Friendship Is Important
Prior to the date I had no idea she was deaf, I don't know why she didn't mention it. We met online and after talking decided to meet up for dinner. We met at a neutral location and greeted each other, and she agreed to follow me to the restaurant.
Well at this point I am in my truck driving there, sweating and nervous as hell because I have never met a deaf person. Out loud I said, "OMG this is going to be a long day!" I wasn't expecting it to go well.
Well immediately upon sitting down our conversation went very well. I have never had someone pay so much attention to me and listen to what I was saying. She maintained eye contact, had lots of questions and was very open about her disability. I learned a lot about the whole thing.
I learned a lot about myself and about life in general. First impressions are not everything, despite what the old saying goes. People are very interesting and everyone has their own story.
Will we fall in love and get married and live happily ever after? Well maybe not, but I sure made a new friend at the very least. I also learned a lot about human beings and what it means to take the time to get to know someone.
Truly A Risky First Date Scenario
I met my wife when I was just out of college, so I never had much game when it came to the ladies. In fact, I only had one rule: Never take a woman bowling on a date. There's no best-case scenario: Either you're likely to bowl terribly, in which case you look like a dumb-dumb, or you bowl really well, in which case you look like you took her on a date to show off how good at bowling you are, which is so much worse.
That's what happened to me on a second date. I bowled the game of my life (175, which to actual bowlers isn't a big deal, but to bad-side-of-average bowlers is good) and then, as we were picking up our coats to go, my keychain fell out of my pocket --- my ironic keychain that I'd bought in a New Haven truck stop that said 'World's Greatest Bowler.' Right then, something clicked, and she made up her mind that there wouldn't be a third date, but luckily at some point she changed her mind and now we're married. But apparently it was real touch-and-go for a minute there.
The Magic Of Conversation
When I was in high school I invited a guy I had been friends with for a few months to see a movie with me. I've always had really terrible luck with guys (ie: I end up becoming "one of the guys") and at the time I was honestly a little more interested in dating girls. Anyway, we ended up walking to the movie theatre in mid-February weather, just talking. He was incredibly attentive, had a similar sense of humour, and the way he spun words together made me fall in love with the way he spoke before we even got to the theatre. When we got there I almost didn't want to see the movie; I wanted to keep talking to him. We sat far away from other occupied seats in an almost-empty theatre and he spent the whole movie leaning in close to me and whispering stupid little jokes.
We've now been together for a little over a year and a half now. We got through his first (and pretty disastrous) year of university, and now I'm starting in the same school and we're looking at moving in together in May. Pretty sweet.
This Guy Knows How To Date!
I went on a date with a guy after a few emails and a lunch date. He showed up and had 18 roses waiting for me on the passenger seat of his car. The date went really well, and it was a nice change of pace because at home, my mom had not been speaking to me for the last week because I was going to move out. Ridiculous me as a 21-year-old with a college degree and a full time job thought it was time to get out into the world...
Anyway, when I get home, my parents are waiting up for me (3 am. I called at midnight to reassure them that I'm safe and will be home later). They then say I can't be trusted with the car they gave me, so I am grounded from using the car. I say ok and go to bed. Wake up the next morning, walk out the door and start heading to a car dealership.
I gave the date from last night a call in case he wasn't busy and might be interested giving me a ride to go get a car. He picked me up, we went shopping.
That was 5 years ago. The car's almost paid off, I've spent almost every night at his side since, and in July we celebrated our first wedding anniversary.
Just Like In The Movies
I had broken up with a guy a few months prior who had turned out to be pretty much a sociopath--web of lies, cheated on me the entire year we dated, etc. I was feeling pretty dumb for being taken in by his pretty untrusting of relationships at that moment, and just generally wary of people.
But my friends convinced me to try online dating--I liked being able to kind of "prescreen" the guys, and I wanted to have fun, meet new people, etc.
So, I put up a profile on the dating site attached to The Onion (and also a few other sites), hoping that would lead me to someone with a killer sense of humor. I talked to a few guys and nothing went anywhere, blocked a lot of married guys, and was just about to lose hope when I got a message in my inbox.
The guy looked cute, sent a witty message that sparked my interest, and upon viewing his profile we had a lot in common. I was intrigued enough to write back and that set off a series of messages. The messages led to lengthy phone calls and tons more emails over the holidays.
Then New Year's Day rolled around and he called me, wanting to go out for a drink that night and "start the year off right." Despite being really, really hung over I powered through because I wanted to finally meet this guy.
I didn't expect more than a fun night, just a chance to meet someone new and nice, break out of my shell a little. I certainly didn't have commitment or marriage on my mind. But when we finally stood face to face, it was like a cliche romantic comedy. We only had eyes for each other. I was thrown for a loop by how instantly head-over-heels I was for him...I had the bizarre thought over that first drink that he was The One. We had an amazing first date (lasting a long time after a single drink) and I floated home, already hoping to see him again soon. Little did I know he told his buddies the next day that he met the girl he was going to marry.
That date led to a second, a kiss, and a third, fourth, and fifth. On that date, he said, "I don't want to see anyone else and I hope you don't, either, because I really like you. Want to be my girlfriend?" Three years later, I married him. We have been together almost nine years since that first date.
You never know who will turn out to be your forever.
Being Treated With Respect Goes A Long Way
I remember one date where she actually showed up, didn't stand me up like the others. It was a refreshing change of pace. She was really nice and sweet.
Working Through Things Together
The first time I met him, I was throwing up into a toilet at a fraternity party. He took care of me and walked me back to my dorm that night, handing me off to my roommates. He asked them for my number.
The first time we hung out together, we were making out in a public dorm lounge. On one of our first real dates, he asked me to his fraternity formal. Naturally, I said yes. But he forgot that he also asked a girl he was seeing before he met me. She thought she was still going, so that was...awkward.
About three months into our relationship, he ended up getting extremely sick. He had to drop out of school, and he basically lived out of a hospital for an entire semester. I was there every day and mostly every night with him.
