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Pizza Delivery Guys Share The Strangest Things They've Ever Experienced On The Job

Pizza Delivery Guys Share The Strangest Things They've Ever Experienced On The Job
Photo by Lukas Bee. on Unsplash

Food delivery people are the true MVPs of this world. Through rain or shine, they're always there to make sure that your food gets to you quickly. And if that delivery is pizza, all the better!

At the same time, not every delivery goes perfectly. The pizza delivery people get a glimpse into the life of those ordering food, and sometimes those glimpses are just plain weird.

Curious about the strangemess, Redditor messydavidd asked:

"Pizza guys of reddit, what's the strangest thing you've seen when delivering pizzas?"


Pizza Bet

"I deliver for Doordash and Grubhub, sometimes pizzas. One time I picked up an order from each app, same exact order, from the same restaurant, both named James, to the same hotel."

"When I knocked on the door two guys were there and asked me which was I, Doordash or Grubhub. I told them I was both and have both orders. They started to laugh really hard."

"When I asked what was so funny, they told me they had a bet on which one would come first. They thought it was going to be 2 different drivers and never thought one person would be using both apps. I laughed too and asked them which one was James. They told me they are both named James. I still wonder what other funny things those two guys try come up with."

– Moist_Remorse

Mood

"Customer paid with a card and he had instructions to leave the pizza on a bench in a public area. Drop it off and quickly leave the area. I left but pulled on a side street where I could see the bench. I wait probably close to 5 minutes and then I see a man bust out of a dilapidated building I thought was empty."

"He runs up and grabs the pizza, he spins a whole 360 degrees and he is glancing in every direction as if he was afraid he was being watched. Then he hurries back to the place and when he gets to the door he sees me and his eyes get huge and wide, paranoid and fearful. He slammed the door shut. I just think he was tweaking or something wouldn't be out of the ordinary around here."

– Solomon_R

"That's me eating pizza while on a diet."

– messydavidd

Interesting

"Was delivering to a hotel, had a guy pass out on me 3 separate times in a 10 minute encounter. Apparently he was narcoleptic, but it still scared that crap out me."

– roxas596

"Narcoleptic here. He was probably having a cataplexy attack. We don't actually pass out, we're still conscious but we lose control over our muscles so we look passed out. Theres also the scenario where it's only partial, then it looks like a seizure because we try to move only to cause spasms. Its triggered by emotion so he probably got nervous or something."

– FabCitty

Oh My GOD.

"I delivered to a hotel in the middle of a local golf course. Called the number to let them know I was there and was told to come on up. Get to the room and when the guy answered, there was a large group of guys, all in golf attire, surrounding a single guy in a chair. He was bound & blindfolded. The one that answered didn't even bat an eye, just asked how much and tipped me $30 bucks. Warily I took the money and walked away, but before the door was fully closed, I heard one on the guys ask "I wonder if he knows this is a..""

"Before I even left the parking lot, the guy that answered the door called me to say that the bound guy was his brother and he was bound & blindfolded because it's his bachelor party and the stripper was waiting to come out. I just showed up way earlier than they thought I would."

– Azurko

....Wow.

"Some dude opened the apartment door completely naked, I was stunned but what came after that made me ask myself if he was some kind of magician. He put a hand behind his back and pulled out a wallet. The only reasonable explanation I could give myself was that he tucked the wallet between his buttcheeks."

– gabelitos_131

Sure It Wasn't The Village People?

"Just simply coming up and there were 3 guys in underwear waiting for me. Handing the pizzas over and more just start coming out in underwear and these were also wearing cowboy hats and Native headdresses, some kind of Bro Halloween party or something. Got to grab my tip out of the dudes bra. It was funny as hell but when I left the building I had to process for a moment what the hell happened."

– T-Poo

YIKES!

"I had two teenage girls open the door in their underwear, as a joke I guess. They think it's funny but I had to report it to my manager and hope nothing came of it."

– Davimous

Valid Question.

"Just the other day showed up to a house to be greeted by two guys (about 25) on the roof in underwear clearly ecstatic about the pizza being delivered."

