'Survived A Non-Survivable Plane Crash' And Other One In A Million Stories
Beating the odds and surviving a normally deadly situation, such as a plane crash or freak illness, can truly be a one in a million experience. If you're lucky enough to pull through, you get bragging rights for life. And you may even end up fearless... who wouldn't want that?
--SharkBoy-- asked: Were you ever that 1 in 1,000,000? If so, what's your story?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Seems like a waste, but okay.
For my seventh birthday we went to Disneyland.
They just happened to be having a car a day giveaway when we were there.
For my seventh birthday, Mickey Mouse gave me a Pontiac Firebird.
Do you still have the car?
Nah, since I was only 7 at the time, the car went to my mom. By the time I was old enough to drive, it was scrap.
Nature works in strange ways.
I was diagnosed with leukemia and I got a bacteria growth which killed the leukemia, a real 1 in 1,000,000 chance. I almost died thanks to that bacteria, though.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
But did you pee on it?
When I was a kid, I was chilling in the water of the Mediterranean Sea in Turkey. Suddenly I felt an awful burning sensation on my stomach and my legs. I looked like I had been brutally sandpapered and I got a 40°C (104°F) fever.
Turns out I made contact with a jellyfish, and later found out that it hadn't happened on that beach for 10 years or so. I was just extremely unlucky.
What beach was it? I got a really minor jelly fish sting when I lived in Turkey also. No idea on the rarity at that beach tho.
It was in Alanya, 22 years ago.
There are like three 1:1,000,000's in here.
Not sure about the odds on this one, but I survived a "non-survivable" plane crash. I was on an old po-2 (famous for being very safe and uncrushable) on a tour of the desert in western China when I was like 7. My father's friend who hosted me and piloted the plane didn't survive but somehow I got out with a concussion and apparently passed out for almost a day in the middle of the desert, in the wreckage of the crash, 50 km from the town/airport, on the edge of the desert. The people who found me were some tree planters (they plant greens in the desert to protect towns from sandstorms, a lot of people who live in these desert towns in China do this) found me on their way picking up a shipment, and the only reason they looked was bc they were making a bet on how fast the egg would cook in the sand and went off the road to test.
Edit: First thing first, according to legends, 15 min, I never tested it though. So, according to my dads, the theory that I might have lived was because the plane was mostly made out of fabrics and wood. So when the plane crashed, the front half collapsed and took the majority of the impact. Though I got knocked out, I was probably covered under the wreckage and in the shades, it cooled me off enough to survive for a day or so!
That's awesomely unbelievable! Did it make you afraid to fly, or fearless?
Nah, tbh, I didn't remember enough for it to actually cause like a traumatic experience or anything.
And that, kids, is how I met your mother.
How I met my wife.
I'm from the Netherlands, she is from the US. We met in Israel.
It was my first weekend in Israel, decided to go on a pub crawl to meet some people and have fun, as I'm buying the ticket my now wife walks up to the counter to also buy a ticket. The girl working there introduces us, we hit it off the first night but I'm leaving in 2 days to stay with friends of friends in the middle of the desert for 3 months.
2 days after I leave I lose my phone, don't have any way to get back in touch with her. I had little money and could stay/work with the people in the desert. But I kept thinking about her so after a week I say I'm leaving. Take the next bus (goes 3 times a week, at 5am) and then a train to Tel Aviv. I had no idea how to find her, where to stay and very little money.
I email a couple hostels to find a work/stay agreement, those jobs are very popular and usually planned months in advance. I get an email back when I arrive in Tel Aviv, I can come in for an interview because they have a spot (this is already ridiculously lucky).
Right after the interview and dropping of my belongings. I went back to the first hostel to see if they would give me information, they wouldn't give me anything.
Now I'm at a loss, Tel Aviv is a city of more than half a million people, I don't know anyone and have little more than the clothes on my back.
Kind of defeated I start wandering around/exploring the city. After a couple hours I get hungry and decide to treat myself to a restaurant. I'm well out of the tourist area and find a place that's almost empty and rather cheap. I sit down, order a drink and something to eat. As I get my food I see my now wife walking past the restaurant, she sees me I see her. I'm literally dumb struck and just kind of grin and wave (remember how I lost my phone? She didn't know that and just thought I ignored her) she waves and keeps walking. I throw like 200 shekels (way too much) in the table and sprint after her, explained and the rest is history.
Really poor timing.
