People Share Their Funniest 'This Person Clearly Doesn't Know How The World Works' Experiences
We all know someone who really cannot figure out even the most basic thing without copious amounts of help. But when you meet someone who is completely and totally past all help, how do you even begin to try to help them get along?
Most of the time, they will just be flustered, or they won't listen. And you have to just stand Idly by and watch them fail.
What is your "This person has no idea how the real world works" moment?
Here were some of those stories.
The Boot, Not The Camp
When I was in boot camp, some kid put his letter addressed to 'mom' with no address attatched.
I was gonna say that its not that stupid for a very young kid to do that, but then I realized you said boot camp and not summer camp.
Don't Steal Dangerous Chemicals
A student working part time at my laboratory at a University came into my office and asked "so what all can I eat in the refrigerator, I didn't know I was supposed to bring my own lunch". I looked at him, stunned and replied "nothing, that food is what people brought for their own lunch, but you can use my grub hub to order". He DID NOT UNDERSTAND. It took 4 tries to get him to realize he can't just eat someone else's lunch.
Same student: I walked into the lab room and told him I made a full pot of coffee in the office and he could help himself. Him: "a pot of coffee? What's that?" He never used a coffee maker other than a Kuerig before and didn't even know it was a thing.
He was fired a month later for stealing chloroform.
No Ma'am, Like, REAL Bears
At a national park, the park ranger says "stay on the trails, there are bears in the area."
One lady says "isn't that dangerous? Why aren't they in their cages?"
"Ma'am, we're not a zoo."
These people are lucky to make it out of bed every day.
Sleeping On The Job
I lived with some Japanese exchange students during the final summer of college. They were really nice girls, but one of them (Mari) (~19 years old) obviously had no idea how anything worked. She spoke the best English and I was tutoring some of the other girls, while they helped me with my Japanese.
But Mari would constantly call me to come to get her because she thought we had free buses (all the buses). After all, we were students. That wasn't the issue. I could deal with that. It was a whole new culture. She was learning.
But what happened that made me realize Mari could not be left on her own was when she ended up in Eloy, Arizona. Which was ~400 miles and five hours from where we were. She had been talking to some guy on campus, he said he was visiting family in Arizona, and she said "I want to go."
He just took her with him, and she went without even telling us. She had just assumed the guy would take her back, but he said he couldn't because he was staying in Arizona. So I had to arrange a ticket, get her on the bus via the phone, and then pick her up two hours away because she missed her second bus by napping.
How...? What...? Huh...?
Had a friend who was in some uncredited scam online college for her master's degree in medical billing or something. She was on a loan program that was sending her about $5k every 3 months directly to her via check in the mail.
This was her only source of income. She kept calling it a grant that didn't need to be paid back. She was flat broke as a joke for 2 months but then the check would come in and she would be living the good life for a few weeks before being poor again.
We tried to do an intervention and show her the insane interest rate that would be back dated as soon as her "school" was done but she didn't want anyone to bust her free money dreams.
She just kept talking about all the money she would eventually be making billing insurance companies...turns out she wasn't even logging in to the online college or even attempting to get this degree.
She thought the money was free, the degree was automatic and the job was guaranteed. Some people are beyond help.
Such Brilliant. So Money. Wow
My boss told me about a friend of his, who told him af a "life hack". She would get her bills in the mail, NOT pay them, and then wait a couple of months to pay. Then she would cry so the debt collectors would feel bad and waive the fees for not paying on time. That was her "brilliant life hack"
Reddit Users Share Their Best 'It's A Small World After All' Experience
Himbo Rights Activist
The other day, my 18yo brother-in-law got married to his highschool sweetheart in a parking garage so that they can live off campus at college together.
Girlfriend's, now wife, mother is an ordained minister. His parents, my in-laws, were very upset and he couldn't understand why because "it's just a fake marriage for school". Oh no, sweet boy. You are MARRIED. I just laughed and laughed. I love him dearly. He is a dumb*ss.
And yet somehow they are there to add these stories to our dull, dull days.
A dude (18 yo) in boot camp got a letter from home and I can see he is agitated. Being 22 and concerned for his well-being, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. (I'm thinking a Dear John letter or the Mom and Dad divorcing letter.)
He dead *ss told me that his younger brother got a Mercedes for his birthday and that he was pissed bc he "only got a BMW". Can't remember what I said, but I knew boot camp was gonna knock down. (It did.)
Who Pays Your Bills?
When my roommate, who never once paid for rent or groceries or anything, turned down the only job offer they have ever gotten, in front of me, TWICE.
