So flying can be a handful and a half. We can't travel with anything but our knickers anymore, well that is what it feels like. Sometimes we forget what we've packed, especially if we've packed in a hurry. It feels like the simplest of necessities is now a HUGE no-no. So once and awhile we're flagged with a thing or two that could raise a few eyebrows. (For no good reason!)
On Quora some people wanted to discuss this by asking....
What's the most embarrassing thing you've experienced while going through airport security?
Check EVERYTHING!
GiphyI was a 14 year old girl on a trip to New York City with our school band. The trip was a lot of fun, but I was exhausted and stressed beyond belief at the end of it (not to mention on my period, which screwed everything up emotionally). It doesn't help that I'm terrified of planes. So when TSA stopped me to check my shoes, I was a little too distracted to remember to empty my water bottle. They dumped it out and had me go though security again. This time, it was a can of Pringles in my sweatshirt pocket. They had me open my bag and take EVERYTHING out (despite no detectors going off), meaning I was showing all my packed underclothes and period supplies to strangers and classmates behind me in line.
That was bad enough until they apparently decided it was a good idea for me to go into the full blown machine that checks for EVERYTHING. I was super stressed at this point (exhaustion and an anxiety disorder really does a doozy), and just started sobbing in front of everyone, which, as a freshman girl in high school, is absolutely horrible. I was so upset with myself for crying that I started crying harder and one of the THREE TSA agents who were watching me suspiciously just kind of realized my plight and was trying to be more sympathetic, which I certainly appreciated, but not enough to stop crying. She's just trying to remain calm and gentle and reassure me that it's just a precaution and everything will be fine.
So I walk into the machine (I'm a freshman on a band trip, what did they expect to find), and, as per expected, they find nothing. I have to refold and repack everything, sobbing the whole while, while being watched by all of the classmates who were behind me as well as a bunch of strangers. So yeah, that'd probably be my most embarrassing TSA story. Isabella M
Rubbed.
Well this just happened to me on June 1. I am about 5′ 10″, broad-shouldered, long brown hair, and olive complexion. I am about 230 lbs with a small beer belly. I look like a out of shape line backer. This is important to the story. So I am flying from Charlotte to Boston. I also get stopped by the TSA. Either going or coming. I was not stopped at Boston so I was going to be stopped at Charlotte. Well I am at the check point. My shoes and belt are in the conveyor.
I am at the big spinning scanning device. I step in put my hands up. The machine whirls, I then am told to step out. I am at that spot where we put your feet down in the painted areas. Just in case you cannot figure this out. The TSA man says to me hold on for a second. He then says I need to see what is under there. He is pointing at my midriff. I say to him "So you want me to drop my pants? Could you at least buy me dinner first?" I was trying to be funny. He did not get the joke. He states "No, under your shirt." My stomach - I lift my shirt to show him my hairy belly lol. He still looks at me.
He then pokes it and rubs it to make sure it was real. So I was a little annoyed as this lovely lady was looking at me. So when I am nervous I tend to use humor. So when this large man is rubbing my stomach to see if it is real I start to purr like a cat. He turned red and the lovely lady started laughing. George S
"YOU. GET BACK IN THAT LINE."
It wasn't security and it wasn't embarrassing but definitely annoying.
I was traveling to Corpus Christi to inspect a ship. With me was the new master of the ship. I had a regular US B1/B2 visa and my companion had a C1/D seaman's visa. We landed at Houston and were waiting in the immigration queue when I saw a sign saying seamen. I told the master you stand in that line. He ducked out of the line and headed for the seamen's queue when a TSA woman yelled at him. "YOU. GET BACK IN THAT LINE." He tried explaining that he was a Seaman but she continued yelling. "I DON'T CARE. DO WHAT I TELL YOU."
So he returned. When in due course we reached the head of the line, I went to one desk and he to another. The immigration officer looked at his passport and told him to go to the seamen's line. Net result was that it took another 30 minutes for him to clear immigration. All thanks to an officious know nothing jobsworth.
On the same trip when we were passing through immigration at Heathrow (required because our connecting flight to Houston was from Gatwick) he was asked why he didn't have a UK visa. I explained to the immigration officer that any seaman holding a Seaman's Book in transit or entering to join a ship did not need a visa.
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
"Ok. Please wait. I'll check with my supervisor."
He was back in five minutes. "Sorry for making you wait and thanks. I learnt something new today."
What a contrast in behavior of officialdom. Arun V
Random Search.
I was in a very abusive relationship for 5 years.
I was always covered in bruises, hiding myself, and just so insecure. There was a spell of bad depression I had after being beaten down for so long. I stayed in bed for 8 months straight. Didn't shower much at all and on top of that I had dreadlocks underneath my regular hair.
Because of my lack of hygiene and refusal to leave the bed, the entire back of my hair formed into one matted rats nest clump. I mean it HURT. Bad. I didn't care at the time because I never left home. There were tons of white fuzzy's in my hair from the blankets that I couldn't brush out- it was horrible.
One day my fiancé's father passed away on Thanksgiving morning. We immediately had to fly to Connecticut from Atlanta. As I realize what's happening my anxiety set in. I looked at myself in the mirror and started crying. I was terrified to go outside. Obviously I was dragged out.
