Reality TV Staffers Share The Best Behind The Scenes Secrets Producers Don't Want You To Know
I miss the good old days of "reality" tv. Don't you? Do you remember The Real World & MTV's Road Rules? Those were the days, long before everything got convoluted. Then Jerry Springer came along with Survivor and the Kardashians and now it's all just scripted chaos. The fact they use the word "reality" proves they don't know the meaning of it. It's all a show darlings.
Redditor u/flyingbeetlekites was dying to hear from behind the scenes peeps who work on tv that sell "realness" by asking... People who work on reality TV: What happens behind the scenes that you don't want the public knowing?
"unannounced"
I love when they show up "unannounced" at someone's house and there's a film crew IN THE HOUSE!
Repeat after Me....
I worked with someone who had been on one and he said they tell you what to say and how to answer. They also mix and match the answers. They basically film you completing a set of sentences in a controlled way and then thread the narrative they're going for. It's utter nonsense end to end.
"Therapy"
Was on a kind of "documentary" years ago for British TV. The kind where the person has a problem, the TV people offer therapy, activities and fun things to solve the problem (think supersize vs superskinny) when they did the wrap up interview, the edited the hell out of the segment to get the result they wanted. To the point where they spliced audio together and made it a voice over etc.
Eg,
Original audio: This didn't solve the problem, but it's a start and I'm really optimistic.
Authors....
I've got an old friend who writes for a reality TV show. That's right... scripts the spontaneous stuff for actors to say.
Counting Cars
On Counting Cars. Two scruffy dudes in torn clothes and biker tattoos entering someone's garage unannounced and the homeowner is like, "Hi, how are you guys?"
I've noticed this too. Not to mention, scruffy guys driving alongside you, asking you too pull over so they can get a better look at your car; then asking if they can drive your car. The number of antique cars with completely trusting owners is not realistic. Not to mention they buy many of these cars on the spot. I like the show enough to overlook the obvious staging.
Let's Date?
A German satirist once managed to sneak an actor he hired into one of those reality TV dating shows and while the character he created already was very weird; the TV channel that produced the dating show made him completely over the top.
The whole thing is on youtube with english subtitles even. It's brilliant.
Consent
I acted as a lawyer for a reality TV show many years ago. They fired me when I started advising them that they needed informed consent from participants to appear. They said that was impossible, and in any event, half the participants are mentally unwell anyway. I said that just makes me even more certain you need informed consent, and in that case, make sure you have a fully qualified mental health professional sign off of the capability of the prospective participant to give informed consent.
I have not worked for any reality TV shows since.
So much to splice...
I have a friend who worked as an editor for reality shows a few years back. The thing I remember him telling me is that because they shoot so much footage, he can make any storyline the producers want with it.
For 5 Minutes....
I saw something about those shows where young people live in a house together, go out and get drunk and pick up randoms to take back to the house and have sex with.
Well the production companies have a duty of care to the drunk randoms, so they are taken away from the "celebs" made to sober up enough to provide consent, provide full ID and sign a waiver.
They then meet back up with their match and go have sex on camera and then get put in a cab home.
When I thought they were just drunk it was bad enough, but when you realize they have been sitting around sobering up and still go do this it's just sickening what people will do for 5 minutes of "fame".
Again & Again
The retakes. Endless retakes. It's tiresome. You think filming has wrapped up but then have to do pickups. The stuff someone messed up on and there can be many.
Not Their Issue
This is a really interesting piece by someone who was in Masterchef but never signed the required NDA, allowing them to be really open about the whole process.
"In the "MasterChef" contract, which a casting director later told me was essentially identical to those of most reality competition shows, they asked me to agree to be subjected to physical and mental distress, to agree to have my medical history used in any way that they wanted and to use it in perpetuity, to agree that my family would likely not be contacted in the case of an emergency.
They asked me to release the show and its employees from liability for any injury to myself from risks both known and unknown. They asked that I release them from liability from the social and economic losses that could result and to please note that the consequences could be substantial and could permanently change the future for me, my family, friends and significant others."
Bear
A friend of my family worked uncredited with Bear Grylls for man vs wild. Because Grylls is at the end of the day an actor (although pretty knowledgeable about what he's talking about) he's required to be insured by his studio. In comes family friend.
