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People Who Have Watched Someone's Sanity Slowly Deteriorate Share Their Stories

People Who Have Watched Someone's Sanity Slowly Deteriorate Share Their Stories
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Perhaps the hardest thing about watching someone's mental health deteriorate is the inability to say good-bye. If the person was someone you knew well, it can be so terrible watching the individual you once knew slip away that you don't even think about telling them how you truly feel until it's too late.

Then, unfortunately, that person you once knew is no longer there.


Reddit user, u/DestroyedbymybigPP, wanted to know:

When did you watch someone's sanity slowly deteriorate?

Protect Adults From The Internet

My mom started going to online blogs and web-radio shows about ghosts, aliens, conspiracies and took it all at face value. I saw my normal mom turn into a complete, gullible ignoramus in a matter of months. Nobody could talk to her without her bringing up FEMA death camps, potential economic collapse, aliens, antivax or Obama signing more executive orders than any president in history. Her friends thought she might have a brain tumor. She didn't.

She did have cancer she was hiding/ignoring that ended up killing her bc she thought cancer wasn't real. This is what happens to lonely people that are looking for a connection...they'll believe anything just to feel that they are a part of something. It was very sad that she was so unbearable the last couple years of her life.

7AutomaticDevine7

My (ex) best friend over the course of this past year has gone from a normal - well adjusted woman who held down a full time job and a VERY nice apartment to constantly being online and talking about how humans are just slaves to an alien race that lives on mars and how reality doesn't exist and If she died none of it would matter because reality doesn't exist...

I don't talk to her anymore because if I said anything in opposition, she would lose her sh-t on me... very different from the kind, compassionate woman I was best friends with for 4 years. I miss her every day.

Disclaimer: I know she's doing well, she has a great familial support system and other friends that agree with her beliefs, I just couldn't be one of them anymore.

We can't force someone into help if they don't want to be helped.

happybunnybb

Still Going Strong, But Maybe She Shouldn't Be

My grandmother as she went into alzheimer's. Use to be very active in the community and always helpful. When I was young remember doing meals on wheels with her for the old folks around town along with helping/hanging at the senior center.

Now she barely remembers who I am or where she is. Even so much as to lash out at people. I wish to have my grandma back I basically grew up with due to my mother working so much to take care and raise us. She is a shadow now of her former self and can't even hold a convo or even move out of her bed. She now is taken care of by family 24/7 which is so far away from the independent person she use to be. Never asking for help but always offering it.

Still going at 93 right now but not the same person I know. Sometimes I consider her already passed as she is so far away from what she use to be. Guess it is how we all go in the end...

ak_n3tgh0st

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

I'm a nurse and I had this patient once who was diagnosed with a brain tumor. We came everyday to help him get dressed and cleaned up and everything. His wife told us he was a very well educated man who cared a lot about how he looked. He used to shave every day. So I handed him his razor and his shaving cream one morning. He just looked at me and said 'what am i supposed to do with this?'

He didn't remember how to do it. I will never forget how he looked at himself in the mirror, it was like he didn't even recognize himself

He went to a hospice a day later and he didn't even understand why.

idc2407

An Obsession Becomes Unhealthy

I was in high school and my best friend went from a normal guy who we would smoke occasionally, listen to music and have fun. It went to this obsession with a girl that clearly has no interest in him. He would literally stalk her, try to win her over. At the same time, he wasn't keeping up with hygiene and went from a decent student to a poor performer.

I told my parents everything that was going on. His parents were extremely well educated but weren't doing anything about his behaviors. My parents talked to his and they took it serious after hearing about the thoughts of self harm. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Nearly 40 years later, he still doesn't look the same. Really sad situation. I still miss him.

Stuntedatpuberty

Challenging When It's Your Own Father

My father. Whole family suffers with mental illness, this combined with his rough childhood made him a generally slightly unstable person. He was prescribed the wrong meds, for depression and the minor issues we were having progressed over 9 months to mania and psychosis, having episodes which would have to call the police. Couldn't get help and he ended up moving out after breaking my nose and not remembering.