During the security check at the airport a TSA agent pulled me aside. They proceeded to "randomly search" me which was fine, but then the male agent touched the back of my hair. "Holy crap" he said. "Hey, *insert female agents name here* come take a look at this." He pulled out a tongue depressor and some gloves and proceeded to dig through my hair because he was convinced I was hiding something in there. He muttered under his breath "how does this happen…"
This drew so much attention to me that I started crying hysterically asking them to please stop. They did and but never apologized. The next morning I shaved my head completely.
Three months later I left my fiancé.
Now my hair is very long, happy and healthy & so am I. Jay R
8 Inches.
GiphyI was traveling with my 15 year old daughter and she had an 8" long knife in her backpack. She didn't know she had it. Nor did I. But the security guard at the scanning machine quickly knew.
Here's how it went down. The security person kept on looking at the image and examining the backpack. She finally demanded we tell her where the knife was hidden. I quickly explained to her that there wasn't any knife. I asked my daughter and she also confirmed no knife existed.
Finally, the security person showed me the image. Sure as shit there was an 8" long knife. I turned to my daughter just as she was finally remembering. She had brought bagels and cream cheese to her class earlier that day. The knife was a regular kitchen table knife she had brought to school to spread the cream cheese. She had tossed the knife into her backpack and completely forgotten about it.
Somehow the knife had worked it's way into the seam of the backpack and could only be seen with the imaging.
We told the security woman our story. She looked at us sternly. She finally was able to dig out the knife and let us go on.
Needless to say I was rather embarrassed. My daughter was just mortified at how lame brained she had been. Thank god I hadn't tried to bust the security guard's chops for having made such a ridiculous accusation that we had a knife. Hill R
When leaving Halifax.
I was leaving Halifax, Nova Scotia after a three-day business trip. I was with a colleague so we arrived at the airport with plenty of time. I stopped at one of the gift shops and bought a bag of salt water taffy for my daughter. I stuffed it the top of my brand new, work-issued laptop bag.
When I went through security, the officer took a long time to scan my laptop bag. He moved the belt back and forth, back and forth before calling over a colleague. The pair of them watched the screen, back and forth at least five times.
Finally I asked if there was a problem. The officer asked me what was in the bag. As I said, I had just received my new work-issued laptop before leaving on this trip so I tried to remember ever thing in the bag — laptop (of course), power supply, mouse, maybe some pens and a notebook. And then I remember! "Salt water taffy!", I yell thinking this is what is causing the hold up. And, being a natural born smart ass, I told the two officers if they wanted some, all they had to do was ask. Ha ha.
Except I was wrong. They weren't worried about the taffy. Now they've called over the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police for you non-Canucks) and there are at least 8 officials looking at the screen — back and forth, back and forth.
By now I'm sure my flight has left. It's at least 10 minutes past departure time. I'd long ago flagged my colleague onward so she's on the plane. And that's how I later find out that she saw them pulling my luggage off the plane, while delaying the flight.
They finally all agreed that I wasn't up to anything nefarious and told me that my laptop bag and I could board.
I didn't understand what concerned them so much until month later.
Laptops were fairly new at the time so not many people had seen the cable used to lock them and I'm sure the numbers on the lock had them scratching their heads. Of course it was the one thing I forgot to tell them was in the bag!
Good times. My colleague teased me about it every time we travelled after that! Susan C
I have never returned to Bolivia.
Back in the 80's, I was flying out of the La Paz airport in Bolivia. Now, La Paz is very close to the Peruvian border and is (was?) a known point for smuggling. This was back in the 80's and the Bolivian police were all on edge. That day I had come down with a low grade fever and my buddy took me to a pharmacia (corner drug store) and asked for some Tylenol or something for my fever and headache. The pharmacist actually sold me the pills individually, folded into a small glassine envelope. You can probably see where this is heading…
So my buddy and I are in the airport waiting for our flight. I am sweating and glassy-eyed with the fever but I notice the security guys watching me. Just before our flight is called, my buddy heads off to make a quick pit stop. That's when the policia come over and take me into custody. We head to the Back Room. I have no idea what they want and at the time I spoke virtually no Spanish. They start searching my bag, taking everything out, and they find the glassine envelope, still with a bit of powdery residue from the pills. Uh-oh.
As they became agitated, I immediately understood the situation - they thought I was high and was smuggling dope. Not speaking the language, I had visions of being dragged off to a dank South American prison. In desperation, I grabbed the hand of the nearest guard and pressed it to my fevered forehead as the word "Enfermo!" (sick) somehow emerged from the recesses of memory of my middle school Spanish class.
Meanwhile, my buddy had finished his business and was wildly searching for me as the loudspeaker announced final boarding for our flight. He burst into the Back Room and explained in rapid fire Spanish why I was glassy eyed and why I had the glassine envelope. He was convincing enough that they released me (even though we both very much did fit the stereotypical image of druggy American hippies). I grabbed up all my stuff and somehow managed to get it all stuffed into my bag as we sprinted across the tarmac to the plane.
I have never returned to Bolivia. Nick T
It's Only Peanut Butter....
Not so much embarrassing but funny My friend Holly and I went to Sanibel Island last weekend for a short getaway. We went to a small grocery to get snacks and some bagels for breakfast. The day we left we were sorting out the leftovers for our carry ons and she took the bagels and a jar of peanut butter that we had bought for the bagels. I don't think we opened it, I didn't use any.
We get to the airport to go home and her bag is pulled aside. They swab her hands and we stand there while the TSA agent reaches in and pulls out our jar of Jif. I didn't even know it was not allowed, but the funny part is when she asked us, "If you would like, you may step out of security to eat this, then re-enter when you are ready." EAT a whole jar of peanut butter? Even with two of us, how in the world? Imagine how you'd feel after shotgunning half a jar of peanut butter, green around the gills, that's how.
