Let's be real, we've all broken rules at our place of employment at one point or another. Whether or not we've gotten caught, that's another story. Toeing the line with your job is not the smartest idea, but there are the rare occasions that we do, in fact, get away with it.
Sammy-J23 asked: What was a situation where you thought, "I'm going to be fired for sure" but it turned out completely fine?
A happy ending.
"A colleague who had just been told he was going to be made redundant sent out a f-you email to a wide slew of the customer base and staff then trashed our development AS/400 (yes, I'm an old guy). He did it by logging on remotely using my login details.
Two months of suspension, suspicion, investigation and me crapping myself until it was finally tracked it down to him. They apologized, gave me a pay rise and asked my not to seek recourse with him as it was in the hands of the police.
He and I discussed it about 2 years later. It was a short conversation."
Is this Flowers for Algernon?
"Worked as a Research Assistant while in college. My boss worked with mice brains and gave me a couple practice ones to learn how to slice and mount them onto microscope slides.
Eventually, she let me move onto the real thing. She literally said "this brain is really important, I've been working on experiments with this mouse for 6 months".
In my anxious state I dropped it down the drain with the water running... She was not happy in the slightest but didn't fire me at least."
Karma came to her.
"Kind of the opposite. I had booked a few "vacation days" to help my mom move to Florida. While in Florida, employer called me six days before I was scheduled to be home and said they needed me the next day, no exceptions. That was 1600 miles that they wanted me to drive nonstop for a 4 hour shift in the afternoon the next day.
I made the trip. I worked my shift. Then they fired me after my shift for no apparent reason (found out later that my boss did this on purpose to prove a point to some fresh blue-blood employees). I was livid, but there was nothing I could have done. However, the employer was a (now former) friend of my mom's and all of her retired Bridge-Club friends.
After the news got out that she had made me drive 24 hours at the drop of a hat simply to fire me (which incidentally cost my mom $500 in movers' fees to finish the move that I wasn't able to), she lost enough of her local patrons that she couldn't sustain the business and filed for bankruptcy less than a year later."
"First day at my first job out of UNI: I pushed my code changes straight onto develop. I landed a great gig as a junior software developer at one of the very few studios in my city, and was loving it, but got distracted when pushing some code. Instead of my feature branch, develop suddenly had this untested bit of fresh graduate muck all over it.
I was freaking out thinking they were going to fire me and give me a fine or something, but they were really chill and understanding about it all. Never made another git mistake again though!"
We've all seen a teacher do this.Giphy
"I was a teacher, accidentally said the f word in front of the students since they were provoking me. None of the students bothered reporting it to the principal. I felt like I was pretty lucky."
That's a forgiving boss.
"I had a bad jaw infection because of a tooth. The doctor put me on antibiotics and gave me tylenol with codeine. I took two before I went into work and brought the bottle with me.
Well after an hour the pain was still killing me so I took another two. Repeat every hour for 3 hours. Let's just say I could not stand up straight and was really out of it. Someone noticed me wobbling and got the boss. He came over and asked me if I was alright and what was wrong so I told him. He asked me where the bottle was and then took it and locked it in his desk drawer.
He walked back over to my work station with a chair and asked if I was okay to keep working. I told him I was so he set me in the chair and let me continue. Never said a word to me about it after and gave me the bottle back at the end of the day."
"I let a guy walk out with about $50 worth of food because it was my second day and I had no idea how to ring up phone orders.
Another time my drawer came up $10 short. I still don't know what happened but I never heard anything about it after that day."
"Worked in the oil-field for a while.
One of the plant operators would sleep all day (for some reason) in his office chair, with his hands/head on the desk.
One day, some of the higher-ups walked into the room. I was pretty sure he was about to get fired.
Without skipping a beat, he said "In Jesus' name, amen" and then stood up to greet everybody. The boss nodded his approval and they all started talking about the plant.
The guy got caught sleeping on the job, and managed to look good doing it."
Speaking to the manager doesn't always work.
