Elevators. Stairwells. Planes. You name it. I've shamed it. No Deets...
don't worry I wasn't naked...
"I was watching adult videos in the middle of the night. After I did my deed I felt a slight pain in my balls, like someone flicked their finger on them. The pain increased to the point that I had to walk it out. After some minutes I began screaming from the pain when my parents came to my room (don't worry I wasn't naked) seeing me in pain on the floor."
"At that moment I thought I did something wrong but was to ashamed to tell them.My dad rushed me to the emergency room where I was rushed in and my pants were removed. Laying there they gave me a nose spray which halted some of the pain. The doctor then started fondling my family jewels while the nurse stood next to me reminding me to breath because the nose spray stopped the automatic breathing if that makes sense."
"All the time my dad is standing there looking and the only thing I could thing at that moment was oh no do they think my unit is small. After that the doctors brought me to another room while my dad was in another room. While going trough the halls I told the doctor I probably know the cause and explained that I was pleasuring myself"
"I don't remember the doctors response but I felt truly ashamed like I was the only person doing such a thing. Later the doctor told me I had testicular Torsion which is caused by the balls not being attached to the sack so I'm living in fear of it happening again to this day."
Sick-Man_NL
"WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??"
"In the 90's/early 2000's we bought a pub and moved into it. It had a big screen downstairs and we lived above, but Sky Sports was so expensive for the business account we basically hooked the giant screen to our box upstairs so whenever the sport was on it would show on the screen downstairs."
"So we couldn't watch TV upstairs except what was being shown on the big screen when this was happening. Anyway one Sunday evening around 10pm after the sport (bearing in mind the sport finished at 6pm) I was freely browsing through channels because the giant screen has been wound up into the ceiling and my 14 year old self came across some softcore adult videos"
"Curious, I started watching it. Suddenly there was a big buzz from the phone that connected to downstairs, I answer it. It's my mum with laughing in the background. "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??" I was like "errr.. I was just flicking through channels.." "Well you've stayed on that one for a while haven't you?"
"I forgot about the small TV in the bar area. It was still on and was showing the entire pub what my horny self was watching. I was mortified. Luckily my mum never brought it up again and neither did any of the customers thankfully."
Parish87
I Gotta Go
"When i was 12 my younger sister walked in on me playing fondle the dongle. I told her I couldn't pee and was trying to force/pump it out. She told my mom out of worry. Said I needed a doctor to help me pee. When Mom confronted me about what my sister was saying i then had to explain it to her."
itisbaileyikilledyou
Decades ago...
"My mom walked in on me. The look on her face went from incomprehension to shock to utter disgust over the span of a second or two. She stayed calm and explained how it wasn't appropriate, but I just remember how unsmiling and tense she was, totally unlike I'd ever seen her. Decades ago but still cringe so much recalling it."
A_Dazzling_Method
Oh. My. God. Y'all are animals. And I'm LIIIIVVVING for it!
“underwear”
surprise disrobing GIFGiphy"My dad caught me editing the game files of The Sims to replace the female underwear textures with 'underwear' that just makes them look nude. Looked up reference material and edited them in photoshop. That a lot of effort to put into something so depraved."
IrrelevantPuppy
Mistakes
"When i was about 10, my parents were out so I looked up some adult videos on the family computer (mistake number 1), then I kept hearing noises and thought someone was in the house so i ran to my room and called my dad, leaving to computer on (mistake number 2)."
"My dad rushed home and went around the house looking for an intruder, no one was there, it was just my next door neighbors (we have a semi-detached house) then obviously saw what i was looking at on the computer and asked me about it… i told him the intruder must of broken in and searched it up :( "
Educational_Top122
Library Time
"In middle school, my friend got her boobs and she wanted me to touch them. We probably spent 30 minutes everyday before school until the librarian caught us and we were suspended."
Shef43
I wonder if she knew...
