I love knowledge.
And I've always been envious of those that have it in spades.
I can't watch Jeopardy because it makes me sad.
Yet I love learning about all of the facts.
I've been told that power, much like ultimate wealth, apparently comes with a cost.
Make me believe it...
Redditor GoodDepth wanted to discuss the more somber life details about intelligence. They asked:
"What is the sad truth about smart people?"
I want an IQ of 180. But all the studying in the world won't get me there. Sadly... tell me about being brilliant!
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“Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It just lets you get lost in more remote places.' — Garrison Keillor"
"The smarter you get, the more you realise you don't know."
"I've noticed there's something weird with this, though. If someone hits a certain level of mastery in one area, they seem to think they can easily be an expert in all areas."
"As an example I used to be a professional carpenter that did work on mostly high end builds. The amount of Doctors and Engineers that were suddenly master plumbers, finish carpenters and electricians and 'knew' more than me after a few days of research was infuriating."
"facts and logic"
"They have no effect on dumb people's opinions."
"Persuasion (like teaching) is definitely a separate skill from intelligence. You can throw around 'facts and logic' all you want, but humans aren't robots. And what you/they consider factual and logical, may not be so."
"I’ve found that people don’t like to be persuaded by logic and facts if they don’t have any logical facts to back their stance to begin with. They much rather go off hysteria and what they believe rather than what reasoning led them to that belief."
"Our school system (Australia) isn't built to deal with them. It crushes bright kids down to everyone else's level. The usual solution is just to give them extra work to do on top of the assigned work, when they finish that too fast. But to a kid, that's a punishment. In this way achieving beyond a certain accepted parameter is quietly discouraged."
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"They are full of doubt compared to people who are not smart."
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. -B. Russell"
So brains don't automatically equal brilliance and happiness... Who knew?
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"Being smart enough to know you're right while dealing with people too stupid to know they're wrong is soul crushing."
"There's different levels of 'smartness' and different smart people go about life in different ways. But, I think universally young prodigies are typically isolated. They are at a level far above children their age, but are far younger than the people that match intellectually with (lacking life experience). Either way, a young prodigy can't connect with either group."
"They don't always find ways of living up to their potential."
"To add to this, they're often told they should live up to their potential simply because it exists. The number of times myself and some of my current MSC colleagues have been told we are wasting our potential by not being physicians is soul crushing."
"And demeaning because it implies that pursuing anything other than the hardest, highest paid disciplines is a waste of you, regardless of what makes you happy. Truly sad to see smart people in careers or lives they hate because they did what other people told them they should do."
I should probably go back to therapy...
"Expectations. Never learning to study until it is too late. Being forced to learn outside of your age related interests. Being terrified of failure. Not being able to balance ambition and said fear of failure. Once again, expectations. My mother put so much pressure on me at such a young age I couldn't handle it. I have done well for myself as an adult, but will never be able to live up to those expectations set by her and others. I should probably go back to therapy."
LevelsPraising John Goodman GIF by The Righteous GemstonesGiphy
"There are different types of intelligence. Being good at physics doesn't mean that you should manage people."
Well I'm glad to only have average level intelligence. Who needs the stress.
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People come and go, that is just a fact of life. The older you get you realize, it's a sad fact. I know we all come and go for a reason. You know, everyone you meet, you meet for a reason. They may stay or go, but it's all about what they teach you for the moment. Even if the moment was meant to be fleeting, once an impact is made, it leaves a mark that can leave a longing.Redditor u/jillysue wanted to chat about those people who still leave a hole in our hearts by asking... Of the people who are still alive but have drifted out of your life, who do you wonder about the most and why?
I have been doing theatre for over a decade. I've lost count of the number of shows I've done. Which means I have no idea the amount of actors I've worked with. Or the amount of humans I've connected with. And the number of souls I've shared with. There are so many I miss. And even if I can't remember their names, clearly I'm not alone....
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My buddy from 1993-2003. He was a part of my daily/weekly life for an entire decade. I was the best man at his wedding. He married a lovely woman and she and I were even friends.
