I really hope that educators keep journals. The stories that are woven for them on the daily about why students are tardy or why assignments are late have got to be epic. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and what a mind some of us have when trying to cover our tracks. If only we could apply our creative know how to completing work and not avoiding it.... especially when we're younger. Teachers have got to have a "best of" compilation for student excuses.
Redditor u/imtroppocool wanted teachers to share with us some tales about when they believed students were trying to bamboozle them, when in fact bamboozling may not have been occurring, by asking.... Teachers of reddit, what was the best excuse for being late that turned out to be true?
Had a student ask to leave class once the test was finished because his lung had collapsed a couple days earlier and he was still recovering. He then pulled up his shirt to show me the valve they had inserted.
I told him he didn't have to take the test, but he had already studied for it and wanted to get it over with.
I also had a student ask to leave after the test because her husband had died the previous day and she had to make arrangements. Insisted on taking the test.
My students are hard-core.
Just This Time.
Student at Uni. Was late for an 8am because the night before I slept in the hallway of one of our class buildings doing homework... (we had sofas and desks around there so it was a nice and quiet place to study, also open 24/7).
Woke up around 8:30 and ran to my class which was one floor above the one I was.
The professor excused me and told me I could skip his class because they saw me sleeping there and said something on the lines of "at least you were doing your assignments so I'll let you go this time."
I was a teacher (college) but my students were mostly good. Oddest excuse was someone was late to lab and normally if you missed the opening slides/presentation detailing today's experiment you could not take the class that day. This was as much a safety concern as anything else. Once a student burst into the room just as I was finishing the slides so they were technically okay.
When prompted for a reason they said they had lost track of time squirrel fishing. Considering they still had the stick, string, and nuts in hand I let them go.
Squirrel fishing is common on our campus as a form of stress relief; I have done it a few times as well. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_fishing
IKEA All the Way....
Not me but my program coordinator told the story at orientation. Girl was a really good student. Always on time, studies like crazy, good grades. Overall close to perfect student. Pass or fail exam comes and she's a no show. They call her, text her, email her.
3 hours after the exam starts she walks in with an IKEA catalogue and the name and phone number of the manager written on it. She had been stuck inside of a broken down elevator at IKEA. She had no cell service in the elevator, so she couldn't call and explain. They let her start the exam in a separate room.
I have two.
- A soldier in an online class, he apologized for being late for turning in a paper. His reason, he was in a firefight the previous night. That was excused promptly.
- A student turned in a paper that was singed around the edges. His claim was he and his girl were getting romantic, and a candle lit his drapes on fire and I guess he pretty much burned his whole side of the house down. Verified the story with news that night. SquareDetective
A Few Tales....
Two different students in the same class.
A girl who came to school at lunchtime told me that she had spent the night at her grandparents in another city, and they woke up early in the morning as the house was ablaze.
Yup, could confirm her story online.
The house wasn't too badly damaged and everyone was OK, thankfully.
A guy who the week prior blamed a dryer for his tardiness, claimed that he only had one pair of pants. When he woke up in the morning his pants was wet, and he couldn't walk around with a soggy bottom, so he threw the pants in the dryer and waltzed off to do other stuff.
An hour later he took the pants out of the dryer, only to discover that he had forgotten to turn it on, and, well, he had to spend another hour to dry the pants.
His mom told me that as he had decided to switch to a specific style he had donated almost all his clothes. He actually only had one pair of pants.
Coronation Street Delay
My dad was a teacher in a school that is also used for filming a British TV soap opera. He would regularly be told that students were late due to having to do several takes (they would just walk around in the background of scenes). A few weeks later you'd see them on the TV. Coronation Street - the School is called Weatherfield High in the show, but when dad was there it was called Hope High School in reality.
Tiniest, quietest girl in the whole school walks in late, gets harshly questioned by the teacher on what her excuse was.
"I'm sorry, I got hit by a car."
She was 5 minutes late. She then proceeded to ask for permission to go to the infirmary. Her whole left side was covered in scratches and scrapes, but the door was on the right of the teacher's desk, so it wasn't immediately apparent.
"you poor girl"
I had a teacher who made us just write in a book why we were late, so we could quietly slip in and sit down without disturbing others. I simply wrote "work". She basically cornered me after, and half jokingly half serious starting drilling asking why I was so special my bosses needed me and she needs more info and omg don't they realize education was important?
So, with my head down unable to meet her gaze, I start to explain in horse breeding when you have high end horses you can collect their semen and just ship it all over. At the time they needed an extra hand and I was the only other employee comfortable working with their stallion. I went into great detail in all that is involved in the process.
She gave me a hug, said "you poor girl" and said I'm allowed to simply write "work" from now on if it happens again. (for the record, at that time I was simply the person holding the stallions lead rope and keeping him in control, not the one doing the nitty gritty stuff.)
Through the Window....Giphy
I was already running late and was hit by a car outside my class. The professor saw it through the window. I still went to class and she was cool about it, since I was hit by a car.
I Gored Myself
This might be the opposite of the prompt but once a professor canceled class 5 minutes before it started because she "found a chicken in her yard" ...? I gave her a real rough review when the time came.