"My HS gf and I were having sex in the sideways laying down cuddling position. Mom walked in to show me a new Christmas decoration. To her it looked like we were just cuddling but she sat on the bed inches away from me and proceeded to talk about the decoration for like 10 minutes. I wonder if she knew. They never cared much about that stuff so I think she was just oblivious."
MyPupWrigley
I'm Dead
"I was violently ill. In my fiancé’s house where we were living. While he was at work, his dad was working from home. I needed my mom to take me to the hospital. I screamed for my father in laws help, who entered the bathroom to my nude body, puking at t in his bathtub. He called my mom for me, and we never spoke about it."
hammybachy
OMG!
"When I was around 10/11 years old, my dad got my brother and I a computer to use. He set it up in the den and pretty much allowed us free unsupervised access to it. He had gone out with his friends one night, and my brother, one of his friends, and myself were on the internet just typing in random things and adding .com to it."
"Now back in the early 2000's it didn't take long for us to stumble upon porn. Which led us to clicking on more and more porn links because we were all like, holy shit there's naked women on here. Eventually we bricked the computer and it blue screened on us. Instead of turning it off/unplugging the computer/turning off the monitor, we just left it and went to bed."
"My dad got home and saw the blue screen. Did the ol' Ctrl, alt, delete trick to pull up the task manager. Saw that we had porn pulled up on the web browser. At this point he makes us all come out into the den. Sits us on the couch and tries to make us confess to why the computer was blue screened."
"We of course shrugged and acted like we had no clue. He then turned the monitor on and went through the internet history. We all had to sit there while my dad clicked through some of the most heinous debased shit I've ever seen in my life. The whole time he was just reading out the history and then he'd say something like "Jesus freaking C*rist, what the hell is wrong with you all". Yeah that computer did not last very long."
JudgementalChair
a thousand deaths...
Hide Reaction GIF by florGiphy"When I was with my ex, we did some long distance for a while. While I am not about sending nudes, after not seeing each other for a long time you kinda get an urge to see the other person naked. So, nudes were exchanged. She was mostly interested in close ups of my erect penis so I send those."
"Upon returning home I discovered that she had set a picture of my erect penis as my profile picture in her phone. Meaning that if I'd call her, my penis would be presented on the screen in all its glory. I told her this was a very stupid idea, what if I'd call and her phone was laying around somewhere? She said she never had her phone laying around so no one would see. I didn't think much of it."
"Few weeks later we were having dinner with her parents and she was talking about getting a new phone. Her father, with a straight face and in between two bites of his food, remarked 'Gee, if you get this new phone, does that mean you'll install a different picture for when he calls you?' I died a thousand deaths."
Alwin_
When in Hollywood
"I was once extremely drunk and staying in a very expensive hotel in Hollywood. I went to bed, as I should. I woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee. I walked through the bathroom door and closed it behind me. I then realized that that wasn't the bathroom door, but rather the room door. I was locked out of my room in a fancy hotel, drunk off my a**, wearing only my underwear. I went to the elevator lobby where there was a phone and called the front desk and explained my situation."
"They said they would send someone up. I realized I couldn't wait and continued searching for a place to pee and found a janitor closet with a rolling mop bucket in it. I took a giant pee in the mop bucket and then walked back to my room door, where a bellhop who really didn't want to look me in the eye let me back into my room. I'm very sorry, Mondrian hotel."
91901bbaa13d40128f7d
Dear God!
"I thought God would kill me for masturbating when I was little so I barely ever did it, but the house would know when I was doing it because I'd yell 'I'm sorry God!' My family wasn't even religious, I didn't even know where I got that Idea from."
G4rg0yle_Art1st
Sorry Sir
"Shagging with my wife (then girlfriend) in the back of my car when a bright light shines in the window. Cop asks 'What’s going on here.' I calmly respond 'Just having sex sir.' He was nice. Told us it was technically public nudity and it would be best if we just high tailed it out of the parking lot."