I've been through a lot but those 9 months were some of the worst because I could do nothing but watch as I was just a kid and had to watch the father I love turn into a horrible person who I hated but pitied at the same time. He become verbally abusive, imagined things, and forgot everything, very confused with life and forgot most things, making up stories where he didn't remember. Not only was it his downfall but also the downfall of the family

waddlepenguinmaster

A Little Different Each Time

When I was 15, I had this boyfriend that had a disease which made his mind and memory deteriorate as well as physically his joints stopped working (I don't remember what it's called...) I remember watching him go to surgery constantly.... And it felt like with every surgery, and with every dosage of pain meds he got angrier and angrier.... And loved me, and life, less and less.

trhowabay

Staying Strong For Years, Until You No Longer Can

My grandma...she grew up in a pretty poor area in Portugal, her and my grandfather built a restaurant from scratch and it became very successful.

Now she's almost 90, battled cancer and now has Alzheimer's. My grandfather passed away last year, and now she's all alone (my aunt that lives in Portugal takes good care of her), but what's really breaking my heart is when we call and she will repeat the same things over and over again, she was an amazing chef and the restaurant became popular because of her meals, and now she tried to fry yogurt as she thinks that's how you do it.

She cannot remember basic tasks, and very recently she did not recognise my sister, which our grandmother raised for about 10 years.

It's sad, seeing someone so strong and full of life...forgot how to do basic things, our minds are amazing but once they go...f-ck man.

yoohereiam

Shifting Careers

I watched my ex wife slowly spiral down and I didn't even realize it. She was never really "stable" and had a family history of mental illness. Apparently she started cheating on me and never had the strength to tell me or get a divorce and the constant lying and being on edge that I would find out at any minute really got to her (this was over the course of a year). Towards the end she would "rock" every time she sat and bit her nails till they bled. Currently she is maxed out on a host of meds and it takes everything she has to got to work as a janitor and come home. Her father is her "guardian" and helps her pay bills and stuff.

She often denies past events or alters them if they were unpleasant (she is very adamant that they are real). Her father broke down and told me this a month ago and actually recommend that I not encourage our kids to visit her (I would never prevent them from seeing their mother). So in the course of a of 5 years she went from a fit dental hygienist with a promising career and host of friends to an overweight janitor with no friends who can't even pay her own rent or buy groceries. I do admire her for going to work every day and trying.

gimme3strokes

No More World Domination

Watched my grandfather slowly sink into Alzheimer's. By the end he didn't know my name or his own. He was sad and angry and confused. I watched every week as he forgot a little more. Got a little more belligerent. A little more lost. Until one day I walked in and he started screaming that someone was there to rob him. It was the saddest f-cking thing I've ever seen.

I have such vivid memories of watching him and my uncles have such animated debates about politics and movies and sports. They used to play Risk until the sun came up listening to Sinatra. He would sit and explain every single play in a baseball game to me as a kid. He was sharp as f-ck and the saddest and hardest part was watching the struggle on his face to remember. The frustration he felt. Like he was letting us down. I miss him a lot.

C-ntyMcGiggles

A Meteoric Descent

My younger brother died from a drug overdose last month. He used for the first time in march. In 7 short months I watched my best friend become someone I didn't recognize, someone I couldn't even hold a conversation with anymore. It wasn't a slow deterioration, it was a meteoric descent into a drug fuelled madness.

He lied about anything and everything, even things that made zero sense to lie about, used nicknames from our childhood that we hadn't used in years, would forget what we were talking about mid-conversation. It was like he was replaced with a near identical but slightly off version of my brother. It was and still is heart breaking. I mourn him but at the end I didn't know him anymore.

Turkeybaconisheresy

When It Takes An Illness To Form A Bond

My sister passed away earlier this year and she was sick for a long time. During the last few months you could tell that it was becoming harder for her to think and respond. Paradoxically it actually made her a lot nicer to me. We had never had a great relationship and I always believed she hated me but during those last few months she said very few unkind things to me. It was hard to know that the only time we ever really got along was right before she passed away.

Natrl20

From Thoughts To Scribbles

I worked in a care facility for people who suffer from dementia.

This was a very rewarding and enjoyable job but at times it could be confronting and sad, as you'd expect. One story that stuck with me was this lady who'd write in her booklet and always left it open. She didn't care to keep it a secret or anything but I would make sure to keep personal posessions private as much as I could while cleaning the rooms. So I'd close the little book and put it in her desk where she could find it.