We declined, but I thought it would be a funny sight to see two forty something women scooping peanut butter out of a jar with their bare hands and eating it just to keep it from being tossed. Melissa O
Christmastime in Florida!
GiphyI was returning home from my vacation in Florida after Christmas. Everything was going fine until will got to the security checkout and I was stopped by the TSA officers. I had no clue what was happening. I was terrified and my brother who was waiting for me on the other side was utterly confused. My brother and I asked what was happening, and we were told that I was getting a pat down. My brother asked why, but they did not respond and they told him to wait.
They said that they found a suspicious item near my private parts. For the record, it was a pad. On the screen where your body was scanned, it was the obvious shape of a pad. Even one of the officers asked me if it was! I was so embarrassed. I was holding up the whole line and a male TSA officer proceeded to try to do a pat down on my private parts. I immediately said "No!" and I requested that a female officer do it because I did not want a male to be touching my privates. The man scoffed and called over the female officer to pat me down. First, she rubbed my upper thighs and then rubbed in between my legs. This was absolutely humiliating and one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. It only gets worse though.
She proceeded to stick her whole hand in my underwear on both sides. She then literally grabbed my butt. I told her to please stop as that was very uncomfortable, but she said it was "just protocol." I was then tested for bomb residue and was begrudgingly released. They said "Oh, I guess it was just a pad. You're free to go." I was crying the whole flight after that, and it still haunts me to this day. It was absolutely embarrassing and quite frankly disgusting! Kylie Marie E
A Bridge Too Far....
I personally have never felt embarrassed going through airport security. I have, however, seen TSA agents checking my bags become embarrassed when I went through airport security.
I was coming home from a get-together of the extended poly family. I had a sound in my toiletries bag. It showed up on the X-ray, of course, and caused the X-ray tech to pull my bag for hand screening.
So the poor TSA guy opens my bag, takes out the sound, and starts waving it in the air saying "What is this? Is it a weapon?"
I tell him, no, it's not a weapon, it's a sex toy.
"A sex toy?" He says. "What kind of sex toy?"
So I explain it to him.
Poor guy was mortified. He looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him up.
I always thought TSA agents were basically impossible to embarrass. Apparently, a sound is a bridge too far.
Men can be a mystery.
They like to hide as much as they can about themselves.
In truth, the rest of the world already suspects most of whatever behaviors they're trying to bury.
But often, it's so healthy to unburden yourself whenever you can.
Isn't it also comforting to know we aren't alone on this?
You do that? ME TOO!
Redditor Miguenzo wanted all the men out there to make some confessions, so they asked:
"What is something all guys do but will never admit to doing?"
Going to the bathroom sitting down more often than you think.
That's a guy truth I'll admit to.
I like to be comfortable.
Playtime
U Know Flirt GIF by WimbledonGiphy"I play with my penis more than any other object, by far."
killsafety
"And not even in a sexual way. Sometimes just flopping it from left to right while watching TV."
OneMorePotion
"This is what my wife had a hard time understanding. Just cause I'm messing with it, doesn't mean I'm aroused. I'm just fidgeting and that's my object."
Cigarettelegs
HER
"Imagine your entire life with a girl you just met."
Old_Situation4990
"Did this this weekend. The most beautiful woman working as a barmaid I have ever seen."
"However, I know it's annoying having someone hit on you while working and working in a bar she must get it all the time. so I kept quiet ordered my drinks and didn't bother her. She remembered what I was drinking by the 3rd drink. that was enough for me. LMAO."
EngineersMasterPlan
Think About It
"Daydream about insane scenarios that will never happen where you're the main hero that swoops in to save the day. Common examples include things like thinking you could figure out how to land an entire airplane in an emergency, thinking about 'What happens if there's a robbery and I stop the bad guy,' thinking about saving someone from a burning building, thinking you could save someone's life if there's a random medical emergency, etc."
bbbbbthatsfivebees
Spoons and Forks
"Not sure if this is for all guys, but my BF will never ever admit that he prefers to be the little spoon 😭."
raviolixx
"I’m over a foot taller than my wife, so I often joke that 'she’s my better third.' But I HATE being a big spoon. Nothing makes me happier in my marriage like being a little spoon, curled up, while she runs her fingers through my hair… Just thinking about is releasing the endorphins. We will hit 29 years together in a couple of months, and it not only never gets old, it gets better with age."
ZacInStl
Pick Away
jason clarke flirting GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Nose picking is more common than anyone will admit."
oldwhitch
"Nose picking is probably the most efficient way to get uncomfortable buggers out of your nose."
AllDressedJalapenos
Ugh. Nose pickers. Stop it. Just stop it!
Whoops
Uh Oh Oops GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"Morning pees sometimes go sideways and there's annoying cleaning up to do."
Apprehensive_Sky9062
Sniffed
"Sniff our armpits to be sure they don't stink or we enjoy the smell."
Individual-Option514
"This one is def gender neutral. I've had several girlfriends be embarrassed that I 'caught them' smell-checking themselves. As if they thought it was some secret weird thing they do and nobody else did. LOL."
Zeallust
"When I get nervous I stick my hands under my arms and then I sniff my armpit smell off my fingers and it calms me back down."
Papaya_flight
Inch by Inch
"Measuring their penis. Yeah, some will admit it. But some refuse to admit it."
