We all have to grow up at some point or another, and we all experience watershed moments that lead us to make choices that come to define the overall trajectory of our lives.
When Redditor JapShag asked the online community "What happened that finally forced you to grow up?" the answers were about as revealing as you might expect.
Warning: Some sensitive material ahead.
"My mother left me in a restaurant..."
My mother left me in a restaurant when I was a freshman in high school with $20 and moved across the state without me.
I had my grandparents who were willing to drive 5 hours and to give me a place to stay while I went to high school, but it got me to get emancipated and get rid of that drug addict from my life. I feel bad for my little brother though who she took with her everywhere on her drug fueled life, he still to this day can't be too far away from mom in case she needs his help.
"At some point, I started running out of money..."
I used to be an extreme and unapologetic shut-in. I moved to a new city to attend university but stayed very isolated. I used to take regular trips back to my hometown for weed and beyond that the only significant social contact I had was one friend from back in high school who was studying in a different city on pretty much the other side of the country. He lived the shut-in life, too, but didn't smoke and always seemed to have his sh!t relatively together. We regularly skyped for hours and hours, since we both spent a lot of our free time in front of our computers.
At some point, I started running out of money and had to start taking jobs. Around that time said friend committed suicide.
"It's rewarding."
My brother getting cancer. Dude doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, takes AMAZING care of himself, and has a successful career as a screenwriter. I was sixty pounds overweight, smoking a pack and a half a day, and getting drunk/stoned every night of the week. When the big C showed up, I realized I needed to get my shit together. Got a gym membership, curbed the drinking, quit the sticks, and got my life together. My brother recovered and now we can enjoy healthy living together. It's rewarding.
"That didn't do it."
Dad was killed in an accident. That didn't do it.
Mom decided to deal with it by watching TV. Forever. Barely ever leaving the couch. That didn't do it.
Rest of the family blackballed me for not participating in their religion. That didn't do it.
I was two years graduated, unemployed in a dead-end gig-economy career path, spending most of my time on an Xbox. That didn't do it.
My girlfriend's friends had an intervention and told her she could do better than me.
That did it.
She was my first and only girlfriend. We had basically grown up together. We read the same books. I'd beat her at Smash but she'd beat me at Mortal Kombat. I'm not a complete person without her. Her friends weren't wrong, but I wasn't going to let them be right.
Two months later I had a shitty minimum wage job that I worked at for a year before it fell through. Then I got another shitty minimum wage job that I worked my butt off at for almost a year and then got promoted. Took my 'real' job money and found a place to live. A year after that she agreed to move in with me.
We've been married adults for almost a decade.
"We had no idea who my uncle was."
My uncle passed away in 2011 and I attended his funeral. We typically don't do open caskets in Hinduism and we cremate the body as soon as possible, but because he had helped out people in the neighborhood we held an open casket for one afternoon.
A thousand people showed up at my late grandma's house, each one of them sobbing when they saw him and coming up to me and family members telling us about how he helped them get off the streets, how he bought clothes for them, how he gave them food when they were hungry, how he helped them get jobs, get into school.
We had no idea who my uncle was.
I carried his legs on my shoulders to the funeral van which was to take him to the cremation site, and the day after I picked up his warm bones with my bare hand and helped them release his ashes into the nearby ocean.
That was the day I realized that I was no longer a kid and that I had some big footsteps to follow if I was to make a difference to my family, my friends, myself, and everyone around me.
"Changed my entire outlook on life."
When I was 21 I suffered pregnancy loss. I was 5 months pregnant and had my son stillborn. I feel like I aged 10 years over those days of finding out he had no heartbeat, delivering him, and having his funeral.
Changed my entire outlook on life.
"Got arrested for a DUI."
Got arrested for a DUI. Made me realize how many stupid decisions I was making and the fact they could have extremely bad consequences, potentially for others as well.
"I guess time will tell..."
The first was when I put the barrel of my handgun in my mouth and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, the chambered round was a dud from a cheap box of ammo that had probably gotten wet in the past. Thinking it was a hangfire, I sat there with the barrel in my mouth waiting for it to go off, just thinking over everything that brought me to that decision. I'm not even sure how long I stayed that way.
The second was a year or two later when I quit a job that I really liked. My performance was poor and getting worse, the higher-ups had nothing but resent when they looked at me, and I just couldn't find the will to do better. I begrudgingly left to make it easier for them, since they didn't have the reasoning to legally fire me. I spent the next few years homeless, in an unfamiliar city with no contacts.
