People Who Have Been Pulled Over Share Their Wittiest Replies To Cops

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No one likes to see those flashing lights in their rearview mirror. But it happens and usually when it does, you'll hear a familiar question. But have you ever wondered what the answers to that question are?

Reddit user hellomireaux asked:

Cops of Reddit, what's the best response you've heard to "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

These are some of the best responses. You may not want to try these the next time you see those flashing lights though.

Laughter Is the Best Medicine

Back in the 70's, (my dad) and a friend were speeding way too fast down a highway. Cop saw, turned on the lights, but my dad's friend didn't pull over; instead, he leaned out of the car, waved his arm, and shouted" GO AROUND YOU'VE GOT ROOM!" Apparently the cop heard it and laughed his a** off, gave my dad's friend a warning.  mrfluckoff

Mr. Rogers?

'Pull over.'

'What?'

'Pull over.'

'It's a cardigan but thanks for asking!'  Niko422

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Safety First

Back in high school there was a night I was riding shotgun in a friend's car when he gets pulled over by Highway Patrol...

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"No sir..."

"Well, I clocked you at almost 100 MPH in a 65, didn't you think that might be why?"

"I didn't know how fast I was going..."

"Why didn't you know how fast you were going?"

"I was going so fast, I was afraid that if I looked down to check my speed, I'd wreck my car."

Cop got a good laugh, gave a very stern warning, and wrote a significantly smaller ticket than my buddy otherwise would have gotten.  Hateborn 

Mr. Dad

My Dad told me about a time during the troubles in Northern Ireland him and his brother were in his Dad's Car. They were stopped at a military checkpoint. Soldier said to him "Is this your Car Sir?" he replied "No, its my father's." The Solider then asked "What would you call (your father-asking for his name)?" My uncle said "Daddy." He let them go.  JagerbombsFTW

Is This Solicitation?

Pulled over by a cop who was gonna tell me my tailgate was down on my truck, and thus my nightstand I was carrying was gonna go flying out.

But I hadn't known this. So when he pulls me over, he decided to ask me the infamous question.

To which my smart a** responded: "Because I'm hauling a one night stand that you wanted to be a part of?" And gave a cheesy grin. Zack4568

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Race Ya!

My uncle lives in a small town in South Carolina, where he makes a 25 minute commute to work, everyday, passing a regional airport. One day he was passing it when a plane started taking off. For whatever reason, he decided to see who was faster, the plane or his '91 Toyota Tacoma. He takes off for a solid 200 yards, then starts to slow back down. Looks in his rearview to blue lights. Cop pulls him over, license and registration, yada-yada, the cop then asks 'Mr. Williams, could you tell me why you were going 15 over the speed limit?' He replies: 'See that plane taking off up there? I was racing it.' The cop looks at the plane, then at him, back at the plane, then back at him with a puzzled look, and finally says: 'You have a good one Mr. Williams.' hops in the car and leaves.  MantisTobogganMD28

In 30 Minutes or Less

There was a narrow, dark, two lane road with a 35mph limit.

I clocked a car going 95.

I stopped it. It was a 16 year old girl delivering Dominoes pizza.

She was 100% calm and composed when she asked: "Is there a problem officer?"

Still got a ticket, but insta-respect and lulz.  affenhitze

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Not Even 1 Traffic Light

We come from a country town with no traffic lights so one time (my dad) got pulled over in the city for running a red light, he told the officer 'sorry I'm just not used to traffic lights I'm from [insert name of town]' and apparently the cop laughed and let him go on his way.  itslucy99

No, I Don't Know

I was in the car with my daughter when she got pulled (over) a little while back. When he asked her if she knew why he had pulled her (over), her response--which got a laugh, but didn't get her out of the ticket--was, "Not really, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you're gonna tell me."  UncleJay74

I (Also) Don't Know

The one and only time I was pulled over I had no idea why. So that's what I said, "I don't know". Turns out I was speeding without meaning to because the signs were confusing.