I was in 2 separate car crashes in 2 separate cars in less than 45 minutes apart. I wasn't the driver for either crash. First car was hit from the side. Friend came and picked us up, car lost traction and we slid off the road and hit a pole. Neither was that bad, just poor timing.
I was too! If you count the ambulance. Someone pulled out in front of me and I hit them because I had no time to brake. Had some bad back pain so an ambulance took me to the hospital. On the way there, someone pulled out in front of them!
What kind of f*ckwit pulls out in front of an ambulance?
Autoimmune disorders suck.
I am a 19-year-old male. In August of last year, I was driving with my sister, when suddenly her face turned cold. "Gavin your eyes are yellow," I remember her saying. I quickly pulled down the passengers mirror, and to my horror, two yellow eyes radiated back at me.
Fast forward, I spent a month being sick, the initial diagnosis was Hepatitis A.
Went back to the doctor, nothing was better(things were worse in fact). Was sent to the ER, then to the liver transplant unit at UCSF. By this point my eyes had turned muddy orange, and my pee was the color of... a mahogany tree.
Anyways, the team of liver doctors at UCSF managed to save my liver. I was diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis. Oh, and my eyes are white again :)
Hey! I have that too! I was in the hospital for a solid week and they tested me for everything under the sun until they finally realized that I had autoimmune hepatitis. I was in so much pain leading up to going to the hospital that when I walked, I could feel every bone in my feet and if someone bumped into me and hit my arms, it was excruciating. They originally thought I had cancer.
Hey it's actually really cool hearing your story.. my symptoms weren't as bad as yours, as far as the pain levels. They have online support groups for people with our condition (which I haven't tried yet), but it's really.. nice to hear of someone with the same condition. I wish you a swift recovery!
Gotta love universal health care...
Had two 11cm benign tumours growing in my spine, resulting in gradual paralysis from my chest down. They had no idea how the tumours formed. Surgery took 11 hours when they thought it would take 4 because the tumours were so complexly woven throughout my spine. I now have pretty much half a spine and chronic pain but I'd take that over losing my life from paralysis and being unable to breathe 🙏🏼
My dad has this, minus one of the tumors.
Experienced not so severe back pain his whole life. One day it just became unbearable but doctors said you're just getting old, go home and take some Advil. Lol, my dad said frick that, went to a private clinic and had an MRI done on his back. Wouldn't you know it, tumor in his spine. About 3 days later, he was on the operating table with one of the best neurosurgeons in the country. Surgery took about 9 hours. Poor sob felt so much better after the surgery that the next day, he walked and met my mom and I at the hospital doors when we arrived.
This unfortunate soul.
I'm allergic to potatoes. Never met someone else who is so I guess it's one in a million. Never eaten chips or fries.
Not me but my mom is allergic to potatoes, never met someone else with a potato allergy except my mom wow
Wow, this is amazing! Has she any other allergies? I'm also "blessed" with allergy towards carrots. :(
Well this is terrifying.
I slept wrong one night and pinched a nerve in my neck so severely I lost the use of the right side of my body, it just went silent like it wasn't there for months. I woke up in the worst pain I've ever experienced and couldn't talk, move or do anything. The ER doctor thought I was having a stroke.
My doctor had never seen a case as severe as mine and it was purely a freak accident. Recovery took months but I have use of my leg and hand again, with some numbness. Other than pain and spasms I'm mostly back to normal.
I hate reading stuff like this. If you're not safe lying asleep on a mattress, where are you safe?!?
If it makes you feel better the chances of it happening are smaller than dying in a fire in your sleep.
What up Freaky Foot?
The first one I don't know about the exact odds, but I was born on 7/7/77 and weighed 7 pounds & 7 ounces. Sadly though I clocked in at 6:50 A.M.
The other is that around the age of 14 I started to notice the outsides of both of my feet starting to get much wider. After a couple of years of buying expensive custom made shoes they decided to perform surgery on my feet. Turned out I had extra muscle growth along with something else I don't recall at the moment. My podiatrist told me he submitted a scholarly article on it. May also have been genetic as when my Dad was 3, he developed an extra toe growing out of each one of his big toes.
Whaaat? At three?? I knew you could develop extra toes as a fetus, but at THREE? Criminy. Is no-one safe?
Awwww.
A bird got into my room through a tiny hole in the ceiling and took a shit on me. BirbHole in ceiling
He looks so angry that he got caught loll
UNHAND ME HUMAN
GET YOUR FILTHY PALMS OFF OF ME, YOU BARBARIAN. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Whoops.
