
Getting a tattoo can be a nerve-wracking experience. It's a big decision to get something permanently tattooed onto your body. So many thing can go wrong, especially if this is your first tattoo.
Tattoo artists put up with a lot. A lot of people are nervous and not ready to handle the pain of getting a tattoo. There's a high chance of fainting because of it. Then there are the indecisive clients who don't even know what they want in the first place.
Tattoo artists on Reddit shared their hilarious and cringe worthy stories about their worst clients.
Redditor ArthurThyKing asked:
"Tattoo Artists of Reddit, who was your worst 'tattoo virgin'?"
If you're looking to get a tattoo, take some notes.
Mirrors can be deceiving.
"I'll take this one. I had a client who got a Jesus fish with Greek letters on his chest. I put the stencil on, he looks down says "looks good" and we do the tattoo. Guy sits like a CHAMP through his entire first tattoo. I finish up after about 45 minutes, he checks it out in the mirror and immediately goes pale, starts to sweat and sits down."
"Dude looks at me and says 'it's BACKWARDS!' All shook. I look at his tattoo, look at him on the floor, look at the mirror and tell the guy 'I'm gonna take a photo of it for you to see, because you don't know how mirrors work.' A couple minutes go by as I'm handing the dude paper towels, The guy stands up all quick and try's to play it off like he was just messing with me even though for a minute there, there was a corpse on my studio floor...."
"Okay no lie, that is exactly what happened to one of the football players at my old high school. Our school logo was a capital F between two offset parentheses (it was supposed to look like a hurricane, yes it was stupid) and the moron got the tattoo done so that it looked correct in the mirror. He has yet to live it down, and that was ten years ago."
"Getting your high school logo tattooed really screams 'I peaked in high school' But getting it backwards?? That screams 'I haven't peaked and probably never will.'"
Couples tattoo.
"One shop I worked at we had a couple come in on the day we did $100 two inch by two inch tattoos, they both were getting these small triceratops outline tattoos behind their ears, nothing too crazy or detailed so maybe about 15 minutes each in the chair at most."
"The guy is losing his mind, he's hyperventilating, laughing, jumping up and down and yelling questions at all of us, visually very nervous. He tells one of our apprentices that this is his first tattoo and keeps asking them how bad it hurts over and over again, the owner went into the back and grabbed an ammonia packet, worried the guy would pass out the second needle touched skin."
"Turns out it was this couples first date, he had told her he was impulsive and she tried to call his bluff and suggested they get matching tattoos. To his credit he got the tattoo and didn't pass out, paid for them both too!"
"They later got married due to a series of escalating dares."
- MC_Hale
"I feel like if it didn't work out and that was like one of the last dates that would be fine assuming they both like the tattoo on its own merits. Totally fun story. Also if they get married that would be fine obviously. But there's a whole lot of room in between those poles..."
"She continues to push him to more extremes that he isn't comfortable with, they move in together, get engaged, but she grows bored of him and eventually cheats. He finds out and is shattered, struggles to cope and becomes depressed."
"One day he sees the tattoo he got on his first date and returns to the same place to ask about changing it to a less painful memory. The artist is cute, sketches up something that fits him so perfectly it brings tears to his eyes. He isn't even nervous as she works, her smile is so calming and peaceful."
"When it's done she asks why he wanted it changed, and he breaks down and tells her everything. She asks if he wants to get coffee."
Just be honest about how you're feeling.
"It's not the worst, but I love this one. At the expense of my very good client, I generally use this story to help newbs ease in to my chair more comfortably. So it was his first and I'm getting my stencil prepped. He was so nervous, he was basically white. Kept asking if he was good. Yeh he was ok..I guess."
"Place the stencil on him and ask him to take a look. He looks at his arm and immediately passes out in the chair lol. He's sliding out of the chair, we get him back up and he comes to. He got over it, eventually and has his sleeve."
"I am physically laughing out loud at this because unconscious people are such big bags of heavy jello, I can fully picture him, just knees buckled and slowly making his descent to the floor before somebody bodily hoists him back into the chair and proceeds as normal."
