You ever get a migraine and think you have a brain tumor, and you get super paranoid about it, but then when you go to the doctor, they just tell you it's from stress from your emotional trauma? Yeah, me neither. But thanks too the beauty/awfulness of the World Wide Web, we can all Google our symptoms and assume we're dying together.
Take a look at these poor folks who misdiagnosed themselves. Lay off the WebMD next time! Trust me!!!
U/PizzaFlavoredRanch asked: What self-diagnosis did you give yourself that turned out to be completly wrong?
When you automatically go to the worst case scenario, you may end up looking really f*cking stupid.
Wow, I hate this.
I thought I had worms when I pooped so I fished one out from my poo and put it in a little box and showed the doctor. Turns out it was a noodle.
Have you started chewing more?
My boobs hurt reading this.
Posing Saturday Night Live GIF
Giphy
TL;DR: (not) breast cancer.
When I was a teen I woke up with mild boob pain, but told myself that it was all in my head and went about my day. As you do.
But by the time midday rolled around it was so bad that I was literally hunched over, groping the offending titty in the middle of class. It felt like it was on fire and trying to shoot off my chest, and I had to hold on tight to keep it attached.
It couldn't be calmed, so I got my dad to come pick me up from school and take me to the hospital. I for sure had breast cancer, but we did some of his errands before going to the ER because he didn't think it was anything really serious. The whole time I was holding my chest and stifling cries because I was definitely about to die from breast cancer and it really f*cking hurt. Edit: not his fault, I didn't clue him in to how bad it actually was.
At the ER I embarrassed myself further by telling them all of this. Imagine being the doctor/ nurse that has to reassure a 15 year old that she's not dying from "acute breast cancer". Pretty sure they were laughing at me in the nurse's station.
Anyway, it turned out that I had an infected abscess, and it was decided that the best way to get it all out was to squeeze it through my nipple. The (army) doc went at it like he was replacing engine parts, knee on the bed, both hands grabbing my poor tiddy like it owed him money or something; I remember hating how much his hands were shaking from the effort, for some reason it made me ridiculously nauseous. I didn't even get the courtesy of a safe word. They told me that I screamed and passed out briefly, and I don't remember much after that except really appreciating the painkillers and a few days off school.
Not having breast cancer was also pretty cool
Mazel tov.
When I was 11, I convinced myself I was bleeding to death. I thought I was peeing or pooping buckets of blood and that's definitely not good. Right before I went to say goodbye to my family, I remembered that thing they told us about in sex ed like 6 months ago. It was a period. I got my period.
Oftentimes, misdiagnosis can come with an underlying mental illness. It’s insane what anxiety can do to a person.
Hypochondria is no joke.
I had hypochondria as a teen. The most horrifying by far was when I gave myself an AIDS diagnosis and kept it all to myself. Only now, many years later have I been able to share this with my closest friends. I was sure I wasn't going to see my 18th birthday. There was no way possible I could've had it and I didn't have any symptoms.
This internal panic lasted for about two months and became to a halt because I realized how ridicilous it was. With that stopped also my hypochondriatic thoughts once and for all.
I know some people aren't that lucky and can't shut it down with just the power of logic. That's why hypochondria is no joke. That sh*t eats you up inside.
Been there.
Tired Pre Code GIF by Turner Classic Movies
Giphy
I diagnosed myself with a brain tumour due to headaches. Was so convinced that I got a CT scan and turned out there was nothing wrong. Anxiety is a b*tch and will help convince you of anything negative.
I suffered constant headaches at one point. Turned out I was very dehydrated as I don't often drink.
Panic attacks will do that to you.
I had just moved to a different country and had to do a 14 day quarantine. By the 8th day I started having stroke-like symptoms. Having trouble breathing, heart palpitations, body going numb, not being able to speak properly. I was sure I was going to die and that it was definitely a stroke or a heart attack. I got taken to the hospital only to be diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder. It didn't make sense to me at the time, but now it does.
This is terrifying.
I was having frequent episodes where my vision would blur, my tongue felt swollen, my speech would get slurred, my concentration would drop to null, I would stagger, I would have goose bumps. These symptoms would come all at once and would last for hours. Once they were gone, I felt exhausted.
I thought for sure that it was something neurological. Lots of testing later, turns out it was a conversion disorder. The symptoms were an adverse reaction to stress and anxiety.
Treatment is helping (drugs, therapy, etc.). The episodes are a lot less frequent now, and also less severe. But I was forced to retire because of this. I didn't like that part. Still having trouble adjusting to that part.
While they do suck sometimes, believe it or not, misdiagnoses can come with unexpected surprises.
That would’ve been some really bad ceviche.
pregnant homer simpson GIF
Giphy
My aunt and I both got really sick, like throwing up for almost two weeks. Decided we had gotten food poisoning from some bad ceviche at a family gathering.
Nope! We were both pregnant. Had babies three weeks apart.
Gross, but better than the alternative.
One time I felt this terrible feeling in my gut when I was on my way to school. I had been feeling uncomfortable all morning but then it hit me much worse, it was this sharp pain I couldn't ignore anymore; It was awful. I thought I was dying. I told my mom "take me to the ER" she said "what's wrong? Can it wait?" And I said "no, Mom, I think I'm dying! Something ruptured! I feel like I'm being stabbed!" And she spun around like you see in the movies and started speeding and I curled over. I thought I was about to pass out the pain was so bad and then.... then I farted.
So I sat back up and said "It's okay. I'm better now" in the calmest possible voice to my mom- who at this point was panicking and driving like 90 in a 50- and she turned to me and said "did you just fart?" And she turned the car back around and took me to school. We never spoke about it again.
Same.
Narcolepsy, turns out I'm just built different and need like 13 hours of sleep to feel satisfied.
That's called hypersomnia.
In regards to that last one, I also have hypersomnia and it SUCKS. But hey, it just means more nap time.
Moral of the story, go to your freakin' doctor. It's always better to be safe then sorry, and the copay is less expensive than a future ER visit. Do future-you a favor and get it taken care of early
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.