DDsLaboratory
Smiles
Miley Cyrus Smile GIFGiphy"I grew up in an incredibly rural area with dialup internet. I was only able to load nude images from the top down. I finished before it loaded past the neck. My fetish is a pretty face and a beautiful happy smile. I wish it was a joke. Some men are butt men some like breasts. I love a beautiful smile"
Swarlolz
Hello Mom
"My High School boyfriend and I were having sex in his attic bedroom, both of us completely naked. I was bouncing and moaning and making a lot of noise with the headboard because we were home alone. Well, his mom came home early and we had no idea until she was at the top of the stairs calling his name and walked in on me, totally naked and with her son."
"She took a breath, calmly told us to get dressed and come downstairs. When we did, she told us she was disappointed and asked him to walk me home. He very quietly told her we had planned to go to church youth group afterwards. She let us leave after she picked her jaw up off the floor. That was the first time I’d met his mom."
Significant_Drag_465
"Hu" What?
"I used to read some weird erotica when I was younger as I hated all porn in video form. I distinctly remember reading one a that had women in stalls like cows. They kept using this term 'hucow' which at the time I didn’t realize was obviously a mash up of the word human and cow."
"I didn't think much of it but one time I was talking to a friend and I was trying to remember the term for a female cow. My brain thought 'hucow' and I almost said it before catching myself. I know they probably wouldn't have caught on, but it killed me inside that I almost said something from some pretty weird porn."
throwawayalientk
Well I need a cold shower and more vodka.
Found Her
richard gere gotta love this film GIFGiphyWhen I was in Amsterdam I did a red light tour, and the tour guide told us how when he was young and inexperienced he 'shopped around' the windows for a while, found the beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and kept coming back until he worked up his nerve.
Eventually he went in, stayed in there talking to her until about 4 in the morning, then she took him back to her place, that was nine years before he told us the story and they'd been together since then. She still worked as a sex worker and he was so open about everything, it was really interesting to get such an outlook from a tour guide.
Happily Ever....
Not the SW, but the partner of one.
I was going through a stressful time in my life and things weren't working out the way I had hoped. I was single and was always making time for other people and never felt like I was getting what I wanted in life. I knew nothing about sex workers at the time, and had never seen one before. I did some research for about a month or so and came across this girl's ad. She seemed legit and from what I could see in her pictures, attractive.
I booked her and was beyond nervous-scared leading up to the appointment. When the day came I went over and the cutest girl ever opened the door and welcomed me in. We talked about ourselves pretty much the entire night. I had only intended for this to be a one-time deal since it's so expensive! But, I decided to see her a few more times. I noticed she started letting me overstay my appointment time more each visit and I started getting suspicious. I didn't know if this was normal, or if she was into me.
I liked her a lot, but I figured this was her job and she probably just wanted to keep me, a steady income, around. She started doing other favors like making me dinner and my mind started going crazy and had to know what was going on. So I confessed that I liked her and hoped that was okay, and asked her to clarify what she had been doing, and what it meant.
Turns out she totally had feelings for me! We decided to date and now we're getting married!
Trapped
Really happy for the fairy tales people are telling here, but these stories don't end well often.
I had a second degree cousin who was a sex worker in Brazil. Started doing it since her father left her sick mother without a penny and she was a very beautiful girl. Worked as a sex worker for a few years and ended up meeting a Spanish tourist when she was 22 or 21. The guy was prince charming himself. Came back to Brazil a few months after meeting her to marry her and take her to Spain. Was really kind with the entire family, flooded everyone with gifts and sounded like a genuine nice guy.
A few months passed after their marriage and things seem fine, she gets to visit the family, sends updates constantly. Out of nowhere, silence. She completely disappears for years. It was the 90s, before cellphones or social networks. Her mother tried to reach the police, but it was useless. After around 8 or 9 years of silence, she calls back.
According to her, the guy was extremely jealous and abusive. The first signs were weird, but nothing terrifying, in her opinion. But things got worse, with physical and psychological violence, forbidding her of leaving the house until it turned into a situation where she was completely locked off the external world.
She ended up running away from home after many tries and took refugee on a church. While living at that church, she remembered one of her cousin's phone number - one of the few she memorized - and managed to call the family back. Most of us thought she was dead by then. That was in 2004, she had been missing since 95~96.