They moved away to a new town and started a family. We last went to a ballgame together in 2011. I never heard from him again after that. In that 10 years I was sure we would be friends for life. I did not expect that we would drift apart, but it happened.
The Kid at 15...
Kid I knew when I was 15. We weren't close friends, but he called me up in the middle of the night once to tell me he was going to kill himself. He hung up on me and wouldn't answer his phone after that.
I woke up my mom and convinced her to drive me to his house at like 3 am. He came out and was fine, he was just completely shocked I actually came to check on him.
He was really thankful that I cared at all. His home life was pretty crummy and he moved away to stay with his grandma soon after that. After he moved out of state we lost touch. That was 20+ years ago and I still wonder if his life got better. I hope he did.
When I was seven years old, I had a best friend named Shannon. One day she didn't come to school, and nobody answered at her house when my mom called. A month later I got a phone call from her and she said they had to go away and she missed me, then the call cut out like someone took the phone and hung up on her. I never heard from her again.
I assume she and her family went into witness protection or something similar. I hope they made it through and she grew up okay.
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A good friend of mine that I've known since 4th grade.
His mother died from Huntington's and he tested positive for the gene for it which means, as far as I am aware, he can get it. I know he's done well for himself over the years but he still creeps into my mind from time to time wondering how he is.
I Just Knew
Once was with a guy in my wedding. Good friends but he moved far away. He came back for the wedding but never really saw him since. It was kinda a lesson in life that people don't just kinda stick in your life they are either there or not.
Another friend, best friend from high school.
Was in his wedding around 10 years after high school. Driving back I realized I was probably never going to talk to him again and haven't. I just knew. I'm very grateful for our friendship and somethings are just meant for a certain time.
See there? Everyone has that someone or three. Whether it's family, friend, teacher or stranger... each soul we pass by has an imprint to leave. Let's hear about more...
When I was a child and living with my parents, we rented our basement to a man named Hoon.
He was super nice to us and even tutored my brother and I in school. The coolest thing was that he was super into astronomy and every so often, he set up his telescope in our backyard to look at stars and the moon and invited us to look as well. He became like family to us and when my parents decided to tear down our house and build a new place.
Hoon came along with us to live in a temporary space until the house was built, and then moved back to our new house as our tenant again. During this period, Hoon also drove my brother and I to school as we were not living within walking distance from our temporary space. After 1-2 years, one day my parents said that Hoon moved back to Malaysia and we never saw him again.
My then friend, who was another one of our tenants, told me that Hoon died and my parents were lying to me. I asked my parents about this but they said that isn't true. I think my then friend was just messing with me. I always wondered why he suddenly moved and haven't been able to find any online presence of him.
His nickname was Question. Kid from high school used to come sit with us at lunch. Great guy, super nice.
Every. Single. Thing. He. Said. Was. A. Question?
He would ask you about your entire day.
Where you got your new shoes. Ask about your haircut. I would ask him the same questions and he wouldn't answer me, kind of stare off and almost ignore the question completely. Then he would ask you another question.
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Runescape user Lonewolf1039. You made my childhood amazing, bro. Countless hours playing one of my childhood favorites with an online friend. We called each other brother.
If you're still out there, MK Groudon misses you, man.
Off the Earth
When I went backpacking around SE Asia I went with no particular plans. I ran into a Polish paratrooper my second day there who used me to get a couple of girls to go out for drinks with him (us) since I said "hey" to him earlier in the day. He wasn't going anywhere in particular either so we spent the next two months on the road going to 5 different countries.
The guy was literally my brother for those two months.
We parted ways when I had to go to a country he couldn't get a visa for and it was where I was to catch my flight home. We still talked daily for a few weeks and we were talking about starting a business then he falls off the face of the earth. I'm positive his dad was a someone so he didn't talk much about certain aspects of his life.
He didn't have any social media and he didn't renew the domain he hosted his email on so no way of contacting him. Even friends who we met along the way frequently ask if I've heard from him since they wanted to connect with him again.
I keep hoping one of these days we'll run into each other at a cafe or something by the waterfront having a beer like we did traveling.
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I made a lot of questionable choices in my later teen years and early 20s, before I was capable of using solid judgment. I wonder about the people I unintentionally hurt, and I wonder if I should apologize a decade later.
