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Teachers Reveal The Worst Fights They've Broken Up In School

Teachers Reveal The Worst Fights They've Broken Up In School

Teachers have it tough.

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They are under appreciated, underpaid, and under utilized. And they work so hard to make sure kids learn--but sometimes they have to go above and beyond their jobs to ensure the safety of their students.

u/GalagaMarine asked Reddit: Teachers of Reddit, what's the worst fight you had to break up?

Here were the stories they came out with.

Pencil Pusher

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The worst fight I broke up wasn't because of students getting hurt, but because of how lame it was. First off, I teach middle school which is just one awkward moment after another. These two kids were arguing over a pencil because one kid supposedly broke the other kid's pencil. They were bickering back and forth like two old men and then they just broke out in really mediocre wrestling. It was embarrassing to watch because neither boy could even wrestle and I was able to just tell them to stop and send them to the office with no other issues. Another reason it was the lamest fight ever was because all the other students who were working at other tables went about their work and talking to each other and didn't even notice. Usually they would be chanting "Fight! Fight!" over and over and crowding around trying to film for World Star.

Pre-Grad For Post-Grads

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I taught adults at a vocational school, mostly from rough neighborhoods. We had been warned to never try to break up a fight, as many of these students carried knives and so forth.

Some woman had a bad falling out with her group of friends, and was sitting separated from them. They were talking back-and-forth, very loudly, very aggressively across the room. I couldn't control them, and went to get a supervisor. With me and the supervisor guy there, one of the girls from the group came across the room at the odd one out. She is big, 6' and 250 lbs, and charges across the room at the odd one out, who is maybe 5' 2". Supervisor gets in between them. They fight around him for a second, then smaller woman slashes the face of bigger woman with a razor or something. That pretty much ended it, other than a few thrown things and tussle, but a lot of hair and braids were ripped out and there was blood everywhere. Supervisor was lucky. They literally fought around him, and the smaller one whipped that blade over his right shoulder to slash the other ones face. This was on a Tuesday, and they were to effectively graduate on Thursday. Insane.

Don't Out Other Kids

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I am an English teacher in France. This happened in the classroom next door to mine and I just witnessed the aftermath and heard the gossip from my friend who did break it up and was there to hear the story when they got hauled into the admins office.

One of my male students was named Timothée, who was dating a girl named Ana a year under him. One day last year he apparently left his phone unattended and unlocked and she picked it up and started searching through it.

What Ana found was his very male 'best friend' Louis sexting and sending him nudes and talking about how much he loved him and Tim was texting back and being equally enthusiastic about the two of them being together out in the open once they finished school and were in university.

She proceeded to screenshot and send all those texts, sexts and nudes to her boyfriend's parents, before replacing his phone so he wouldn't know. Tim's parents are very conservative (and when I say very, I mean VERY. His mother once called me to complain about his grade in English and it evolved into a rant about foreign students that would make Marine Le Pen proud) and Ana knew so that's why she went this revenge route. This kid went home to be blindsided thanks to her, and apparently he had to basically flee the house because he was afraid of his father.

Louis turned up to school the next day, calmly entered Ana's first period class and went nuts. I just heard him screaming after he had been restrained which is when I went to go check. Louis was borderline hysterical and screaming about her being a b**** who ruined Tim's life. It was bad.

Melodic Mauling

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That being said, the worst fight I saw was in a science lab. I was in the back of the lab installing some software to go with a digital microscope and a large 8th grade girl was singing disrespectfully while the teacher was talking. Tiny 8th grade girl behind her was getting PISSED and telling her to shut up because she couldn't hear what the teacher was saying. Big girl continued to sing. Tiny girl says for the last time "shut the f-ck up I'm trying to learn!" Then proceeds to leap over the lab table between them, grabs the big girls hair. They had to get a very large male administrator in there to pull her off. The teacher got elbowed in the face when she tried to step in, said screw it and ran out into the hall to get an admin.

Fun times.

Totally Forked

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My uncle was a teacher for many years and was once stabbed by a student with a fork while breaking up a fight in the cafeteria.

Teddy Embrace

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My dad is a 5'6" Hispanic dude, gentlest person you can imagine. His first teaching job was at a rough high school. Two guys (both much bigger than him) got into it but security was nowhere to be found so he tackled them both in a bear hug so all they could do was stare at each other in rage while my dad waited for reinforcements

Reclaiming My Time

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Substitute Teacher here: I was randomly assigned for the very last period of the day to a... difficult class. All of these kids were enormous. Like, maybe they were football kids? All I know is my petite self wasn't even shoulder level with these kids.