"I worked in a call centre for an internet provider and website host. I literally told one of our biggest customers (I believe it was actually the biggest, the dude had a website and 10 links with us) to find another provider, since he was being overbearing and even said it was generally better just to pressure us, the attendants, instead of sending their own technicians to solve internal problems.
Then, obviously, he said he wanted to talk with the manager, and I, very respectfully, denied this, since I was doing my part of the protocol. Then, he threatened to call the commercial sector and talk to their manager himself (a little context here: the commercial was crap. They're pretty much on the customer's side every single freaking time).
I thought it was the end for me... But here comes the plot twist.
The commercial indeed transferred the call to their manager, but he was busy and told them to just transfer to the C.E.O, and oh Lord, they actually did it.
The C.E.O himself told the guy to find another provider."
"I work at a radio station and one time accidentally deleted an entire commercial break and just played news room music on top of it and literally no one noticed."
Bad news, indeed.Giphy
"I deleted a production database once. It was very bad news. The reason I didn't get fired was because the DBA involved should have checked the request with my boss first. I basically specified the wrong server (I was fairly new) and gave them the production instance rather than the dev instance (dev would have required no authorisation).
The good news is it was backed up of course.
I was praised for owning up straight away and procedures were changed so it wouldn't happen again.
Made me feel sick as hell though!"
That reply-all button is nothing but trouble.
"Was doing work for a difficult customer. Customer emailed several people within my company and theirs, about all the stuff that went wrong in their perception, how it was all my fault, etc. They were actually unreasonable, many things were not my fault, and some things were utter lies.
I did a reply-all and took out all the customer addresses from the "to:"-field, and gave my view on the whole situation to my colleagues (without getting nasty, I stayed professional), etc. Immediately got a call from my superior, yelling at me.
Apparently I forgot to check out the "cc:"-field as well, so my email went to some people of their company.
Got called into the boss's office the next day. Was sure that I would be in trouble. Luckily he wasn't upset at all, agreed that this customer were total a**holes, but I do have to be a bit more careful with the reply-all button.
Lesson well learnt. Always check where your email is going to. When typing a new email, enter the recipients after writing the email."
"I used to work with older adults with mental challenges. We would do chores together and cook together, you know give them a safe home and help them live in it.
One day I was taking my client to the laundry mat in her complex. She was a bit unsteady on her feet so I told her to wait at the stairs as I took the laundry up then I would help her. She didn't listen and fell straight backwards on the first step cracking her head. There was a lot of blood.
Everything was ok and my bosses understood I tried my best to keep her safe. I was terrified though, head wounds bleed a lot."
$3.50 an hour would've been a sweet deal.Giphy
"First week in on a business trip with my boss. At a hotel and she asks me to find out if we can use a private area for a conference call. I ask the front desk and the lady:
"We have a conference call we need to jump on. Is there a quiet space we can use?"
"Sure. We have conference rooms. How long would you need it?"
"Only a few hours."
"Sure. It's three fifty".
"Oh wow. Great. What if we used it the whole day?"
So we used that room for 2 days.
I'm checking out and notice a $900 charge. I, in my naivity, assumed she meant $3.50 per hour. No no. $350 per day. Plus $60 per day for water service. Plus tips and fees. The hotel rooms themselves werent even $300 a night.
I checked out at 4am so I couldn't talk to anyone. I tried calling before my flight to straighten it out but didn't get ahold of anyone. It was the only time I was on a plane that hit a lot of turbulence and thought "well maybe it's not so bad if we go down. Then I don't have to tell my boss."
It was fine in the end. We work for a multi-billion dollar company. But man oh man was I prepared to pay that out of my paycheck to keep my job."
"Accidentally broke an $1800 touch-screen POS terminal at the Home Depot I worked at. Even though I only cracked the glass, they had to replace the entire terminal.
Assistant store manager got super uppity and acted like I murdered his mother. I was young and he struck the fear of god into me. He had me quaking in my figurative boots.
The next day, the store manager called me into his office and I thought I was done for. He ended up laughing about it with me and said, "It's okay, it happens. It was $1800, but it happens." Could've been a LOT worse."
Some things are deceptively simple.
Oh, skydiving? That's easy.
Love yourself? Simple.