They were so desperate they called him twice, offering good pay, during covid, and he had the gaul to say no in front of me. His excuse was "nah I'm sure there's something better. $20 an hour is garbage in this city" -_-
Just Read ONE Parenting Book
I worked for a clueless couple who had no idea how to raise a kid. He wore the same outfit everyday for a month until I gently suggested that he needs new clothes. His parents asked me "Where can we get baby clothes?" This was slightly hilarious given that they lived above a Target and next to a baby boutique.
I had to have the same conversation once the child was old enough for solid foods. I was asked "Where can we get baby food?" I had to explain that most grocery stores carry a baby aisle, or that she can mash up her own fruits at home for the baby. This family decided that sour cream would be a great first food for their baby!
I'll mention that this was a wealthy family who went on vacation at least 2-3 times a month. By far the weirdest thing they did was try and drop off Grandma at daycare along with the baby.
Stories like this make you feel like the most well-equipped, with it person alive, right?
Some people don't take in information as quickly as others.
Which is absolutely nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, nor does it necessarily reflect on one's intelligence.
Even so, we all can't help but feel the tiniest embarrassed when we've found ourselves a little slow on the uptake regarding certain pieces of information.
Be it a random fact of trivia that everyone knows, or even realizing there's a reason your parents were trying to instill a life lesson in you.
Being hit by a ton of bricks might actually be a welcome relief to the embarrassment that will run through your body.
"What did you learn embarrassingly late in life?"
It's Hard To Love Others If You Don't Love Yourself
"Trying to treat myself as I would others."
"The ol' reverse golden-rule."- kageroshajima
Hey, It Worked!
"My grandmother had a clock that would break if anyone touched or tried to move it."
"I always found that curious."
"Then some time in my 30s my wife and I were talking and it came up."
"I was wondering how they moved it out of their house after they passed."
"As I was explaining, 'I think it must have had some delicately balanced mechanism or something that would be disrupted if moved...'
" My wife’s face made me quickly realize it was just a lie told to young me to keep my dirty clumsy hands off of it."
"Also, I’m an engineer."- P-eh-triot
Do We Ever Really Grow Up?
"There's no such thing as 'feeling like an adult'."
"I'm 34 and still forget I'm an adult sometimes lol."- scelestai
Hey, It's Not For Everyone...
"Riding a bike at 15."- Graehaus
"That my height shapes how people perceive what I say."
"I'm a 6'4 male with a deep voice."
"I learned it at 40 when I had a boss who was 6'6."
"I was suddenly aware of my own height and the power position, looking up to him."
"I realized pretty much everyone is looking up at me, and I began smiling more and asking people questions about themselves to reduce the power implications of my height."- ClydePincusp
Easy To Get Tripped Up On Exotic Spellings
"How to say the last name Nguyen."- TD-Eagles
Though It Wouldn't Surprise Many If She Did...
"Martha Stewart does not own Martha's Vineyard...."- valhalla-at-your-grl
Shouldn't Be The Case... But Sadly Often Is...
"Hr is there to protect the company, not you."
"Hr is not your friend."- Puzzleheaded-Mood689
Just Focused On The Wrong Possibilities
"It never made sense to me that we would go under tables during an earthquake, because wouldn't the ground crack open?"
"The table wouldn't do anything then?"
"Wasn't until last year I realized that it was to stop debris from falling on us."
Easy To Get Tripped Up On Math...
"4% of 25 is the same as 25% of 4."- cdn_gooner
A Penny Saved...
"The importance of saving money or buying property early."- wetpickle_antichrist
Too Many People Need Reminding Of This Every Day...
"Who I am is more important than how I look."- Lazy-Thanks8244
Oral Hygiene Is Tougher Than You Think
"How to brush my teeth."
"I was super neglected as a child so that is something I've always struggled with and even after going to a dentist for 2 years and having exams every 4 months I only learned last month that you need to brush your gums."- HersheySquirtz2014·
"I learned that we're supposed to brush both sides of our teeth."
"The inner side needs to be brushed as well."
"I saw all of the commercials just showing them brushing the outer portion so I assumed that this is the way."- FaTes-EnD
Your Life Is Yours To Live!
"That I don't have to become a mother if I don't want to."- detective_kiara
Needless to say, should you find yourself making this realization in certain company, you might be met with jeers and laughter.
But as the saying goes, "slow and steady wins the race".
Parents Who Cut Off All Contact With Their Adult Children Break Down Why They Did It
All parents want to support their children.
Of course, when they grow up and fly the coop, they can't always help them out of every pickle.
But every so often, when their children find themselves in a bad place or are struggling financially or emotionally, most parents will help their children out without a second thought.