Before an episode, family friend (a former british army paratrooper) attends a meeting with Grylls, and his team, who tell him where Grylls wants to go, and what he wants to do while there (EG: The congo, build a raft, survive via fishing, and set up a tree shelter). Family friend is then jetted off to the place in question with his own team, and the group of them mess around in the wilderness, seeing how viable Grylls's plan is.
After a few weeks they jet back, and inform the company about the hazards, validity, and expected cost. This allows the production company to correctly determine any insurance, gear, safety issues, and plan out Grylls's survival trip.
Family friend has some really good stories about being in survival situations, and is always really blasé about things like "oh yeah we picked out a cave to camp in, and a bear tried to eat us lol'.
The Top 100
I was offered top 100 in an early season of a singing show in Australia. I rejected it because the contract they wanted me to sign had a non-compete clause that stated that even if they didn't use me, I wouldn't have been able to release music independently for 2 years and not have been able to release music with a competing label for 5 years. In retaliation they used my footage but heavily edited my voice and used footage of the judges saying "no" instead of "yes". I also wasn't allowed to discuss it publicly for a number of years and am never allowed to use that show's name in conjunction with my career.
I also had a family friend who won a cooking show here in Australia as well. The final was filmed about a month before it aired, after filming the winning contestant, they re-set everything up and then filmed the other person winning. This was so if it got leaked that the intended winner had indeed won, they would switch the footage and air the loser winning instead (giving them the prizes instead). Luckily for me one of their family members told me in secret and I won a couple hundred betting on them to win whilst they were weren't considered a favourite.
We All Know
I live where a show is filmed and have had friends on it twice. The entire premise of each episode was completely fake. Not a single bit of what was happening was real at all. And they told one of my friends--who is an expert on the item he was talking about--what to say because the real description he gave of the item wasn't dramatic enough for the show. So, the description that made it to tv is not even accurate--it's fantasy made up by the producers.
Another friend was on a different reality tv show. In it, he gets caught doing something he isn't supposed to do and is thrown out by security. It's portrayed in the show as if this is all actually happening. Nope. He was hired as an actor to come in and break the rules to get kicked out. Everyone was in on it.
Pre-Ordained
Classic not be, but... A friend of mine has a sister who made it to the X-Factor semifinal 10+ years ago. From around their second or third audition, she signed a contract that specifically said how far she would make it before she got sent home. Everything was planned from her first televised act (there is a pre-audition or two that isn't shown on TV where they select the contestants). The bands and singers that made it to the final also knew beforehand, but my friend's sister told us that she wasn't sure if they were told exactly who was going to win.
Also, if you don't have a tragic nor specifically interesting story to tell when you're interviewed, they'll make up a sob-story themselves. Of course it's been so many years since she was on the show that a lot of things can have changed, but this is how it was back then.
They Own You
i had a friend who was going to go on one of those tv talent shows but wanted me to look at the contract first because i knew quite a bit about the music industry. the contract was horrible. like i've seen some crappy contracts in my time but never any this bad. basically you had to scrub your online history, they own any song ideas/covers you ever posted online, any original songs you come up with now belongs to the record company, the contract you're signed to a 6 album deal if you come in top 5.
And if you try to get out the contract then you'll have to pay them back any money they put into you along with any money they claim your music "lost" which was really just you not meeting projections. you'll also have little control over your artistic voice but will still be blamed if they don't think the songs are good enough, even if you were working with the song writers they force on you.
The Shill
Probably already pretty well known, but on House Hunters, the people looking to buy a house have already bought and signed a contract on their chosen house.
The two other homes they are shown are "shill" properties that might or might not even be for sale. If the house is shown fully furnished, it's a shill. I have friends who were on the show years ago and still laugh about their great acting jobs pretending to be interested in houses that weren't even on the market.
Not so Great
I work in reality and docuseries. Can answer specific questions if you have them. The turnaround time in renovation shows means that the quality is atrocious. Never let your house be used in a renovation/rehab show. You'll end up paying almost full price for crap quality. I would say the only exemption is something like Grand Designs where they document the building process but don't interfere with it at all.
The Bigger they Get
Anyone ever work with "Impractical Jokers"? I love their show, but I don't understand how the people they prank don't recognize them.
I have for some years. As the years have gone on, the boys have gotten bigger and it's gotten to be more of an issue. But they also put a big premium on real interactions.