Now she is married and living in Spain with a regular man she met at the church.
4 Years In
Climb In Constance Wu GIF by HustlersGiphyMy fiancée is a stripper at a bikini bar. I used to frequent her club because my friend's sister was a bartender there and would hook me up on my bar tab. I met my fiancée and got to know her pretty well over the next 2 and a half years, then one night we were both there for my friend's (the bartender) birthday and got pretty drunk. She told me she had a crush on me and then later said she wanted to go home with me, which she did.
A year to the day after that I asked her to marry me, and I've been in the best relationship of my life for almost 4 years.
Caretaker
God, this was years ago when I was 21 but it brings back a lot of emotions even now. One of my regulars was a disabled gentleman in his 50s. He had broken his spine in an industrial accident and was paralyzed from the chest down. He'd gotten a large settlement and invested in property including his beautiful accessible cabin on the lake. He'd pay for me to spend weekends with him there as well as trips to the coast and the casino where he would give me money to play slots or see a show while he played cards.
He was kind and funny and had a comforting nature. I had bad experiences with men, but his disability made him vulnerable and open in a way that moved me and put me at ease. I even learned some of his care routines so I could be with him for longer periods.
He died when he developed a clot in his leg that broke free and got into his lungs. I didn't find out until 2 weeks afterward. His passing really shook me. I thought I had distance. I didn't realize how much I cared for him until he was gone.
Dawn
Related only, but one of my friends with unlimited business expenses was hosting in NYC clients from London. That night ended up at a strip club across the street from my home, and $1000 dollars in lap dance tickets ($20 each) in the middle of the table.
I tried one, not my thing, so I pocketed 3 of the tickets as souvenirs.
A year later, my nephew was visiting me as he turned 21, so I gave him the 3 tickets and sent him to the strip club. He did not return, but called at 8AM. "I'm making breakfast over at Dawn's place"
They went out for a few months.
The Bikie
A friend's sister and her friend were/are sex workers. They both fell in love with the same customer. The bloke was a biker and I'm pretty sure they loved the free drugs he gave them, not him. They had a huge blow out over this guy and basically didn't take long before they stopped communicating.
They both confessed their love for him and he cut ties with both because he wanted to spend more time with his wife.
Edit for non-Aussie's: Outlaws in Australia once upon a time rode on motorcycles and were/are heavily involved in crime syndicates. We call them bikies (buy-keys) (Australian accent) or singular (buy-key) (Australian accent).
ryan gosling friend GIFI saw girls always fawning over him- leaving some tips on stage so he would bring them back to the dressing room and they could flirt with him. I assumed it was a phase and tried to ignore my feelings. At the time I was suffering from chronic pain and an eating disorder. He just cared so much and went out of his way to help. We've now been married for 15 years and have three children.
"Lonny"
Using my throwaway. I was a sugar baby the moment I turned 18. Started having sex with a 60 year old doctor. I was poor so the constant showering of gifts, money, dinners, vacations, and clothes, I guess made me fall in love with him. All I would think about was "Lonny" (fake name) and what amazing thing Lonny had planned for us that day.
One day I get a call from Lonny and he tells me, we can't see each other anymore because he had caught feelings for me. I took this as my opportunity to tell him how I felt and I really thought we would get married. He then told me, "I can't be in love with a girl like you, so I have to let you go and move on to another girl I don't have feelings for." I was broken and depressed for a long time. I ended up using some of the money he gave me for therapy and eventually I got over it.
I Was Wrong
Julia Roberts Shopping GIF by SundanceTVGiphyI'll start with my story to get the ball rolling. Former sex worker.
When I was 18 I began seeing a married man in his early 40s who treated me with respect, genuinely listened and helped me with my school, and we hung out a lot too without having sex. After about 3 months of seeing him almost everyday I started to become attached. Then one day I told him that I thought I was in love with him and he told me, "I still love my wife. I only keep you around for...." I was DEVASTATED and never saw him again.
