If you've ever lived in an apartment with ultra-thin walls, you'll know how difficult it is to have a private life. Or, for your neighbors to have a private life, for that matter. Here, people share the most delicious secrets they've heard through ultra-thin walls that they definitely weren't meant to.
1. When you hear something super sad
I learned that my neighbour's husband was beating her. It was super sad. They had a 2 year old at the time and I knew she was a stay at home mom. So...one day I had a week day off work, went over with a cake, and made her my best friend. At the time she had a broken arm and two huge black eyes. She didn't have any friends as she wasn't from the area. I helped her with her kid, I helped her dump him, I helped her move back to her home province and we're still best friend to this day.
Here's some answers to some faq's:
-I didn't call the police as I was young and scared and didn't know what to do. I was 18 at the time and had just move to the city. One of the most dangerous cities in the country. I was worried that their kid would get taken away, or that he would know it was me and try to beat me up. Contrary to seemingly popular belief, I'm a girl (as indicated by the princess in my username), and I'm not a sizeable one. I figured it would be easier for her for me to just be someone to talk to and she could decide if she wanted to call the police or not. When I went over that day I just the new neighbor wanting to make friends (this happened when I had lived in the building about 3 weeks), I didn't even mention her eyes or cast that day. We just sat around and giggled and compared Archie Comic collections. We legit became best friends in the matter of hours.
-I have not seen Drive, but I guess I should check it out. I for some reason thought it was about Ryan Gosling stealing cars? Whateves, I'll give it a go.
-It was a "McCain's Deep and Delicious" marble cake, as I'm not a baker.
2. The juicy gossip on the Facebook nudes
My neighbor's teenage daughter sent some nudes via Facebook and got caught by her mom. That girl got yelled at like I've never heard. And I heard it all because I turned off everything in my place that made noise and stood with my ear against the wall basically the entire time.
3. The guy that would be embarrassed to have an audience
My neighbour has been learning to play guitar for almost a year now, he's gotten a lot better! Shhhhh!
4. This is our new Sunday night entertainment
In college, we could always hear a girl and her boyfriend argue. It went on for weeks. Each time, I'd mute the television and listen in. Housemates thought it was odd at first, but once they started hearing the crap this couple said, they were totally on board.
5. It was entertaining, until...
When I was younger, I moved into this new apartment complex. First night there, it started... Sex noises. Every night around 11pm I hear this couple having sex, loud sex. I admit that I found it a bit entertaining (because it never went on for too long) until a couple weeks later. I see the guy walking out of his apartment. 75 years old and quite husky. Nobody was having sex... I was listening to his porn over surround sound.
6. Uh... I can explain
I had cops called on me for suspected domestic abuse when I was fresh out of college. I lived alone at the time and what actually happened was (Continued)
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I lived alone at the time and what actually happened was that I beat the crap out of my box fan after a 5 game losing streak on SCII ladder.
7. Personal concerts are oh-so-sweet
My neighbor sings to someone through the phone about 3 nights a week. I don't know what he is saying but it sounds like he really loves whoever it is he is singing to. I don't really get annoyed by it because I think it's a pretty sweet thing to do. It's to the point now that if I don't hear singing for a while I get a little worried about him.
8. The perfect neighbor
My neighbor is the perfect neighbor, single guy in his 40s, he makes no noise and is rarely home; I see him leaving sometimes in the morning always in a suit and tie, hair perfectly combed, and he drives a M6.
But one weekend each month his two sons come to visit him.
They're both pretty young, and the week before they come I have heard him on the balcony talking with someone on the phone about the plans he's made to do with his boys once they're there.
Also once they're at his apartment I can hear him read to them every night before bed.
9. "They couldn't live without each other"
Lived in a four apartment strip back in the 90's. Quiet, peaceful, perfect.
One Saturday afternoon, I'm sitting on the couch watching tv and hear a gunshot. Second later, another. I run next door and pound on the door, can't get in.
So I call 911, tell them this and cops show up pretty quick.
Turns out the elderly couple next door did a murder-suicide pact because they didn't want to live without one another.
10. Wine isn't alcohol...right?
Some jerkwad who lives right above me is a lot louder than he seems to think he is. Just the other night, I learned he's "quitting alcohol and switching to wine."
