People Explain What People Think Is Quite Common But Is Actually Extremely Rare
A lot of what we think of as "common occurrences" most likely come through word of mouth.
Stories told from a friend of a friend who knew someone who has a guy who set them up with this extremely rare piece of jewelry that's totally authentic.
Until you find out it's not.
Reddit user, BroodyBatman, wanted to know what's rarer than we might have given it credit for when they asked:
"What’s something very rare that people think is very common?"
Going with the "word of mouth" idea, anecdotal stories, as well as "it happened to them so it could happen to you" type stories can be detrimental to your life, especially if you spend all day thinking it might happen to you.
No, no one is going to sue you for parking in their space.
Every Jewel Trade Everywhere Show Are Liars!
"Turquoise!"
"I'm beginning study to be a jewelsmith and apparently most of the turquoise on the planet has already been mined and used."
"What we use today is a stone called howlite that can visually imitate it."
"If it's real it's likely hand-mined from the few small mines remaining that have some left."
"Real turquoise is very expensive as a result."- Phantasmai
"Yep, same goes for real jade too. The real stuff is expensive and hard to find."
"Most cheap “jade” is aventurine, glass, resin, serpentine or some other kind of stone."
"A lot of jade is also injected with resin and dyed to get the clear, pale-green effect."
"I wanted to buy a jade bangle and did a ton of research and found that the real ones cost at least a few grand with the nice ones being tens of thousands, if not more."
"Also, pretty much all 'jade' facial rollers are not real jade, most are either glass, resin or serpentine, which they like to call 'Xiuyan Jade' because it is found in jade mines but isn’t real jade."- Urban_mist
You're Not Suing For What You Think You're Suing For
"Multimillion dollar personal inconvenience lawsuits."
"You’re not suing McD for millions because your fries were cold."- JK_NC
"And, many times, these lawsuits that are “personal inconvenience” are actually intense lawsuits disguised as inconvenience by the company."
"One example of this is the woman who sued McDonald’s for her coffee being too hot, which seems like an inconvenience, until you realize the coffee was so hot it burned her down to the bone."- imonlyjoiningforthis
Don't Do It For The Fame. Do It Because You Like It.
"Making it big on Youtube/Twitch"- Legenberry817
"Yeah that one guy you watch who “only” has 100-200 viewers on twitch is actually in the top 1% or something lmao it’s crazy"- michael_am
Medical marvels are just that, marvels.
They're rare occurrences that shouldn't be taken as an absolute certainty when you go visit a doctor.
"Anecdotal" does not equal "regularly happens to everyone."
If You Need It, It's Going To Be Rough
"Receiving CPR and surviving with good quality of life."- HelloKidney
"One of my good friends had sudden cardiac arrest due to V-fib."
"Was completely healthy and normal and suddenly dropped dead."
"CPR saved her life and she is back to normal, albeit with a defibrillator now implanted in her chest."
"I think this is the best case scenario."- libertarianlove
Movies Have You Thinking The Wrong Thing
"Photosensitive epilepsy."
"Only 3% of all epileptics are triggered by flashing lights, but it’s what most people think of when you mention seizures."-SPRINT_MON
"Not all seizures are the kind where you fall down and flop around."
"My brother has severe epilepsy, and most of his seizures are just like he's really spaced out."- NeedsMoreTuba
Not As Loud As You Might Think
"Tourette syndrome."
"Well Tourette is not that uncommon, but the swearing is the most extreme form and it's very uncommon"- chinchenping
""I've only met one person I know for sure was diagnosed with it."
"It was in middle school and also somewhat conveniently around the time Tourettes Guy was popular on YouTube, so that's the only reason I was aware Tourettes was a thing."
"However she just squeaked every few minutes, and after sitting behind her for a week or two I didn't even notice anymore."
"Thankfully she didn't get teased at all for it, and honestly my ADHD restless legs were probably a bigger distraction for anyone seated near us."- workplacetemp
Our parents mean well, right?
Some of us grew up doing what they told us, avoiding dangers because the television told them there was danger to be avoided.
However, as the internet and peering through the veil of falsehood has shown us, there's no danger there.
Only lies.