Also i once had to turn in a graphic design final project a day late because I cut off my thumb with an x-acto blade. The professor was cool with it... I sent him photo evidence. 😂
An awesome teacher of mine let me into an SAT prep class late. When I told her that my apartment was robbed she was in awe. We were new immigrants and didn't have much, no Tv, no computers, just beds and some clothing, but my alarm clock was stolen (silly really!). She brought me an alarm on Monday with some clothes too.
Just Followin' Traffic Laws
Once my friend and I were late to a 7:45 am class, so we decided to stop at the stop sign (we were walking). When we got to class and the teacher asked why we were late, we told her we had to stop at the stop sign while walking. She let it slide for comedy's sake.
Humanity Made Me Late
In high school my chemistry teacher was 20 minutes late to first period. Another science teacher was getting class started when my teacher burst through the door holding a little gift bag. He had found a baby bird on his way to the school and took the time to make it a little nest in the bag and go buy food. The rest of class was spent caring for the little guy. He was one of my favorite teachers ever.
(Once he pulled the safety shower thing to show how it works and it wouldn't turn off. He flooded the classroom below us)
During my junior year of high school I was late to my first hour because my mom, who drove me to school every morning, had to stop the car on the side of the road to watch a family of wild turkeys for over 10 minutes.
Not The Most Efficient Use Of A Helicopter
In the 90's some dude thought to pick up his buddy from the train station on his helicopter, in Braga Portugal. While lifting off he hit the power lines and the helicopter fell on the motorcycle park near the station. No one got seriously hurt except the helicopter and a few bikes. Student of mine arrived late and his excuse was that an helicopter had crashed on his motorcycle so he had to walk. Did not believe him until I saw the news that night.
A Good, Long Nap
I'm a teacher now so this kinda counts, in high school once I went in like 2 hours before school started to finish up a presentation in the library, it only took me like an hour so I decided to go rest in my car till school started, woke up halfway through third period in my car and didn't turn my work in till the next day cause I slept through class.
I'm a student, and this incident happened... I think either first or second grade, either way I was probably right.
So, every morning my dad or mom would drop me off at the bus stop, and go do their own stuff, because, y'know, the bus always came. On this particular day, me and all the other kids in our neighborhood just sorta... Stood there for a while. It's getting late, and finally the bus arrives.
We're all freaked out that the bus was late, but hey, we can still make it to school on time, right? Wrong! The bus driver had a sub that day, one who had just moved to our city, and we were like the fifth stop.
Cue a bus full of elementary school kids who have never paid attention to a stop light trying their god damn best to guide a bus driver to the other stops, all while the clock keeps ticking on.
Eventually, the sub had to call our principal or something, in order to explain how the actual f*ck this happened, and another driver picked up the rest of kids while we finally got to school.
I really should've paid more attention to street signs, clearly.
Eyerolls Ain't The Way
I once showed up 30 minutes late to a college class and the teacher just rolled her eyes at me. I looked her in the eye and said "sorry I'm late. somebody died on my train." To be clear, I said this due to the New York MTA's use of the term 'sick passenger', which generally means someone who is unresponsive or possibly dead. In hindsight, the person might not have died, but it was still something that was entirely out of my control that prevented me from being on time to class.
A Classic Excuse With A Twist
Not a teacher but i walked in with a baggy of my homework that my puppy chewed up, teacher thought i was joking when i said my dog ate my homework, jokes on her i fed it to my dog so i wouldn't have to do it.
Caffeine And We'll Call It Even
I taught a grade 12 health class. The kids were 18 and I was 23. Two students were constantly coming in late first thing in the morning. Finally one day I asked them to come to my desk for a chat. I said to the two boys you are always late for class can you please explain why. They said we get breakfast in the McDonalds drive thru. I was like how about you guys get me a coffee the odd time and I won't mark you late..🤷🏼♀️🙃
I Guess I'm Three Dogs Now?
My 3 dogs ate the book I needed for about 20 different assignments. I had to put the chewed-up remains in a bag and take it to my teacher, and they gave me an F for all the assignments because they thought I had done it myself to get out of schoolwork. Yep, this dum@ss thought I chewed up a whole 300 or 400 page book all by myself. That book was bigger than my head and it was a hardcover book, explain to me how this idiot thought I thoroughly chewed an entire book by myself in less than 12 hours (I had used the book in their class for tutoring the night before and they were my 1st class in the morning).
Slip N Slide
Not a teacher, but the student. My Spanish teacher in high school asked me why I was late. I said my bus hit my science teacher's garage. The whole class started laughing their a**es off. My teacher had to explain I was telling the truth. They were friends and he already knew. The house was at the bottom of a hill on a gravel road. The road was pure ice and the bus couldn't stop
Adding Insult To Injury
I had to tell my math teacher I was late because the history teacher from the previous class wanted to lecture me after a student kicked me in the stomach.
The Math teacher had this look on her face that clearly showed she was having a hard time making sense of what I just said. She asked me what I did.
I told her that I have up to three Elizabeth's in each of my classes (Math had two). Almost every single one wanted to be called Lizze, Or Liz, or Beth. except one, and she was in my history class. I kept calling her by one of the other nicknames by accident, when she just wanted to be called Elizabeth. Except, this was the second to last class, and I was used to using one of the other variations. I kept slipping and called her by one of the nicknames, apologizing each time, and fixing my mistake.
Apparently, she got tired of it, and kicked me.
I got a 10 minute lecture about name calling. Elizabeth was just told "you know better than to kick someone." And we were let go. And yes, the Math teacher had to check this out to make sure it was true. And yes, I had a bruise on my stomach.