11. Neighbors who appreciate food this much are worth keeping
My neighbors used to get really high and make crazy food and eat snacks loudly late into the night. My favorite thing I ever heard as I was passing by was: (Continued)
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"Dude. Yes."
"And then put some friggin cheese in it dude."
"You mean stuff it in inside the bell pepper??"
"Hell yes! And then put it in the oven!"
Loud moaning
12. Suspicious renovations in the middle of the night
My upstairs neighbours absolutely love to move their furniture around. I assume this is supposed to be a secret because it only happens between 3 am - 4 am.
13. The sounds of a new beginning
I heard my neighbor give birth when I was a kid. It was planned, there were a bunch of people there and she did it in a bathtub or something.
14. Today we're broken up, tomorrow we're together, repeat
My next-door neighbor used to constantly break up with her boyfriend and have loud sobbing phone calls with her friends late at night.
One time a friend even called the police because he was worried she would harm herself. I saw the police walking down the hall as I was coming home and they thought I was her at first.
Then they went into her apartment and spoke for 30 minutes about love, pills and the importance of staying resilient in the face of breakups. The officer was a great guy, but I heard way too much.
15. This guy's a true adventurer!
I learned that my old neighbor's kid is... an adventurer in the body of a nine-year-old boy. The first conversation I ever heard between mother and son was something akin to her shrieking, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE CARPET?"
"I'M DIGGING A HOLE, MOM!"
I often heard her crying and one time asking him if he'd prefer to live with his dad, because he seemed miserable with her. She thought that was why he was acting out. He ended up crying, too, and begging her to let him stay. So he did, and at least they seemed to get on better after that.
To not end on a sour note, the funniest thing I think I heard was her shrieking, "OH MY GOD, WHERE DID YOUR CLOTHES GO?"
"NOT HERE."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"I'M FREE, MOM! I'M FREE!"
She scolded him, but after I heard him stomp off, I heard her laughing pretty hard on the other side of the wall.
16. This is so sad :(
I've learned that my neighbor probably abuses his wife...
Which of the 3am hallway arguments brought me to that conclusion? (Continued)
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Was it the one where she locked him out and he tried to break down the door? Or the one where four separate neighbors called the cops because they were screaming at each other for almost an hour?
No, the one that really fixed my impression of him is when he chased her down the stairs carrying a metal pipe and he swung so hard at her that he broke off a chunk of the concrete. I kept the broken shards as a souvenir for the cops. I really hope she gets out.
17. A lady and her cat
The woman next door has a relationship with her cat that's... interesting. She's a recluse in her mid forties. Nuthin' wrong with that, but she doesn't seem to be handling it well.
She treats it like a human, and I'm not talking about how much she loves it. Her relationship with it plays out as if he were an actual family member, dynamics and all. They have fights. A lot. Mostly, she feels that he neglects her feelings and doesn't appreciate how much time she puts into being at work and doing all of the housework. She wishes he would at least help take the trash out. And when she has "sexy time" with herself, she doesn't understand why he complains about having to go outside.
Last night they had another fight, but I got home late, so I don't know what it was about. She spent about an hour throwing things, and eventually kicked him out for awhile. It's weird.
18. Heh heh heh...
That their obnoxious music played late at night is played through a Bluetooth device that I can control.
Here's a little backstory on how I've found it for those asking. I had purchased an Amazon Echo device and was setting it up when I realized there was a device available to connect to called Vizio Sound bar. I connected to it and played a song from my phone. Instantly I knew I struck gold when the walls started shaking and my wife runs in the room to complain about the neighbors. I said "No babe, that was me. I'm connected to their stereo" Let the petty revenge begin.
19. An apartment full of interesting people
My neighbor next to me has an unhappy relationship. The neighbor above me is gay and has dreams of going to Broadway. He also might be an insomniac.
20. Hey! We all want what we want, even if it's an orgie
My neighbor that lives below us likes to host multi-person sex parties. I was suspicious when a group of dudes showed up after her boyfriend moved out. Loud music was playing, so I figured it was just a party and a group of dudes showed up at the same time. Then the music shuts off in the living, but turns on in the bedroom. Proceed to hear dudes cheering each other on, her asking them to "give her more dick", high fives and other slappy sounds....it was awkward getting the mail the next day as she slowly walked her dog. She looked like she was hurtin.
