They say history is written by the victors and history can be very entertaining... especially once you get into its more retaliatory moments. Remember, history isn't just about random happenings––it's about people. And people have all sorts of motivations, some more messed up or graceful than others. After Redditor Nazamroth asked the online community, "What is the classiest 'f*** you' in history?" the history nerds came out in full force. Read on! You might learn something new.
"A group of blackmailers..."
A group of blackmailers managed to get hold of a love letter that Oscar Wilde wrote to Lord Alfred Douglas in the late 1800s, when gay sex was still illegal and severely punished. Wilde realized that the letter was missing, hastily turned it into a poem, and published the poem. When the blackmailers came to try to collect money from him, he told them that they could show the letter to anyone they liked, as he would just explain that it was the rough draft of his poem, now published for everyone to see. The blackmailers gave up and refused to come back and try again, saying that Wilde only taunted them.
"Louis Pasteur..."
Louis Pasteur, instructing in his writings on sterilization, that they never be translated into German, because he'd been screwed over by beer companies.
"They originally didn't..."
The Gettysburg Address.
They originally didn't plan to have Lincoln speak at this event, I think he was invited as a formality and they didn't expect/want him to come. He came anyway and they told him he only had the time for an extremely short speech. Basically, they let him speak because if the President comes to your event, he has to have some time, right?
He delivered such an excellent speech that no one remembers the other people who spoke that day.
"Basically..."
Jordan Anderson's letter to his former master. Basically Anderson's former master wrote to him after the Civil War and asked Anderson to come back and work. Anderson responded with some very over the top thankfulness that the north hadn't hung his former master and praise for the master's good character. Anderson then went on to request his back wages for his time as a slave as proof that his former master recognized that slavery was wrong.
"This sent Enzo Ferrari..."
Lamborghini was originally a tractor manufacturer. The owner bought a Ferrari and discovered that they had clutch problems due to some design flaw, so he sent a letter to Enzo Ferrari explaining who he was and how his mechanic and him figured out a simple design-fix to remedy the problem.
This sent Enzo Ferrari over the edge and he answered back with a huge "go f*** yourself" letter saying that he "didn't know jack s***" about cars and that he was "just a tractor manufacturer" and told him to go pound sand.
Lamborghini responded by designing some of the most advanced cars ever made and eventually knocked Ferrari from their #1 position in the racing world by smoking them at the track.
"He openly opposed 'greenback'...
Putting Andrew Jackson on the twenty dollar bill. Jackson was openly against the centralized bank, and for the gold standard. He openly opposed "greenbacks" (paper money). He was also known to duel anyone who opposed him politically. He was basically U.S. history's biggest bully. They waited several decades after his death to put him on the twenty note. Some think it was a blatant "f**** you."
"The judge that sentenced..."
The judge that sentenced Kevin Tunnell to write a $1 check every week for eighteen years to the parents of the girl he killed in a drunk driving accident so that he wouldn't forget what he'd done.
"While not against the law..."
Gaius Julius Caesar was in in senate listening to one of his rivals (Cato the Younger) drone on about how one of Caesar's was a member of a conspiracy to destroy Rome (Cato did this a lot by the way and no one really believed him this time) when a messenger brought him a letter. He decided to read it.
While not against the law, it was both rude and against custom to not only have letters delivered, but also to read them openly while someone else was speaking.
It was a mild f*** you because everyone knew Cato had no evidence and the accusation was baseless.
His opponent demanded that Caesar read the letter, to which Caesar declined, claiming it was personal. Cato became furious and claimed the letter was from another conspirator, to which Caesar handed it to him and rather calmly said, "fine, you read it."
Cato did, out loud.
It turned out to be a salacious love letter from Cato's own sister to Caesar, who she was madly in love with. It went into rather graphic detail and due to not only the nature of Roman Latin, but also Cato's fury he read out loud far more of the letter than he should have. (As a point, Romans did not use punctuation, lower case letters, or spaces so letters were often hard to read out loud and due to sentence structure it's easy to speak it in such a way that you only realize what you read once the entire sentence is finished. This is even more true when using poetic language you would find in a dirty letter).
