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Tattoo Artists Share Their Funniest 'Tattoo Virgin' Stories

Tattoo Artists Share Their Funniest 'Tattoo Virgin' Stories
Image by ilovetattoos from Pixabay

Getting a tattoo can be a nerve-wracking experience. It's a big decision to get something permanently tattooed onto your body. So many thing can go wrong, especially if this is your first tattoo.

Tattoo artists put up with a lot. A lot of people are nervous and not ready to handle the pain of getting a tattoo. There's a high chance of fainting because of it. Then there are the indecisive clients who don't even know what they want in the first place.

Tattoo artists on Reddit shared their hilarious and cringe worthy stories about their worst clients.

Redditor ArthurThyKing asked:

"Tattoo Artists of Reddit, who was your worst 'tattoo virgin'?"

If you're looking to get a tattoo, take some notes.

Mirrors can be deceiving.

"I'll take this one. I had a client who got a Jesus fish with Greek letters on his chest. I put the stencil on, he looks down says "looks good" and we do the tattoo. Guy sits like a CHAMP through his entire first tattoo. I finish up after about 45 minutes, he checks it out in the mirror and immediately goes pale, starts to sweat and sits down."

"Dude looks at me and says 'it's BACKWARDS!' All shook. I look at his tattoo, look at him on the floor, look at the mirror and tell the guy 'I'm gonna take a photo of it for you to see, because you don't know how mirrors work.' A couple minutes go by as I'm handing the dude paper towels, The guy stands up all quick and try's to play it off like he was just messing with me even though for a minute there, there was a corpse on my studio floor...."

- tattoosbyjerad

"Okay no lie, that is exactly what happened to one of the football players at my old high school. Our school logo was a capital F between two offset parentheses (it was supposed to look like a hurricane, yes it was stupid) and the moron got the tattoo done so that it looked correct in the mirror. He has yet to live it down, and that was ten years ago."

- ArchaicGeek

"Getting your high school logo tattooed really screams 'I peaked in high school' But getting it backwards?? That screams 'I haven't peaked and probably never will.'"

- luckyveggie

Couples tattoo.

"One shop I worked at we had a couple come in on the day we did $100 two inch by two inch tattoos, they both were getting these small triceratops outline tattoos behind their ears, nothing too crazy or detailed so maybe about 15 minutes each in the chair at most."

"The guy is losing his mind, he's hyperventilating, laughing, jumping up and down and yelling questions at all of us, visually very nervous. He tells one of our apprentices that this is his first tattoo and keeps asking them how bad it hurts over and over again, the owner went into the back and grabbed an ammonia packet, worried the guy would pass out the second needle touched skin."

"Turns out it was this couples first date, he had told her he was impulsive and she tried to call his bluff and suggested they get matching tattoos. To his credit he got the tattoo and didn't pass out, paid for them both too!"

- Hellcathowl

"They later got married due to a series of escalating dares."

- MC_Hale

"I feel like if it didn't work out and that was like one of the last dates that would be fine assuming they both like the tattoo on its own merits. Totally fun story. Also if they get married that would be fine obviously. But there's a whole lot of room in between those poles..."

- transitionalities

"She continues to push him to more extremes that he isn't comfortable with, they move in together, get engaged, but she grows bored of him and eventually cheats. He finds out and is shattered, struggles to cope and becomes depressed."

"One day he sees the tattoo he got on his first date and returns to the same place to ask about changing it to a less painful memory. The artist is cute, sketches up something that fits him so perfectly it brings tears to his eyes. He isn't even nervous as she works, her smile is so calming and peaceful."

"When it's done she asks why he wanted it changed, and he breaks down and tells her everything. She asks if he wants to get coffee."

- iruleatants

Just be honest about how you're feeling.

"It's not the worst, but I love this one. At the expense of my very good client, I generally use this story to help newbs ease in to my chair more comfortably. So it was his first and I'm getting my stencil prepped. He was so nervous, he was basically white. Kept asking if he was good. Yeh he was ok..I guess."

"Place the stencil on him and ask him to take a look. He looks at his arm and immediately passes out in the chair lol. He's sliding out of the chair, we get him back up and he comes to. He got over it, eventually and has his sleeve."


"I am physically laughing out loud at this because unconscious people are such big bags of heavy jello, I can fully picture him, just knees buckled and slowly making his descent to the floor before somebody bodily hoists him back into the chair and proceeds as normal."

- Neurotic_Bakeder

"I was getting lettering and dude finally got to my spine. He asked me how I was doing. I said a little light headed, but keep going. He said nope we are stopping for 15 minutes. I guess he's had a bunch of people pass out on him."

