The only thing that's guaranteed in life (besides taxes) is death. It's safe to say that we all have most likely flirted with death at some point in our lives, and some of us came a little closer to kicking the bucket than others. Here are some of the most insane near-death experiences that Reddit has to offer.
u/ITotallyDoNotWhale asked: [Serious] What is your "I was THAT close to dying" moment?
Theatre is a deadly sport.
Was a theatre tech in high school. One of the techs was showing the new girl how to use the fly system (a hanging pipe that you hang things on, clouds, airplane, etc). When you bring the fly down, you yell "fly down!" and everyone who hears it echoes it, so everyone quickly knows it's coming down. You also drop it slowly.
Well, I was working center stage, right under the fly. She didn't say "fly down!" until she had already dropped it, and she just let it fall really fast until it was hip height from the ground.
If I would have stepped forward or back, instead of right, I would be dead. Luckily I stepped right and just stared at her. She knew.
Where's that Disney magic when you need it?
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What I remember: I'm 11 yrs old, playing outside, and it starts to rain. I wake up in the hospital 3 days later.
What happened: Lightning struck the ground next to me. I was knocked unconscious, thrown into the air, my heart stopped, paramedics used CPR and a defibrillator to bring me back.
I'm all grown up now with the only long term effect being I have no memories of that summer before being struck. Which kind of sucks because that was the summer we went to Disneyland.
Ouch.
A car almost drove me over intentionally when I was cycling. I sprinted out of there as fast as possible and to this day I have no idea why he did it.
Oh my god. I have a friend who was cycling on a side road in my rural town. Someone rear ended him, then slammed on the breaks before running him over. Then they just reversed and went on their way without stopping at all. Had he been badly injured he would've been in A LOT of trouble and might have even died.
Enjoy every day.
05/10/2019 I was rear ended by a dump truck. In a coma for 42 days and now I can't walk. I'm immuno suppressed and breathing is compromised so who knows what the future holds. Life is good people so enjoy every day.
Sh*t, I remember when I was almost rear ended by a dump truck. I looked in my rear vision mirror to see one coming at me at like 80kph while I was stopped in a traffic queue. I just stared and assumed I was about to die. He slammed on his brakes and swerved into the next lane, tyres smoking. I feel so lucky. I wrote an email to the company outlining what happened and telling them to thank the driver for his quick reaction.
I hope it gets better for you, mate.
That must have been terrifying.
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I was 8 years old and it was mid summer and it felt great out in the mornings, so I decided to go do kid stuff outside. I started climbing a tree in my front yard up to the point I had always gone to, but for some reason that day I decided to go as high as I possibly could. The tree was on the part of my lawn past the sidewalk and against the street, and at this point I'm 25 feet above the pavement.
I go to grab a branch that was too brittle and fall all 25 feet onto the concrete, snapping my left wrist (CF), getting holes and tears on my lungs, and rupturing my spleen. Before I went into surgery (keep in mind I was EIGHT), I overheard the doctor tell my parents they didn't think I'd survive through the surgery. One of the scariest things a kid could possibly hear.
How agonizing.
Almost ten years ago I was suffering from stomach pain. At the time I was drinking vodka daily and didn't have any direction in my life. I was still living at home and it finally came to the point where it was obvious that the drinking wasn't the problem. I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with diverticulitis. I waited so long to be treated that I was as pale as a ghost and required emergency surgery to correct the problem.
After all that happened I took better care of myself but just recently I was taken to the hospital again for severe stomach pains. I required emergency surgery again to correct a hernia that formed and was cutting off blood to my lower intestines. I had to have more of my lower intestines removed to get rid of all the dead tissue.
Both experiences were terrible and I felt like I was on my deathbed for both of them.
What an a**hole cousin.
So, when I was about six, I was at a pool with my mom, aunt and entitled cousin. He wanted to swim on a inflatable alligator I was on, so he just pushed me off it and I was there, drowning at the bottom of the pool. He didn't give a flying f*ck about me dying down there. Thank God, my aunt noticed I was gone and that bubbles coming out from water. She then realised what was going on and saved me.
Fun fact: My cousin didn't even get grounded for that.
That's so scary.
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Caught in an avalanche and trapped under snow for ~6 hours.
As stupid as it sounds, I was able to get to my cell phone in my pocket (took me about an hour to get to it though), and call 911.
My battery was low, but I was able to tell them where I was. They sent search and rescue who came and dug me out.
Considering chance of survival past a few minutes is exceptionally low, I got super lucky.
The nurse is a hero.
I was born with a cleft palate, which is a birth defect that can prevent a child from eating and talking properly and can cause the child to starve to death if the birth defect isn't identified and the child isn't given the correct feeding equipment. The doctor on staff to identify my birth defect had left to play golf right before I was born, and the nurses weren't qualified to diagnose me with a cleft palate and give me the proper feeding equipment.
I guess the organization at the hospital was horrible, because about 2 and a half days after I was born no one had diagnosed me, and thus I had not been fed. Eventually one of the nurses found out what was going on and fed me using the proper equipment, but because she was not qualified to make that decision she was fired. If I had been allowed to starve for just a few more hours, I would have died.
That nurse's decision cost her her job but gave me my life, and any time I'm considering suicide I remember that. Thank you, whoever you are, for the gift of life. It just shows you how important doing the right thing is, no matter what the repercussions are.
TheMostMajesticSquidThat's brutal.