Just4TheSpamAndEggs
"I don’t need a tape measure to know what disappointment looks like."
flightlessf**kbucket
Haven't done it in a while. At this point, I'm too afraid it's gotten smaller. If that's possible."
Double_Win_9405
"I have honestly never measured my d*ck. Girls I dated did. The numbers really mean nothing to me. I only cared if it was too small. Once girls told me it wasn't, I was satisfied."
esoteric_enigma
I Feel Pretty
"Being friendlier to attractive women."
JoeSchmoe314159
"Attractive women are scarier for many, so a lot of us probably come off as aloof or rude whatever towards them because we just kind of ignore them (actually are just too nervous to address them directly)."
"This isn't such a thing for me now that I'm in my 30s and have a long-time committed partner. No pressure... lol. But I know when I was a younger guy in the dating pool, the very attractive women were terrifying... lol."
bossmcsauce
"Attractive people actually get treated better in most areas of life in general. It’s called Pretty Privilege. Attractive people are trusted more easily, looked up to more, invited to more things, talked to more, can get a raise easier, and obviously can date easier."
Ur_Fav_Step-Redditor
At least once
"If you're single; Having feelings/Attraction to almost every female friend you've got. Doesn't have to be strong feelings. Doesn't have to be romantic. But you've thought about it. At least once. Maybe three times."
TA2556
"Definitely not universal. This stopped happening to me after I started and finished one major relationship."
"You develop a sense for what you actually want -- and how much more valuable friendship can be than any random romance."
"Also, as a straight guy, having uncomplicated friendships with multiple women is a great way to just get out in life, meet people and situations you never would've otherwise, and not bog down your own psyche. Really elevated my 20s."
MRIchalk
Underneath
wicked GIF by Ice CubeGiphy"Kicking ice cube under the fridge when falls."
Subject-Inflation805
"Gotta feed those shadow critters."
UnRealmCorp
I love the ice cube kick.
I think it's gender universal.
Valentine’s Day is a day of love and romance, but not for everyone. For some, Valentine’s Day is a day for broken hearts, breakups and blowups. Workers and patrons at restaurants and bars have a front-row seat to some of the most awkward, abysmal and just plain awful Valentine’s Day moments, where attempts at love don’t always have a fairy tale ending.
Three’s A Crowd
stage door band and crew onlyPhoto by seabass creatives on UnsplashI used to be a professional musician and the four-piece band I was in got booked for a Valentine’s Day event in a local bar. The guitarist invited his girlfriend down so they could be together on the night. What he hadn't counted on was his WIFE getting the night off work and coming to the show too as a Valentine’s surprise.
Everything was fine for the first set of the night. Then the problems began when both the girlfriend and the wife met in the band room backstage. Most of the band escaped the obvious row that was coming and waited by the bar for the second set. What we saw next was the most outrageous show of a woman’s scorn anyone has ever seen!
The wife ran onstage and began trashing his guitars and all his pedals, leads, and amp. No one dared to stop her. She was rightly angry. Shortly after she left the stage, the girlfriend had her turn, destroying whatever was left of his gear. Between both cheated women, they caused around $2,000 worth of damage to his set up. Needless to say, we played the second set as a three-piece, but it was quite a show!
Just Desserts
At the beginning of the evening, a man at our restaurant gave me a ring to bring out to his table with dessert. The couple began arguing before they even ordered and ended up screaming at each other in the restaurant. My manager made me ask the guy, as discreetly as I could, if he still wanted the ring with the dessert. It was that bad.
I didn't want to, but I asked. Big. Mistake. He then started to scream at me that of course he still wanted the ring. He was right, after all, it wasn't my business. So I brought out the ring. She said, "Are you serious?" and left. Then the man screamed at me again when I wouldn't let him chase after her and leave without paying.
In the end, the guy just threw the money on the table with a huge tip, but I think he just gave what he had and left. He had made such an insane scene that we had to give free desserts to the tables next to them to make up for ruining their evening. After the service, I told my manager I was never questioning a client's request again.
One Ring To Fail Them All
There was a couple seated a few places away from us. They sat far enough away so that we couldn't hear the conversation, but it was obvious that they were arguing. The waiter did his spiel on the set tasting menu and handed out a beverage list. The guy orders a bottle of vino for both of them and she interrupts with, "I'm good I'll just have water."
They continued over a very uncomfortable meal, during which he kept asking stuff. She'd respond with increasingly annoyed no's. The waiter returns and notices that appetizers hadn't even been touched yet. He tops off her water and his drink, then asks if everything was tasting alright. He finishes with an, "I'll give you guys some more time to enjoy."
She was now loudly enough that we could understand her now. "I can't keep doing this with you." She angrily forks into her appetizer and finishes just in time for the entree to arrive. The arguing continues, and the guy is looking increasingly nervous. Suddenly, he gets down on one knee. She said, "Oh God, no." He takes her hand to put the ring on it.
She snatches her hand away like he's lava. He still wasn’t reading the signals and said, "Will you do..." She bursts into tears. Everyone in the entire restaurant, who didn’t really understand the context of the situation, sighed an audible "Awww!" She said, "I can't believe you would even ask after what you did. I told you I needed space. I don't even know if I can trust you anymore."
After that, things were kind of a blur. I think she threw a couple of $20s on the table, then ran out. He stayed on the ground, still holding up the ring like he wasn't done proposing yet. The waiter returned with one of those sweet lava cakes topped with a little "She said yes!" thing. It was absolutely excruciating from beginning to end.
