Mae West said that life was a party, only most people didn't know they were invited. Mae West clearly was not hanging out in 2020.
Parties are still, essentially, illegal for tons of people. A pandemic is raging, killing thousands of people daily. Multiple countries are flirting a little too hard with socioeconomic collapse. Entire groups of people are under near-constant attack just for who they are.
Wars rage. Fires burn. Things are ... intense.
And that's just the stuff about "life" in general. That doesn't even begin to touch the personal shortcomings and tragedies that happen to us all.
Yeah, all.
Nobody, regardless of how much they may "have it all," lives a life without sadness.
One Reddit user asked:
What is the saddest truth about your life?
... looks like it's time for some trauma bonding, fam. Like one commenter said:
"it's almost comforting to know sometimes I'm not alone in my aloneness."
Great Expectations
That no matter what I do or say, I will never live up to my own expectations of myself. I'm a disappointment to myself, if that makes sense.
Yup. I left high school with a scholarship to study at the top university in my country. Won a Science Olympiad award. I was on the track to do amazing things.
Then, I f*cked it all up by being me.
I actually did the work and put the effort in, largely ignoring socializing and group events.
Which turned out to be worse than useless during and after college because everyone else got their jobs by meeting people at parties and get-togethers - in other words, networking, a far more valuable skill than the garbage they teach in the official curriculum.
Boring
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I'm bored. Everything is boring, nothing interests me. I tried many things to do, but ultimately, nothing is fulfilling my and become boring very quickly. I haven't really had anything that I enjoy in a decade.
I find pleasure in small things, but it's always temporary. Nothing lasts, nothing I can always return to.
Whenever I find something that I enjoy, I lose interest pretty quickly and need to find something else.
- stilbia
This is exactly it. Nothing is fun. Hasn't been for more than 10 years. Just sort of doing the things I'm supposed to do, waiting to die.
I have no hobbies since I don't really have time. (I work from home full time, maintain a big house & yard and do all cooking, shopping, laundry etc. Also watch grandchild 4 days a week).
I liked to travel, but there was none of that in 2020. Now I'm pretty old and imagine I'll die soon.
What's the point?
No Idea Where To Start
I have lived half my life hiding who I am and changing me and my behavior to please other people, afraid of rejection that I lost sight of who I am. I have never been able to just be myself and I have no idea where to even start.
Having a lot of different "personalities" but not knowing which one is you and which ones are personalities you mirrored off other people feels really scary, to be honest.
Worst thing about it is that some people think you are a fake friend because you behave different around everyone. I am not a fake friend, I simply just don't know how to behave otherwise and be myself.
Working Hard
I was always taught if you work hard and do the 'right thing' that the world will recognize this and eventually the struggle will end and you'll be okay...
I did those things and got screwed over too often for it to be true.
The world owes you nothing, I get that. But if you work your @ss off for something only to continually be kicked down again and again, what's the point of trying to be better at all?
I was taught to expect hard work and dedication to pay off.
I was fed that lie too.
I was the a-hole my whole life. I absolutely f*cked everyone over at every chance and did horrible, messed up, things.
This year realized the scary truth that in the end, I screwed myself over most of all.
People who were doing good things and worked hard are the ones who are happy. F*ck money. It won't make you happy.
Screwing people over and manipulating will only leave you alone and whacked in head with trust issues.
Trust me.
- 1van116
No Purpose
Once my daughter grows up I will have no purpose in life
This made me tear up. My dad, even though he passed away when I was little, will always be my bestfriend. I always remember him every single day, especially when I am going through a hard time or when I accomplish something in life.
I wish I could call him on weekends and I wish he could hug me when I cry alone. I get jealous when people talk about their dad. I'm 23.
Don't say such a thing. Of course you'll have a purpose when she grows up - one my dad can never fulfill. As a parent your purpose in life is to be her best friend.
Growing up without him honestly was not hard. What comes after growing up; the struggles and life in general, is hard and that's when I wish I had my dad with me.
- Nabi77
I'm so sorry you lost your dad , I can't even imagine how hard that must be. Tons and tons of internet hugs.