A few years ago, I thought I got a bad case of strep throat, the usual: felt like swallowing razor blades. Figured I could just muscle my way through it, so I waited it out for a few weeks until it became so severe it was impacting my ability to make it to my college courses. So I finally swallowed my pride, put my wallet on the line, and went to the doctor; turned out it wasn't strep, I had a peritonsillar abscess at the back of my throat. The doctor said it was the clearest she'd ever seen one, even asked me to let her nurses take a look at it so they could identify it later. Then I got sent off to a doctor in the ER, two of his nurses diagnosed it as an abscess, he said it wasn't an abscess, gave me a shot in the butt and sent me on my way.
Two days later, I had to go see an ENT specialist who, again, reiterated that it was one of the largest, ugliest abscesses he'd ever seen and that I was lucky to have made it in in time: another day or two and he told me the abscess would've swollen enough to clog my throat and I would've suffocated. Got it drained, but the abscess became recurrent and I had to get it drained multiple times, more difficult each time.
At last, the doctors decide to just cut out my tonsils, and recovery from that was brutal. A few times, I start to cough and bleed out of my throat, try to muscle through it, each time I call the doctor to make sure I'm alright. Finally, they tell me if it happens again, I need to make sure I come in to see the doctor, as it'll be dangerous.
Well, less than twelve hours later, my tonsils start bleeding again. I don't have many of the pictures anymore, but my bathroom looked like a murder scene: I was coughing up huge amounts of blood, it got all over the walls, all over the sink, all over the counter and the floor. The ambulance showed up and brought me to the hospital and they had to give me bags to spit the blood up into, and I filled up like 5-6. They had to put me on fluids because it was so bad. Every time it started to coagulate, I'd cough, and the blood would start flowing again, and let me tell you: it's awful. You can feel, and taste, the blood coming up your throat, and the little coagulated chunks only make it worse. They ended up having to put me under and cauterize the wound, and it was a brutal experience all around.
Yikes.
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It's not dramatic as you think, but also crazy af. When I was in high school, I got choked unconscious by another girl.
Some people would refer to her as a yandere or stalker. She would catch my bus home and catch the same bus to school by staying at her friends house even though she lived on the other side of the city 10+ km away. One day I rejected her, and the next day she came in with a ribbon. She said she had something to show me, and took me to this underpass at school that was relatively unpopular. She then fiber-wired me with the ribbon. I didn't know what was going down or if this was some sort of joke so I froze.
Next thing I know I'm in the nurse's office and a friend is standing over me. Apparently she found me just after I fell unconscious, because she got curious as to what was happening. If she hadn't I don't know what would've happened. The stalker got suspended for a few weeks. The found out she had high-functioning autism, and heard more stories about her from there. After everything was done, she came out relatively unscathed, although she did move to a specialist school after.
The most I've heard from her since is she disappeared from a police report.
It's a miracle they got out.
I live in India. Here we have geysers installed inside the bathroom which burn LPG to heat the water. The window in the bathroom has a net attached to it. My house was being cleaned so someone sprayed water on the net. Water bubbles formed on the net stopping ventilation.
I went to take a shower. The LPG burnt all the remaining oxygen in the bathroom. When LPG is burnt with insufficient presence of oxygen, Carbon Monoxide is released. Started feeling dizzy and fell on the bathroom floor. Somehow crawled my way to the door and opened it. Passed out seconds after that.
How strange.
I'm going to start this off by saying that I don't know for sure if I was close to dying or not, but it felt like it.
When I was a kid, maybe around 8-10, I got really sick. I lived beside my grandmother and I remember sitting on the floor in her living room and suddenly feeling very nauseous and dizzy. My parents thought it was the flu but I progressively got worse. I couldn't lay down because I would immediately vomit, my sleep was suffering as a result. Sometimes it was hard to breathe. I could barely keep food down. My temperature was constantly elevated.
My local doctor had no idea what it was, I remember them running a bunch of tests. This next part is all a blur because of how sick I was. But I remember going from doctor to doctor, even going to my state capital to find a doctor there. No one knew what to do. At one point I was prescribed Robitussin (maybe why I still hate it today.) One doctor said it might be whooping cough even though I had been vaccinated, they gave me an inhaler. Nothing was working. At this point, I had been sick for almost the entire duration of summer break from school. I know I had been given other treatments as well but I was so sick I was just doing whatever they told me, I don't remember a lot of it.
Then...it just went away. I don't know if we ever got answers for what it was, but I got my appetite back one day and 3 days into the school year, I was ready to go. I have never been so sick in my life and I maintain to this day that I thought I was dying.
Sounds like a curse.
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I'm going to preface this by saying my dad's family is known for having weird accidents and health problems. This has been passed on to me.
- fell when carrying one of those trophies with an angel on it and punctured my neck when I was 5. Missed the jugular by less than half an inch
- anaphylactic shock due to an antibiotic. It was so bad my immune system had to reboot itself, and I was on the verge of multi-organ failure
- chronic appendicitis that got dismissed at the ER... it had switched to the acute phase by the time it got removed
Non-health related include: 3 gas leaks in the new house, being evacuated from a building because the IRA threatened to bomb it, having a plane I was in skid on the runaway when it landed, and others...
Those fair rides are no joke.
I am a woman. I was on a fair ride. Looked like an airplane and rose and spun in circles. As it rose I I ended up standing. The force took me right out of my seat. I am forever grateful for the man behind me that grabbed the back of my jeans and pushed me back down in the seat. I was thin back then they are always aware of height and if someone is too big. But there should be a check if someone weighs enough to ride safely. It had a lap bar that remained locked the whole time.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.