John
I've never used the term john, just client. While I haven't fallen head over heels for a client, I definitely have a few clients that I love. It might weird them out so I wouldn't tell them, but it's the truth. You meet some very interesting, caring people in my line of work.
I Miss Him
Cats Chibi GIFGiphyNever fallen in love with a client, but I do love some of them. My first ever in person client, and favorite regular is an absolute sweetheart and has a lot of the same kinks as I do, seeing him has the same excitement to it as hooking up with a hot friend. We had to cancel our last session because of lockdown and I miss him a lot.
Getting to know you.....
I worked as a dancer in LA and I met my husband at the club I worked at. We got married last year and have a 2 year old :) We are madly in love and no one knows how we actually met haha. Our life is beautiful together :)
Most people don't realize most of sex work is actually just getting to know someone very intimately. Lots of clients just want to talk, to have a bond, to forget something. Sometimes that bond is simply business but its no surprise that people do fall in love 💓.
Friendship
I was a regular customer of a camgirl back some time ago. After few stints I gradually started telling her not to take off her clothes and just talk to me, I loved her personality. She gave me her skype, and I thought, ok, and after one or two skype meetings I asked her for her paypal to transfer the money. She was pretty angry because she thought this was a friendship or a dating call and she said she liked my weirdness and general demeanor. We continued skyping for some 2 months more, and now we are actually friends!
Obsession
Married the guy that was obsessed with me, came to the strip club I worked at every shift I worked for like 8 months until I finally went out with him. Married 15 years, now getting divorced.
Dance of the Lap
Yes but I never really considered him a "John" He was a "regular" but he would just come in the club and we would have great conversations and would pay for a dance just to be polite since I was working but really didn't even want a lap dance. He isn't a lap dance guy, just has grown up with art scene people so enjoyed certain types of strippers and found them interesting, and a great way to take a break from his now corporate life. We quickly became more friends outside of work and if he came in while I was working it would be expected he pay me for my time but he had the money to spend so he didn't care.
Then eventually we started going on dates and we became official and he would just drop me off at the club on the way to work and pick me up after. A year later we moved across the country together and we're coming up on 2 yrs. we haven't fought once and very happy.
The Client
As someone that dated a sex worker, I just want to let any clients and potential clients know: sure. This happens. But it is very very rare, and if you are ever starting to get the feeling that she is into you, there is about a one in ten million chance that she actually is. It just means that she's doing her job well, and that you as a client are not. It's their job to make it feel real. It's your job to remember it isn't.
Benefits
Jimmy Fallon Hay GIFGiphyOne of my closest friends started out buying content and Skype shows. We now talk on a daily basis and have visited each other several times. As a matter of fact he'll be coming to see me in a couple weeks! We have sex and say we love each other and ultimately we are kinky pals. I would call it a casual long distance relationship as we are not pursuing anything different but are appreciative of our place in each other's lives. We say we are bffs with benefits. 😌
Like the Movies
I had to travel out of the country to attend my sister's wedding. The best man was my ex-fiancé (he dumped me) so I couldn't stand the thought of going alone. So I hired an escort to go with me and pretend to be my boyfriend. But he ended up being the most wonderful man and we fell in love. Worth every penny.
Happily Ever
Love Story Wedding GIF by angiecandellGiphyI'll keep it short and sweet.
I was at work when we met. I quit working and found another job shortly after. We've been together ever since. He turned out to be the love of my life.
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Reddit user tb1649 asked:
What is the most intimate, non-sex thing you do with your partner?
People's responses were honestly fascinating, sweet, and sometimes a little heartbreaking. "Intimate" clearly means very different things to different people.
Peach Time
He likes to call me different nicknames, one of them being "peach." So, whenever he wants to cuddle, he says "peach time?" and we cuddle and just lay there together. It's honestly one of my favorite things in the world.
He Doesn't Do Verbal Affection
GiphyHe plays love songs on the piano while I stand behind him kissing the back of his head. I almost cry sometimes.