When The Pickings Are Slim
I went to high school in a small rural town. The main road leading to this town is a 2 lane highway with steep hills/curves. One morning there was some construction/accident causing major traffic and a detour. When we/parents called the school to inform them they already knew. A large group of students were all late by various times and didn't need proof.
The One Thing We Hope Never To Hear
Unbelievably sad, but "my mum died last night".
All the rest of the family lived far away, so dad brought the kids to school so someone could take care of them while he was making arrangements and until the grandparents could get a flight that afternoon. Asked the boy if he wanted to go to the counsellor, but he said he'd rather be with his friends.
He (and his siblings) were understandably absent the remaining two weeks of term.
I've actually had this excuse a second time (and it was true then also), but it was from a boy who was raised by foster parents from birth.
His birth mum had overdosed the day before and they kept him home to talk about it. He didn't care (he'd seen her maybe 5 times in 12 years) and was indeed happy because it meant that his foster parents could legally adopt him as his birth mum wouldn't sign the paperwork (she didn't know/wouldn't say who his biological father was).
This Is A Mood
Not my story, but a friend's. She said she was walking to school when she was in 1st grade and stopped to pet a cat. Well, she lost track of time and ended up getting counted absent. The office called her mother to ask why she wasn't at school, and of course everyone freaked out. They found her still sitting there with the cat.
Another Reason To Stop Eating Chik-Fil-A
This was me as a student, and resulted in both being late and leaving early. I have been using Invisalign, clear plastic retainers for those who don't know. The left side of my bottom teeth weren't moving the way the Orthodontist wanted them too, so they had to schedule an appointment to add three metal brackets and a short wire on my teeth to get that part of my mouth to move. My mother then took me to get Chik-fil-A after my appointment before heading to my school. While eating nuggets, the middle bracket came loose and began spinning around on the wire and between the other two remaining brackets. I tell my mother this, and she says we'll go back after school to replace it.
Around half an hour, I am in my Spanish class when another bracket comes out. I leave to tell my mother (she worked at the school), and she decided it might be more ideal to leave after Spanish, as the wire could begin poking at my gums and that wouldn't be good.
The Whole School Was Late
A couple years back there were roadworks all along the main road of our town, because of the extreme amount of traffic at 7:00/8:00 in the morning it all went very slowly.
But because everyone was stuck in the same traffic our whole school (teachers included) would all arrive an hour late to start the day because of the holdup.
One Way To Feel Like The New Kid
My car died in the middle of the packed college parking lot on the very first morning of classes, on my very first day of college. It died right in the middle of the lane so no cars could get around me. People were honking. Cars were having to back up one at a time to get out of the lane. I was extremely shy and pretty much begged for death at that point. I had to call my dad to come help me. Despite being able to SEE my class from my stranded car, I ended up being 30 mins late because I couldn't abandon it in the middle of the road.
Lack Of Money And Convenience
Idk if this counts, but one time, in the first week of the semester, I was over thirty minutes late to a 2 hour class because I legitimately couldn't find a parking spot! Very frustrating! Finally found one all the way across campus (had to spot someone walking to their car and ask if I could follow them and take their spot). The parking cost for the semester wasn't cheap either! Ugh
Sitcom Style Physical Comedy
Not a teacher but a student in hs. I was running late for school and was wearing heels and a dress for an academic challenge meet after school. I ran outside into the wet grass and then realized I forgot something inside. After grabbing whatever I left inside I ran back down the stairs and my wet heels slipped on the stairs. I managed to fall (literally) head over heels and my heel landed in the dry wall. At the time I did the announcements at school and had a student internship first block. I messaged my teacher with a picture of my bruised eye. The excuse seemed to work pretty well.
Vista Was A Nightmare
As a teaching assistant: 1) Student was late getting their assignments in, told us they had Lupus and had been in the hospital. Story checked out. 2) Football player repeating the class came in, looked like he expected to get chewed out and did by the head teacher. His excuse? His parents had thrown it out. He brought it in a couple days later, stained by food and liquids. They apparently told him it was worthless to try since he's never amount to anything and threw out all his school papers. He was accepted to college with our lunch timing tutoring.
Personally: my midterm college paper was due that morning and, within an hour of class, discovered I could no longer log in to my laptop to print it. Turned out my Windows Vista updated the night before and locked me out. Refused to accept my password. My teacher took one look at my laptop, patted my shoulder, and told me he'd give me an extra week because he also hated Vista with a heated passion. Took my sister and I a couple days but we managed to retrieve my paper from a backup, then upgraded my laptop to Win7.
When You Have Less Faith In Colleagues Than In Students
Fixing another teacher's car. I thought he was trying to pull a fast one but he was all smeared with brake dust/grease, and once I met the teacher he helped, I realized she would be stupid enough to drive 10 minutes with the kind of car problem he said she had.
The Professors Sympathize
I was a student at the time.
At my attending school, we had "Duke Exams". This was the title for an exam from Dr. Duke, a history teacher. She gave 15 "3 words prompts" and 5 questions for every exam.
The parameters for both of these? Write everything you know/remember from class.
I stayed in a Duke Exam for five hours, once. I was excused from all of my classes for that day because I told each professor that morning I had a Duke Exam.
