Life is an obstacle course in survival. Every corner we turn and every breathe we take could be our last.
Danger is abound at all times. That is why it is so important to stay vigilant. We can't take superfluous chances.
Trouble lurks in all forms. It doesn't have to be a mass murderer, the neighbor's dog can be lethal.
It's all about navigating the minefield that is life.
Redditor u/Reddit807 wanted to hear about all the times life has left us SHOOKETH to the bone by asking:
What's the scariest thing you've ever stood face to face with?
Everytime I get behind the wheel of a car, I pray. Recently it feels like everyone is driving like they're stunt doubles in Mad Max: Thunderdome. Evil and death are waiting to look us dead in the eye at any second. Others can elaborate...
CHARGE!!!
"An Emu at a hobby farm that had the sudden realization "Hey, maybe I should be in charge."
Butt Bite
"Wasn't face-to-face, more like face-to-butt, but I squatted to pee in the desert at night on a camping trip and a rattle snake started rattling about a foot behind me. Lost my mind and ran. Pee everywhere."
"Man, I go to sleep by a tree, as to stay away from owls, and then some human witch comes up and starts peeing on me! She's lucky I was tired and didn't feel like biting her in the tush."
Bad Strength...
"Believe it or not, but an ox. Those things are huge, and look like they could stomp things into oblivion... but they are actually fairly calm."
"Its crazy how strong buffalo or oxen are. They can stomp you into paste if they feel like it."
- Pagan-za
When in Australia...
"I was snorkeling in a lake in Australia that connected to the sea, there was a Protected fish sanctuary along the part of the shore I swam near so I decided to go take a look. It was fantastic, lots of fish a few turtles and just a lot of wildlife in general. I was having a blast looking at all the fishies when they all just completely bolted and suddenly there was no wildlife I could see. I turned around to find a big ole shark staring at me from about 10 metres away."
"I was so scared that I instantly started to back up, luckily I wasn't to far out from shore and I was able to make it back safely. From what I could see from shore, it hung around for about 5 minutes before I wasn't able to see it anymore but I didn't ever go swimming there again out of pure fear."
- N3ssaW
Bad Insects
"An aggressive 10cm tarantula."
"I've had the same experience with a baboon spider( its a kind of tarantula)."
"I kept catching it and letting it go outside and it kept coming back inside the house. I kept taking it further away and it kept coming back. Eventually I dropped it off about 1km away and it never came back. First time I tried to catch it, it hissed at me then jumped at me."
- Pagan-za
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Why is it always animals and insects? How are they so brutal? Did God make them that way as a joke? If I see a tarantula you can just bury me then and there!
Be Careful
red kangaroo eating GIF
Giphy
"A 7 foot tall Buck Kangaroo, he was sizing us up but there was three of us and only one of him so he moved on, Kangaroos will mess you up if you're not careful."
- Sean_A_D
When in the Water
"I was out swimming in the open ocean during a boat trip. Outta nowhere this giant freaking whale swims right under me. Whales aren't scary but it was so big and so close that I was just paralyzed. I really don't know what it was that made it so absolutely horrifying but it just was."
- daanimas
Frozen
"A huge Ethiopian hyena at a late night and alone, i was not more than 13 years of age. We stood 3 meters apart from Each other frozen for like 6 seconds, right in front of my house and then decided to run off back to the forest, which was very close. Wild times!"
In the Backwoods...
I was backwoods camping last year in early/mid September in Algonquin Park in Canada, and I woke up one morning to the skins of a twig cracking like a footstep. I peeked out over the edge of my hammock, and there was a bull moose standing about 10 feet away. I stayed very quiet and very still, and a moment later he wandered off into the woods. It was a very cool nature experience, but I don't underestimate how lucky I am that he didn't notice me there.
Old Faithful
bison GIF
Giphy
"A bison. I had just parked my car in the lot for the Old Faithful Inn and gotten out."
"I turn at to see where my SO was, and saw a full grown bison maybe 6 feet away standing in the grass, doing giant buffalo things. I took a quick selfie from behind my car and Noped it towards the hotel"
And Bull?
"A freaking moose."