And candy.
Let's Get Together, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
"It seem having two loving parents that treated you right is rare when you speak to people"- YellowStar012
"When I was in University my step mom turned sour and began showing post-partum depression, what ever it’s called, and bi-polar disorder. Ruined the entire family."
"When I complained about fighting at home all my friends looked at me and said it was super normal for them."
"Blew me away how many of my friends I’ve known for years had parents constantly fighting and bickering."
"Granted my father raised my brother and I for a while by himself."- JJHookg
Oh No! They Slipped A Fully Loaded Glock Into My Kid's Candy!
"Intentionally tainted Halloween candy"
". Remember growing up some kids couldn't trick or treat because their parents feared psychos who poisoned the candy or slipped razor blades into the tootsie rolls or whatever?"
"Yeah, as far as I can determine it's a myth and never happens."
"If it did, think about how easy it would be to trace and capture said person."- Marxbrosburner
Stranger/More-Likely-Person-You-Know Danger!
"Child abductions by strangers."
"Growing up in the 80s we were taught that if you were by yourself you were liable to be snatched up by a stranger."
"The reality is most abductions are by people the child knows."
"Stranger abductions make the news and often end tragically, but they’re relatively rare."- AndShesNotEvenPretty
That Stuff Was Supposed To Be Everywhere
"As a kid who grew up in the 80’s - quicksand."- 81PBNJ
"Grew up in the 90s and same!"
"But then I was hired at my current job and quicksand was actually included in my hazard training."
"It turns out there is actually some quicksand at some of my jobsites."
"All those hours of cartoons have prepared me for this!"- butterpuppo
So Sad, But So True...
"COMMON SENSE!"- UPGRADE007
Level Your Expectations
"When a celebrity tells you to just follow your dreams as if it will actually happen if they work hard and believe."- saltyredditbae
Won't Stop People From Looking For It
"Wuv. Twue wuv."- the13Guat
"Real love."
"Like I’m not gonna cheat I just want my partner love."- ghhvyjiiijgv
More Like The American Nightmare
"The American Dream."
"It's a shame Americans are brought up to think if you just work hard, all your work will be for a purpose."
"That purpose is uncle Sam and to barely pay you enough to force you to always come back."
"Uncle Sam is the biggest drug dealer."- Chronodro
"The ability to afford to live in solidarity."- Burssia
Someone Else's Reality
"Dreaming about the lives of others without being yourself in the dream."
"I have very vivid dreams and some of them have been full on life stories of people I've never met, but when I ask about other people's experiences I've only met one other person so far who dreams of the lives of other people."
"It's so strange."- novaboros
Pick A Hand, Any Hand!
"I’m not ambidextrous, but whenever I bring that word up people seem to think it’s pretty common."- bagpipesfart
They've Got To Be Out There Somewhere
"A good person that likes you for who you are."- NoBueno07
"A solid group of people/friends you’ve known for years."- SoberSeldom
Obviously, keep your eyes up because there are real dangers out there.
However, don't fall for propaganda meant to make you fear something that has such a low likelihood of happening that getting struck by lightning feels more likely.
Aside from picking up a family member who is finally going home or going to experience the birth of a child, most trips to the hospital aren't usually ones to look forward to.
When you're a patient being admitted, chances are, an accident or a bad decision has led you there.
With medical professionals witnessing a garden variety of cases, there must be some cases that surely stuck out in their minds.
"What is the strangest reason you ended up in a hospital?"
There were things you just don't see coming.
Must've Been Quite The Cough
"I coughed and broke 2 ribs."
– BearJewKnowsBest
Bad Plumbing
"Noticed at some point in my early 20s that fluid leaked out of my belly button."
"Thought it might be a pimple or a small cyst and waited it out, but it was still leaking like two weeks after."
"Went to my GP and he examined it, stuck a q tip in my belly button, smelled it and was like 'in my XY year long career I've maybe seen two or three cases of this in adults... Usually this is diagnosed in infants and it gets fixed then....'"
"What he diagnosed was a 'urachal fistula' a tract between belly button and the... yep, bladder..."
"I had pee dripping out of my belly button... nice."
