy at my part time job. We became friends pretty quickly, which turned into dates, hanging out with his family, etc...
The whole time he, and his family, tell me he is 23.
We date totally normally. Go out to dinner, bars, hang out on the beach—cute people stuff.
He never has a problem ordering drinks, getting into places, etc... Nothing about this 6'1" man with a beard seems suspicious to me in any way.
He lived at home, but so did I.
Broke college students, you know?
Then his "24th" birthday rolls around and all his friends show up to surprise him - except they roll up with pretty much every "legal adult" joke possible about how now he can vote and get into strip clubs etc.
Cat was BIG TIME out of the bag.
Turns out he and his family agreed to lie to me because they liked me and I "had potential" as a long term partner. He told his friends I "went to another school" and since I'm under 5 feet tall and was only about 20 at the time, I didn't look old enough to raise any suspicions from them.
This dude and his family were just going to run with it until he was a legal adult and it "didn't matter in the eyes of the law, just like it doesn't matter in our hearts."
NOPE.
They could not grasp why I dumped him.
So anyway, one Reddit user asked:
"What's something you found out about your S.O years into the relationship that made you reevaluate the whole relationship?"
I'm thinking there's no way a whole bunch of other people have experiences with bizarre long cons ... right?
Yeah not only have other people dealt with long term deception, I wasn't even the only person to have that deception mean they dated a teenager when they thought they were dating an adult.
Behold the wasteland that is Reddit relationships ...
The Real Story
He told me upfront he had been in prison for attempted murder.
His story: He caught his ex-wife's new boyfriend beating her in front of their kids. He beat him up bad enough the guy got brain damage. Ended up with prison time.
A year into the relationship he told me.....
The Real Story: He broke into his ex-wife's house, watched her and the new guy sleep for a while and then stabbed the guy 7 times with a hunting knife. Guy is a vegetable now.
We were having dinner at his brother's house and his brother made an off-hand comment about him and big knives. I was really puzzled and the brother could tell.
My ex literally was just like "OH, I didn't want you to not like me."
I couldn't be comfortable around him after that.
There were red flags prior but I wanted to be happy. For example, he wanted to spend all of our free time together. I took one night "off" from seeing him..... just to be me, do my own thing. Woke up to a note from him taped to my bedroom window.
Everyone was like "WOW he's so into you! He really loves you! That's so romantic!"
Later after finding out about the attempted murder and its circumstances my skin just crawled. I felt like I was going to end up on forensic files. We broke up shortly thereafter.
- MissSassifrass1977
Age Ain't Nuthin' But A Number
He lied about his age. Not just 1 or 2 years but 9 years.
- toromeyl
Not as big an age gap, but happened to a friend too. She was 23 at the time and he was 17.
To her credit they met in a nightclub you need to be 18 to enter and he'd told all of us all he was 25 and he even looked it too. He admitted his age when she threatened him with the police.
Everyone couldn't believe it when we heard and only had his age confirmed when we asked the bouncers to ID him before letting him in and he got banned from that nightclub. Like I said this guy looked older, even to the bouncers, hence the never IDing him until someone asked them to.
- geraltsthiccass
GiphyFive Years And He Never Found Out Why
Not me but my friend and it could be a movie on mental abuse. It took him nearly five years to find out how awful she was.
He was with a woman for five years. They moved in after a year and that's when he started getting "forgetful." They were only mid-20s but he started forgetting where he had put things, losing stuff, getting dates wrong etc.
The strange thing was it was only to do with things at home and his girlfriend. He'd come out with us and reminisce perfectly about old stories, he'd remember our birthdays and we shared a garage that we stored our bikes and stuff in and he'd never misplace a tool or anything there.
However, at home, he'd lose tools, keys, bank cards, phones etc and then they'd turn up somewhere else. He got his girlfriend's families birthdays wrong. He'd go to appointments on the wrong days or miss important phone calls.
Even things like on Facebook people would be wishing him happy birthday on the wrong day because he'd put his wrong birthday in.
It was really getting him down and he was doubting himself constantly, his girlfriend would arrange appointments with doctors but he'd end up turning up ok the wrong day and missing them. She'd put them on the calendar but he still got them wrong.
It was another friend, Sam, who noticed it first, that all these episodes happened around her and the home. He told us all and I'll be honest, despite not liking her and her fake niceness I wasn't convinced.
Our friend definitely wasn't convinced but Sam managed to talk him into putting cameras up at the home, not telling her and re-watching them.
It only took two days to catch her it was crazy. He came home put his phone on the side and said he was running upstairs real quick.
Once he was out of sight, she grabbed his phone and hid it in the teapot. He came down, couldn't find his phone and asked if she'd seen it. She said no and helped him look and he was getting distressed and she was saying things like "this is why I'm worried about you" and "you might have a tumor or something."
Then she told him to check upstairs and when he was gone she got the phone back out and put it on the windowsill rather than the counter. He came down saw it and she said "see you was nearly right with it, it wasn't far away from where you thought."
