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People Who've Killed Someone Explain Their Side Of The Story

People Who've Killed Someone Explain Their Side Of The Story
Photo by Lacie Slezak on Unsplash

Life is full of experiences, some we'll all have, like paying taxes or discovering one last fry hidden at the bottom of the bag, while others will always be beyond us. Life events that hide in a dark spot of our lives.

Killing someone is definitely in that dark spot. Fortunately, we have the internet to let us in on what it's like.


Reddit user, u/steamie_putato, wanted to hear the dark tales when they asked:

Redditors who killed someone, what happened?

Street Fighter

Knife fight as a teenager, self defence. Didn't want it to get that bad, but I've left the country since to start a new life (I'm originally from Scotland)

VelvetFedoraSniffer

This is an actual thing kids do there? Instead of drinking in a field or play video games, teenagers knife fight?

mcbledsoe

It's not as big of a problem as it used to be, it's not normal teens either - just scummy ones especially in Glasgow

VelvetFedoraSniffer

Provided The Death Switch

There was a new girl who moved into my town a few years back, she was great and fit really [well] in our friendgroup.

Our group has always been experimental with party drugs and during summer break she wanted to try [ecstacy] with us.

So i got us some pills and we had a blast. Thing is.. she had severe epilepsy and she never told us. (Epilepsy and pills don't go together very well)

On her way home she got an attack and no one was there to help in time...

I still feel really sh-tty to this day...

mickvd9

Serving Overseas

I was a soldier in Afghanistan during the surge about a decade ago. I was manning a .50 caliber machinegun on our truck at the time. We had been ambushed in the particular place we were traveling to numerous times before, however I was never in the turrent in those fights.

Upon getting into a narrow gap in the valley I noticed a head bobbing up and down on a hilltop roughly 600 meters away to my front. These are big hills as well, just lookup northeast Afghanistan. I aimed my sights on where I saw the head go down. Couple seconds later, he popped back up with a RPG shouldered. I shot probably 2 or 3 bursts. He didn't get his shot off. UAV shortly later confirmed that I had actually killed 2 individuals on the hilltop. I didn't know at the time, but another insurgent was kneeling just off to the side of the guy I popped about to fire off some mortar rounds.

We eventually secured the bodies and weapons hours later. Both guys were pretty tore up.

OrdinaryInformation

On The Job Dangers

Loading some beams on a trailer at work, the truck driver walked between the live load and the trailer, one of the beams slid off, crushing and killing him. I wasn't new to the job, neither was he. I couldn't stop the equipment in the split second before he walked between them. He knew better but chose not to wait the few more seconds for it to come down to the ground. I tried to get it off of him but it was more harm than hood from that angle.

The hardest part of the situation is that it was determined an industrial accident so no charges or anything got filed but the family sued for the insurance payout. It was really hard to watch the video several times of the incident, even though I would never forget what happened anyways. I never felt like I did anything wrong, the video shows that as well. I dont blame them for sueing for the insurance, I wish they would have actually shown up to the hearings instead of just their attorney. I would like to offer my condolences, if they would accept.

In the industry, we have looked at many different ways of doing this same job to avoid situations like this. We have come to the conclusion that given all of the circumstances, this is the safest way to do the job. There are other ways to load and unload the beams but they have a higher risk of injury or death.

ooglieguy0211

Coming At You In The Night

Guy tried to carjack me when I was a young 21yo Marine out in North Carolina. As soon as I saw the knife come in the window I pulled my pistol out of my holster and shot him in the face. He fell out of the window he tried to crawl into. Lucky for me police were behind my truck like 3 cars back and saw the dude try to get in my window.

FunnyFrontMan

Holy sh-t, what kind of genius tries to carjack someone in sight of a police vehicle?

Incitatus_

To be fair it was at night and I didnt even know the cops were behind me until they come flying up lights and all. They said the dude was on meth or something strong.

FunnyFrontMan

Death Through Inaction

Indirectly.

One evening my roommate invites me for a smoke up session with her friends. It was first semester of my college and I had no friends till then, hence I agreed to go with her thinking of making new friends.

When I reached there I realised it wasn't a smoke up session but 5 people who where using Cocaine. They tried to make me take it but I was too scared as a 17 yr old to take it and sat in a corner quietly. After about 2 hours one of the guys started reacting crazy and kept on saying he is feeling hot. This was an cold winter in northern hemisphere. Others tried to calm him down after which he relaxed. He came to me and started talking normally. I vividly remember his eyes were blood red and I was scared to look into them. He kept on asking me if I was feeling hot too.

In sometime the situation for him got even worse and he took all his cloths off and kept on yelling about feeling hot. The situation got out of hand very quickly before anyone could realise anything (only I was the one who wasn't intoxicated of the 7 people present in the room). I had no idea on how to react or to calm him down. I have never had any kind of drug before in my life to understand what was going on with him.

Suddenly, he starts to bang his head in the wall and this scared the sh-t out of me. He ran out of the house and kept on banging his head on brick wall. Blood was oozing out from his head. I froze at the spot. Others were trying to help him but nothing stopped him. They yelled to call ambulance but I was frozen so bad to even pick up the phone and call. My roommate yelled at one point, which shook me out of the coma that I was in and I dialed for an ambulance.

He died due to broken head and heavy blood loss. I could never recover from that image and it still haunts me till date that if I could have dialled for an ambulance few minutes early he could have been saved.

redrumkafka

A Night To Remember

Friend of mine was outside of a bar waiting for a ride home. It wasn't that late at night and he texted me. I drove about 10 minutes to go get him. When I arrived, there were 3 other guys surrounding him, obviously wanting trouble. I ran and tackeled one of the guys to the floor. I was completely focused on this guy because he was literally face to face with my friend.