The Teacher Probably Knew
I was smoking in my friends car before school. I left my stuff including my weed and my school books in my car. When it was time to go to school, I went to my car and realized I locked my keys in with everything else so simply calling my parents or AAA was not an option. I go to first period high af and my teacher asks why I'm late and why I have nothing with me so I tell her I locked my keys in my car. Fast forward to lunch period and I return to the car with some of my friends to somehow get myself back... a friend ended up smashing my entire back window. I was of course late to my next class and I had to explain the whole story (minus the weed) Teacher called me a dumb@$$.
What To Do When You Simply See "Explosive Diarrhea"
I have a Tardy Documentation Ledger which students are compelled to sign in when they are late. They can write a reason if they want (they are almost always tardy unless they have a pass). Most of the excuses are simply confessions, like "Walking slowly," or "talking to friends in the hallway." Occasionally I get an excuse that is more detailed, like "Explosive diarrhea," or "I got into a car accident today and the guy was a real jerk and he called the cops and I got mad and smashed my windshield and my sister almost got into a fight with the guy and the cop wrote me the ticked and my dad was so pissed and he said it will lose my car and my phone."
They're Gonna Win!
"We had a brainwave on how to build a killer robot, and lost track of time."
I checked. Daaaang, my students have some cool hobbies!
Amateur Robot Wars
I'm not a teacher, but when I was 14 I helped my mom teach summer school for 2nd graders the whole summer. This one kid didn't come to school one day, and when they came back the next day they said "oh, I needed to take my raccoon to the vet so I could get it neutered." I thought the kid was just lying and they didn't feel like coming. The next day this kid brings in a picture of them, gleefully holding a little raccoon. I still didn't believe it until their dad came to pick them up a few days later and guess what's poking it's head out the car window? A raccoon.
We Love Random Acts Of Imperialism
I went to a public high school on the Air Force Academy base, so if you lived off base, you had to stop and show your ID at the gate. One morning my senior year, I happened to get selected for a random car search - they had me pull off to the side of the gate and stand there for about half an hour as they looked under my hood and in my trunk and everything. So when I finally get to English class, I explain to my teacher what happened.... luckily my classmates could vouch for seeing me as they drove by
Misogyny At Its Finest
Not a teacher nor the student, but my great grandmother had a good one. Her car broke down and she had to fix it. Not so strange now, but the teacher had a hard time believing a woman could fix a car! It was the 30s after all. Well she lived on a farm and they only had girls so they all had to learn to fix things, great great grandpa confirmed. (Or so I was told)
It's Gettin' Hot In Herrre
Not a teacher, but my classmate was 30 minutes late for our Croatian language class this year. When our Headroom teacher asked him why he was late he told him that his house was on fire. He started laughing. It turned out to be true. His chimney and a part of his roof indeed was on fire.
Injuries Get You Every Time
In kindergarten, I tumbled down one of those twirly slides and bruised my nose, sprained my ankle, cut my lip open, and cut open the inside of my ear. Thinking back, I must have looked so bad@ss with blood pouring out of one ear and dripping from my mouth, a bruise on my nose which was also bleeding, and with a black eye from hitting it on the slide. My friend just walked me to the bathroom where I cleaned myself up (that's what I get for having a family full of nurses) and then walked me to get an ice pack for my ankle. I just set my foot up on the table and took my quiz.
There was also a time just before quarantine when I slipped off my skateboard (I don't always get a ride to school and it's only a twenty minute walk) and a whole chunk of the skin on my knee came off as i slid across the sidewalk. I always carry a first aid kit (again-family of nurses) and just straight up used a water fountain to rinse it off and then wrapped it and carried my board the rest of the way.
No Tone For The Stone
When I was in highschool I once had a small kidney stone which caused me to miss about a week of school. On my first day back, one of my teachers asked me in a condescending tone in the middle of the class where I was that whole week, as if I had skipped school to go on a tropical vacation. I answered that I had a kidney stone and her tone instantly disappeared.
The Most Stressful Time Of Your Life
I was absolutely stressing out my senior year of college, so much so that I went to counseling at the local mental health clinic. I lived at home during college, but I was trying to conceal the fact that I was going to a mental health clinic from my parents. This was the '80's and the stigma associated with mental health issues was way worse than it is now. So one day, I was allegedly leaving home early to study before class when I was really going to counseling about a mile or two in the wrong direction. After my counseling session, I had to move pretty damn fast to get to my college campus. I got to the classroom just as the teacher was pulling the door shut, but she saw that I was running to make it, so she just smiled at me and let me in.
Am a student. Was put in ESE in 4th grade because Florida schools are terrible at handling children when their parents refuse to drug them out of their minds. Got partially out of it in middle school, but wasn't fully mainstreamed until 8th grade because the school didn't want to give up their big fat paycheck from having one more ESE kid.
There was one class in 7th grade I showed up to an hour late every day. Turns out ESE classes follow a different schedule than normal classes, so my ESE English overlapped my Mainstream Social Studies by an entire hour. It got to the point where my SS teacher would send me to the office the moment I walked into her class. I think that was what finally got me out.
(The specific brand of ESE was called "Emotionally Handicapped." Feel free to look up how horrific it is.)
The funniest - "The bathroom sink exploded on me." Found out later that day that the pipe in the student bathroom actually did burst as my student was washing his hands.