- DaggerMoth

"I had the same deal. Got the crook of my elbow done. I was feeling real sh*t but I didn't want to stop because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to start again. The artist noticed me sweating, getting dizzy, and breathing hard. He handed me a glucose tablet and some water then got me a cool towel until I could handle it again."

- smaugismyhomeboy

Know what you want before consulting the artist.

"Not a tattoo artist, just heavily tattooed and have a lot of friends who are artists. Allow me to tell you the story of Danny the Dummy."

"Danny at the time of the story was a 21 year old oil field worker who had more money than sense, he wanted to get an entire sleeve tattoo done but couldn't decide what he wanted, he would come in for a consult, the artist (my friend) would take everything he said and draw up what he wanted, then he would come back and completely change his mind."

"That's not the reason why he's called Danny the Dummy though, he's called that because, among other things, he never once could remember the name of the animal he wanted to get. He first asked for a lion 'pack' in on a mountain with the moon above them and them roaring into it. My artist friend said 'oh you mean like the end of lion king?' and Danny said yes. The next time he came in he said the animal was wrong and when he showed the picture it was a wolf pack, so my artist friend drew that. Danny comes back and decides he doesn't want that, he instead wants an 'eagle in flight,' so my artist friend draws that, and if you guessed the animal was wrong you're keeping up, he in fact wanted an owl in flight.

"After this my artist friend was basically done with Danny, he was going to do this last drawing and if Danny changed his mind again he was going to fire him as a customer and blacklist him in his shop. Well he drew an amazing owl in flight and Danny said he loved it, so finally a date was selected and Danny was going to come in and get it. Well Danny never showed, about half an hour past his appointment time my artist friend calls him and Danny says 'oh damn man, I'm sorry, I'm out of the country today, I'm in North Dakota'.....the artist is based in Arizona, Danny thought that different states were different countries. Never saw or heard from him again and my friend ended up putting that owl on a coworker of his that loved the drawing."

- amalgamas

"I hope your friend charged him for each drawing. That's a lot of time and effort. Most artist I've been too usually ask for money down to draw up the concept. One, it means you won't get a no show because they already got money into it. And two, if they no show well you didn't waste your time drawing the art."

- Metal-Butterfly


- amalgamas

The irony.

"Not the worst client. But just an unfortunate event. The apprentice at my shop who had only been tattooing for a little under a year was tattooing this girls wrist recently, her first tattoo the word 'undefeated.' Gets the tattoo, it goes smoothly, she likes it, walks to the lobby, shows her dad, he likes it. Walks back to get bandaged up, gets bandaged, they walk back to the counter as he's explaining aftercare she blacks out."

"Falls back hits her head on a giant painting hanging on the wall (an Ed Hardy original) the painting falls, glass breaks. He runs over picks her up and is checking the back of her head. Realizes a giant piece of glass had punctured her shoulder/trap. EMT comes, tell her she needs stitches, they end up having to take her to the emergency room where she got 6 stitches. The next week the girl brought him a giant tub of cookies. She wasn't the worst, but it was an incredibly unfortunate experience for the both of them. His first time having someone pass out and her being 'defeated.'"

- tattoocaleb

"She can claim the tattoo is undefeated. It took her out."

- GloInTheDarkUnicorn

"Hey, she only fainted after leaving the ring. She's still the champ."

- ActuallySatanAMA

"I mean, she lived though! Falling backwards onto glass and only needing 6 stitches? Could have been waaaay worse, that's undefeated to me!"

- jumpsteadeh

Strangest Things Seen In A Contract's Terms And Conditions | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Don't haggle with your tattoo artist.

"There's a few different ways you can go with worst. Is worst most reactive? Is worst most picky and unreasonable?"

"I've been pretty lucky in the grand scheme of things. My worst most reactive / annoying client was this dude who was very clearly a drug addict. He came in, wanted a simple tribal tattoo on his stomach, I saw sure no problem but he starts haggling me about the price, at first it was $400, then he said no more than $200, we finally settled on $300 after about 20 minutes of back and forth."

"I get all setup, we start the tattoo, within a minute he says he needs to stand up, that's he's in too much pain and needs to walk around. He walks around for about 2 or 3 minutes, then lays back down, gets tattooed for another couple minutes and then same thing. He does this constantly throughout the entire tattoo. During this time he was constantly scratching his head, twitching all over and complaining loudly. But the worst part wasn't the fact that this 2 hour tattoo turned into almost 4 hours. The worst was that he kept going out for smoke breaks, but kept only taking 2 or 3 puffs, putting the cherry out and then putting the smoke back in his pocket. So all I could smell the entire time was musty cigs, it was disgusting. (The cigarettes smelled old, if you've ever smelled old cigs you know what I'm talking about. He also kept putting it in the pocket that was right beside my face)"


"No chance I'm haggling with somebody who's about to permanently mark my body."

