People Who Married Their 'Better Than Nothing' Partner Describe How It's Going
I've always been told... NEVER SETTLE!
But settling can work out.
You never know.
So what really happened when people settled?
"People who married their 'better than nothing' option, how’s your marriage going?"
"My wife said 'so far so good' but it's only been 35 years so there is still time for change if needed."
Netman-black and white love GIFGiphy
"I feel like we may have both settled because we had a child together, but 22 years in and he’s a better partner than I could have ever dreamed."
"Definitely everything up to the ‘but’ with my wife, things have been good at best and poor recently. Living together before helped some, but damn I underestimated or was decidedly oblivious to the necessity of having a similar level of intelligence, even more so than common ground, for long-term happiness."
Give it a shot...
"A coworker got married to their 'better than nothing' six or seven years ago. It was one of those things where both people settled since they were getting older and I guess they figured they'd give it a shot. They went from single to married in eight months."
"Apparently as time went on it only got better for them."
"They both started actively trying to better themselves (seeing therapists, picking up healthy solo hobbies) and learned how to best communicate with each other over that time. They're both in their early 50s now and they act like a happy younger couple whenever we're at work events. It's kinda cool to see."
"Pretty mundane but I wanted to share one that I know that worked out."
"So my marriage is not 'better than nothing,' but I was also never obsessed with my wife the way I have been obsessed with a new person before. Part of the reason I was willing to marry her was because we communicated well, worked with each other to improve each other's lives, and we generally enjoy many of the same things while still retaining who we are individually. The biggest thing is that we both felt physically and emotionally safe with each other."
"I am now obsessed. I love my wife more than I have ever loved anyone."
knocking my socks off...
"I think the way you worded this implies that the relationship was shi**y to begin with. I married someone I considered kind of a settle at first. I hadn't had a relationship in over a year and met a girl at a bar and thought, 'she's pretty enough and I like being around her.'"In Love Hearts GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"The thing is, we grew together and I have a very successful and happy marriage despite her not initially knocking my socks off. I think I fit your comments intent but I'm not sure because at no point in our relationship was it so bad I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore."
"I guess what I'm saying is if my story matches your intent, then it can work out. If you meant marrying into a toxic relationship, I don't think you're going to get many success stories."
So the end can be different from the beginning. Good to know.
It was devastating...
"I think I am the better than nothing spouse. About a month ago I found out. It was devastating."Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy
"For 17 years she settled for me despite not truly loving me. Life was hard but we had each other or so I thought. The moment we talked about how bad things got she asked for a divorce and I lost my best friend and sole person who I felt I trusted enough to talk to. I move out tomorrow to rebuild my life."
The Turning Point
"I don't know if this is exactly what you're after, but my husband and I got together as single parents. When you do that, you're choosing as much for the kids as for you. You actually don't know what kind of couple you are on your own. And when the kids grew up, after over a decade together, we had to figure that out for the first time."
"It started out good for maybe the first 4-5 years, then went really rocky in the kid's teens. Turns out as they needed us less, we really didn't have enough common ground in a lot of ways - in particular, I had emotional and emotional-labour needs that weren't being met."
"We discussed divorce several times, but at our peak crisis point, decided to work on it because one of our kids had just had a bereavement (death of the other parent). And honestly, it still wasn't working that well and maybe still would have ended in divorce, but then I had a terrible work situation that lasted a year, and he really stepped up."
"That was the turning point. I was able to let go of my resentments about all the times I'd carried us, because at some point he'd done enough that I didn't feel baited-and-switched anymore. Then the kids grew up and we had to learn to be a couple on our own together."
"That took time, but we'd sort of grown and changed into a better match by then. We're really solid now, have been for probably the last five years or so. But it's been a team endeavour to get it that way and keep it there, it's not something that just happens."
Love & Loss
"Was married for 10yrs, got 2 kids out of it and some of the happiest years of my life. We both pretty much settled for each other. Eventually both concluded that we just weren't right for each other and cut it off but I don't have any regrets about it. Without her I definitely would have been one of the people out there that are forever alone. So I definitely would agree with the 'better to have loved and lost' saying."
Option in my 30's
"I married my 'better than nothing' option in my 30s. We both understood what we had waited for and committed ourselves fully to the marriage. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had married my 'preferred option' and I realize that the love I feel from the person I married is so much better than the 'preferred option' would have been."