I think your dad would be super proud of the person who you've grown up to be - your kindness is radiating
Alone
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I'm pretty convinced I'll die alone as I have no real friends or relationships and a very distant family.
I plan to one day, once I have enough saved up, sail away on a boat across the world's oceans. If I make it that's great! I would have fulfilled a lifelong dream of circumnavigating the globe, rounding the cape horn, visiting Greenland and Antarctica.
If I get wiped out in the Southern Ocean, I'll at least die on my own terms and become ocean food rather than dying alone in my apartment where no one finds my body for weeks...
What always gets me is that people always say how you need to let someone know before you go on any adventure like a long cycle ride or camping/hiking trip etc. But who would I tell? Like I even have the crash alert disabled on my Garmin for my bike because I don't have anyone who's number I can put in.
Same when anyone asks me to enter my next of kin details. I'm literally here all on my own. I do wish there was someone I could rely on such situations, someone's number I could enter on my phone as an SOS contact, so anytime I'm asked to enter the next of kin/emergency contact details, I won't have to get embarrassed.
I'm reading other people's stories ... it's almost comforting to know sometimes I'm not alone in my aloneness.
Entirely My Fault
Most of the problems I have in my life are entirely my fault.
Everything I don't like about my life, including things that it's now too late to change, were entirely within my power to fix had I done something about them in the past. And the personal flaws that caused me to screw those things up still cause me to screw things up today.
This sounds like something I would do. Self-sabotage is a real thing.
You feel like you don't deserve more; but you do. Treat yourself better - you would probably never be this hard on other people. Don't be so negative towards yourself.
- tahmias
The Hardest Lesson
I'm not really evil, just hurt.
Inside of all of this supposed malice and scary exterior is a traumatized and injured little child too frightened to come out and be vulnerable again and if I don't find a way to let go of the past, I will inevitably hurt every single person I love.
When I woke up to the realization that I did terrible things for no reason other my own pain, I shifted my attention to others. My feelings of guilt made me try and heal the world instead of myself and as I worked on my redemption I became a mentor for those who were as broken as I was.
Especially in romantic relationships. This became an addiction and a very unhealthy Messiah complex.
It wasn't until last year that I finally realized that I cant really help anyone until I helped myself. That the progress I helped others make was limited - they had to leave me behind or stay under my guidance forever without actually growing further and who was I to guide, given that I still had all these inner demons I couldn't face?
I just created co-dependece.
That's why I turned my focus back to myself and started confronting my past. My mental health took a dip at first. But now, with no one around to distract me from my own issues, I am finally making a bit of progress.
I know that I will go back to helping others, as it is something I enjoy and sincerely believe in. But you can't help anyone unless you are willing to help yourself.
Self-love is one of the hardest lessons to learn.
What Do I Want?
That I could do better in life, at least career wise, if I just KNEW WHAT THE F*CK I WANT!
I did insurance, re-stocking supermarkets, caretaker, some more insurance, postal (just within city limits) and I currently drive an non-emergency ambulance.
If the sh!t hits the fan we will do get called as well. I've been at this job since 2015. The job is about 70% ok to good, but the last 30% eat up my substance.
I've wanted "something new" since I was18, but can't make my mind up on WHERE and WHAT to do!
Is recommend some interest assessments. Literally pointed me to careers I'd never heard of, including the field I finally moved to after dabbling in far too many other things. They weigh how you answer questions compared to those of similar backgrounds in lots of different fields. Gave me a lot of insight into where I could put my abilities to best use.
Far Away
I moved to this new city and bought this new house to create a better life for my spouse and myself... but that isn't what happened. Instead, the job didn't pan out, the new city didn't help make anything better/more fun/easier for my spouse and me, and I live further away from my loving family.
I am incredibly lonely all the time and just overall sad at the current state of my personal relationships.
A change of scenery is nice, but often times you realize that basically every city offers the same stuff.
There's the same ethnic food everywhere now, you got a museum, a theatre, a venue for live concerts and a new sports team to root for and maybe and something different to look at. Without people to share that stuff with, it's honestly not great moving around a lot.