When I was a teenager I had just started working at the local Sears auto center Express lube shop and on day one did a quick orientation and my first oil change. The manager walked away when he felt I was good to go and the oil change went well. Fast forward a few days later my manager asked me to come into his office and he explained that the oil filter I had used had one huge flaw. I didn't know what that was and it turned out the filter was pressed on backwards into the filter can and it wouldn't allow oil to flow in and it damaged the motor. They had to purchase a new motor for the person and I still kept my job. He said it was a 1 in a million chance that would have happened and it did on my first oil change.
They have insurance for a reason. All sorts of weird stuff happened at our WalMart, defective tires, filters, oil, you name it. They don't hold the employees accountable for their weird stuff.
Maybe even the manufacturer of the oil filter covered that because it was a manufacturing defect.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I've got the middle toes on both feet webbed.
So did Stalin.
Quack.
This feels like a fun fact but at the same time a threat.
Agree. That's a significantly menacing "quack."
What a legacy.
I have an unknown type of autosomal dominant centronuclear myopathy. My type of it is so rare that they haven't even seen it before. Getting diagnosed was a multi year struggle. They pretty much had to rule out everything else. It doesn't feel great to be in this club by myself. Countless blood draws, MRIs, cat scans and a biopsy and genetic test. So far, it looks like my father and I, are the only ones with it. Yay.
Edit: thank you guys for all the kind messages and support. I really do appreciate it. If anyone is going through the struggle of getting a diagnosis, message me. I can't help with the diagnosis, but I can help with the feelings.
Second edit: As a researcher has pointed out. This isn't really rare. Just a type that hasn't really been seen in the population yet. Meaning there is certainly more people out there. Just not tested or diagnosed yet. In the future, I'll probably be 1 in 50,000 to 1 in 100,000. Sorry to make everyone think I was one in a million.
My brother & I have a new type of muscular dystrophy apparently. The biopsy sucked and I hate the permanent scar (keloid scarring so it's bumpy & weird). Years of tests and being sedated for things. The files were so large it was insane. Going to the special kids hospitals up until we were old to say no enough is enough.
The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient
Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'
National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."
~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath
It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.
But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.
Reddit user Monsah asked:
"What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?"
Reproductive Health
"I was being treated on week 2 with medication for an ectopic pregnancy—fetus in the fallopian tube, 0% chance for baby, very small chance for myself to live if not taken care of. I was told to go to the ER if I developed severe pain."
"I developed severe pain and went to the ER."
"The doctor on call sat there and tried to casually discuss what kind of pain meds I might like WITH MY HUSBAND as I was writhing in pain on the bed. Husband insists doc should just make a decision and give me the meds now."
"Finally gave me a pain pill and told me no need for an ultrasound, just did some bloodwork for my file. I go home and wait it out with a script for pain meds."
"I told him the pain was severe and could be the tube bursting and he told me that miscarriages just hurt."
"I went into the gyno treating me 2 days later and he took one look at me and booked me for emergency surgery. The tube had burst and I had so much internal bleeding that they had to have a general surgeon assist in the cleanup in my abdomen."
"My bowels were adhering to the broken tube and had to be carefully separated. Later, my doc told me I was very lucky and the moron at the ER should have sent me in to an ultrasound based on the pain alone."
"The blood work was apparently alarming."
"Went back for an IV to the same sh*tty ER a few months after. That same sh*t ER doc checked my abdomen and saw the surgery scars."
"He commented I must have recently had an operation!"
"I told him 'yeah, you misdiagnosed my burst ectopic pregnancy and I had to get emergency surgery at a different hospital'. He didn't say sh*t after that."
"If I had the money, I would sue the a**hole."
~ poppykayak
"I also had an ectopic several years ago. I had missed my period and suspected being pregnant."
"A week later had severe pain where I couldn’t stand up and walk and wasn’t sure if it was my period coming on. Went to an urgent care and they confirmed I was pregnant but probably having a miscarriage."
"The pain was bad in my side, and I even suspected ectopic—but the male doctor there said miscarriages are painful and he knows what ectopic pain should look like, and that’s definitely not what I have."
"He told me to go home and just basically rest."
"So I believed him, and headed out—a nurse, female, stopped me in the front lobby and strongly insisted I go to the ER. My husband also wouldn’t let me just brush it off and took me in."
