Myla Corvidae, 30, was born female and now identifies as transgender non-binary using they/them pronouns.
Myla Corvidae /SWNS.COM
They had picked up a few items of clothing from the menswear section of M&S in Aberdeen, Scotland, and wanted to try them on in the store.
But a member of staff told them they could not try the clothes on in the changing rooms by the menswear section.
Myla says they were told the facilities were "only for men" during the incident on December 31, 2019.
A spokesman for M&S admitted "a mistake was made" and the store has apologized - including a personal letter from the manager.
Google
Myla, of Aberdeen, said:
"I'd picked up some shirts and jumpers from the menswear section and went into the changing rooms nearby. There was no attendant so I just went on in."
"I left the changing room to grab a bigger size in one of the jumpers and a female attendant approached me on the shop floor."
"She told me I couldn't use the changing rooms there as they were 'only for men' and said that I had to use the changing rooms downstairs which are for women."
"I was utterly shocked and the only thing I could think of to say was 'I'm not female' to which she looked me up and down, apologized and walked off."
"I felt sick, like I was being accused of some kind of crime just for trying on clothes. Afterwards, I went home and cried - I have never been accosted like that in a store before."
"I had to go back in and speak to someone in store because no one took it seriously the first time and I started crying even trying to talk about it again with them."
Myla Corvidae /SWNS.COM
Myla had been shopping in the Aberdeen City Center branch of Marks & Spencer regularly for the past five years before this happened.
Following the incident, Myla has complained to Marks & Spencer who have formally apologized to them both in person and via letter.
Despite the apology from the company, Myla feels unable to return to the shop due to the distress caused on that day.
Myla said:
"I don't think the apology was enough to be honest, it shouldn't have ever happened to start with and I have lost confidence in Marks & Spencer as a company for standing up for trans folk like myself."
"I still feel scared to shop at Marks & Spencer in case it happens again elsewhere or if I have to deal with that same person again."
"The fact that I saw a female using the space at the same time in full view of the attendant when I left the changing rooms just made it so much more of a personal attack."
"I honestly don't think I would go back there, I don't want to have to experience something like that again or see that staff member again."
"I am still very much upset by what happened and if I were to go back I wouldn't go on my own and I would not be shopping for clothes there again."
Myla Corvidae /SWNS.COM
An M&S spokesperson said:
"With our fitting rooms we only offer individual lockable cubicles and this is to ensure every customer feels comfortable and has the privacy they need."
"The fitting rooms are located within our womenswear and menswear departments and therefore are mainly used by customers of that gender. However, as an inclusive retailer and in line with most other retailers, we allow customers the choice of fitting room in respect of how they identify themselves."
"Clearly on this occasion a mistake was made, we have apologized to our customer for this incident, additionally our store manager wrote a personal apology assuring the customer they have spoken to the team."
Williams was talking about the holiday "Galentine's Day," created by the TV show Parks & Recreation, which celebrates female friendships the day before Valentine's Day.
When she saw men clapping along with the women after a joke, she commented:
"If you're a man and you're clapping, you're not even a part of this. I don't care if you're gay. You don't get a [menstrual period] every 28 days. You can do a lot that we do, but I get offended by the idea that we go through something you will never go through."
Williams then went on to say to gay men:
"Stop wearing our skirts and our heels. Girls, what do we have for ourselves? You'll never be the woman that we are, no matter how gay!"
. @WendyWilliams to LGBT community. “I get offended at the idea that we go through something you will NEVER go thro… https://t.co/lgBnEfyu60— CodeineAmari (@CodeineAmari) 1581620106
Internet users everywhere denounced Williams's comments as homophobic and transphobic.
Oh, Wendy. Your homophobia is showing: Wendy Williams to Gay Men: 'Stop Wearing Our Skirts and Our Heels' https://t.co/qFVwhUsrtv— Jeffrey Luscombe (@Jeffrey Luscombe) 1581626159
@WendyWilliams i love you, i really do but if you’re telling us to stop wearing “y’all skirts and heels”, then give… https://t.co/RZe9Szi6JH— Bru_e_williams 💕 (@Bru_e_williams 💕) 1581637109
.@WendyWilliams, some friendly reminders: 1. Many cis women would be offended by having their womanhood reduced to… https://t.co/yuGEDTaFv1— Charlotte Clymer 🏳️⚧️🇺🇦 (@Charlotte Clymer 🏳️⚧️🇺🇦) 1581633607
Wendy Williams seems to have some trouble avoiding controversy.
Earlier this year, she had to issue an apology after making fun of a scar on Joaquin Phoenix's lip.
In 2018, she said she was "sick" of the #MeToo movement.