So in a classroom full of enormous dudes, A few in the back kept picking on one kid in the front.

The (seriously huge) kid stood up and charged at the (super big) kids in the back, who all stood up, ready to fight.

My (super lame) reaction was to slam my tiny hands on the desk and yell, "EXCUSE ME!!! BACK in your seats please."

They all just sort of stopped and looked confused, and then sat back down. No fight. No problem. Nobody was more surprised than me.

I ended up leaving them some good notes for their teacher because honestly, any enormous guys who stop their big fight just because some tiny lady in a cardigan asks them to sit down -well, they can't be all bad.

Stay Safe

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I had a student who fought a few times in my class, and was one of those "blind rage" type fighters who would just swing at anyone until he got back under control. He was manageable in my class but he was sent to homeschooling after a fight he got into in the hallways. Something stupid set him off, and he punched the other kid a few times before being restrained by one of the security guards...who he also punched in the face.

During the same fight, a teacher was trying to separate the two students, and he (accidentally, but still) broke two of her fingers. It dawned on me that day why they tell us to not get between students fighting. She was lucky that 1: she wasn't hurt worse, and 2: that she wasn't written up on disciplinary charges for breaking that rule.

Honor Code

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I've only broken up a few fights, and they were pretty mundane but if there is one thing I know is that girls fights are worse than boys. Girls will go for your eyes, but boys typically stick to an honor code, no hits below the belt and all that.

Outta Dodge

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I used to teach high school in rural Georgia. I had to break up a fight between two girls and a heavily pregnant girl. I never taught these girls and it happened between classes in the hallway in front of my room. The pregnant girl was on the floor screaming. I grabbed each of them by their upper arms and hauled them away very hard. One fell back on her a** and the other nearly fell. The one on her a** started crying about how I'd hurt her. The other girl acted like she was going to rush me or the pregnant girl. I grabbed her, held her back, and told her that if she tried it again I'd make her wish she hadn't. She tried to hit me, and i twisted her arm until she was on the floor kneeling. Meanwhile, one of the other teachers helped the pregnant girl and another called the nurse/principal. I was the only one to act for a good 30-40 seconds.

The Hairy Doctor

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I had two girls fighting in my classroom, it turned into a hair pulling contest and my skeleton; Dr.Cal C. Ian (life drawing class) wore one of their weaves for the rest of the school year.

JV Fencing

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My mom had two seventh graders using chair legs to fence each other.

The Riot Act

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In my low-income urban public school we had an actual riot, with students punching police officers, tripping the fire alarm, damaging property, and screaming obscenities. School was canceled for two days as teachers reviewed security footage and suspended kids. Of course, it was a doozy to break up. A lot of dissatisfied kids in the cities.

Chaos

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Actual Teacher here. It was after school and i was headed to the copy room. On the way is the cafeteria, which had been cleared of all the tables and was basically just one big empty area --- except for the huge mass of students that had developed.

I rushed into the massive crowd where two different circles had formed. It was literally like being at a metal concert with two mosh pits. At least 16 kids were fighting. When i broke through, one kid fell in front if me and the guy who pushed him ran up and did a Janikowski kick to his head.

All metal moshing instincts kicked in where my main goal was to basically push away as many people as possible and keep them away from each other until more AP's/officers could arrive to help.

It was chaos, so i don't remember much after that. To this day i don't even know why they were fighting. Once everything was settled, i picked my paper back up and went back to making copies.

Brawls In The Halls

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I taught for two years in a very rough boys school where I had to break up fights almost daily. I'll share three stories.

The first fight was when two students started fighting because of ... well I can't quite remember to be honest. It probably started as an argument over which one's mother is a bigger w****. The fighters were grade 9 aged. It took 4 staff members to break the two apart, and even more to keep them separated after the initial blows. At the height of the chaos, both were throwing chairs, tables, and whatever else they could get their hands on. The end result was damaged windows, broken doors, and quite a few staff members that had cuts/scrapes/bruises from trying to keep the two away from each other. I'm pretty sure they met up outside school to settle their differences later that week.

The second story is a bit more lighthearted. In my first few months of teaching at the school, I rewarded a group for good behaviour by taking them to play soccer on their small hardcourt area. When I say good behaviour, I mean they hadn't assaulted or verbally abused each other in my class all week. Even though I was still new, I felt like I could trust them since they had been relatively well-behaved, and they were a small group. In the middle of the game, which was going great by the way, two players from opposite teams had a moment of frustration and started swinging haymakers. They both got a few good shots in, and by the time I was able to get in between them the fight was over. We took a 5 minute break, they shook hands and we continued the game. I didn't write them up for that one.