"I was getting lettering and dude finally got to my spine. He asked me how I was doing. I said a little light headed, but keep going. He said nope we are stopping for 15 minutes. I guess he's had a bunch of people pass out on him."
"I had the same deal. Got the crook of my elbow done. I was feeling real sh*t but I didn't want to stop because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to start again. The artist noticed me sweating, getting dizzy, and breathing hard. He handed me a glucose tablet and some water then got me a cool towel until I could handle it again."
Know what you want before consulting the artist.
"Not a tattoo artist, just heavily tattooed and have a lot of friends who are artists. Allow me to tell you the story of Danny the Dummy."
"Danny at the time of the story was a 21 year old oil field worker who had more money than sense, he wanted to get an entire sleeve tattoo done but couldn't decide what he wanted, he would come in for a consult, the artist (my friend) would take everything he said and draw up what he wanted, then he would come back and completely change his mind."
"That's not the reason why he's called Danny the Dummy though, he's called that because, among other things, he never once could remember the name of the animal he wanted to get. He first asked for a lion 'pack' in on a mountain with the moon above them and them roaring into it. My artist friend said 'oh you mean like the end of lion king?' and Danny said yes. The next time he came in he said the animal was wrong and when he showed the picture it was a wolf pack, so my artist friend drew that. Danny comes back and decides he doesn't want that, he instead wants an 'eagle in flight,' so my artist friend draws that, and if you guessed the animal was wrong you're keeping up, he in fact wanted an owl in flight.
"After this my artist friend was basically done with Danny, he was going to do this last drawing and if Danny changed his mind again he was going to fire him as a customer and blacklist him in his shop. Well he drew an amazing owl in flight and Danny said he loved it, so finally a date was selected and Danny was going to come in and get it. Well Danny never showed, about half an hour past his appointment time my artist friend calls him and Danny says 'oh damn man, I'm sorry, I'm out of the country today, I'm in North Dakota'.....the artist is based in Arizona, Danny thought that different states were different countries. Never saw or heard from him again and my friend ended up putting that owl on a coworker of his that loved the drawing."
"I hope your friend charged him for each drawing. That's a lot of time and effort. Most artist I've been too usually ask for money down to draw up the concept. One, it means you won't get a no show because they already got money into it. And two, if they no show well you didn't waste your time drawing the art."
"$60/consult."
The irony.
"Not the worst client. But just an unfortunate event. The apprentice at my shop who had only been tattooing for a little under a year was tattooing this girls wrist recently, her first tattoo the word 'undefeated.' Gets the tattoo, it goes smoothly, she likes it, walks to the lobby, shows her dad, he likes it. Walks back to get bandaged up, gets bandaged, they walk back to the counter as he's explaining aftercare she blacks out."
"Falls back hits her head on a giant painting hanging on the wall (an Ed Hardy original) the painting falls, glass breaks. He runs over picks her up and is checking the back of her head. Realizes a giant piece of glass had punctured her shoulder/trap. EMT comes, tell her she needs stitches, they end up having to take her to the emergency room where she got 6 stitches. The next week the girl brought him a giant tub of cookies. She wasn't the worst, but it was an incredibly unfortunate experience for the both of them. His first time having someone pass out and her being 'defeated.'"
"She can claim the tattoo is undefeated. It took her out."
"Hey, she only fainted after leaving the ring. She's still the champ."
"I mean, she lived though! Falling backwards onto glass and only needing 6 stitches? Could have been waaaay worse, that's undefeated to me!"
Strangest Things Seen In A Contract's Terms And Conditions | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Don't haggle with your tattoo artist.
"There's a few different ways you can go with worst. Is worst most reactive? Is worst most picky and unreasonable?"
"I've been pretty lucky in the grand scheme of things. My worst most reactive / annoying client was this dude who was very clearly a drug addict. He came in, wanted a simple tribal tattoo on his stomach, I saw sure no problem but he starts haggling me about the price, at first it was $400, then he said no more than $200, we finally settled on $300 after about 20 minutes of back and forth."