"After the English Civil War..."
After the English Civil War, during the trial of Charles I for treason, Charles refused to defend himself before Parliament, claiming that they have no authority by which to charge him or punish him as long as he is king. To which Cromwell counters:
"We will cut off his head with the crown upon it."
"Lafitte..."
A pirate known as Jean Lafitte had a bounty of $500 put on him by a governor. So he put a $5000 bounty on the Governor.
"To Moscow..."
"Stop sending people to kill me! We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle... If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send a very fast working one to Moscow and I certainly won't have to send another."
Tito to Joseph Stalin.
"Hail Caeser!"
Julius Caesar crucifying the pirates that captured him.
In his defense, the Pirates had only captured a low ranking Senator from a minor family. Caesar was a Patrician to start with, from a very old and well respected family, was related to at least one of the two most recent dictators, was starting his career in the public sector and wanted some fame/clout, and was honestly worth more than original offer.
Plus, he could brag about that back in Rome that not only were the pirates foolish for undervaluing him, he also made sure they knew his full value (with the undertone of also having them crucified).
So it was all braggadocio. It was also good degree of pride, correct knowledge of his social caste, as well as a degree of political showmanship.
"Otto von Bismarck..."
When Otto von Bismarck was about 50, he was walking down a street when a man ran up to him and shot him five times. Otto then turned around and began to beat the absolute crap out of him until some armed guards come to help him. When they inspected Otto for wounds, they found that all 5 hit, but they all either just grazed him or bounced off his ribs. Literally the iron chancellor.
"Remain Yours Faithfully..."
25 July 1938
20 Northmoor Road, Oxford
Dear Sirs,
Thank you for your letter. I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people. My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject — which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.
Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearing whatsoever on the merits of my work or its sustainability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.
I trust you will find this reply satisfactory, and
remain yours faithfully,
J. R. R. Tolkien Adderbane
"Misfire..."
Richard Lawrence attempted to kill president Andrew Jackson. His pistol misfired. Jackson beat the sh!t out of him with his cane.
"So Many Words..."
"There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly explain how much I want to hit you with a chair." Alexander Hamilton.
"Shadowed..."
Was just reading up on Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr... apparently much later in Burr's life he remarried but it didn't last because he was spending up all his wife's money trying to reignite his political plans.
So four months after they wed she filed for divorce. The real kick in the pants is that the she got Alexander Hamilton Jr. as her divorce attorney. Talk about never escaping a shadow.
"Fast Burn..."
Ford beating Ferrari in lemans after Enzo screwed Ford.
Took them five years though and Ferrari embarrassed them in those five years.
Although credit to Ford I believe they won five years on the bounce too.
"NUTS!"
General Anthony McAuliffe's famous "nuts" quote.
The 101st Airborne Division was encircled by Nazis in Bastogne during the Battle of the Bulge and were sent an ultimatum by the Germans calling for their "honorable surrender."
Gen. McAuliffe sent back the message:
"To the German Commander:
NUTS!
-The American Commander"
The 101st then dug in and withstood the German attack until the 4th Armored Division was able to reinforce them 5 days later.
For further context, in 1944, "nuts to you" basically meant "F you" or "go to hell."
"Philip..."
From Wiki:
A prominent example involves Philip II of Macedon. After invading southern Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, he turned his attention to Sparta and asked menacingly whether he should come as friend or foe. The reply was "Neither."[3]
Losing patience, he sent the message:
You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city.
The Spartan ephors again replied with a single word:
If.
Subsequently, neither Philip nor his son Alexander the Great attempted to capture the city.
"Terminated..."
How about the time Arnold Schwarzenegger cleverly put "F" you in one of his veto letters.
https://m.zimbio.com/Arnold+Schwarzenegger/articles/ZDObO8wX1i7/Schwarzenegger+Veto+Letter+Full+Text
"11 November 1919..."
Hitler invading the Czechoslovakia after signing the Munich Agreement.
Hitler also forced the french to sign there surrender to Germany in WW2 on the same train car that Germany had signed its surrender during WW1.