It may take longer now, but it's all a numbers game of approaching enough people. If they are recognized, they may swap out who is "on the floor" or take a short break until the crowd has changed enough to go back out. I have nothing but nice things to say about how hard they work to make it real.
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Men Who Used To Act 'Creepy' Around Women Explain What Made Them Change Their Ways
Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay |
Society definitely teaches men some really cruel and unrealistic things about women. It ends up warping their attitudes and later affects the relationships they develop (or try to develop, in other cases). Men are also taught that women are crappy communicators, or simply don't communicate at all. Perhaps that contributes to men's behavior around women, which can come off the wrong way. It can seem entitled at best, frightening or violent at worst.
After Redditor rocketbot99 asked the online community, "Men who used to be creepy around women and stopped, what made you change your ways?" men shared their stories.
"Once I got sober..."
<p>It took me recognizing I was addicted to alcohol, tobacco, pornography, and sex. I had been aggressive toward women and objectifying them since I was a child. I think this happened because I was exposed to sex at such a young age. I thought all relationships were supposed to be how movies and shows were so I just emulated what I saw.</p><p>Once I got sober I realized how much of a monster I was and took the necessary steps to really implement change in my life. Lots of therapy. Lots of crying. Self-reflection as to why I was emulating that specific behavior, and quitting my addictions. It's been a journey, but I'm happy to say I've been in a loving committed relationship with proper boundaries for a year now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gohjqu6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ghetto_Pinnochio</a></p>"Talking to women..."
<p>Talking to women, becoming friends with women, changing my circle of friends, growing up, learning empathy, and the final nail in the coffin was sobriety.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh73o1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ruberusmaximus</a></p>Yes...
<p>...it can be as simple as that.</p><p>And to those of you out there tackling your issues and facing the long road of sobriety: You're rockstars.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"That was decades ago..."
<p>Growing self-awareness that I wasn't the centre of the goddamn universe.</p><p>Went through a chasing-potential-girlfriends-too-hard phase in my earlier adult years, including mistaking simple offers of friendship and work colleague status for actual interest. It wasn't "stalking" level and it never reached the point of discipline (or even commenting), but it was probably to the point of being a little unprofessional and uncomfortable for the girl involved.</p><p>That was decades ago and I'm now with a company that doesn't tolerate that sort of thing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gog2i1f?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">theoriginalretro</a></p>"I would always get really close..."
<p>In middle school, I was a mid-puberty, horniness-stricken, little perv. I didn't do a good job of concealing it either, I would always get really close to my one friend because I liked her at the time, and looking back it was so wrong to do.</p><p>It took me looking at what they were thinking and how my behavior affected them to really stop being creepy. Hindsight helps a lot as well.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gog299h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">userone1</a></p>What's that saying?
<p>Hindsight is 20/20? You bet.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"This sounds weird to me now..."
<p>I'm guilty of this, though naively and innocently so.</p><p>This sounds weird to me now, but I actually grew up in a household that valued back, neck. and shoulder rubs.</p><p>I did this for a long, long time to people I was friends with, men and women. In my head, it was just a way of saying I cared.</p><p>In retrospect, it undoubtedly gave of a super-creepy vibe.</p><p>I stopped once I saw it in context of someone else doing it to a woman, and her facial reaction to it. Then it just clicked. "Oh...OHHHHHhhh...wow, that's inappropriate..."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh7h4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">virgilreality</a></p>"They aren't laughing..."
<p>They aren't laughing because I'm funny, they're laughing because they're scared.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gogz9hr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kirixen</a></p>"Then I got married..."
<p>When I was in my late teens and early 20s I was constantly "chasing girls" as the expression goes. Nobody ever seemed to take offence to it, that kind of behaviour seemed expected. Plus, I always seemed to be able to find someone who was interested in hooking up.</p><p>Then I got married so obviously I stopped. I found myself single again 10years later and quickly reverted to my old ways. It wasn't long before I realized that things that I could get away with at 21 no longer worked at 32. In fact, based on the reactions of a couple of women, I realized I was being creepy. Of course, the women I was pursuing were also older too.</p><p>I realized I had to take a more mature approach. Things went much better after that, but I still cringe to think of some of my early attempts to get back in the game.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gogz1kt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WYMYZR</a></p>"When I broke up with..."