Wing And A Prayer
A couple comes in and sits down in my section. I walk over just as the lady stands to go to the restroom and grab their drink orders. The lady goes to the bathroom and the gentleman says he knows what they want for appetizers. He orders boneless wings in two sauces. I run off to fetch their drinks and put their order in.
A couple of minutes later I'm returning with their appetizer. By this point, the lady had returned to the table. I set the basket down and she stares at it with surprise. "What's this?" I reply, "It's the appetizer that was ordered. Is it okay?" This woman turns to her partner and proceeds to loudly and thoroughly chew him out. How dare he order wings for an appetizer when he knew she wanted wings for dinner!
She runs on and on about how stupid he was for ordering wings first and I could just see the poor guy curl in on himself and slowly die inside. I stated I would give them a few more minutes and hurried away. The dinner was very tense and awkward after that. They barely spoke to me and I swear didn't utter another word to each other.
I felt so bad for the guy because he ordered wings since she obviously must have made it clear she wanted them and got torn a new one for it.
No Stalling
I went into the bathroom at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day and made an...interesting discovery. Not only was there a man in the woman's washroom, he was down on one knee, sobbing as he proposed to a woman in a bathroom stall. She said no.
Silent Night
person sitting in front of brown wooden tablePhoto by Ant Rozetsky on UnsplashI witnessed one of the most awkward dates on Valentine's Day from a table that sat across from us. Both the guy and girl were on their phones the entire night, when the waitress came to get their food order neither even looked up at her to order. I was close enough to them where I would be able to hear their conversation.
Not a word was ever said. The girl at one point abruptly stood up and left (me thinking she was going to ditch the guy) but she came back and sat down. Again no exchange of words, not even a " where did you go?" That couple finished before us, and when the bill came they both awkwardly stared at it and didn't touch it.
The waitress came back 10 minutes later to check on them and said something like " I'll come back when you are ready" with the most uncomfortable smile on her face. Finally, the guy just takes the book bill thing and puts his card in. They leave.
Love Hits The Brakes
I've worked in restaurants for 14 years, so you know my worst Valentine's Day story is going to be a doozy. One time, I had a guy ask me to help him bring the ring and champagne after dinner so he could propose to his girlfriend. Being a woman and wanting to witness the romance, I hid around the corner so I could kind of peek at them.
They were lovey-dovey all through dinner and everything seemed good and I fully expected her to say yes when he asked. She didn’t. In fact, the woman did not react well at all. She told him no and that she was planning on breaking up with him. She added the only reason she was on this date with him is that he said he bought her something special for Valentine's Day.
She thought he was going to buy her the car she asked him for, and she was going to dump him next week. Then she said since you didn't get the car, she's dumping him now and she left! The guy was devastated! I felt so bad for him. I will remember her for the rest of my life because how could I not? What a greedy woman.
Sweet Ending
We had a classic of a couple coming in all dressed up and out for their romantic dinner, but as the meal went on they gradually got tenser and their muttered argument slowly became very loud. Walking back over to refill drinks or take plates seemed to make it even worse, but I couldn't just leave their (very small) table covered in the stuff.
By dessert, WWIII had broken out, and the evening ended with the guy getting a bowl of chocolate cake and ice cream emptied over his head. I still have no idea what they were arguing about, but the poor guy just sort of shoved a load of money on the table and ran out of there after his partner.
Pizza Prognosticator
I used to work at a very local, family-owned, pizza place. It was packed and we only had two counter girls (myself and my girlfriend, whose dad owned the restaurant). We had a special on these really cute heart-shaped pizzas. One couple ordered one of them and my girlfriend brought it out, but got bumped because it was so crowded.
When she dropped the pizza it broke clean in half which I have to admit was super weird because it was sliced into eighths. The girl who ordered the pizza had a zodiac tattoo and was wearing a bunch of crystals. She got up immediately, pointed at the pizza and started yelling about how it was a sign and stormed out of the store after breaking up with him. We think he dodged a bullet.
Flowing With Emotion
A woman was eight months pregnant. A guy brings her in for Valentine's Day and has the mariachi band sing their love song. He pulls out the expected ring and she says yes. Things looked perfect! Only spicy Mexican food is perhaps not the best choice when your eight months pregnant. She hurriedly shuffled to the restroom five times. The fifth, she...didn't quite make it.
It's a tiny community, so I met them years later at a wedding party. I walked up and introduced myself. I mentioned I had met them years ago. "I was there years ago when y'all got engaged. The emotions were just... flowing that night?" The husband laughed until he cried, the poor wife just covered her face in shame.
Living Large
person holding black smartphone in carPhoto by Jonathan Cooper on UnsplashI used to work the drive-through at Burger King and I overheard this conversation on Valentine's Day while taking a car's order. Girl: “Get me a #3.” Guy: “It's Valentine's Day baby, you can supersize it!”
Do Or Dine
I was a waiter at The Pasta House. At this time, another server was pregnant and trying to cover as many shifts as possible before she had the baby. In February, she asked if she could work Valentine's Day for me and I said sure. Dinner reservations fell through for my date and me so we decided to see if I could get a table at the restaurant where I worked.
I walked in the door only to see that they were absolutely slammed. The place was FULL of customers. As I came in, my manager said, "Thank God you got my message. She we went into labor and we need you to take tables." I told them I wasn't there to work, but to go on a date. My boss was so mad that I didn't get to work that he fired me. On Valentine's Day!