It had been in a museum after WW1, but Hitler had it moved back to the exact location were the Armistice of 11 November 1919 was signed.
"Sunken..."
The US made Japan sign its surrender on a battleship parked in Tokyo Bay.
Said Battleship is now moored basically right next to the resting place of a battleship that was sunk when Japan started the war.
"Oh Will..."
"I do wish we were better strangers."
- William Shakespeare spikywindowcleanser
"Quite Right..."
When a Russian officer was talking to Napoleon Bonaparte, he said: "We Russians fight for honor, you French fight only for gain!" To which Napoleon replied saying "You are quite right, each fights for that which he does not possess."
"Henry to the Pope..."
Henry VIII wrote and sent the Pope a counter-tract against Martin Luther, The Defense of the Seven Sacraments. Luther snapped back, casting doubt that Henry had written the tract himself as was claimed (and Henry was rather proud of it), calling out Henry for being a usurper with a false lineage tying him to the throne, and calling Henry a strumpet. An excerpt:
Then let not King Henry impute it to me but to himself if he meets with rough and harsh treatment at my hands. He does not come forth to battle with a royal mind, or with any drop of royal blood, but with a slavish and impudent and strumpet-like insolence and silliness, proving nothing by argument but only by cursings. And what is more disgraceful in a man, and especially in a man in the highest position, than openly and deliberately to be, so that you can recognize him as a Sophist [one who knowingly uses false arguments], a creature of ignorance and virulence?
silversatire
"Sup..."
So when France exiles Napoleon Bonaparte (the first time), they didn't think to change out military personnel. So he basically rolls up to the first French outpost he gets to, says "sup" and begins reassembling an army. By the time he gets to Paris, he's got enough forces that France is like "well. Welcome back."
"Signed Off..."
John Hancock making his signature giant on the Declaration of Independence for King George to read loud and clear.
"Cheers Dear"
"To this time [c. 1912] belongs a well-known story of Winston Churchill and Nancy. It sounds like an invention but is well authenticated. He and the Astors were staying with Churchill's cousin, the Duke of Marlborough, at Blenheim Palace. Nancy and Churchill argued ferociously throughout the weekend. At breakfast one morning Nancy said to him, 'Winston, if I was married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee.' Winston Churchill replied: 'Nancy, if I was married to you, I'd drink it.'"
"Spell Check..."
President John Quincy Adams said Democrat Major General Andrew Jackson was a "barbarian who couldn't write a sentence of grammar, and can hardly spell his own name." Jackson replied saying: "it's a damn poor mind indeed that can't think of at least two ways to spell a word." Jackson was elected President later that year.
"Tanked..."
Probably The Australians stealing a tank from no mans land in WW1 just because they could.
"Bye bye Boris..."
Boris Johnson promised a political rival a good place in Johnson's future Prime Ministerial cabinet IF the political rival supported him.
Political rival asked his wife's opinion about this. She "accidentally" SMS'd the entire SMS chain plus her answer of "Get it in writing, or he'll deny he ever said that." .... to her entire contact list. Including other MP's, journalists, her entire social circle.....
That completely blew up Johnson's credibility and his first attempt to become Prime Minister.
"X marks the Spot"
"If I had any ammo left, you wouldn't be here"
Pedro María Anaya, a Mexican General during the Mexican-American War while surrendering.
"great leap forward"
A few that I can remember
- Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin which obviously led to the south's rise in economic power. He didn't make a penny off of any of this though, as his invention was copies and southern courts ruled against him. He did end up becoming wealthy though, as he later went on to invent inter-changeble parts which definitely played a roll in the Norths victory of the South in the civil war.
- France helping out the American colonies during the American Revolution after centuries of wars in Europe.
- During china's "great leap forward" they had a few, I think 4 pest control campaigns. One of them was against Sparrows. Order was to practically make Sparrows extinct because they ate planted crop seeds. Well the campaign worked a little too well, as crops began having locust infestations, and with no natural predators, the crops ended up being f*cked leading to a massive famine.
- South Korea blasting k-pop across North Korean boarder lol
- Some emu's told the Australian military to screw off once. formerlyDylan
"Dressed to Kill..."