"I get all setup, we start the tattoo, within a minute he says he needs to stand up, that's he's in too much pain and needs to walk around. He walks around for about 2 or 3 minutes, then lays back down, gets tattooed for another couple minutes and then same thing. He does this constantly throughout the entire tattoo. During this time he was constantly scratching his head, twitching all over and complaining loudly. But the worst part wasn't the fact that this 2 hour tattoo turned into almost 4 hours. The worst was that he kept going out for smoke breaks, but kept only taking 2 or 3 puffs, putting the cherry out and then putting the smoke back in his pocket. So all I could smell the entire time was musty cigs, it was disgusting. (The cigarettes smelled old, if you've ever smelled old cigs you know what I'm talking about. He also kept putting it in the pocket that was right beside my face)"
"No chance I'm haggling with somebody who's about to permanently mark my body."
"Best tattoo artist I ever had was when I got my first tattoo. I underestimated how much it would hurt, especially since I decided to get it on my ribs. I asked about half way through if I could take a break and have a smoke. She said, 'I understand, but do you really want to prolong it? I'm half way done. If you can stand to wait 10 more minutes, it'll be done. I think you can power through.' So I waited 10 minutes. Then, she said, 'I think you can wait another 10 minutes.' Really taught me to just sit and just let the artist do their work. Tattoo came out to be more beautiful than I imagined."
"I am not a tattoo artist, but I am a barber and there are some distinct similarities in our work. I wasn't prepared to share this story, but I read your response and needed to share it. My worst haircut ever was a drug addict that was clearly high when he got in my chair. I have cut this individuals hair half a dozen times sometimes he was fine, sometimes on the edge…. This time… oh boy. Granted, as a barber I am only with this client ideally less than 30 minutes."
"Literally every 2 minutes this guy repeated what he wanted. "Fade on the side, a little off the top, you know what you're doing, I'll give you a good tip." This guy went to the bathroom no more, no less, 6 times during my haircut. What would have been a 15 minute haircut tops ended up being almost 40 minutes of constantly hearing that statement. Him taking off the cape and telling me he had to go to the bathroom."
"Now, I am a VERY patient barber. Kids screaming in my chair doesn't phase me in the least. Grumpy old dude just looking to hassle someone… doesn't phase me. I was just about ready to beat the snot out of this guy."
"This is the client I just cannot stand. He gave me a $40 tip, but oh man… It was frustrating. I am happy to say that the last two times he came in he was clean, adopted a dog and has a girlfriend and seems completely happy and normal now. I hope he continues to better himself and stay away from whatever was after him."
The Hello Kitty Lady.
"Not your usual tattoo virgin story more of a rant on my behalf, but I've been tattooing for almost 8 years now. The worst experience I have had with a client, was a lady who my work mates and I would call 'the hello kitty lady' 30 something year old tattoo virgin."
So essentially the design we were working on was Hello Kitty riding a pink Dragon, Half sleeve (shoulder to elbow) now I specialize in Japanese tattoos which for the initial consultation she expressed how much she loved my style of Japanese Dragons, so here's me thinking 'sick, I can smash this dragon out the park and just put a hello kitty on the dragon' easy peasy, booked her in for a full 8hr day."
"So we begin tattooing, we start talking about how much we both loooove art and she's heavily praising the tattoos i do and my tattoo style, suuuper friendly and we're hitting it off. She's talking kinda loud, which I take its because she's understandably nervous, meaning my work mates can easily hear her speaking as well. Fast forward to our 20 min lunch break, I finish eating and so I walk out to front reception where one of my work mates tells me. 'Hey, man I was outside having a smoke with your client, not too sure if she knew I was an artist as well, but she was real upset with how the tattoos going, she says it isn't hurting as much, that you're not doing the tattoo properly because her skins not red (irritated).'
"And she said, 'There's no way I'm paying all that money for a tattoo that isn't done properly,' completely caught me off guard and went against eeeeverything we were talking about. So when we came back to tattooing I made sure to be overly reassuring, letting her know exactly what I was doing and why I was using certain inks which she'd insist were 'too light of a shade of pink' but I knew this pink was going to heal exactly the way she wanted it."
