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Police Officers Reveal The Most Ridiculous Situations They've Gotten Into On Halloween

Police Officers Reveal The Most Ridiculous Situations They've Gotten Into On Halloween

intro

I'm not a police officer, but my grandpa was.

He has all kinds of cop stories, but only one Halloween one:

They pulled over and talked to some teenagers that were obviously troublemakers. After questioning them, asking the standard questions, he realized they all had eggs in their pants. He asked them casually if they had anything that could cause trouble in their pockets. They denied it. Following this, he said, "Ok, so you won't mind if I do this-" and heavily patted down their legs, smashing the eggs and letting them all run down their legs into their shoes.

watchpigsfly

I'm an EMT sitting in the booking area of a county jail right now. Tonight isn't too bad so far, but I'm sure it will get worse. Last year we had a guy come in dressed as Satan that the officer's had to fight, and during the whole ordeal he was screaming, "FUCK YOUR COUCH! FUCK YOUR COUCH!" Good times. I'll be updating this comment every so often with things that happen tonight. I'll be here until 7:00 am MST.

2342: Crying drunk obese lady came in. No real problems with her, just a hysterical Hispanic with eyeliner running down her face.

0004: A Russian couple just walked in. Both are really drunk, just like good Russians. They also have heavy Russian accents and are talking very loudly. This could get good soon.

0012: Russian wife just slapped Russian husband, but none of the officers saw. That would not have ended well if the officers saw that. Looks like she got off easy this time. It will probably happen again though.

0056: Russian couple was separated. Russian bromandude wasn't too happy and was insisting he had diplomatic immunity. Russian lady is sleeping now. No real good costumes have come in. Just a guy dressed as an original gangster in a zoot suit (thanks ragdoll32). Lots of people dressed as homeless individuals, but I don't think it's anything special for Halloween.

0123: This Halloween is not as amusing as last years, so I'll tell another story from last year. A guy came in dressed as a magician. When the officers were searching him, they found one of those multi-colored cloths that go on forever up his sleeve. It was pretty funny to see him pull on it for what seemed like forever.

0159: Just got a call saying a combative person was about 5 minutes out. I'll update when he/she comes in. Also, this last person I was talking to had so much to drink it burned my eyes out of my skull just from his breath. It's very hard to type blind.

0206: Sorry to have to kill your spirits, but the combative female calmed down and didn't need any help getting to a cell. Now my coworker adam1330 is rubbing it in my face that he can leave the compound and I can't due to staffing restrictions. Fuck his couch.

0233: Nothing to report at this time. I'm pretty bummed out about this Halloween. It's not as eventful as last year's.

0249: I'll tell another story from last year. A guy came in dressed as an inmate for Halloween. When he first walked in, we thought he had escaped and the Cop had caught an AWOL guy. After doing a very thorough headcount of the jail (about 2,000 inmates) we realized it was a costume.

0301: I always get the occasional smartass who tries to outsmart me with medical knowledge. Just now I had a drunk girl tell me she has hydronephrosis, then ask in a very snarky way if I even know what that means, you're too young to know anything, you don't look like a doctor why am I even talking to you, etc. I explained in great detail how water can build up in the kidneys, possible side effects, how to diagnose, etc. She wasn't too happy I'm smart and turned into an angry drunk. I like being smart.

0315: adam1330 just returned from his journey with McDonald's that he got for free. He said something about I fucked her and she paid me kind of deal he set up with the cashier.

0345: McDonald's is the most delicious when it's free. A guy I just talked to was very intoxicated and was humping the air while I was holding a conversation with him.

0415: Well something exciting finally happened. A woman was brought in, and as she was having the cuffs removed, she turned around and tried to hit the officer. This didn't go over too well, and the officer kicked her feet out from underneath her and brought her to the ground. She was then placed in the "timeout chair" and put in a cell. She' was screaming about how she "knows her rights" and whatever else. Sure. No injuries were noted and she's probably going to stay in the chair until shift change at 0700. Also, There was a guy who came in who had a haircut just like that crazy woodpecker dude from Looney Tunes. Shaved on the sides, back and top with a long patch on the very front. He was pretty crazy. Still no costumes to report.

0452: Nothing new, girl is still in restraints.

0513: Girl in restraints has been screaming "HELLO" very loudly for the past little bit and won't shut up.

0545: A guy just stood up and pissed on the floor in front of everyone. Now he has an added charge of urination in public. Dumbass. Also the girl in restraints was taken out of restraints. Now she's just sitting there very quietly.

0600: A bleach blond Asian came in. That's the highlight of the hour.

0630: Nothing new to report. I'm looking longingly at the door my relief should come through in about 30 mins. Also, to clarify what happened between the Russian couple- the female hit the male. I told the officer next to me she hit him. The officer looked at them, looked at me, then went back to doing whatever he was doing. Stop sending me angry PM's about not reporting abuse.