He's autistic and doesn't do verbal affection, but he finds ways to show me that he loves me.
Scratch
I scratch his back and head. He was telling me how his mom would scratch his back and it is a very intimate thing for him. His grandma would scratch his head until he fell asleep.
Ever since he told me that, I've been trying my best to stay awake long enough that he falls asleep from head scratches too, as he has trouble falling asleep. Last night I finally held out long enough. I could hear his breathing change and his body relax and felt him fall asleep under my hand and I don't know why, but I was the happiest in the world because I could do something for him like that - someone I really care about. He told me I was amazing and I just melted. I hope to do it more often.
- phenli
Caregiver
I dunno if this counts but I got my husband through his fight with Hodgkin's Lyphoma and his relapse a year later. It was just him and me, we have a small support system and none of them live locally.
The relapse meant a bone marrow transplant. It. Is. No. Joke. Literally brings you to the brink of death and back.
My husband is a 6 foot strong Scottish man and when we were in the thick of it I had to push him in a wheelchair at the hospital cause getting from the car to the door was all he could do. He looked nothing like himself either, hairless, pale. I was bathing, dressing, feeding him, managing his many medications (and the side effects -violent vomiting) and getting him to and from the hospital on a daily basis.
I have a very clear memory of helping him get into new pj's one morning and thinking "I knew I might have to care for him like this....but I also thought it would be in my 70's, not at the ripe old age of 34...."
Being a caregiver for your loved one in and of itself is a crazy intimate experience, you see someone at their absolute worst/weakest and somehow you find new strength in yourself at the same time.
That ordeal changed us, obviously. We definitely have had a new level of intimacy since. It's bonded us in a way that I can't put into words.
Maximum Security
When he wraps himself around me tightly while cuddling/spooning, and calls it "maximum security"
If I'm feeling sad, he'll tease me and be like "Aw does someone need maximum security?" It's very sweet.
Quietly Concentrate
My boyfriend draws and sometimes he draws me naked. Granted, it's a prelude to sex some times but not all the time. It's super intimate, watching him quietly concentrate and do his work while sort of examining parts of me.
I used to be super self conscious, so just laying there and being out in the open is sort of freeing. Just feels close.
My Last Moments
I think the most intimate thing happened during my second son's birth a few months ago. I had given birth quickly and easily, but then began hemorrhaging. They stood me up to go to the bathroom and blood began pooling down my legs and feet. Immediately back in bed, giving me shots and meds to try to stop it but it wouldn't. The nurses were scared and a team ran in.
My husband laid the baby down and held my hand- I was terrified I was dying and leaving them. I just kept looking into his eyes and telling him I was so scared, and he stayed calm and smiled and reassured me.
I'm so lucky- they found a piece of retained placenta and were able to give me a second epidural and manually remove it. But I ended up losing almost 800 ml of blood. I really thought those could be my last moments, and I just locked eyes with him, trying to communicate everything I needed him to know about our family and my sons- but too scared to say any of it out loud.
It was the most intimate moment of my life.
A Stomach Bug
Taking care of me when I was sick. We've been together for about a year and don't live together. I had to cancel plans because I had the stomach bug (diarrhea and throwing up) and he came over and took care of me. Any man that can witness his girl sitting on the toilet and head in a trash can and still want to cuddle you and love on you is a keeper.
Eye Contact
There's always a few moments before we fall asleep where we'll just lay together, making eye contact. That may sound strange but it always feels super intimate and in a way that nothing needs to be said out loud. You're just sharing this moment and know that there's nowhere else you'd rather be.
Star Wars
Although I'm good at sleeping long nights I have trouble actually falling asleep. We'll cuddle and with his big voice he'll invent a story so that I can doze off to his soft bass-like golden sound.
Once, he summarized Star Wars episodes 1 to 3 since I hadn't seen them and expressed how much they sucked compared to the rest. It was amazing.
Any Knot He Wants
We wrestle and play fight...I know it's weird but it's so fun. Plus he was an NCAA wrestler and has his purple belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu so he can twist me in any knot he wants and it's oddly satisfying to be under his complete control - but it's actually not sexual.