"Anyways we finish up and I get home, check my emails and there are 2 huuuuuuuuuge paragraphs on how much of a sh*t job I've done and that I never did what she asked for (we both clearly agreed to the design before hand, I do this with every one of my clients where I get them to check the design) I reply reassuring her that the tattoo will heal as planned that the colours will settle and that it is easily fixable (I put paw prints on hello kitty to show it was the underside of her paws and not just 2 lil random clouds poking out. But she didn't want them, even though they were in the original design she approved. No worries, I graylined them so they'd be super easy to fix). She replies with another long paragraph on how I should tattoo and listen to my clients wishes which I don't reply to because at this point I know she is overreacting and its her first tattoo."
"2 weeks later she emails saying how much she loves her tattoo, it healed perfectly, the pink was the right shade and that she wants to book in to finish it up."
- XavYoung
"Jesus. Did she apologize for freaking out at you?"
"So I didn't end up finishing I palmed her off to another artist. Basically told her I felt uncomfortable that I wasn't going to meet her expectations (purposely worded it that way) in reality I wanted nothing to do with her lol I was wondering whether I was being a dick for doing so but I even felt uncomfortable emailing her so I did the right thing. She also never apologized didn't even acknowledge her behaviour. Since then I take even more precautions before booking in clients."
- XavYoung
Putting up quite the fuss.
"I was still a tattoo apprentice at the time, and I think I had only done about thirty tattoos or so at the time. All my clients so far had been friends, or friends of friends - very low-pressure situations. This girl was someone I knew casually from college, and she was getting just a little quarter-sized outline of something on her ankle. (A chibi-Totoro, actually.)"
"It was the most nerve-wracking experience. She okay'd the drawing (I'm being generous calling it that; it was literally an outline), I had the stencil, everything is set up. I place it with no issue. She lays down on the bed, and as soon as my foot touches the pedal and my machine starts, she screams. Not a little yelp of surprise, or a little gasp. A full-on scream. I immediately stop the machine, ask her if she's okay."
"'Yeah, I'm fine, it's just a scary noise!'"
"Okay, I understand -- it's loud, it's intense. I try to soothe her and say that she won't have to hear it for more than ten minutes. But as soon as I turn on the machine again, she screams - again. My nerves are shot, my heart is pounding, and at this point I'm telling her that maybe she shouldn't get tattooed today. (Or possibly ever.)"
"'No, it's fine -- just tattoo me through it!' Alrighty then. I turn on the machine - cue a small shriek - and go to make one line. She immediately squirms across the table, yanking her foot away."
"This back and forth ensued for another twenty minutes. I go to tattoo her, she's screaming, she's writhing on the bed, she keeps physically wrenching her body away from me. The needle hasn't even made contact with the skin yet. But she's still arguing with me: just do it, I can handle it, I don't want to leave without a tattoo. At one point, after half-standing to physically hold down her foot, I make a little line."
"This line is literally the size of a sewing stitch in a jacket. It's 1cm long. But she bursts into tears. I entirely give up on the whole tattoo. I told her she clearly wasn't ready, it's not a big deal, and she can just come back to finish it another time. So I bandage it up (it's still a wound, after all), and she goes on her way."
"Getting tattooed (even a little one) can be terrifying, and I don't want to diminish anyone's anxiety or worry about it. A permanent change to your body is always a big deal. However, in this case, she seemed to be playing it up for the friend she brought with her. He had stepped into the front room to check his phone or something, and she started to really act up -- and then would look over to see if he noticed."
"My mentor was with me during this whole process, and she was trying to let me handle it on my own but she actually stepped in towards the end to tell my client that I could not tattoo her with her behaving this way. I was so new that it didn't occur to me I could refuse to keep going. I also suspect that that's why she came back and got it with no big deal; I insisted that she come alone."
"The whole thing was excruciating. Ironically, she did come back and get it finished a few weeks later with minimal fuss."
If you've never gotten a tattoo before, take these tales as helpful tips when getting your first tattoo.
If you've gotten a tattoo before, but you've done something similar to your artist before, take this as a wake up call because they remember their bad clients.