Y’all remember when Wendy Williams got coin to do that awful Drag Race commentary during the commercial breaks? 😅 N… https://t.co/bT8xQMQDQ7— Kelly Mantle (@Kelly Mantle) 1581636903
Gays obsessed with @WendyWilliams is on our team: SHE. IS. NOT. Drop her. She's toxic. https://t.co/iX7hS6gmfX— Matthew Rettenmund (@Matthew Rettenmund) 1581624196
Many pointed out notable LGBTQ celebrities who wear high heels and skirts.
#WendyWilliams @WendyWilliams life long watcher but no more! You are a transphobic / homophobic woman who doesn’t g… https://t.co/sNavVdme8Q— Paul Schmidt (@Paul Schmidt) 1581637933
Transphobia is no laughing matter.
Before long, Williams had issued an apology to her fans.
But for many, the damage had been done.
Wendy Williams will have to be more careful in the future—there's a fine but important line between speaking frankly about gender and being ignorant and intolerant.
De Jager explained her journey to her audience in the video below.
I'm Coming Out. www.youtube.com
She began:
"Today I am here to share with you something that I always wanted to share with you one day, but under my own circumstances. It looks like that chance has been taken away from me so today I am taking back my own power."
By the time de Jager was 6, she already knew she was ready to start taking steps to transition.
"By the age of 6, I grew my hair out. ... By the age of 7 or 8, I fully wore girls' clothes only and it felt amazing."
@NikkieTutorials Cis female here. Due to flukes in my design I cant have children. Ive been assured by many that it… https://t.co/KJhKRpiv6z— CelestialSpider (@CelestialSpider) 1578946176
@NikkieTutorials so proud of you Nikkie <3— YouTube (@YouTube) 1579027235
NikkieTutorials coming out as trans is a big moment for trans people. She's someone that cis women of all political… https://t.co/Es71eqOXbG— Erin, Trail Mom (@Erin, Trail Mom) 1579014395
Sadly, de Jager explained why the chance for her to come out was "taken" from her:
"I have been blackmailed by people that wanted to leak my story to the press....I've always wanted to share this."
I love you @NikkieTutorials ❤️❤️❤️ https://t.co/wYim9PLjVm— V△LKY BARLOW (@V△LKY BARLOW) 1578984516
When the name of the person who was blackmailing Nikkietutorials finally gets dropped https://t.co/Cp46PW7v0e— Department of Just-Ass (@Department of Just-Ass) 1578999851
to whoever blackmailed nikkietutorials.. you tried it https://t.co/prw9GLXKOE— LAPP (@LAPP) 1578996027
Me finding out nikkietutorials is trans and then me finding out someone tried to blackmail her into coming out https://t.co/lvj0vBBlSs— ❄ Local Plague Dr ❄ (@❄ Local Plague Dr ❄) 1579005155
The way she told her blackmailers to shove it is so ICONIC. Proud of @NikkieTutorials for taking her power back. https://t.co/Trfdlo0Vi1— ♡ (@♡) 1579005600
Many of Nikkie's fans had no idea she was a trans woman...
At first I thought Nikkie was coming out as a trans man like Trisha paytas but she's a trans woman omg 😍 proud— Sam Avery 👑 (@Sam Avery 👑) 1578948785
Nikkie: I’m coming out Me: Oh cool she’s bi? lesbian? ... wait I thought she was engaged? Nikkie: I’m transgender… https://t.co/j0W2n1f4kU— L💜 (@L💜) 1578954947
...but that didn't affect their support for her...
.@NikkieTutorials is number one on trending as she should be 👏🏻 https://t.co/2kaQnXYlci— Dustin Dailey (@Dustin Dailey) 1578987420
...or their ire for the people who threatened her.
Me after watching nikkietutorials coming out video https://t.co/4eWC5hl2Jk https://t.co/TBr2prWVrX— traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns (@traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns) 1579000983
The overwhelming support of Nikkie has far outweighed the negativity.
All her stans made it clear that blackmail was a completely unacceptable way for her to be scared into coming out.
I don’t wanna hear “I never would’ve guessed Nikkie Tutorials is trans! I’m shook!” I wanna hear “who the fuck thre… https://t.co/GhRbZ0OuRu— don’t worry, darling (@don’t worry, darling) 1578944753
@KatiePepperoni/Twitter
nikkie tutorials was just forced to come out as trans due to blackmail... cis people are literally weaponizing our… https://t.co/P3AiPdwCha— sofie halili (@sofie halili) 1578948225
@remembersolo/Twitter
The decision to come out is an individual choice for many reasons, including the safety of the person. Forcing someone to come out is a despicable attack against the person being targeted.
Nikkie de Jager has not revealed the identity of those who threatened her.
Yet.