The third was after I had gotten a job on my own to get a place to live. It wasn't a great job, but I scraped by. Part-way through my second year, I quit so I could make another suicide attempt. With a different method this time, I knew I wouldn't fail. Unfortunately, I was stopped while I was waiting for it to take effect. I spent another few years homeless after that.
Fast-forward to today, and I'm still 'growing up'. I enrolled at a university and was making some headway there, but I recently have taken a break to think over another suicide attempt. I like to think, sometimes, that my suicidal tendencies are the last vestiges of my young self trying to hold me back from growing up. I guess time will tell if I ever grow up, if I float through life stuck in between, or I'm finally able to give in and end this ride.
"...are pretty much all depressed and miserable from my experience."
Realizing that it is a better alternative than not growing up after doing a lot of soul searching and reading.
Just living like a kid and not taking up much responsibility when you're in your 20s and 30s is great in the short term, but in the long term it makes you feel terrible, depressed, regretful etc. when you don't have a sense of meaning and accomplishment that only comes with taking up adult responsibilities. Having a career, starting a family, starting a business, etc. etc.
People in their 30s and 40s who haven't done much of value or meaning in their lives are pretty much all depressed and miserable from my experience.
"But there was a shift that day..."
Age 25, I was in the middle of having a panic attack on the subway and I realized that I was so exhausted and sick of myself that I didn't want to go through the panic attack and just... stopped having it. Stopped shaking almost immediately, did not care anymore.
This is not at all to say that panic attacks are anything to "grow out of" or generally controllable at all most of the time. I still have them, triggered by irrational reasons, and usually have to ride them out or take medication.
But there was a shift that day in how I think about my anxiety & phobias. I was using my anxiety as an excuse to be an antisocial hermit, overspend, overeat, flounder in my career, not advocate for myself at work, continue doing avoidant anxious behaviors all the time, hate myself, and a whole host of other bad stuff that I am now more consciously working on - and that moment triggered me finally taking control back.
"I miss that life all the time, but..."
Giphy
I was playing in a band, living in and out of a van, playing 150+ shows a year and touring for extended periods of time and yet I still lived barely above the poverty level.
Got sick of the poor boy, ramen noodles and microwave pizza grind and quit the band in 2012. Seven years later, I've quadrupled my salary.
I miss that life all the time, but I'm finally comfortable and able to enjoy life and not stress about money or pawn belongings to put food in my stomach.
"My boyfriend at the time broke up with me."
My boyfriend at the time broke up with me. Forcing me to move out of his parents house where we lived the whole four years of our relationship (as far as I know he is still living there 3 and a half years later).
I had to sleep in my sisters nursery, she was pregnant with my nephew, and I realized how pathetic my life was. Got a job and moved in with a roommate 3 weeks later. Now I have my own car, own apartment, and a healthy relationship.
"Those years still sucked though."
I came out to my extremely homophobic parents at 16. I spent the next 2 years being verbally berated by the two of them and was very close to being kicked out. Sobering up to the fact that I couldn't be honest about something I knew I couldn't change (I knew when I was 12, tried to change it for years prior to coming out) and have them love me anyway matured me a lot.
Parents are still a bit homophobic 13 years later but are working on it. Those years still sucked though.
"I ended up doing everything..."
Parents moved us across the US without having jobs beforehand. Spent a year there, they were supposed to be looking for jobs.
Not waking up their 9 year old at 3 am on a school night to see if she wanted pizza.
I ended up doing everything for myself that year and never stopped.
"Sleeping in my car..."
Sleeping in my car instead of either of my parents' places because it was safest, emotionally and physically, to sleep in a car than to sleep in either house (i was in high school) I've always been too mature for my age but the first night I did that I realized "no one is going to save me from this. The only thing that will save me is if I save myself, because no one can do it for me." I ended up moving out a year later and now I've been independent for almost 4 years and I can honestly say that I'm happy,
"The greatest love I have ever known..."
The greatest love I have ever known was thrown into limbo as a result of my self-destructive behavior and hurtful words. I miss her so much, but this needed to happen. I wasn't taking life seriously, in a number of ways. I don't know if she'd ever take me back, but that hasn't stopped me from working actively to grow up and be a better man.
5fy935h946572gh235gy3v9b
"I felt like I was able..."
Going to automotive school felt like the biggest change for me. Until then, I was extremely shy and had what I thought was really bad social anxiety. When I was first there, nobody knew what my voice sounded like for the first month or so that I went there. Somehow, things just clicked and I found myself much more eager to communicate and initiate conversation myself (whereas my helicopter mother usually spoke for me, interrupting me if I tried). Not to mention being away from my mother helped me realized how screwed up she is. I felt like I was able to start actually doing basic things on my own.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
Giphy
Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
Giphy
Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.