"He called one of the chief surgeons he knew and is befriended with and got me an exam at the hospital the next day."
"The chief surgeon and multiple residents examed me - they were unsure because this usually doesn't occur in adults. In the end we agreed on surgery, because whatever it is, it needs to be fixed."
"And in the end, it indeed was a urachal fistula..."
"Not a life threatening condition in and of itself, but a risk to nasty infections and a higher risk of cancer long term - also pee dripping out of your belly button, duuhh.."
"Had to have surgery a few years later again, because the fistula reformed (known risk) but since then I haven't had any problems. :)"
– 6800ultra
Gutted
"I dropped a ceramic chef’s knife and it bounced off the counter and stabbed me in the stomach. It took longer to convince the medical staff and social worker (I am a disabled veteran) that my SO didn’t stab me, than it took to close the wound."
– LordInventus
Things happen, but these could've been preventable.
Expensive Ride
"I got the tip of a Q-Tip stuck in my ear and my roommate at the time went to pull it out with a pair of tweezers and hit a nerve or messed with my equilibrium or something and I passed out. She freaked out and called 911 and I woke up in the ER. Was absolutely fine until a couple weeks later when I got a $2k bill for an ambulance ride that was literally down the block."
– Equivalent-War-2378
Toy Cut
"Lacerated scrotum after getting it stuck in a PEZ dispenser."
– BurlHead
Playing Stupid Games
"Was chasing chickens for no apparent reason and caught my shoulder on a piece of sheet metal. 38 stitches."
– cabllc
Kitchen Hazard
"Cut my wrist on the cutter thing on a box of Saran Wrap. They had a counselor come and make sure I wasn’t suicidal. 'No. I was wrapping ham.'”
– Sasquadtch
The body works in mysterious ways.
When The Body Fails
"Had a ct scan… 1 hour later the guy called and told me to go the hospital now. Rock up to the ER with a swelling in my neck, pushing on my jugular vein, vomiting, headaches, severe pain in collar bone neck area. After days of blood test and blood cultures I got a diagnosis of some rare as f'k severe illness called 'Lemierre’s syndrome caused by the anaerobic bacterium, fusobacterium necrophorum' and I also had necrotizing fasciitis in my neck from the really bad case of tonsillitis I had 2 weeks prior that spread beyond the infected site. Got straight into the ER, practically no wait in the ER .I ended up with septic shock, Blood pressure was super low. 70/60. never felt a thirst like it. Got 5L of fluids within the first couple hours( mind you I’m only 47kg) I couldn’t pass urine, ended up with a catheter. Stayed in hospital for 5 days and left with a PICC line in my arm. Had 4 weeks of intravenous antibiotics 24 hours a day, had to carry and sleep with a little bag to hold my antibiotics. Had a nurse visit me every day for 4 weeks. Worst part about it is I didn’t even want to go to the hospital and I thought I’d be fine to just sleep it off. If you feel so sick you feel like you’re slowly dying you probably are."
– Low-Promise1628
Intense Cinema
"Saw Mel Gibson's Apocalypto in the theatre. Movie stressed me out soon much i fainted or had a seizure. The date I was with apperently freaked out and she started screaming that Im not breathing. Two solid guys carried me out. Ambulance was called... my date was a doctor lol"
– eduwhat
No wonder why medical dramas on TV have no shortage of ideas when it comes to featuring bizarre cases involving patients.
They're most likely inspired by real-life hospital situations.
Kudos to all the medical staff who've seen it all and still manage not to pass out like yours truly, who gets very light-headed at the sight of blood from a pricked finger.
Yes, I had blood drawn from finger when I was a kid and I passed out.
I eventually woke up in a hospital bed with a bandage wrapped around my head after I apparently fell off the chair and landed on my forehead.
That's one way I was kind of admitted to the hospital. Not a strange reason at all. Just a a really embarrassing one.
People Reveal The Advice They'd Give To Someone Who's Dating Their Ex
The dating scene can be really tough, and obviously one of the most difficult elements is going to be the breaking up period.
For this reason, some Redditors shared the advice they would give to someone who had only just begun to date one of their ex partners.