Princess Diana's "Revenge Dress" when Prince Charles confessed on national television that he had been unfaithful to her.
"Music Wars..."
Probably the time when someone challenged Beethoven to a contest on who was the better musician and, after the challenger finished playing one of his own works, Beethoven took the sheet music, flipped it upside down, and played it that way.
"Wasn't Me..."
While Picasso was living in Nazi-occupied Paris during World War II, one German officer allegedly asked him, upon seeing a photo of Guernica in his apartment, "Did you do that?" Picasso responded, "No, you did."
"Video Duels...."
The Sony Playstation started as an add on CD drive for the Super Nintendo - until Nintendo backed out of their agreement with Sony, somewhat angering the Tokyo company and making them determined to take on Nintendo at their own game. pardon the pun.
Three years afterwards, Sony launched the original Playstation, and here we are today.
"In 1744..."
In 1744, the collective chiefs of the Native American nations met to discuss a letter that was sent to them by the College of William and Mary. The letter suggested that they send 12 of their men to the college so that they could learn how to read and write. The Native American chiefs sent the following reply:
"We know that you highly esteem the type of leaning found in colleges, and that the maintenance of our young men while with you would be very expensive to you.
We are convinced therefore, that you meant to do us good by your proposal and we thank you hardily. However, you that are wise must know that different nations have different conceptions of things, and you will not take it amiss if our ideas about education of this kind happen to not be the same as yours. We have some experience with it, as some of our boys have been to the colleges of the northern provinces.
They were instructed about all of your sciences, but when they came back to us they were bad runners, ignorant of every means of living in the woods, unable to bear either cold or hunger, did not know how to build a cabin or take a deer, kill an enemy, spoke our languages imperfectly, and therefore were neither fit to be hunters, warriors, or councilors.
They were in effect, good for nothing. We are however, not the less obliged to your kind offer though we decline accepting it. To show our gratefulness, if the gentleman of Virginia will send us a dozen of their sons, we will take care of their education. We will instruct them in all that we know, and make men of them."
"Pecker..."
Beethoven really hated this one singer. one thing that she did was bend over on low notes and throw her head up on high ones. he wrote a song for her to sing that went up and down constantly. she must've looked like a chicken pecking.
"More weight,"
Giles Corey refused to plead for practicing witchcraft in the late 1600s. As a result of his refusal to plead, on September 17, Corey was subjected to the pressing procedure by Sheriff George Corwin, but he was steadfast in that refusal, nor did he cry out in pain as the rocks were placed on the boards. After two days, Corey was asked three times to enter a plea, but each time he replied, "More weight," and the sheriff complied.
"Hail Me"
Mikhail the Brave forcing an invading Turkish general to pay tribute as ransom for his life. The general and his army were basically sent to collect tribute.
"2 for 1"
When Henry the VIII executed Anne Boleyn (and went wife-hunting after losing Lady Jane Seymour), he approached the then-duchess Christina of Denmark and asked for her hand in marriage.
Christina responded by quipping: "If I had two heads, I would happily put one at the disposal of the King of England."
"Fight On..."
WW1. Serbian army, government officials and monarch left Serbia and continued fighting even though the country was occupied (didn't capitulate since only the king/minister can sign it). Even a tea party isn't that much "screw you".
"So say the Queen..."
Classiest? Queen ElizabethII to a Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia who was visiting at Balmoral. At the time the issue of Women not being allowed to drive was a hot topic and this prince had repeated the standard lines of women being too hysterical and incapable to drive, it was immodest, wouldn't be safe etc.
After lunch the Queen asked the prince if he would like to view the estates, he agreed and the staff lined up the range rovers to take a tour (it's a big estate). Crown prince and his interpreter got in, then a minute later the Queen comes out, takes the drivers seat herself and spends two hours showing off both the estate and her driving skills (she was trained by the army as a driver when she was young). She never said a word about women drivers, was impeccable as always in her official role, all the while clearly pointing out with actions that he was a freaking idiot.