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I've got a decent amount of animals - some fish, turtles, dogs, etc. - but out of all of them, Optimus Prime is definitely *my* pet.
He's kind of a jerk to everyone else, but a with me he's a the biggest bestest beefaroni boy.
That is an outright lie, this dog is awfully behaved and taught himself how to open doors so he stays letting mosquitos in the house and air conditioning all of South Florida instead of just my living room. I just have a soft spot for him.
But here's the thing - soft spot or not, if someone offered me $50k for this dog, my reaction wouldn't be horror because I just love my "shmoopies" and even can't imagine. I'm not that privileged.
I grew up poor, believe me I've imagined $50k a lot. "Shmoops" might get voted off the island when $50k keeps your babies safe and housed. Relax, animal lovers. Optimus Prime is in no danger of going anywhere.
Nobody is tryna pay $50k to be headbutted and farted at all day.
That fact is precisely why my reaction to someone offering me cash for him would be straight up suspicion.
Optimus is a big beautiful male pit bull with so much muscle that he has abs on his butt.
He doesn't have any official papers, and he's fixed so he can't be used for breeding.
He's not a therapy dog and doesn't do any special tricks (on purpose) and in the time it took me to write this intro he farted so loudly that he scared himself awake and then got so excited by the sudden wake up that he did 3 bunny bounces. It's clear this would not be a high-skilled-labor kind of hire, ya know?
So why would someone want to spend that much money on this dog specifically?
Hmm?
I'd be suspicious that anyone willing to drop serious money on him was going to try to use his size and strength in dog fights and THAT is not gonna fly with me. Not a chance.
The person offering would have to convince me that they're willing to spend that much money on a giant dumb pit bull for some non-fighting reason and that he would have a dope life. Maybe I'd say yes because they sincerely believe he's the reincarnated spirit of their college bro who died in a horrific skiing accident, and they need to take him on a cross country road trip to fulfill the last thing on their bromantic bucket list?
Maybe.
Reddit user spondgbob asked:
"If someone offered you $50,000 to buy your pet, how would you respond?"
Here's what Reddit has to say.
Outside
"I'd tell them to meet me outside the local PetSmart in an hour and then rush there and buy a hamster or something."
"Kind of my only option since I don't have a pet."
- eleven_eighteen
"You sir, are playing 3D chess while the rest of us are all playing checkers."
- StillAll
Irrational Love
"Great question."
"Made me think for a second because my immediate answer is no but upon thinking about it, and how badly I need the money, the answer is still no."
"Irrational love is crazy."
- To_Fight_The_Night
"Same."
"I could desperately use that money and there's nothing special about my cats. Took a moment to realize it's completely irrational but I could never part with these idiots."
"The harder question after this is at what price point, if any, would you do it?"
- joyfall
Everything Has A Price
"Everything has a price, and they’re in luck that the price for my blind, deaf, arthritic dog happens to be $50k"
- DoctorDblYou
"I mean $50k is $50k."
- MinnesotaMiller
"Like I get that some people view pets as family, good for them. I don't, so as long as they weren't gonna torture the animal or something, then 100% would do it."
- avelak
Poo Problems
" 'You may have the one that runs from it's own poo after it sh*ts' "
- Blastin-Ass
"Had a cat get spooked while sh*tting... when it finished he managed to nuke 4 rooms :( "
- tuffymon
"I call what my dog does a 'poop-about.' "
"Like a walk-about, but she is pooping as she waddles around the yard sniffing rocks and stuff. She's a weird critter and I love her more than anything."
- cycloptopussy
"One of my earliest memory is having a blast farting in the bathtub... and then..."
"Don't make fun of your pet, your own poop can be very scary and we deserve love no less than more courageous creatures."
- RaccoonyDave·
Bye
"Give it to them."
"I love my aquarium and fish in it. But I could build a sweet aquarium set up with $50k."
- Inner-Nothing7779
"Exactly! I wouldn't sell my dog but I'd give my aquariums away for 50k."
"One of them is a custom that a built a background for and I'd still give it away for 50k."