Redditor drifterdodger asked:
"What advice would you give the person dating your ex?"
Last But Certainly Not Least
"Which one? For most, I would just say I hope it works out better for you than it did me, but for one of them, I'd tell you to treat her like a princess because she deserves the best."
- Rogukast1177
Mistakes Were Made
"Treat him well because he will treat you better than you have ever known. Make him laugh because he’ll make you laugh like you’ve never known."
"Let him hold the door open for you, he really wants to. Hold him back when he holds you and don’t let go."
"Don’t make the mistakes I did."
- abastreusmonzuzu
Be Communicative
“She’s wonderful, you’re the luckiest man alive. Treat her with all the love and respect she deserves. Make her feel safe, secure, loved, and desired."
"Take it from me, don’t project. Work on yourself if necessary so that you don’t pass that on to her and hurt her in any way. And if you do hurt her, talk to her, communicate, talk about it, and don’t keep it all in."
"Just be kind and loving, put yourself out there, and fight alongside her, not with her."
- iceman_x2
Fun in the Kitchen
"She’s a great cook, so if you’re a foodie, then inquire about all sorts of exotic stuff you want to try. She’ll probably make it for you."
- Whowhatwhynguyen
Underlying Insecurity
"Understand that when she says she hopes you have fun hanging out with your friends, she is actually furious that you decided to be with them instead of her, no matter how many consecutive nights you’ve spent together."
"This will then lead to her imagining several ridiculous and unrealistic scenarios of what you are 'actually doing,' which will then likely lead to her having a panic attack, and you will then need to leave whatever you are doing that night to go to her house and try to calm her down."
"So yeah, aside from that minor issue, she’s great."
- Godsfavorite_sinner
Rating: Zero Stars
"Flee. Get away, far away. Change your number, name, appearance, possibly gender."
- Expensive_Rhubarb_87
Would Not Recommend
"Just, don't."
- steppinonp**sclams
Secret's Out
"Check her phone once in a while. She’s cheated on you with pretty much every guy she’s ever met, and with every one of her exes, regularly."
- theronsharma
Textbook Ex Material
"As narcissists will, she will make you feel important. Once you are hooked, then she will manipulate you to bend your will. You will never live up to her expectations, so you will be seen as not a priority."
"Lastly, the sex is meh and I always thought she felt dirty by doing it, so that’s why we stopped."
- Fanabala3
Healing Time May Vary
"She needs to fix herself. She never gave herself time to heal and looks for healing in others instead of working on herself."
"She’s kind and good-hearted, but needs healing."
- EveSixxx
They're Just Hangry
"You can end arguments with food."
- heinous_nutsack
Sudden Heartbreak
"She loves steak but is scared of steak knives."
"She dislikes pork despite growing up in a region famous for its cuisine. Bacon is okay."
"If she falls asleep during the movie, let her lean onto your shoulder. She likes that."
"She can be quite funny with Facebook messenger text stickers but prepare for a shy and sweet person in real life."
"She loves to share her culture (mainland Chinese) and wants to learn about American culture so be well educated in Western sciences, arts, and history to answer her questions and equally eager to learn about hers."
"Take small steps literally. She was only 5'-0" with shoes and does not like a brisk pace."
"If it doesn't work out in person or things happen to where she had to go back to her homeland, don't expect a long-distance relationship. One day the messages do stop coming and your heart will break."
- playingwithechoes
Nostalgia Hurts
"If she's angry, buy her some chicken nuggets and milk tea."
"If she's sad, go to her house and make some instant noodles for her."
"If she's happy, well... good job, my friend."
"Make sure she drinks lots of water because she usually forgets to, make sure you play with her hair, and make sure to hold her hand whilst you're driving."
"Make sure to always say good morning to her, make sure that you prioritize her, make sure you give her lots of attention, and make sure you love her more than I did."
"I'm not crying, you are."
- fattyboomba123
Depends on the Ex
"Usually, I'd say run, but since it's the a**hat they cheated on me with (knowingly), I'd say: you deserve each other so go to h**l holding hands; I wouldn't want you to get lost on the way."