- Barbarossa7070

"Best tattoo artist I ever had was when I got my first tattoo. I underestimated how much it would hurt, especially since I decided to get it on my ribs. I asked about half way through if I could take a break and have a smoke. She said, 'I understand, but do you really want to prolong it? I'm half way done. If you can stand to wait 10 more minutes, it'll be done. I think you can power through.' So I waited 10 minutes. Then, she said, 'I think you can wait another 10 minutes.' Really taught me to just sit and just let the artist do their work. Tattoo came out to be more beautiful than I imagined."

- sillybanana2012

"I am not a tattoo artist, but I am a barber and there are some distinct similarities in our work. I wasn't prepared to share this story, but I read your response and needed to share it. My worst haircut ever was a drug addict that was clearly high when he got in my chair. I have cut this individuals hair half a dozen times sometimes he was fine, sometimes on the edge…. This time… oh boy. Granted, as a barber I am only with this client ideally less than 30 minutes."

"Literally every 2 minutes this guy repeated what he wanted. "Fade on the side, a little off the top, you know what you're doing, I'll give you a good tip." This guy went to the bathroom no more, no less, 6 times during my haircut. What would have been a 15 minute haircut tops ended up being almost 40 minutes of constantly hearing that statement. Him taking off the cape and telling me he had to go to the bathroom."

"Now, I am a VERY patient barber. Kids screaming in my chair doesn't phase me in the least. Grumpy old dude just looking to hassle someone… doesn't phase me. I was just about ready to beat the snot out of this guy."

"This is the client I just cannot stand. He gave me a $40 tip, but oh man… It was frustrating. I am happy to say that the last two times he came in he was clean, adopted a dog and has a girlfriend and seems completely happy and normal now. I hope he continues to better himself and stay away from whatever was after him."

- Vendetta5885

The Hello Kitty Lady.

"Not your usual tattoo virgin story more of a rant on my behalf, but I've been tattooing for almost 8 years now. The worst experience I have had with a client, was a lady who my work mates and I would call 'the hello kitty lady' 30 something year old tattoo virgin."

So essentially the design we were working on was Hello Kitty riding a pink Dragon, Half sleeve (shoulder to elbow) now I specialize in Japanese tattoos which for the initial consultation she expressed how much she loved my style of Japanese Dragons, so here's me thinking 'sick, I can smash this dragon out the park and just put a hello kitty on the dragon' easy peasy, booked her in for a full 8hr day."

"So we begin tattooing, we start talking about how much we both loooove art and she's heavily praising the tattoos i do and my tattoo style, suuuper friendly and we're hitting it off. She's talking kinda loud, which I take its because she's understandably nervous, meaning my work mates can easily hear her speaking as well. Fast forward to our 20 min lunch break, I finish eating and so I walk out to front reception where one of my work mates tells me. 'Hey, man I was outside having a smoke with your client, not too sure if she knew I was an artist as well, but she was real upset with how the tattoos going, she says it isn't hurting as much, that you're not doing the tattoo properly because her skins not red (irritated).'

"And she said, 'There's no way I'm paying all that money for a tattoo that isn't done properly,' completely caught me off guard and went against eeeeverything we were talking about. So when we came back to tattooing I made sure to be overly reassuring, letting her know exactly what I was doing and why I was using certain inks which she'd insist were 'too light of a shade of pink' but I knew this pink was going to heal exactly the way she wanted it."

"Anyways we finish up and I get home, check my emails and there are 2 huuuuuuuuuge paragraphs on how much of a sh*t job I've done and that I never did what she asked for (we both clearly agreed to the design before hand, I do this with every one of my clients where I get them to check the design) I reply reassuring her that the tattoo will heal as planned that the colours will settle and that it is easily fixable (I put paw prints on hello kitty to show it was the underside of her paws and not just 2 lil random clouds poking out. But she didn't want them, even though they were in the original design she approved. No worries, I graylined them so they'd be super easy to fix). She replies with another long paragraph on how I should tattoo and listen to my clients wishes which I don't reply to because at this point I know she is overreacting and its her first tattoo."

"2 weeks later she emails saying how much she loves her tattoo, it healed perfectly, the pink was the right shade and that she wants to book in to finish it up."

- XavYoung

"Jesus. Did she apologize for freaking out at you?"

- casseroled

"So I didn't end up finishing I palmed her off to another artist. Basically told her I felt uncomfortable that I wasn't going to meet her expectations (purposely worded it that way) in reality I wanted nothing to do with her lol I was wondering whether I was being a dick for doing so but I even felt uncomfortable emailing her so I did the right thing. She also never apologized didn't even acknowledge her behaviour. Since then I take even more precautions before booking in clients."

- XavYoung

Putting up quite the fuss.