- RPC3
"Yeah, I would sell my cat in a heartbeat. Call me a narcissist I guess."
"Good thing I dont have kids."
- Maggy_Monster
$100k
"I'll take the $100,000 in cash."
"50k to give him to you and another 50k to take him back tomorrow when you've finally reached your limit and can't keep him anymore."
"My dog has his own spirit animal, and that spirit animal is a bag of dicks."
"My dog has separation anxiety and a powerful set of lungs."
"I have to drop him off at my mom's house on the way to work so he can be with someone familiar or else he'll be howling all day. He sounds like a dying bison."
"I'm talking loud enough to hear inside your house half a block away. While he's *inside* my house!"
- Tobias_Atwood
Medical Needs
"I'd sell."
"My kitty is old at this point and I worry now. Someone willing to pay $50k for her probably has the money to take care of medical needs that will be coming soon. That's money I dont have."
"I love her, she has been my family for 17 years now, but if she gets sick reality is I'm gonna have to get her put down probably. She'd have a better chance with someone rich to spoil her at the end."
- BlueClouds42
Sick Sh*t
"I'm shocked by everyone saying they'd do it?!"
"If someone is willing to pay that much, just imagine the sick sh*t they are planning on doing. No way I could live with myself."
"Would you sell your kid? You can get a lot more than 50k for one of them..."
"I have a hard time believing someone willing to sell a dog for a 'lot of money' wouldn't be tempted to or actually sell a child."
"It's alooooot of money for children, so if money is the motivator...."
- Pepperclue_55
Little Napoleon
"Couldn't sell."
"My a$$hole cat is a jerk, but family. Though I would expect a lot of push to sell him since he is mean to everyone with only rare moments of niceness."
"Plus they whoever got him would likely kill him."
"He is allergic to fish, can't wear a collar even a breakaway one (somehow almost strangled himself twice), sits in the middle of the road if he escapes, eats the random stuff on the ground, randomly attacks people (full on claws, teeth- goes for the veins usually breaks skin and causes a bruise), has diseases, and goes after other animals in the house regardless of size."
"I hate it and get mad at my boyfriend every time he says it, but he jokes that natural selection is trying its best with my cat. He's kind of right."
"He is untrainable and awful, but incredibly cute and everyone wants to pet him (but quickly learn not to go near him.) At least he does not attack kids 5 and under though."
"I wanted to name him lil Napoleon as he is perpetually ready for a battle and a short legged munchkin. I took him in from my sister but couldn't change his name so it became my nickname for him."
- Wolfling
Get Over It
"It is a beta fish that we have had for six days. The kids are currently celebrating it still being alive because they accidentally killed our first fish in about six hours."
"Suffice to say, I’m pretty sure we can get them over it."
"Yes please on the $50,000."
- NurmGurpler
Time to be honest with yourself—would you do it?
What would your reaction be?
Let's argue in the comments!
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Two years ago I steamed a hole in my belly with a hot water bottle that was slightly open.
I didn't feel myself literally cooking because I have nerve damage in the area, but I still have a quarter-sized circular scar as proof!
I've got lots of scars, but my lobster steam stamp is one of my newer additions so it's kind of a fan favorite right now.
Reddit user jeffcarpthefisheater asked:
"Hey, how did you get that scar?"
and Reddit was collectively like :
"Yes, I would like to tell the story of the time I maimed myself and/or was maimed, thanks for asking!"
It's story time, fam.
Sinus Struggles
"They cut across the top of my head, ear to ear, peeled the top of my face down, carved out my frontal sinuses like a pumpkin lid, put me back together, and stapled me shut."
"Repeated sinus infections in the frontal sinuses. Hard to treat."
- phantomtrain69
Me-Ouch
"My childhood cat gave me a diagonal scar across my chest when I was 5 or so."
"She had jumped from my lap and slipped a bit, the scratch was from her back paws. I was sad when it faded many years later."
- YarnTho
"Hmm, I should check something ... brb ... Hey, my boob scar from my cat is still there!"
"That genuinely makes me happy since she passed away more than ten years ago."