"At the ER they did an ultrasound and my entire abdomen was filled with fluid. I had emergency surgery and got really lucky with a rare ectopic that exploded backwards into my peritoneal cavity (called a tubal abortion) and got away without a ruptured ovary."
"The female surgeon said that in her 20 year career she had never seen a case like mine."
"Still sucked, and f'k that first doctor."
~ pheonixrising23
"Doctor said that either I cheated or my husband did because that kind of cervical pain was always chlamydia."
"It was an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and resulted in emergency life-saving surgery. But thanks for listening doctor!"
"My personal OB happened to be at the hospital that night and came to tell me the news herself, giving him the angriest look I’ve ever seen in a professional setting."
~ grannywanda9
"I’d been sent by ambulance from our local urgent care to a hospital due to kidney pain and a funny shadow on my xray. Emergency room doctor was insistent 'it must be a STI' despite me having no genital symptoms, and he demanded to do a pelvic exam."
"This doctor aggressively tried to mimic my pain from the inside by jamming his hand up my vag. The nurse chaperone looked embarrassed when I said to the doctor, 'if you’re not careful, you’ll lose your watch up there'."
"He then discharged me from the hospital at 3 am saying he couldn’t find anything wrong with me."
"At 9 am the original urgent care doc called back since she saw I was discharged but my blood tests were back and I was septic."
~ Omissionsoftheomen
Digestive Health
"My older sister had unbearable GI issues for years growing up."
"Pediatrician told our parents that 'children get tummy aches' and to try peppermint Altoids.
"She ended up having emergency surgery where they had to remove her entire large intestine because it was necrotic and had tumors.
"Permanent colostomy by the time she was 14."
~ Currentlyunsureatm
"Both my parents are doctors, a Pediatrician and a Pulmonologist/ICU doc."
"Since 4TH GRADE I’d had very frequent upset stomachs and pain. I was always told 'it can just happen' or 'it’s too hard to figure out'."
"It got to the point where when I had BLEEDING from my intestines I didn’t want to say anything cause I thought I’d be brushed off. This was until I was going into my senior year of high school."
"It flared to the point I couldn’t move and lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks."
"Lo and behold, I had Ulcerative Colitis that was diagnosed within a day of tests it was so bad."
~ GamingBeluga
"I had been bleeding for 8 months when my GP told me I 'didn't meet the criteria' for a colonoscopy."
"Finally did get diagnosed with mild ulcerative colitis later on, but that conversation with the GP was the most frustrating part of the whole saga."
~ calvesofdespair
"'It can't be colon cancer because you're too young'."
"My brother got cancer at that exact age, as she knew."
~ Liraeyn
"The really f'ked up thing about this one is that it's standard procedure to monitor for colon cancer based on family history."
"Generally guidelines recommend if a first degree family member (mom, dad, brother, sister) had colon cancer before they were elderly, they should start getting screened at an age 10 years younger than when they were diagnosed."
"So that doctor straight up ignored national treatment guidelines."
~ thatrandomdude12
"My younger sister was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer at 26 (not a typo, that's twenty six.) And it took her a couple of years to convince her doc to order any tests, despite passing blood in her stool."
"I get that she was especially young to have such an advanced case, but I will never not be angry when I read a comment about docs telling folks that they are too young to be checked for colon cancer."
~ Coldricepudding
Children's Health
"I took my then 4-year-old daughter to a pediatric gastroenterologist. First he said 'she's just being dramatic'."
"Then he said, 'well, she'll get married some day and be someone else's problem'."
"That was 25 years ago, and it still shocks me!"
"Turned out she had a partial bowel obstruction."
~ kellygrrrl328
"When I took my then 4-year-old to a pediatric gastroenterologist because she still couldn't control her bowels and clearly had no feeling down there, the specialist told me she was doing it for attention and just didn't 'want to' use the toilet."
"She went on and on about how she'd been in the business for 20 years. When my daughter told her she really wanted to fix the problem so she could go to day camp, the doctor told her she was lying."
"That human turd was in the room when I finally got my daughter tested for bowel insensitivity (I don't remember the official name) and they found out that she did not, in fact, have any feeling in her bowels."
"I looked that b*tch in the face and said, 'Now do you believe us?' She just looked away."
~ paingry
Mental Health
"'You're 27. I don't know what you have to be anxious about'."
"This was in the 1990s."
~ PrincessSummerTop
"When I described my anxiety and depression the doctor said, 'but you aren’t overweight and over thirty!'."