I wonder what they would feel or think if I crossed their minds. I wonder if they've forgiven me and considered giving me the benefit of the doubt, or if they'll always remember me as "the one who did x" to them or "didn't do y." I feel a lot of regret and it still brings me a lot of shame and I let it hold me back a lot.
I worked with a girl back in my early 20s when I was still in the service industry. We would hang out pretty regularly. I had a bit of a crush on her. I really thought there may have been something there...
Anyways. She stopped showing up to work. Everyone just assumed that she had quit. She was a bit of a wild child. Moved around a lot and had a bunch of different serving jobs.
So nobody really thought twice about it. (People just stop showing up all the time in that line of work.)
A few weeks later we found out that her family/police had been searching for her. Apparently she disappeared. Still think about it a lot actually. I'm guessing she's dead. But you never know.
I'm Good. Thanks Lady...
I often wonder what happened to the girl that hit me with her car that icy night and took my leg. It's been over 25 years now and I don't hold any animosity towards her (never did, it was just an accident). I hope she went on to have a good life. Mine has had it's ups and downs but I'm in the best place I've ever been now. I'd just like to have the chance to reassure her that I'm doing fine.
In third grade, there was this black kid (only one in our grade) who was absolutely hilarious. He was a complete spaz and the whole class ate it up. Then one day he gave out invitations to his birthday party at some arcade, mini golf, and go kart place. Every kid's dream. The popular girl in the class laughed and said "why would I go to this?" and threw out the invite. Several classmates followed.
The day of the party comes, and it turns out it was literally his family and me that showed up. He didn't seem to care, but you could see the hurt in his parent's eyes. Honestly, that party was an absolute blast because it meant more tokens for each of us.
After that school year ended, his family moved to DC and I never saw him again. I still think about him sometimes to this day. Kids can be so cruel.
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My best friend from elementary school. He was so genuine and full of joy. I hope growing up didn't take that part away from him.
Call me Stephanie...
I was about 12 when there was this girl in my class who would talk to me when I was bullied badly at that point in my life. At first I thought it was a trick to bully me but she was genuine and actually talked to me like I was human. Of course I instantly crushed on her but aside hormones, she really was a kind hearted person who was pretty intelligent.
She always seems to be resourceful by adapting to any situations and just had this optimism that i haven't seen before.
On the day last day of school I was trying so hard to ask her for her number because I really felt like she was a friend and just a wonderful person in general. But I was too nervous and we both stared at our shoes for a little while before bidding farewell.
Man I really wonder how u been Stephanie, I really do hope u have an amazing life because u deserve it more than anyone I know.
A New Life
A friend of mine was going on a canoeing trip once and never got back, a view months later he was declared dead because he couldn't even be found by Interpol. Two years go by and he appears in a picture on Facebook, as German teacher in a school in Kazachstan. Apparently only his sister was in on the fact that he just wanted to start a new life. Hope he's doing well and wish to see him again some day!
In & Out
I had a friend in high school, he was an extremely talented artist, singer, comedian, and actor who could have built a successful career out of his talent. But he turned his back on that and decided to just slack off and smoke pot for a few years. Then one day he disappeared. Ended up some years later in a Central Asian country. He disappeared again. Then a few years later he resurfaced back in the US. Every few years he would pop back into the lives of our old circle of friends, and vanish. Then last summer he died of Covid, still relatively young.
There was a girl with a speech impediment when I was in 1st grade. I thought she was cute and would love to hang out with her on the swing sets. Nobody talked to her because they were either shy or felt she was mentally disabled.
Our class did a butterfly project where we were all given a caterpillar to raise. They came in these little plastic containers and hers ended up dying. I switched mine with here without her noticing and told the teacher mine died instead.
The teacher got me to partner with somebody else and I was okay with sharing. The girl was really happy to see the caterpillar become a monarch and released that Spring.
I never told her what happened to the caterpillar and she eventually moved never to be found again. I tried to search her on social media but no luck.
Weird how that still crosses my mind now and then. This was 2001 for me.
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I got married very young. My wife and I were friends with another young couple.