Dress For Unsuccess
My wife and I were out for Valentine's day and the couple next to us were having a breakup dinner. Oh, and it got worse. They were breaking up right before their impending wedding. She was in an early 90's prom dress. He was in a suit jacket and tie. She was loaded and getting loud about losing the deposit for the reception hall. She finally took a swing at him and the host escorted them both out.
Her poofy dress knocked over a couple of drinks on the way out. What an emotional rollercoaster.
Wasted Space
I worked as a hostess at a busy higher-end restaurant. I was working at the front door with my friend. The place was packed and the waitlist was extremely long. A woman came in by herself and was a little upset to have to wait for a table. Since she was only a party of one, we found a space for her at the bar while she waited. It was about an hour wait for a table. While sitting tight for a table, this woman proceeded to get completely wasted.
She kept coming up to us and asking about her table and we kept updating her about the time. While she was standing there, a group of people came in and we sat them right away because they had reservations. She then started yelling at us and dumped her drink on my friend's head. The manager did not kick her out. We still had to accommodate her.
Ex’s and Oh’s
I've seen a doozy or two in my time as wait staff at El Nonno's. The worst one is when my girlfriend came in with my best friend. I thought they were there to surprise me. Nope, this was their way of telling me that they're dating each other now. And I was stuck as their server. But this pales in comparison to when they visited the restaurant the next time.
So my now ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend came in again and had their wires completely crossed. My ex-girlfriend thought she was going to get a marriage proposal, but my ex-friend came to the restaurant to come out of the closet and confess his love for me. Then three was the time my boyfriend and my former boss came in together, and I naively thought this was a surprise.
It turns out they both forgot I worked there and came in to have an affair. My ex-boss was cheating on his wife, and my boyfriend was cheating on me. That restaurant was insane.
Insult To Injury
man kneeling in front of womanPhoto by Ben White on UnsplashI was eating in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day and saw this guy kneel to propose. We were all happy for them until the girl said no. She used some lame excuse, something along the lines of, “Mike, I just don’t think that you’re the one, you know? Poor Mike is all sad and gets up to leave. He comes back two minutes later to get his wallet and sees her doing something shocking.
Literally minutes after turning down a proposal, this girl is talking to the waiter at the restaurant and, get this, swapping numbers with him. Mikey grabs some random couples’ drink and throws it on the floor yelling about their year-long relationship ending. He then stormed off and she just grabs the nearest guy and jams her tongue down his throat.
A Bad Reaction
As a bartender, I saw a guest in the restaurant throw up on his steak not even a minute after it was placed in front of him. His date kept surprisingly calm for that scenario.
Head-Banger
One of our favorite regular customers brought in her boyfriend for the first time and in her excitement, she bumped into a table and knocked someone’s cup off, which isn’t bad but in her haste to pick up the cup she hit her head on the corner of the metal table and cut her forehead open. It looked like a horror movie scene.
We cleaned her up and gave them a stack of free food cards because she’s awesome and we love her.
Checking Out
Yesterday in the grocery store I worked at, an angry couple came in right at 11:59 p.m., and tried to buy some booze after midnight. Our machines won’t let us do that after midnight. The couple got angry at each other and kept calling each other names in front of me. Finally, she says: “I’ve had it! I hate you anyway! I’m dumping you!” Guy: “You aren’t hot anyway!” Neither bought anything and scurried off.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Not Using His Noodle
So, I had some guy who couldn't understand the concept of ravioli. He kept asking if we served "hollowed out spaghetti" (his words) and stuffed it with lobster. I said no, but we did use pasta. He kept reiterating that he wanted pasta. It finally dawned on me, "Sir, do you think that spaghetti is the Italian word for pasta?"
His date was unimpressed, but I finally get him down for an order of lobster ravioli, even though he still seemed unaware of what he was ordering. After he got his food, ate one of the ravioli, he said to me, like I was the dumbest guy on the planet, "Bro, all you had to do was tell me that they were Boyardee’s. I know what those are."
Material Girl
a necklace with a ring on top of itPhoto by Robin Edqvist on UnsplashI was just getting off of work around 3 p.m. so I headed to do some grocery shopping and I saw a guy looking frantically through his shopping bags so I asked if he needed help with something. He confessed that he had bought a Wal-Mart necklace for his girlfriend because she told him if she didn't get something expensive she would leave him.
He had purchased it, but he had taken his eyes his bags for a moment and when he checked his bags again, the necklace was gone. He told me he had just been laid off and didn't have the heart to tell her no. I felt about an inch tall, helping him try to find a cheap necklace, knowing that no matter how good a guy or how bad a circumstance, some people are so materialistic that someone giving their all is still not enough.
I hate Valentine's day, I wasn't single last night, but boy I feel heartbroken for that guy.
Ring Of Fire
I worked at a fine dining restaurant years ago. A middle-aged guy came up to me, handed me a gorgeous sapphire and diamond ring and asked me to have the pastry chef include it with his companion's dessert. The chef found beautiful blooms to decorate her dessert plate and placed the ring in the middle of one. Her reaction, however, wasn’t what anyone expected.
She saw the ring, took it out of the flower, and placed it on the table. Then, she picked up her fork and started to eat her dessert without saying anything at all. The ring must have been an extravagant apology on his part and she was having none of it. I was tempted to say that if she didn't want the ring, I'd take it off her hands!
