Sure, they're cute and seemingly innocent, but there's more than meets the eye with these furry little jerks.
1. Dolphins
They have to keep the dolphins separate at Disney World because they had started catching the sting rays in their beaks, bringing them to the surface, and skipping them like rocks.
2. Emperor Penguins
Those adorable little Emperor Penguins you love? Think again.
The emperor penguin has mastered the dark arts of both child kidnapping and child abandonment. It all starts when an emperor mama returns from finding food, only to find no fuzzy chicks waiting for her. Whether it drowned in the freezing cold water or some jerkwad seal mistook it for a Twinkie, the penguin's child is no longer there. Since making babies is basically all the animal kingdom has going for it until it discovers PlayStation and yoga, the poor ex-parent's hormones kick into overdrive, and she starts seeing red.
Unfortunately, her solution is pure horror. Instead of calling up hubby, turning up the Adele, and working hard to create a new bundle of joy, she simply wanders the snowbanks looking for another emperor penguin's chick. Then, she straight-up steals it, leads it back to her own nest, and raises it as her own ... for about five minutes.
The typical emperor penguin kidnapper will lose interest in her bouncing baby hostage within days, even hours. Most likely, a teeny seedling in that pea brain of hers realizes she didn't hatch that thing, but instead of accepting the responsibility of parenthood that she herself sought out, she quickly disavows the squawking kidlet that she never should have avowed in the first place.
But does she return the child to its nest? Nope! That's too much work. She simply abandons it to die.
3. Cuckoos
Those jerks wait till a mother bird from a different species has left the nest to get food. The Cuckoo will then sneak in a lay an egg in the other birds nest then disappear like John Wayne riding into the sun set.
A few weeks later the Cuckoo egg will hatch, usually before the other birds brood. The cuckoo chick, hours old, will then use a specifically designed hollow in its back to push the other eggs out of the nest, killing them off one by one. The bird then raises the Cuckoo as it's own, never realizing the deception.
When it's old enough the Cuckoo will fledge and leave the nest. It never visits, writes or even remembers the birthday of its adoptive mother
Another thing that makes them dicks, the mother cuckoo doesn't care how big the forced adoptive mother is. The Cuckoo chick is quite often double the size of it's fully grown adoptive parent!
4. Margays
Sometimes known as tree ocelots, Margays are nocturnal cats from southern Mexico down to South America.
Their method is particularly horrible because of how it exploits the good nature of the prey. Margays hunt by mimicking the sound of a baby monkey in distress. Seriously. Although scientists have described the imitation as not being very good, it seems to be fairly effective.
The margay hides and makes a screeching sound that sounds like a baby tamarin that has been injured. An adult tamarin, desperately seeking to rescue the youngster, is then eaten by the margay. No good deed goes unpunished, especially out in the wild.
5. Cats
They are the ultimate dicks. They manipulate you and treat you like crap, yet you somehow cannot get enough of them.
6. Turkeys
They see their reflection in cars and peck the heck out of them.
When I was in grad school and did work at the poultry science unit they always joked about the time that a student went into the lab and (Continued)
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put a disco ball in with the research turkeys (part of the required environmental enrichment). Apparently they all died because they wouldn't do anything except stare at it.
7. The story of the Praying Mantis & Black Widow
I once kept a praying mantis and a black widow as pets in separate containers as a child. One day the gods (parents) decreed that only one shall live to see the sun set (they got tired of all the bugs in jars on the mantle.) So as emperor over my enslaved insects I decided the noblest method of deciding the survivor should be a gladiator type death match between the two. Boy was it awesome, I remember it well even years later.
I moved the mantis into the spider's enclosure (home field advantage?) and naturally she began to explore this new territory. It wasn't long before she came upon her venomous foe, who was simple minded and unaware of the danger, sort of like an idiot with a hand gun. Understanding what her ruler was demanding of her, the loyal mantis began plotting her attack. If you've never seen a mantis hunt its prey, they remain relatively still and fixated on their target swaying slowly in an uncanny imitation of a leaf in the breeze, slowly moving closer and closer. I'd seen her do it many times before with flies and grasshoppers and this possible final battle was no less fascinating to watch. Part of me wondered if she knew the risk of what she was about to do, one small mistake and the mantis would be no more.
