Whatever your reasoning for going out to eat, a restaurant should provide a sense of comfort, like a "home away from kitchen." A good meal and welcome staff should be par for the course when you walk in the doors. We tend to remember an eating establishment for all the wrong reasons when it doesn't meet those standards, especially the food.
Reddit user, erdaca, wanted to hear the worst of the worst when they asked:
What's the worst food you've ever been served at a restaurant (let's think Kitchen Nightmares)?
That Eatery Was Never Going To Last Long
Went to a pizza place that had just opened near my work. We were the only ones there, which should have been a red flag. I ordered a calzone, and my wife ordered a salad.
Waited about 45 minutes for the food, with no waiter or other employee in sight. I walked into the kitchen to ask about our food, and they said it would be out in a minute. About 15 minute later, they bring my calzone, no salad. I cut it open, and it is very undercooked - raw dough, cold, unmelted cheese, and the sausage is still frozen. Go back to the kitchen again, they say the chef will be right out.
He comes out and asks what is wrong - I show him the calzone and ask about the salad. He says "we don't sell salad." At that point, we got up and left.
Long story short - it's a 5 guys now.
Pick Your Battles
Giphy
When I was around 10, a McDonald's hamburger with a large chunk of splintery, soggy wood in the patty. My mom took it back to the counter and got a replacement, but I wouldn't eat it.
The manager later came over and gave me an apple pie.
That, I ate.
A Point Of Pride With Your Buddies
Taco Bell Nacho Bell Grande, wasn't me but my mom. She got about 2/3 of the way through the thing and found a whole molar sitting in cheese, a human molar. It was so big with the root and all, about made me puke.
We called them they asked us to bring it back, my dad refused and stuck it in the freezer for the GM to stop by and look at it. Not sure if he ever did, I was already grown but I remember it being in the freezer for awhile and showing my friends when we stopped by.
At Least They Were Evenly Distributed? Right?
I got a frozen margarita in Venice Beach a few years ago. There were small pieces of hair evenly distributed through the drink where the hair had clearly been chopped and mixed throughout in a blender. We tell the waitress about it and she responds that the bartender is bald.
We look back by the bar and there is a bald man with a ZZ Top sized beard working.
A Fly Trap Bowl
Giphy
Big Bowl.
My lettuce wraps had about a dozen dead insects in them. The meat was also undercooked.
Never been back.
At Least He Tried? Right?
A chef once tried to improvise something vegetarian for me - he proceeded to defrost some wok-vegetables in a microwave, add it to a slice of dry bread and charge me 10$ for it.
Hard To Argue With Evidence
My uncle got a wingnut in his pasta and the restaurant staff blamed him and our table for planting it to try to get comped (because it wasn't noticed right away). Of course their story didn't work out when a chef came out with a rolodex that was missing a wingnut.
It's Another Bad Pizza Story
I love pizza. All pizza. Delisio to delivery. I've never had pizza I absolutely hated. Even if it wasn't the best pizza, it was still good enough to eat.
Well, last weekend I made my boyfriend pull into this little mom and pop pizza shop and grab us some slices. He comes back in the car and hands me our slices to hold. I peek in the bag and I'm like "oh no...this pizza is gunna suck I can tell".
I take a bite and am immediately repulsed. It's disgusting. I'm kind of chewing it up slowly and he's like give me my slice! No way it's that bad. He takes a bite and is like holy sh-t that is foul. I literally can't continue to eat the rest of this pizza and spit it out the window.
I am not exaggerating when I say I've never in my life had pizza I couldn't tolerate...this pizza was something else entirely.
It tasted rotten, the dough was like a weirdly flaky pastry dough. The cheese was so sparse and stale. Too much sauce. I'm sure it had been sitting for a bit and was reheated but I've had reheated pizza before and it wasn't even close to as bad as that f-cking pizza was.
He Misheard Us Say "Salt and Pepper"
It wasn't at a restaurant specifically. But at a gathering.
An old man was grilling some beefs outside and these beefs were full of hairs...black and white ones.
I've had one and didn't want to eat anymore when I looked at my beef and so my colleagues had hairs too. Everyone was eating no matter what 😃
It Clucked Its Last Cluck
I ordered a fried chicken sandwich. It was actually a "handshake" sandwich. Picture a piece of fried chicken with a chicken foot still intact and deep fried.
I have never been so mortified in my life. Look it up if you want to see!
When You Know What You're In For, But You Still Go
There used to be this place called The Hurricane in Seattle. They were infamous and people went there on purpose because of how bad it was. The crowd was grungy as f-ck and awesome. Usually it was an eclectic mix of people from all over the city after a night out drinking.