<p>When I broke up with my first serious girlfriend, I was totally heartbroken.</p><p>I called her all the time, cried on the phone. I even threatened to kill myself and told her so. This went on for some time.</p><p>Eventually, I threatened again to kill myself and went to bed drunk. I woke up to a voicemail from her crying her eyes out begging me not to do it.</p><p>I was so ashamed about my behavior. I realized in that message what I had become. It was absolutely her right, as it was mine, to end a relationship at any time for any reason, without being hounded and traumatized by the ex. I was evil and toxic.</p><p>I apologized and promised never to do it again. After that, I left her alone. I was still heartbroken, but I found comfort in my friends, and in activities and hobbies instead. I had several failed relationships after her, but I never again treated a woman this way. This was over fifteen years ago and now I am married. I have been tempted many times to contact her and apologize some more for my behavior, but the truth is, she is better off without me in her life. I hope she is well.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh7rja?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fire_TheTorpedo2011</a></p>"I realized..."
<p>I realized that I wasn't a knight in shining armor, and they weren't princesses to be adored and saved.</p><p>Rather than trying to ingratiate myself with them, I just started casual conversations. If they gave curt responses and standoffish body language, I politely exited the conversation and moved on.</p><p>By caring less, I succeeded more.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gohlz04?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DancinginAshes</a></p>"That single event..."
<p>Maturity finally caught up with me.</p><p>I had one particularly bad experience with a girl "A" who I think was genuinely interested in me at one point, but I was super awkward and didn't have a clue how to act right, so I never really made a move beyond sad attempts at flirting, and so I think she eventually just thought I was a weirdo who wouldn't leave her alone.</p><p>Then one day we were both in a big group of people just talking and a mutual friend completely out of the blue suggested that A should ask me out, and what followed was possibly the single most uncomfortable moment of my entire life to date. "A" pretty much turned white and she was <em>out of there.</em> I'm sure she believed that I had put our mutual friend up to it. I had not. If anything I was just as horrified.</p><p>That single event shattered my self-confidence so completely that I spent the next year and a half actively avoiding any kind of conversation or interaction with girls, because I had concluded that I must be a Creep and therefore the right thing to do was to protect girls from my Creepiness by isolating myself.</p><p>Eventually, I kind of figured myself out and by my early 20s I was still awkward as hell but I managed to have a couple of relationships and plenty of platonic female friendships.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh3brx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Granxious</a></p>We certainly appreciate all of these candid replies.
<p>Self-reflection is <em>not </em>easy. Self-reflection is difficult and uncomfortable. It's supposed to be. We're happy to see more men out there owning up to their behaviors. It's a relief. Attitudes now are not even the same attitudes of 10 or 20 years ago. The more men come to terms with the reality of how their behavior can and does affect women, the better off we'll be as a society.</p><p><span></span>Have some stories of your own to share? Feel free to sound off in the comments below.</p>Parents Explain Which Things Suprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out
Parenting is a lifelong commitment.
My mother still marvels at how fast I grew up, and I know she was very much taken aback by the (first) time I moved out. I was 20 then and honestly, she would have been fine if I'd stayed indefinitely. Did she ever think, watching me take my first steps, that the years would fly by and that one day she'd be helping me move across the country? I'm sure she did. But that doesn't mean she was entirely prepared.
After Redditor amberarmy1912 asked the online community, "Parents, what surprised you the most when your child moved out?" people shared their stories.
"Or just grabbing something..."
<p>That's hard.</p><p>One thing is how much I do miss my kids. I enjoy them not being here (even more once the last one moves out and my MIL is gone) but I miss the f*** out of them. I was so tired of living in one room (the master bedroom was also my office and I work from home) and I enjoy the extra room, but I hate not stopping by and joking around when I see something weird or funny online. Or just grabbing something I know they like when I am at the store and just kind of dropping it by their room as I go past. All those little things are gone now. I hope they realize how much those little things really meant.</p><p>The other is some of my own personal issues. I want to hear from my kids but I don't want to bother them so I don't contact them as often as I would like. I have never been much of a just shoot-the-s*** person so that hurts me in communications. I see a lot of my dad in me that way, he rarely ever calls me except when there is a death in the family or something. I used to not call him when he worked because I could never remember when it was safe to call.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go07ean?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CrustyBatchofNature</a></p>"The difference..."
