One of my mother's failures is that life is never enough. I would bring home a test with a 96 grade.. which is a clear and solid "A"... and she always asked... where are the other 4 points? Do you know how belittling that is? As if I've accomplished nothing?
I'm Unique
Happy Hour Drinking GIF by BBCGiphy"Comparing them to their siblings, the good old, "why can't you be more like (brother/sister)?" That does nothing for their self esteem and really can keep them from becoming their own person. That's all they should be anyway, themselves, not their siblings."
- llcucf80
Admit It
"Refusing to admit when they're wrong/apologize. Victimizing themself instead of acknowledging that they messed up. Having kids before they've fully grown up/having kids before they've gone to therapy to address their own childhood trauma, as this just causes undue trauma on their kids."
I'm your kid!
"As an only child, being compared to my neighbor's kids, or to their co-worker's kids, or to their friends' kids. It sucks being compared to somebody else especially by your own parents. I'm a parent myself and my mom still does that to me and now to my 15 month old. Doesn't matter though, its something that I don't want my child to hear from me."
- migoxxi
Therapy
"Telling your kids your personal problems. Like 'your dad is horrible, he didn't even do the dishes, I hate my marriage.' Your kids are not your therapist. Also they can't do anything to solve your problem. Instead address your issues with your spouse and a therapist."
Sorry?
i'm sorry homer simpson GIFGiphy"Refusing to apologize when you're wrong."
"I sacrificed so much for you, I provided for your needs/I'm your parent, why should I apologize?"
- migoxxi
Oof. Those are all good. Why is an apology so difficult? Kids are made to give them all of the time. And therapy is always a must. Don't ever run from it.
Shhhh....
Schitts Creek Please GIF by CBCGiphy"Invalidating their emotions, be it ignoring or shutting them down."
The Media Way
"Less of a parenting tactic and more of a tactic parents use: contriving a video (featuring their kid) to post to social media. It's super common, I don't understand how so many people are fooled into thinking they're genuine."
"I'm a parent, and I have never done this, because I think it's terrible to try and embarrass your child that badly in public like that. And my kid has had a couple of procedures after which he was kind of loopy- other parent friends asked me if I'd videoed him, I said no, and they were disappointed in me. Excuse me for my first priority being taking care of my kid, rather than videoing him."
genders...
"Saying that a kid has a boyfriend/girlfriend any time they are close friends with a child who isn't the same gender. On top of reinforcing the idea that boys and girls can't ever be strictly platonic friends, it's so creepy to project adult ideas of romantic relationships onto kids who are practically still toddlers."
Tomfoolery...
"You can tell me and I won't be mad" followed by punishing them for whatever they admit. then they wonder why their kids never talk to them."
"Taking away their privacy. unless your kid has a serious drug or self-harm problem, violating their privacy will almost certainly do more harm than good to their mental health, trust, and their relationship to you. it doesn't matter if it's installing spyware on their phones, tracking their movements, or taking away their bedroom door."
- SinkTube
Lies
Just Kidding Wink GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy"Gaslighting their children into believing things that are simply not true in order to defend themselves."
I am now even more solidified in my non-parenting reserve. But the rest of you can learn to do better. In the end, all you have to be is a good person. Lead with that.
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