But to give an example of the food, I got an omelette there once, and it was pretty clear they'd just cooked egg into a large pancake and then wrapped it around all the uncooked fillings after the fact. Center was completely cold. The Kraft singles used for the cheese sat unmelted on raw veggies and mushrooms. The meat was ham so hey! It was pre-cooked! Also cold. And the eggs were a rubbery mess. I ate it anyway.
I miss that place. It was a really entertaining sh-tshow.
Use For Cleanup Later
My mom once got nachos that had a rubber glove hidden under the chips. It was clearly placed there by a disgruntled employee.
Wet Burrito. Just. Ugh.
I got a breakfast burrito from some 24-hour diner and it came on a plate that had a good centimeter of dish water still on it...like, the burrito was sitting in a puddle on the plate. It arrived completely soggy.
I can't even fathom how they managed this unless it was intentional, someone had to have just plopped said burrito on a wet dish that was sitting in the sink or something. Needless to say, the group I was with was disgusted and we all got up and left our food without paying.
Least The Dishes Were Clean
Giphy
I've received noodles with pieces of steel wool sponge in them. I guess at least the pots and pans were clean?
That's A Stinger
Never really had bad food at a restaurant but I once ordered french fries and there was a fried bee in them. To be fair there were bees everywhere in that island we were at so it wasn't too surprising.
That's The Color Of Chicken, Yeah?
When I was around 10 or so my family and I went to an Applebee's after a basketball game and I bit into my chicken tender and it was rock hard. Pulled the breading off and it was green on the inside...
Who Can Tell The Difference?
"Donut" that was a bagel with icing on it.
"Chicken Foccacia" that was a folded pizza base with fried chicken inside.
And They STILL Go Back
I got horrific food poisoning at Taco Time when I was pretty young, but I don't remember what I ate. The one I remember was biscuits and gravy from a restaurant I'm a regular at, and the biscuits were about the texture of the plate. It was pretty shocking because I'm a regular for a reason.
The owner was horrified when I pointed it out to him. Apparently they'd hired a new cook and the newbie forgot the baking powder in the biscuits that day. He comped me some pancakes instead.
I'm still a regular.
And On This Day, We Were Cursed To Find...
One time I got a pizza from a local place my family has been frequenting since forever. But on this one day, as I bit into my second slice of pizza, I noticed a mystery ingredient in the crust. Some b-tch baked a legit f-cking hairball into the dough of my pizza.
Not a single hair, not a small cluster.
A f-cking hairball
There will be hair toupee!
At Least The Kids Had Fun? Right?
On a school trip (quite a while back), the class went to a restaurant all together. Forgot all the choices, but I remember the one that matters, the chicken. Each serving was half a chicken, all right, nice big portion, no problem so far. It was really dry, not good, but we can muster through. This is where the fun starts. Two guys found spider carcasses in their chicken pretty soon into the dinner. Acutely, the majority of us either shove the plate away from them, while others explore their chicken. One classmate, who hasn't yet taken a single bite, and shoved their plate away went hysteric... As a still alive spider crawled out from under his chicken.
Not recommended, but a fun experience altogether
What's the worst meal you've ever had? Share it with us!
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
GIF by VIASWEATGiphy"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
rachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
Happy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
Black Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.
Don't ask...
A Late Run
Tom Hanks Running GIFGiphy"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."
TopOcelot13
Beefed
"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."
TheRockMan31
"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"
livesarah
'is it that obvious'
"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"
apocalypticradish
Yummy
Hungry Taco Bell GIFGiphy"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."
Nobody_Wins_13
I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.
Mrs. Robinson?
Seduce Dustin Hoffman GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphy"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."
Rhalellan
And you are?
"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"
"My name is not Maribel."
tikkichik21
"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."
Brendanlendan
Go
"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."
Caramel_Cappucino
"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."
L8NiGHTFLiGHT
second time...
"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."
olivinemultichrome
Gross
Paris Hilton Reaction GIFGiphy"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."
"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."
barontayto
Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?
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But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
Dad Time
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
– thecountnotthesaint
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
– SuvenPan
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
– Blue_OG_46
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
– hottytoddy_sko
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
– batchofbetterbutter
Some people need to get out of the house.
Self Therapy
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
– Humble-Plankton2217
Solo Slice
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
– sohumsahm
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
– foh242
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
Smooch Ploy
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
– str8outofabook
Catching Zzzs
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
– ricdesi
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
– he-whoeatsbugs
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
– Dewahll
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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