"I was still a tattoo apprentice at the time, and I think I had only done about thirty tattoos or so at the time. All my clients so far had been friends, or friends of friends - very low-pressure situations. This girl was someone I knew casually from college, and she was getting just a little quarter-sized outline of something on her ankle. (A chibi-Totoro, actually.)"

"It was the most nerve-wracking experience. She okay'd the drawing (I'm being generous calling it that; it was literally an outline), I had the stencil, everything is set up. I place it with no issue. She lays down on the bed, and as soon as my foot touches the pedal and my machine starts, she screams. Not a little yelp of surprise, or a little gasp. A full-on scream. I immediately stop the machine, ask her if she's okay."

"'Yeah, I'm fine, it's just a scary noise!'"

"Okay, I understand -- it's loud, it's intense. I try to soothe her and say that she won't have to hear it for more than ten minutes. But as soon as I turn on the machine again, she screams - again. My nerves are shot, my heart is pounding, and at this point I'm telling her that maybe she shouldn't get tattooed today. (Or possibly ever.)"

"'No, it's fine -- just tattoo me through it!' Alrighty then. I turn on the machine - cue a small shriek - and go to make one line. She immediately squirms across the table, yanking her foot away."

"This back and forth ensued for another twenty minutes. I go to tattoo her, she's screaming, she's writhing on the bed, she keeps physically wrenching her body away from me. The needle hasn't even made contact with the skin yet. But she's still arguing with me: just do it, I can handle it, I don't want to leave without a tattoo. At one point, after half-standing to physically hold down her foot, I make a little line."

"This line is literally the size of a sewing stitch in a jacket. It's 1cm long. But she bursts into tears. I entirely give up on the whole tattoo. I told her she clearly wasn't ready, it's not a big deal, and she can just come back to finish it another time. So I bandage it up (it's still a wound, after all), and she goes on her way."

"Getting tattooed (even a little one) can be terrifying, and I don't want to diminish anyone's anxiety or worry about it. A permanent change to your body is always a big deal. However, in this case, she seemed to be playing it up for the friend she brought with her. He had stepped into the front room to check his phone or something, and she started to really act up -- and then would look over to see if he noticed."

"My mentor was with me during this whole process, and she was trying to let me handle it on my own but she actually stepped in towards the end to tell my client that I could not tattoo her with her behaving this way. I was so new that it didn't occur to me I could refuse to keep going. I also suspect that that's why she came back and got it with no big deal; I insisted that she come alone."

"The whole thing was excruciating. Ironically, she did come back and get it finished a few weeks later with minimal fuss."

- deadwittingly

If you've never gotten a tattoo before, take these tales as helpful tips when getting your first tattoo.

If you've gotten a tattoo before, but you've done something similar to your artist before, take this as a wake up call because they remember their bad clients.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

People Break Down The Craziest Money-Making Schemes They've Ever Heard Of

Reddit user primeiro23 asked: 'What are the craziest ways you’ve heard of people making money?'

When I was in seventh grade, I had aspirations to be a poet. I made a Mother's Day card for my mom with a cute (but now, cringe-worthy) poem inside, and a hand-drawn picture of a rose that took me hours to perfect.

A friend saw the card and said they wished they could do the same. Then suddenly, she asked if she could buy the card from me. I said no, since I needed to give it to my own mother, but I said I could make her a copy. From there, my friend got the idea for me to make copies of the card to sell. I went along with it, mostly because I didn't think it would actually work.

Turns out, it did. After making sure people would actually be interested, we went to the library after school and made several color copies of my card for 10 cents each. The next day, we sold each card for $1. Not only did we make enough money so that my friend and I could both afford to get our moms an actual present in addition to the card, but we had enough leftover to put us over the top for the money we needed to buy the matching faux leather jackets we'd been wanting all year.

The next year, many people who bought cards asked me to do it again, so I did. Once again, we made a killing. We didn't try to do it again once we got to high school, but it was definitely fun while it lasted.

When we tell people this story, they think it's a pretty crazy money-making scheme. Maybe it is, but we're not the only ones who ever did anything like this. Redditors know all about crazy money-making schemes, and are eager to share their own stories.

It all started when Redditor primeiro23 asked:

"What are the craziest ways you’ve heard of people making money?"

Tumble Into Business

"In college, I take a class on how to start & run a small business. Prof tells us to think of ridiculous business models for our fictitious businesses as we will get more out of the class that way. Stupid ideas ensue. Selling paperclips door to door, refilling car gasoline tanks in people's driveways, service to read & summarize the newspaper to executives etc."

"One classmate decides he is going to sell tumbleweed."