Then it happened, in a fraction of a second all hell broke loose and the fires of war were released from their cage.
The mantis lunged with speed but not precision, punching her target but failing to secure grip. Though black widows don't have facial expressions it was clear she was hella confused as to what the hell just slapped her rear. This was no gentle love tap however and the spider's confusion quickly turned to panic and fear as mantis landed her second attack. The initial struggle was brief and paused when the mantis was somehow able to suspend the widow in the air in front of it, holding four legs in each claw with the spider's belly facing the beast (holy damn this mantis trained with batman or something). The spider, despite its fierce reputation and dangerous venom was no match for the sheer strength of the mantis.
What happened next was the single most horrifying but amazing thing I ever witnessed as a child. The mantis, one by one, pulled the legs directly out of the thorax of the spider all while still holding it in the air until it was nothing but a black sphere with a little head on top, so metal. It consumed each leg individually like a wood chipper being fed sticks all while being careful to keep a safe distance from the fangs. I could almost hear the screams of the widow, which was remarkably still alive at this point. This was some Monty Python black knight type stuff. That was until its head was bitten clean off and dropped to the floor of the enclosure. Mantis then proceeded to consume the abdomen and be on her merry way like nothing had ever happened. Emperor was pleased, I named her Munchy and granted her permission to roam freely in my house which surprisingly was ok with the gods. Sometimes a week would go by without any sightings and then I'd wake up one morning to Munchy walking on my ceiling, looking for a worthy opponent to satisfy her thirst for blood.
8. Seagulls
You inland dwellers don't know rage until you've wrestled an ice cream eating seagull.
9. Geese
They have enough power in their wings to snap human bone.
I made the mistake of picking up a goose once. Here's what happened... (Continued)
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I was 8 and it was the worst beating I have ever had in my life. Those wings slapped the sides of my head at the same time, multiple times. I was left a bloody mess, and the goose went wild with pecking and honking at my limp body until my uncle saved my life.
10. Flies
They've got the whole world, the whole damn world to fly in why you gotta fly in my face? Flies are dicks.
I had one of those on my knee when I was 7. It wouldn't fly off even when I ran around or blew on it, so I decided it was obviously trying to make friends with me. 'Great! A six legged flying friend.' I thought, 'I don't have one of those yet. We could have all kinds of fun together! I'll call him Gary.' And proceeded to sit down in the garden and talk to it for the next 20 minutes. When I got a bit bored of the conversation and decided it was time for Gary to move on I got a leaf and started to gently nudge him with it. Wouldn't budge. So I tried a twig, Gary was somehow attached, Gary was starting to hurt my knee. Finally I lost my cool and started to peel him off with my fingers. Then came the blood. Gary wasn't trying to be my friend, Gary was eating me. That was the day I learned about betrayal and darkness.
I hate flies. Particularly horse flies. And especially Gary.
11 Humans.
Enough said.
12. Cane toads
Australians will understand.
Anonymous
13. Horses
They embody all of humanity's worst traits. Hierarchy in the herd determines who gets to eat and breed, so they spend all their free time fighting. Don't be fooled by the docile pony all dolled up under saddle; as soon as they go back in their pen they turn into evil poo-pumps. A horse at the bottom of the pecking order will turn into a teeth-gnashing, hoof-embedding inferno when put into a group they think they can dominate. They will chase each other through electric fences and then expect those same victims to guard them while they sleep.
If they don't like their food or think someone else has better, they will piss on their hay and then chase the other horse away from theirs.
The mothering instinct lasts about one month after foaling, and then the baby becomes another competitor for food. They step on their feed pans because they want to dig out the sweet bits, scattering feed, and then go after another's pan.
They will chew on the very shelter that protects them from the weather, and kick holes in it because they are annoyed. They eat grass to the root and then wonder why none grows back. They poop in their water buckets, on the walls, on each other.
If they sense weakness in the human leading them, they will pull loose and take off. They spook over the slightest shadow, but will bluntly ignore commands that will save them from harm.
Their idea of fun is chewing off each other's blankets in the dead of winter, making them freeze.