They broke up right after their first kid and then the husband went out and got two other women pregnant. 19 years old, divorced and 3 kids with 3 different women. I'm 41 now. We rarely fight but when my wife and I have a fight I think about him.
Ben is Gone
Benny. He was my best friend for a long time. We were closer that I was to my real brother. Then he and my brother's girlfriend fooled around and messed everything up. We parted ways, I got clean and went to school. He stayed in it and lived the life I always thought I wanted.
Now, his family never mentions him on social media and I don't know where he is. I hope he's OK. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do.
What is the biggest takeaway from this read? You never know the impact you leave on another person. A moment is a moment, it's intimate, and the connection is real. Embrace the connection while you have it. Time is fleeting and that makes it our enemy. Enjoy each person you connect with, remember, every goodbye may be forever.
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Mae West said that life was a party, only most people didn't know they were invited. Mae West clearly was not hanging out in 2020.
Parties are still, essentially, illegal for tons of people. A pandemic is raging, killing thousands of people daily. Multiple countries are flirting a little too hard with socioeconomic collapse. Entire groups of people are under near-constant attack just for who they are.
Wars rage. Fires burn. Things are ... intense.
And that's just the stuff about "life" in general. That doesn't even begin to touch the personal shortcomings and tragedies that happen to us all.
Nobody, regardless of how much they may "have it all," lives a life without sadness.
One Reddit user asked:
... looks like it's time for some trauma bonding, fam. Like one commenter said:
"it's almost comforting to know sometimes I'm not alone in my aloneness."
That no matter what I do or say, I will never live up to my own expectations of myself. I'm a disappointment to myself, if that makes sense.
Then, I f*cked it all up by being me.
Which turned out to be worse than useless during and after college because everyone else got their jobs by meeting people at parties and get-togethers - in other words, networking, a far more valuable skill than the garbage they teach in the official curriculum.
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I'm bored. Everything is boring, nothing interests me. I tried many things to do, but ultimately, nothing is fulfilling my and become boring very quickly. I haven't really had anything that I enjoy in a decade.
I find pleasure in small things, but it's always temporary. Nothing lasts, nothing I can always return to.
Whenever I find something that I enjoy, I lose interest pretty quickly and need to find something else.
I have no hobbies since I don't really have time. (I work from home full time, maintain a big house & yard and do all cooking, shopping, laundry etc. Also watch grandchild 4 days a week).
I liked to travel, but there was none of that in 2020. Now I'm pretty old and imagine I'll die soon.
What's the point?
No Idea Where To Start
I have lived half my life hiding who I am and changing me and my behavior to please other people, afraid of rejection that I lost sight of who I am. I have never been able to just be myself and I have no idea where to even start.
Having a lot of different "personalities" but not knowing which one is you and which ones are personalities you mirrored off other people feels really scary, to be honest.
Worst thing about it is that some people think you are a fake friend because you behave different around everyone. I am not a fake friend, I simply just don't know how to behave otherwise and be myself.
I was always taught if you work hard and do the 'right thing' that the world will recognize this and eventually the struggle will end and you'll be okay...
I did those things and got screwed over too often for it to be true.
The world owes you nothing, I get that. But if you work your @ss off for something only to continually be kicked down again and again, what's the point of trying to be better at all?
I was taught to expect hard work and dedication to pay off.
I was fed that lie too.
I was the a-hole my whole life. I absolutely f*cked everyone over at every chance and did horrible, messed up, things.
This year realized the scary truth that in the end, I screwed myself over most of all.
People who were doing good things and worked hard are the ones who are happy. F*ck money. It won't make you happy.
Screwing people over and manipulating will only leave you alone and whacked in head with trust issues.
Once my daughter grows up I will have no purpose in life
This made me tear up. My dad, even though he passed away when I was little, will always be my bestfriend. I always remember him every single day, especially when I am going through a hard time or when I accomplish something in life.
I wish I could call him on weekends and I wish he could hug me when I cry alone. I get jealous when people talk about their dad. I'm 23.
Don't say such a thing. Of course you'll have a purpose when she grows up - one my dad can never fulfill. As a parent your purpose in life is to be her best friend.