"I never did convince the preferred option to date me, while the woman I'm married to now found me easy to love. In other words, my romantic self is an idiot and my better than nothing was actually better than everything."
"My parents got married because they were considered old in their church (they were 26 and 24…) and they both wanted kids. My mom told me that is was the practical thing to do, haha! Luckily they hit it off, and though it took a lot of time and work, they are annoyingly in love and have been married for 42 years next month."
Islanduniversein love kiss GIFGiphy
So good enough can turn into the perfect choice.
Good to know...
Love itself and the search for it can be a total mess.
But no matter how much we thirst for it, we have to be diligent and look out for warning signs that a potential partner isn't a good fit.
Red flags and warning signs are always jumping out in front of us.
Follow your instincts and trust your guy.
If you think there's something off, they probably could be!
Redditor Artistic_Pop_3323 asked:
"On the first date, what were some immediate red flags that made you not go on a second date?"
On a first date years ago the man I met was easily twenty years older.
Found out he used his son's photo. Whacko.
"Dude spent the whole date talking about how he used to sell drugs."
"I had a first date like this, too! Guy admitted when we first met years before, he was selling drugs and was also still in a relationship with a girl while trying to go out with me."
"On our first date, he told me he was in med school, at the University in the town we lived in. I knew immediately there was no med school, but thought perhaps he was taken his pre-med classes or something, so went on a second date. He had spent an hour telling me how when he got done with his military service he had worked as a military contractor doing 'spy' work in Iraq and 'if I only knew the things he’d done!'"
"We stopped by his apartment to pick something up and while there I noticed all his mail was in a different name than he had given me. I 'magically' got a text from my work, told him I had an emergency and had to go immediately into work and handle it."
"After I told him there wouldn’t be a 3rd date, he got spooky angry and I caught him in the bushes outside my apartment, late at night, several times. I eventually had to get a restraining order - in the name he gave me. After that, I never saw him again! Thank God!"
worst date ever...
"She was still married and said she just wanted to know if she’d 'be able to still get dates if they split up'… worst date ever."
"Was hit on by a married woman, not my wife though. We talked for about an hour because I wanted to see what her game was. After telling her that I was married, she got really angry at me. I thought, WTF? Is there some kind of weird double standard going on here? She got really pissed off when I asked her why it was OK that she was married but not OK if I am married."
Need to make an order...
"Few years ago met up with a guy at a bar and like the entire time he would not stop talking about how he couldn’t wait to go to Russia and get a mail-order-bride."
"Maybe he was trying to make you jealous. Like, 'Oh no, I might lose out on this prime life partner opportunity, better make my move posthaste!'"
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"He was about 10 years older than his pictures, he didn't stop twitching the entire time, and he kept pressuring me to go back to his place. I noped the f**k outta there."
Umm... maybe get through the first course before offering your place?
By the KnifeMad Addams Family GIFGiphy
"She pulled out a switchblade mid conversation to slice up a passing ant."
For My Own Good
"I was planning a first date with this guy years ago and he suggested bowling. I said it was fine, but I've done it once a few years prior and I was legitimately terrible at it. The group I was with at the time made it fun regardless of me being totally uncoordinated."
"He offered to teach me, but I said another time- I just wanted to get to know him in a relaxed environment. He suggested we still bowl, minus the lessons and he could also share in the hilarity of my lack of skill. I was down. The night came and the lessons started almost immediately."
"How to stand, where to stand, everything I'm doing wrong, I'm not taking it seriously, he's trying to teach me 'For my own good.' He became mean. Not one smile except when he saw me at the start. I told him this was not the fun/chill night I said I was looking for and he told me it would be if I took the game more seriously. He was actually angry about the whole night."
"He tried to change my order with the waitress because I didn’t order what he’d recommended."
"Oh my God, I came here to say this exact same thing! He suggested something, but I wasn't feeling it. I ordered, and he grabbed the waitress as she tried to walk away, and said 'No, she'll have [xyz] instead, thanks.' And let her go, and that was that. It didn't even occur to him that she wouldn't listen or that I'd be pissed. Walked right out of the restaurant."
"I once went on a first date with a guy who was clearly not over his ex. He spent the entire time talking about her, comparing me to her, and even showing me pictures of them together. It was a huge red flag for me and made it clear that he wasn't ready for a new relationship. Needless to say, I didn't go on a second date with him."
