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Look, people are dummies.

Now the internet can't be held completely responsible. It's easy to be misunderstood in 280 characters or a missed typo in your Facebook post, but sometimes the evidence is so overwhelmingly obvious the person you've been talking to is a big, ol' dum-dum.

Most of the times this happens in retail.


Reddit user, u/bost724, wanted to know:

What was your "This person is on another level of stupid" moment?

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE

Giphy

I used to work with a girl who was sweet but so dumb. We were in a meeting once and somehow someone mentioned baked ham. My manager said "Ugh I hate ham. It looks like human flesh."

The girl I mentioned was sitting next to me and looked horrified and whispered "Does ham really come from people?"

Ally862

When Your Motivational Math Is Off

My husband overheard this conversation by his two coworkers that sat next to him one day.

Woman #1 - I just feel like a complete loser. A total zero.

Woman #2 - Honey! I don't ever want you to feel like a zero. I want you to take that zero and I want you to times it by a million! Can you do that for me!!?

Woman #1 - yeah! I can do that. Thanks!

Took everything in my husband to keep a straight face.

AmyS14893

I Guess If You've Only Ever Heard The Word...

Went to a Catholic high school. In our morality class, we had to give presentations on different controversial topics like abortion, etc. Our teacher told us about one group of students she had a few years prior whose topic they were assigned was "euthanasia." They ended up giving an entire presentation on "youth in Asia."

(They didn't do it as a joke either - they genuinely thought that was the topic).

asking_4_a_fr1end

One Deity To Rule Them All

I am Lebanese and I know Arabic. Some people ask if I believe in God or Allah. I always pause thinking of a way to respond seeing as they are the same.

Allah just means god in [Arabic.]

WholesomeLebanese

The Jumps You Would Have To Make To Get To That Question...

Went to a high school that had a lot of kids that grew up on farms. As a fundraiser the Future Farmers of America club was having a Rocky Mountain oyster bake. One girl asked what that was and we told her cow testicles.

She then proceeded to ask how did those cows get in the ocean though.

whitepplloveranch

You Know That's What A Website Is For, Right?

I had a boss who asked me to print out our company website so she could read it.

Malterre

Retail Truly Reveals The Worst Of Humanity

This was my first experience in retail where I learned what many customers would be like.

Seasons were changing, so we put a lot of shirts we had to get rid of in the front and made them 50% off. I was working the register when a woman came up to buy her things. I rang her up and could see a look on her face like something was wrong. That's when the following happened.

Lady: "Why is this so much."

Me: "Pardon me?"

Lady: "This should only be $10 not $20."

I thought that maybe her item was on sale, so I asked if she could point out the sign because I wasn't aware of it. It was a small store and we didn't have to walk anywhere.

Lady: "This sign here."

Me: "This sign says that all shirts are 50% off."

Lady: "Yes, so why is this full price."

Me: "This is a hat."

AstaticDynamic

When The Advertising Is Almost TOO Good

I was friends with with a guy who believed those fake apple adverts like "Apple Wave - Microwave your phone for instant battery charge" I was so dumbfounded that he actually fell for it. When I saw him the week after and he had a new phone it all clicked for me

TheChosenOne118

The Air Doesn't Travel DOWN, Stupid.

Rescued a coworker on the side of the road with a flat tire, waiting for the tow truck, I pointed out the nail at the top of their tire. They scoffed and looked at me like I was the stupidest person in the world and exclaimed

that's not true bc it's flat at the bottom

I just walked away and never brought it up again

AliCracker

C'mon, Cousin It, Think About It For One Second...

I had to explain to a girl why you couldnt grow your hair down in front of your face and just cut out eye holes. Even explaining it her she couldnt grasp it and brushed me off as being "too smart."

Beef_Jumps

Wait For It...

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I worked at a pet store in college. This customer asked me which food would make his pit bull "swole." I suggested a high protein food with a good amount of exercise but advised that a lot of it was determined by the dog's genetics.

He asked me if we sold genetics.

kolbyrdenham

If We Burn Down All The Rainforests...