Growing up without him honestly was not hard. What comes after growing up; the struggles and life in general, is hard and that's when I wish I had my dad with me.
I'm so sorry you lost your dad , I can't even imagine how hard that must be. Tons and tons of internet hugs.
I think your dad would be super proud of the person who you've grown up to be - your kindness is radiating
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I'm pretty convinced I'll die alone as I have no real friends or relationships and a very distant family.
I plan to one day, once I have enough saved up, sail away on a boat across the world's oceans. If I make it that's great! I would have fulfilled a lifelong dream of circumnavigating the globe, rounding the cape horn, visiting Greenland and Antarctica.
If I get wiped out in the Southern Ocean, I'll at least die on my own terms and become ocean food rather than dying alone in my apartment where no one finds my body for weeks...
What always gets me is that people always say how you need to let someone know before you go on any adventure like a long cycle ride or camping/hiking trip etc. But who would I tell? Like I even have the crash alert disabled on my Garmin for my bike because I don't have anyone who's number I can put in.
Same when anyone asks me to enter my next of kin details. I'm literally here all on my own. I do wish there was someone I could rely on such situations, someone's number I could enter on my phone as an SOS contact, so anytime I'm asked to enter the next of kin/emergency contact details, I won't have to get embarrassed.
I'm reading other people's stories ... it's almost comforting to know sometimes I'm not alone in my aloneness.
Entirely My Fault
Most of the problems I have in my life are entirely my fault.
Everything I don't like about my life, including things that it's now too late to change, were entirely within my power to fix had I done something about them in the past. And the personal flaws that caused me to screw those things up still cause me to screw things up today.
This sounds like something I would do. Self-sabotage is a real thing.
You feel like you don't deserve more; but you do. Treat yourself better - you would probably never be this hard on other people. Don't be so negative towards yourself.
The Hardest Lesson
I'm not really evil, just hurt.
Inside of all of this supposed malice and scary exterior is a traumatized and injured little child too frightened to come out and be vulnerable again and if I don't find a way to let go of the past, I will inevitably hurt every single person I love.
When I woke up to the realization that I did terrible things for no reason other my own pain, I shifted my attention to others. My feelings of guilt made me try and heal the world instead of myself and as I worked on my redemption I became a mentor for those who were as broken as I was.
Especially in romantic relationships. This became an addiction and a very unhealthy Messiah complex.
It wasn't until last year that I finally realized that I cant really help anyone until I helped myself. That the progress I helped others make was limited - they had to leave me behind or stay under my guidance forever without actually growing further and who was I to guide, given that I still had all these inner demons I couldn't face?
I just created co-dependece.
That's why I turned my focus back to myself and started confronting my past. My mental health took a dip at first. But now, with no one around to distract me from my own issues, I am finally making a bit of progress.
I know that I will go back to helping others, as it is something I enjoy and sincerely believe in. But you can't help anyone unless you are willing to help yourself.
Self-love is one of the hardest lessons to learn.
What Do I Want?
That I could do better in life, at least career wise, if I just KNEW WHAT THE F*CK I WANT!
I did insurance, re-stocking supermarkets, caretaker, some more insurance, postal (just within city limits) and I currently drive an non-emergency ambulance.
If the sh!t hits the fan we will do get called as well. I've been at this job since 2015. The job is about 70% ok to good, but the last 30% eat up my substance.
I've wanted "something new" since I was18, but can't make my mind up on WHERE and WHAT to do!
Is recommend some interest assessments. Literally pointed me to careers I'd never heard of, including the field I finally moved to after dabbling in far too many other things. They weigh how you answer questions compared to those of similar backgrounds in lots of different fields. Gave me a lot of insight into where I could put my abilities to best use.
I moved to this new city and bought this new house to create a better life for my spouse and myself... but that isn't what happened. Instead, the job didn't pan out, the new city didn't help make anything better/more fun/easier for my spouse and me, and I live further away from my loving family.
I am incredibly lonely all the time and just overall sad at the current state of my personal relationships.
A change of scenery is nice, but often times you realize that basically every city offers the same stuff.