0655: I'm counting down until I leave. 5 minutes until my relief should be here, but we'll see if he gets here on time.

0700: My relief showed up. I'm out. This was fun.

0801: I'm back home now. This Halloween wasn't the best I've worked, but I hope it was enjoyable for all you who read it.

dogback

London police officer here. In my opinion Halloween is by far the worst night to work. Just finished a long bastard night shift dealing with an ass hat in a banana man outfit squeezing bananas between his buttocks while shouting "it's ok I'm bumana man". Gotta give it to him.

whampbeef

I work as a part time police officer in a rural township with a small historical town in the middle. Got called out for a couple noise complaints last week that ended up being Halloween parties. Like every place in America, we have a local crackhead that everyone knows. Get to the party, and the local crackhead is there is dressed as Tyrone Biggums from Chappelle Show. Asked him if he was using today. He said, "Nope, on the one day I actually come out as a crackhead, I ain't using." He was serious, its the only time anyone from the department had seen him not all cracked out. Not really a story, but when we get a call this time of year for a Halloween party, everyone on shift rushes there, not to break up the party, but to check out all the women dressed slutty. TL;DR Local crackhead is dressed as Tyrone Biggums on the one day he isn't on crack.

MonsunBull

I used to work for Texas A&M EMS, and for a couple years the police department had trouble with a wookie. There was a full grown man, in a movie quality Chewbacca costume, who would run around campus and scare the living shit out of students. The cops would keep an eye out for him, but I guess in the dark they could never see him to catch him. I kept in touch with a couple officers after I left there and the PD finally caught the Chewbacca and took him to jail...still dressed as a wookie.

TAMUMEDIC

I love these threads because I always have great ones from the fantastic state of Idaho.

The one that stands out the most would have to be Halloween 2001. This particular experience nearly made me take a leave due to the weirdness, so don't say I didn't warn you. It starts off on a regular Halloween patrol, my regular partner was sick (and somehow managed to attend a party) so I was stuck with a crotchety racist who I really didn't like. About an hour in he says something like "hey spook, what are those guys doing?". After a brief and angry discourse on nomenclature, we stopped to see what looked like a bit of an impromptu costume orgy past a thicket on the side of the road. This was normal for Halloween, and was more often than not drunk middle aged party goers. The two men were dressed as Mickey mouse and the woman was hard to see, but looked to be dressed as a deer.

Normally when I see the old random hump, I let them have the privacy to finish and then chase them off or arrest them depending on location. This time was disconcerting though, they weren't holding the woman down, but from what I could see she was unresponsive. So we strolled up and tapped on the tree behind them. They didn't stop canoodling, but what we saw made us jump back and I am unashamed to admit I threw up on the spot. This is the part where I say that what I saw was the single most awful thing I, and I am assuming racist asshole as well, have ever seen.

It wasn't a deer costume, it was a half butchered doe with its intestines strewn about. They were taking turns fucking it and all they were wearing was mickey mouse masks. That was really hard to write because the image is still really fresh in my brain after all these years. This was just so inhumanly awful that I can't describe it. I might tear up, I'm not kidding. Okay, anyway we stare completely frozen for about a minute until racist asshole takes out his gun and starts yelling at them.

These guys don't pay any attention to us and just keep humping away covered from the waist down in blood and what appeared to be some solid matter. Finally my brain kicks in and I tell racist asshole to lower his gun and we both step forward and detain the two men. We call it all in and take the two men back to the station. They don't say a damn word the whole way back, but one guy keeps chuckling. They tested positive for meth (big fucking surprise) and were both very incoherent even after they came down. I didn't look into it much, but they both apparently were run of the mill laborers who had gone missing months prior.

So, that is one of the more gruesome things I have seen. One of the most visually disturbing, anyway. So yeah, happy Halloween.

Anticlimactic-story

My friend got put in the drunk tank a few Halloweens ago. One of the guys in the tank was wearing a Superman costume. The drunks spent the whole night razzing him; telling him to bend the bars so they could escape.

caribbeanz

Mainly just drunk people.

An officer once arrested a chick in a sexy cat costume who tried to blow him. That's all I got.

[deleted]

I saw a (fake) bloody foot sticking out of a car, told my dad, and he told me, Halloween's the perfect time to murder or kidnap someone. The police will just think you're just trying to scare someone with fake limbs.

alvinliu

Well we had a cop in my neighborhood pull over a guy on an ATV because he was shooting kids with his paintball gun.

WilliamHealy

I actually always enjoyed working Halloween as the incident descriptions were always hilarious: 'number two female dressed as snow white being disorderly. She's uh approaching trick-or-treaters and appears to be 6I (intoxicated' 'Possible subjects smashing cars; appear to be males dressed as ninja turtle'

stepinsnow

A lady I work with is married to a cop and she told me how a couple years back he got word that a bunch of kids were going to egg cars in their neighborhood so him and his partner dressed up in huge raincoats and walked down the street and let the kids egg them in stead.

