No one really knows you, save for the people whom you allow into your personal circle. Everything they discern about you comes from the clothes you wear, the way you speak, and sometimes even something as empty as your skin color. This creates a picture in the person's mind, allowing them to "know" you before they know you. However, these misconceptions can sometimes lead to wildly incorrect assumptions about you, which you can then share on the internet.
Reddit user, u/bikechich, wanted to know how someone misunderstood you when they asked:
It's All About The Fingernails
People in high school assumed I was gay based on...I'm not actually even sure. And it wasn't even like them being curious, they straight up assigned that sexuality to me and refused to believe otherwise. The things they would use as "proof" were some of the biggest stretches I've ever heard. One time they took a look at my nails and were like "you paint your nails, you're clearly gay!" My nails weren't painted, it just didn't look like I clawed my way out of a hole with my bare hands. I'm sure some of them still think I'm gay years later.
The reality of the situation is that I just don't talk about the women I'm interested in openly. It doesn't seem like that should be anyone's business except for mine and the woman in question.
Lots Of People Use Canes...Right?
I've been using a walking stick for the last four years due to disability (I'm 33). People have a tendency to confuse walking sticks with the white sticks blind people use (somehow, they look nothing alike), but on top of that my condition makes my eyes extremely light sensitive, so I have to wear sunglasses even in overcast weather.
So now like half the people in the town I live in think I'm blind—an older guy once grabbed my elbow as I was preparing to cross the road, to "assist me"—only I guess some of them have gotten suspicious because they've seen me doing things you need vision for. Once some kids stood in my way as I was out walking, then when I swerved around them started triumphantly yelling about how they had tricked me into revealing that I was faking it. I let them have their moment of satisfaction and didn't say anything.
It's Always The Quiet Ones
All throughout school I was the quiet kid so people had to make up their own stories, since I never interrupted class they figured I was a golden rule follower. In reality I was using my reputation to fly under the radar so I could get away with just about anything because the teachers never thought I would do anything rebellious.
Don't Let My Height Fool You
My age. I've always been short and baby-faced, and growing up that was always a pain.
As I kid, I also seemed uncertain and unsure of myself a lot, so adults who didn't know me always felt like I might be lost, or needed help with something (if that makes sense).
One year, I showed up to my math class a few minutes early on the first day, before everybody else, and the teacher was one who I had never met. She saw me, and clearly thought I was lost. She made a comment that indicated she thought I was in the wrong class, and asked if I was looking for the 4th grade class that was next door.
She was shocked to find out the kid in front of her wasn't actually a 4th grader, but actually a 6th grader in her accelerated 8th grade math class.
Dressed For The Part
I started at a new high school my junior year. For starters, I looked like a hippy. I have very long wavy hair and dressed pretty boyish. Everyone, including the school administrators/nuns, assumed I was a drug dealer of sorts. I had never even seen weed or any drug at that point. I got "randomly" chosen for our schools monthly drug tests several months in a row and periodically there after.
People constantly asked me for hookups or where to find hookups. On the plus side, the other hippy types gravitated and became some lifelong friends of mine, though their proximity to me was still suspicious at the time.
Dude Sounds Lame
Had a friend I was crushing on that I felt liked me too. We were talking online one day and he had to go to work, he says "I'll bbl and then get to spend more time with my favorite Asian."
I asked, "who's that?"
For as long as I knew him he thought I was Asian. Once he found out I wasn't he ghosted me.
ETA: Just to say, I'm Hispanic American lol enough ppl were wondering I figured it was a good enough reason to add it here.
Secretly Listening In
I've shared this before, but I am 100% Mexican, but I don't obviously look it and even though Spanish is my first language, I speak English without an accent.
Back in college I started this job as a delivery driver/cashier at this Japanese restaurant. My first day there I was being trained by a girl that worked there, who was around my age. Most of the kitchen was Mexican or from somewhere in South/Central America where they spoke Spanish. As she is training me and teaching about the orders, I could hear comments from the back that were in the line of "Oh, I bet they're gonna f-ck" and "They want each other." It was funny to me because it was a bunch of grown men gossiping like they were in high school. I didn't really get a chance to talk to them because I was so busy learning the ropes, so I stayed quiet.
At the end of the day the owner asked me if I could could drive the cooks back home since it was on my way. I agreed and we all got in my car and I asked them in Spanish how to get to their place. They were all awkwardly silent for a bit, but then they started laughing and said, "You speak Spanish! Well, sh-t, why the f-ck didn't you say so?"