This became a recurring theme in our relationship. Every year, there were new challenges and even more difficult struggles. But all of these things just brought us closer together.
Last month, we got married in Maui in front of all our closest friends and family.
Awkward Can Be Cute!
Had met a dude through mutual friends a few times; he was a friendly acquaintance. Due to one of our buds playing Cupid and dropping hints back and forth, we got the idea to go on an informal sort of double date: him, me, our Cupid and her boyfriend, to the dusk-till-dawn night at the drive in. (Basically people get wasted and watch movies all night). I hated watching movies at the time, but I agreed to go out of interest in this guy.
Another mutual friend was having a party that night as well. After a few "heh stoked for the movie" texts back and forth the whole plan dissolved and we ended up just going to the party. When I got there, a ton of drunk people came up and all asked a variation of "Why were you going to go to the drive in? You hate movies!" making it very obvious that I was only going for the date of it. It became officially a date at that point, which was a little awkward in the good way.
Had a great night, smoked many blunts, ended up sitting awkwardly in the same chair edging closer and closer alllll night until we spontaneously started kissing for the next hour or so. Obnoxious, I know.
All in all, it was the best date I ever had. It didn't feel fake or uncomfortable like every other dinner-and-a-movie date I'd been on. I was comfortable and happy. We made out all night and slept on a futon in a freezing cold room. I woke up happy and...I dunno. Warm. Contented. He kissed me on the cheek in front of everyone at breakfast and I blushed.
16 months later I'm still blushing :)
That's Real Dedication Right There
On my first date, I had explosive diarrhea a one-person bathroom that was audible to a large group of people. When I stepped out, my date (and everyone else) was staring at me with wide eyes. He said we had to go somewhere else because this establishment was closing.
The part where it turned out better than expected: He asked me on a second date.
You Never Know How Things Are Going To Turn Out
I went on a first date with a guy who took me out to a decent restaurant in our tiny hometown. After we ordered dinner, this dude seriously pulled out a cigarette and a lighter and started smoking at the table. This was in like 2006 so it was a little different then, but it's not like it was 1965. People didn't do that. It was not OK. He was the only one smoking in the restaurant.
I finally had to tell him to put the cigarette out. After that start, it's more than a little surprising that we went on to date for six years and have now been married for four. So, hey, you never know.
'Please Just Let Me Take Over'
When I was in college, one of my best guy friends asked me out completely out of the blue --- I'd just gone through a breakup, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Unfortunately, I found out that he was making a super-big deal out of the date: taking me to a stupidly nice restaurant, obsessing over every detail, etc. Yikes. The day of our date, I woke up feeling sick, but I decided I'd suck it up and go.
It was a total disaster. He ordered for me and mispronounced every single thing on the menu (and the waiter let him know it), he spilled soup on his shirt, and when the food came, I suddenly felt so sick that I couldn't eat a thing. It was painfully awkward and neither of us knew what to say for the full meal. On the ride home, he apologized for taking me on the worst date ever, and he was so cute about it, I said I'd plan the next one (which went much, much better).
We dated for the next two years.
Try, Try, And Then Try Again
I had met this girl through a friend of a friend, and started texting/Myspace messaging... the good ol' 2008 flirt combo. Anyways, we decided to meet up one night, and I had recently been on a series of bad dates. I was 18 at the time, so I really wasn't expecting much. Her entire group of friends was really weird, and almost off-putting, but I decided to meet up because my best friend said her and I would be a good match.
It was her idea to meet at this coffee shop downtown. I get there first, wait for a bit, and then meet her. The coffee shop is closed. We decide to go to a hamburger/hot dog joint nearby, and even THAT is closed. I'm beginning to think that this is going to be a giant pile of crap for another date, so I just say "Screw it. Let's go to the Olive Garden."
[BTW, side note, gentlemen: want to impress a girl on a 1st date? Go to the Olive Garden. It works.]
We get there, and we have an awesome dinner. After that, we go for a walk , and end up talking until about 2am. I had to go then, as I had work at 5am, but we ended up meeting the next night for another awesome date. Almost four years later, we're still dating and live together!
Hate Brings People Together
I went on a blind date with a kind of stupid girl. She was pretty cute though. My friend dragged me along because his girlfriend's friend was gonna be lonely. So we went to go see Titanic in 3-D. We talked about how boring that movie was so we went and saw some other movie. We hit it off that night and we both had fun.
This Is Straight Out Of A Nicholas Sparks Movie
When I was in high school, I didn't date. At all. I wanted to finish with fantastic grades so I could get out of the small town I lived in at the time.
So, I'm at the mall and I'm buying the latest Modest Mouse album (Good News, so it was '04), and this random guy asks me on a date. He wasn't from the small town I lived in, so I agreed.
He picked me up from my house, and we drove to a big(ger) city about 45 minutes away. The first thing we did was go to Sonic. I was a bit put off, as Sonic wasn't what I was expecting for first date dining. He then tells me he has a surprise.
With food in hand, we pull over and he beckons me to walk with him. He pulls out a set of keys from his pockets, gives me a smile, and walks up to a billboard ladder. Apparently, his dad owned some billboards in town.
We ate our Sonic sitting way above the traffic of this city, and 16-year-old me was very, very surprised.
Well That's Unique!
A second date ended up with me being invited back to her apartment...which is usually a surefire predictor for smooching --- but then, out of nowhere, she asked, 'Would you like to hold my snake?'
It wasn't a euphemism --- she meant it for real. She had taken her pet snake out of its tank and was offering it to me. And for the record...I HATE SNAKES.
I also knew this was some sort of test. Like, I had to prove my manhood by braving her snake. Otherwise, it'd be an early night.
I weighed my love for smooching against my absolute fear of snakes, and said, 'I'm good, thanks.'
We ended up smooching anyway.