Their hooves destroy the ground, their poop destroys the ground, and they love to roll on the ground right after you clean them. They also think it's funny to casually step on you and then ignore your pleas to move.
Horses are dicks.
14. Huntsman Spiders
Huntsman spiders - there is no 'they're more scared of you' type thing with them, they will actually (Continued)
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They will actually run and jump towards you. Not joking.
15. Deer
Here's the thing; they murder probably more people than any other animal by essentially suicide bombing drivers. Occasionally they commit murder and hoof you to death. They're just dicks. Horned dicks.
16. Ants
Ants are famous for hard work and being able to lift many times their body weight, making them the perfect heroes of an Ayn Rand novel, or the perfect working drone of communism depending on who's telling the story.
So why are they so awful?
Ants are the only species besides humans that carry out wars and enslave their own. And by enslave we mean pulling out the ant whips and putting the other guy to work against his will.
The victors raid the other nest, capture any survivors and steal all the eggs. Survivors and newborn ants are then forced to work for the victors' nest as long as they live; or at least until their new masters get a craving for some fresh slave ant, and devour them.
17. Lions
Ah, the lion. The noblest of animals, always sitting majestically on top of some rock, overseeing his dominion and protecting the pride and so on.
Actually, lions are huge jerks. If there is one thing lions love to do, it's moms. Unfortunately, female lions don't like to put out when they're raising a kid. So, when the lions want some but the kids are in the way, they walk up to the little brats and just straight up kill them. Dead. Done. Gone. Then, to add insult to injury, they proceed to try and get it on with the mother.
18. Meerkats
Meerkats are vile. A 15-year study observing 40 large meerkat groups concluded that their leaders are slave-driving, murderous taskmasters who react to any possible competition in the worst manner imaginable: mass infanticide. See, each group is run by an alpha couple, the only 'kats' allowed to make babies. So if another couple of meerkats get it on and the female gets pregnant... uh oh.
The alpha's never happy to meet a wee one that isn't hers. After all, what if one grows up to be the Chosen One to overthrow the tyrant? No. Way.
So how does the Queen ensure those deviant baby meerkats suffer appropriately? (Continued)
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She straight up murders them, right in front of their horrified mother.
And instead of just putting the beta out of her misery, the alpha gives her a Sophie's Choice: Either immediately leave the colony and never return (which, since meerkats aren't good at hunting alone, would turn mom into snake poop within days) or become the alpha's best slave forever. Yes, slave -- the beta would be forced into making milk for the alpha's children and generally babysitting the little brats, because it's not like she has any kids of her own tying her down.
19. Bed Bugs
I know they're just doing their thing, but the fact that they come into my apartment, bite me, ruin my furniture, force me to throw out all my belongings and leave my apartment for such small bugs they can have a huge, annoying impact.
Anonymous
20. The Coot
... yes, that's really this bird's name...
Even without the rated-R moniker, coot chicks are so darn adorable, they manage to turn looking like waterlogged mini-vultures into a positive trait. It's their parents, some of the worst child-rearers since the dawn of time, who are the real issue. Basically, they hatch too many children -- nine or 10 at a time -- and can't feed them all. Coots aren't birds of prey, and often the best meals they can scrounge up are tiny, unfilling non-noms like insects and unbreaded shrimp with no cocktail sauce (can you imagine?!). Mom and dad attempt to divvy up this anti-buffet among their starving, increasingly squawking chicks, but it's not enough. The kids remain hungry, and by now are shrieking nonstop about it.
Obviously, the new parents get fed up.
Coot parents, unable to handle the responsibility of feeding such a noisy, demanding brood, start to actually (Continued)
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They start to actually attack their own children -- biting them on the head and making it perfectly clear that whining isn't okay.
Eventually, they stop attacking all their kids and zoom in on whomever they feel is the weakest. That one gets bitten, pecked, and shunned every time it yells for food, until finally it gets the point and shuts up. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean an invite back to the dinner table. It has officially been disowned, and anything it does will simply invite more violence. The sole option, being a baby, is to slink off and slowly die of starvation.