The last story is one of the few times where I legitimately thought I would have to defend myself. I was on duty at the hardcourt during break, and I challenged a student on his behaviour. He had been picking on a younger student, and all I had asked for him to do was stop. When he kept doing it, I approached and told him that he had to leave the hardcourt area. Once I was within 5 metres or so, he turned on me. He started telling me to f*** off, and cursing at me with every word in his vocabulary. Everything seemed to slow down at this point as he started to walk towards me, with what I could feel was an intent to hurt. At the same time though, I could sense the other students watching, and starting to move closer towards us. I began stepping back while talking to him, trying to deescalate the situation, and I even outstretched my arm towards him to try to keep space between us. Before the student was able to fully reach me, he was turned and escorted away by 3 other students. As s*** of a situation as that was, to me that incident had a silver lining. Even though at times I'm sure they all had their differences with me, that day I felt lucky to have those boys as my students. I'm not sure what would've happened if they hadn't stepped in, but I do know it would not have been a positive outcome.

Where Are The Teachers?!

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I'm not a teacher. But my highschool put a jukebox in our cafeteria one year and for a dollar you could play three songs. So these 3 girls put in like, 5 bucks and played 50 Cents' 'In Da Club' on repeat.

After the 4th or so repeat of the same song, some girl had had enough and went to unplug the jukebox. The three girls literally jumped her right there, punches and hair flying everywhere. I'll give the the one girl credit, she was holding her own against the 3 of them. This is all going on and that f-cking song was still playing, everybody's watching them. After about a minute in, some guy strolls over all casual like and unplugs the jukebox. They stopped fighting after that and that song was never played again. The end.

7th Grade Is Hard

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My first year teaching, I had to break up a bunch of typical middle school fights- hair pulling, fighting over boys, weak punches when boys were involved (7th grade). We had a bit of a gang problem, so it was fairly common. Two still really stand out to me though.

The first involved two girls fighting over a boy who had been sent to juvy. I walked out of a classroom where I was observing, and one was already being held back by our seven foot tall social studies teacher. The other girl was ripping fistfuls of the other girl's hair out and screaming 'HE'S MY MAN. GET THE F-CK OUTTA MY HALL' ( other girl who had her hair ripped out was an eighth grader, and eighth graders were supposed to stay out of the seventh grade hall). The screaming one was a student of mine so I just walked in, asked her calmly to let go or be picked up, and picked her up to take her to the office while she screamed and clawed at me. At one point, she promised to calm down, and I fell for it. She immediately ran back and began fighting again, so I had to carry her to the office. Later, they asked if I wanted to press charges for the kicking and scratching. I literally laughed in the deputy's face. How vindictive are people that they have to ask if you want to ruin a 12 year old's life?

There was one even worse than that, though. I had one student who was a gang leader in my class, but he was always respectful with me and worked hard in class, so I just sort of chalked it up to rumors. One day near the end of the year, I turned around to write something on the board, and heard a girl scream. I turn around and the quiet respectful kid had ripped one of my loudmouths out of his seat and was kicking him with precision directly in the kidneys while bellowing. I was horrified. This kid was a weight lifter, and prying him off of the other kid who was curled up in the fetal position was nearly impossible. Once I did get him off, I screamed at the other kid to get the next door teacher. The kid from the gang escaped and chased the other kid around the school, throwing furniture at the instigator and screaming. It took me five minutes of chasing them through the halls while the other teacher watched my classroom to get admin or the deputy to help.

It was then that I decided not to teach middle school anymore.

I teach high school now and see my old seventh graders a lot, including fighters. One even apologized to me; most of them want me to teach them when they reach the grade I teach. I just really hope they have chilled out with time...

Impossible

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Young, female high school teacher here.

Worst fight I refused to step in and break up: the two largest, toughest guys in our school got into it in the hallway right in front of my classroom. These were the kind of boys that were already pretty much grown men and each had around 100lbs of muscle on me. I heard yelling in the hallway and turned around just in time to witness one punch the other square in the teeth. He hit him so hard that I swear I could feel the vibrations in the air. Like, I FELT THE PUNCH it was so hard. And oh my god, the sound of it. They then started punching at each other as they rolled around the ground in a HUGE pile of blood that had come from the one's mouth after the first punch. I would have gotten hurt breaking it up. I internally said "f-ck that" and called the office to tell them to send out police resource officer and admins down there ASAP to break up the fight of the decade.

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

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Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

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Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.