Until that is, their children begin to take advantage of their generosity or find themselves getting into trouble a little too often.
It's situations like these where sadly, the best thing parents can do to help their children, is to cut ties, either temporarily, or in extreme cases, permanently.
"Parents who have gone No Contact with your adult children, what happened?"
"He’s an addict who kept stealing from me."
"I had to draw a line."- Readsumthing
"I went no contact with my daughter."
"She had serious drug and alcohol issues."
"I had to lock up my prescription meds."
"She was also mentally ill but refused to take meds to treat it."
"Nope not gonna take them."
"I finally drew the line when she threw my suitcase at me while visiting her and threatening to kill me."- KrankySilverFox
"Our mentally ill son told us we had to do exactly what he told us to do (and could not push back on his requests or even explain our point of view), or we would never see our grandson."
"It was emotional terrorism."
"We told him those conditions were unacceptable to us, and he went no contact."
"Shortly thereafter, his wife divorced him, won custody, and encouraged us to continue building a relationship with our grandson."
"Today, our son wonders why we will not come to family events (and just 'ignore each other') when he is around."
"He set clear boundaries (no contact), and we still believe in respecting those boundaries until he tells us otherwise."- nielsondc
"My brother basically has no contact with my parents."
"Basically it boils down to him getting divorced and remarried after 20 years and then demanding they never talk to the ex ever again (they got along well) and immediately accept and shower the new wife with love and affection even though the first couple interactions were her telling them how crappy they were as parents and how they didn’t love him."- Hopeful-Translator70
"So, I’ll tell this as a third party."
"My wife’s mother and her sister had a falling out."
"It was a slow burn."
"I’ve been part of the family for close to 25 years now and my wife has told me stories of how her older sister and their mother didn’t get along well."
"Couldn’t tell you who instigated the fights or anything, but my wife told me on many occasions the two of them would get in to shouting matches, objects would get thrown, things like that."
"My mother-in-law, until recent years, could be very difficult to get along with."
"My wife’s sister has a very Alpha, bullheaded personality."
"Not just when dealing with their mother, but you could see it in how she treated her (now ex) husband and their children."
"I’m not certain which straw broke the camels back but their already turbulent relationship was further strained when her sister moved several states away and took the kids with her, virtually never to been seen again."
"It’s been over 10 years since their move and I want to say her sister has come to visit maybe twice?"
"This past Christmas my wife and I went to see her mom and while visiting, her sister was brought up in conversation."
"Her mother said, 'I can tell you, she’ll never step foot in my home again'.”
"But didn’t elaborate."
"I don’t think there was ever anything like drugs or legal troubles involved, only two really dominant, aggressive personalities that clashed virtually every time they met."- Deftallica
Difference In Beliefs
"My wife and I recently made the very painful decision to completely cut all ties with our oldest son because he has become a dangerous believer in that Qanon sh*t."- GlooBloo92
"My grandmother just did this to my aunt. It's because she doesn't approve of her new fiancé."- jdog_014
A Simple Minded Grudge
"My older brother went NC with my dad first."
"Reasons are mostly my brother."
"He's got mental disorders and never went to therapy to fix them."
"Then he went NC with me since my mom enables my brothers toxic behavior."
"Basically sponged off my mom and demanded money from her and my poor mom gave in."
"When my brother had a son, I finally wanted all of us to meet him and reunite (we all live in different states. Bro in Cali, parents in Ohio and Me in Washington)."
"When I paid for everyone tickets to visit me in Washington my brother flipped out since my dad was coming so he went NC on my mom.'
"Again let me emphasize my parents and I have done nothing my brother has very toxic behavior and will hold grudges for million years."
"I truly believe he has undiagnosed autism and he was bullied so badly back in Ohio where we grew up from school he's scorned and blames my parents which isn't their fault."
"Dad pretty much gave up trying and my mom keeps trying especially to see her grandson but my toxic brother keeps us NC."- Wesmom2021
No Reason At All
"My ex went NC with our son."
"He kicked him out of his house when my son turned 18, even though he had medical needs and no job."
"'Dad' called to tell me that he did it, and to strongly recommend that I kick him out, too."
"Not because he had done anything wrong, just because."
"Of course I didn't, because I don't believe children are disposable objects and I couldn't see what he was supposed to learn while living on the streets and eating out of garbage cans."
"They had some sporadic contact after that until his dad remarried and moved out of state."
"Now my ex (thankfully) hasn't called in about 6 years."
"My son still lives we me because he can't work and you can't live off only $1200 in monthly disability payments."
