The Doors wrote a song devoted to strange people for a reason, folks. It's not just that people are weird though - we've all got that in us. It's when that weird jumps out at you like the proverbial stripper-from-a-cake-at-a-bachelor-party that things start to get sketchy. You know what I mean, a weird PERSON, no big deal. It's weird INTERACTIONS that really mess with us. We generally don't like it when life forgets to keep the weird over there and lets it work its way to our inner circle. Example: my weird neighbor was fine being weird in their own yard - but when they started shooting BB guns into my yard (trying to snipe iguanas) and walking around picking up dog poop with their bare hands and putting it in their pockets ... welp... now we've hit a whole new level that I wasn't ready for.
One Reddit user asked:
What is the strangest human interaction you've ever had?
And yeah, the stories get way worse than your neighbor walking around bare-hand pocketing all the dog poop they find on the block. Here are some of the cringiest - edited for language or clarity when needed. Brace yourselves, we're goin' in!
The Cab Fairy
I was out with coworkers in the crowded downtown area and we all got pretty smashed. Trying to leave at 2am, I was put in charge of getting my buddy home as he was too drunk to function and we lived only a block away from each other. I was trying desperately to get a cab but it was a busy Saturday night and I was having no luck at all. Then out if nowhere, a man with a full beard and a man-bun appeared and he was wearing a gauzy pink dress with yellow flowers. He said I looked like I needed some help and proceeded to call his best friend who was a cab driver and we had a cab there to pick us up in 5 minutes. I thanked the man in the dress, and upon reaching our destination I also learned that the man in the pink dress had paid for our fare as well. He was like a magical cab fairy. One of the strangest, nicest humans I have ever met.
"Hey Check This Out!"
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When I was about 8 years old my mum brought me to her friends house so I would play with her friends 8 year old son while they had a chat. He walked me outside and said "hey check this out" He pulled down his pants and took a massive dump onto the floor right in front of me and then his dog ate it and threw up. I'll never forget that moment..
- P1ckles2
Haole Hell
I had tons of strange encounters when I lived in Hawaii but this was one of the weirdest. I was walking home late one night and saw a guy carrying a huge bag of mangoes coming the other direction. As we're passing he stops me and asks, "hey you want some of these mangoes?"
I'm not in the habit of taking mangoes from strange men in the night so I politely refuse. He becomes enraged and starts screaming at me, "What do you mean you don't want any mangoes? You're a f*cking haole." (Haole is local slang for white person)
"I just don't really need any mangoes right now," I tell him.
That seemed to calm him down a bit and then he asks me "so what do you think is gonna happen in Iraq?" (this incident happened around 2004)
I told him I had no idea and then he really loses it. He is screaming at me "What the f*ck do you mean you don't know? You're a f*cking haole. You're supposed to know this sh!t."
I have never actually been in a situation where I thought I was going to have to violently defend myself from an attacker but this guy was becoming so enraged that I was backing away and trying to figure out what the best way to take him down would be but then he calms down almost instantly and says, "I don't know man, it's a crazy world out there, cuz, you know we go from generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation..." he continued on like that for about a minute, "...to generation to generation...and then there's you! So study hard man, stay in school and you're gonna do great, and I'm sorry man."
And then he just walked away.
... But Do You Still Have The Shoe?
I was at a train station, an adult mental handicapped guy came and sat next to me, he was wearing a white leather child's restraint with a leash and he offered the leash to me, for some stupid reason I took it. I tried to give it back, he started freaking out, so I just sat there and held this guys leash until my train came. he then offered me a single shoe from a bag of single shoes he had, I tried to refuse it, but he started freaking out again, so I accepted the battered pink high heel and got on to my train.
Mango Snapple
I was about 13/14 years old, on a trip to Las Vegas with my grandma. I had this crazy cold and felt real sh!tty and crabby after our flight in. Being sick I didn't have much of an appetite so I just wanted to grab something small to eat before we went out for the day. The hotel we stayed in had this little snack kiosk next to the elevators on the main floor. Nothing special, they just sold small stuff like parfaits, bagels and drinks.
My grandma was still getting dressed so I went down by myself, and asked her if she needed anything. Line was extra long, and the wait was even longer but I was already invested I couldn't leave just yet. I get up to the front and I already know what I want, I've even rehearsed it a million times.
The lady asked what I would like and I responded "I'll have a Mango Snapple, a fruit cup, and an iced tea." She goes, "YOU WANT MANGO SNAPPLE?!" In that way that Scooby-Doo says, "SCOOBYDOOBYDOOO!" She didn't have an accent. I could hear her when she helped her other customers and she spoke just fine. I thought maybe she just had some sort of malfunction. Like the wiring in her brain just shorted out.