It Takes A Good Person To Turn A Night Around
In college there was this girl I liked, but we had been just friends for a while. One night she casually commented that there was this concert she wanted to go to about 90 minutes away, but she couldn't find anyone to go with. Normally I'm pretty dense, but I picked up on this hint and said I'd love to go. When we got there we decided we'd leave our coats in the car because it was going to be warm inside and we didn't want to drag our coats around all night. Seemed like a brilliant idea, only one problem. She threw her keys in her coat pocket before shutting the door.
This was pre smart phone days, so we tried a pay phone and phonebooks to get a locksmith, but couldn't find one that was open. Eventually she called her dad, who said he'd bring a spare key after the show. We tried to hang out in the lobby as long as we could because it was late October and cold out, but eventually they kicked us out so they could close up. The night could have been a disaster but I ended up having a blast just sitting close to each other to try to keep warm and having good conversation under the stars for about an hour.
When The Chemistry Is THAT Good
In college, my roommate had a great guy friend who was attending a school out of state. He would sometimes call our dorm room (pre-cell phone days) and I'd take his messages for my roomie when she wasn't there. We started talking a little here and there, no biggie. After awhile, he started sending these awesome letters to me with funny cartoons in them, or letters about himself, or drawings he'd done.
Around the end of the school year, he came down to visit my roommate. We finally met face-to-face, and the chemistry was wild. I felt really bad for my roommate, because it was like the instant we met we could not be apart. I truly had no feelings for him before he arrived, and expected it to be a "Hey, nice to meet ya" kind of thing. That night we went out and it was amazing. He was awesome, funny, so sweet, truly a great guy. We fell hard for each other, and ended the night with a steam-up-the-car-windows make out session.
My roommate was really cool about the whole thing, which was awesome. He and I dated for a while.
People Can Surprise You
Went out a few weeks ago with a guy I thought was a pick-up artist, and I had my guard up and was expecting to find him to be a douchebag. Turns out he was really charming, sweet, and I had a great deal of fun with him. I think he's a really genuinely nice person, and I enjoy him a lot. It's rarely awesome to be proven wrong, but this was one such case.
A Wild Adventure!
I was on a second date with this great guy, and everything was going perfectly. Right as we were finishing dinner, his friend called him in desperate need of a ride. Apparently, this dude was just dumped by his girlfriend, who drove off with his wallet and his keys, so he had no way of getting anywhere, and my date (being a good friend) asked if I would mind going on a rescue mission.
An hour later, when we arrived at the address the friend gave us, we realized it was a strip club in a very shady part of town (which means, this guy's girlfriend dumped him at a strip club...hmm...). After picking up this very loud and very drunk third wheel, he started tearing up and told us he couldn't be alone that night, so we begrudgingly said we'd hang out with him for just a bit.
When we got into the house he was staying at, this 'friend' decided to launch his phone as hard as possible at my date's face and broke his front tooth right off. My poor date now had almost zero front tooth, and his friend proceeded to cry again. Shocker, we haven't seen this guy since. But it turns out that missing-tooth look really worked for me , because we've been married for almost 10 years now.
Went on a date with a girl that was way out of my league. It was meant to be a group thing on $2 Tuesdays at the local movie theater. Little by little everyone in the group backed out due to school stuff and the only three left going were the girl and her roommate. The girl was in night class when I called her roommate. That's when she informed me that the girl had a longtime boyfriend. I backed out and gave up.
20 minutes later my phone rings and it's the girl. She wants to go to the movie even though we are the only two going. I gulp HARD and try to act cool as I agree that it would be a good idea. The movie was a borefest (she's all that) so we cut out early and spent HOURS driving around talking and end up sharing a plate of chocolate chip pancakes from IHOP at 4 in the morning.
Neither of us mentioned her boyfriend, as we shared a first kiss. The next day I tell her that I can't continue to see her as long as she has a boyfriend. She breaks down and explains that she felt trapped in this relationship (4 years) with her first boyfriend. He was REALLY verbally abusive and cruel. She was way out of his league too, so I figured this was his way of trying to keep control of her. A day later she broke up with him. 14 years later we are still together, married 9, and have two amazing kids (that got her looks, thank god).
You Never Know What Someone Else Sees In You
I had a "setup" blind date... double date. I thought nothing of it until I saw this woman. She was amazing and well, far out of my league. No problem, I have beer, and a corner. Told my friend he's a jerk.
For some reason, I had the luck of her actually being attracted to me. Also, my friend's wife wanted to see me suffer (thus why the set up with this bombshell) and expected me to fail and enjoy the situation in the days coming. Turns out since she liked me went on full warfare to get this girl NOT to like me. I was pretty heartbroken after that, I assumed my friends wife would doom the prospect of a relationship.
I still don't have a CLUE what I did to impress her.. but I thank whatever made me since it seemed to work. Whatever it was. Seriously, I have no idea, and it's kind of sad to think about the potential mate she could of had compared to me.
On top of this sick game my friends wife was playing, it was an hour's drive to see her, not long in some respects I understand but still, enough to destroy an already stressed situation. Oh, and I worked at night. I would think I spend all my luck during those days... but to make a long story short I eventually had to balls to ask her PARENTS, if I could marry her.... took her to the beach right after and asked. We had kids soon after, and dear lord they are handfuls.
I could go on but she's amazing and so much more, a far better person then I am, thinks of everyone else first, CONSTANTLY makes me better just from being beside her, and man did I need that. I did nothing but make poor choices and cause trouble most of my life, while she stayed away from drugs, polished school off while working and she's basically a saint.
Classic Jacket Move ;)
My junior year of high school a guy asked me to go on a last minute date with him while I was at a family member's 50th birthday party. My parents agreed to let me go (and I was happy to leave the party of old people early) so my dad drove me to a gas station to meet him. We were in his car being awkward and what not, until we got to the movies. I can't remember what movie we saw but it ended pretty late. Not having to be home at a specific time we decided to go to a star party where we stargazed and looked at the moon though a telescope (he was very knowledgeable about stars and space). It was cold out so he made sure I was warm and gave me his jacket.