"Revenge in Paint"
Michelangelo from the renaissance was interrupted while painting by a guy named Biagio de Cesena, who complained about the nudity in his paintings. Mike says he wouldn't change anything, and the minister (Cesena was a minister btw) left angry. To get back at him, Mike painted the minister in hell with his testicles getting bit off by a snake.
"America says No..."
In World War 1 when Americans joined the war they brought shotguns, Germans did not like, asked America to stop, America says no. Those caught with shotgun shells or a shotgun will be executed, said the Germans who use poisonous gasses and flamethrowers.
"Stay Drunk"
When Churchill was accused of being drunk his reply to the lady was, 'My dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.'
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Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop Jumping
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
StabbyPants
Louder
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
Blaze*itch
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
ForecastForFourCats
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
amalgamas
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Ouch_i_fell_down
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
Dry-Mycologist3966
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
gingerisla
Talk to Me
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
Horror_Librarian_133
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut Up
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
abananation
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
CarpetPure7924
Speak Good
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
StretchArmstrong74
Nonsense
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
TheShadowOfKaos
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
Mortlach78
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Bombzey
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
ThisIsCreation
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
1840_NO
Drama
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
LightInthewater
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trapped
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
Stuck
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
- braydenmaine
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
- melancholybuzzard
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
weebeardedman
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
habeeb51
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
JazzySocrate
"My uncle who served back in the day said that people would have the bamboo slipped under their fingernails because it would continue to grow still. It would just continue growing into the body."
Payness0826
Excruciating
"Rabies."
Santolmo
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
RonaldRawdog
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Santolmo
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
Suspended
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
DubiousAlibi
No Cure
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
randymn1963
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
DevTheDummy
Agony...
"Radiation poisoning."
binhan123ad
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
yea_nah448
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
nosmelc
Goo
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
Beardless_Man
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Bannon9k
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Foreigners Explain Which Stereotypically American Things They've Always Wanted To Try
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
Casual Dining
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
– TotalAd6225
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
– infiresemo
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
– Stoibs
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
– Who_is_lost
Kitchen Marvel
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Garbage disposal."
– Mnemonic22
American Pie
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
– MegaJoltik
Pre-Game Ritual
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
– SpiralToNowhere
Fried Delicacies
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
– fenrisulfr94
There are places to see!
Places To See
"National parks."
– nhungoc1508
"America’s greatest invention!"
– nhungoc1508
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
– EphemeralRemedy
New Chapters
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
– Gmtfoegy
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.
Many people work hard from the moment they are on the clock until their respective shifts are over at the end of a long day.
For many of those in the workforce, the wages barely sustain a comfortable living, especially for those who are raising a family.
Yet, there are jobs that are known to pay a higher salary without requiring extreme physical labor, or the requirement of higher education.
Curious to hear what those jobs might be, Redditor ImAMasterBayter asked:
"People Break Down Which Professions Are Completely Overpaid"
Extensive training requirements are not a thing, apparently, with these professions.
Daily Dairy Duty
"I watch milk powder go into a bag and out on a conveyor and get paid $37 an hour."
– Stacwe3
Eyeing Dirt In Motion
"Mine? I get paid $20.50 a hr to watch dirt go by on a belt all day."
– trudmer
The Handy Man Is Happy To Help
"I am a handy man that charges $50/hr with a 3hr minimum, a couple months ago I got a call for service that consisted of changing 9 smoke detector batteries, 2 light bulbs, and rehanging a picture. I felt bad taking the money but the guy couldn’t have been happier to have that stuff finally done. He asked for my card and is now a very good client."
– iznmehra
Words From An Appraiser
"I make about 40 an hour after tax in the US as a real estate appraiser. You just need a college degree and a year of training and there is a huge shortage of appraisers right now."
"Edit because this post blew up: I only perceive this job as being overpaid because I used spent most of my 20's making pizza for minimum wage and imposter syndrome is a thing. Also, OP said he was looking for a possible career, and I felt like my job post was better than a troll post."
"Appraisers are not real estate agents or brokers. I do not buy or sell property."