– krankykorn

"Did you Walter White the pizza up there?"

– 852168

Good Snekko.

"Had someone answer the door once with a snake on his shoulders. Not like a milk snake or a garter but a ball python. Probably about 6 feet long. As he closed the door I heard him say to someone that I hadn't reacted at all lol. Sounded so disappointed."

"Edit to clarify: this was almost a year ago. I am not a snake expert to so it is quite possible I misidentified the species. Thanks to those who pointed out my mistake."

– impgrl369

Helping A Celebrity

"I delivered back when Michael Vick was with the Philadelphia Eagles, Well we knew when he would order for his house under a false name. Anyways i got the delivery (which is awesome since i’m a huge Eagles fan). Michael lived in my town for his time with the Eagles. Upon arriving to his house, the house reeked of the devils lettuce. I go to the front door and a huge guy answered the door, looked around to see if anyone else was near, and asked me to get patted down. Obviously i’m not a threat so i said sure. I get patted down and The one and only Michael Vick comes around the corner and says “Wassup”. THEN IMMEDIATLY HIS YORKIE RUNS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND DOWN THE STREET. (He got a Yorkie after the whole dog thing for his daughter). His daughter runs out and screams “NO ROMEO” (assuming the dogs name is romeo). Michael then asks myself if i could get the dog, so i handed him the food and run down the street for the dog. Didn’t go far and i picked him up and went back to the front door and gave little yorkie Romeo to his daughter who was ecstatic about getting him back and ran inside with him. Michael then thanked me and gave me a nice tip and i went on my ways."

– sensei_taz

Whoops, Wrong Drawer

"On my last day on the job, on what was literally my last delivery as a pizza guy, knocked on the door to this guys apartment. Just heard a distant shout from inside, a four-digit number, at which point I noted the keysafe sat on the wall by the door. Entering the four numbers into that granted me the key to get in. 'Awfully trusting towards a delivery person', I thought to myself."

"Inside I go, where the smell of stale cigarettes hits me like a wall. Carry on through to where the voice is calling from, I'm greeted with an old man, bedbound and surrounded by full ashtrays, sucking on a cigarette like his life depends on it. I awkwardly set down the pizzas and tell him how much he owes me, to which he replies that his wallet is in one of the drawers the other side of the room."

"I opened the wrong drawer first. How did I know it was the wrong drawer? Because it was stuffed full to the brim (to the point it was difficult to open/close) with dildos. Of every shape, size and colour imaginable."

"His wallet is in the next drawer I try. I take what he owes me, leave him the change and scarper out of there as fast as I could. My final delivery, done."

"I don't miss that job."

– Eight_Bits_

Love Connection?

"About 40 years ago I delivered pizzas. A woman called and asked for me specifically. I never heard of her had never been to the address . when I went to the door she came out. Mid 50s 250-300 lbs blonde , cute face, wearing a fishnet bathrobe and no other clothing. She told to "stay for a piece and I don't mean pizza" . I left in a daze"

– Cdldice

I'd Die For My Pizza

"Another time while on a delivery I knocked on the door and the door opened from my knock. I look in the living room and the guy that ordered was face down on the floor. I went in and checked him out and he wasn't breathing. I called the fire Department (no 911 in those days) the firemen came and revived him. While on the floor with the oxygen mask on and waiting for the ambulance he called me over and asked for the pizza. I brought it to him and he took a slice lifted his oxygen mask and proceeds to eat the whole pizza before the ambulance arrived"

– Cdldice

How About A Verbal Tip?

"I delivered for Dominoes back in the late 80, early 90s in NYC. I never really had a problem finding places, until this one night."

"The address was 122 and an 8th, which was a bit odd. I arrived and was standing on a storm grate as I looked around for the place. Below me, I heard someone say "You're standing on it, dude!""

"I jumped back and looked down. Whoever was in the grate slipped up a $10 bill through the grate, and said "Just slip it down here.""

"I reluctantly slid the pizza down and snatched the money. The tab was $13 so he was short on the bill and no tip."

"After some back and forth, he gave the best advice ever: "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.""

