Things that go bump in the night are a problem. And things that go bump in the day are even worse. No matter how old I get, noises in the dark, or light, still give me pause. I sleep with a stun gun just in case. I also like to keep sage and a rosary near by at all times. You never know if the noise is a person or a spirit. You have to be ready to take them all out.
Redditor u/pigthepuggle wanted everyone to discuss the times when things went bump in the night and left people shaken so they asked... What is the scariest noise that you've heard, so scary that your body had a physical response and what made it?Who hasn't been woken from a sound sleep by a glass breaking? Or who hasn't been rattled to the core by a car engine exploding in the tranquil middle of the day? We all have been victim to forms of sound terrorism. One of the worst for me is sudden tsunamis of thunder. That makes me jump sky high. Let's see who can relate.
STRIKE!
Sci Fi Lol GIF by Hallmark eCards
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Lightning striking a nearby gas tank (as in about 100 meters away at max) and the thunder that followed right after the explosion of the tank. Nearly sh*t myself that night. I could've been dead.
Water Issues
When I was younger, I was home alone and I thought I heard foot steps in my house. I started to freak out and I could barely get up off my bed to go to my bedroom door. I started to ask if anyone was there but I didn't get a response but I couldn't hear the foot steps anymore. I closed the door and locked it to prevent anyone from getting inside. Then, I realized it was just our water boiler making weird sounds and I was just being a dunce. :/.
Compressions
I was at my desk, working. Suddenly this absolutely piercing scream erupted. This sound was so loud that it hurt my ears even when I cupped my hands over them and pressed as hard as I could. Several of us exited the office and ran down the stairs, but that's where the sound was coming from.
Turns out, one of the pipes exploded off TWO 2000-gallon air accumulation tanks pressurized to 200psi by an industrial screw compressor. This thing made a train whistle sound like a whisper. I physically couldn't get close enough to turn the ball valve- it hurt too much. One of my coworkers was practically deaf, so he just walked up without a care in the world and shut it off.
Love is Angry
As a young and impressionable teen, I heard this horrible noise outside that sounded like an animal dying. Looked out my window. Nope. Not dying. Just the neighbor's cat having a cat orgy.
I thought they were killing each other first. Something I never want to witness again.
Cat Drama
I live alone now and heard footsteps on the stairs. I looked up, expecting to see a burglar, but I saw nothing as the noise continued. Closer to the bottom and... it's my 9 pound cat who absolutely STOMPS down the stairs. She's tiny but seems to have her own gravitational field that makes her ten times as heavy when she wakes up from her nap on my bed. She has faked out multiple people since her footsteps sound human. It's creepy.
Yeah, animals are the worst when it comes to shattering the peaceful silences. They just stir a ruckus without a care in the world. Also, any of these situations would send me for a Xanax.
"whooooooosh"
I was sitting in the office and heard a low "whooooooosh" sound coming from the living room. My cat came tearing out of the living room like something had really spooked her. I ran into the living room and my couch was in flames! Our laptop was charging and the battery exploded and ignited the underside of the couch.
The noise I heard was the fabric on the bottom burning instantly (it was a thin material). What's crazy is I didn't know what that noise was, I just knew something really bad and dangerous was going on and my immediate gut reaction was to leave the apartment.
FEAR
I was VERY close to a lightning strike one time while watching a thunderstorm outside a friend'd beach house. When it's that close it's not at all like the lighting sound you know, its like the loudest CRACK noise you've ever heard with snapping noises and even the smell of an electrical fire. We immediately all started screaming like a band of monkeys and ran inside.
To this day I can remember there was such an intense feeling all the way in my gut, inside of my primordial soul that said GET THE FREAK AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN OR YOU WILL DIE. In that moment there was NOTHING that could have kept my lizard level brain function outside with that lightning. Some real caveman primal fear crap I'd never felt before and haven't felt since.
Dinner
dog human eating GIF
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Wild dogs tearing apart our food provisions while camping lakeside in Mexico. The growls were deep and methodical. They were keeping us scared while also establishing dominance amongst each other. Freaking terrifying.
When in Cyprus...
Air raid sirens at 5 am, and I thought war had broken out.
I had just arrived in Cyprus, having landed at like midnight. I was staying with friends in their guest bedroom, and after close to 24 hours of travel I was dead to the world.
But then the air raid sirens started.
I hid under the bed, and it felt like it went on forever, but then I slowly realized no one else seemed to be reacting to the sirens. No one outside screaming, no jets actually flying overhead, nothing.