Who can't open a can of pickles?
ME! ME! That's who. I can't do any of the above simply.
It's all hard. And you know it too.
It's just designed to" look" easy only to bamboozle us.
Approach everything as a burden and live by a motto...
Redditor pterv2112 wanted to hear about the things that are truthfully not so simple.
"What looks easy peasy lemon squeezy but is actually difficult difficult lemon difficult?"
Monopoly. For the life of me, I can't get the hang of that game. I don't care anymore.
Play it...Saturday Night Live Happy Dance GIFGiphy
"Playing the triangle. A lot of my non-musician friends joke about how easy it is to play it. Then they actually hold the damn thing and look stupid."
It's A Lot!
"Work. I'm a lawyer and had a client call saying she needs a help with a merger, but 'don't worry, it's super easy peasy lemon squeezy.' That project took 6 months and I almost had a breakdown. She didn't understand why the bill was so high since it was SO easy."
"Gotta love how the layman lumps all lawyers together as the sleazy snakeoil salesman type without realizing or appreciating the sheer complexity of the legal work involved."
"Dancing. I wouldn't say it looks 'easy,' but when I see people do it, they're so good at it and it flows so well it looks easy. But damn, I just CANNOT get my body to do anything more than a bop and maybe some stupid arm moves. I'm 25 and dance like a 50 year old at a reunion. Dancers are so delicate and make it look so easy, it's honestly amazing. It's just hilarious when I try to do literally anything and fail horribly."
"Whistling with your fingers."
"My cousin taught me when we were in our tweens. It's come in very helpful whistling for the dogs and horses at feeding time."
"What I always wanted to learn was how my grandpa whistled without having to stick dirty fingers in my mouth. Nothing like cleaning stalls, then trying to whistle for horses with sh*t-covered hands. Washing them in near-freezing buckets of water wasn't a first choice either."
It's a...Studying Hand-Made GIF by Philippa RiceGiphy
"Drawing something from memory. Like a bird or something. In mind - yep that's a bird On paper - that's... a bird?"
Drawing birds is impossible; mine look like mules.
Go DeepDigging Blue Collar GIF by JC Property ProfessionalsGiphy
"Digging. Anytime it's shown in movies or TV it looks easy AF but the second you have to grab a shovel and break dirt... bleh."
"A basic physical exam at the doctor. Looks like a simple 'look at the throat' - 'listen to the chest' - 'yup they have a heart all right.' When in actuality Doctors spend thousands of hours practicing it so that when you come in with a murmur or 'Funny-looking-kid-syndrome' they can recognize it immediately."
"And yes, there are entire class sections on how to respectfully ask your patient to turn their head and cough as you push on their testicles (they're looking for hernias)."
"Street names. Everyone thinks it's great fun and likes to offer suggestions but every tree, lake, and other natural feature has at least a dozen variations which you can't repeat for emergency service reasons. That and you get cities which want a street name change anytime the road changes direction regardless of a logical break point like an intersection."
"'Natural' makeup. More work than 'regular' makeup."
"To be honest this reminds me of a video I watched of a visual effects artist explaining his job, If no one notices your work on the footage you've done your job well, its only when you mess up do people notice."
"This is painfully true for a lot of jobs. When nobody notices, it means you did an excellent job but no one will give you credit because they aren't even aware there is credit due. But the moment you slightly f**k up, you're the worst person in your profession."
The SqueezeAs If Lol GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Making lemonade. Sure squeezing one lemon is easy peasy, but do you know how much juice that makes? Not a lot."
I love Lemonade... the drink and the album... but I have no patience to make it.
Art is subjective.
As much as movies are universally loved, there are some that leave a big question mark.
Sometimes films, plots, and characters make no sense. AT ALL.
And that is uncomfortable for the ego.
Is it art?
Am I just dumb?
Why do I care?
Redditor erin214 wanted to discuss all the movies most of us just don't get.
"What movie do you just not get?"
There are so many movies to bring up. But we don't have all day... let's discuss.
I'm Lostdavid lynch GIFGiphy
"Mullholland Drive. David Lynch once said there is definitely a coherent story and you can figure it out if you just pay attention. I don't believe him."