"Guess who quits college and started a successful business? Tumbleweed guy. Takes a van to the desert, collects tumbleweed and sells them to Hollywood movie & TV studios who need them. Keeps the tumbleweed in a warehouse and since they never spoil, his only costs are gasoline, storage & a website. He eventually becomes the number one tumbleweed provider to studios around the world, shipping tumbleweed globally."

"Made a heap of money selling what millions of people drive by and ignore every year."

– Accomplished-Fig745


"I did have a job reading and summarizing newspaper articles to the boss. Literally only task I was hired for."

– Draigdwi

"An actual union job in the film industry is reading scripts and summarizing them in short mean book reports."

– Trixiebees


"Heard of crazier, but a guy I know, friend of my mother's, went to Texas 30+ years ago. (we are from Norway), and he noticed every single garden had a trampoline. And it was almost always "jump king" - the circular with blue mat ones."

"So he went to the HQ, bought 10 and took back to Norway. Within days they were sold, and he ordered 50 more, same thing. So he became the only importer and has God knows how many millions to his name today."

– alexdaland

"This IS wild. I went to Norway recently and one of the first things I noticed was that almost EVERY yard had a trampoline in it."

– TrulyMadlyCheaply

Working For A Home

"Back when Dogecoin took off I wrote a guide on recovering old lost wallets and it got so popular I was flooded with requests for further help. Some corrupted wallet files, some lost passwords, etc."

"I have a background in computer science and experience in data retrieval and password cracking, so I started helping people in exchange for a percentage cut (industry standard for wallet recovery). All above board with a contract and everything."

"For a while I was getting new clients every week and making hundreds up to thousands of dollars on every successful recovery (with a fairly good rate of success). The biggest one I ever recovered was a 19 letter long password someone had lost. The work dried up when the price of doge dropped but it got me the down-payment on a house."

– internetpillows

Horsing Around

"A cabbie in Dublin once told me a story about one of his fares who had a brilliant hustle."

"The guy was a sculptor. He would watch horse races, then when a horse won, he'd use social media to contact the owner directly with a digital mockup of a life-sized sculpture of the winning horse. Now, the people who own winning racehorses tend to be very rich - we're talking sheikhs, oligarchs, billionaires. Every now and again, one of these owners would bite, and spend €100,000 euros or so on a statue commemorating their animal's win."

"Dude only did a couple a year, and spent the rest of the time living the good life."

– escoterica


"Richest guy in a rich town near us makes enormous amounts of money buying Hershey bars and rewrapping them with customised retirement celebration designs or corporate logos to be given away at events. Literally just rewraps them in pieces of paper and doubles or triples his money."

"Every time I try to start a company or invent a better product or something, I ask myself why I’m not just rewrapping candy bars."

– perchance2cream

"F**k man, I think I found my new niche."

– LibertyPrimeIsASage

Slightly Used

"I went to college in a capitol C college town. A friend of mine bought an old school bus, fixed it up and took out all the seats."

"At the end of every semester she would drive around the neighborhood that was the fancier side of off campus living and collect whatever the rich kids were throwing out before they moved / went home for the summer. Flat screen TVs, couches, computers, tables, it was wild to see what people would chuck out and replace the next semester rather than having to deal with getting a storage unit or moving themselves."

"Sold it all on Craigslist over the summer or the beginning of the next semester and made a killing."

– sam_neil

Credit Where Credit Is Undue

"When I worked in a really busy, upscale restaurant my coworker would put all of his cash-paying customer’s bills on his credit card and keep the cash which he used to promptly pay off his credit card."

"He did this all day, every day for quite a while and the points started to add up and he was getting free airfare, etc."

"Worked great for a while until management notice a rise in credit card processing fees with an emphasis on one employee and they shut him down real quick."

– blinkysmurf

We Found Gold!

"My buddy worked his way through college by panning for gold. This was in 2009 in California. Most days he made nothing, occasionally he would come home with a couple hundred bucks worth and I think once he found a night worth over $1k."

– discostud1515

"My cousin had a metal detector when he was in HS. He would go every weekend down to the lake and take it with him on vacation. He found all kinds of things. He did find gold jewelry and would sell it online. He made so much money he bought his own car."

– Content_Pool_1391

Sleeping For The Job

"I knew a woman whose job was literally to sleep."

"A local office building owner wanted somebody on-site 24/7 to be the point of contact with first responders if they ever needed to be called. So they hired her to come in to the building in the evening when the maintenance crew was finishing their work. And she would settle up to sleep for the night in a bedroom they'd set aside for her. In the morning she'd hand the building back over to the office employees and go on about her day."

"No first responders were ever called. It's about the least stressful legitimate job I could ever imagine."

– CaptainTime5556

The Secret

"Back in the 90s, I knew a guy who put an ad in the classified section of the newspaper which read something along the lines of, “For $10, I’ll tell you my secret to making easy money. Send $10 cash to (address) to find out how.” People would send him $10 & he would then instruct them to put a classified ad in the newspaper telling people to send $10 & how to make money."