We left the party at about 11 or 12 and went back to his house. Neither of us wanted the date to end. So we went back to his house and "watched a movie". It was the first time I ever really made out with a guy. I ended up leaving around 3AM. I had no clue what to expect when he asked me out that day, but it turned out to be one of the best/most romantic dates of my life.
A+ For Politeness And Respect
In college, I had told a guy friend I was not open to dating anyone - I was about to leave the country for a year. One day he asks me if I want to go to a movie with a group of his friends. When I show up, he's already bought tickets for both of us and refuses my offer to pay him back. I realize, oh crap, this is a date.
I spend the entire movie hunched over in my seat, dreading the moment he is going to try to put his arm around me or something. He never does. Afterwards we chat and get something to eat and it's all really casual and not weird, but he's made it pretty clear he's interested in me without making me feel pressured. He totally respected my boundaries and was polite as heck, the absolute polar opposite of creepy and possessive.
Long story short, we've been married 6 years.
This Sounds So Natural, I Love It
I had a blind date tonight, set up by a friend of a friend that I met Saturday. She was having a barbeque and I was the only single person there. After chatting with one of her friends, he said he knew someone that I would get along with really well. Hesitant, I gave him my number and he passed it along.
The guy called me last night, we chatted a bit, and set up a date for tonight. He was running late so I sat at the bar, had a shot, and waited. He found me at the bar, being the only person actually sitting at it and I was pleasantly surprised that he was attractive.
We chatted for a good few hours about all the things you probably aren't supposed to talk about on a first date and had a wonderful time. When leaving, my total dorkiness came through when I said I wasn't sure how to end these things. I ended up giving him a goodnight kiss. Shortly after we both arrived at our respective homes, he messaged me asking me for a date Saturday.
It's been quite awhile since I've been on a date and even longer since I've had one that just seemed so effortless. Even if it doesn't work out, I have a renewed sense of hope in dating.
It Sounds Like Fate
My best friends from high school had a big crush on a guy who was a year ahead of us; he was smart, lanky, awkward, a geek, basically. She tried to talk to him numerous times over the years, even joined a couple clubs she had no interest in just because he belonged to them, but all their conversations were strained at best. He was so painfully shy and she was gorgeous and outgoing. I think he was intimidated by her. We never saw him with a girl in all those years. Eventually he graduates and goes off to college - End of story. My friend ends up marrying her college boyfriend, which ends in divorce by the time she's 29 or 30. Several years go by, she moves to another state, rarely dates (her divorce was so nasty she was shell-shocked I think). Finally she agrees to go on a blind date set up by a co-worker. She's told the guy is a life-long bachelor: Handsome, successful engineer for city planning. She told me that the moment she saw him waiting at the restaurant bar, she somehow, against all odds, knew it was her high school crush. Several dates later he admitted he'd spent countless teenage nights cursing his inability to speak to her, and vowing to do it the next day, always failing miserably. Less than a year later, they were married (and they have like a gazillion chinchillas, which has nothing to do with the story, but i think it's cute).
The Wingman Who Fell In Love With The Wingwoman
One night I went out with the lead guitarist of the band I was in. He wanted to get laid, so I played wingman.
We were in the "meat market" club in town, where everyone knows that's why you go there.
So he finds his target, and I sit down across from her friend, as the two of them wonder off to the bar. Without looking at her, I said, "So get ready for some exciting conversation whilst my friend tries to pick yours up."
In the cutest Scottish accent, she replies, "Really, I thought that was my job!"
Next thing you know, she's buying me drinks, and as the conversation grows - the commonalities are unbelievable - we end up on the dance floor, almost dry humping.
At this stage, my friend had gotten to the point where it was dead in the water for him with this lass, and after putting in a few hours, just wanted to go home.
This sucked, because the band always came first, I couldn't leave him high and dry. But she got me in a big hug and said, "Screw off hotshot, you had your chance, this one's mine!"
I looked (lets call him) Nathan in the eye, unsure what to do, and he shrugged and said, "Screw it..." and went home.
Cut to the taxi on the way home and snogfest was on. Thankfully her friend was in the front seat as not to make it so awkward, but for the whole trip, her and the Taxi Driver were overtly talking about us.
This sparked the most intense and awesome relationship I've ever had, in fact, I asked her to marry me.
He Thawed Her Cold Heart
Memorial Day weekend was BAD for me. Like, I was ready to murder every man in my path because I had just ended things with a guy I was on-and-off seeing for two years. My friends invited me over for a girl's night in where they greeted me with bottles of wine and lots of pizza. And for fun, they downloaded one of those swiping online dating apps on my phone and started playing with it. Needless to say we got wasted and I started talking to this guy.
The following night we ended up at a gay bar where I felt safe being around men not into me. But all day I had been messaging back and forth with the guy on the app. So at 8:30 pm, I get a text saying he was in the front of the bar. I go out there, and there's this 6'3" guy standing there, taking up the entire doorway practically. He said my face looked like I saw Bigfoot or something. I immediately told him I hated men, so he needed to show me what he's got.
As the night went on, I gave him everything I had as far as being the most horrible person in the world. And this guy was NOT my type at all. I usually date guys that look borderline feminine, and he was full-on lumber-sexual. But eventually my aggressiveness wore off, and I ended up having a really awesome time with him. I can't explain it, but I've never felt that way about a guy before. Of course, I went home with him, and while at his place, I told him: "I feel like that painting behind you is really expensive, but it's really ugly."
We started seeing each other after that. For once in my life, I met my equal that I entirely respected and got along with and was attracted to, but the whole night started out horribly. He changed the way I see guys, that maybe they're not all jerks out to get me. Oh, and I forgot to mention that in the first 10 minutes of meeting him, I punched him.
She Drove All Night To Get To You
I had a first date that lasted 36 hours.
We were both middle-aged. We lived 70-miles apart. She found me on one of the dating sites, and in retrospect??????? I think she fell in love with my writing (not that it's all that great, but I had put many hours into that profile over the months, and she was very attuned to language). She volunteered to drive the 70-hours to meet me, and ended up spending the night, and the next night.