"The Nut Job. I get that it's a kid's movie and the expectations aren't high but that movie feels 15 years older than it is and it's full of the cheesiest one liners over and over. It feels so low budget yet the cast is nothing but stars."
"It's just mediocre. Saw it once when it came out, laughed about it and enjoyed it then but never have had the urge to watch it again."
So many twists...
"Primer. Can’t follow it. I tried; I even looked up the diagrams. I cannot follow that movie for the life of me."
"I think it's just ok to not get it all. When I watch Primer I don't try to follow it all, I just understand the gist of it and understand that it does all make sense on paper and enjoy the show. Don't get too caught up in following all of the twists, it's too clever for it's own good. Really great movie, though."
"I consider myself a mild movie buff and pay attention diligently when watching any movie. But when I watched I’m Thinking of Ending Things with Jesse Plemons I had no sweet clue what was going on."
"In a nutshell: the only 'real' character in the movie is the old janitor who freezes to death at the end. Everything else is his delusional fantasy of how his life could/should have been, mixed with memories of the grim reality of why it turned out the way it did. We're observing his thought process."
Headaches...Screaming Jennifer Lawrence GIF by mother!Giphy
"I feel like mother is how I feel during a migraine. Everything is happening way too fast and I have no idea what’s going on."
Mother. Oh brother. That movie.
Bad MouthChristian Bale Oooo GIFGiphy
"American Psycho. It’s one of my favorite movies so I’m by no means bad mouthing it, but that ending drives me insane. I can’t figure it out. It makes no sense to me. What was the point supposed to be?"
Second Time Around
"Just to clarify, I didn't (don't) hate the movie, I even found the plot cool. But when trying to give it sense, I can't, because a don't fully get it."
"I actually liked it better the second time and I think it's because I watched it on a crappy sound system that drops all the low end bass and is mostly mids and highs, making the dialogue easier to hear. The basic entropy reversal premise is still too stupid to consider interesting or clever though. I can't suspend my disbelief in that idea."
I see the light...
"The Lighthouse. But I still loved it."
"I think it's about a man who is mentally ill and gets isolated along with someone he cannot stand, middle of the movie he does say that a coworker died and the film indicate that he killed him, which explains the scene where he smokes a cig by the beach and see all those logs approaching and he sees a body and he walks right towards it, maybe he regrets what he had done, his mind is certainly playing tricks on him, that's just my take."
"Cloud Atlas. I’m pretty sure you need to go on a mushroom samba to understand it."
"The book makes more sense. It's weird because there is a whole lot in the movie that is lifted very faithfully from the book but there are lots of little intangible bits that don't translate onto the screen well."
"I loved this one! I can see it's a confusing movie, though."EmileWolf
Jake AlwaysBlack And White Movie GIF by hoppipGiphy
"Donnie Darko. Do I really need a website, a book, and a director’s cut to understand a movie? A little exposition, please."
"I love this film and have seen both versions a number of times over the years. I can't explain it though, it's just a vibe I guess. Like that feeling you get when you've just woken up from a vivid dream and haven't adjusted to reality yet."
So many of these movies are on my list. It's them not us.
They say it's hard for workers to get fired from their jobs. That is unless, of course, the employee is self-sabotaging and has nothing at stake.
While there are many unemployed people desperately looking for work, there are apparently just as many of those who want nothing more than to leave a situation that makes them miserable, despite having a steady paycheck.
Curious to hear about terminated employees, Redditor bartertownbeer asked:
"What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?"
Fired? How about arrested?
"During their onboarding training, they stole my bosses wallet on camera.... 1 hour in.."
Right Place, Wrong Time
"This is the opposite route here but I found it amusing. My boss was out of town and I managed a tea shop near a Starbucks years ago. This kid came in (foreign) and said he was supposed to start today. We were hiring and I trained him etc. My boss came back two days later and had no idea. The kid was in the wrong place but he stayed with us. Hired on the spot without even applying."
