A Family Affair...

One of like 3 times I blacked out drinking. Woke up in a nice bedroom with the sun shining in my eyes, rolled over and had zero clue who the girl was. Quietly put on my clothes and tried to sneak down the stairs. Was obvious this was someone's parent's house, the hall was wall to wall family photos etc. I have no clue how to get out of the house, I take a turn and there is the whole family, mom dad, 2 sisters, and grandma and grandpa eating waffles. I mumble something about being sorry for interrupting their breakfast and sheepishly walk out the back door. I go outside and look for my car, I have zero clue where it is parked. I walk around the block for 10 minutes searching for it. I have no cellphone cause this is like 1998, and since this is obviously suburbia, there are no payphones in site.

I muster up every last bit of pride that I have to knock on their door and ask to speak to their daughter. I can't even conjure up her name at this point. One of the sisters answers the door, laughing her butt off. Her sister is upstairs getting yelled at by pretty much everyone but grandpa, who is still eating his waffles. I ask the sister to use the phone, of course it is in the kitchen. I call my roommate and tell him to come pick me up at the intersection down the road. Whole time the grandfather is giving me the stinkeye and the sisters are like in tears laughing. Roommate picks me up 45 minutes later because I am about as far across town as in physically possible. Brings me back to the club where my car was parked. At least my dumb butt didn't drive there. Nissir

The Bike Path.... 

Many years ago, I hooked up with a friend who lived downtown. I had parked my car on the street before going to the bar the night before. We had gotten pretty intoxicated that night - hence the hookup. We slept fairly late the next morning, both of us pretty hungover.

I had entirely forgotten that there was an event that morning where they blocked off the streets, despite there being signs posted everywhere. So midmorning I dodge my way through crowded streets to get back to where I parked my car, only to find it fenced in by temporary fences to block off the street for the kid's bike race that was about to start. My car was literally the only one left on the block. I asked a police officer when I could get it out, and was told I'd have to wait until after the race.

So, there I sat on a bench on the sidewalk, visibly hungover, miserable, and surely ashamed, while a bunch of kids rode their bikes around downtown with their parents shooting me odd looks. jmh79

Jobs come and go.... 

The unemployment walk of shame when you got your stuff together and you had to walk to the elevator. KingofSnipers

My current employer has had a few rounds of layoffs since October. My boss tipped everybody off who was safe but we were in the know on who wasn't safe as a result. Despite I was aware of which coworkers were going to lose their job, I didn't directly tell them they were losing their job since you don't know what their response will be. At best, I'll hint that "there's rumored layoffs happening next week." Based upon the responses of some people, I thinkIwould have been in trouble if I were the catalyst to trigger that behavior prior to layoffs. Negafox

Jesus smells you! 

One time when I was around 13 I was at a bible study at a relatives house and I was super gassy. I felt a big gut buster coming on and I decided the polite thing to do would be to excuse myself and go to the restroom and blow that fog horn. Well I stood up and made it about 3 steps before I let out a quick pop and then preceded to chainsaw fart my way across this quite room with about 12-15 people reading the Bible.

I stayed in the bathroom mortified until my aunt came and got me. AmeriknGrizzly

Talk about Sparks...

Went on a first date with a girl from an online dating app. Things went well. Making out in a small pub, I accidentally set fire to my shirt on a candle. Wasted, we didn't care. Ended up staying at hers. Had to walk to work through central London the next morning in a half burnt shirt until I could find a clothing shop and buy a t shirt. MassiveKnuckles

And your son's name is?

Nothing beats waking up in the house of a twenty-something guy who supposedly had his own place but then him expecting you to join him at the breakfast table with his stern looking parents. shelbyc09

A friend of mine recently hooked up from a club, issue is he is in his 40's, she was barely 21, they went back to her place which just happened to be her parent's house, the best part walking out the next day, and a conversation ensues that he is older than her parents by a few years. K-Dog13

A bloody Shame! 

Woke up on my prom date's parent's basement pool table, still wearing the top half of my tux. Nothing below the waist. My date was asleep on the basement couch. Jolted upright and bashed my head on the light fixture hanging above the pool table, cutting my forehead open. Could not find my underwear or socks. Walked home in snow and cold with a bleeding wound. Date's mom called my (parent's) house later that day, only to leave a message on the answering machine saying that she'd found my socks and underwear, and that she'd send them to school with my date. DukeOfCheddar

Umm....What kind of days?  

After a wild night partying at my friend's dorm, I woke up at her place to the beanbag, carpet, and my clothing covered in vomit. I had to change clothes, gather everything in a trash bag, and carry it back to my dorm which was a fifteen minute walk away, hungover. And did I mention that my friends stayed with me the entire time, laughing at me and pointing?

Man, those were the days. stillslightlyfrozen

Maybe not the walk of shame you are asking about, but a few years ago I accidentally pooped my self at the very crowded Iamstersam sign. I had a very sudden bout with gastro, with almost no warning. I had to do the walk of shame through the crowded streets of Amsterdam, in a poop soaked pair of chambray short shorts. Fruitloops_for_B

How Roman of you....

I temporarily lived in a hotel in a smallish town (~7000) for construction work for about 6 months. It was Halloween on a weeknight and lots of the construction folks went out partying. A woman friend and I made impromptu togas out of my bedsheets before heading out on the town. I crashed at her hotel that night, overslept a little, and walked back to my hotel along the commuter highway at 8am in only a toga. silent_h

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