It's something I could relate to. I have my own little books and enjoy writing as well and appreciate it when people respect my privacy.

I wouldn't read the contents but I saw the phrases go from sentences, to repeated words, to scribbles. Eventually, she became too confused to put pen to paper. Opening and closing the booklet, carefully touching the paper, but she couldn't quite figure it out anymore. Eventually giving up.

This really hit home to me, as I knew how therapeutic it could be to organise your thoughts on paper. I write when I'm sad or overwhelmed. The thought of her being unable to when she might have needed the outlet still stings.

LevelJoy

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The Weirdest Reasons Guys Suddenly Lost Interest In A Crush

Reddit user Romeothanh asked: 'Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it?'

coffee date
Jonathan J. Castellon/Unsplash

Infatuation is a curious thing.

One moment, you can be swept up in major adoration for someone to such a degree that you can't stop thinking about them.

But the next moment, you may suddenly find yourself moving on.

What is it that drives someone to lose their lust for their former object of affection?

Curious to hear from strangers who experienced going from hot to cold in casual dating, Redditor Romeothanh asked:

"Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it??"

Questionable behaviors were seen as major turn-offs.

Poor Parenting

"The way she treated her children, her boy was permitted everything and her daughter had to follow very strict rules."

"I didn't have to ask to know what was going on, the boy's real father wasn't her ex-husband but a guy she had an affair with at work, her daughter was really from her ex-husband. She was always resentful of her upbringing and then her marriage for impeding some kind of dreamed life she thought she was entitled to. So the boy was seen as a piece of that dream and the girl was a piece of her boring life but she was also reliving her childhood through her and pushing her to excel in sports, school and manners and reveling in her daughter's accomplishments as if they were hers."

– Telesto1087

Past Grievances

"She accused me of cheating on her in a past life."

"I told her 'I don’t remember that.'”

– Breloren

"Sounds like something someone who cheated in a past life would say!"

– thefirecrest

At Least She Washes Her Hands...

"She spat in her hands and rubbed them together because she 'needed to wash them.' I cannot describe the colossal speed at which that switch turned off."

– whitesebastian

"Was she some sort of 1930’s farm hand or construction worker?"

– valueduser

There were some serious red flags.

Schadenfreude

"A elderly gentlemen fell in front of us, he took a nasty fall."

"She found it hilarious, instead of helping she just stood there laughing. I helped that person out and I felt so embarrassed for her behavior."

"Also that was the last time I saw her. It was a major turn off for me."

– oxide-NL

Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy

"I invited the girl from my psych course I'd been vibing with to a party. Her car rolled up and I came out to greet her, but it was a dude's car, and she was drunkenly making out with him as I walked up. I didn't flip out or anything, but she slurred her way through some weird attempt at reassuring me that I shouldn't worry, 'cause she was only sleeping with him to punish him because he was a bad guy (apparently that's a thing she does), and that I was a good guy. I didn't ask what happened to good guys. I felt bad for her date, whom she completely ignored the rest of the night. As for the girl, she ended up totally engrossed with the party host's gerbil, tapping on the glass of its cage whispering how she wanted to kill it. I found somewhere new to sit in psych class for the rest of the semester."

– MissionofQorma

I'm Generous And You're Gonna Like It

"She kept buying me stuff. It was nice at first but she kept doing it weekly and demanded I give gifts in return. I asked her to stop and she said "nope this is what I do." Felt like she didn't even care about what I wanted."

– Dry-Enthusiasm3515

Easiest Breakup Ever

"It was a really horrible relationship even this aside but my 'wow i think i actually hate this person' moment was when we were at Badlands National Park. We were just walking out of the gift shop with some other woman when she just let go of the door and it like slammed into that womans face. I said to her 'omg im so sorry' then when we got to the car i said to my gf in like a joking tone 'i cant beliehe you didnt hold the door for her haha' and because she was a very very miserable person all the time this makes her mad and she goes 'well YOURE the man youre supposed to hold the door. I dont NEED to hold the door for anybody' and yeah that one statement alone was very... eye opening for me."