~ seventh-street
"I was told the same just a few months ago at age 25."
"I replied 'well my mom just died' to which he said 'that’s too bad' and continued on with the exam."
~ Familiar_Honey_98
"'That's normal in your line of work. Just ignore it, the pain will go away'."
"I went in for shoulder pain, as my left shoulder would be killing me after a day loading trucks all day. This was an ongoing thing for weeks before I went to get it checked."
"Didn't examine my shoulder. Didn't have any x-rays done, catscans done, MRIs done, nothing. Hell, didn't even have me take my shirt off."
"Turns out that I had a torn rotator cuff."
"Had another doc tell me that the stomach pain that had me pissing myself, throwing up, and passing out was from 'gas'."
"Again, without any type of examination, just listening to the symptoms. Two days later I was dying on the OR table from a necrotic appendix."
~ Redditor
A common theme in all these stories are doctors not listening to their patients or their parents.
While a doctor may be a medical expert, they should remember the patient is the expert for their own body.
When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.
Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.
However, this is not always true.
Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:
"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"
Bad Breath
""First of all, brush your teeth...""
– iSniffMyPooper
"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."
– ClumsyGhostObserver
"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."
– Floptopus
"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"
– Average_Aloe
"About the same in his case, really."
– Floptopus
Yikes! That Face!
""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""
"– Groucho Marx"
– chumloadio
""You have the face for a career in radio.""
– badmother
""...and a voice for print.""
– Byanl
If Only We Never Met
"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."
– Swivel_D
"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""
– Non_Music_Prodigy
Crime Against Humanity
"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"
– pantsoncrooked
"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."
– RBpositive
Winston Churchill
"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"
"-Winston Churchill"
– Triton289
"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"
– hdroadking
"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"
"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"
"May be slightly different wording."
– No-comment-at-all
"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."
– Rare_Parsnip905
Wrong!
""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""
– shaidyn
""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""
– a_in_hd
Tough Love
"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"
– OhSassafrass
"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."
– InverstNoob
What I Like About You
"“Do you know what I like about you?”"
"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"
– Axeman517
"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."
– TruCelt
"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."
– Ketcunt
""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""
– OnionMiasma
Rumor Has It
""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""
"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."
– NinjatheClick
Intelligence Called Out
"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."
– rrashad21
"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."
– MembraneintheInzane
Oooh!
"You are impossible to underestimate."
"You never fail to meet my expectations."
– Zyhre
Hilarious
"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."
– Edward_the_Dog
"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."
– -Envixity
I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!
People Share The Dumbest Reason They Ever Got Fired From Their Job
Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash
I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.
Eventually they were found.
On the floor.
Under their desk.
Sleeping.
They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.
While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.
Reddit user strykazoid asked:
"What's the dumbest reason a job ever fired you?"
Heartless
"I was 17. My Grandpa died unexpectedly from a heart attack. My Mother called my work’s office to let me know."
"I was called to the office to talk on the office phone to my mother, and staff (who were told what was going on) left the area so my mother could privately break the news to me."
"I was obliterated of course, and walked outside for about 15 minutes to clear my head. I then went back to work."
"The woman who was in charge of the entire operation fired me for leaving the building."
"Human Resources stepped in and stopped the situation before I could be notified that I had been fired."
"I only found out that this had happened after my grandpa's funeral days later."
"I quit immediately."
~ moochir
Weekly Occurrence
"I had an alcoholic handy man who was promoted to manager. This was a family owned restaurant and this guy had known the father of the current generation."
"He 'fired' me several times a week for not bumming him a cigarette or not wanting to work the second dining room when we had 5 reservations or taking my approved unpaid time off."
"But he was a drunk who started with scotch and moved into amaretto so never remembered."
"I'd just come back the next day."
~ Shababajoe
Going Surfing
"For surfing the internet."
"Punchline: part of my job was to surf the internet and find content for their social media platforms."
"I wish I was making that up. I am not."
~ Sea-Woodpecker-610
Throwing Their Voice
"Fast food manager said a customer complained that he could hear me cussin' in the back."
"It was a couple days later when they fired me, but they said the incident happened on a day I happened to be off."
"I had a feeling the manager didn't like me much and planned poorly on when they'd claim the so called 'incident' happened."
~ Cool1Mach
"'I heard you cussin' when you weren't here. Don't ask me how that's possible'."
~ probablythrowaway71
Not an Escort Service
"I was 16 and refused to date the owner’s niece."