<p>The difference between peaceful quiet and sad, lonely quiet.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0381j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">factchecker8515</a></p>My mother told me this...
<p>...after I left. It must have been quite the adjustment.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"The moment our son moved out..."
<p>The moment our son moved out to live on his own he became vegetarian. He never gave us any indication he was planning to or wanted to be vegetarian.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go056ha?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LaoBa</a></p>"I was cooking recipes..."
<p>We have one kid. I was cooking recipes for 6 every night thinking that the portion counts were misleading because we never had any leftovers. Nope. Our grocery bills are now about a third of what they used to be.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0a4kd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">pro_ajumma</a></p>That's always nice!
<p>Tell me: Who doesn't love saving money?</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"I also realized..."
<p>That we talk more now that he lives on his own. We seriously play games at least twice a week for four to six hours. I also realized I was the safe mom that all his friends felt comfortable with. They still call to talk or stop by for a socially distanced catch-up.</p><p>I also realized that my water bill was only a 1/4 of what it used to be. I wasn't imagining the super long showers.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go020yp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">backartigain</a></p>"I found out..."
<p>Mom here. I was worried that I would be sad and heartbroken. I found out that was not the case. I was excited to see where her path took her. It's amazing to see her making her own world and dreams come true. I now have more money, so I travel a lot more.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go09zmu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mindy76131</a></p>"I'm sorry, mom." (From a child.)
<p>How many kitchen utensils you actually need to make basic meals.</p><p>I'm sorry mom. I will never make fun of your crowded cupboards again.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go07ya4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ersin23</a></p>This is so true!
<p>My kitchen cabinets are so cluttered. In a way, I am thankful. I know I am always prepared in the event I want to make something new. It's a great feeling.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"God knows I love them..."
<p>It's an instant pay rise. God knows I love them, but even when they have been working and contributing to the household, me and my wife have still fronted most of the bills and purchases. Going from providing for a family of five to just me and the wife.... let's just say we eat better cuts of meat and our savings accounts have never been healthier.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0guld?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Iloathewinter</a></p>"The possibility to spend much more time..."
<p>The possibility to spend much more time with my wife, which wasn't a surprise, but to sort of rediscover her as the amazing individual I once fell in love with. I never lost sight of it, but the roles of mother and father took up soo much of our time, so our "we"-time had always been on the back-burner (I know I haven't worded this very clearly, but I hope you get what I mean).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0guld?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Iloathewinter</a></p>"They have their own, thoughtful opinions..."
<p>When they move out, they also take a step towards adulthood, which means our relationship also changes for the better. We can take a step away from "parent-child"-relationship to "two people who love and respect each other" and we can talk about many issues much more as equals now. They have their own, thoughtful opinions on many topics, an I love having these discussions because more often than not they'll surprise me with a different perspective, and make me re-think my own opinions.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0guld?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Iloathewinter</a></p>"I'm a dad..."
<p>The dad identity I adopted isn't who I am.</p><p>I'm a dad, but I used to be more than that and still want to be.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go09gkr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wedeservebetter</a></p>That last one hits me something fierce...
<p>...and I'm not even a parent! </p><p>It must be incredibly difficult to accept these kinds of changes after so many years of sacrifice.</p><p>If you'll excuse me, I'll go hug my mom. (Thankfully we've been able to see each other during this pandemic!)</p><p>Have your own stories to share? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>Exam Proctors Describe The Most Elaborate Attempts At Cheating They've Ever Witnessed
Students who have not prepared for an exam somehow have the energy to devise a plan to cheat.