Persistants Pays Off
I had recently gotten out of a 5 year relationship (caught him cheating, he broke my arm and busted me up pretty good) and moved as far away as I could get, where I had no family or friends. It had been a little under a year, and I had a serious "I hate men" attitude. I was so bitter and was the biggest jerk to any guy that even tried to be nice to me. I had a friend with benefits for a while, who was my best friend, but that was as much involvement as I could deal with.
So I'm working at Starbucks, and I closed Thursday - Monday (we closed at 1:30am, I got out around 3am), and this guy starts coming in every single day. He worked on the same street, but there was a Coffee Bean next to his job. He came in everyday to make small talk with me. I honestly couldn't stand him. I thought he was hot, but he seemed like he got around and, like I said, I was on a quest to be the biggest jerk ever. Every time he asked me questions about myself (favorite band, food, whatever), I gave elusive and smart ass answers. But he kept coming in. He asked me out repeatedly, to see his band play, go to a movie, even tried to take me to a play. But I worked weekends and didn't want to go anyway. He gave me his business card and I held onto it for some reason.
About 6 months of this goes by. I actually had a weekend off for once, and in summer no less. I was on the phone with my mom and she told me to go out and not waste the weekend. I mentioned this guy and she told me to call him. I said no, and she said, "Why, what is wrong with you? He sounds great! And he's put up with your shit this long! Give him a chance." So I did. I called him. But he said he already had plans to go to another city to meet friends. I said ok, another time. He said, "Tell you what, why don't you get ready while I grab some take out and I'll pick you up?" I reluctantly said ok. He picks me up, we drive out of town to "meet his friends" and no one shows. It's just he and I, at this Irish Pub. The place is packed. I don't let him buy my drinks, and I'm still being kind of guarded. As the night rolls on, we had the time of our lives. It felt like I had known him for years, we laughed our asses off, and didn't even notice the crowd the whole night. We went out to have a smoke, and he barely put his hand on the small of my back while we worked through the crowd. And I let him. Right then I realized I felt so comfortable and happy to be there with him. We stayed until close, went back to his place, and stayed up until 6am laughing. I slept next to him, in his boxers and a beater.
I saw him everyday and slept over almost every night. I didn't kiss him for a week, didn't sleep with him for a few. And 6 years later, I'm still sleeping next to him. I asked him to marry me in October and he said yes. That date changed my life, and I'm so lucky my mom talked me into it.
Nothing Like A Little terror To Put You In The Mood
My first date with new guy, happened last night. Was the first time we met in person and had only been talking for like two days. We were originally going to go to a movie with this guy and some friends. My friends suddenly say they have to go do something else but will meet us at the theater.
The guy and I decide we didn't even want to see that movie, stay at my place and watch Doctor Who instead. I text my friends to tell them we aren't coming to the movie. We watch some more random shows, then decide to watch Tropic Thunder.
20 minutes into the movie, something loudly bashes against my door, scares the bejeebus out of us, but then it's just silence. We calm down for a little bit. Then suddenly, the door handle is being slowly pushed down. The guy gets up and looks out the peep hole and can't see anything. We sit back down. Nothing happens for a while. Then suddenly, more bashing against the door, door handle being crazily pushed up and down. Then BAM! A rock is suddenly thrown at my patio door, it was so loud that it sounded like the window cracked. We proceed to freak out, jump off the couch, and grab kitchen knives before hiding in the bathroom.
I call 911, having a heart attack, and am on the line with dispatch for at least 20 minutes while the cops are trying to find my apartment. During this 20 minutes, more rocks were thrown at my windows and there is more knocking and jiggling of the door handle. The guy kind of guards me the whole time with knife in hand.
Cops finally show up, inspect my windows, walk around the buildings, but don't see anyone outside anywhere and can't find any proof that we were telling the truth. They look at us like we are a couple of idiots. They just tell us to keep the door locked and have a good night.
My friends then call us and I tell them what happened, they are like oh my God! no way, we are on our way there right now. I then force them to stay the night because I am so scared. The guy also says he will stay the night with me. We stay up, tell some ghost stories, talk about random stuff, then my friends go to sleep on the floor and the guy and I go my bedroom. Crazy adrenaline fuelled "oh my God we survived!" Sexy-time ensues for the next 5 hours, we never went to sleep. Magical.
The morning comes and my friends send me a text asking me to come out of my room. I come out and they are like, "We have something to tell you." They then proceed to tell me the story about how all the crazy door bashing and rock throwing was them, trying to freak us out and that when it was obvious we wouldn't open the window or door, they gave up and had walked back to their car, literally missing the cops by a minute. They apologize as much as they can and then leave.
I tell the guy the truth, he still stays with me the whole morning. We took a shower together and went out for brunch and he drove me to work.
Weirdest, most awesome, worst, and best first date all rolled into one.
I Guess It's Official?
I met a guy at a crappy Karaoke place in town where some friends were hanging out. Some of them invited us to watch Inception at their apartment. We ended up alone on the same couch , and were making jokes at each other, laughing and stuff. He added me on Facebook and we started talking and hanging out at events with other friends, but it wasn't all that regular. Then one day I show up at school (we both went to the same community college) and walk into the cafeteria. He sees me, gets up and says, "Come on, I'm taking you to lunch." Before I even have a chance to sit down. I confusedly follow him out the cafeteria door, and he stops and says, "Oh, and we're going out." Then he holds his hand out for me. We go to Carl's Jr. and get some food, and it was a bit awkward, and then I had to go to class. We've been married 6 months.
Euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide refer to, as defined by Medical News Today, as the "deliberate action taken with the intention of ending a life, in order to relieve persistent suffering." It's a controversial topic. As of 2021, active human euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Colombia, Luxembourg, Canada, and Spain. Assisted suicide is legal in Switzerland, Germany, the Australian states of Victoria Northern Territory, and Western Australia.
But this issue has many passionate supporters who often know what it's like to care for someone who would have benefited from the practice. They told their stories after Redditor Random2328 asked the online community,
"What are your thoughts on medically assisted death?"