Slugwrestlemania 22 eating worms GIF by WWEGiphy
"He told me he had worms. Not in a casting, fishing, or terrarium kind of way. Full on internal parasites."
"Hahaha, I once had a date graphically describe the time he had to remove a tapeworm from his own butt.. while I was trying to eat spaghetti at an expensive Italian restaurant."
Oof... this is why I'll never date again. #Singleforlife
Do you have any other singles stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Even the most passionate couples can hit a snag in their relationship when it comes to bedroom activities.
Sometimes it's just bad timing. A person in the coupling could have had an exhausting day at work or they may not be in "the mood" for some action. It could be nothing.
But when couples are perpetually experiencing this slump, it could be an indication of a deeper problem.
So how do those with opposing sex drives deal with the situation?
Redditor red_darrow99 sought answers from strangers online and asked:
"People with sex drives way higher than their partners…How do you handle it?"
Like with many issues in a relationship, it all starts with being communicative to resolve them.
"I have a relatively high sex drive, but my new partner has a lot more than I do, so for the first time I've had to say sorry, not feeling it, I felt like I failed her."
"But I communicated it to her and she understood and I think that's as healthy as it gets."
Identifying The Conflict
"We talk about it and don’t play games about it. Neither one of us are embarrassed. I (f) have the higher drive than he does and he is very physically affectionate and lovey but there’s no mixed signals. I admit when we were first together, rejection didn’t feel great but I find that really talking with him openly and looking at this from an 'us vs the problem' instead of a 'me vs him' problem is something we are strong with."
":It’s easy to feel like it’s you versus your partner, especially with a bit of a bruised ego (which is fair to have). I learned to enjoy the cuddling and touching and kissing but really pay attention to the signs he gives. There are some things he will only do if he seems like there could be a chance for him to get into the mood."
"Absolutely this. It's all about transparency, but I think you need to have this level of transparency very early on in the relationship, otherwise these kind of future problems can be very difficult to navigate. Talk to your partner. Be open and honest early on in any relationship."
Some Redditors found a solution.
Relieving The Tension
"I’ve read that some people use sex to ease tensions in their life (me). Other people need to have tensions eased BEFORE having sex (my wife). So what I have been doing is easing those tensions for my wife before initiating such as cleaning, laundry, dishes, bills, etc. It eases her mind and makes it easier for her to get in the mood. Also, its good for our relationship anyway. That’s my advice. No guarantee that it will work, but it helps in my case!"
There's Always The Consolation Prize
"You take matters into your own hands."
"If she likes to read tell her to start reading smutty novels. Holy f'king sh*t."
"My wife and I have been together 20+ years. Super high sex drives for first 15 years for both of us, basically until kids."
"Then her drive just dipped pretty low. Then she started reading these books and sometimes I can't even keep up."
"I read one of them and it's ridiculous. I don't get it, story sucked, writing sucked, but it definitely put me in the mood. And her too."
"She doesn't like to watch porn and life as a mom / worker / wife is just stressful. Reading is relaxing. Reading puts her in the mood while relaxing. Win win."
Understanding His Perspective
"I never try to force my boyfriend or beg him to have sex. We just chill, and he initiates if he is actually in the mood cause lord knows I am always ready LOL. Otherwise, I take care of myself."
"It definitely hasn't been easy. I am like a once everyday kind of person minimum. My boyfriend is a once every couple of months, maybe. If he's really stressed out at work it can be a while. I felt very rejected at first and unattractive. But I had to understand it from his perspective. To him, it's not important and when you're stressed unimportant things go on the back burner. For me, it's a stress reliever so the more stressed I am the more I want it. Just like when someone people are depressed they eat, but when other people are depressed they'll starve themselves. Everyone is different."
People continued sharing their experiences.
Check The Testosterone Level
"My wife has had the same issue. She wants to be more intimate, but it doesn’t come naturally, and I’m very sensitive to her feelings. One thing to check is her testosterone level. Women actually need a healthy testosterone level for procreation, and it can be suppressed by a number of reasons. For us, it was breastfeeding."
It's Not Personal...Sometimes
"It's frustrating and disheartening. I have to work really hard not to take it personally or as a sign that he's not attracted to me. I don't initiate at all anymore because the rejection really hurts."