Over the next few days she would do this constantly with keys, remotes, wallets. They wouldn't be moved far from where he thought but enough to make him start to think he was losing his mind.
After four days of recording, she offered to book him another doctor's appointment. She made it and wrote it on the calendar, then she went in to a cupboard, got another calendar exactly the same and wrote the appointment on the day before and hung that one.
That night he confronted her with videos of her doing all this and she calmly packed all the stuff she could into a couple of bags and just left without giving him any explanation at all and never spoke to him again or made any effort to contact him.
He ended up sending the evidence to her parents asking them to get her help but no one knows if they did. Within a couple of years she was married to someone else.
So it took him five years to find out how crazy she was and he never found out why she was like that and why she did it to him.
- Feeblemindedbrother
Hi, Mom
My mom had recently died and a girl I knew started coming over and explaining how she went though something similar.
We really connected over it. We had full on cries together over her moms passing.
Imagine my surprise 6 months into our relationship when her mom showed up randomly one day.
- TheDigitalNinja
GiphyOh, but if you thought long term deception was the only way to tank a relationship, you thought WAY wrong.
There are other ways, like...
So Much For All That Talk
He was very anti cheating.
He cut off ties with friends who cheated on their girlfriends or wives. He went on rants about how he was just starting to like his cousins husband until he cheated.
His mother cheated on his father, which caused a divorce when he was 5. He saw it as the thing that broke apart his family, and swore to never cheat or forgive or tolerate cheating.
Whatdoyaknow, he cheats on me.
So much for all that talk.
- honestgoing
That sounds like my ex husband. Really disgusted by cheaters, would rant about cheaters. Found out after we were married he cheated on every girlfriend he had ... then me of course.
- Ilikezombiesnails
Compulsive
She lied more often than she told the truth.
She'd lied to me about a lot of things in her background. She'd lie to friends and acquaintances about things that weren't even important to sound more interesting. She'd lie about things that were important to get what she wanted. We'd get into arguments about it and she claimed everyone lives this way.
It became a much bigger problem for me after the divorce
- BigBobby2016
I dated a guy like that for a little over a year. Everything was a lie. Whole friends, stories of their pasts together, jobs he had, places he'd been, all lies.
- sugamonkey
That's Not How Poly Works
He decided 6 years into the relationship that he wanted to have multiple partners.
I don't mean he wanted to start swinging or he wanted an open relationship. He just wanted to have the same relationship he had with me, with a bunch of other women at the same time, and he wanted them to live with us.
Completely out of the blue.
I'm aware that polyamory is a thing, and I don't have a problem with people who are. I have friends who are.
It just isn't for me and I know enough from my friends to know that is absolutely NOT how you go about bringing it into a relationship.
- uncool4skool
And sometimes, the horrifying realizations and reevaluations don't actually lead to an unhappy ending!
Pizza Monsters
Eats the toppings off the pizza first. All of them, cheese included, like some kind of psycho. Then the plain crust. An absolute monster. Still married her.
- teej1211
And I would like to mention that I get at least one bite of pizza "as intended" in there. But, cheese/pepperoni roll-ups are not a thing to knock. They're perfect.
(Also: I am aware & fully embrace that this is my signature serial killer move.)
- groundbreakingMud92
You are not alone, I also eat pizza in this way!
- iridescantaf
I love eating pizza this way.
- legendaryreptile
GiphyThe Honeymoon Phase
This One is kinda the reverse. For the first 5 years of my and my SO's relationship I was depressed due to some trauma I went through before we met.
After the 5 year mark we moved and I started going to school. During this time I changed a lot and became a lot happier and more stable and had a lot of energy.
My partner was in total disbelief and told me he couldn't believe how much I was flourishing in this new environment. It took a little bit of adjustment for the both of us. I was no longer as dependent on him and he tried to get to know the new me and figure out his new role now that he was no longer in a caregiving role but was just a regular boyfriend.
Ever since that move, our relationship has gotten better and better. Lockdown was a massive level up for us too. We were stuck together for months and discovered so many new things about one another and we have only grown closer since.
It sometimes feel like we did our relationship in reverse and now we are experiencing the honeymoon phase a decade into the relationship. I love him so much and he's my soul mate. I will spend the rest of my life showing him how much I love and appreciate him.
- advicemovingon
A Weekly Campaign
We were dating for over a year at this point, and I knew my man was kinda nerdy for sure, but didn't know the extent of it.
We lived together even, and he was so afraid of me judging him for playing D&D he just stopped playing when we started dating and never talked about it! Finally he did eventually bring up how he used to play weekly through his teenage years and I told him I'd like to join and wanted to support him.
He was honestly taken aback, not expecting a kind response.
I played for three years straight in his weekly campaign he ran, and he still plays weekly with another group of his friends and I help him flesh out his character designs and buy him the newest books whenever they come out.
Nerdy is my type! I don't know why he tried to hide it for over a year😂
- LittleRedSongbird
Just tell the truth, folks.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.