We were in a class in middle school talking about rainforests and ways to prevent fires. One student said we should cut down the entire rainforest to stop fires from spreading and he 100% believed it was a good idea.

dubbs4president

That, Uh, Ah, No...

I've heard several people asking: How many Alaskan dollars is a US dollar worth?

Let's Count All Our Body Parts, Shall We?

I worked at a restaurant and we had a dish that was just a whole grilled chicken, chopped into pieces. A woman who ordered for delivery called us, absolutely scathing, complaining that her order of one whole chicken only contained TWO chicken breasts. Had to explain to grown a-- woman that chicken only have two breasts.

Edit: To clarify, the rest of the chicken was also there. She was just expecting more than two chicken breasts. She stated this clearly to both me and my manager, who she insisted she speak to over this inconvenience.

eeveion

Do You Need To Look Up What Cancelled Means?

Ex flatmate cancelled the gas and electricity contract because it was too expensive. Wondered why we had no more electricity nor gas.

She thought we paid 90€ a month to get a hotline 24/7 in case of problem.

saoirse_eli

They Must Be-Oh, They Weren't?

I got a concussion a while back. A friend of mine told me not to come close because it might be contagious.

They weren't kidding.

dwight12345

Ketchup. Catsup. Ketchup. Catsup.

I once worked in a midwestern grocery store deli and I was trying to explain to a woman that the name brand and generic brand of the macaroni salad that we carried were in fact identical. The woman yelled at me saying she could only have the generic brand because "one is made with mayo and the other is made with mayonnaise and I don't like mayo". When I tried to explain that mayo is an abbreviation of mayonnaise, she just said "I'm from the south, I know my food" and tutted away.

lauraligator

You Might Have Made A Stupid Move, But They Sound Just Plain DUMB

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I locked my purse with my keys and cell phone in my apartment. I went to the office to ask maintenance to let me in. The woman at the desk said she would call maintenance and asked for a phone number they could reach me at. I said there wasn't one because my cell phone was locked in my apartment. She insisted she needed a number. I said I could give her the number but that I wouldn't be able to answer if they called. She suggested I get my phone out of my apartment so that I could answer when they called. I rolled my eyes at her and said if I could get in my apartment to get my cell phone I wouldn't need maintenance to let me in. She never did understand me. But maintenance did show up ten minutes later.

Update - since a lot of people are asking... You don't need a key to lock the door to the apartment, just to unlock it. On the way out the door, I turned the lock on the back of the doorknob and then pulled the door shut, locking the door. I had put my keys in my purse because I was also carrying a laptop bag and a few other things. I thought I picked up my purse with the other bags but I hadn't.

Yes, I know I was stupid for locking myself out.

Suzanne_Marie

A Truly Stupid, Heinous Act

Just now, about 30 minutes ago I learned that people in my workplace (it's a ND Paper Mill in Maine,) -are taking extras of the face masks that are provided by the company. -They aren't wearing them or using them, or even taking them for their families, they're taking them and throwing them out, on the grounds that if they get rid of them faster, then they won't have to wear them for as long.

That's right, while first responders and healthcare workers are dying, sometimes because they can't get the appropriate supplies, these a--holes are just taking face masks and throwing them out. It even got to the point, where a few employees rushed the temperature taking room, stole as many whole boxes of masks that they could carry, (50 masks per box,) and made a point of dumping them in the trash, in front of the person taking temperatures that day.

Because obviously we would never be able to....I don't know, order more?

I'm really disgusted by this. Aside from the blatant waste of resources, the bull-headed, close-minded idiocy is just unnecessary.

These are the same people who complain when the person taking temperatures takes off their face mask when there's no-one seeking access to the mill. Literally heard one of these people say that it wasn't right that the temperature taking person wasn't keeping the mill people safe.

I just really want to stress that these actions don't represent ALL of the employees at the mill, quite a lot of them are willingly/gladly in compliance with the face mask policy, it's just a select group of really special idiots being disrespectful and childish.

Belasrose

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Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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