"We had a recent college grad that would use his corporate card for personal purchases. He figured that the company would just keep deducting from his payroll until it was paid off. He was fired after three months of constant reminders to stop doing it. I don’t think it qualifies as the fastest, because he lasted three months, but it was so idiotic."
The Longest Errand
"I work construction. We had 2 new hires that were friends starting the same day. Boss told one take a coffee order and come back. Took everyone's money and said he needed his friend to go with him cause it was a big order. They never came back."
"A 19 year old kid got hired to work the seafood counter. See him twice and then never again. Asked a coworker what happened."
"He had closed seafood one night and was walking out of the store and the 5 pounds of crab legs he'd stuffed down the back of his pants fell out in front of the closing manager."
Being under the influence at work never ends well.
"New guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won’t pass a piss test, as he used his only bottle of clean piss earlier that day when he hired in."
"Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles...just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild."
"I worked in a bar and a new girl started. At work, she seemed a little rough but was fine."
"One day she finished a shift, sat at the bar and ordered a red wine with lemonade and ice in it (not really relevant to the story; just shows she is clearly insane). Her boyfriend came in, they had a huge domestic in front of my manager and several customers and she threw her drink over her bf and dramatically stormed out."
And That's Why We Don't Hire Off The Street
"Worked at a steel processing plant (polishing, cut to length, etc) Everyone started off as temps, some for years, before getting hired in. Management decided they were short-staffed and the solution was to start hiring people full-time off the street."
"So this dude starts, full-time on day one, full benefits, more money, getting trained by temps who've been there for months, if not years. Everyone is mad resentful of this dude, obviously."
"Halfway through his second day he gets escorted out for testing positive for coke on his drug test."
"They didn't hire any more dudes full-time off the street."
Competence is of utmost importance. Having brains is a good place to start as well.
Fast Food, Faster Firing
"Heard this from a manager I worked with when I worked in fast food. There was this one kid who didn’t show up for work. He ditched work often, so the manager called around, couldn’t get anyone to fill in his shift, so she had to fill it for him."
"A few hours into his shift, the dude ditching SHOWS UP, with his friends, and orders food from that manager. She fired him on the spot."
Careful Who You Denigrate
"First day of work, he walks in, says 'what the f'k is up dumba**' to the guy that parked next to (didn't touch) his new Camaro he bought since he got hired."
"The guy was the CEO of the company I used to work for, on visit to our branch."
"Literally ten minutes into his shift he was signing release papers."
"Worked in a grocery store for awhile: new guy took a lobster out of the tank and removed the elastic bands on its claws, then proceeded to put it back in the tank. The thing murdered all the other lobsters in the tank."
Up In Flames
"Guy had been working a few days at a barn. Decided to smoke right by bales of hay. Manager saw him and fired him right on the spot. At farms, you don’t f'k around with fire."
Remember when I mentioned how it's difficult for people to get fired?
Yeah, let's scratch that.
Apparently, it's super easy.
A trial can hinge on one simple piece of information.
All it could take for a suspect to walk free or go to jail for the rest of their lives is one single fact.
With this in mind, some lawyers will do their best to make sure that this information is buried, legally and ethically one hopes, and will never be brought up in trial.
However, for this to happen, Lawyers will still need to know this piece of information from their clients, as it otherwise could be brought up by the prosecution, effectively ending the case.
"Lawyers of Reddit, what is a detail that your client failed to bring up to you that completely lost you the case?"
The Whole Truth...
"Opposing counsel: 'Isn’t it true you hit Victim in the face with a brick?"'
"Client: 'No. Marcus hit him with the brick. I hit him in the back with a piece of wood'."- lizard96golf
Thought She Was Being Clever...
"A buddy of mine case as a public defender."
"A gal was busted on drug charges, and told him she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her."
"He thought, ok we'll use that."
"Turns out, she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her because she just sold them to an undercover cop."- CheapCigars
Choice Of Clothes Can Make A Difference...
"My house was robbed."
"In addition to all the stuff the thief took, he also stole a bunch of my suits and all of my neck ties."
"I had a big collection, like 100 or so."
"However, the thief left fingerprints on a hard plastic box that I kept spare change in."