"To the other ex's partner: You are privileged to be loved by such an amazing and kind-hearted person, so hold on to and nourish this relationship to the best of your abilities, and hopefully it will make you both happy to the end of your days."
- gaylordtheblue
Call Anytime
"Take care of him. And if you ever decide to leave him, call me, I'll be there to pick him up."
- dreamingbabes
Usually when people think of talking about exes, the horror stories are usually the first to come to mind.
Fortunately for these Redditors, there were easily as many sweet and nostalgic stories as there were problematic ones.
Money is one of those things that many people find themselves wanting more of, simply for the sake of security and safety.
But for those who have money in multitudes, it's almost baffling how willingly they will throw large quantities of it away.
Already cringing, Redditor DefinitelyNot203Eels asked:
"What is the most egregious display of wealth you've ever personally seen?"
Unique Employment Opportunity
"I have a friend who was employed by a very famous old pop star. She lived on-site in his mansion (which itself was a very cute cottage) and was paid more than I am with no rent or bills for said cottage."
"Her job? To open the curtains of his bedroom in the mornings, put on classical music, and gently wake him up for the day."
"That sounds sexual, but it wasn't sexual; it was more like, 'Hey, hey big star, I know you're still sleepy but it's time to get up,' etc."
- princessflubcorn
Flaunting Cars
"My boss who owns his own plane likes to do s**t like flaunt the keys to his cars... Like, flick them round up close to the camera on a call to show off the logo."
"I think it really bugs him that I don't 'ooh' and 'aah' because I don't give a f**k about fancy cars."
"What does p**s me off is that there's an item I brought after much saving, and it means a lot to me. He heard about it and just went and brought two so he could comment about it."
- 10191AG
Her Annual Salary
"The company owner got a divorce, went on a shopping spree, and showed a receipt for tens of thousands of dollars to our receptionist as a way of showing off."
"What he spent was 80% of what she makes in a year. She was really uncomfortable and brought it to me as the HR (Human Resources) person."
- b***himgandalf
A Yacht for Your Yacht
"The first time I saw a support vessel, I was blown away."
"It's a yacht that accompanies your main yacht, and it stores your toys in its garage, it houses some of your staff, stores your supplies, etc."
- Eafeaturerequest
The "Just in Case" Staff
"I once met a woman while I was living in Singapore who was a full-time live-aboard chef for a super rich European who had several vessels, but only took a holiday on the one she worked on maybe once a year, but sometimes even more seldom."
"A full staff lived aboard full time, year-round, just in case this guy wanted to board, in which case they would sail to the port where he wanted them to pick him up."
- kiki_deli
The Biggest Cabin of Them All
"I worked in construction project management. We were building a log cabin for a very wealthy individual using western redwood. We had the piles, and foundation in place, the first floor completed, and about 25% done building the second floor."
"The largest base width of the redwood logs we were using was 44 feet, and the two-story fireplace that included 12 hearths was clad in architectural stone."
"The owner found out that the owner of a car dealership on the other side of the lake had just completed his log cabin with the largest logs being 46 feet in width. The owner got one of his employees to sneak onto the property at night and take measurements of the logs to confirm they were in fact bigger than the logs on his cabin."
"Once it was confirmed that the logs across the lake were bigger, he instructed us to take apart what has already been built, and source new, bigger logs with the smallest log being no less than 48 feet in width."
"He also instructed us to remove the architectural stone from the fireplace and replace them with actual stones. This required us to modify the foundation, as the weight of the fireplace increased by 1500%."
"After about 1.5 years, with no limit on overtime spending, the cabin was completed, with the largest log being 68 feet in width, and smallest being 48 feet."
"I ran into the car dealership owner at the lake town market one day and told him about the cabin we were building and how we had to pretty much start from scratch due to the size of his logs (and my boss's ego)."
"He simply replied, 'I had no idea your boss even owned a cabin here.'"
- ExaminationDouble240
So Humbling
"I had an amazing side gig instructing tech nerds how to drive their fancy cars at the racetrack (it's called an 'HPDE' or a High-Performance Driving Event)."
"A rich tech nerd shows up with a new McLaren 12C, delivered in a McLaren trailer and staffed by an entire crew of McLaren techs and engineers."