The grossest - "The Police Horse diarrhead on me" They police officer brought the horse by the high school for part of some assembly. The students had like 20 minutes to see the horse afterwards if they wanted to. The horse apparently was having a bad stomach day...
The Most Unforgettable - "I was waiting for the pregnancy test to confirm I'm pregnant" I literally stared at her open mouthed for like 10 seconds before I thought of anything to say. She was so upbeat about it as well. (This was like a few days before her graduation so I'm not actually sure what happened with it all)
A Kebabster's Note
A kid said he was eating a kebab at a store, teacher didn't believed him and he showed him a paper from the kebab man confirming what he was saying.
Lines Don't Work When It's True
Not a teacher, but a classmate with limited english was once made to write lines to the effect of "I will not lie about crosses falling from the sky to excuse my tardiness." The teacher later had to apologise to the boy when the newspapers reported that the giant cross on the town clock tower had come off due to rust the morning before.
Always remember that one.
I Forgot My Clothes
I worked in the main office at a school and had TEACHERS come in late. The usual excuses: couldn't find my keys, traffic jam, kids sick and needed to get a sitter. One teacher came in just as the bell rang but immediately got sent home. She took off her coat and only had her slip on. She apparently forgot to put on her skirt because she was rushing around so much!!! She never lived that one down.
Sounds 90s But Ok
Although I am a teacher, my favorite excuse was one I helped provide.
I went to college in the dark ages, before anyone had their own computers. My university was small & lacking in technology, but they had one computer lab where students could type & print their papers. My friend A. had just finished printing out his term paper for one of his important classes (a lot was riding on this paper), & he started walking to my apartment because he was dating my roommate.
Halfway to the apartment, where there was no shelter at all, the skies opened up in a torrential downpour. When A knocked at the apartment door, he looked like he'd jumped in a swimming pool. He'd tried shoving his freshly printed paper under his jacket, but it still got soaked. He couldn't go back to the lab because it closed minutes after he had left it.
I had heard that you could dry paper in the microwave oven, so I convinced A to let me microwave the pages, one at a time. The results were ok-ish. The sheets were warped, some had very badly smudged ink, and most of them had scorch marks—but we figured his prof would accept it (with the story), and then A could print a better copy when the computer lab reopened. (It was only open about 5 hours a night.)
His professor laughed when A turned in his scorched, smudged, and slightly rumpled paper with his explanation and his fervent promise to get a better copy to her later, but she didn't have a problem with him reprinting it & handing her a more readable copy the next day. He still got a 95% or something on it.
Not Safe To Be Alone At Night
I'm not a teacher and I wasn't late to class but I was unable to finish my assignment one night in like 7th grade because I got jumped by three random people at my local park that didn't even know me and didn't get out of the police station until late at night. The teacher believed me because it was pretty obvious I got beat up. Also all three of them were at least like 2-3 years older than me and I was alone so I didn't stand much of a chance.
Big Cats Roam
Obligatory not-a-teacher, but as a sophomore in high school I went home for lunch. Turned in the news and there was legit a bengal tiger on the loose in my neighborhood (apparently there was a wild animal sanctuary across the way and he escaped). I loved calling my physics teacher to tell him why I was going to be late to my first class after lunch!!
A Block Of Swans
I was once part of an entire university accommodation block (60 students approx ) who were late for the first lecture of the day. This was due to a pair of the university's nesting swans (there was a lake on campus) deciding to shelter from the miserable weather in the entrance doorway. As these evil tempered murder birds were notorious for taking offence at the mere existence of other forms of life, especially bipedal lifeforms, nobody was too keen in attempting to dislodge them.
One of the more foolhardy guys did try poking one of the with a broom handle but its counterattack was so intimidating we decided that discretion was the better part of valour.
The Thing To Come Back With
I was late to a class in TAFE and usually they don't let you in if you're more than 15 minutes. I had a drs note so I thought I'd try anyway coz more than one missed class and you fail.
Anyway the teacher asks why I'm so special to be allowed in when I was late, giving me real attitude, that she's not going to pander to my irresponsibility and detract from those who could be bothered to attend on time.
I was feeling kinda embarrassed and kind annoyed so I replied " sorry my daughters oncology appointment ran late but her specialist wrote me a note "
She just kinda stared at me and told me to sit down.
The Best Note Ever
I taught in a rural school with a very good shop class. I had a kid (super nice, talented kid I liked a lot) run late into choir covered head to toe with grease with a completely frantic expression on his face. He handed me an equally greasy note that said:
Please excuse _____ from class. He's helping me put together a bus we need to run in 45 minutes.
I think I kept the note but I haven't seen it in a long time.
I'm not a teacher but when I was in high school a kid in my class got bit by a rabid beaver and he missed volleyball tryouts. We had class together and the teacher was the coach. Obviously the coach didn't believe him at first but saw the massive bruise from the bite/treatment. To be fair I wouldn't have believed that excuse either had I not seen the mark.
How To Save A Life
I was the student in question. I was once late by about 20 minutes to class. My teacher thought it odd as I am never late. I said "sorry, my friend had a seizure" that friends teacher even gave me a pass. They checked with that teacher. 100% true. I helped my friend who had a seizure in class. She didn't want to go to home and I thought she knew better as it was her body and her condition. She was fine through out the day. I would later marry her friend who also has epilepsy. I am also trained to assist with 5 different types of seizures.