"Fast forward 3 months, the thief is caught in the act of robbing another house in the same neighborhood, same detectives on my case and this new theft."
"They fingerprint the guy and the fingerprints match the ones from my house."
"At the thief’s arraignment, I see him stroll in wearing my suit and my tie."
"I tell the district attorney, he says there’s really no way to prove it."
"However, the tie he chose to wear was a one of kind street map of San Francisco and I still had all the documentation to prove it."
"The district attorney’s eyes widen and he informs the judge."
"The judge has the thief placed under arrest again for possession of stolen property."
"The thief’s lawyer was dumbfounded."
"It was a nice end to a rough situation!"- West-Operationsuit and tie johnny bananas GIF by 1st LookGiphy
Never Depend On Technicalities
"Obligatory not my client."
"Company I worked for at the time was doing due diligence before acquiring a small tech startup."
"The COO of the tech startup was a well-liked guy in the company, friendly and outgoing."
"Though we had heard rumblings that the COO was rather hands-on with the work and with female employees."
"Apparently there was a walk-away package proposed to the COO that would let him keep a sizable portion of his post-acquisition bonus because a young woman who worked in their sales department had filed HR complaints against the COO and obtained counsel."
"I sat in on the meeting with the COO and the company's retained lawyers while they grilled him about his contacts with the young woman."
"The COO denied ever having contact with her within the company without multiple other people present, those people said his behavior toward her in the meetings didn't raise any flag."
"The COO emphatically denied having any contact with her outside of work."
"The lawyers asked the question a half-dozen different ways and each time the COO denied any out of work contact."
"Later we meet with the woman and her lawyer with the COO not present."
"Her lawyer gives us a rather graphic card that came with a bouquet of flowers addressed to her from the COO."
"The guy had an account with a florist linked to his credit card."
"When the company-retained lawyers confronted him he said, 'but I never had contact with her'."
"'It's not like I delivered the flowers myself'."
"COO got terminated for cause so no walk-away package."
"At her request the woman was given PTO until after the acquisition then moved to another one of the companies under our umbrella."- GuiltyLawyerseason 5 episode 21 GIFGiphy
Who Exactly Am I Talking To?
"We got to the deposition of my client and all set up."
"The first question is 'please state your name'."
"The client looks at me and says 'can we take a break?'"
"We do and she pulls me out in the hall to tell me she's lied to me about her identity."
"She's apparently a serial fraudster and has changed identities 7 times since the 90s."
"She apparently thought the other attorneys had some how figured it out and that's why they asked the question."- Philosopher422
It's The Little Ones That Get You...
"Minor traffic cases can be the worst for this, believe it or not, because they are short and simple and often times the client isn't there, so if you get blindsided by something critical there's often no chance to consult with them to turn things around."
"I had a simple speeding case, 70mph in a 55."
"No big deal, if she does a driving improvement course they court will usually dismiss or reduce those, since her driving record wasn't bad."
"When I showed up for her, I found out that she had been driving 70 up an unplowed snow lane, to get around all the others cars traveling in the lane that had been plowed because they were driving too slow."
"I didn't know it was even possible to drive 70 on fresh snow."
"The officer stated he'd already cut her a break by not writing the ticket for reckless driving, and the judge politely agreed he didn't feel comfortable reducing it under those circumstances."
"When I called her up after court to confirm, she did, claimed she'd just forgotten to mention it."
"Now maybe I've lived too much of my life in the south, but that just boggles my mind as a detail you'd forget when hiring a lawyer for that incident."
"I would have told her in advance that hiring us was a waste of money, not to mention the hassle of taking an 8 hour class, and she should probably just go ahead and pay this one."
"I legitimately do that all the time during consults."
"Give my honest assessment if the case is even worth doing, and so by omitting that detail she harmed herself for no reason."
"At least she took it well and didn't get defensive."- AmberWavesofFlameDriving Get Away GIF by Zella DayGiphy
Despite the longstanding negative connotations which come with them, lawyers are there to help you.
So it's always the best decision to tell them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, especially if you're paying for their services.
That, or just obey the law so you won't need one.