Andrew Gurza is a 34-year-old with cerebral palsy who advocates for people with disabilities.
He's also proving that disabled people have just about as much sex appeal as able-bodied people and aims to remove the stigma surrounding sexuality.
In order to achieve this, he came up with the empowering hashtag, #DisabledPeopleAreHot, after scrolling through his Twitter feed and realizing the phrase hadn't existed. He was ready to change that.
Gurza gave rise to a powerful movement in which people with varied forms of physical limitations invoked the hashtag and proudly embraced their hotness by sharing photos of themselves.
He was moved by the flood of responses from a marginalized population.
An emotional Gurza said in a Now or Never interview:
"It's actually made me tear up with joy just seeing how many people have jumped on this tag and have sent me emails saying: 'This tag means so much to me. This tag changed my day and made me smile today. Thank you.'"
LOVE THIS #DisabledPeopleAreHot https://t.co/Lpxv32zm0E— Lorals (@Lorals) 1552409690
Gurza told the Huffington Post that he hopes able-bodied people can get past their own biases when encountering someone with a disability.
I am not afraid of your body, so why are you afraid of mine? #DisabledPeopleAreHot https://t.co/ENbHjCculy— Andrew Gurza is Disabled (@Andrew Gurza is Disabled) 1550424109
"I think people with disabilities want a place to feel sexy, sensual and fun," he said about the popularity and importance of his virals hashtag.
"You know, the hashtag is more than just about hotness ― it's really saying, 'Be disabled and be proud.'"
"We need hashtags like this one and the one Keah Brown created a few years ago [#DisabledAndCute] because they shine visibility on a community [most people] would rather ignore."
"If we're honest ― if able-bodied people were really honest ― they have ableism and they are really stuck in that, so they don't really think about disabilities."
#DisabledPeopleAreHot just wanted to hop on this hashtag bc i literally had a guy tell me i’m too pretty to be in a… https://t.co/TBgrc8VToe— kawaii_khi💛 (@kawaii_khi💛) 1550542559
HuffPo asked for examples of the kinds of stigmas he's faced.
"That I don't have sex. That I'm not sexual. That I can't get hard, so, therefore, I can't get laid."
One group of people was particularly harsh.
"The gay community is really prejudiced toward me, too, and it's really tough for me to break out and say, "I'm a guy just like you and I want to do all the things you're doing."
He combated the hatred by "being more queer, more outlandish."
"I lean into it way more when that happens, because it's like, "Fuck you, this is who I am. If you can't deal with it then get out."
Some members of the gay community fetishize his disability, and although playing into those desires can be seen as unhealthy, Gurza doesn't mind.
"I have a really interesting relationship with being fetishized, [but] I think it can be really positive if you harness it from a place of agency," he told Them.
But he warned against its drawbacks.
"If you as the oppressed group say, 'I'm going to use this word, or this language or this identity for myself,' fetishization can be really powerful. But if you let somebody who has no idea about your experience do that to you, then it can be very, dangerous and very divisive."
Gurza wants people to understand that despite its complications, his sex life is great especially after having worked with sex workers.
He continued in his HuffPo interview:
"I just finished a [still-unpublished personal essay] for HuffPost about how I primarily work with sex workers to have sex, and honestly, those relationships have saved my life."
"When you're hiring and working with someone you can build a relationship with inset boundaries, there's no drama, it's really cut and dry. I love the fact that I can have sex with sex workers and people who are not sex workers, but I love the agency that my disability has forced me to have over my sex."
A friend of mine took pictures of me yesterday & I like them (which doesn’t happen very often). So yeah, I LOOK GRE… https://t.co/CS0QE206Cm— ⭐️ Herenui Crawford (@⭐️ Herenui Crawford) 1552152145
HuffPo asked how the hashtag met his overarching goal in achieving visibility, and it all boils down to complete transparency.
"The overarching response to my work is that people want and need someone who is going to frankly talk to them about the intersection between queerness, disability and sexuality without sugarcoating it."
"I think what happens when you sugarcoat stuff is that you don't let people's prejudices come out; the more you let people confront their own ableism ― that's how we create change."
#DisabledPeopleAreHot Hot is HOTTT no matter abled or disabled ,,😜😁😉 https://t.co/RsmxdmUYFC— loveandacceptancengo (@loveandacceptancengo) 1551696641
So what does he hope people realize when seeing the hashtag #DisabledPeopleAreHot?
"That disabled people are hot. That's it. I want people to see this hashtag and smile, but it has two purposes. One is for disabled people to see themselves in sexual situations, feeling good about themselves. And the other is for non-disabled people to see us, period."
"To realize we are nuanced and complicated and intricate people with a lot of stuff going on but here we are enjoying ourselves as disabled people."
"We're proud of that. A lot of times in disability politics, people say 'Oh, you should see the person first, not the disability.' And I basically say fuck that. Why can't you see a disabled person? That's what this hashtag is really trying to do."
He hopes to ally with the queer community and team up with organizations to host events and fight ableism through open conversations. And if you need a guide read "The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness."
In the meantime, the hashtag continues to gain momentum as an oft-neglected demographic wants you to know that they are all beautiful and sexy.
Andrew, you're an inspiration.
Disabled Man Forced To Scoot Off Airplane Twice On Honeymoon After United Fails To Provide Him A Wheelchair
United Airlines is apologizing after forcing a paraplegic man to scoot off an airplane while on his honeymoon — twice.