It became a lighthearted car ride and I enjoyed it and their company. We all became friends during my time working there and I would often drive them home because I enjoyed talking with them outside of work.
There's A Secret Underneath
During high school, like since I was 15, I kept falling asleep in class and looked like sh-t most of the time. Everyone (and I mean everyone, it was a small town) thought I was on drugs. I didn't know what was wrong with me but it felt like I was dying. Turns out I'm type 1 diabetic and didn't get diagnosed until I was 19.
Long Hair, DO Care
As a guy with long hair, people assume I'm a 'slacker' or something. I'm a high school English teacher. When I tell people that it usually catches them off guard.
A Charity Case
I live in a place where one religion dominates the region and it is common for the assumption of everyone being a member. You are kind of treated like a charity case if you aren't a member. I have lived here all my life and it is still constantly assumed that I am a member because I choose not to swear or I eat healthy and usually don't drink. The assumption is there because if you aren't a member you must not be willing to make choices based off of your own merit and not what people tell you is right.
Not Everyone In Service Is Voting For The Pumpkin
I had a bunch of co-workers assume I was a trump supporter because I was in the military. They treated me like ABSOLUTE sh-t for like six months. I couldn't figure it out, I hated my job because everyone hated me for no reason. I literally almost quit over how badly my co-workers treated me.
Eventually we had a conversation about politics and I mentioned something and they were all like "oh we thought you were a trump supporter". They all of a sudden became super friendly and warm toward me. I was so f-cking disgusted with those people I just continued doing my job for a little bit while I looked for new work.
The Glasses Make The Man
I sound like a major nerd and often talk to work contacts for months over the phone before meeting them in person.
I've lost count of the number of times someone has told me they thought I had glasses. But my vision is perfect.
I have 20/15 vision, am currently 6'2, am muscular, and I am a massive nerd. I've been asked to join the football team, I was pressured into playing basketball last year, but I just hate all ball sports. The only athletic thing I do is run track
Around the holidays my students often wish me Happy Hanukah. The exchange usually follows this pattern:
Student: Happy Hanukah, professor!
Me: Uh . . . thanks, Happy Hanukah!
Student: Oh, I'm not Jewish.
Me: Neither am I . . . but thanks for the sentiment. Happy Holidays!
I'm a college teacher in a Brooklyn school, so a lot of my students simply assume I'm Jewish.
This Might Break Your Brain Trying To Understand
I live in a very Hispanic/Latino area and one woman heard me speak English and yelled at me for not speaking Spanish, calling me a traitor to my ancestors and bringing shame to my past family history in Mexico and Puerto Rico.
Imagine her surprise when I told her I was Arab and Middle-Eastern. Still felt guilty for not knowing Spanish for some reason lmao.
Definitely A Big Difference Between Those Two Things
I was at a dinner party and people kept offering me drinks that I continued to decline. Eventually one woman's eyes lit up as she looked between me and my husband and then she asked, "oh my gosh, are you pregnant?" Everyone around us got quiet and I laughed and said "no, I have epilepsy."
I was handed no more glasses of wine after that!
No. Nope. No.
My ex wife was convinced I had another family in another state. Simply because she heard a kids voice in the background when I was traveling for work and sitting in a restaurant once.
During divorce depositions, i once spent a full day being questioned, and half the questions were slightly different wordings of "so you have another family/child/spouse/kid/dependent/etc..."
I Just Want To Know Where To Go
One time in Japan I asked an old lady for directions (in Japanese). I was still a beginner but I tried my best to speak in their language rather than asking stuff in English. So this lady assumed I spoke very good Japanese and started chatting. I tried telling her I couldn't understand and everyone else on the bus was trying to hide their laughter. The conversation went on for 10 minutes and I still have no idea what she was saying. She was very nice though!
Rumors Spread Far And Wide
People in high school spread rumors I was ALWAYS having sex. I'll be the first to say that nothing could've been farther from the truth, and many girls couldn't even stand me. I have no idea where the rumors came from or how they started. Some of them even made their way to the local civic theater and other high schools.
I actually had a couple instances where someone would tell me (fake name used as an example) "Sam Holtman from South High said you were having sex with blah blah blah" and I had never met the people mentioned, or even knew anyone from the other school. It happened my last two years of high school and it was very surreal. It followed me to my Sophomore year of college, but it happened significantly less often.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/