"Why?"
"The driver was complaining about how the $12k brakes would burn up after just one day at the track and escalated enough for McLaren to wonder if something was terribly wrong with the car."
"After one session, he huddled around a laptop with the engineers and found what was wrong: he was just that terrible of a driver."
- incomplete_
If You've Got It, Spend It
"A dude just kept grabbing stuff and having me ring it up. At first, I was like, 'You sure?' Then it eventually clicked that this guy was on a shopping spree."
"The shop had no human necessities. I don't remember the total by the end but it was close to 5 figures in USD."
"He pulled out his black AMEX that weighs like a pound and boom, a mile-long receipt."
"That was one of the few days I wished I made commissions."
- blippityblop
Rent Potential
"When I worked at Blue, Justin Beiber spent a stupid amount of money just to ski. He tried to rent the whole resort to make it private, but they wouldn't let him (which I still think is hilarious)."
"This area also has dozens of houses that are all valued well over $10 million, that all sit empty. They're just buildings that billionaires bought on a whim."
- stonedfishing
A Library Belle Would Envy
"I'm a custom metal worker. We did the penthouse at the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan, off of Central Park (the owner lived there). The floors were made of titanium plates."
"The wife had her own massive library and we had to make a rolling staircase that an old woman could move. We did, and it cost $80,000."
"We delivered it and she said, 'It’s too steep, can you make another?'"
"$80,000 later, she’s happy, and my buddy has a rolling staircase at his workshop."
- Denki
Holy Mansions, Batman
"I once toured a mansion under construction in Dallas that was about 45,000 square feet. It was about 80% complete when I visited and the interior finishes were amazing."
"When I was there, the artisans were hand-carving the front door details and the indoor-outdoor pool was being tiled."
"There was a bowling alley, a gift-wrapping room, a two-story master bedroom closet with a spiral staircase, and other over-the-top amenities including a ten-car garage with an oil change bay."
"Shortly after I was there, it burned down under mysterious circumstances, and its demise made the national news and a cover story in the Wall Street Journal."
- centexgoodguy
Wasteful Living
"A kid in my daughter's sorority drives a 2022 Lamborghini Urus. Every time I've visited my daughter, I see this car."
"It's filthy and covered in dings and scratches. My daughter says the owner has had it towed repeatedly by leaving it parked illegally in the street even though she has a space at the sorority."
"She'll just leave it on the street near the bars, Uber home when drunk, abandon the car until it gets impounded, and then pay to get her car back. Basically every weekend."
"In addition, my daughter says this girl's room is full of designer stuff that the girl bought for tens of thousands of dollars, wore once, and then threw on the floor."
"I should note that there are apparently several girls in this sorority with similar lifestyles."
- hiro111
It's Just a Parking Fee
"My boss had to impromptu get a new license to travel. When he was at the DMV, they said he had to pay like $100k in back parking tickets. He just set a card down and paid it."
"Apparently, he couldn't get a parking permit to be able to park in front of his house for some bulls**t reason, so he just parked there anyway, and just accepted that they were ticketing him like $100 per day for years."
- melodyze
Respectful Tipper
"I work at a Zipline in Hawaii. One time we had a couple of people come in, and one of them was a Saudi prince."
"Any time someone helped, or even talked to him, he had his 'assistant' count out hundred-dollar bills and give them to them. He tipped his guides $3000 a piece. It was wild."
- Jorjott
Paying It Forward
"While at a breakfast place I went to a lot in my hometown, I went to pay for my meal, and the waitress was like, 'Don't worry, it is covered.'"
"The next day, I went back. Once again, my meal was covered."
"Repeat for the rest of a week, and I was baffled."
"Apparently, some rich dude liked his breakfast a week ago and bought all orders for the following week and tipped all the staff $10k to keep it a secret and to cover the loss of tips for the week."
"It was a small mom-and-pop shop, but that still has to have cost him 100k or something. For a meal."
"There was intentionally no hype, and the other regulars and I were never told who it was."
- GoodRighter
While there were a few kind and generous people among the fold, the Reddit community could not believe the amount of money many people would spend simply because they could, even in support of bad habits, like terribly wasteful spending.