It turns out it was the annual commemoration of the Turkish invasion of Cyprus, and my friends forgot to tell me.
In the Night
fox foxes GIF by Sophie Corrigan
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Woke up to something that literally sounded like a woman/person screaming from pain or something. Turns out foxes make some freaky noises.
Well I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my nerves. What is it about sudden sounds of impending doom that sends us all a flutter? You'd think we'd all be use to violent cacophonies by now. I ponder that thought over some vodka later.
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Rule number one in life...
"You are entitled to nothing!"
Money does not make you better and this isn't your world that the rest of us are merely guests in. Just some mantras to begin with.
$$$
kim kardashian school GIFGiphy"Stopped giving money so they had to get a job to have the things they wanted. Helped a lot."
Breaking the Cycle
"Having been abused and neglected as a child, I vowed not to make the same mistake with my own kid. I made a bunch of different ones instead! I didn't discipline here enough, because the only kind of discipline I knew was physical abuse and I refused to do that. In trying to do better I went in the opposite direction, and by the time she was about four years old she was a spoiled, tyrannical brat."
"My husband had worked long hours and wasn't home a lot, and she usually behaved well for him so he was largely ignorant of what was going on. He eventually got permission to work from home a couple days a week and that's when he realized how bad things were. He gently took me aside and pointed out that a four year old should not be screaming at their parents after having been asked to perform a simple task."
"I got therapy to help work through my own issues, and together my husband and I came up with a strategy that allowed me to discipline our daughter without physical punishment. (It took a few tries before we found a strategy that worked.) Then covid happened and now my husband works from home four days a week, which has helped immensely. Our daughter is still spoiled, but her behavior has improved a lot over the last few years to the point that she's usually pleasant to be around, lol. She and I are both a work in progress, but so far the whole family is doing better."
Wonder Woman
"I started a relationship with a wonderful woman who puts everyone else first. She has a heart of gold and is the sweetest person I have met. However, this desire to make everyone happy is not how you parent children. She has a moderately autistic child who is 15 and another child who is 13. She created an environment where they rely on her for everything. The 13 yo can't even make himself toast."
"The 15 yo did whatever he wanted because she was more concerned about him being happy than being independent. So far, I've gotten the child with autism to wear underwear, stop peeing anywhere he wants, stop abusing his mom, to begin feeding himself finger foods, and in general, to listen if we ask him to do something. I need to work on the youngest one to start making himself food and to eat something other than just frozen chicken strips and french fries."
The Oldest
"My husband had this realization a couple of weeks ago about his oldest. He was shocked when we were at the store and I said no to our toddler, he said ok and didn't whine, I praised him for listening and at that moment my husband was like Holy crap, I think he's more confident and independent than his teen sister, I done effed up with her, haven't I? I just shrugged."
"I told him it's not too late, he just need to keep working on it and not feel guilty about the past. Most people didn't expect a 20 some year old guy to step up and take care of a kid by himself, now that he's older he knows better and going forward can work on building a more positive relationship with his oldest kid which I believe will be helpful to her and might even encourage the confidence and independence she'll need one day. But I'm no expert our kid is very young and most days behaves like all toddlers do 😅."
The Son
Fathers Day Dad GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy"I realised that, because my daughter was so difficult (I have since found out she has ADHD and Autism, like me her Mum), I was letting my Son away with so much more than I would her."
"It was my fiancé that pointed out to me that I was letting him walk all over me for an easy life so I could focus on my youngest and we have made huge changes in the way we discipline him and as a result he is back to the delightful young man he was in the earlier days. I owe a lot to my fiancé actually!"
Rule number 2...
Parents, don't be afraid to parent. Don't try to heal your wounds by allowing a new generation to just do whatever comes into their minds. Raise decent humans, not make-up versions of you.
Tapped Out
sad scream queens GIFGiphy"My daughter was throwing a fit that her bottle of water was not the brand she wanted so someone asked her why she didn't just drink tap water. Her response was, "what's tap water?" She's 10."
The Limit
"Would have to be when my daughter was 15. I set up credit card account for her, set the limit to $500 and told her the card was only for emergencies, such as if she was out somewhere and needed an Uber home. Got the bill the first month, the card had been run to it's limit, $125 at a beauty salon, $200 at various clothing stores and multiple fast food runs."