Ploys
<p>These Redditors witnessed answers being relayed to students by an unassuming accomplice.</p><p>While the tactics may have looked good on paper, they failed to fool anyone. <br></p>Using A "Translator"
<p>"At the test center I used to work candidates were allowed to bring a translator of their choice as long as it got approved by the state. Most of the time it was a family member and we would listen in on the conversation using a headset and record it. Once in a while, while replaying the recordings we would hear signals and patterns given by the translator telling the candidate which option to choose. Busted!"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goh177j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Csuz9022</a><br></p>Braiding Hair
<p>"Not an exam proctor, but a student who heard of this afterwards. It was two girls, and the one who knew the answers sat behind the other. During the test, she started braiding the other girl's hair. When the teacher wasn't looking, the one in the front would make a number with her fingers on the side of her thigh (the question), and the other responded by pulling her hair on specific spots (A, B, C, D)."</p><p>"They made a habit of braiding each other's hair everyday days before the exam so the teacher wouldn't find it weird. I was the goody two shoes who never cheated, but even I had to respect them."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohx322?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Leticia_the_bookworm</a><br></p>Notes To Self
<p>Some students used their own bodies to scribble down the answers – including on thighs, arms, and even mixed among freckles.</p><p>All that work disguising the answers could have been spent on studying.</p><p>Yet, here we are. <br></p>Notes On Thighs
<p>"I'm not an examiner but my mate once wrote out loads of notes on his thighs then went to the toilet during the exam- the examiner led him to the toilet to check the cubicle out first etc then waited to listen for papers rustling etc. He wasn't very smart but that could well be the smartest idea he's ever come up with. Absolutely do not condone though!"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goguirq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sophloopyP</a><br></p>Camouflage With Freckles
<p>"I have a lot of freckles on my arm, which would turn lighter if I put pressure on the skin, which gave me an idea. If I used a marker with a similar color as my freckles, I could make dots that formed letters or numbers, and when I pressed my arm just right, the freckles would fade for a second or two, but the ink would remain dark. Couldn't write a lot like this, but enough for notes on more difficult concepts. Never got caught."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohqb1h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">FourRosesVII</a><br></p>Two "BUSTED" Students
<p>"Not a proctor but I witnessed two students get caught cheating while we were taking exams."</p><p>"One girl wore cheap/thin leggings that were slightly too tight. When she sat down, they would stretch out further and would basically become see-through over her thighs. She had a bunch of equations written on her thighs that one of the proctors noticed as they walked around the testing room. BUSTED."</p><p>"One guy had a bunch of stuff written on the insides of his arms, near his wrists . He wore a long-sleeved shirt that he would pull up/down. One of the proctors noticed him messing with it across the room and had him pull his sleeves up. BUSTED."</p><p>"Don't cheat, kids. You really don't want to have to explain to future employers or grad schools why you have an academic suspension or worse on your transcript."</p>Tricks Up My Sleeve
<p>Instead of relying on accomplices or their own flesh canvases, the following students devised ingenious ways to cheat. </p><p>One proctor was astonished while watching one particular student who, like a magician, produced slips of paper from "everywhere."</p>Printing Personalized Labels
<p>"I knew a guy who would make his own labels for soda/water bottles, but change the nutrition info to be useful equations for the test. The labels' material was identical to regular ones, even down to the gloss of the paper. Seems like if he spent the time studying, instead of making perfect labels for cheating, he wouldn't need the labels in the first place." </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goi5cta?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Helldiver-xzoen</a><br></p>So 2020
<p>"My friend came up with the realization that you can slip a paper into your mask and then pull it to see what you wrote."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gogvb4u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Disposable_baka404</a><br></p>The Pen
<p>"In high school, circa 1996, I somehow obtained the answers to a 20 question test. I proceeded to go to the computer lab and type the answers and then printed them in size 3 font. Then I cut them out and taped them on one side of a white Bic pen. During the test I could roll the pen so the answers weren't visible, and then when I need to look I could tilt the pen slightly and see the answer. I missed two on purpose so the teacher wouldn't figure I cheated."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohmm4p?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Flip17</a><br></p>So Many Slips Of Paper
<p>"Guy came in to sit an exam (along with one or two dozen others), wearing an eyepatch and with one arm in a sling with a prosthetic hand. Pretty unusual, but whatever. But I got suspicious when he started fiddling with his eyepatch, pulling it way away from his face and then putting it back. So I pressed the button on my desk that turns the cameras on (not sure why they didn't just record all the time, but this was back in the mid-eighties). I wasn't actually supposed to intervene in these cases, so I just sat there and watched, astounded, as this guy proceeded to pull little slips of paper from all over the place -- the sleeve of his supposedly injured arm, <em>under his tongue</em>... incredible. I don't know how he fooled himself into thinking nobody would notice."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goiemw8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">super_aardvark</a><br></p>Sometimes the things that come out of peoples' mouths are truly astounding. It makes you wonder, where did things go wrong? Why are they like this? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does".