"That man was very toxic and abusive to us and we both have PTSD from living with him."
"Knowing he won't be calling either of us ever again is a huge relief."- Xylorgos
"She was physically violent, lied, threw things at me, stole from me."
"But the final straw was she wanted my lamp and was moving out."
"I said no."
"Came back to lamp gone."
"She screams she didn't take it, how dare I accuse of her something she didn't do and called my mother and sisters to complain how I accused her of stealing."
"They called and harassed me about accusing my daughter of stealing and that I needed to apologize."
"A week later, in the garage, in the far corner under a box was the lamp."
"She admitted she did it and I still needed to apologize because she didn't steal it." - Reddit
Cutting off ties with your children, or any family member might feel like an utterly unfathomable thing to do.
Unfortunately, sometimes the first step toward forgiveness and recovery is letting go.
Have you ever had to cut someone out of your life? Let us know in the comments below.
Everybody loves to be the life of the party.
Right? Or is that just me?
A little attention during a bacchanal never hurt anybody.
I love to dance, so I focus on musical requests and lavish moves across the ballroom.
I've seen other people eat fire.
Everybody has a party trick or favor that they like to pull out for a good time.
Redditor bluewings23 wanted to hear about all the eccentric things we do at parties to keep the attention focused on us, so they asked:
"What’s your party trick?"
GoneHomer Simpson Burn GIF by Dallas FuelGiphy
"You say hello to the host, go to a corner and play with your phone for a while, then walk out the door when no one is watching and text the the host 'sorry, I have an emergency. Thank you for the invite.' Works like a charm all the time."
"If there are cherries at the function, I typically tell ppl I can tie a cherry stem into a knot, in my mouth, in under 10 seconds. I have won betting money doing this a number of times. And it's as simple as tying a knot in a cherry stem and putting I try in my cheek before ever mentioning that I can do it."
"Then I just swap 'em out and pull the one with the knot out. No one has ever noticed me take the second untied stem out of my mouth."
"I solve a Rubik's cube that I find around the house without anyone noticing, and then I never admit to solving it. Sometimes nobody notices. I'm like a crazy party animal obviously."
"My buddy used to leave an unsolved cube at parties we would go to. He would wait until he saw people messing with it, or around it and would be like 'Oh cool, can I see?' and solve it in like 10 seconds. Obviously he crushed massive amounts of sex."
“Read my friend's mind”
"Me and my friend have a trick we call 'black magic.' I leave the room, and the other partygoers tell my friend an object in the room. I then come back, and state that I can 'read my friends mind' and guess the object they told her. My friend starts listing items in the room, and I answer no until the actual object comes along."
"It usually takes people hours to figure out the trick. They think it’s always the third object, or that it has to do with intonation or a sign of sorts. So we repeat the trick excluding that tell. Makes them go nuts."
"The trick is in the name. The right object is the one mentioned after a black object."
"In college, my party trick was to fill a red Solo cup with vodka and take it as a single shot. Probably killed a bunch of brain cells doing that."
Oof. College party tricks. Yikes. I remember nothing.
Duck and RollRolling In The Deep GIF by AdeleGiphy
"I am double joined on most of my body, I just say 'autobots roll out' and twist my body in terrifying ways into a small cube."
Pistols at 14
"I got shot in the wrist by a jammed CO2 powered BB pistol at my 14th birthday party. We thought that we had gotten it out or it fell out but it had not and healed over quite quick. Twenty years later I have the power to hang magnets from my wrist that look like magic and set off very sensitive metal detectors!"
"Opening beer bottles and wine bottles without their typical openers. ie using an empty can or lighter to open a beer bottle or banging a bottle of wine off a wall to get the cork out. Or getting out the cork of a wine bottle that’s been pushed completely inside the bottle."
"Useful party tricks are always the best and often needed!"
MagicJustin Willman Netflix GIF by CameoGiphy
"Card tricks. It’s been years and someone still wants to know how I made their card appear."
"I often go to bonfires or scaled down versions where a fire is present. I can hold my hands in the fire for a much longer time than most people due to my job working with molten glass. It’s a fun way to shock people when you reach into the flames and grab a half burnt piece of wood or something like that. I have yet to play chicken with someone but I think it’s a credit to the people I hang out with that they aren’t dumb enough to try"
I gotta try a few of these.
Who am I kidding?
I'm too old.
Do you have any tricks that leave guests astounded? Let us know in the comments!
People Who Have Discovered A Dead Body Break Down Their Immediate Reactions
I hate death.
Mainly because I phobia of it.
So you can only imagine how I feel about dead bodies.