There's the same ethnic food everywhere now, you got a museum, a theatre, a venue for live concerts and a new sports team to root for and maybe and something different to look at. Without people to share that stuff with, it's honestly not great moving around a lot.
People will go somewhere on vacation, romanticize the place and new experiences they had, and then move there, then fall into the same rut in a new place without any close friends or a support network around. It's something to consider when moving a long way away.
Not to say don't ever do it, but like, weight the pros and cons, because it's not all pros.
As someone who moved far away from their family 19 years ago, I feel this.
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I'm kind of a loser.
I have very few friends, a couple of which don't treat me the best at times. I dropped out of college, wasted a scholarship, and am stuck working a BS minimum wage service industry jobs.
I'm fortunate enough to have few bills, but I'm still struggling with money. I only have a place to live due to the kindness of my best friend and her family.
I'm always tired. I'm always worrying. I feel stuck in this life with no way out. I don't have a 5 year plan.
I know what times I work this week. I'll find out my work schedule for next week on Saturday. I wake up, lay in bed as long as possible, tend to the cats, and go to work.
Come home, lay in bed, attempt to sleep, repeat.
Accustomed To Turbulence
I'm so used to having turbulent relationships (romantic/familial) that I can't imagine being in a healthy relationship where I don't have to fight tooth and nail for everything.
I'm so used to having bad partners that I can't imagine what it's like having a good partner. That, and not having to argue about why I want something even though it's a basic standard.
I'd like to try dating again but spent so much time alone and quarantining that I don't know how to feel around others or open up. I still enjoy people's company and talking, but on deeper levels I feel complete disconnect sometimes. I don't feel disconnected from myself, but I feel I've always had to prove myself and I don't want to anymore.
Especially to people who don't even add value to my life and cause more problem.
At the end of the day I just want kindness and warmth from someone. I do everything on my own and handle it always no matter what transpires. For once, I wish someone would let me feel small and hold me.
Not sure how to say it but with everyone here airing their pain, I hope somehow you feel less alone and more validated.
I put so much pride in my professional accomplishments that the smallest misstep will screw me for days. I'll sink into a deep depression and have turned to substance abuse in the past.
I let my superiors dictate my mental health, and have worked and worked to win over some ethereal sense of trust/approval by my superiors.
Just as a premise, I know my life is much better than most people, and I don't like people feeling sorry for me, but I'll answer the question, so here it goes: I'm 30 years old, and I've still never dated anyone in my life. Not even a "puppy love" relationship when I was a kid, or the typical teen dating adventures people have.
I know that sounds like a typical Redditor complaint, but unlike many of these other complainers, I don't have Social Anxiety Disorder(SAD), or any form of shyness. I'm actually really social, and good at talking to people, as well as outgoing(when there's not a pandemic). I've only told a handful of people this in my life, and when they find out, they're surprised because of how good I am talking to people.
I'm not picky either, and I've used dating apps, etc. I've never lived in the most vibrant, or social area, so that could be a factor, but other than that, it's just been bad luck. I wish I could say my situation is by choice, but it's not.
Let's hope when the pandemic ends, my luck turns around.
I work at a fast food job. I have a roommate who works grocery and sometimes has seizures. He will have them every couple months but he will have like 6 over the course of 10 hours. We are trying to find a med that works for him but so far he has been doing well taking CBD.
His grocery store always gets a crummy attitude with him when he has his seizures. Because he has the multiple, but more minor seizures I will call in to work to keep an eye on him (I have fished a naked roommate out of the tub, for example). My bosses are far more understanding about my missing work than his job is.
He has had several seizures over the years at his work and the last time he had one there, his assistant store director saw video from security and a co-worker's cell phone and said "I don't see anything".
How sad is it that my literal McJob has more concern for my roommate that they have never met than his own job does for him!?
I Was So Idealistic
I have approximately 5 years left to live due to heart failure. Possibly 10 years maybe just 1 more year.
I'm 49 now, found out when I was 48. I feel like I've wasted my life and haven't made a dent in the world. I was so idealistic when I was younger and truly believed I would help save the world or do something to make a difference.
I was wrong, so very wrong.
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