"I was backwoods camping last year in early/mid September in Algonquin Park in Canada, and I woke up one morning to the skins of a twig cracking like a footstep. I peeked out over the edge of my hammock, and there was a bull moose standing about 10 feet away. I stayed very quiet and very still, and a moment later he wandered off into the woods. It was a very cool nature experience, but I don't underestimate how lucky I am that he didn't notice me there."
Explosion
"A burning pot of oil someone left on the stove as it exploded in front of me when I walked onto the kitchen to see what the smoke was coming from. A bottle of water in the cupboard above had just melted from the heat and dripped in according to the fire inspection. Scariest but the coolest thing I've ever seen that I never want to see again."
"The Dean of Mean"
"I literally bumped into MMA fighter Keith "The Dean of Mean" Jardine in a CD store in Sydney. We stared at each other but I wouldn't say it was face to face, more like face to sternum. The guy is huge."
"Mind you, after giving the first impression that he was scary he was actually pretty nice. He smiled at me, apologized, told me he had flown in from the US just that morning so was pretty jet lagged and not paying as kick attention to where he was going as he should, and walked away after apologizing again."
Hail King
nat geo desert GIF by National Geographic Channel
Giphy
"A king cobra. It was a good 15 feet away from me, but the thing was like 10ft long itself. I was both fascinated and scared as frig at the same time."
- Maanavdv
Look Away
"An Elk. My gf and I set up camp and took a day hike. On the way back to camp we came into a clearing, and there she (I think she was a she) was. Walking towards us. She walk next to us for a bit. The path was lower than where she was by a foot or two (.5 meter) so my head ( I am 6'2" 2 meters tall) was about even with or below her back. Honestly I was trying my best not to look at her and stay looking straight ahead. There was some bushes up ahead that the trail lead between. It would naturally block her parallel path and let us keep going."
"She easily could have trampled us if she got the urge. Something about the whole experience made me think there was motherhood involved, but I have no real evidence of that. She just escorted us off her land. Scary and wonderful all at the same time."
- Efarm12
Brace for Impact
"The sight of a huge pick up truck barreling towards our car on a high way. Seeing it and knowing impact was coming... waiting... bracing. I thought I was dead and was so scared that I was going to die with people who I felt didn't love me. Impact...everything shattering... and then just... silence. I'm not sure if there was truly silence or if my adrenaline was coursing through at that point. I don't remember much after that truthfully."
- kiwimadi
Bad Pooch
"A dog trying to attack me. My friend showed up to the house unannounced with her dog. I opened the door and the dog jumped at me and started snapping at my face. I had to push it away. My dog was quick to attack it, which resulted in a dog fight. I had some deep scratches on my forearm. My dog ended up needing stitches, but her dog got the worst of it. I ended up being fine. Both dogs healed quickly. She never tried to bring her dog over again."
In the Storm
"Driving in a tour van with a full band and crew and pulling a trailer through an awful storm. The wind started to tip a passing livestock hauler over on top of us. We braked just in time, and somehow the trailer righted itself. We pulled over for a couple minutes to just gather ourselves. Quickly realized with the poor visibility, we shouldn't hang out in the shoulder too long."
mama got it...
"A charging mama moose when I was 12 years old. A charging grizzly when I was 14. A family member trying to carve my daughter out of my stomach (I was 8 ish months pregnant with her) when I was 25. Nearly dying giving birth to said daughter when I was 26. Finally an enraged meth addict/mental health client determined to "date" me, when I was 35. The last year has been basically free of near death experiences so that's been nice."
Roar
The Lion King GIF by Walt Disney Studios
Giphy
"A mountain lion… walked up on it attacking the neighbors golden retriever, so I guess not face to face. But I was probably 15 feet away. There were a bunch of trees and I could hear something but wasn't sure what it was, until I walked around a tree."
"Still feel guilty about immediately putting distance between myself and them, but there would have been nothing I could have done for that dog anyway. 😣"
Lord there is just no place safe. We have to be on guard and on point with every breath. I feel like I can't trust a neighbor, a friend or my fish. Survival is way harder than we were lead to believe. God speed y'all.
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***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphy"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
That 70S Show Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"
You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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