"The beginning of our relationship was filled daily with it. 7 years later and we go 10+months between each time. I'm not handling it I'm slowly breaking.."
Marriage Might Not Be The Right Answer
"I have a high sex drive, I am very affectionate, and I create opportunities for intimacy. My fiancé is now the exact opposite, coming up on a year of communicating my needs and feelings with no feedback other than 'just not interested or not feeling it' then she goes back to her phone (little world). It’s clearly depression. A year of pecks on the cheek for kisses, and that’s it."
"I’ve asked, pleaded, and begged for her to call a Dr. To seek some help. But it’s just been excuse after excuse."
"I do love her. I wouldn’t have asked her to marry me. I can’t force her to seek help when she doesn’t feel there’s an issue."
"I can feel resentment growing as I debate whether I’d be happier just with a dog in my life. At least then I’d have another being wanting to go for a walk with me and spend time with me."
Ignoring the problem won't make it go away.
Have those hard conversations and find solutions or make compromises together.
That's if the relationship is important to you.
While many classified documents of disturbing cases are now accessible to the public, there are some things that have happened throughout history that are better left unknown.
Still, there will always be curious minds wanting to know the details of some of the most disturbing cases that were once strictly confidential information.
Curious to hear what some of these unsettling things are, Redditor Imakillaholic opened Pandora's Box by asking:
"What are some of the creepiest declassified documents made available to the public?"
To say these are disturbing is an understatement.
Sweden's Sterilization Program
"Sweden had a compulsory sterilization program running from 1935-1979. It was state-sanctioned and given without consent, sometimes without the people knowing they were being sterilized."
"The three main reasons for these sterilizations were:"
"Health concerns for the mother."
"Eugenic (not wanting to pass on mental illnesses or any form of handicap)."
"Social (antisocial people, criminals, drunks etc.). In other words anyone who didn’t conform properly and was considered unfit to raise children.
Graphic Method Descriptions
"Methods of reported torture that author Douglas Valentine wrote were used at the interrogation centers."
The Coup In Guatemala
"Not exactly creepy, but Operation PBSUCCESS , the CIA backed Coup in Guatemala at the behest of the United Fruit Company and US State Department. The official CIA history of the operation is truly one of the most f'ked up things I’ve ever read. It was also the blue print for the Bay of Pigs and other CIA interventions around the world."
It's crazy to think we are run by governments that are capable of coming up with and concealing the following. Trust no one.
We're Not Alone
"Not really creepy but more weird:"
"The Pentagon commissioned an initiative called the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program and they recently just released footage of US military aircraft approaching these 'advanced aerospace threats.'"
"I mean what the hell are these guys doing."
New Kind Of Weapon
"The CIA was working on a heart attack gun back in the 1960-70's. It started off as a conspiracy theory but gained enough momentum nationwide that it forced the US Government's's hand and they finally admitted the theory was "mostly accurate".
"Short version, they never had a fully functional heart attack gun, but they did have a 'nearly working prototype.' The idea was that it would have a very small projectile that would be laced with a chemical that would induce a heart attack and leave a hole smaller than one left behind by a syringe. While they never had a fully working version, they did have a prototype but abandoned the project once they more or less had to admit the conspiracy was mostly true."
"I remember a US government funded project that involved teaching Dolphins how to talk."
Prepared For The Worst
"How about Nixon’s undelivered speech announcing that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were stranded alive on the moon with no hope of rescue:"
More was revealed about serial killers.
Toybox Killer Transcript
"Dude and his wife kidnapped young girls for his dungeon and played this tape for them when they woke up, detailing what he was going to do to them, including torture and how he doesn't get caught by brainwashing them to forget."
"Jeffrey Dahmer's full confession - a couple of hundred pages of pure madness. Dahmer became pretty close to his interrogating detectives (Dennis Murphy and Patrick Kennedy), and provided a lot of detail to them. A lot of it in a pretty candid, off-hand manner. It's incredibly hard to find Dahmer's confession online without it being behind a paywall, but it is in the public domain, so I've provided link to the pdf downloads. The first 63 pages are mainly forms and letters, the real meat of the confession starts afterwards."