After getting married in November, high school football coach Tyler Schilhabel and his wife, Courtney, were finally heading to their honeymoon in the Dominican Republic last week but, thanks to United, it was far from a dream getaway.
After United failed to provide a wheelchair, Tyler, who is paralyzed from the chest down, says he was forced to scoot down the aisle of the plane on his butt, not once but twice.
Tyler Schilhabel said his honeymoon got off to a rough start when poor service on a United Airlines flight forced h… https://t.co/lt7ixNEWt0— BVarsityLive (@BVarsityLive) 1546657112.0
"It's frustrating, it's humiliating, it's exhausting," Schilhabel told the Bakersfield Californian. "I started to feel physically sick. It was just an unpleasant experience all around."
Once he was back home, Schilhabel posted about the experience on Facebook.
His full Facebook post reads:
"So a little rant about United Airlines.... Courtney and I flew to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon, when we landed they didn't have an aisle chair (my normal chair is too wide to take on the plane) or ramp/elevator to help me off the plane, only a flight of stairs. So I had to scoot down the aisle on my butt to get off and then hop down step by step to get to my chair. THEN today on our way home for our connecting flight in Chicago they didn't have an aisle chair again except this time we were in the very back of the plane so I once again had to scoot all the way down on my butt. I know everybody has travel horror stories, but this was completely ridiculous. I've flown United my last 6 flights and each time they've either been late with getting an aisle chair to me or didn't have one at all. Needless to say I won't be using their business anytime soon."
When Schilhabel was 16 he was left paralyzed after an ATV accident. He now works as the head coach of the Independence High School football team and uses a wheelchair to get around.
Tyler's regular wheelchair is too wide for the aisle of an airplane.
"I always make it a point to let them know I need an aisle chair," Schilhabel said. "I show up at least three hours early to make sure it is taken care of. I did all my due diligence to make sure I covered myself."
But United still didn't have a chair available for Tyler. Flying out of Los Angeles, Tyler and Courtney were headed to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic with a connecting flight in Chicago.
That's where the trouble started, says Schilhabel.
"I've flown with a number of different airlines and either they have the aisle chair waiting there when we land or its there within five minutes."
Schilhabel says he had just 50 minutes to make his connecting flight in Chicago and, even with a chair, that wasn't much time.
When deplaning using an aisle chair, Tyler says he has to wait until all other passengers are off the plane. After waiting 20 minutes for the other passengers to deplane, Schilhabel says he waited another 15 minutes for his chair. Eventually a flight attendant carried him off the plane to his regular wheelchair.
"Luckily, we were able to make it to our connecting flight," Tyler said, but his troubles didn't end there.
When they landed in Punta Cana, it was the same problem all over again. This time Tyler had to scoot down the aisle on his rear, and there were only portable stairs available to exit the plane. Courtney had to help him "hop down step by step," injuring her wrist while doing so.
"We spent the first half-day of our honeymoon laying around and trying to recover from that debacle," said Tyler.
Unfortunately, the trip home was just as bad.
On their return flight, an elevator lifted Schilhabel onto the plane, but when they landed in Chicago there was still no aisle wheelchair available.
Tyler waited 45 minutes before he was forced to scoot 31 rows down the plane's aisle.
"I got really dizzy. I was pretty close to passing out. When you exert a lot of energy, at times that can happen."
After the Bakersfield Californian article, United released a statement addressing the incident:
"We are proud to operate an airline that doesn't just include people with disabilities but welcomes them as customers, Untied told the Californian in an email. "In fact, thousands of people with disabilities fly United every day. That said, this incident falls far short of our own high standard of caring for our customers. We have been in touch with the customer to apologize and assure him that the errors that led to this situation are extremely rare."
Now back home, Schilhabel says United offered to refund his tickets and give him $1000 in travel vouchers. According to Tyler, they also asked him to remove his Facebook post, but he says the offer wasn't worth the trouble.
"It's not worth it to take their vouchers and run the risk of going through all of this again," Tyler said. "It's more about letting people know that this is unacceptable.
And it seems like the word is getting out there.
When will airlines learn? This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. This isn’t acceptable. https://t.co/1dMjt2H0h8— AMCPress+Co (@AMCPress+Co) 1546817636.0
Another airline horror story. RT-Disabled Independence football coach said he was forced to scoot off airplane twic… https://t.co/ORMMd1kQwk— Gregory Mansfield (@Gregory Mansfield) 1546663342.0
@Hydraponica @GHMansfield @Bakersfieldcali I don't know but all my travel is always stressful and it's always down… https://t.co/9LEhT9ZygJ— Huhana Hickey PhD (@Huhana Hickey PhD) 1546724079.0
@GHMansfield @Bakersfieldcali That's infuriating.— Paul Miller ♿ (@Paul Miller ♿) 1546711557.0
@GHMansfield @Bakersfieldcali Is there anything being done on the legislative level to address this?— ⚡CRIP LYRICS⚡AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW❗ (@⚡CRIP LYRICS⚡AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW❗) 1546726962.0
Schilhabel says he's glad United offed an apology but does not believe what happened to him was an isolated incident.
"To me, it's hard to believe that they are truly sympathetic when it seems like it's more than a common occurrence."
After he posted about his experience with United, Tyler says others in the disabled community reached out to him with similar stories.
"People need to know." Tyler says. "And (United) needs to be held responsible for the frankly terrible service that they offered."