Here are a few of the most jaw-dropping lay stupid things that have been said by actual human beings. Not aliens trying to figure out how humans communicate--ACTUAL human beings. Thanks, Reddit.
U/cperr310 asked: What's the dumbest thing you or someone you know has said?
First up, what better people to hear ridiculous claims from than children? Here are some people that even teachers couldn’t help.
Well, that’s awkward.
I was in 5th grade like 20 years ago, and I am a male which is important later. My school changed an extra girls locker room into a computer lab. When my class got to go check it out, I say "wow, it looks so different!".
Everyone looks at me like I'm a creep. What I meant to say was "wow it looks so different that the boys locker room!" I still think about this when trying to fall asleep more often than I'm comfortable with.
....no. No it’s not.
In my Spanish class where they were talking about Spanish countries
"What about Syria...isn't Syria Spanish?"
Worst part... NOBODY called her out on it to the point I was questioning myself. The professor had good English but it wasn't her first language and she dodged her question saying she's only going over countries in south america. I had to literally write myself a note that she literally asked that question. Then I got paired up with her like 10 minutes later for a group activity and I still wasn't over this question lol
Fake but also real but also demonic?
A kid in high school tried to convince me that men had an extra rib and that the earth is only a few thousand years old. Same kid said that ouija boards were full of magnets and gears which made them fake, yet they were simultaneously completely real and needed to be burned on sight to prevent demonic possession.
But sometimes it’s the parents of children who say the dumb stuff.
Back in 2014 I still vividly remember we were eating dinner, and my brother is chewing with his mouth open while my sister is talking. My dad, still thinking about her talking but talking to my brother said "Talk with your mouth closed." and my sister just went silent immediately.
Stupid can turn into ignorant really quickly. Here are a few examples of the not-so-harmless kind of dumb statements.
Fun fact: they don’t use the US Constitution in New Zealand. Who knew?
After the church shooting in New Zealand, they banned guns. My coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the second amendment. We live in California.
Everyone knows New Zealand is the state below New Canada.
Uhhhhh that’s racist af.
Not to me but my husband.
He had to take an uber home from the Naval Base in San Diego (car was getting fixed) and the guy who picked my husband up was from Pakistan and they had small talk, telling him how he moved over here etc, dude was pretty cool.
My dumbass half sister whom we were staying with for a bit told him straight to his face, "Oh since you're military he probably wanted to like... murder you."
...What a f*cking ignorant, racist thing to say.
Just gonna leave this one here....
"And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, because you see it gets in the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that out."
Well that’s a new one.
A trans friend got "You're registered as a man here, so I need to hear a male voice to complete the verification of your acount."
Not the first time the cable company pulled this 'female' account 'female' voice / 'male' account 'male' voice crap. But that one time was on a whole other level.
But most of the time, dumb statements are harmless, and make for a good story down the line.
I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face either.
A few questions I've heard come to mind, I'm not sure which is the best/worst.
A few years ago my mom, in her 60s at the time, asked me if chipmunks grow up to be squirrels. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face while explaining to the grown-ass woman who was responsible for keeping you alive for ~18 years that chipmunks and squirrels are different animals?
In high school during a Spanish class as student asked "Do Spanish-speaking people think in Spanish?" After being told yes, her follow-up question was "Are they born speaking Spanish?" The teacher kept a straight face explaining that foreign language speakers learn their language the same as the student learned English, but there were a lot of other students laughing and brutally mocking her.
Ah yes, the two types of guitars.
Dumbest thing I ever asked was, "do you prefer playing electric or air guitar?" I really meant to say acoustic, like my dad's.
Air guitar. I don't know how to play the acoustic or electric guitars, but I never get a wrong note on the air guitar.
Did you change your birthday?
At the bank.
Teller: Is your phone number still 123-4567?
Me: Yes
T: Is your address still 123 Easy st?
M: Yes
T: Is your birthday still 01/01/2000?
M: laughing I sure as hell hope so
I can't even make fun of these. One time I asked my husband where the Newport Ferry sailed to.
Newport, obviously.
I think we all have slip-ups in our brains sometimes. It's part of being human, and hey, they stay alive as inside jokes for generations to come