Haircare
I recently started helping my partner trim his beard. It felt really intimate.
I'm African, he's Middle Eastern. It took me a while but I eventually let him help with taking out my cornrows when I change hairstyles, and helping me wash/condition my hair. That's pretty intimate to me.
Cooties
GiphyWhen we're in bed together, she sometimes steals a kiss on my cheek and I go : "Ewww cooties!" I wait a few seconds and whisper: "psst... Pretty girl? I like you"
She giggles and says : "I like you too"
"You wanna go steady?"
"Yeh"
Then we hold hands till we fall asleep.
I'm 40M she's 38F, we have 2 kids.
So Fragile
Before I had back surgery a few years ago, the pain was intense I couldn't get out of bed. My husband had to carry me to the bathtub and wash me and my hair.
I felt so fragile. That was probably the most intimate non-sexual thing I've experienced.
The Big Red Couch
I can tell you what it used to be, before our divorce.
Whatever we did that day, be it adventuring or swimming or just hanging out, our evenings always ended on our big red couch. I would be on the far right side, against the arm, because I liked getting into the corner. She liked having room to stretch out, so she got the middle and left side. I'd throw our old fleece over the both of us and put something on the TV.
Sometimes we'd watch, sometimes we would chat and sorta-watch, but it always ended with her breathing slowing down, while falling asleep, with her head on my left shoulder. It was a comforting thing for her, in terms of physical position and closeness, feeling safe. It was a comforting thing for me, to know I had someone who wanted to be close to me, and was still comfortable.
The first time I sat down on that red couch after she moved out, in my usual spot, was out of reflex. A handful of seconds went by—I realized I could never sit there again and feel good about myself, or my life. The coldness of the leather, the emptiness of the space, was too much. I got up and rearranged the furniture on the spot, once I stopped sobbing like an infant.
Not sure if y'all can tell, but I miss her.
Anyway, that's what it was.
Full Body Bear Hug
My dad is super jacked and I used to run at him full speed and jump in a full-body bear hug, and my dad would catch me.
Now with my husband, I'll catch his attention and give him the look and he'll squat and prepare, and then I run at him and jump and give him the big full-body bear hug. Complete with my face buried in his neck, kissing away.
Sappy - Not Sorry
We just had a newborn six weeks ago and aren't ready to have sex yet. Every night before I got to bed after the baby is first asleep I lay with my head on his lap and we watch Bob Ross because it calms me down. When I start to fall asleep I go to bed and he stays up to wait for the baby to stir so he can change her and bring her to me for a midnight feeding.
In the morning I am up before him and clean the dishes (he usually does all of the cooking and I'm too tired to clean at night) and read for an hour before the baby gets up. After I change and feed her I bring her to him for morning snuggles and tummy time.
I love this little routine and it keeps us feeling close and reminds me that sex and making love are very different things. You can make love without ever even taking your clothes off. Sappy. Sorry not sorry.
I Now Need Help
I had a stroke in March and have lost the majority of use of my left side. It's mostly just there for symmetry these days. I also have Fibromyalgia which is pretty debilitating. I now need help bathing and he bathes me. I've always been very independent and admitting I need that help was hard. The first time he bathed me, he was so gentle, thoughtful, and loving that it was so beautiful I cried. My husband is just amazing.
Team Building
I know it sounds stupid but we bathe our dog together... like we take him to this self serve dog wash and he's big and hates bathes so one of us wrestles him and the other bathes, and it's actually an amazing team building activity.
Being Held Tenderly
GiphyShe holds me when I cry.
I grew up in an abusive and negligent family. Naturally I suffer crippling depression and anxiety. Currently going to therapy and sometimes we dig deep into the trauma. It feels like I'm being torn from the inside. There's nothing to do but feel the grief, let it pass through me. Never have I been more raw and vulnerable than in those moments.
Being held tenderly while I'm ugly crying, sobbing, even wailing is love at its best.