A Messy Breakup
I bartend. I'm assuming this couple was on a date. They just ordered their food. In less than 10 minutes of their date, I saw the girl take a drink and throw it on the guy. It hit the people behind him, the walls, and it soaked the floor too. She immediately walked out in tears. The guy's face as he just sat there soaked was indescribable. It was the most movie-like break up I've ever seen happen in real life.
Raw Responses
So the pizza place I work for cuts all the pepperoni pizzas into hearts and we had to make about 450 of those, plus 250 more pizzas, in four hours. Our slogan is “Take and Bake”, so we make the pizzas and you take them and bake them at home. Several times, we had people get their pizzas at the end of the line and go “It’s not cooked.” Deadpan, my coworker looked at them and said “Yes.” to every single one of them.
Also, I took a phone call, and I said “When will you be coming to get your pizza?” and she goes, “Actually I’d like it delivered.” Needless to say, we didn’t deliver it, and she hung up.
Sweet Nothings
Last year I worked at a high-end sweets shop. Everything is top-notch as advertised, it was what people were willing to do for it that scared me. Chocolate covered strawberries? $50 per box of four. We couldn't keep them in stock, and more than a few sweaty husbands begged us to make more and throw them in any container we had.
One guy walking in on Valentine's morning offered to pay us double, even without the fancy romantic packaging (we didn't take it). We had also sold a big embroidered heart-shaped box for nearly $100. One guy asked us how much it cost, left, and came back later with his friend. He'd asked him for a loan. To buy V-Day chocolates. Relationships are wild.
Abrupt Ending
man standing and holding platePhoto by Louis Hansel on UnsplashOne of my friends is a server at a fancy restaurant in my city. He said that on one Valentine's Day, he walked by a table and heard the boyfriend say, "Well, once again, I'm sorry to disappoint" in a really nasty tone. Things got real awkward and quiet for another 20 minutes, then the couple got their check and quickly walked out.
Trying To Impress
We had a reservation for a kid’s birthday party on the bus (our restaurant has an old-school bus fitted with retro tables). A preteen couple comes in and the guy gets mad because we told him we couldn’t seat them on the bus due to the reservation. He tried to force his way up after being told repeatedly no. Pretty sure he was trying to impress his date, who watched this all unfold and looked completely mortified.
This One Is Sad...
My friends and I met up at this big food court to hang out. One of my pals got there an hour early and saw this one dude with a bouquet and a giant teddy bear. Almost five hours later we came back to the food court for lunch and the guy was still there with no date. He left shortly after and we watched him make a call, throw the flowers at the ground, pick them back up, and leave.
One Man’s Trash...
A few years ago my family and I bought some ice cream and when we went to throw the wrappers in a garbage can on the street, we found a perfectly intact and nice bouquet inside. We got the bouquet out, and we could tell it had been thrown out recently. There was a card but it only had the name of the florist on it. So we took it with us.
We had to meet with my grandma and her boyfriend right after, and they were like ''Why are you bringing us such a nice bouquet out of the blue like that?'' and we were just laughing as we just picked it up from a garbage can. We told them the story and they kept the bouquet for a week.
This One Takes The (Cheese)Cake
My wife and I went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch, in a bid to avoid the crowds. Next to us, a dude got down on one knee and proposed (yes, in a Cheesecake Factory). The waitress was filming it, people were watching, she saw the ring and started crying, he smiled, and all looked good. Oh, how wrong we were. When my wife and I left 20 minutes later, she was still crying, covering her face, and he wasn’t smiling anymore.
I couldn’t hear well enough to know what they were talking about, but they kept speaking in low voices. Didn’t look good.
Forget Me Not
green and red labeled plastic packPhoto by Franki Chamaki on UnsplashI walked into a grocery store which was pretty packed with frantic-looking Valentine’s Day shoppers. I walked in at the same time as another man with a confused look on his face and I heard him say out loud to himself, “Man, the store is pretty packed for a Friday evening.” Then, we both turn the corner and are met with all of the last minute flower arrangements and Valentine’s cards layout.
I see the man completely freeze and again out loud, he says “Oh.. no... no no no! Today is Valentine’s Day? Oh no!” As he quickly runs to the chocolate section, joining the rest of the panic-stricken dudes with the same looks on their faces. Hope those dudes are all still alive this morning.
Location Revealed
I worked a 14-hour shift then wanted to meet up with my boyfriend afterwards to give him his Valentine’s Day gift. He gave me an address and when I showed up, my jaw dropped. I realized it’s a sleazy club (he did not tell me what it was and only gave me an address that I used to call an Uber). So I went inside, balloons and gift in-hand, I found him, dropped off his gift and Uber’d back home alone.
Bad News And Good News
I had a man who was verbally inappropriate at his wife at my table, and I don’t mean talking over her and being rude. I mean saying things like, “What do you think you’re doing you stupid bimbo?” and, “I’ll give you $36,000 to get out of here right now you piece of slime.” I had four different tables complain about them and we eventually asked them to leave.
I’ve never seen anything like it before, at one point the guy went to the restroom and I went up to the wife and asked if I could help in any way and if she was alright. I’ve never wanted to assault someone in my life more than that piece of garbage. We also had something really good happen when our chef and her girlfriend got engaged at the end of the night! It kind of balanced it out.
“Utter Madness”
I ran the front desk to a hotel solo one Valentine’s Day. It was utter madness. We sold out with reservations, and there was a solid stream of locals coming in expecting to get rooms and then arguments with their disappointed dates when they were informed that we were booked solid. There were complaints from travellers just passing through and an older couple staying for a sports event about "loud amorous noises" emanating from rooms near theirs.