I fast forward over autopsy photos pop up on Dateline NBC.
I can't imagine coming across the dead randomly.
How do you recover?
And if it's a violent end that's just too much.
So who has been in this situation?
Redditor Ntoxide wanted to hear from people who have come across the dead, so they asked:
"People of Reddit who have found dead bodies what was your immediate reaction?"
ReactionsToy Story Goodbye GIFGiphy
"As a nurse aide in a nursing home that happened more than I'd like to remember, and tearing up was always my immediate reaction."
"So when I was about 15 I went to school to take my final exam. I was late due to my bus being in traffic and had to walk through a few streets after getting to my stop, at around midway there this guy crossing the street gets hit by a car going 50 in a school zone (the primary school was to the side of my school). He went over the car and feel on the ground with a crack, car drives away."
"At that point I went to check it out and was already panicking he was still breathing for a while after the crash for about 5 minutes and then he just died. I called 112 and tried to explain the situation as I was hyperventilating. Apparently he had broken his spine and had a lot of internal bleeding, I did not do the exam."
"Was beside my mum's bed when she died. I just somehow knew it was close so I stayed there and waited. After her last breath, I just sat by her for a bit thinking she was now in peace and past the pain and struggle of a body that was progressively shutting down from old age. Called out for the nurse to come in and confirm she was gone."
"My dad, I found on the floor at our old family home a couple of days too late, almost five years later. Called my wife and then the authorities and sat on the front step feeling guilty, a bit lost and finally annoyed. I was angry and frustrated that he always point blank refused to have one of those medical alert pendants and I hadn't been there over the weekend. I'm still dealing with the remnants of that 15 months later."
"Found my mom's body, I was 9, I thought she was sleeping, I understood when my sisters started crying."
"That's wild. My mom died when I was 9 too, Christmas night from breast cancer. My dad just kinda walked in my room and went 'Hey, let's go downstairs.' I was still at the age where I knew she was dead but I didn't fully understand what was happening until the guys with the hearse showed up to take her body. That's a weird age to accept death at."
"I didn't realize he was dead and tried to wake the guy up gently. Honestly, I thought he was passed out drunk or high. I was about to check his pulse when two city workers came along told me not to touch him and called 911. The ambulance came, and I went to work. Never actually thought about it again until I saw this post."
Finding the dead is aways a shock to the body.
Farewellanimation goodbye GIFGiphy
"My first dead body was a sweet old woman. I got a phone call from her husband at 3am. Apparently she went to the living room to watch TV. I went there. Cold and unresponsive. Hugged the guy and held his hand. Called 911. Called the family. Helped out with whatever I could."
"Second one was very sweet as well. I helped someone transition peacefully and comfortably. There was an order to administer morphine every hour. Around 6am his wife told me he passed. Since he was on hospice I got to interact with them. The family was awesome."
"I was watching a movie with my girlfriend, and suddenly heard a loud crash. I used to be trained in first aid and CPR, so I jumped up and walked outside to try to see if there was anything I could do."
"I wasn't the first on the scene, but I was the first to check out if the driver was ok. I noticed that the glass on the windshield was cracked at about head height, and no seat belt was worn, nor were the airbags deployed."
"Nothing felt right, and there was a feeling of dread that I can only describe as 'empty with a side of heavy.'"
"The man was slouched over to his right, appeared to be about late 50s early 60s, and the primary thing I noticed that confused me was that his veins in his arms looked as though he was still flexing. There was nothing I could do, as there was no pulse, no breathing, and a clear traumatic brain injury that even had he been alive, it wouldn't have looked great long term."
'I love you'
"Called 911. I was hysterical. I loved her very much, and I couldn't believe she was dead. It was like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I tried my best to stay calm until the cops and paramedics showed up. It was one of the worst days of my life that I still replay in my mind over and over and over again."
"I flash to the disagreements we had and how many times I could have said 'I love you' more and what I could have done in the last 30 years to have changed everything. That's why saying I Love You is so important, and if something happens, call 911."
"I'm much better now, but that was one of my first reactions."
"Sailor, on one of my first patrol’s we found a dead body in the ocean. We called a man overboard and the nerves of trying to figure out who it might have been was so gut-wrenching and surreal. Turned out it was a Japanese man who had been dead for about a week just floating in the Pacific. Never learned more about it, but still think about it time to time."
The BodyComforting Big Hero 6 GIF by SkyGiphy
"I told the med tech, and then, because she wasn't on home health or hospice, I washed her body and teeth, brushed her hair, changed her brief, and dressed her in some nice clothes."
Saying goodbye to a person and seeing death is never easy.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.