"So I sit her down and say "Didn't I tell you this card was for emergencies?" She looked me in the eye and calmly said, "Yes, and that's all I used it for." I reply, "And getting your hair done and a sale at Hot Topic are emergencies?!?" She replies, "Yes for someone my age, they are." Needless to say her credit card was quickly revoked."
- Dervrak
Oh Mama...
"Not one of those parents. But my mom never learned. She has spoiled my younger sister since she was a toddler. Sister is now in her mid 40's, and is still an entitled b*tch. To make things even better; my mother has been the child care provider (free childcare) for all three of my sister's kids from the time each was born. So now. Not only are my nieces and nephew being raised by a narcissistic mom. But by their grandmother, that made their mom that way in the first place."
"The last Christmas we went to their house, which was years ago now since it was THAT BAD. All three kids were in various stages of meltdowns because they didn't get what they wanted. And that was the year the kids got brand new iPhones. The oldest was 9. The middle was 7. And the youngest was 5. It's funny listening to our mom be confused about how they are all spoiled brats."
Potty
"I wouldn't say I spoiled her myself, I traveled a lot and just wasn't there for my daughter as much as I should've been. My ex wife, my mom, my MiL all spoiled the hell out of my daughter. I came to the realization after my divorce. I had my daughter for the weekend. She was 4.5 at this point. Not potty trained yet because god forbid she did something that was different."
"I remember sitting on the floor, trying to get her to use the potty and she's just yelling at me that she wants her diapers back. When she went back to her mother's house I get a phone call from my ex, yelling at me for trying to make her use the potty when she wasn't ready."
"My daughter was 4.5 years old! At that point I knew. Did some research, called a behavior specialist and started to get her on the right track. I love her and she's a pretty amazing child. She's still spoiled as hell. I can only do so much with the time I have with her."
Product Placement
"She bullied kids for not having Gucci, supreme, other designer brands, and the latest apple products."
See there, a whole lot of people need a good role model to set them straight. Again, I happily volunteer. I'm not saying parenting is easy, but a ton of you can certainly do better. For the world's sake.
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That's not to say the whole article is Testes Fest 2021 (please don't, you guys.) but I'm not in the business of lying. This article is not the one for younger readers or anyone who just isn't here for juggling any more balls than they had to.
I'm not sorry for that pun.
Reddit user "SecretariatGodHorse" asked:
"Women, what are some questions you've always wanted to ask men, but were too embarrassed?"
Pre"dick"tably, people started out with everything you never knew you needed to know about ... well ... you read my intro. You know what you're getting into.
Let's just go on ahead and get the probing penis questions out of the way now.
New Kinds Of Kisses
Lips Kiss GIFGiphy"When you use the toilet, does your weenie just hang into the toilet? Do you rest it on the seat? Do you ever get poop splash on your ween?" - misternuggies
"It hangs. Sometimes a splash hits the balls. Poseidon's kiss they call it." - SkeletalElite
"When your tip touches the toilet bowl/rim it's called The Witch's Kiss " - CaptainFeather
All About The Scrunch
Track And Field Dancing GIFGiphy"What happens to your balls when you run?"
"Are they just banging around? Do they stick between your thighs? Do they end up tucked? I've been dying to know, thanks." - Gettin-liiifted
"The nutsack isn't always floppy. It scrunches up or loosens. They don't flop when scrunched."
"Also Underwear keeps it in place." - LemonWaluigi
"Yeah, this is the answer. Your sack can contract so much, it presses your balls pretty far into your groin area."
"Then they don't dangle. They're just there." - Weikor
An Inconvenient Truth
Are You For Real No Way GIF by 1 Play SportsGiphy"Is it true you really get random boners?" - Kanyesb7889
"Yes. Distressingly often as a teen, but even later on it happens." - SoAngry75
"Constantly... I was told at some point that they would stop... I'm thirty f*cking seven and still waiting for that time I can stand up without having to shift things to hide it...." - kezow
"51 here. Hasn't stopped yet. I'm guessing they won't be able to close the coffin lid when I die at this rate." - gonesnake
Great, now that we've gotten all that out of our systems it's important to remember that men, like all humans, are so much more than their crotch-quirks.
Some may not always like to admit it, but there are hopes, fears, insecurities and genuine emotions happening over there. Of course there are!
Human - to - human, the questions turned into something more interesting. We got examinations of what patriarchy, socialization, and expectations look like in the real world.
In short - it got real.
Throwing Away Your Shot
Giphy"Is it true that guys generally hesitate or avoid going up to and talking women that are super attractive?"