"Seriously the easiest least heartbreaking break up ive ever gone through."

– ILoveTikkaMasala

The Cat Recognized Evil

"My cat didn't like her."

"Brought her home to introduce her to my parents, she meets my childhood cat and. It. Goes. Psychotic. Just for her reaching down to pat him, he panicked, attached himself to her arm, and wouldn't let go, just clawing at her like he found a demon to fight or something. When he eventually detached himself (they were both running around the room screaming as she tried to wave him off her arm) I checked her over and he did some damage. He's never reacted like that to anyone before or since. We broke it off shortly later."

"I found out a few years ago she was in the court system. Why? She tried to kill her own kid. I didn't dodge a bullet because of my cat, I dodged an artillery shell."

– GryphonicOwl

It's not me, it's you.

So Rude

"She didn’t hold the door open to people just meeting her at the door, would let it slam on people behind her, didn’t do the little thank you wave to other cars that let her out, didn’t say please and thank you to serving staff. She wasn’t overtly rude, she just had a bit of a me,me,me vibe."

– Hellenicparadise

Norwegian Love

"She told me she was pregnant and it was mine, 2 days after sleeping with me for the first (and only) time. Then proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend."

"I should have twigged earlier really. She flew from Norway to sleep with me and flew back the next day."

– Perseus73

Face Reveal

"I’d been talking to this girl in class I thought was really cool. We ended up going for a bite after class one day and she suggested we go hang out in my dorm room. Hell yeah."

"Then she took off her glasses and she looked exactly like my mom. It was so jarring I excused myself to the bathroom to regroup, but when I came back I couldn’t unsee my mom’s face on her."

"I made some lame excuse and went back alone. I felt bad about bailing on her but I also how the hell would I tell her the real reason? Either she thinks I’m a weirdo or thinks I’m saying she looks like she’s in her fifties."

– OneSmoothCactus

Don't Speak

"My mate ghosted a girl simply because he didn't like her cadence when she spoke."

– Random-chick-98

My shallowest moment was years ago when I ghosted a hot tennis player I was dating because he had a particularly annoying gait.

Anytime we would walk around the city (in New York), he would gradually lean into me and prevent us from walking a straight path.

I thought he was deliberately trying to get close but it turned out that one of his legs was shorter than the other resulting in him taking uneven steps.

When he explained his situation, it weirded me out.

I didn't have the heart to tell him why I could no longer see him, so I just stopped responding to his incessant messages about when we were meeting next.

I remain regretful to this day about my immature behavior, and I wish him the best wherever he is.

golden balance weighing scale

Piret Ilver on Unsplash

A double standard is defined as:

"a code or policy that favors one group or person over another"

However not all double standards are formalized. Most of the double standards individuals face daily are based on customs, stereotypes, traditions or other less formal societal codes of conduct.

Double standards are inherently unfair to one or sometimes both parties.

They may exert control or compliance with gender or socioeconomic stereotypes on everyone or serve to repress one group while favoring the other. But they shouldn't be confused with all unequal rules.

The sign at the amusement park that says "you must be this tall to ride" is there for a very good reason.

Double standards fail to pass any logic test, with some being more ridiculous than others.

Keep reading...Show less
classroom scene of middle school students with frustrated male teacher

Taylor Flowe on Unsplash

When picking a career, it's a good idea to talk to people who have been in the professions you're considering for quite some time.

My parents wanted me to become a doctor, but I was ambivalent to the idea.

My discussions with veteran doctors convinced me there was no way I wanted to go into medicine.

So what are some other not so great jobs?

Keep reading...Show less
photo of woman holding white and black paper bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When I started college, I had every intention of cooking all my meals. It became very apparent very quickly that I simply didn't have the time to accomplish this, and I became the Takeout Queen.

I ordered food constantly. Between getting a monthly "allowance" from my dad (intended to go towards groceries), finding coupons taped to my apartment door everyday, and essentially being "allowed" to tip less than handsomely since I was a college student, I was able to afford this.

When I graduated and moved into my own place, things changed. I was too old to not tip properly, I didn't get any supplementary money from my family, and I had more expenses, such as rent. Still, I continued to order food, and it became my main expense.