We start hitting eachother and a bystander helped with the other 2 men. I managed to stumble back on my feet and kicked the guy in the face, he hit his head against the wall of the building and I knew it wasn't a good sound. With my adrenaline rushing, I looked over and the other 2 men were running away. I was the one to call the cops and report everything

DiGiorno_45

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Defending Your Workspace

I've had to twice.

I worked at a gas station convenience store that my family owned in a state with extremely relaxed gun laws, so I always carry a gun. Two separate times a man has tried to rob the store, once at knife point (dumb as hell) and once with a gun, and two times a man has entered the store alive and left dead. I think they assumed I'd just hand the money over since most convenience store employees don't get paid enough to care, but like I said it was the family business so I cared a lot.

I knew we had cameras in the store, so it was an extremely easy decision, as the police had concrete evidence I was defending myself and the store so there was no risk of prison, which is the scariest part of self defense IMO. Haven't lost a second of sleep over the bastards, and would do it again in a heart beat.

shotthebastard

Serving Your Time

I was a soldier in Afghanistan during the surge about a decade ago. I was manning a .50 caliber machinegun on our truck at the time. We had been ambushed in the particular place we were traveling to numerous times before, however I was never in the turrent in those fights.

Upon getting into a narrow gap in the valley I noticed a head bobbing up and down on a hilltop roughly 600 meters away to my front. These are big hills as well, just lookup northeast Afghanistan. I aimed my sights on where I saw the head go down. Couple seconds later, he popped back up with a RPG shouldered. I shot probably 2 or 3 bursts. He didn't get his shot off. UAV shortly later confirmed that I had actually killed 2 individuals on the hilltop. I didn't know at the time, but another insurgent was kneeling just off to the side of the guy I popped about to fire off some mortar rounds.

We eventually secured the bodies and weapons hours later. Both guys were pretty tore up.

OrdinaryInformation

Accidental Slip

I was working as a cleaner at an aged care, resident(with severe dementia) was sleeping. I decided to mop the floor in her room while she was asleep. Resident woke up and decided to get out of bed without assistance, resident slipped on wet floor. Carers found her unconscious and called ambulance, resident died at the scene. Nothing came of it as resident had no living relatives. I got told it was the carers fault for not keeping a close eye on resident, but i blame myself, i still think about this late at night

Usual_Sign

Self-Defense

A guy attacked me at 3 a.m. while I was walking to work. Literally barreled out of the woods and tackled me onto concrete with his belt undone. He broke three of my ribs. I tried to choke him long enough to render him unconscious. And I did. He never woke up. It still bothers me.

I was arrested and questioned in the hospital. Un-cuffed the following morning after the police obtained security camera footage.

I've been asked before how I managed to hold the choke long enough to kill him. I don't know. I may have crushed his windpipe. I have no concept of how long the choke, or even the whole situation, lasted.

yuyuisbae

A Lost Farewell

My 82 year old grandma asked to stay in our home when her health started failing her. We were more than happy to oblige.

Being 16 and with night classes, I was usually up all night until morning playing video games. Since she wasn't comfortable having a private nurse, we were pretty much her caretakers. I also volunteered to keep an eye on her in case she needed some help or something while everyone else was asleep.

We were extremely close growing up, so I obviously had a great time. I put a buzzer beside her bed so she didn't have to strain herself calling out to me in case I wasn't by her bedside playing Pokemon Emerald.

We'd talk until she fell asleep. I learned a lot about her, my aunts, my uncles, my mom, and my grandpa during those few short weeks. However, one night, I was feeling very tired, so I decided to go to sleep on the chair and jokingly told her to hit me with her cane in case I didn't wake up from the buzzer.

I can still remember how she got up on her own that night and covered me with her extra blanket. I told her I loved her and she gave me a kiss in the forehead. I got cozy and dozed off. Little did I know that before she could get back on her bed, she'd lose her balance, fall, and lose consciousness.

I can still remember my mother screaming and crying her heart out that night.

My grandma died couple of days later.

Everyone tried to comfort me the best that they could. They said that she could've died anytime. My mom, in particular, said I was blessed to have such a good last memory of her.

Still, I can't help but blame myself knowing that she could've still lived a couple of months if not a few years more had I not decided to go to sleep.

Mist3rTryHard

A Childhood Accident

I killed my sisters unborn baby. We were teenagers and playing softball (I didn't know she was pregnant) and I hit a line drive she pitched to me. It hit her right in the abdomen.

pepperandgeorge

That is awful. I can't imagine how you must have felt. I hope you don't blame yourself.

9Mikey1

It's pretty f-cked up. One friend was there when it happened and knew about it, and I recently told my boyfriend about it. Other than that I don't talk about it. I'm in a bad place today and just started answering sh-t on Reddit

pepperandgeorge

A Parting Friend

A childhood friend suffered liver failure, and was on a breathing machine. When she breathed her last, her father could not bring himself to turn of the breathing apparatus. So, I did. And then the men from the funeral home came; they were very polite, and we gave them all the info they needed for them to do their job. Her stepmother stayed at the house, while I took her dad out for ice cream, just to be away from the scene.

It was a warm summer night, and we walked and talked and had ice cream at the local Sweet Frog.

You may think that might not qualify, but the is a moment of finality when you switch off a friend's oxygen machine.

About six months after, I was visiting a friend, recounting the story, and suddenly the dam burst and I cried for hours.

PhantomSpaceman13

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

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Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.