Having money certainly doesn't buy you manners or values.
People Break Down Which Things Everyone Should Know Before Getting Into A Relationship
Let's face it, being single is tough for a lot of us, especially when there's a special occasion coming up or all of our closest friends and family are in relationships while we're alone.
But the Reddit community wanted to remind the singles out there that there's more to think about in starting a new relationship than just feeling those butterflies.
Redditor Huge-Tackle-2152 asked:
"What is something everyone should know before getting into a relationship?"
Actions Above Words
"Love is an action and a choice. You need to make the choice to love someone you’re in a relationship with by showing that love to them."
"Love isn’t just the romantic feelings you have for someone. You have to actually 'do' love."
- eeo11
It's a Two-Way Street
"Not only are you getting a partner, but you also need to BE one, as well."
"Many people want to be in a relationship because they want someone, but they are not ready to actually be a partner, as well."
- BlockOfTheYear
Be Communicative
"Communication. If you're not communicating, then you're never going to be on the same page about anything, fights will never end, and problems will keep festering and come back to bite the both of you, etc."
- Codaxic
Argue Mindfully
"How you fight is important. It is so easy to hurt someone once you are close to them and you can't unsay things."
- Headgh
Accept the Dealbreakers
"Accept the other person as they are. You won’t be able to change them or who they are at their core, which means that if there’s something about them that’s a dealbreaker for you, don’t expect that it will ever change."
"Take that as your cue to leave or not start dating."
- eeo11
Accept Yourself, Too
"If you're pretending to be someone you aren't to get into the relationship, it's not going to work."
"You gotta cast your net a little further. There's a difference between putting yourself out there and pretending to be into s**t you secretly hate to land a partner."
- Vegan_Harvest
Not Everyone Is Your Person
"Don't chase someone who has made it abundantly clear they do not want you. If someone is interested in you, there won't be any confusion. It will be cut and clear."
"If you find yourself trying to change fundamental parts of who you are, to be what someone needs, that's not your person."
- LilRedChefInTheHood
You May Be the Problem
"Nobody is perfect, not even you. If you think someone is perfect, you are lying to yourself."
"If you think you are perfect, you are lying to yourself and everyone else. (And they are tired of your pompous bulls**t.)"
- RedIcarus1
Your Happiness, Your Responsibility
"If you think the other person’s job is to MAKE you happy, everyone is going to have a bad time."
"Of course, you can and should contribute to each other's happiness, but the individual must choose positivity and levity and work on their inner demons. No other people can achieve that for you."
- AnnoyinglyEarnest
Oops.
"Lust isn't love."
- TOMTEXOMA
Be Honest About Your Intentions
"Here’s one based on a painful experience of mine. If you’re not looking for a relationship and only want a f**k buddy, don’t pretend you want a relationship just to keep getting someone’s attention."
"You’ve wasted their time and will negatively impact their ability to have a relationship in the future."
- SectorZed
Don't Compromise on the Important Things
"But don’t compromise on your deal breakers or hope you can change someone. You should find someone who is compatible with you on the big things: what kind of life you want, if you want kids, how you handle disagreements, how you handle money, etc."
"Also, learn what common red flags for abuse are in relationships. Don’t compromise on those."
- ShimmeringShips
The Relationship Has More than Two People
"Have you met their family and friends?"
"Once you form a relationship, family and friends come along for the ride."
- Back2Bach
They Won't All Work Out
"Sometimes it’s just not worth fighting for. Relationships have hard times. But it shouldn’t ALWAYS be a hard time."
"Sometimes you just have to accept your energies don’t align and move on to allow yourself true happiness."
- Timeless_Clock_13
But Sometimes It's Worth It
"Love is a choice. You can be mad, you can be sad, you can be frustrated with your life, and it might reflect on your perspective of the other person, you might not even feel 'in love' at that moment, but you can always choose to love them."
"And usually, it's worth it."
- perunch
While the subReddit could admit that relationships can be pretty great, there are many considerations that go into committing to it.
From staying true to ourselves, to connecting to the other people in our partner's life, there's much more to love than romantic dates.