"I do not, 'look at zillow and copy the number' and I don't just, 'make the number' in valuation. While I agree there are some appraisers who may lie or exaggerate, the same could be said of nearly any job. However, if I were to intentionally try hit some goal and got caught fudging the numbers, I'm looking at permanently losing my license and possible jail time depending on the severity. It's actually pretty common for me to, 'tank a deal' if someone is paying too much. This isn't the wild west of valuation anymore; FIRREA is a thing now. Appraisal reports aren't just 3 pages of photos with a cover page anymore; my typical appraisal is 30-50 pages with long boring typed pages of market data that I type and research myself."
"Let's talk about the appraisal gap. In most of the US, we are experiencing a, 'sellers market' meaning houses are selling for higher than what they normally sell for. A lot of people at this thread are blaming appraisers for driving housing prices up. Let me be perfectly clear about this: appraiser's valuations are based off of past data. That is it; we look at closed sales from the past. Realtors and brokers speculate on future markets, because they are motivated by profit. If anyone is driving this current market trend, it is the people buying properties over listing price, local government/laws willingness to allow foreign investors, the people who are raising rents, and the people who are making big risky developments. The appraisers have little to nothing to do with market perception of value; in my area at least many market participants are paying over 30% of listing price. Trust me when I say these people are not satisfied when my appraised value comes in less than that."
"The hardest part of the job is definitely the occasional angry phone call. Let's look at an example. Say someone lists their house at 100k, and they accept an offer for 150k, or 50% over listing. Well the appraisal is based off of past closed sales. The bank will only finance up to the appraised value. So if the appraisal comes in at 110k, meaning the subject in relation to comparable sales from the past year in the subject neighborhood equate to roughly 110k, they will either need to renegotiate the price, or be willing to put up 40k of their own money."
"In a sellers market, it's often better to accept a deal with better financing than a higher price. Let's say in this situation instead of taking the 150k offer with a mortgage, you take a smaller offer for 140k that is all cash, no financing. Well if there is no financing involved, meaning no bank, than no appraisal is needed."
– f4gmo
Landing work in software seems to be like hitting the jackpot of success.
High Commissions
"I’m in software sales, software sales. Coworker got 100k commission on a deal."
– The_GOATest1
So-Called Analysts
"There are an incredible amount of 'analysts' who just 'own' automated excel sheets they received from developer teams."
"Low to mid six figures is common in HCOL areas."
– Shoddy_Bus4679
The Successful Client
"I do the tax returns for a guy who paid 20k for demographic research software and made something like 40M over the last 3 years. His costs are almost nothing and admitted he does like 5 hours of work a week on it."
"I got more likes and comments than I thought I would, and wanted to add some more detail. The guy himself is super nice and easy to work with. It's hard not to feel jealous even though I make good money myself. His business and personal returns are super simple so we don't even charge him that much for them."
"The software is something proprietary he paid a third party for, and I don't know the name of that developer. The data output is sold to political campaigns and he's compensated more if the campaign wins. He did have some clients on both sides but now exclusively works on one side of the aisle."
– Todders8787
Salaries in the world of academics got a closer inspection.
The Administrators
"University administrators and board members."
– MayBeckByDay
A Stark Contrast
"I'm a professor. I love it. But the 'president's office' contains a staff of 5 people with a total payroll of just under $500k/year. Meanwhile, all the PhDs, MFAs, and DMAs who teach all the classes, advise all the students, and serve on all the committees bring home a whopping $50k-$65k/year, dependent on rank, tenure, etc. It's real fun...
– LPHaddleburg
Unfair Privileges
"The president of my institution makes a approximately $500k/year and is provided a house on campus alongside reserved parking if he so chooses to use it. He also gets a country club membership. Meanwhile I have to pay $200 to park at the school where I TA and do research, and I get paid maybe 1/20th of what he does. I genuinely do not understand why the f'k the dude who makes six figures doesn't pay for parking, but I do."
"Edit: that should be half a million."
– DADPATROL
Some of the cushiest jobs that require less time actively toiling away seem to be paying significantly more than the average livable wage offered in the US.
Perhaps the biggest indicator of what that might be was summed up best by Redditor iadasr, who said:
"Whatever you guys are all doing that lets you browse Reddit all day..."
Word.