"She was able to go to a place in Switzerland..."
"My grandma was 89 and wasn't dying of anything in particular—she didn't have cancer or dementia or anything—but her memory was slowly failing and her body was generally falling apart from old age and a leg injury from fifty years prior. She had been a widow for fourteen years. She was lonely and in pain all the time and her family lived across the ocean so we couldn't see her as much as we'd want to.
There was nothing actively killing her, but she did NOT want to be alive anymore. She wasn't depressed, just old and in pain and ready to be done.
She was able to go to a place in Switzerland, with all four of her children, and take a pill to end her life while her children sang to her and she looked out at the mountains.
We all got to say goodbye to her and she got to be completely in control of the end of her life. I can only hope that if I am ever in that situation, then the world will be kind enough to let me close my own exit as beautifully and peacefully as my grandma did."
Your grandmother sounds like she was truly blessed. Being able to make that choice––and still have time with her family––no doubt meant the world to her.
"I don't know if I'd have the courage..."
"I just went through this with a good friend in Canada. He had glioblastoma and was given 3-6 months to live. Ultimately he lived for 15 months, but he wanted to be sure he could end his life when things got bad for him, so he made the necessary preparations. I'd long known he'd made these plans. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. But as I was caring for him for the last six weeks of his life I got to witness the process firsthand.
Long story a bit shorter: Towards the end, my friend could no longer walk or speak. He could understand everything you said to him, but he couldn't find the words to reply intelligently. In his frustration, he made it clear that he was ready. So we explicitly asked him if he was ready to die. He said yes.
The next day two nurses came to his home. They talked to him and confirmed that he wanted to end his life. So, while sitting in his favorite recliner, they put in an IV. His immediate family and I sat with him. The nurses administered medication that made him fall asleep. Then they administered a second medication that stopped his breathing. In less than 5 minutes he was gone.
I don't know if I'd have the courage to make the decision my friend did, but I didn't experience his suffering. Being present for him as he ended his life has convinced me that having the option to end your life on your own terms is the absolute right thing to do. There's no reason someone should have to continue to suffer when they know all they have to look forward to is more suffering. I'm very grateful that my friend had the option available to him. Had he been in my state in the U.S. that wouldn't have been possible. But it should be."
"She made the decision to have the procedure done..."
"My grandmother passed away last week with a medically assisted death.
She had cancer that had spread to her brain, and was given a few weeks to a few months to live. From what family members said, she was deteriorating fast.
She made the decision to have the procedure done as she wanted to end her time here with dignity. The appointment was made, doctors consulted, and paperwork drawn up. 10 days later two medical professionals came by her house where she was spending time with her children. It was done quickly and comfortably.
Nana left peacefully on her own accord, in the comfort of her own home, and while she was still more or less herself. It was very strange to have a time and a date looming, but it also allowed me to set aside that time to be alone and hold a small vigil of my own (I'm currently in another country, and couldn't get back)
She lived in Canada, where this service has recently been made more accessible, and I'm all for it. If it helped my Nana, it could help so many others."
It sounds like your Nana was able to have peace––and so do you.
"It should be a right..."
"It should be a right for every human to choose when terminal. We euthanize our pets but not our loved ones. We allow our loved ones to suffer miserably at the end of life. I was a hospice nurse and saw the suffering first hand. It is inhumane to allow that."
Why do we allow it for pets and not for humans? What makes an animal's life worth more than a human's? Shouldn't they both be held in equal regard?
"I have a degenerative brain disease..."
"I have a degenerative brain disease and would very much like to die with some dignity left, so I'm all for it."
No doubt. We're sorry to hear about your struggle.
"I longed for there to be a legal way..."
"We let people die in fear and pain, but not animals. The last 6 months of my mum's life were exactly how she didn't want to live - confused, incontinent, immobile. I longed for there to be a legal way to end her suffering. She made it very clear to me during her life that this was not the way she wanted to go. I'm an RN and should make it clear I've never assisted in ending anyone's life, but I've wanted to. Medically assisted death doesn't mean more death, just less suffering."
"As someone who has..."
"As someone who has stage 4 cancer, I am in favor of having the right to die gracefully."
"If it's good enough..."
"If it's good enough for my dog then it's good enough for me."
It's truly as simple as that. We'd be doing so many human beings a favor.
"If you're not legally allowed..."
"If you're not allowed to legally arrange the end of your own life, is it actually your own life?"
"It was such a blessing..."
"My grandpa had a medically assisted death in 2019. It was such a blessing to my family as we were able to say goodbye, and knew how much time we had left.
Also it was relief from great pain for him, and I'm so glad he was able to make that choice peacefully.
Will forever advocate for it."
It's truly shocking that euthanasia is illegal in many countries––and that it can even carry a jail sentence. It is a complicated issue that polarizes many people from different walks of life.
Where do you stand on this issue? Feel free to tell us in the comments below!
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Privilege is discussed quite a bit these days, and for good reason. So many people are able to live life longer, more peacefully, and freely than others thanks to factors they had no control over.
And yet, there is an element of popularity among the privileges discussed. People acknowledge their race, class, gender identity, sexual orientation, and citizenship status a lot.
That makes sense. Those are massively significant social realities that we need to grapple with constantly.
But there are some other privileges that we don't always think about. There are some things even more basic that not everybody gets to enjoy.
Observing them can make us all feel a bit more grateful.
Redditor Mburns15 asked:
"What is something most people don't realize is a privilege?"
Many called attention to the fact that the physical ability to interact with a majority of public infrastructure isn't a sure thing.
Always Calling Ahead
"Spontaneity in your daily plans. If you're a wheelchair user that's virtually impossible."
"So few places have accessible restrooms, some public transport needs contact 24 hours in advance in order to accommodate you, the list goes on."
"I envy people who can just go with the flow."
"Being able-bodied. So many people are one accident away from being unemployed and don't realize that. Your job will ruin your body - be aware and fight it."
