Things that go bump in the night are a problem. And things that go bump in the day are even worse. No matter how old I get, noises in the dark, or light, still give me pause. I sleep with a stun gun just in case. I also like to keep sage and a rosary near by at all times. You never know if the noise is a person or a spirit. You have to be ready to take them all out.
Redditor u/pigthepuggle wanted everyone to discuss the times when things went bump in the night and left people shaken so they asked... What is the scariest noise that you've heard, so scary that your body had a physical response and what made it?Who hasn't been woken from a sound sleep by a glass breaking? Or who hasn't been rattled to the core by a car engine exploding in the tranquil middle of the day? We all have been victim to forms of sound terrorism. One of the worst for me is sudden tsunamis of thunder. That makes me jump sky high. Let's see who can relate.
STRIKE!
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Lightning striking a nearby gas tank (as in about 100 meters away at max) and the thunder that followed right after the explosion of the tank. Nearly sh*t myself that night. I could've been dead.
Water Issues
When I was younger, I was home alone and I thought I heard foot steps in my house. I started to freak out and I could barely get up off my bed to go to my bedroom door. I started to ask if anyone was there but I didn't get a response but I couldn't hear the foot steps anymore. I closed the door and locked it to prevent anyone from getting inside. Then, I realized it was just our water boiler making weird sounds and I was just being a dunce. :/.
Compressions
I was at my desk, working. Suddenly this absolutely piercing scream erupted. This sound was so loud that it hurt my ears even when I cupped my hands over them and pressed as hard as I could. Several of us exited the office and ran down the stairs, but that's where the sound was coming from.
Turns out, one of the pipes exploded off TWO 2000-gallon air accumulation tanks pressurized to 200psi by an industrial screw compressor. This thing made a train whistle sound like a whisper. I physically couldn't get close enough to turn the ball valve- it hurt too much. One of my coworkers was practically deaf, so he just walked up without a care in the world and shut it off.
Love is Angry
As a young and impressionable teen, I heard this horrible noise outside that sounded like an animal dying. Looked out my window. Nope. Not dying. Just the neighbor's cat having a cat orgy.
I thought they were killing each other first. Something I never want to witness again.
Cat Drama
I live alone now and heard footsteps on the stairs. I looked up, expecting to see a burglar, but I saw nothing as the noise continued. Closer to the bottom and... it's my 9 pound cat who absolutely STOMPS down the stairs. She's tiny but seems to have her own gravitational field that makes her ten times as heavy when she wakes up from her nap on my bed. She has faked out multiple people since her footsteps sound human. It's creepy.
Yeah, animals are the worst when it comes to shattering the peaceful silences. They just stir a ruckus without a care in the world. Also, any of these situations would send me for a Xanax.
"whooooooosh"
I was sitting in the office and heard a low "whooooooosh" sound coming from the living room. My cat came tearing out of the living room like something had really spooked her. I ran into the living room and my couch was in flames! Our laptop was charging and the battery exploded and ignited the underside of the couch.
The noise I heard was the fabric on the bottom burning instantly (it was a thin material). What's crazy is I didn't know what that noise was, I just knew something really bad and dangerous was going on and my immediate gut reaction was to leave the apartment.
FEAR
I was VERY close to a lightning strike one time while watching a thunderstorm outside a friend'd beach house. When it's that close it's not at all like the lighting sound you know, its like the loudest CRACK noise you've ever heard with snapping noises and even the smell of an electrical fire. We immediately all started screaming like a band of monkeys and ran inside.
To this day I can remember there was such an intense feeling all the way in my gut, inside of my primordial soul that said GET THE FREAK AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN OR YOU WILL DIE. In that moment there was NOTHING that could have kept my lizard level brain function outside with that lightning. Some real caveman primal fear crap I'd never felt before and haven't felt since.
Dinner
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Wild dogs tearing apart our food provisions while camping lakeside in Mexico. The growls were deep and methodical. They were keeping us scared while also establishing dominance amongst each other. Freaking terrifying.
When in Cyprus...
Air raid sirens at 5 am, and I thought war had broken out.
I had just arrived in Cyprus, having landed at like midnight. I was staying with friends in their guest bedroom, and after close to 24 hours of travel I was dead to the world.
But then the air raid sirens started.
I hid under the bed, and it felt like it went on forever, but then I slowly realized no one else seemed to be reacting to the sirens. No one outside screaming, no jets actually flying overhead, nothing.
It turns out it was the annual commemoration of the Turkish invasion of Cyprus, and my friends forgot to tell me.
In the Night
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Woke up to something that literally sounded like a woman/person screaming from pain or something. Turns out foxes make some freaky noises.
Well I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my nerves. What is it about sudden sounds of impending doom that sends us all a flutter? You'd think we'd all be use to violent cacophonies by now. I ponder that thought over some vodka later.
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Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.
Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.
U/Imaginary_East5786 asked: What was the weirdest thing the weird kid did at school?
Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.
Was it worth it?
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He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.
> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'
> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended
> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended
> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended
Uhhh what was the intention here?
He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.
Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.
Boom theret.
At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."