21. Pandas
They're a complete and total failure as a species. They have no natural predators yet they're still going extinct because they decided to only eat stupid rare sticks and they refuse to bang out a continuation of their species. If the stupid bears want to kill their species in peace, that would be fine, but no, the stupid jerks are cute as heck, so everyone is all "Quick, we need to save the pandas right now!", so a huge chunk of biodiversity preservation funding goes to keep these dumb popular bears alive while numerous other less glamorous species are going extinct with little fuss because they're not "cute".
Sources
I haven't tried these rooms yet. Not sure I want to. Highly claustrophobic. Convince me...
No touching...
"I used to work at one. I can’t tell you how many people thought that power outlets were a prop and tried to stick keys into them. Guys. There was a lamp plugged into it and a 'do not touch, not a part of the game' sticker on it. It’s not a trick, don’t do that."
brasscassette
Shackles
"A friend of mine works for an escape room and he told me one about a puzzle where the key to the next door was shackled to a desk by a combination lock. What you are supposed to do is figure out the combination for the lock from the clues around the room to free the key. What one group decided to do instead was get a guy on each corner and pick up the 150 pound desk and carry it across the room, slide the key into the lock, and then rotate the entire desk to unlock the door."
sharrrper
'Yale'
"I am not an escape room employee but I did a lot of em and talked to the employees often. One of them told me there was a simple lock (opened by a key) that had 'Yale' written on it (the name of the lock company) and a lady (not native English speaker) thought it read 'yell' and legit shouted 'OPEN!!' at it, expecting it to open."
Dorza1
searching the fountain...
"Recently went to an escape room with my co-workers. Before we started, we were explicitly warned not to touch or drink the bright blue water coming out of a fountain because it would turn our skin blue - clearly people had tried searching the fountain as part of the escape room previously and now they have to warn everyone."
babers1987
Voice of God
Whos That Voice Of God GIF by Shark WeekGiphy"I was in an escape room once where one puzzle involved some objects that needed to be manipulated inside a structure that made it very awkward."
"We were all looking at it trying to figure out how to proceed when I said 'Well, the bottom is held on with screws and I have a screwdriver in my purse, but that would probably be cheating.' Instantly the Voice of God came over the intercom 'THAT WOULD BE CHEATING!' So we didn't do that..."
Miss_Speller
Well people really do get creative at this game... don't they?
Reverse
genius GIFGiphy"Had a group of engineers who were familiar with the style of the lock effectively reverse engineer the lock. They showed us how they did it afterwards."
Snowf1ake222
Smoked...
"When I was in one they told us several times that the fire extinguisher is NOT part of the puzzle. They said it so many times, I'm 98% sure someone once used it lol."
Zirael_Swallow
"I always wait to see if they say not to disassemble smoke detectors, if they have that warning, I ask about it, and every time they will always have a story about a dumby who ignored the warning labels and disassembled the smoke detector."
cleverplaydoh
Group of 4
"There was a story on here a while ago about a guy in a group of four who took a broom from the first room because 'it had to be for something.' He said it looked too out of place to not be needed. Well he was half right. It was out of place but that's because it was the broom used by employees to clean the room."
"It was simply forgotten when they cleaned last time. The guys giving hints thought it was hilarious that this guy carried a broom through four rooms expecting it to be the key to their escape at some point. I thought that was funny as hell."
PCCoatings
Damages...
"Take in a screwdriver and dismantling furniture or taking doors off hinges... all the while we specifically tell them not to use force and that furniture is just furniture. Though I don't care cause they gotta pay the damages. Also had some groups press our panic button cause that opens all the doors (for emergency cases)."
"So they can skip puzzles and be faster. Makes zero sense to us cause they are paying for an hour of playtime and to solve puzzles, not like the prize is reduced cause you solved less in fewer minutes. Especially since our prices aren't cheap."
karmasabitterpill
Idiots
Idiot Facepalm GIFGiphy"Breaking EVERYTHING. Trying to eat or drink things they should totally not be trying to eat or drink."
Radiant-Comb9058
Even though there are a million ways to escape, I'm still gonna pass. My claustrophobia won't allow it.
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While many cultures should be celebrated, there are some individuals who just can't help but reserve their opinions about those whose behavior and customs differ vastly from their own.