A Silent Struggle
"Not having chronic pain" -- Aggravating_Okra_00
"Having energy to do what you want with your life. Trying to explain to people how exhausting and draining chronic pain can be. Having to explain the concept of energy budgets to people - sure I could come out and do $funthing with you, but then I wouldn't have the energy to cook and clean the house and would be useless at work tomorrow." -- Fraerie
Others chose to point out the very basic necessities that are far from ensured across the world.
To Be Comfortable
"Feeling safe in your own home. Not worrying about rats, mice, roaches, bed bugs, bricks being thrown through windows, violence outside, break ins."
"Privacy. I don't mean digital privacy, I mean a room with solid walls and a door that closes. Lots of people don't have that."
"Having access to water and a sewage system. Also the abundance of food in western super markets is quite frankly insane. Every day I try and spend a moment to reflect on how lucky I am."
"Sanitary products for women! It's different in different parts of the world + economic backgrounds"
And finally, a few people from countries around the world discussed the unique, intense struggles of living in a place that isn't embedded in the affluence of the Western world.
"Going about your daily life without seriously worrying about your physical safety. Sleeping at night without worrying about whether a bomb is going to come through your roof."
Not a Given
"Having the ability to express an opinion. Free speech is very censored in a lot of the world." -- BananaLCG
"Criticizing your own government." -- ipf000
The Ability to Think About Other Things
"Living in a good country, not having to spend your youth worrying about how to immigrate to good countries."
But before you think of this list as a big long guilt trip, imagine a more positive spin on this. There are so many things to feel grateful for, even when it seems like everything is working against you.
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The law is a fickle mistress, and it varies from state to state and county to county sometimes. And then there is the blatant hypocrisy of it all.
There are some things that feel like they should be allowed to pass but you get scolded for, like jaywalking, and then there are things like actual robbery in broad daylight, like telemarketers and nothing happens to them.
Make it make sense. It's like taxes, the wealthy know loopholes and the poor go to jail. Shameful.
Redditor u/Xanduh wanted everyone to chat about legal life fails by asking:
What do you wish was illegal?
I try my best to follow the law. And Lord knows how well I'm doing. There are so many obscure laws for ridiculous things, yet, scamming people of their life savings is a free pass. I'm confused... apparently, so are many others...
Save a Lifedrag race drugs GIFGiphy
"Hiking up prices of life saving medications. (Insulin, epi-pens, etc.)".
The Hands of Time
"Advertisement like "anti-aging" is absolutely preposterous."
"I would love to see a massive class action lawsuit against any skincare that proposes "anti-aging". Watch a judge rule in the plaintiff's favor citing that the products did not actually turn back time."
"Your credit score goes down because you cancelled a credit card."
"You want to have multiple lines of credit that you're responsible with, preferably for a long period of time, because it proves you're a reliable borrower. If you have no debt, it's almost like you've not established credit at all. Your score goes up the more lines of credit you have. It's bonkers. Someone more financially literate than me could probably explain better, though."
The DevilKate Mckinnon Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"Hi, I'm X. We're trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty."
I'm at the end of my tether with these car warranty calls. I swear to God... nevermind. And advertisements needs to be more regulated. That is a start at better fixing justice.
Extra $$$Happy Credit Card GIF by HollyoaksGiphy
"Convenience fees for online ticket purchases. Why am I getting charged for saving on paper, ink, and everyone's time?"
"Companies making it really difficult to cancel things. Especially subscriptions. I think the process to subscribe to something to should be exactly the same as the process to cancel it. I'm looking at you spotify."
"Gyms in general. before they started popping up everywhere I was a member at LA fitness."
"Well I moved 2hrs away from the closest one and they wanted me to come in person to cancel, then they wanted me to send in a damn letter. I can signup online, why can't I cancel online?"
No muss, no fuss.
"Printer ink being ridiculously expensive for no reason."
"Buy a laser printer. Here's my oft-told tale of woe: School got out so my kids no longer had homework to print. A month or so later we needed to print a document. Our Kodak injket printer not only refused to print but said we needed to buy a new ($90) print head because the old one had gummed up, because we'd gone too long without printing."
"I went to the local office supply store and bought a Brother laser printer. It scans, it copies, it uses wifi, and most importantly it just works.About twice a year when we need to print something I go and get it out of my garage and bring it into the house, set it on the kitchen counter, plug it in, and print to it."
"It works great - even remembers my wifi settings (SSID and password) from the previous time. No muss, no fuss. If I really want to print something in color I'll use Kinkos. Turns out I literally never need to print in color."
"Using children to monetize your social media channels."
Bot ThievesTheatre GIF by StubHubGiphy
"Bots buying tickets and up-charging the crap out of the price."
Those ticket thieves need to be taken down. No Broadway show is worth $1000! Don't fall for it kids. That mess needs to be cleaned up. There is actual crime happening to the naked eye. Let's focus there.
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While the world is a dark and scary place, there would not be a world, or a human race, without inherent kindness.
Kindness always gives you a little thump to your heart that nothing else can truly provide. A rush of knowing you've made someone's day better. And you may change the trajectory of that person's life because of it.
To hear more of these kindnesses, for inspiration, Redditor slizsarbleh asked:
"What is something you've done purely out of the goodness of your heart, but have never told anyone?"
Here were some of those stories.
One Grieving Heart To Another
"I lost my mom earlier this year and am still working through the grief. The first week a came back my coworkers had gave me a check for several hundred dollars as a kind gesture. I was truly overwhelmed by the generosity."
"The following week I came into the break room to find one of the techs with a lost look on her face. She had just gotten a phone call that her brother had been murdered the night before."
"She had moved to our city just a year prior and didn't have any family close by. As I held her and listened to her cry, I booked her a flight home."
"It was several hundred dollars as she is from a small town and the flight was for later that day. I told her to go be with family and let me know when she was ready to come back. I had no doubt that is exactly what my mom would have wanted me to do."-thatgirlmocha
Taking It For The Team
"I was extremely stressed and took a mental health day, planning on going to mom's and crying myself to sleep. We ended up going to the mall, and even though money was really tight for her, she wanted to buy me lunch (we split the bill)."