~ VosTutZich
"Do people think other people are property???"
~ Crackheadwithabrain
"Yes. Many, many people who own or manage businesses think exactly this."
~ G0-N0G0-GO
Last In, First Out
"In the days after 9/11 my employer (multinational bank) instantly fired the last 2 people hired in every department where there was redundancy, hedging against a financial collapse whenever the markets reopened."
"I just happened to be the last guy hired in my department."
~ ClmrThnUR
Poor Pandemic Planning
"Covid-19 forced everyone to work from home on hastily setup computers and infrastructure."
"Then they fired the IT staff because we were deemed ‘nonessential’."
"Bit them in the a** hard enough to remove chunks."
~ wkarraker
Not a "Team Player"
"Not 'fired' but let go with severance. CFO told me to make up historical reports because they weren't done in the past, but now required, and wanted to show how so much better metrics are now than in the past."
"What they were asking for was literally not possible to do since the data was not tracked to what they were asking and wanted to tweak the past numbers into a full-on made-up breakdown."
"I told the controller I wasn't comfortable doing this. The next week I got paid out."
"A month later I found out the CFO was canned."
~ Kir-ius
On Your Own Time
"Performance was bad. one of the reasons given was."
"'Reading newspapers in the lunch room'."
"Which was during my scheduled break."
~ tmacdevitt
Oops!
"I wrote a video game script for a small developer. They 'forgot' to tell me when they started voice work—part of my job required me to help with voice acting sessions."
"I finally was invited to a session with a big name actor, especially known in video games. The director asked me why I hadn’t been present for the past two weeks’ worth of recording."
"Apparently, telling the truth, that no one had told me recording had begun, was the wrong move."
"The developers fired me the next day despite my work already being done, which essentially meant I’d have no part in DLC or sequel(s)."
~ drewxdeficit
Should Have Dropped Out
"I worked at Walmart while I was in high school and one of the managers kept scheduling me to open or for me to be there at 2."
"I told them, many times, that I was in high school and those shifts wouldn't work."
"I guess they didn't get that memo; the store manager fired me for missing work and being late."
~ stackjr
What Do You Mean You Were Gone?
"Walmart fired me because they put out the schedule while I was on vacation and put me on the schedule during my approved days off."
"When I brought this up they just told me approved days off are just a suggestion but not guaranteed days off."
~ Tee_hops
Good Customer Service
"I gave highway directions to a customer."
"They fired me for talking to my friends at work."
"I was a barista."
~ Cobra-Serpentress
Bereavement?
"Took a day off for my Grandpa's funeral which was out of town."
"Fired me when I came back the next day."
~ bublesboo
"My wife was fired for not coming to work after she found her father’s 2-day-old corpse in his apartment."
"She had to talk me down from some violent intentions towards her former employer."
~ isinhower
Has an employer ever done you dirty for an absurd reason?
Sound off in the comments.
People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Ever Refused To Date Somebody
Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.
But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.
Redditor bigdawgcat asked:
"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"
Food Allergies
"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."
"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."
- Horknut1
"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."
- Fixes_Computers
"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."
- cottagecheeseobesity
The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness
"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."
"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."
"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."
"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."
"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."
"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."
"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."
- Much_Progress_4745
Conspiracy Theory Investment
"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."
"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"
"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."
"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."
- Low-Sky-4812
Eating Noises
"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."
- just-say-it-
"Soup should be seen and not heard."
- Playful-Profession-2
Same Names, Same Problems
"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."
- SylphofBlood
"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."
"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"
"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."
- vejbok
Love for Animals
"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."
- StephenHawkings_Legs
"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."
- e11spark
"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."
- A-Yandere-Succubus
Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements
"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."
"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"
- Potential-Plastic-66
Matching Clothes
"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.
Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."
"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."
- SunflowerSeed33
Different Interests
"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."
"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."
- No-Hat-689
"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."
- dumpster_cherries
"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."
- one-eye-fox
Social Media Schemes
If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."
- UrinePulp
Weakness?
"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"
"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."
- Street-Comb1000
"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."
- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan
Finals Week Troubles
"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."
"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."
"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Atlas88-
Deal-breaking Voices
"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."
"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."
- Pickleliver
Dental Preferences
"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."
"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."
"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"
"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."
- Foxy_locksy1704
Preferred Facial Features
"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."
"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."
- newadventures96
"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."
- burritoboles
When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.