21. "We appreciate her eccentricities"
Just got my first solo apartment and I'm loving it! Most of the people are my age and really cool....but there is this (Continued)
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Most of the people are my age and really cool....but there is this needle thin probably 50-60 older woman that walks the halls day and night. Every single day. She waits for people to come out of their apartment and then sparks up very strange conversations. Looked out my window the other night at about 1 am and she's wandering around the parking lot picking up cigarette butts and smoking them.
I am always nice and patient with her and as she may have early signs of dementia like people keep telling me She could just be a very odd individual. Either way, I treat her with respect, and appreciate her eccentricities.
22. As if this actually happened!
Ex and I heard neighbors going at it (younger couple around our age). Their bedroom against our bedroom - layouts are mirrored.
We laughed really hard about it at first. Then it got really annoying. So we basically started making all the sex noises at the same time they did. After about couple months of doing the noises to them, I ran into the neighbor getting mail and we both cracked up hard. Came to find out they had heard us having sex first and started making noises. Which we thought was them having sex so for the past few months the 4 of us were literally laying in bed making sex noises at each other through the walls...
23. "You called Julia 'Kari' last night..."
This is about me.
I own a condo now but I used to live in a cheap apartment. At the time I was actively seeing three different girls. I lived next to a family of three (young child) and they were very quiet.
One morning, heading out the door, the mother said to me: "Hey, you called Julia "Kari" last night."
That was how I found out I had thin walls.
24. How many guys can we fit in one dorm room?
There was two women that lived above me. College aged, same as me and my roommate. You could hear everything through the floor. Everything.
The woman above me had lots of sex. And that's fine, but it was always loud and it was always at 4 am or 5 am or some shit. I had to work early a lot of days so it was really really irritating.
So one night, I stand on my bed and hit the ceiling with my shoe and ask them to quiet down. The noise stops but the talking starts.
Guy: "Did you hear that? I think someone was talking to us."
Girl: "Nah. The dude downstairs is probably watching TV."
Me: I am talking to you. The people on the third floor. Please be quiet. I gotta work in a couple hours.
Guy#2: "He's definitely talking to us."
Girl: "No he isn't!"
Me: Wait? Two guys?!
Guy #3: "No. There's three of us."
25. This takes 'we're close' to a whole new level
Sometimes I can actually feel when my neighbor (Continued)
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uses the toilet. If I'm in my bathroom, especially on the toilet, I feel a shift upwards as if they say down at the same table as me.
26. Tensions rising in this household
Everyone seems to have neighbors who have sex a lot. I heard my neighbors get into a fight because she apparently WON'T have sex with her husband anymore. Because of couuuuurse that's her fault and couldn't be anything to do with him.
27. "I know your pooping schedule by heart"
My neighbor poops at 430am and pounds on the wall due to constipation.
28. When in doubt, get 'em with glitter
I'm in a dorm. I know EVERYTHING about the love life of my three neighbors - mostly because they tend to shriek about it at 2 am. Also I know that I can take them down with glitter, as the one time someone put balloons and glitter on their door it started a screaming match between the girls that lasted all day. I have plans.
29. Nosy cops never make good neighbors
That the cop next door is way too nosy.
The kids who lived above me used to throw parties all the time. Loud music, drunken yelling, the works. He thought it was me, and apparently my RF/DC shirt (a parody of the AC/DC logo but for a science thing) was proof enough. He called the cops on me one night when the kids threw a party again.
I open my door in my starwars pajamas to two uncomfortable looking cops. They take one look at me, apologized, and explained the mistake. I found out later it was my neighbor when he got in my face about the noise I was making... it was my sewing machine... at 2 in the afternoon.
30. "It's a coincidence, I swear!"
My neighbors get turned on and have sex after my gf and I have sex.
31. Oooooh this is worth eating dinner cold for
The family living next to me had a teenage daughter and her mom walked in on her laying face down in the bathroom floor trying to take a picture of either her nether regions to send to some 30 something guy she met online. I know all of these details because mom shouted them at dad when he got home from work and berated daughter for hours. Mom also called the police to report the guy asking for the pictures. I ate my supper cold because I didn't want to make microwave noise in the kitchen because mom was on a roll and it was pretty entertaining.
Source for external photo: Shutterstock / Ollyy
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.