At the risk of coming off as offensive, some might even call these customs, "weird."
European culture got the spotlight when Redditor CoffeeBoy88 asked:
"What is something weird about Europe that Europeans don’t realize is weird?"
Apparently, there's never a dull moment in European nations.
"German tourists are OBSESSED with mooses."
"/A swede."
– worldkeeponspinning
No Offense
"The UK has 30 accents per square mile. And if a large man calls you duck in Stoke … that’s okay."
– InItsTeeth
Nighttime Exposure
"Norwegians don't close their curtains when it gets dark."
– judochop1
The Swarm
"The amount of mosquitos in Finland, Americans go crazy in Spring because of it."
– TheFargus
Redditors discuss what it's like traveling around Europe.
Come And Go As You Please
"How incredibly inconsequential it is to cross country borders. Cycled through France - Belgium - Netherlands and there is barely even a sign."
– sicknessandpurgatory
The Contrast
"You drive five hours in the US: you’re basically still in the same place."
"You drive five hours in Europe: everyone’s talking funny and the cheese is different."
– KaimeiJay
The Short Commute
"The first time I was in the UK my husband wanted to go to Wales and I looked at the train route from London and was like 'It’s all the way on the other side of the country! We’re only in the UK for a week. We don’t have that kind of time!' And my husband was all, 'you know it’s a 2.5 hour train ride, right?' I thought it would all day."
– KateDinNYC
Germans In Transport
"the absolute lack of air conditioning even at 40°, german transport gets sticky and stinky quite fast and nobody seems to care, many people even shut the windows to avoid the 'annoying breeze.'"
– ahorasimeaborregue
Maintaining distance was a thing long before pandemic measures recommended people to be socially distanced.
All About Respect
"Finnish people are silent, small talk doesn't exist. Their personal space larger than COVID-19 social distancing rules, and it's considered normal. Don't speak unless spoken to, and don't invade other people's personal space - it's seen as a sign of a respect."
"Those Finns, who haven't been to abroad or haven't met too many foreigners, don't often even recognize this behaviour being unusual in the global scale."
– RockNRollNBluesNJazz
The "Safety Coffee Cup"
"I'm from Finland and one European thing that all Finnish people hate is cheek kisses when greeting. Its mostly southern european thing but still. There is this saying in Finland that goes 'Everyone has their own safety coffee cup' meaning the closest distance someone should get to you should not be closer than your coffee cup when you're holding it."
– eelisonparas
Let Them Shop In Peace
"Weird at first but I appreciate and wish for it. It might be just a Germany thing but from what I’ve been told German Walmart failed because the North American style of customer service was very unliked. From the greeter at the door to clerks asking if you need help unprompted. German shoppers just want to shop and go home as undisturbed as possible."
– UnusualHospital9579
I remember being weirded out when I went to Paris and asked for some ice at a cafe.
The waiter served me coke by opening the room temperature can and poured some of the contents into an empty glass. With no ice.
When the server came back, he had with him a spoon with one ice cube on it. I thought it was stingy but it got worse.
He poured the rest of the coke over the ice on the spoon he was holding and then walked away with the ice and spoon.
I guess the coke was colder than when I had my first sip, so according to the server, it was viola: mission accomplished!
Do the French not like ice-cold beverages? Weird.
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People tend to forget that therapists–the professional we seek for guidance when we're vulnerable–are also human and are just as prone to feeling the feels.
Curious to hear from therapists who've exposed their emotional vulnerabilities in front of their clients opened up when Redditor Unkw0n_pers0n asked:
"Therapist that have cried in a session, why?"
A patient who feels seen and understood reinforces why therapists endeavor to help people in the first place.
It Wasn't Her Fault
"I was working with a deeply depressed client who had a lot of negative self talk about how she was always a failure. We were exploring the origins of this and how young she was the first time she felt self-blame. She told me her earliest story of when she was in 2nd grade."
"Afterwards, as we were processing it, I expressed that 'it wasn't your fault' about the story. She just broke down sobbing and said 'nobody has ever said that to me before' in between sobs. It hit me and I cried a little."
