I could never be a therapist. That is why I'm so in awe of them.
I don't know how one person takes on so much emotionally in order to help others.
They are only human. So I often wonder... what breaks them?
How do they compose themselves?
How do they take a breather without compromising the client?
Because you know they need a break... or six.
Redditor falnergamingwanted to hear from all the mental health professionals out there. They need time to vent as well.
So they were asked:
"Therapists of reddit what was your "I need a minute" moment?"
My therapists have held together successfully.
I wonder if I'm dull.
Hmmm...
Too Much
"I am not a therapist, but I was in a therapy program years ago, and we got a new patient. Within the span of a week, her mother died of cancer, and her house caught on fire and her dad and sister died in the accident. The sister died slipping from the girl’s hands and falling into flames. I felt so bad for her and I couldn’t comprehend it at first." ~ EmiEvans
Giphydidn't see that one coming...
"More of a funny story but I arrived at a client's house for a session (I was doing in home therapy for adolescents at the time) with a 13 year old kid. He was a little late getting home from school so he wasn't there yet. His mother has me sit down to wait for him and says that while he's not home she wanted to ask me something. I'm assuming it's about her son since that's why I'm there. She proceeds to ask me why I think her boyfriend won't perform oral sex on her and if I have any suggestions to change that. Really didn't see that one coming." ~ freechurro824
"go to the back room"
"First internship on my path to counselor and I was working in funeral home under the grief counselor there (grief and trauma is my focus).We were taught to be strong and supportive to those grieving of course and if we needed to cry, go in the back or to the bathroom."
"I escorted an elderly lady to view her husband before the service. I helped sit her in the chair in front of the casket and was standing behind her when she stood up and laid on the casket, bawling her eyes out declaring how much she loved him, missed him, and begging him not to leave her, come back.That totally destroyed me. I immediately started crying behind her."
"She stood up and i sucked it up to help her walk back into the hall to start greeting guest. I thought I had did a good job collecting myself, but my mentor took one look at me and softly said, 'go to the back room,' which I did. I completely lost it for a few minutes, cleaned up and went back to help with the service. I definitely needed that minute." ~ Tacomapenguin81
Stepping Out
"When I was a kid I went to therapy, I asked my therapist if she felt like I deserved what happened to me. She stepped out of the room, came back in a few minutes later clearly having had cried. She then said, no, you did not deserve it. I’ll never forget it. I felt terribly sorry for upsetting her. But now I better understand. I hope she is well." ~ Throwaway18077
This is a WHOLE lot of heavy. How do they do it?
20 Minutes Later...
"Once had a client with a child who did nothing but scream at the parent for about 20-30 minutes straight. As soon as they left, I cried for 20 minutes due to how emotionally charged the words/accusations. I tried to defuse it at times, but it continued to rebound quickly." ~ Ryyah61577
Poor Girl
"The time I had to clean a bloody bathroom scene where an incredibly disturbed girl had self harmed herself throughout our rec complex. A local grade 4 class from a neighbouring school used our pool so it had to get cleaned that night. I needed a freakin' month actually." ~ remberly
so. much. trauma.
"Therapist here. I specialize in working with first responders and medical professionals (nurses, physicians, etc). The child death cases are always hard for me. I am an expert at keeping a good poker face during those sessions but daaaamn if there aren’t days I’ve gone home and just held my kids and cried with gratitude that it wasn’t them. First responders experience so. much. trauma." ~ the-mulchiest-mulch
'the new people are coming'
"It's my work with kids that has always affected me most. Had one kid that was in foster care and had been pushed from house to house. He had apparently had a very rough upbringing before that. He was very quiet and didn't talk much. We always gave every child a box that they could decorate and fill with things they made in sessions. At the end of their sessions they could then take it home if they wanted to."
What did this kid do when I first gave him his box? He started making it into a house. Gave it a door, windows, a roof etc. and then wrote a message to his mum (who he couldn't see anymore) on the side to say that he loved her. In the sessions he spent the majority of the time playing with the doll house where it always went the same way.
"He arranged all the furniture and people perfectly. He was very specific about what went where and what people had which rooms. And then he would destroy it all. Saying that 'the new people are coming.' I have a lot of stories but remembering his pain and his simple desire for a home always breaks my heart." ~ Vaytato
Evil
"Not a therapist, but I’m a first year school counselor. I’ve listened to a lot of heavy stuff, but probably one of the worst was a 4th grade boy telling me about how his shithead dad beat the crap out of him and his younger siblings and poured hot sauce in their mouths. I kept it together in front of the child but wept in the car on my way home. Sometimes it’s impossible to fathom how monstrous and evil some people can be." ~ emshlaf
How was your day?
"My wife friends are a couple of therapists - he works at the prison ward, she works in emergency (handling cases such as somebody trying to kill their family during an episode and she helps to negotiate with the person and defuse the situation). I once made a mistake to ask how their day at work was and it was all like this thread but in one week. Suddenly my job doesn’t sound as bad anymore." ~ gregtheomniscient
turning 30...
"I worked as a therapist at a substance use agency before going into private practice. One of my biggest 'I need a moment' times happened there. I was working with a young individual (and I myself was around their age) who was addicted to meth. They were bright, intelligent, and deeply empathetic to the world but so so sick."