So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.
I hope there was no overlap in the columns.
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She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.
2 separate lists or just the 1?
Same list 2 columns lol.
Holy crap.
Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could now...sh*t was wild.
This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.
Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.
Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.
Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.
A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.
Every school had the cat girl.
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The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.
Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.
Mood.
Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.
I was exactly this kind of weird.
He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.
The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.
I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man
Those who work behind bars meet people from all walks of life and hear a variety of unusual anecdotes.
I never worked as a bartender, but I know they get an earful from babbling patrons who have had one too many to drink.
Curious to hear about the wild life stories shared at bars, Reddit xXSlimi_Gacha009 asked:
"Bartenders of reddit, what was the weirdest/craziest thing you have overheard while making someone's drink?"
Attention Seekers
Patrons say the darnedest things.
Bobby
"The first restaurant/bar i worked in I was only serving but I frequently was in the section right next to the bar. One day I was busy serving a large group, but the restaurant was mostly empty and a guy behind me at the bar said 'you wanna pet my parrot?' my initial reaction was the same as if a stranger had just come up behind me and touched my shoulders but when I turned around... It really was a guy with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrots name was Bobby and yes both me and the bartender pet him 😂"
– Midiblye
Sales Pitch
"I was tending bar during an extremely busy happy hour. The place was mobbed and super noisy. Suddenly, a guy sitting at the bar stands up and announces 'Ladies and gentlemen of the bar, I represent the Acme meat company and we carry a full line of high quality...'. The entire bar goes silent while he continues to do his sales pitch at full volume. For some reason he decided that this was a great time and place to hustle up some business. My manager sprinted over to him and told him knock it off and that kind of thing wasn't allowed in here. So he sat down and resumed drinking."
Favorite A**hole Bartender
"Regular of mine who I hadn't seen in awhile was sitting at the bar when I came in for a shift change."
"I came in the back way and noticed he had crutches leaning against the bar."
"Recently in the news someone hadn't had their shotgun properly secured in their truck and it went off..."
"So I jokingly say, 'you're that f'king idiot who blew off his leg arent you?'"
"The whole bar gets quiet and everyone is mean mugging me."
"My regular starts laughing..."
"Yeah, it was him. I had no idea. I didn't apologize, because as his favorite a**hole bartender those comments were expected of me."
"Poor guy was only 20 couple and blew his leg off close to the hip. No idea how he survived."
Murder Plot
"I was a bartender for about two weeks (filling in for a relative who owned a bar and went on his honeymoon)."
"I heard a guy talking to a woman about murdering her husband. I called the cops, but these patrons were gone before they showed up. This was before cameras, so I just gave my story and that was it."
"Not long after, my uncle calls me saying the cops are looking for me. They interview me about the couple. Apparently, the guy was a hitman for hire and the woman was trying to get some insurance money. She got busted."
"It was actually an episode of 'Forensic Files' back when that was on TV. I remember watching the episode and they said something like 'the couple was overheard discussing the murder in a bar.' I was kind of upset that they didn't mention me. Lol. I was hoping for, 'The awesome bartender overheard them, but couldn't really tell us much. He also pointed at the male in the photo lineup and asked 'Is this him?' as if he was unsure. What a f"king dope.'"
"Edit 1: I spent half of the day reading the descriptions of every episode that's streaming on Netflix and watching the ones that seemed relevant. I didn't figure it out and I'm sorry, but I just don't know which episode it was. I recorded it on a VHS tape years ago, but don't know where that is either. I'm moving, so if I come across it, I'll edit this and let everyone know which one it was."
"Edit 2: As I recall, the hitman wasn't a professional by any means. I think the episode said he was just a local junkie who'd pretty much do anything for his next fix."
– Myzyri
Extremely Random
The following conversations were undoubtedly head-turners.
Poop-Blocked
"From a woman to her friend, 'I don't know about you but I just can't poop in a pink bathroom.'"
Proud Pecker
"Someone was boasting about his 'Very small penis! VERY TINY! LIKE MICRO!' he proceeds to lower his pants and show it to his friend 🤷♀️"
Couples
Passions are inflamed where alcohol is in the mix.
Ferris Wheel Payment
"A married couple in their fifties arguing how they were going to explain the fact they couldn't pay the remainder of the 3 million euro bill for a Ferris wheel they'd ordered 18 months ago, already put a million deposit on, and who's collection was due at 8am the following morning."
That's Amore
"Man and woman is sitting at the bar. She starts crying and says 'I just want us to have something special'. The guy looked her dead in the eyes and said 'we do have something special, we have sex. We are both married'. 10 minutes later they are making out and she's rubbing him over his pants. I loved slow Wednesdays."
I'm a cheap date.
So whenever I'm halfway through my first – and usually ONLY – glass of cab sav at a bar, I know I'm talking in a stream of consciousness and volunteering embarrassing personal information.
Once, I confided to all the patrons and staff at a bar in Barcelona, France, about my embarrassing college experience. And I apparently gave a wild performance when the DJ played Prince's "Kiss."
I'm still searching this subReddit to see if any of the comments might be referring to me.