Strong and colorful images, the best day ever, traumas, physical sensations.
People have no say about which bizarre thing from around age 4 worms its way into forever-ness.
But kids that age are totally all over the place and usually pretty dumb, so strap in.
I can remember a vivid day when my babysitter took me to the park to those long-necked ducks.
She gave me the whole loaf and I didn't have the tools of self-preservation to drop the thing and run.
To this day I shutter around ostriches. Zoos are a problem.
Redditor En-tre-pre-neur had some thoughts.
So they asked:
"Redditors, what is your earliest memory?"
Flipper
Happy Brain GIF
Giphy
"Walking up to a stranger on a ferry that was wearing the same (very obscure) jumper as my dad, hugging him and loudly proclaiming "daddy I saw a dolphin!'"
trustmeimweird
Flocks
"My parents took my to the park. Now, my mum is terrified of birds, including ducks. As in, she will scream if they come near her. I remember suddenly a flock of ducks, swans, geese, all of those water birds, suddenly coming towards us. My mum? She let go of my hand and ran off screaming. My dad? Went after my mum. Me? Well, I became duck food."
holipops
Just Sleep
"Being told to go for a nap (I was around 2-3 at the time), and I refused because I wanted to keep playing & was being defiant. My Dad repeatedly put me in my bed and said that I'll feel better if I lied down for a bit. I fell asleep and he woke me up 2 hours later. And shocker, I felt better. Lol."
zariaah
Daddy Help!
"When I was little, my dad used to trim the elderly neighbors trees whenever they needed. One day I was there, just sitting on the garden of this old lady while my dad was up in the tree cutting some limbs and the old lady's husband was holding his ladder. Both of them were wearing very similar plaid lumberjack-ish shirts and baseball caps. Then another neighbor's dog, a black and white pit bull of which I was always terrified, came running out of their house and in my direction."
"I ran to the old guy certain that he was my dad, legit screaming 'Daddy, daddy, protect me!' He handled it very well, got me up from the ground and shooed the dog away. When I said thank you, I noticed my mistake and this is the very first instance of morbid shame I remember."
LeftSeater777
She didn't care...
"Can't remember the age this happened, but I remember feeling really sick for some unspecific reason. I told my mom and she went out to grab medicine for me at the local pharmacy. I really can't remember what symptoms I was feeling or what she intended to grab to help me."
"While she was out, I started feeling much better and felt bad that I made her go out and get medicine. I remember waiting for what felt like an eternity, sitting at the bottom of our stairs by our front door waiting for her to get home. When she got home I apologized because I told her I felt okay again and felt bad she ran out just to get something to help me."
"She didn't care. She was just happy that I didn't feel sick anymore."
NeutyBooty
She Bounced
Falls Down Dean Winters GIF by Mayhem
Giphy
"My sister headdiving down the stairs when I was 2. Watched her from the bottom. She was fine, though."
Interferonno2fan
Nipped
"I was 3 years old and playing with a toy cow in the living room of my old house. My grandma’s poodle was there and I have no idea why, but I remember putting the cow down and sticking my pinky in the dog’s mouth. He lightly nipped me and I remember feeling how pointy his teeth were. I wasn’t hurt, just startled enough to learn not to do dumb crap like that again."
sherrykathryn
out of body experience...
"I would have between between 2-3 years old."
"I had always remembered it as an out of body experience. I was at my grandma's house walking around the pool alone (I know, it didn't take long for mum to find out and ban unsupervised visits with grandma) and I fell in, I remember it as if I was reaching in and saving myself from drowning somehow. It's really hard to explain."
"I told mum about this in the last few years and it turns out I was actually saving my brother from drowning, but it had also happened to me and she thinks I must have merged the memories somehow."
OlympicSpider
Drive
"This is kinda depressing, but my first clear memory is of my dad beating my mom until she fell on the kitchen floor. Then she got up and told me to get my doll and we got in the car and drove away from him. I was 3 at the most."
Molly_dog88888888
"As messed up as it is to say, I'm glad that I'm not the only one with an early memory of their dad beating their mom. Makes me feel like I wasn't as alone as I felt"
methylenebluestains
Calm Down
"When I was little I guess I got pink eye. My mother was trying to get me to calm down to have eye drops but I think I took it as a game for her to chase me."
"The only thing I really remember is my mother grabbing me and slam-dunking me onto the carpet; she held me down with her forearm and forced some eye drops in my eye while I just was still laughing and screaming."
"I would like to believe that my mom RKO’d so hard I gained consciousness."
ImReallyDrowsy
Get Out
new kids on the block dancing GIF by Jacob Shwirtz
Giphy
"I was in my crib and my brother was talking to me, but I couldn’t speak well enough to understand him. I remember being mad because he could climb in and out of the crib and I couldn’t."
Sethrial
My Bestie
"My 1-year-younger-than-me cousin was watching me eat a lollipop and got so confused when it was inside my mouth. She kept asking where it went! Then I took it out and showed her. Then I put it back in my mouth and she asked me again where it went. I was 3. She still my best friend 39 years later."
omgwhatisleft
The Drop
"My mom was spoon-feeding my infant brother and she dropped the spoon in a bowl of soup. I thought it was gone forever in an infinite ocean of soup, and I was amazed when she got it back out. I think that was me learning object permanence."
cointelpro_shill
On the Wall
"Siiiigh... alright one of my best friends tells this story to anyone that will listen, but my earliest memory Is of sitting on the bathroom floor while my mom was changing her tampon. My dad came in and yelled 'What are you doing?!' And she said, 'He’s not going to remember.' **earliest clear memory.** I think the earliest was of a drawing of a goat on a wall."
poonpeenpoon
All In
"I remember my grandfather letting me sit on his lap while he played poker with a bunch of other grandpas - and they let me eat all of the cookies I wanted. They smoked cigars and made faces at me. I remember thinking it was hilarious. All of my earliest memories are of him. He was always happy to see me and would pick me up and laugh. He died when I was 4."
dainty_flower
SMILE
"Sitting in one of those chairs where they feed you. I remember just being happy, and pure. My mom was feeding me, and my dad was sitting on a couch across me. I remember them smiling, and I remember being filled with love, no actual thoughts, just pure love for my parents. I think about that once in a while."
that-bass-guy
Trailer Houses
"Mine is so embarrassing! I remember running down the hall to the bathroom because I had wet my moms bed. I can distinctly see the hallway and the light was on at the end of the hall in the bathroom.We only lived there between me being 3 to 4 so it was sometime around that age."
"Then my next one is sneaking out of my uncle's house (where we were staying temporarily after leaving the place mentioned above) sneaking into my grandparent's house and trying to turn the tv on in the living room. The houses were like 20 feet apart, two trailer houses."
_fly-on-the-wall_
Out of Focus
"I was 2 years old and having kidney surgery, and I woke up half way through my surgery because the epidural came out of my spine (they had snapped the needle in my spine on the first go, which was great). I remember seeing them working on me, freaking out (as you do), and I managed to rip the line out of my hand which was pissing out with blood."
"I remember the excruciating pain that came with all of it as the epidural wore off. I remember pretty much my entire hospital stay, and damn near everything since then."
StaceyLades
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.