People Share The Most Memorable Comebacks They've Ever Heard

It might feel like a challenge to come back at someone who has just insulted you, but it's easier than you think.

Just be ready to defend yourself, speak from the heart, and attack the person back as hard as they came for you.
Easy, right?
Well, as is the case with most pieces of art, there's a right way and a better way to do them. In the case of these counters, they are true works of art.

Reddit user, MilkshakeDawg, wanted to know about the best clapbacks when they asked:

What's the most memorable comeback you've heard in your life?

No one knows you like your family, hence why they're usually the one who know the best way to eviscerate you using only their words. Anyone with an older brother and/or sister knows what's going on with these comebacks.

She Can Stay

"My son and his newlywed wife were poor college students living out of state. When I went to visit them I took them to the grocery store and let them fill up a couple of grocery carts that I paid for. As we were leaving the store I said, "Now, when your kids are poor married college students trying to get by, don't forget this". My new daughter-in-law piped up and said, "Oh we won't forget. We're going to tell them to go get grandpa!" Haa haaa haaa...I love that gal."

JakeInBake

Got That Sacred "Dad Laugh"

"I don't care if it's self-congratulatory, I'm proud of this one:

"Having dinner with my dad and older sister. I got straight As in school or something, and she's doing the older sibling thing."

"Sister: You may have gotten the book smarts in this family, but *I* got the street smarts."

"Me: The corner doesn't count."

"Dad: *chokes whiles laughing*"

TheRedMaiden

Oh, Good Lord...

"My uncle to my husband. "When are you guys having a kid?"

"My husband. "Please don't ask me about my sex life with your niece"

MHoaglund41

Like, in public. Where people are. Other people. People you don't know, who might just be going about their day-to-day business, and they just so happen to hear someone being roasted alive?

How awful.

What's Keeping You Alive, Grandpa?

"Was standing behind these two older adults and this teen girl at the gas station last year. She was on her phone and the guy snapped at her for "not knowing how to live without technology" and without looking up she went "don't you have a pacemaker?".

SilverLullabies

When The Store Hates You...

"Someone yelled out in a Walmart , "I'm not ashamed of who I am".

"Another voice echoed back, "that's your parents job"

ryanshaw345dfgew

You Would Really Walk Up To Someone You Don't Know And Say This?

"Young pregnant co-worker had a stranger stare disapproving at her in a restaurant, then walk up and say "pregnancy isn't very becoming on you." She replied, "well, being a nosey rude bi*ch isn't becoming on you, but here we are."

Flat-Illustrator-548

Crazy Historical Events That Sound Fake But Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

And then there's these clapbacks. Unplanned, zero preparation, and with little prior knowledge, there needs to be a call placed to some local medical center with how much damage was done with these comebacks.

If You Pantsed It, Fix It

"My friend got pantsed, underwear and all at a party. Instead of pulling his underwear and pants up, immediately, he just kept going about his business, while hanging dong. Those of us that knew him already thought it was hilarious. The people at the party that didn't know him, looked really uncomfortable due to this dude having his pants and underwear around his ankles, with his wiener hanging freely. Our friend/the host said "dude, why don't you pull your pants up?" Pantsed guy said "I didn't pull them down." Then took his turn in beer pong. The host then found the guy that did pull them down and made him pull our friend's pants back up."

wato89

Definitely Seems Like You Got Tricked Here

"When I was working as a bartender one Halloween, I came dressed as an old Western style bartender (complete with mustache and accent). We had the evening split up into a little costume party for kids and families in the earlier hours, and then an adults only costume piss up later on."

"One of the regulars laughed at my costume and said I looked stupid, so I told him"

"You should probably come back after the kids have gone because you've come dressed as a c-nt".

"He didn't talk to me for weeks after that. It was blissful."

ScornMuffins

That's A Mom Burn! Those Don't Heal!

"I asked my mum out of curiosity what she would do if she found a used condom in my brother's room."

"Her response: "I would remind him that you can't get HIV from your own hand"

"For context, I live in South Africa where HIV is very common"

KentuckyFriedSoy

If you have some ice nearby it might be a good idea to go and grab some.

These burns spread.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.


Being horny can lead to some questionable decision-making.

Something happens to the brain when blood is flowing to other regions of the body.

They should discuss this in health class.

It's perfectly normal, but we have to learn how to deal.

Keep reading...Show less
People Who Accidentally Sent A Family Member A Nude Picture Describe The Aftermath
europeana/Unsplash

Why in this day and age are people still taking nudie pics without triple-checking the recipient?

Why take the gamble?

And half of the time we hit send, mistakes get made.

One minute you're feeling sexy, the next minute grandpa is having a stroke.

Be careful.

Keep reading...Show less
Woman holding up an Oxford English Dictionary
Photo by Houcine Ncib on Unsplash

There is so much to learn in the world, it's impossible for one person to know absolutely everything there is to know.

But there are certain things, like common phrases and idioms, that everyone seems to use that might be a little embarrassing to not understand until later in life.

Keep reading...Show less
Newborn baby crying
Photo by Katie Smith on Unsplash

While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.

With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.

Keep reading...Show less