To Catch A Killer
"Dahmer was caught just after I had read Silence of the Lambs. A central plot point of the book is that they catch the serial killer by profiling him; one of their tenets (proved correct in the book) is that the guy must have his own relatively isolated house to himself or he couldn't get away with what he was doing. Then Dahmer is busted after years of living in an apartment building where everybody complained about the smell of rotting meat. And where the police actually brought his victims back to him."
The Jonestown Death Tape
"That sh*t proves to be a solid way to lose all chances of sleep."
"So, here’s some context. Jim Jones started a cult called the Peoples Temple (yes, without the apostrophe) and eventually they moved to a new settlement they built in Guyana called Jonestown, named after their leader. Since he made them believe he was some form of the messiah (as a lot of cult leaders did), he could control them all to do whatever he pleases, and one of the things they did was practice drinking Flavor-Aid - not Kool-Aid as commonly believed - to prepare themselves for the time when they commit 'revolutionary suicide'. These practices were just normal Flavor-Aid / Kool-Aid, but Jones told them it was poisoned just to see their reactions."
"When the time came, someone recorded what was, essentially, the sounds of people drinking Flavor-Aid laced with cyanide, alongside a fatal cocktail of other substances, many victims including young children (which you could hear screaming in te audio). 900 or so people died, only a few didn’t. This was the biggest loss of American life in a deliberate act until 9/11, and there is an audio recording of it. And just a VERY strong reminder: This wasn’t mass suicide, this was mass murder. Many people were willing to die at his hands, but all the children and some of the adults didn’t. Since all of them were forced to take the drink, it wasn’t their own choice to drink it, it was Jones’s. So, whilst people believe that it was a suicide, they were all duped into being murdered by Jim Jones."
Do you think some of the most captivating crime dramas on TV are original stories?
Think again. Many of the cases you see dramatized are inspired by actual events, a preface often shown at the start of a program.
People are capable of some of the most twisted forms of violence. We see it everyday in real life.
So much for escaping from reality.
While there might be some financially savvy unicorns among us who just seemed to "get it" since birth, most of us have had some mishaps with our wallets.
And in some cases, those financial lessons have been pretty expensive.
Redditor The_guy321 asked:
"What is the biggest money mistake you have ever made?"
A Big Life Change
"I took a job way up North in Canada. I quit my old job, got rid of tons of stuff, had my dad help sell my house, etc. This was in 2019/early 2020 just before the pandemic hit big."
"I ended up hating the job up North; it was terrible. I went back home and somehow managed to get my old job back, but my house is gone, and I can’t afford a new one in the current market."
"Stupid, idiotic decision on my part, and it keeps me up at night. I hate where I am in life right now. A stupid, big, and expensive mistake that I’ll regret for the rest of my life."
Sentimental Value and More
"My mom gave her original, 20+-year-old wedding ring to a jeweler to work it over and improve fitment (since it was too tight I think)."
"The jeweler f**king lost the ring in the mail. They sent it out without insurance and it never arrived at the place that was supposed to do the jeweler's work."
"She did not get her original wedding ring back, and all they offered her was 'a new one of equal worth.'"
"Honestly, that was the biggest f**k you to her. The best you can get in that situation is at least a ring visually similar to the original one, or one made to be identical to the original."
"Don't tell me 'copying an existing ring' is not possible, because the ring itself was very simple. Basically only metal, no diamonds or any other fancy rock, just metal with a groove in it and smooth edges."
"But no, their only offer to 'make up for it' was to choose a cheap looking one from their stock, basically saying 'we f**ked up but we won't put in any work to replace your ring; this is what we already have.'"
"Let alone the fact that the ring was 20+ years old and had a lot of sentimental value, because unlike my dad, my mom wore that ring all the time."
Student Loan Arrangements
"Spending all my student loan refund checks instead of saving those f**kers to, oh, I don't know, PAY OFF MY STUDENT LOANS."
Extra Funds Available
"Accepting larger loan amounts than I needed."
"Tuition, for me, was about $1200 a semester. But when you’re 18 and someone offers you $5,000 (which is more than you’ve ever had) and you don’t have to pay it back for years, you don’t hesitate to click accept the full amount."
"So yeah, I’m $20,000 in student loan debt when it could have been $10,000. Praying that student loan relief actually goes through but doubt it."
Attending College At All
"Going to college right out of high school. College is great if you know why you're there, but not for someone who isn't yet sure."