Basically it was a construction zone and it said speed was 55 or whatever. Then there was a sign that said "end construction, resume normal speed" so I did. Except apparently the construction zone wasn't "over" despite the signs. Which I explained to the cop. I said, "I know I was speeding then, technically, but the signs tell you to resume normal speed back there but if you give me a ticket I won't argue about it." So he leaves for about ten minutes and comes back and says, "I know what you're talking about they need to fix that. Just keep it slow if you see construction gear on the road." No ticket and left.

I was glad because I was going 70 (This was on a toll road so that was the  normal speed limit) but it could have been double the fines. Thank God the cop agreed the signs were confusing.  GingerSnoop

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Logical

Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over"

Me: "Because you're a cop"  BrostFyte

Body of Evidence

If I had guts, I would say:  "Have you found the body?" But I don't.

My mom did something like that when she got pulled over. She had just finished putting in a bush for my grandmother and threw the muddy shovel in the back. She got pulled over for speeding and when the cop came to the window and saw the shovel her asked her. "Ma'am, where are you coming from". She saw him look back at the shovel when he said that and she told him. "I just got done hiding the body!" and she started cackling. The cop without even cracking a smirk just told her that he hopes she buried it deep enough and walked back to his cruiser. DarthFikus  Chopperjr

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Take a Breath

Got pulled in for a routine breathaliser test as there was football the night before and a lot of people would've been drinking. He asks me if I had been drinking last night, and I said yes. I had six shandy's (half lager, half lemonade). I can see him thinking of how good this arrest would be on paper, so I blow in the tube and the reading comes back as negative - no alcohol in my system. He said it's clear, and I said "I should hope so, it said it was non-alcoholic on the cans".

He wasn't happy.  sgtBerbatov

Mist-heard

Officer: You were driving far too fast for the conditions sir! What would you do if Mr. Fog came along?

Sarcastic Driver: I suppose I would press Mr. Brake and slow down.

Officer: I said "Mist or Fog" you a**hat.  Creabhain

Get Me to the Church on Time

Not me but a family friend. He was going 100km in a 50 or 60km zone. Cop asked him why he was going so fast. He was supposed to bring the guest book for a wedding and left it at home. He was on his way back to the wedding with it. Cop let him off with a warning, but only after she signed the guest book.  Rallings

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True Confessions

Was with my grandpa in his truck. He was caught doing 25km over the limit (105 in a 80) cop asked him "why were you going 105 in a 80 zone sir" his response? "Because I'm a idiot"  kablah1

True Confessions, Part 2

Went through a straight red light while the advanced turn-left green was on. A cop beside me and behind me. Halfway through the intersection I realised what I did and pulled myself over on the next block and waited for them to pull up beside me.

"You have anything to drink tonight?"

"No, I am just an idiot."

"Have a good night."  JibberGXP

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Charge It

I was in the vehicle when an acquaintance got pulled over. This kid was about 21, really nervous, and when the police officer asked for ID he accidentally handed the cop his credit card.

The police officer, without changing his stern expression or missing a beat, leaned forward and said "Sorry son, but we don't take Visa. Have you been drinking?".  throwawaytrumper

Better Dead Than...

I was pulled over earlier this year for going 48 in a 35 down one of the main roads here. It was my 30 minute lunch break and I had about 3 minutes left of it.

"Any particular reason you're speeding sir?"

"Yea sorry, I'm about to be late for work."

"Well sir, would work rather you be late or dead?"

"Probably dead, it's an (acceptable) excuse."

Got a laugh and a warning.  Toogoode1019

Expert

Lady I knew told me she argued with the cop that she knew the speed limits better than him. She told the cop he pulled her over because she was driving too fast. Cop says yes, got you doing 40 in a 30 zone. She said she was going 45 and knew the road was 25 because she lived there her whole life. The cop wrote it all down and have her a ticket.  FreeTurtleMarket

Permission Granted

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Because I let you."  Ruler_of_thumbs

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