Ouchy Ouchy Ouchy
Student not teacher, college math class. I'd burned the heck out of my hand and was taking hydrocodone for the pain. I could take 3 and still function, but that morning in my sleep addled state I'd taken 3 as I was getting ready, forgot, and took 3 more as I was running out the door. Realized what I'd done about 10 seconds later, thought "oh no," and went to class.
I had a good relationship with the teacher and she knew about the hand already, so when I got to class I just told her what happened, and that I felt fine now, but that I didn't know what was gonna happen. She just told me "sit in the back, if the formulas I'm writing start melting off the board, just get up and go home."
I left 15 minutes later.
Forgot new school started at 7 am and showed up for an 8 am start time instead. It was November. Also it was me. The teacher. I showed up an hour late to a class of seventh graders because of a brain fart.
Oh Just A Normal Toe-Breaking
"Hey, sorry I'm late, I broke my toe on the way here! I set it, I'm good."
It happened. She set it, went through class, and went home.
Turned out she broke bones every week or so due to genetics, but boy did it scare me the first two times!
Just Can't Moooooooove
My math teacher said the best excuse he ever got for a student not getting homework finished was that there was a cow in her pool.
My understanding was that it was a family effort to get the cow out, and that the cow was in danger, and it was a lengthy process. I'm not entirely sure what went down, and I am still wondering if there was a fence around the pool...and if so what kind of Houdini bovine stuff went down.
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There is nothing more frustrating than the things we cannot say, but desperately want to.
Sometimes, we might find ourselves in situations where we are positively desperate to speak up, but for whatever reason can't.
Even though we know deep down, that people will be better off, or things might run more smoothly if we said something.
Redditor MCKlassik was curious to hear the things that people would benefit from hearing, but will likely never be told, leading them to ask:
"What is something most people need to hear but no one has the guts to tell people?"
Think twice before having children
"Some people aren't fit to be parents."- Busy_Quail1725
"A baby will not save your failing relationship."
"Some parents do not love their children."- Optimal-Green9561
When they blame their ex for the break up.
"Sometimes, it is you and not them."- Ok_String_6735
Don't let the smile fool you
"Just because someone is smiling does not mean that they are happy."
"Smiling is also a sign of nervousness or discomfort."- redge9987not feeling it nicki minaj GIFGiphy
Don't always let you feelings guide you
"Your feelings are important, but they can also lead you astray."
"Listen to them, but question them as well to see where you might be wrong."- PapiSurane
No one likes a know it all
"Not everyone needs to hear your opinion on everything."
"It's ok to have an unexpressed thought."
"Yes, I am aware of the irony expressing this thought."- FuturenazgulKnow It All Nbc GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
Enough with the self pity
"Who you are is not who you are doomed to be."- Smart_Walk8237
When they're one egg short of a dozen
"You need to develop critical thinking and reasoning skills."- balaclavaloungepartylogic andykassier GIFGiphy
When their scent precedes them.
"You should take a shower."- SatanOnLSD
In some cases, it might be worse not to say something, especially if it might actually help their situation.
But when that isn't the case, it's probably best to suck up our pride, and keep our big mouths shut.
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Films can be challenging in what they're trying to say, and if that challenge is too much to answer, don't feel bad for having to turn something off.*The following article contains discussion of sexual assault.
"What’s film is so brutal to watch you had to stop watching it?"
What reason would you have for stopping a movie before it finishes? The cinematography making you dizzy? The subject matter is too much for your to consider?
It'll vary, that's for sure.
"Animals Don't Behave Like Men"
"Hey, it's a cartoon, and it has bunnies!"
"Oh dear god..."
Let's Climb High
"Not brutal, but I had to stop watching the doc Free Solo bc my blood pressure couldn’t handle the stress. This was early on when I had no knowledge of the climber and outcome."
"The Alpinist is the spiritual successor to this because it takes all the danger and pushes the envelope a bit more. However you felt about Free Solo, you’ll feel the same way about The Alpinist, except the guy is a bit more charismatic."
Don't Listen To The Internet. It's Bad.
"Batman and Robin(1997)"
"Batsuit nipples and sh-t zippers."
Perhaps it's the gore that forces you to turn it off, because watching someone being disemboweled for the umpteenth time in a film is not what you consider "entertainment."
Seems Like A Breach Of The Hippocratic Oath...
"I saw some French horror film about a nurse who went to some pregnant ladies house, tormented her, tortured her, then proceeded to cut open her belly with scissors to get the baby out."
"I think that was called Inside. Not really bothered by gore in movies on the whole but that one definitely left me freaked out on the walk home."
You Need To Pick Better "Family" Movies
"The Last House On The Left. The rape scene in that movie was way too brutal for me to get through it. I can still picture scenes of it for some reason, that's how real and violent it felt. Didn't help that it was a movie that my family decided to watch together either. That said, we still tease my mom for picking that movie out as some weird shared trauma bonding experience all these years later. So maybe it wasn't a bad family movie after all????"
You Should See His Joker...
"Requiem for a dream"
"Watched it on a date."
"There was not a second."
Sound Makes Everything
"While I didn't stop watching, Bone Tomahawk was just..... jaezus"
"I stopped but then shortly after gathering myself watched that scene. I think the worst of it is the sound. Whoever did the sound engineering for that scene, from the dude letting out this last gasp of pain he has to the splitting part all of it leaves a lasting impression"
Romantic Revenge With Pretty Dresses
"Midsommar - I think its a psychological horror, I didn't stop watching but it was the most uncomfortable I have ever felt while watching a movie."