My friends tell me the way I order food is only meant for "rich people." I have to skimp on everything else in order to have enough saved to support this. It's definitely true, but I don't think this habit will ever change.

I'm not the only one that does "rich people stuff." Redditors do lots of things that is classified that way, despite not being rich, and they are ready to share their stories.

It all started when Redditor Abbas_Noorani 16 asked:

"What is some rich sh*t you do even though you are not rich?"

Ravenous

"Food. I buy what I want and I try new stuff. I like cooking."

– 34i79s

"Grocery shopping without concern for budget is what made me realize I had made it back in the day. Good times."

"Now I have hard budgets again and it truly sucks. You question every damn decision and convince yourself to do without or downgrade to the lowest priced quality."

– txmail

"On the same boat. The other day I looked at expensive butter that I used to stock up on without even thinking twice and sighed."

– cat101786

Monthly

"Forget to cancel my free trial."

– Adept_Insurance5550

"Damn. Thanks for the reminder."

– -Bk7

"I'm still a member of AOL."

– __SpeedRacer__

Too Hot

"I leave the fridge door open when getting the butter out even though my dad said it would cost billions and send us to the streets."

– frank-sarno

"I leave the front door open when I pop out to grab my mail. Took me years of living on my own to realize the AC bill doesn’t shoot up by hundreds of dollars if I do that."

– MelodramaticQuarter

Necessities

"Buy the good toilet paper."

– FrankGehryNuman

"Absolutely!"

"Good toilet paper. Can't stand cheapo toilet paper, you give yourself a surprise when your finger goes through the paper when wiping your chuff. Don't get me started on that stuff they used to have in hospitals! It was awful - sandpaper that didn't soak up but rather moved stuff 🤐"

– helensmelon

Clean And Sweep

"I have a maid that comes weekly. I've found that my sanity is worth the cost."

– Eringobraugh2021

"Weekly? Oo la la!"

– a**ypantz72

Comfort Matters

"My thermostat stays at the temperature setting of what is most comfortable to me and nothing will change that."

– Cyb3rTruk

"Lol this really outlined how different climates can be. My thought was "Yeah, I'm going to be as cozy and warm as I want and not freeze in the comfort of my own home.""

– McCoyIsFun

Double

"Some days I have two sandwiches at lunch. I smile as I watch all my fellow proletariat eating their single sandwich."

– ShambolicPaul

"Brotip: Cut your sandwich an infinite number of times and rearrange the pieces into two full sandwiches. Don't give your money away to Big Sandwich!"

– NotInherentAfterAll

Sparkling

"Paying for car cleaning."

– angydevil

"Justified, tho my dad would kill me."

– Abbas_Noorani

The Big Cheese

"I sometimes buy name brand cheese instead of the store brand."

– NeuroguyNC

"Tillamook or nothing for me! I’ll buy store brand beans and paper towels and other stuff. But not for my cheese!"

– VariegatedThumb

Replenish

"We have a garage fridge that is full of all different kinds of beverages."

– SixStinkyFingers

"It's not the fridge itself, it's keeping it stocked!"

– 4x32Studio

A House Is A Home

"I own a house...."

– 1d0m1n4t3

"Oh damn rich people sh*t."

– Abbas_Noorani

"We shouldn't be able to joke about owning a modest home being rich people sh*t. Anyone who works full time should be able to afford a home."

– 1d0m1n4t3

Write Better

"I buy the gel comfort pens. Makes me feel I'm a higher class when writing at work. Smooth crisp consistent ink."

– UltraCoolPimpDaddy

"I have gotten into arguments over people stealing my G2 .07."

– savvyspoon2

Me Too!

"I buy small trash bags for the bathroom trash bins. My whole family uses grocery bags, but I don’t like how they always rip at the bottom."

– Deleted User

It's Required!

"No Margarine in my house, Butter Only, and lots of it. My arteries think I'm rich."

– weisblattsnut

Unused

"I have HBO but I don’t watch it."

– MillionToOneShotDoc

"I have Netflix, Prime, Hulu, and Disney Plus. Don’t watch any of it. Watch YouTube all the time and I’m too stupid to get Premium."

– AngryDerf

Now, that's the definition of having money to burn!

Of course, I wouldn't know. I need to save money for my food!