I didn't say a single word, I didn't know wtf to say. She sets only the Snapple on the counter and tells me my total.
I politely corrected her that I also needed the fruit cup and the iced tea. She puts the Snapple back and sets out my fruit cup and my iced tea.
So I said, "AND the mango Snapple."
She gives me this real weird and irritated look and started putting my fruit and tea back and she said it again, but calmly "you want mango Snapple?"
"Yes. And the fruit cup and the iced tea." I looked at the people around me to see if they were having the same reaction as me.They just looked frustrated at me like this was my fault! I could see the line building up so I started to get anxious.
She starts putting the Snapple back again, reaching for the fruit and the tea. I let her grab the two and decided to try one more time. So I added the mango Snapple back on the list.
She said it again. "YOU WANT MANGO SNAPPLLLLEE?!"
I fucking lost it. "YES. AND THE FRUIT CUP AND THE ICED TEA!"
She started to reach for them again. I freaked out. I started to tell her step by step to set my fruit down and my tea down. Not to touch it! To leave it there! That's what I wanted! And I told her to ALSO grab the Snapple so I can pay for ALL THREE of my items.
She didn't say a single word the rest of the transaction.
When I got back to the room my grandma asked why it took so long to get her a damn tea.
The Cheese Hum
I was taking the elevator down when a mid-50's man in a business suit stepped on to ride. He was going down to the lobby as well, it was just the two of us. He faced the back of the elevator which immediately alerted me, and after we passed two floors, he began humming one low tone and started digging through his pockets.
Fight or flight kicked in and I began weighing my options. He pulled his fists out of his pockets and I thought he was going to throw a swing - but nope. His fists were filled with shredded cheese. He had at least a full bag's worth. This man was sprinkling the cheese all over the floor of the elevator while letting out this soul-crushingly low monotone humming. Out of primal fear, I pushed my body against the doors and pushed every floor before the lobby to exit. It felt like a ten minute ride to the next floor. I barely heard the ding over his cheese hums, but I booked it out of there and did not look back. Finally took the stairs after sitting and breathing for a while.
Told security at the front desk and someone was already sweeping the cheese. I need answers, still, 10 years later.
Corn Dogs Up In Here
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I was walking into a Walmart and a woman was comforting her crying child by saying, "Hush child! There be corn dogs up in here!"
🎵 Hush little baby, don't shed a tear
There be corndogs up in here 🎵
"What Do You Think Of My Gun?"
Uber driver. I picked a guy up downtown, midday. He was early 20's, red head, tatted out. Extremely nervous, jittery to the point I wasn't sure if he had a condition or was on drugs. He sat in the front. We're driving and he's all over the place, telling me wild stories about how he makes all his money climbing dangerous construction sites around the world and posting videos to youtube. I believed him! Anyways, we are on the highway heading to a nearby town, and he reaches in his backpack, takes out a towel, unwraps and it is suddenly holding a luger pistol. I freeze up and feel cold and hot at the same time. He looks at me with a smile and says "what do you think of my gun?"
I can't tell whether he is being serious or if I am being held up or what, but I try to smile and say "WOW man, that gun is so cool, what is it? I love it, but while we are on the highway, can you put it away?"
I could see the realization cross his face that he had been foolish, and he puts it away sheepishly, explaining it is his grandfather's and we are on our way to a shooting range. The crazy part of the story is that we then get to the shooting range and it is surrounded by cops and crime tape because there has been a SHOOTING AT THE SHOOTING RANGE. So we turn around and drive back to his hotel. He gave me a cool $20 for a tip. Scary though.
Cabbage Hat
My boyfriend and I were taking the bus home after going downtown for a date. We sat in the back, where my favourite little corner spot is. This particular evening, however, I noticed a man sitting in my preferred spot. Normally this isn't a big deal in the slightest, since you can't really claim a seat on public transit.
This guy had on a helmet made of cabbage.
I had to double take at him a couple of times. Nothing else was particularly off about him, he just had an obviously homemade helmet of cabbage. I knew it was cabbage the moment I saw him, but I couldn't muster up the courage to say something until we got off the bus. As we were leaving, I ran after him just to tell him that I liked his cabbage hat and that it was the coolest thing I've seen all day. He said "No one has pointed it out yet!" and we had a little conversation.
Warm Croissants
I work at Starbucks and one time this older man ordered a coffee and a butter croissant so I said "would you like your croissant warmed?" And this man yelled back at me "NO! What do I look like? A LIBERAL?" I had never been yelled at before so I just kind of walked away because I was really confused
My condolences to all the true conservatives out there who have never been able to enjoy warm croissants. You all are the only thing keeping the republican dream alive.
H/T: Reddit
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.