"The movie itself is very trippy and honestly disturbing."
Whatever your reason for turning it off, trust your gut. If it's not giving you a good feeling, then maybe it's not the film for you.
There's A Message Buried Under All The Blegh
"a serbian film. awful sh-t"
"I finished it when I was a rebellious 21 year old solely out of spite and wanting to see "the most banned movie" and boy do I wish I'd turned it off."
"It was awful to watch. But (if I remember correctly) the film was made as a statement on the Serbian government. To tell the story of people born into a sh*tty system which they cannot escape."
"In that respect it was an incredible film. However I have to say that, I don't necessarily agree with the visual imagery, it was brutal and perhaps could have been toned down abit."
"Though arguably had to be done to get the point across to an audience who otherwise would have ignored it."
A Movie About Kids. What Could Go Wrong?
"Grave of the Fireflies. One of the only movies I've ever stopped watching partway through."
"Brilliant but one of the darkest movies I've ever seen."
A Grim View Of Our World
"Threads. The most terrifying movie I've ever seen about nuclear disaster. tl;dr it's not something you want to survive"
"It's not even a horror movie, it's a docudrama. That's just how horrific the subject matter is."
"A lot of apocalypse movies offer a very romantic view of what things would be like. Threads (and The Road) show a much more realistic view of it. Just humans slowly becoming feral as they struggle to survive in nightmarish hellscape."
"I made it as far as the hospital scene, stopped watching, and decided that if the nukes are ever flying, the best thing to do is to pray to whatever deity you believe in (or not), then step outside and watch the fireworks."
The Good Guys Will Never Win
"My husband turned it on and started watching it not knowing it. I’m like “oh this is interesting…He’s so annoying! Just leave her alone…Wait what…I can’t watch, but I can’t turn away…”
Summaries are there for a reason, people. Let's start reading them before we press play, especially when our families are in the room.
Was there a movie you turned off partway through? Tell us about it in the comments!
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Being a law-abiding citizen shouldn't be that difficult.
As long as people obey the rules, maintain their morals, and avoid making extremely bad decisions, they will never see the walls inside a prison cell.
Unfortunately, people do often break the law and find themselves in the slammer where their contemplations on life choices come a little too late.
But now that they have nowhere to go, what is the wisdom inmates acquire?
Curious to hear what some of those might be, Redditor Max_Fenig asked:
"Former inmates of Reddit, what are some things about prison that people outside wouldn't understand?"
Many speculations about life behind bars are confirmed here.
"how boring it is. you spend your entire time just waiting. waiting for court. waiting for a sentence. waiting to get out. it’s a level of boredom i never want to experience again."
Misery Loves Company
"Starchy food and a lack of dental care."
Waiting In Lines
"Seriously. Between regular prison stuff, it's all just waiting in lines. Picking up commissary? Go wait in line. Doctors appointment? We'll wake you up at 4am so you can go wait in line. (Also, why did the doctors always have to check me out at 4am? One time, they woke me up for medical and for a split sec I didn't know where I was so I just put my hands down my pants and went back to sleep. Guards just laughed and told me to wake my a** up...lol)"
Like A Psych Ward
"No kidding. Your feeling of helplessness is so intense. I sat there thinking I was just a bit down and sad. So now you lock me up and treat me like child and expect me to suddenly be happy? I didn't gain anything from it except learning to keep my sadness to myself and not reach out for help."
"Left the place barely being able to function from my depression to being so drugged up I could barely function. No change in my status to society etc. Just a change in the cause."
Some former inmates miss the established sense of order and the mundanity of life in prison.
Weird Kind Of Freedom
"Sometimes you miss it once you're out."
"There are some days where I just feel defeated by the daily stresses of life, and I remember being able to wake up every day and not really have to worry about a lot of things: I don't have rent or utilities to pay, I don't have to go grocery shopping, I don't have to do yard work, I don't have to keep a schedule of places to be and worry about making sure I have enough time to get from place to place or anything. It was a weird kind of freedom while being extremely un-free."
The School Analogy
"I think this is part of what I miss about being a kid. School was like an optimistic 'prison' in that we were told what to do and when. But that in itself was freeing, because I didn’t have to worry about planning the day, or my life. I didn’t miss out on things bc we all went to the same things. It felt like the guidance we had would make everything turn out okay."
"This is part of what’s difficult about being an adult, that you don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t know if youre making the best choices, you constantly fear missing out on other things while doing anything, you got no guarantee of social interaction with others. People aren’t trusting of you by default, and every first interaction is an attempt to convince people that you’re a good enough person to engage with."
"Someone’s always there to catch you from falling and help you out in school as a kid. As an adult, there’s no safety net, no one’s coming to save you, because you’re on your own."
Going Through The Motions
"Yeah, its so easy once you get used to it. Everything is figured out for you, you got a stable rutine and there are clear rules and bounderies. Also you usually have a tight group of friends that you share everything with."
"I spend a year in the army as a conscript and I was pretty down after it ended, because I had to return to a life of a young man where everything was still so unclear and difficult."