"Had to have not just one open heart surgeries due to cardiomyopathy, but two. Prior to ever turning 30. Just kept relapsing despite trying so hard. This client never missed treatment. Didn’t show for an appointment so I called. Didn’t answer. They called back and asked to speak to me. I will never forget the voice when I answered. They were so broken."
"They had just relapsed before calling and injected meth into their PICC line that was treating another heart infection. They were so afraid and disappointed. I remember thinking that their addiction was going to kill them and it weighed so heavily on me. I will never forget this client. After that call I sat there awash in the realization that my client would likely die from this and they were my age."
"Addiction can turn people all out of character but they were so sweet and kind. Would give you the shirt off their back. I truly believe they were just too kind for this harsh world. BUT: This was awhile ago. Client went to a higher level of care and I found out over a year later they were sober and doing well and had moved states. I remember crying when I found out they made it all that time later."
deane_ec4
But to no avail...
"Not a therapist but volunteered on a suicide hotline for a number of years. Took a call from a young woman who was hysterical on the phone, was difficult to make out what she was saying amongst her sobs but I could make out she was outside."
"I asked her where she was and she replied that she was on the top floor of a multi-storey car park and was contemplating jumping off. I talked with her, tried to calm her (meanwhile I was shaking like a leaf). But to no avail. She jumped and the line went dead. It was in the local paper not soon after and it’s stayed with me for years."
daisydream-
Hurt
"Had a (adult) client whose evil dad would buy them a pet (they were a kid when this happened), and then proceed to torture the animal in front of them or would set it free in the middle of a field just to hurt them."
AccidentalClock
"bathroom break"
"I'm no longer in mental health but I was a mental health professional in a big city jail for years. I had a few moments where I needed to take an extended 'bathroom break' to compose myself (breaks were not allowed outside of lunch). I had one person admit to attacking his very small children."
"He had another confess to a brutal murder (every greystone detail) with a straight face, another who would routinely dig up his mother's grave to put her in different clothes, and one who murdered his abuser. That job was nuts and made me realize how you never really know anyone or why they do anything. I was so burnt out I left the field altogether. It sucks because i know that's my calling but I'm too old to go back to school for a master's now."
Scrappie1188
Blades
"I had a client bring in a blade, pulled it out, and talked about thoughts to harm self. Asked for the weapon, called receptionist, and made arrangements for client to be hospitalized. Spazzed out after the client was en route to nearby ED."
BelleViking
"Thank you for your courageous work and sacrifice. That must have been so difficult to experience."
Yusi-D-Jordan
hard to forget...
"I’m a psychiatrist. The hardest one for me was a young woman who was sex trafficked when she was 16. She was essentially forced to take heroin until she was addicted and then forced into prostitution. I didn’t actually leave the room when she told me the story, but it was hard to forget."
"The only times I actually had to leave the room was when I was doing inpatient work and I was seeing floridly manic patients who were saying things that were, quite frankly, hilarious and I started laughing."
Geri-psychiatrist-RI
"examinations"
"I had a patient who was psychotic and believed their ex-spouse had been molesting their child. This person went into graphic detail of examining the child's rectum for signs of abuse despite my attempts to get them to stop. I had to go to the door to my office and tell them they had to leave or I was going to call security."
Crisis...
"For the record, I never asked them about this, either, despite being aware of it from their crisis evaluation. I'm an activity therapist and my assessment with patients is all about their lifestyle and activity. I was asking them about chores, housework, etc and their basic routine and this was apparently something they did multiple times a day."
Even_Tell_7011
"DCF removed the child from their care. The patient eventually cleared from their psychosis (which was substance induced by mixing Adderall and alcohol) and recanted on their belief their spouse was molesting their child, but denied the 'examinations' ever happened."
maybe_little_pinch
On Air
"Not a therapist but my first night on air as a talk show host I got a call from a frantic woman. She told me she had just found her brother hanging in the garage and didn't know what to do. I organised police and ambulance to her address and kept her on the phone until they got there, it was so sad. Had people ask me later if I had arranged her to call to get ratings!! Would never pull crap like that. It left me a bit shaky for a while after as have lost several people to suicide."
GrooveGran
The Ex
"Listened to a woman explaining how her ex is abusing her son who had custody and she cannot do anything about it. My heart was breaking for her, she was working hard to get him back, but because she left without her son, he had automatic rights to the child (the way the kid end up with the dad was by fluke not planned in her escape). The guilt she was facing was excruciating to watch unfold."
"She now finally has custody and her son and they are both is thriving. I like to think mom and son made sacrifices to live a better life. Happy ending, but at the time, it was just killing me personally not to get involved. I could only advice and guide her how to cope and remain firm."
DisastrousGarage9052
PTSD
"I once made my therapist cry. She always knew that I was diagnosed with PTSD from years of physical abuse but when I finally opened up about this particular nightmare, she cried all while listening to me. I felt guilty and changed therapists after that."
Even_Tell_7011
Well that was a lot to process, and I didn't live it. I need more than a minute.
Mental health is important. So be kind to yourself and others.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.