– freudianfalls

Accident Payment

"I was pushed down the stairs by a teen girl who told me to "pay attention and get out of her way" i ripped my dress during the fall and was getting back up when some guy rushed up to me, apologized for his daughter and handed me $500 as compensation."

– thebrilliantcounc

"LOL - years back, I was in a parking lot during a snowstorm. A guy was trying to pull around me, slid on the snow/ice and hit into my passenger side door. It really and truly was an accident. He was all apologies. We exchanged info - he said to get a quote and he would pay for the damage."

"Well, the car I was driving at the time was a crappy old Ford worth maybe $500. But, I went to a body shop, got a quote on the repair and it was $900. I faxed it to him (this was back in the 90's, LOL) thinking he'd tell me to go through the insurance company and just have the car totaled out."

"To my surprise, I had a bank check for $900 from him in my mailbox three days later. Now, I already owned another car, so I pocketed the $900, sold the smashed car for parts for $300 and ended up with $1200 on a car that was worth only $500 before the accident. I was very glad that he ran into me!"

– Deleted User

Only Feet

"I have a friend who sells pictures of her feet. In heels. Barefoot squishing cake. In mud. She charges extra for special requests. Has strict ‘no go’ rules. Never shows anything above the calf so she can’t be identified (no tats). All proceeds go to her kid’s college fund. Has made enough to fund a PhD."

– NotACrazyCatLadyx2

The things people do for money! But, I guess it works for her!

hospital waiting area
Martha Dominguez de Gouveia on Unsplash

When we're in pain or scared, we're not on our best behavior.

We've got more important things on our minds than proper etiquette.

Couple our lowered inhibitions with the bizarre amalgam that is the human body and weirdness is bound to happen in hospital waiting rooms.

Keep reading...Show less

No matter how good it might be, no relationship is 100% perfect 100% of the time.

On the contrary, there are some relationships that seem pretty doomed to fail, and it's disheartening how many signs we can spot of the relationship coming apart, perhaps even before the couple themselves is aware of it.

But as clear as a sign of trouble might be, it can feel impossible to talk to a loved one about it when it's about their relationship.

Redditor AnitaDeckenme123 asked:

"What are some signs that your married friend doesn't have a good marriage?"

All Joking Aside

"Talking s**t about their spouse, even if it’s in a joking way, is a clear sign to me. I went to a bachelor party with a bunch of guys I didn’t know and they spent the entire time b***hing about their wives, and they all sounded miserable."

- FunctionBuilt

Desperate to Hide the Truth

"They are withdrawn or secretive. If your friend is suddenly withdrawn or secretive, it may be a sign that they are having problems in their marriage."

- LiaRipsx

Weird Gestures to "Mark Their Territory"

"His hang glider now has a full-sized graphic of his spouse holding the cat on it. And he wasn't asked beforehand."

- BarcodeNinja

Hypothetical Divorces

"They talk about divorce hypothetically."

- LaximumEffort

"Okay, but what if, say, I am watching a lot of true crime murder shows, and he tells me we can just get a divorce instead of me killing him? Does that count? Lol (laughing out loud)."

- HopefulKitty

Detached Relationship

"When they don’t care what the other person is doing or where they are. Basically, two people who live separate lives and live like roommates."

- Lucyinthesky

"My friend never says anything bad about her husband, but she also doesn't speak about him much at all. They’ve been married less than a year, but she's said things like not caring what he's up to a couple of times, and it made me wonder if that was normal in marriage. It feels wrong."

- happinessinasong88

Fighting in Public

"I’ve known two different couples that off and on fought a lot around me at certain points, which isn’t obviously a great sign."

"The fighting stopped, but what I realized after a while that may be worse is that they didn’t interact at all unless absolutely necessary."

"I’m mostly oblivious, so it took my wife pointing it out to notice that both of these couples never really talk to each other besides mandatory stuff like plans or the kids."

"No casual conversations, no eye contact, no touching each other; literally no interaction that’s not necessary for the family to function."

"I suppose it’s better than fighting in public, but it’s kind of weird once you notice it."

- non_clever_username

Social Media Cover Stories

"If they're plastering social media with how HAPPY they are, and they're SO IN LOVE, and THEY'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER, that's a sure sign that things are in the process of going sideways."

- wilderlowerwolves

"This confuses me SO much. I have two close friends (women) who have been texting me nonstop about how s**tty their significant others are, like going OFF about them, long voice messages, etc."

"Then between messages, I will open Facebook and see they just made a post about how much they love their partner with a cute picture and tons of hearts and s**t."

"Like... WHAT. I have never called them out, but what the h**l?"