"I mean like a 9 or a 10/10? Is attractiveness/appearance something that makes you stall when 'shooting your shot?' " - hoodfairyy
"Can't speak for all guys, but what I tell myself: 'Why the hell would someone like her be interested in someone like me?' " - LiquidGhost8892
"Absolutely. True story:"
"There was this really pretty girl in my friend group (all young 20-somethings) in San Diego. We'd hang out, go to parties, go to concerts, go to the beach, etc. I never even considered asking her out because she was waaaaay out of my league."
"One night she and I were the last of our group at the bar. She has no car so I offer her a ride home. She invites me in for a beer. Cool."
"We're watching late night tv and she leans her head on my shoulder. Eh, fine... we're buds, right?"
"Then her hand is on my thigh. Weird."
"I turn to look at her and she's looking in my eyes. I ask if she's okay and she says she'd be better if I kissed her. WTF?"
"She's like a 9 and I'm a 6 at best (maybe a Scranton 8). But, F*CK YEAH! We make out for a bit, but when I go to cop a feel she breaks it off and says, 'We've both had a lot to drink. Maybe you should sleep here tonight.' "
"I see I've blown it and say, 'Sure. Thanks.' "
"She heads to the bedroom and I kick off my shoes and stretch out on the couch. A couple of minutes go by and she comes back and says, 'Are you coming?' "
"WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK IS HAPPENING? But I smoothly go 'Um....yeah.' "
"That was Dec 12, 1981. We married April 3, 1982. Still going strong."
"If it wasn't for her, never would have happened." - CharDeeMacDennisII
For A Smile...
Flower Petals GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I'm with someone who buys me flowers to make me smile--what would be something I could do similarly for him that is nonsexual that would brighten his day?" - JustFineAnd
"Be the big spoon. Scalp massage. Back rub, not necessarily a massage, either."
"Next time y'all are watching TV in bed or on the couch. Let him lay his head on your chest or lap, and run your fingers through his hair, or just pet his back like a dog. Even better if he's shirtless and you can lightly scratch his back."
"May not seem like much, but it makes a big impact on us, even if we may not immediately show it. For me, it slows my mind. Helps me stop thinking for a while and process the here and now so much better." - Infectious_Cockroach
"Compliment him. He may not show it on the outside, but he's giggling and blushing on the inside." - wamj
Clingy
Season 5 Hug GIF by The OfficeGiphy"How often do men want to be hugged? Does it feels clingy, if a girl offers it every now and then ?" - SpillBeanss
"Cling to me and just never let go. I wouldn't mind. Hugs are great!" - SlamUnited
"I don't know how many guys I speak for but for me being hugged by a girl you're dating or are close with is like getting permission to relax and be happy." - Crionso
"2 situations when someone being clingy has been an issue: when I was going to work and was already late from my schedule and when trying to do a #2."
"Any other time than those, if you're the one I love you could glue or tape yourself to me and I'd be happy." - Betanyymi
What About Your Friends?
Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy"Do you ever worry about what your friends think of the attractiveness of your girlfriend/wife? Like are you ever worried that people you know don't find her good-looking or judge you for being with her?"
"(This question is obviously coming straight from my insecurities lol.)" - MommaJ94
"I actually did have this fear with my last girlfriend. She was a bigger girl and I wasn't really concerned about what they thought, but just didn't want anyone being judgmental toward her."
"It's hard to explain, I wasn't ashamed of her or anything, just hate the thought of people judging her by her appearance." - saddestclaps
"I have never once asked my friends their opinions on my significant other's appearance, and I have never offered my opinion on theirs. And now that I think about it, I haven't really had an opinion on their looks by means to judge them." - secret-hero
Commitment Comments
Running Away Bake Off GIF by The Great British Bake OffGiphy"What makes you want to commit (be exclusive, or get married) does it have anything to do with your partner or more of 'I have to be ready within myself first?' " - Secretly_Uninhibited
"For me it was needing to feel like I had personally matured enough to be committed."
"I didn't want to commit to someone who was clearly ready to commit to me if I wasn't ready and could somehow end up wasting their time." - Langhof
"I pushed my wife away for a while, not cut I didn't like her, just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. We've been married for 10, together for about 15." - LostOldAccountTimmay
There's a lot more in the thread, but there's only so much article time you can devote to erections, hugs, and that one guy whose now-wife is the real MVP.
Shout out to that lady. We applaud you, sis.
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.