"She realized that she lost a newer $50 bill while walking around. She was devastated."
"I traded my smaller bills to a cashier for a newer $50, folded it like she would, and tossed it under the seat of her car. The next day she called me, almost crying because she was excited to find it and said that without it, groceries would've been pretty tight that week."
"Taking me out that day prevented me from having a full breakdown. I think $50 was a small price to pay for what she did for me that day."-SleepsLikeACat
Services For The Poor
"I do IT work, usually small business and a lot of home repair. I have many wealthy clients and a few not so fortunate. It is not unusual for me to go to a home and it is obvious they are barely scraping by."
"So I either don't charge those people, or make it a nominal fee. I also refurb the old PC's and give them to people who have one that is not repairable."
"My best fee ever was a basket of home grown creole tomatoes, damn those things are delicious."-Disposable70
It really does cost nothing to be kind.
Just A Game, But More Than Just A Game
"This isn't as impressive as the comments I've read but this is just something I did recently."
"I'm a member of a Sims group on FB where people talk about the game, expansion packs etc. I noticed a comment by a teenager who said her favourite pack would be Pets but she can't afford it."
"I went onto her page and saw that she really loved horses. I could also tell from her pictures that her mum was disabled and money looked tight."
"I was fortunate enough when I was her age to always get the packs on the release dates and I used The Sims as a wind down from revising and school."
"I thought that this girl needed the escapism way more than I ever did so I bought every expansion pack, messaged her the activation codes, a link to a YouTube video on how to use them, and a short message saying I hope you enjoy playing and to keep smiling."
"I really do wish her the very best."-MariaOSullivan
Saving And Changing Lives
"Bought insulin for the child of a lady in front of me at the pharmacy. The woman (single mom) was in tears & didn't have the $200 copay for that month."
"I gave her my number & told her to call me within the next few days. That was a few years ago. She now manages the office at my practice, makes enough $ for anything she needs/wants, & is one of my closest friends."
"And now she has excellent insurance for herself & her son! Be kind—it can literally change lives! <3"-EJX713
A Simple Blanket
"There's a semi-secluded bus stop beside a store I used to work at, and a homeless guy started sleeping there on the bench halfway between the stop and the parking lot one winter."
"One day I got to work 15 mins early and saw him sleeping, wearing just a flannel and jeans. So I ram into the store, bought a blanket, and covered him up with it."
"He never woke up so he didn't know it was me. Every time I saw him sitting on the bench he had the blanket wrapped around him."-SeleneSlayer
Even In The Face Of A Feud
"I have an ongoing silent feud with one branch of my family (my dad's cousins and their kids, my second cousins), and we haven't spoken or really seen each other in over 10 years."
"I've pretty much written them off, and I don't really care if we live out the rest of our lives without patching things up."
"Two months ago, one of my cousins from that branch unexpectedly died at the age of 38. Their immediate family had always had financial troubles."
"So while I didn't fly across the country to attend the funeral, I quietly sent my sister a bunch of money and instructed her to pretend it was hers and pay off part of their funeral expenses."
"And then just last week, some of my other relatives started a GoFundMe for one of my aunts in that branch (she's my dad's oldest cousin)."
"She has Stage IV cervical cancer and wants to leave the hospital to pass away at home surrounded by her loved ones, but the hospital won't release her until her medical bills are paid in full (this is in another country)."
"I haven't told my dad or anyone else in the family, but I anonymously donated my last paycheck plus the money I had been saving for my upcoming birthday trip."
"I don't really consider it out of the goodness of my heart, though. It's just that the thought of an elderly, terminally ill person dying alone somewhere that isn't home eats away at me so much that I physically couldn't sit by and do nothing."-OrifielM
And these gestures are the kind where the kindness is its own reward.
To Instill Hope
"A lady was fleeing an abusive marriage without much more than her kids and the clothes on her back. Word went out within a whisper network requesting a few essentials she needed."
"Packed up several things from the request list and also one thing that wasn't requested. I make jewelry as a hobby. Put a pair of handmade earrings into a gift bag: silver and pearls."
"Added a handwritten note that every woman deserves something beautiful and sending good wishes her way."-doublestitch
"At the beginning of the pandemic, I was volunteering at a local pizza shop to distribute slices to kids who otherwise couldn't get fed because the schools were shutdown."
"There was a woman with 3 kids that came by every few days to get slices. Turns out the father had died unexpectedly right before the pandemic started and they lost their house because of the slumlord they were renting from."
"The mother lost her job because she had no one to watch the kids. They were living in their minivan and things were bad for them."
"They were so nice and grateful, but ashamed when they'd come by to get slices that I genuinely felt for them. I had lost my job and got a pretty decent windfall of 2 months worth of unemployment and the CARES Act at once."
"My landlord had a few properties open and is a close friend, so I got in touch with him and we worked out me paying their security deposit and the first 2 months of rent and he'd cover their utilities."
"I gave her his number and said he might be able to help and they moved in the next day. They've been there ever since and are doing extremely well now."-eyexxiii
A Little Birthday Surprise
"I was in my art class in high school and there was a girl who I didn't really know a few grades younger. I could tell she didn't have many friends but was really sweet."
"She was talking to me one day and told me her birthday was soon and that she was so excited. I decided to send her those balloons and whatnot you can get through the student store on her birthday, though she didn't know me very well so I didn't sign my name."
"It just so happened that the student store worker brought them in during our art class and I got to see her reaction. She lit up and kept telling us it had to have been her mom or her best friend who did it, and how she couldn't believe that someone got her something and she wouldn't stop smiling the whole rest of class."
"I never told her it was me, I was just happy she felt special. That was a pretty good day."-Rbbbb30
Humans, above all else, have the capacity to be unendingly kind. Despite all the darkness in the world, it is these little moments of light that define us as a species.
Hopefully this has given you some faith in humans today.