– Ayzmo
Relatable Experience
"i cried after i worked with a kid who described an emotionally difficult situation with a sibling. the kid’s experience aligned very similarly to something i went through with my own sibling when i was the kid’s age and i hadn’t realized how much hurt i was carrying from the experience."
"being a therapist sometimes means being confronted with things you didn’t realize had such a strong impact on you. luckily, i have a stellar therapist of my own that i can work through these moments with."
– rejecteddroid
The Patient With A Disorder
"I was doing a cognitive assessment for a girl. We were doing tests and at one point she started crying she was unable to tell me why, she was fine just one moment before. I let her collect her thoughts, then she said softly 'I don't want to be more stupid than my friends'. She wasn't actually, she was very bright, but she didn't know that she has dyslexia, dysorthograpy AND dyscalculia. I realized that she went through THIRTEEN years of school without help. Her parents didn't want to do an assessment as they thought she was just lazy. I told her that she was very brave to decide to get help and things would get better after our assessment and I felt tears in my eyes."
"Edit: first of all, I have great empathy for parents, for most of all is just a matter of ignorance, fear and parenting is hard. If you are a parent and you see your kid struggling, PLEASE listen to professionists, we are here to help, not judge, and we will find ways to help you and your kid. Disorders don't go away, don't underestimate it, the sooner you get help, the better the outcome can be. It's ok to be scared but we're here for you and we understand you."
"Second, I'm really sorry to read so many heartbreaking stories about people that weren't believed and struggled being undiagnosed. I wish you all the best, I hope you are in a better situation and you got or you'll get all the help you deserve, because you do deserve it."
"Third, if you think 'something's wrong with me', get help if you are in a position to do so. Worst case you understand yourself better and have a chance do make peace with parts of yourself."
– ---honeybadger----
A patient who has already accepted their heartbreaking fate recalls seeing their therapist getting emotionally involved during a session.
A Mother Who Didn't Want To Let Go
"My therapist cried while 'mediating' a discussion between my mom and I. I have a neurodegenerative disease and she is my full time caregiver. Because of my severe disability, she also has legal guardianship of me, even though I am in my 20’s (this is all fine with me, I need the help, and I agreed in court to all of it. This was the first true 'disagreement' that we ever had.)"
"I am ready to die. I am in pain, unable to do anything for myself, and it’s only getting worse. I asked my mom to sign a DNR, because I have been resuscitated before, it was a mess, and I don’t want it to happen again."
"She refused. She doesn’t want to lose her child and wanted to do everything medically possible to keep me alive."
"The session was essentially me begging her to let me go, while she sobbed and said she could never sign a paper that would lead to my death. It was a terrible situation. No one was 'the bad guy', no one was trying to hurt the other. It was someone wanting their suffering to end, verses a mother not wanting to lose her child."
"My therapist agreed that I should be allowed to make this choice, but certainly didn’t think my mom was manipulative or evil, just already grieving and trying to hold on to me as long as possible. I saw her wipe her eyes several times, and they were red by the time we were done. She actually hugged us both at the end."
"The situation wasn’t resolved during the session, but my mom came around shortly after. She wouldn’t sign the DNR, but gave me legal permission to do so (so, in her mind, it wasn’t her making the final decision.)"
"BTW, my mom and I have a GREAT relationship! This was just one issue that we couldn’t come to an agreement on ourselves. But it worked out, and I’m now in palliative care and have a great team looking after me, INCLUDING my mom!"
– fightwithgrace
The following examples continue to demonstrate how therapists are more emotionally invested in their patients and clients than you think.
Responding To Tragic News
"I cried in a substance treatment group. A client’s mom had reached out via email to me to say that her daughter died from an OD. She called during my group so I chose to take the call and spoke with her briefly. I thought I could continue with the group. Ended up in tears instead."
– ChicagoOwls
She Patient Who Felt Unloved
"My patient cried and said 'there's nobody on this planet who loves me anymore.' I cried when I left because I knew she was right. For context: she was 95, her husband and son had died, she had a personality disorder that made her behaviour unbearable for her environment after her husband died and every person still in her life were paid for to be around her. She died a few months after this conversation."
It is unsurprising that therapists are compassionate people.
Otherwise, they wouldn't be in the room to help someone who is struggling internally.
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