"I had to get a new route. And at the time, I thought I delivered everywhere..."

– HruntingBlade

Not A Pet

"I had a friend in HS who delivered pizza. He went to a home and there was a opossum just chilling right beside the door like it belonged there. He was pretty high so he didn’t think to much about it because it didn’t run off when he opened the screen door. He gave the lady her pizza then asked it the opossum was their pet. She started screaming and ran for a broom. The opossum wasn’t as chill from that point on."

– HoudiniCricket

There Aren't Even Words

"I've delivered pizzas for about a year now and honestly, it's been pretty tame. The "weirdest" thing I've seen so far was a father and son staying in one of the low-end motels right next to the interstate. Pretty normal until they opened the door, both in nothing but white briefs and behind them were three opened suitcases of barbie dolls. All naked, all missing at least one piece, and all being different like hair color/skin color."

"It was just the creepiest thing and I was so shocked that I couldn't ask about it."

– Deidris

Maybe He Had A Craving

"This happened inside the store, but some dude walked in wearing a really old papa John's hat ranting how he use to work there. And would ask the other people ordering food if they would buy him a onion. My boss finally came to the front and handed him one of the biggest onions we had. Then told the guy it's on the house, let these folks order their stuff so we can continue business. And without a hitch this guy just starts munching down on this thing like it was a granny Smith apple. Ate the whole thing, smiled and left without saying another word."

– Sinicalkush

Come On In

"Four year pizza delivery veteran here. not really something that I saw but more something that happened to me that was weird/unsettling. I hope this still counts."

"I work at a pizza place in my hometown while I’m finishing up college. Gets pretty boring when it’s slow but the money is good when it’s busy. (All you delivery guys can relate to that)"

"So one Friday night about two years ago I’m taking the last delivery of the night. I pull up to a nice house in a nice neighborhood and three boys maybe about say 12-14 years old answer the door."

"At first it’s pretty normal the kids just tell them the amount and they hand me the money. But right before I go to turn around one of the kids whispers “ask him” to one of the others and giggles.And I’m like oh fuck what are these kids about to say to me right now in my mind. But this kid goes “will you please be our fourth in Fortnite?”"

"Now remember I am 19 and baked. The alternative is going back and washing dishes and I figure I can kill five minutes. So I’m like “haha yeah sure” and these kids were pumped jumping up and down and shit.""

"So I go in and play the game and I’m got a kill or two these kids are losing their shit screamin going wild. I die within like say five minutes or whatever I dap the kids up they’re like oh well remember you forever bro and shit and at this point I’m like word what a nice moment with those fellas."

"This is the weird part."

"Then I leave and I’m walking across the yard back to my car and I see the mom. The mom gives me this look of like terror/confusion as we pass each other and makes a kinda speed walk towards her door and goes in. I kinda just give her like a awkward smile."

"So as I am driving away I’m like holy shit that mom thinks that I murdered her kids or some fucked up shit like that. Like she pulled up, heard screaming, and sees me leaving with a weird smile. Maybe she didn’t even know they ordered pizza."

"I never heard anything about it though. I assume they were like nah pizza guy was chill we played fortnite and the mom was happy the kids were okay but yeah. That’s my weirdest one."

– newleathercouch

At Least There Was A Happy Ending

"I delivered a pizza to a young girl who was home alone and when she opened the door her dog immediately ran away. I handed her the pizza, got in my car, found the dog and returned it. She left me no tip so I was feeling kind of salty about it on the way back to the restaurant."

"A few hours later her Mother called the store asking to speak to me. She thanked me and explained they had left tip money but their daughter was so upset about the dog she forgot to give it to me."

"I worked at this pizza place for two more years through college and they would get two large pepperoni pizzas and request me to deliver it every week after that. They always tipped me at least $25."

– freshprinceofbeller

That's so wholesome! I would request him too.

customers

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

– OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

– CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

internet rumors

People Share Their Best 'Don't Ask How I Know That' Fun Facts

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

dont ask

People Break Down The Times They Had To Sober Up Real Fast

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

The Most Ridiculous 'First World Problems' People Have Heard Someone Complain About

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.


problems