No Return on Investment
"I can't speak for everyone but when I was fixing to graduate high school back in 2000-2001, everyone thought college was the next step because literally no one ever told us anything different. Parents, teachers, school guidance counselors, and the culture. EVERYTHING was about pushing kids into the college pipeline."
"I literally thought everyone working trades were living in poverty until I was in like my mid-twenties because no one ever brought it up unless it was to disparage the whole idea of working for a living."
"Not my mistake, but my dad's. He bought like $500 worth of collectible Star Trek dinner plates in the 80s thinking they'd be worth a ton of money in a few years. They're not."
"I was at $1800 per month for alimony and child support for six years, but it was more losing half of the assets (including retirement savings) that was the killer."
"Oh well. It's in the past now and I'm in a much better place and happy rather than resigned to being miserable like I was for quite a few years until I decided to go through with it. I'm just going to have a late retirement (most likely) instead of early like I had hoped."
"As f**ked as it is, the financial expense is what got me to quit nicotine. I realized that I was spending $150 a month on disposable vapes and started comparing it to my other bills."
"I was paying more for my unhealthy addiction than my car insurance, or my utilities. Kinda hard to justify when you look at it like that."
Beyond Her Means
"My ex-wife was an expert at spending us into a black hole. She was a widow. We got engaged. The very next day, I told her to bring me all her debts, and then I wrote checks to pay them all off. $14,000."
"That became the pattern. She never saw a dollar she couldn’t spend before we earned it. She looked at things by what they cost each month and not by what they actually cost."
Someone Else's Debt
"I agreed to take over my ex-girlfriend's bills so that she could pay off her debts. Five years and over $100,000 of my money later, she was in more debt than when we started, and she was cheating on me."
"Don't ever do this. Just make her be an adult or dump her. It's never worth it."
Just One More Semester
"I paid for my ex-girlfriend's college tuition for three semesters as she 'just one semester left'-ed me for all three."
"That was AFTER she got a letter stating she was no longer eligible for the Pell Grant or further loans. So, the banks said, 'No more,' but I paid for another year and a half, while also paying all the household bills and supporting her kid."
"We broke up, and she had the nerve to talk about what I supposedly OWE her."
Scammed by the Pound
"One of those Bootcamp-style gyms opened up within walking distance from our apartment. We wanted to get in shape and figured we'd check it out. It was run by a married couple who was really nice."
"Initial classes were very small but the exercise was great. The husband also did martial arts instruction so I was considering getting into that."
"They were doing a really reduced special to get a year membership so I went for it and paid half upfront. A few weeks later, I can't remember the conversation, but they asked for the remaining payment, and I said, 'Sure, why not?'"
"A little bit after that, they called and said, 'Sorry, but we opened the gym with a verbal agreement we would be getting a large number of karate students and that fell through, so we have to shut down. We will get your money back once we get settled after we move back home.'"
"I foolishly had paid for all this but never had even gotten a written contract or whatever. They just ended up ghosting me and stopped replying to everything."
Buying the Wrong Home
"I bought a mobile home as a starter home. No one ever explained to me as a young adult the importance of investment and future planning."
"Mobile homes of course do not hold nor increase in value so you never build equity. It's akin to renting except you have to cover all your own repair costs too."
"Terrible financial decision. Don't buy mobile homes kids. Just don't do it."
Helping a Friend Out
"I let her move in with me and then covered all of her living expenses so she could pay off debt. It only cost me a little more money since I was already covering 100% of my living expenses. Some of my bills like water went up a little and I voluntarily covered most groceries."
"I told her upfront that there are no hard feelings if it doesn't work out in the long run (and it didn't). I would have done the same thing for any close friend."
"I suggested her first step should be to save an emergency fund to protect herself if we break up because I would expect her to get the f**k out. And if she cheats on me, her stuff will be on the curb the same day."
"I'm a practical person. We had been discussing moving into together anyway. This way we see how things work out and she ends up with less debt. But I didn't put any money directly towards her debt. That would have felt like I was being taken advantage of."
"This wasn't completely selfless on my part. It seemed like we may have been headed for marriage and in that case, I would want that debt gone. It didn't happen for us but I'm still glad she got a little further ahead in life."
While some might argue that each of these were learning experiences that were worth experiencing, there's no denying that they were expensive lessons.