- perfectdrug659

"Gah, my BIL (Brother-in-Law) divorced after a short two-year marriage, and this was the prime indicator of knowing that they were doomed."

"They did this kissy cutesy schmoopy lovey-dovey thing in public, and the worse their relationship got, the more publicly showy they were about showing how in love they were. It was horrific to watch unfold."

- abqkat

Controlling and Jealous Behavior

"In my experience, going out with my old homie that was married, I couldn't ever post us out at the bar or anything. If his wife saw it, she’d blow her top apparently."

"We went out for my 23rd birthday a couple of years ago and merely his elbow was in the video of me sipping on whatever drink I had. In a panic, he urged that I delete it before his wife saw it for whatever reason."

"They’re divorced now."

- jailbreakthetesla_

Mean to Their Partner

"When their identity is the 'person who is mean to their spouse.'"

"I was at a party this weekend and there was a woman who just bad-mouthed her husband and talked about how nice it was to be away from him and the kids for the night. That’s like her shtick… she talks about how her kids and husband are s**tty. It’s such a gross personality, and it’s relatively common. It shouldn’t be common at all."

- SpacemanPete

Flirting Elsewhere

"They flirt a lot. A lot of unhappily married people I know are quick to flirt with anyone who seems interested because they want to feel that spark again."

- FlatulentDwarf

Constant Check-Ins

"When one of them is out and their spouse does not stop calling them."

- BansheeShriek

"I can't imagine living like that. I took a 10-day road trip to the beach alone, and all my husband asked of me was to keep my location turned on in case of an accident, and text a few times a day so he knew I was alive. That's trust."

- HopefulKitty

The Depression or Glow Up Era

"If they suddenly seem really down on themselves or stop taking care of themselves for seemingly no reason, If their outlook on relationships and/or marriage had changed since getting married, If they have nothing good to say about their partner or just don't talk about them..."

"The list goes on."

- Misspent_interlude

"Or reverse, they start glowing up. They lose weight, focus on appearance more, it means they're getting ready to split."

- Alternative-Post-937

Wishful Widows

"When my husband died, some friends admitted that they were a little jealous."

- emmymcd

"My ex-husband responded, 'One can only hope,' and looked at me when he heard someone’s wife died."

- foldinthecheese89

"I would never say this to someone, but I understand the sentiment. I absolutely wished my ex-husband dead a handful of times. It's one of those things where you can't leave because I had very little money of my own and staying meant living with abuse."

- IsThatBlueSoup

Jealous of Working Relationships

"It's bad when you avoid or feel guilty talking about how happy you are or about the nice and thoughtful things that your partner does because you know your friend can't relate."

- anemic_girlfriend

"Yikes. This is how I am with a friend group of mine. They’re always complaining about their husbands, and I stay silent. I don’t want to rub it in that I love my husband and he’s mostly awesome. In the past two years, one has gotten divorced and another is on her way there."

- Nonny70

"It gets weird for me when people are like, 'Must be nice to get away from the wife' if I'm on a work trip or something."

"I don't understand. I sleep better when my wife's next to me, I feel better about the day when I get to see her and talk to her, she makes me smile all the damn time."

"Everybody on the planet is a very distant second on my list of people I want to be around, and even though we do plenty of things separately I don't see time apart as some sort of reprieve from her presence."

- HereToTheSquatch

Wishing They Were Out

"I got married young and a lot of older guys gave me s**t for it, like they resented their wives for settling down too soon. It upsets me when men talk s**t about their wives. If you hate your wife, then leave, she’s probably better off without you."

"My wife is my best friend. Seven years later, our relationship only grows stronger over time. If you love someone and they love you back, be grateful for that and show it!"

- Apprehensive-Hall254

There are many ways to tell that a relationship is in a downward spiral, especially when the relationship is not our own.

But these accounts were intense and ones that we can only hope are less common.

Whenever we feel like something isn't right about our bodies or we're suffering from some kind of medical issues, we want them taken care of straight away.

The problem with that is, that depending on whom we're getting information from, we tend to believe in the initial diagnosis or remedy because we trust the professional sources and we want quick solutions.

But do doctors and health specialists always know what they're talking about?

Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

Strangers online shared their medical horror stories when Redditor Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked:

"What is the worst health advice you've been given?"

Not doing further research into something that raises eyebrows can be a fatal mistake.

Turns Out It Was Brain Cancer

"i went cross eyed and my primary said 'could be a sinus thing, get some mucinex.'”

"turns out it was glioblastoma."

– Guy_Faux

"Wow, that's an absurdly sh**ty doctor. The same thing happened to my mother and it was quickly determined that it was stage 4 lung cancer. She made it about 3 months after that. She was 48 and I was 18 so the idea that any doctor would ignore that is infuriating to me."