The phones were ringing off the hook from people looking to book Jacuzzi rooms when everyone in the city had been reserved in advance. There was a ridiculously inebriated guy getting dropped off in a taxi expecting to get a room after we'd sold out. He was irate and yelling, "What am I supposed to do now? Go sleep in the streets?"
Someone thought it would be a great idea to dump a trail of glitter and rose petals down an entire hallway leading to their room. And this was just the 3-11 p.m. shift. R.I.P. third shift and the morning housekeepers.
Table Service
When I was a server/bartender we had a frequent escort come to our restaurant. It was pretty obvious she was an escort as this restaurant was in a wealthy neighborhood and she would be with a different man every time. Once when I served her she said to me I'd make good money if I joined her company. So on Valentine's Day, she came in…
She was wearing big, gold hoop earrings, chest hanging out of a floral dress and fake designer bag. She sat down with an elderly man who I figured was married because he was wearing a wedding band. Anyway, long story short she was doing something inappropriate to the man under the table. The manager kicked her out and she never came back
McLove
a mcdonald's sign and a mcdonald's sign on a cloudy dayPhoto by Jonas Augustin on UnsplashI was in McDonald’s and I see two people at a table having a Valentine’s Day date with a red tablecloth and candles with fancy napkins and their order number card on the table. Honestly, props to them. Looked fun.
Recipe For Disaster
One man, one very angry woman, one very full glass of merlot, and one impeccably white button-up shirt. You can guess what happened.
Nothing Special
Had a woman come into a fine dining restaurant and tell me she was allergic to allium (garlic, shallots, etc), processed sugar, gluten, and salt. It's a four-course prix fixe menu for $150/person. Her partner had an excellent meal and such a wonderful experience. She essentially had crispy rice, steamed broccoli and cauliflower, pepper rubbed Arctic char, and skipped dessert. She did not have a wonderful experience.
I would have felt bad for her, but we go out of our way to give them the menu ahead of time, call to confirm that you're okay with the reservation and menu, and approve that the $150 price was legit. But she just kept throwing a stink because she must have expected us to create an entirely new menu just for her and it should have been just as amazing as the other food our 250 guests were eating. In the end, I charged her full price and got that 20% tip.
A note for those who don't restaurant often: Don't assume you're special on a holiday where everyone thinks they're special. You're not that special.
Faking It
I was at a fast-food place alone on Valentine's Day because I'm a lonely guy. The dude in front of me straight up asked the cashier if the cook could make the best looking burger possible because he forgot he was cooking for his wife and wanted to pass it off at home as though he made it for a romantic dinner. Oh, buddy.
Skin Deep
We're in the last hour of service, but we've about emptied out. A couple sat at the bar for about 30 minutes before ordering potato skins two minutes before closing and then asked me to remake them twice. They gave me some dirty looks when I put all my 'go home' stuff near them, so I said, "I'm not sure if anyone told you, but it's my Valentine's day too".
Phone Fail
selective focus photography of person using smartphonePhoto by freestocks on UnsplashA guy and girl come in. They order food and everything seems all good, then the girl leaves her phone and goes to the bathroom. The guy picks up her phone and starts snooping and the girl comes back and catches him red-handed. She is understandably angry and asks for their food to go. When she gets it she socks him in the chest and leaves. He paid for everything and quietly left immediately after.
Love Requires Patience
I work at a pizza place, where we served heart-shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day. They took twice as long to put in a pan, and nobody was allowed to order ahead of time. Online orders weren’t going through properly so we had some customers waiting for their pizza for a solid 40-50 minutes. Short-staffed on delivery drivers as well. Overall pretty stressful.
A Waiting Game
A group sitting at a table next to mine had an absolute meltdown because their food took too long to arrive. Most of them just left and the last few asked if they could just box it up and leave when the food arrived. They got it all on the house.
Breaking The Silence
I was working in an extremely quiet, high end bar a couple of years ago, one couple was sitting in a corner booth having a screaming argument. Very, very awkward.
Don’t Make Eye Contact
I've seen too many Valentine’s Day couples who spend 99% of the time looking at their phones. So sad. So lonely.
Take The Good With Bad
burger with lettuce and tomato on white ceramic platePhoto by Juan Rojas on UnsplashI work at a small local Mexican restaurant. I can't think of any disaster that happened at work for Valentine’s Day, but my girlfriend did dump me before I left for work. Then a girl from one of my tables left her number so the universe is looking out for me.
Love Hurts
Worst Valentine's Day I ever saw? Easy. I once witnessed a full-blown divorce discussion, in which the woman left and the man finished the last three courses of their tasting menu when she waited for a taxi in our lounge.
Valentine’s Lost
My mom has been a waitress for more than 25 years and has worked her fair share of Valentine's Days. She says she's sen a lot of sad stuff, but it's the worst when little old men or women come in and eat alone because their husband or wife had passed recently and they just sit there and cry. My mom will sit down with them and give them hugs.
What’s The Problem?
I had a brief stint as a waiter in high school. This one couple looks very sweet and loving, with no apparent problems. The girl got down on her knee and asked him to marry her. The man's response was chilling. He started laughing hysterically and explained to her that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. She was furious.
She started screaming about how inappropriate that was, then got her stuff and stormed out. He looked completely bewildered.
Misunderstandings
Her: Man, this is a great steak!
Him: Did you say this is a great date?
Her: ....no