People will go somewhere on vacation, romanticize the place and new experiences they had, and then move there, then fall into the same rut in a new place without any close friends or a support network around. It's something to consider when moving a long way away.
Not to say don't ever do it, but like, weight the pros and cons, because it's not all pros.
As someone who moved far away from their family 19 years ago, I feel this.
Kind Of A Loser
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I'm kind of a loser.
I have very few friends, a couple of which don't treat me the best at times. I dropped out of college, wasted a scholarship, and am stuck working a BS minimum wage service industry jobs.
I'm fortunate enough to have few bills, but I'm still struggling with money. I only have a place to live due to the kindness of my best friend and her family.
I'm always tired. I'm always worrying. I feel stuck in this life with no way out. I don't have a 5 year plan.
I know what times I work this week. I'll find out my work schedule for next week on Saturday. I wake up, lay in bed as long as possible, tend to the cats, and go to work.
Come home, lay in bed, attempt to sleep, repeat.
Accustomed To Turbulence
I'm so used to having turbulent relationships (romantic/familial) that I can't imagine being in a healthy relationship where I don't have to fight tooth and nail for everything.
I'm so used to having bad partners that I can't imagine what it's like having a good partner. That, and not having to argue about why I want something even though it's a basic standard.
I'd like to try dating again but spent so much time alone and quarantining that I don't know how to feel around others or open up. I still enjoy people's company and talking, but on deeper levels I feel complete disconnect sometimes. I don't feel disconnected from myself, but I feel I've always had to prove myself and I don't want to anymore.
Especially to people who don't even add value to my life and cause more problem.
At the end of the day I just want kindness and warmth from someone. I do everything on my own and handle it always no matter what transpires. For once, I wish someone would let me feel small and hold me.
Not sure how to say it but with everyone here airing their pain, I hope somehow you feel less alone and more validated.
My Superiors
I put so much pride in my professional accomplishments that the smallest misstep will screw me for days. I'll sink into a deep depression and have turned to substance abuse in the past.
I let my superiors dictate my mental health, and have worked and worked to win over some ethereal sense of trust/approval by my superiors.
No Luck
Just as a premise, I know my life is much better than most people, and I don't like people feeling sorry for me, but I'll answer the question, so here it goes: I'm 30 years old, and I've still never dated anyone in my life. Not even a "puppy love" relationship when I was a kid, or the typical teen dating adventures people have.
I know that sounds like a typical Redditor complaint, but unlike many of these other complainers, I don't have Social Anxiety Disorder(SAD), or any form of shyness. I'm actually really social, and good at talking to people, as well as outgoing(when there's not a pandemic). I've only told a handful of people this in my life, and when they find out, they're surprised because of how good I am talking to people.
I'm not picky either, and I've used dating apps, etc. I've never lived in the most vibrant, or social area, so that could be a factor, but other than that, it's just been bad luck. I wish I could say my situation is by choice, but it's not.
Let's hope when the pandemic ends, my luck turns around.
McJob Cares
I work at a fast food job. I have a roommate who works grocery and sometimes has seizures. He will have them every couple months but he will have like 6 over the course of 10 hours. We are trying to find a med that works for him but so far he has been doing well taking CBD.
His grocery store always gets a crummy attitude with him when he has his seizures. Because he has the multiple, but more minor seizures I will call in to work to keep an eye on him (I have fished a naked roommate out of the tub, for example). My bosses are far more understanding about my missing work than his job is.
He has had several seizures over the years at his work and the last time he had one there, his assistant store director saw video from security and a co-worker's cell phone and said "I don't see anything".
How sad is it that my literal McJob has more concern for my roommate that they have never met than his own job does for him!?
- SouthPaw7896
I Was So Idealistic
I have approximately 5 years left to live due to heart failure. Possibly 10 years maybe just 1 more year.
I'm 49 now, found out when I was 48. I feel like I've wasted my life and haven't made a dent in the world. I was so idealistic when I was younger and truly believed I would help save the world or do something to make a difference.
I was wrong, so very wrong.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.