– Frisky_Picker

Second Opinion Saves Lives

"My primary doctor kept telling me that nothing was wrong with my thyroid, and I was a hypochondriac."

"I had been told at 12 years old that I had thyroid issues and she told me that doctor was wrong. I had to see a whole other doctor to get a referral to the endocrinologist because she literally refused to refer me to one."

"The endocrinologist said, I had scarring all over my thyroid, I had Hashimoto’s, and my levels were horrible, and she didn’t know what the doctor was talking about. She said she was glad I advocated for myself."

– littlemybb

Tiny Grandchild

"I was not the recipient of this 'advice' but I had a coworker proudly say how small her new grandchild was when they were born and that her daughter smoked her whole pregnancy to try and have a smaller baby. This was in like 2010, not the 1960s for reference."

"ETA: smoked cigarettes. clarified since that can mean more than one thing."

– Emkems

Unforeseen Ailment​

"Was sick for a year in my late teens. Saw multiple specialists to find the cause. Experimented with diet. Saw a naturopath that did some ‘electric pulse test’ thing that apparently gave indicators of organ health. After a few visits, and months of eating the weirdest sh*t, the test said things were improving (including my gallbladder). Months went on but I was still quite sick. I eventually ended up in hospital and one of my specialists decided to take my appendix out on a whim to see if it might help. Turns out I had something called a ‘grumbling appendix’ and it completely fixed me. Funny thing is, while they were in there, they discovered I was born without a gallbladder."

– Ok_Ear_8848

These are not appropriate remedies.

That's Not How That Works

"When I had an urinary tract infection someone told me to wash my vagina with vinegar..."

– _Puke_Bucket_

"And maybe add some diced onions and tomatoes to make a refreshing Mediterranean salad."

– Bos_lost_ton

Pushing Through

"Just push through whenever you're sick. If you can get to a doctor's office for a doctor's certificate you can get to school/college/work."

– BoyMonday

"My childhood pediatrician told my parents that 'A sick child never smiles.'”

"I tend to laugh/smile when I’m nervous or uncomfortable to self regulate."

– pinotproblems

"A doctor once told my parents that a child who isn’t crying can’t really be hurt. Because of that, it took me days to convince my parents to take me to the doctor after I fell on my arm because I wasn’t crying. It turns out it was broken."

– slowsunslumber

"Ignoring" The Problem Isn't A Solution

"A friend of mine was in horrible pain, and was repeatedly told (by multiple doctors) that she should stop complaining and just get used to it because periods are painful and that’s the way it is."

"After being blown off for years, she finally got a doctor to take her pain seriously- and it turned out she had severe endometriosis. The surgeon said it was the worst case he had ever seen in his career, and was horrified that it had gotten so advanced with no one listening to her."

– sapphireblossoms

Choking On Blood

"The school nurse telling me to tilt my head back for a bloody nose. That was an awful experience."

– hypo-osmotic

"I do like doing this because when I cough up the blood I can pretend I’m in a period drama and I have tuberculosis."

– OrangeTree81

These Redditors discovered that all pain is not necessarily "normal."

The C-Word

"Doctor said certain pain is normal as you get older. Turns out it was cancer."


"That's a fibrous strip of breast tissue, you're too young to have breast cancer."

"Delayed diagnosis by 6 months. I was 31."

– juniper_max

Thinking Twice About Back Pain

"I got from a doctor, 'everyone has back pain. There’s nothing wrong with you, just use a heating pad.' It was kidney stones."

– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor

"Yikes, I am so sorry."

"I had a kinda similar experience. I went to the doctor for a morning appointment to get some persistent, worsening back pain checked out. Doc asked me where my back pain was, looked me in the eyes and told me I was fine and must have just slept wrong. He shut me down when I tried to advocate for myself."

"That night, I was admitted to the ER due to the crippling pain I was in. Turns out I had a serious kidney infection that was turning septic."

"One of the ER staff who helped me told me if I had waited another 24 hours, my kidneys would have shut down and I very likely would have died from organ failure?!"

"I’ve been dismissed by doctors over and over again in my personal health journey, and it is so frustrating and scary, as they’ve dismissed me for 'being dramatic' when there’s actually something very serious going on with my body."

– Yarr0wFeather

Vitamin D Overdose

"If you have pale skin, get just a little sunburnt every day so that your skin will 'learn' to get a tan. That’s how everyone else does it."

"My Solar Keratosis skin cancers would beg to disagree."

– comfortablynumb15

As much as we want to believe our doctors when they give us a health assessment and assure us we're "fine," you should never ignore your inner voice telling you that something is not right.

Your conscience is there for a reason.

Even if a doctor tells you it's okay to ignore the problem, you should think twice about ignoring your gut feelings.