Finding A Community
"Honestly, it's not always so bad. These days there are so many drug addicts in low sec prisons that they sometimes group them together in the same blocks. I was one of them, and everyone was respectful and friendly. When I got there I was in full opiate withdrawal and my cell mates gave me food and comfort to help me get through it. This is not always the case, for sure, but I've dealt with worse people on the outside than when I was locked up."
For the most part, ex-cons believed the reality of life in prison didn't closely reflect Hollywood depictions.
Don't Rock The Boat
"Ex-Con here. One thing about Prison I feel like people don’t understand when I tell them my story is that Prison (at least for me) isn’t entirely like what it is in the media. Yeah sure there is Riots, Yard fights, people get shanked, and there scary dudes who look like they want to kill you but in reality they just look mean and scary as a way to protect themselves. For instance there was this big tough dude who was actually a chill dude and got cigs and stuff for others guys if you treated him right. So in reality if you treat other inmates right and don’t bad mouth anyone then you’ll be fine. Just don’t do the what the 'skinny idiot' did, and that is act all SUPER tough and get in peoples faces because that is what will get you beaten up."
"Prison society is exceptionally polite 99% of the time. Inmates have some of the best manners of anyone you will ever interact with. They hold doors for the next person even if they are far away and have to wait. They say please and thank you. They do not insult each other or show disrespect."
"If you are ever in prison and see inmates acting impolite towards each other, get the f'k out of there. That 1% when it's not polite is extraordinarily violent and dangerous."
"I'll take a different angle on this instead of the usual horror stories, as violent and crazy as it was, there were a lot of good parts too. As someone that has had a pretty chaotic life, having a secure day to day life, employment and lots of trusted friends around me for a few years was really nice."
"There's a certain level of comfort that comes with being surrounded by murderers that you're actually friends with, new inmates come and go but you're tucked away in the long term unit where there's a 3 month waiting list to even apply to transfer in, it really was a very peaceful experience for me."
Based on the majority of what was shared here, it may seem those of us who have never served a sentence have wrongful impressions of life behind bars.
We just have to take their word for it.
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I know we're a culture full of over the top whiners.
We love to go on and on about all the things that bother us.
And all of the life impediments that stand in the way of our happiness.
But we need to dial it down a notch.
There is a difference between actual bodily harm and an inconvenience.
Redditorseesnawsnappywanted to mull over what aspects of life make us feel like actual pain but maybe we're exaggerating. They asked:
"What isn't torture but feels like it?"
I hated waiting tables. You have no idea the actual torture, ok not actual, but misery one must endure.
Dial UpSpongebob Squarepants Internet GIFGiphy
"Slow internet : pretty salty"
"Connected but no internet : a n g r y"
Out of the Way!
"Traffic when you’re already late."
"Being stuck in traffic, and having a poop locked and loaded in the chamber. Stupid drivers wrecking all the time and having me prairie doggin' for an extra hour."
"Worst part for me is I don't have to poop until Im stuck in the car i get the urge before I leave and I try to go and it doesn't happen but when I'm the car without a bathroom within 50 miles it's like I've taken a laxative it's so terrible."
"Food delivery being over the estimated time."
"Or when the time keeps getting extended further and further and further and you have a 6 AM flight the next morning and then you check and it turns out the restaurant closed 2.5 hours ago but Doordash still says that a Dasher was waiting for an order and you have to give up and have sleep for dinner."
"Having a 230 appointment the whole day is ruined."
"I had one of those today! It was the only appt available this week, and fell right in the middle of an 8 hour shift. So I left and took my cat to the vet, brought her home, and went back to work. Honestly, not nearly as bad as if it was scheduled on an off day. Lucky to have a boss that understands pet needs, too."
JawsKids Running GIF by PinkfongGiphy
"Baby Shark… Never mind that is torture."
If I hear that song again... I can't even think about it.
Swollen GlandsSore Throat Radang GIF by K Health | Digital Primary CareGiphy
"I caught strep for the first time in my early twenties when working at a daycare/preschool, and it actually was torture. My throat was so swollen it felt like I was swallowing glass and every time I tried to swallow I couldn't really get all my saliva to go down so I was pretty sure I was just going to drown in my own spit."
"When you lose 5g and it kicks you back down to 4 and it won’t load a webpage even though 2 years ago it would’ve had it up in 2 seconds."
"Long story short with physics, it’s frequency vs power. Then providers think they need to upgrade some parts but not others. There’s a reason, but it’s a stupid reason."
"This makes me furious. How in the hell is having only 4g as slow as when we didn't have 4g at all years ago? Ridiculous."
"Being on one of those slow-moving people movers and stuck behind someone who is just standing there instead of walking."
"I yelled 'get out of the way' this morning to a guy that was walking slow when a car was behind him and I need to get to where the car was coming from."
"Waiting at the doctor's office. (USA). They have the audacity to charge you a fee for being late and calling it a 'no-show' but damned if I've ever been to a 2pm appointment that actually began earlier than 2:30-2:45."
"45 minutes is ok, in France we don't pay for doctors but it's possible to wait 2 or 3h after the original time of appointment."
"I remember having regular appointments for physical therapy that never started on time. The magazines in the waiting room were crap, so I started bringing a really long novel with me."
ForeverComedy Central Advertising GIF by South ParkGiphy
"Watching 2 unskippable 30 second ads, it's only a minute but it feels like an eternity."
Well there are worse things in life. We do whine a lot.
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