WorldofCatcraft

I just saw a cop in Chicago riding a horse with a horse mask on... I thought it was pretty weird.

obsceneonetwo

In the past few years Halloween has become big business and adults seriously partake in the fun and costumes. Lots of adult costume and theme parties in recent years. You go to houses and people have real problems, but they're dressed in ridiculous costumes. You try settling a domestic dispute between drunk Raggety Ann and Andy. Those cat women costumes rarely disappoint. However we had an automobile vs. pedestrian accident one year and the dead victim (drunk, ran across a dark highway) and the poor driver (sober and devestated) were both in costumes. Fucking surreal.

[deleted] 

I was told a story of a girl who went to a party as a frog. Not a slutty frog, just a full onesie and frog hoodie.

She got really hammered, as most American college kids do on Halloween (lets be honest, any holiday), and then attempted to drive home. I say attempted because she drove over a median and into a tree.

The cops showed up, and she failed sobriety tests with flying colors. She was then hauled off to spend the night in jail... in a frog suit. She decided against calling anyone for a ride because most of her friends were at the party trying to convince her not to drive, and her family was out of the question.

The kicker is that onesies get really hot, so she was naked underneath. She had to walk home in a frog suit hungover and depressed. It started raining. She had to put the frog hood on. Now just imagine a frog walking in the rain, hood up, head down - Her friends drive by. Ouch.

WDoE

Went out this weekend as a photographer for my local college paper (at a fairly big party school) in a small town. Halloween gets pretty wild here, and cops are a HUGE presence. By far the best part is the horse-mounted cops, who are basically there to be big and scary and tell drunk people to get the fuck out of an area if need be.

Highlights from the weekend (not all seen by me, but reported) include:

  • woman getting angry at cop for sternly talking to her boyfriend, then punching said cop

  • Drunk asshole tackling local hot dog guy's sign and then stand. Proceeded to be tackled by at least 4 cops. Complained loudly for several minutes about how he did nothing wrong. Cops genuinely tried to warn him about hitting his head on a car as they walked him to the drunk bus, and he flipped his shit.

  • Huge horse cop breaking up a party by just slowly walking up onto the sidewalk. It's amazing how quickly people will move when they turn around and see a horse's snout staring them directly in the face.

  • LOTS of alcohol pourings after minor in possessions or open containers

  • Cops tackling multiple subjects, who all looked like one guy they were chasing

  • TWO different groups of girls (none taller than 5'8", and I'm 6'4") threatening my life and my camera's well-being because I was taking photos of their friends getting arrested or treated by medical professionals

  • Female costume that consisted of panties, sneakers, cowboy hat, and duct tape shaped like stars over her nipples

  • Male costume exactly like the one above, minus the duct tape.

It was a blast.

kingtuolumne

My mom is a paramedic and one of the top party schools in the US is about an hour from here, so they pull in extra paramedics to cover it. I've heard some fun stories.

  • Superman and Batman got in a fight over who would win in a fight and Superman broke Batman's jaw.

  • Someone ended up with a fish hook through their cheek. ... Who the Hell had a fish hook?

  • A lot of girls wear regular paint over their whole bodies, and then they overheat because they don't realize they aren't able to sweat.

missmaggy2u

My friend was pulled over after a Halloween party. He was breathslyzed and thrown in jail. The best part is, he went to the party dressed as a "prisoner".

[deleted]

Not a cop, but almost called them when I caught a bunch of asshole teenagers spraying my dog in the eyes with pepper spray. I ran down the street, caught the one with the spray, and sprayed the living hell out of him. I'm talking nose, eyes, ears, mouth. He was crying when I picked him up and shoved him to his friends down the road. In hindsight I don't regret this because my dog was crying all night after I rinsed her eyes... Fucking teenagers man.

DressyVermin

Not a cop, but I have a good cop-related story (novel?) of some good times on Halloween.

So it was actually about a year ago when I still lived in Illinois and was working as a banquet server. Every year the place I worked at has a thing called the Boo Bash where everyone dresses up and just gets completely trashed until 2 a.m. comes knocking and they get kicked out. So everything goes fine, or as fine as a huge party like that can go; the oddest things being a very large lady literally dancing with the wall for an hour or two, so nothing out of the ordinary really. But after everyone was kicked out and the servers were done cleaning up their messes, I walk out of the building and see roughly ten to fifteen cops/security guards standing around on one side, and then fifteen to twenty party-goers standing on the other side, with about ten feet between them; a.k.a. business as usual. But as I walk past this drunken/tired/annoyed mob I start to hear shouting and as I turn around I witness one of the best scenes of my life. On my left I see Buzz Lightyear yelling at jack sparrow while being held back by a green army man with all of the cop/security guards walking towards them getting ready to disperse them. All I could really do was just laugh at how ridiculous it all looked, probably because I just got off from working a twelve hour shift.

Capinporcupine

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.