"I've got another one from her on my inner elbow. Both are from the one single time I had to give her a bath because she was having an allergic reaction to a flea medication."
"She was Very Displeased with the situation."
- Pammyhead
Carrying A Torch
"My twin brother accidentally took a blowtorch across my forearm while cutting metal in metals class in high school."
- ecsa0014
"I was cutting some square tubing in shop class with a cutting torch."
"I cut it just fine ... and then immediately picked it up, burning a square into my palm."
- sentondan
Samurai Shenanigans
"From a samurai sword."
"It was the first time I'd ever been around people my age drinking. A friend of mine took a fake swing at me; I grabbed the blade reflexively, he yanked it out of my hand."
"Cut pretty deep, hurt like a b*tch."
"But how many people today have scars caused by samurai swords?"
- Odd__Assist
"I also have a samurai sword scar!!"
"Mines on my right knuckle as the hand guards did not do anything for guarding my inexperienced hands. Nearly completely severed the tendon."
"I was sober and in high school."
- GENERALR0SE
Wild Berry
"Got severely burned by a wild berry pop tart."
"I was very young maybe 7-8. I was sitting on the counter and when I pulled the pop tart out of the toaster, the frosting was so hot it was bubbling."
"I dropped it out of reflex and it landed frosting side down on my leg. I remember brushing it off and my skin melted off with it."
"I had to go to the emergency room."
"Now 15 years later and I still have the scars on my leg, no hair grows where it was burned."
"No one told me poptarts could turn hostile. I was so young and naive, innocent to the world and the horrors it possesses."
"Wild berry pop tart showed me pain, showed me torture, scarred me for life. I shall never forget, and I shall never forgive."
- Snowfreak2507
"That's why I stick to domesticated Pop-Tarts."
- adrianmonk
The Foam Pit
"My legs are all kinds of f*cked up."
"I lost track of which scars came from where, but the ones on my right leg are the gnarliest and those I definitely remember."
"A couple of years ago a friend of mine took me to an indoor bike park. Ramps and jumps and a pump track. It was a lot of fun."
"Well he talked me into going off of this big jump into a foam pit; the kind where you can practice tricks without getting hurt. Well.....I got hurt."
"I landed in the foam pit. It's just that the bike landed there first and I landed directly on top of the bike. Despite the foam padding I ripped my leg to shreds on the pedals."
"Blood everywhere. Thankfully no stitches."
"I'm glad my girlfriend at the time was a nurse."
- Extrasherman
A Cyst On My Spine
"Back surgery to remove a bone cyst on my spine."
"It was squeezing my spinal cord and I could barely walk. That resulted in two surgeries, about a 10" scar down my back, another long one under my armpit (part of the work meant collapsing my lung so they could get to stuff), and a small one on my hip that a bone graft came from."
"My surgeon was great. He rebuilt 2 vertebrae from the grafts, bolted everything together, and I wore a full torso brace for half a year."
"At my last checkup, he said he didn't want to see me again, which I was happy to oblige."
- EvlMinion
Power Ranger Practice
"It was the summer of 1994..."
"I was a Power Ranger practicing some killer ninja moves on the bed in my grandparents' guest bedroom. My head smashed into the ceiling light fixture and one of the shards got me in the leg and sliced it open."
- MichiganBottleDepot
Pizza Rolls And Harry Potter
"Drunkenly decided a French knife was the proper tool for opening Pizza Rolls. It wasn't."
"So I stop with the pizza rolls and grip my finger, now dripping with blood, all the way to the bathroom. I patched it up in the bathroom and went to go lie down on the couch. Except I never made it."
"Woke up on the floor to my roommates shaking me awake, saying that they 'heard a sound and called out, but got concerned' when I didn't answer them."
"I had turned the corner into the living room too quickly in my stupor and smashed my forehead into the 90⁰ angle of my doorframe. Knocked myself out."
"I cosplay Harry Potter every day now. And yeah, the finger scarred, too."
"Drunken munchies made me fight my house and my house won. Two scars, one bad decision."
- Tri4ceunited
You're up, folks. Tell us how you got that scar.
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Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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