One of the main issues disabled people face is the judgment and labels of the able-bodied world. Many people seem to believe that just because one's disability isn't obvious and on display, then that must mean people are faking it or are being lazy.
But we've come to realize that many disabilities are unseen by the naked eye. And that can cause an even greater struggle.
Redditoru/fairlycertainoctopuswanted to hear from those fighting silent battles by asking:
Redditors with "invisible" disabilities what's one thing you wish other people knew?
I have several close friends who struggle with crippling pain and illness. They face lupus, fibro, and Covid. And one of the reasons that causes most tears flow on a daily basis, is the rudeness and cruelty of the outside world. They've been labeled everything from frauds to lazy idiots. It's tragic.
I Exist
Seth Meyers Thank You GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"That invisible doesn't mean it doesn't exist."
- Molgaard
"That you can pretend to have it doesn't mean I am pretending."
The Looks
"Just because I don't "look disabled" or "act disabled" doesn't mean I'm not disabled. The way I explain it to people is that just because you don't look hungry, that doesn't mean you aren't hungry. Hunger looks different for everyone the same way disabilities affect everyone differently."
I'm Not What You Think
"I lack executive functioning skills and that's not an excuse for why I can't remember or know how to do simple things yet appear to very intelligent and smart. When I make mistakes I'm not doing them on purpose and being corrected or taught how to do them will not make me do it right the next time."
"I'm not lazy, sometimes simple things just makes me want to rip out of my skin and scream at the moment so I'm not doing it now but will do it when I'm able to. My brain so to speak is a selfish brain and I can't always think past where I am even though I'm not a selfish person."
Sound Off
I once had a conversation with a receptionist at a clinic over the phone and they said "Um, that service is only for house bound people" I said I was housebound. She said "Um... can I ask why?" So I give her my diagnosis and she goes "Oh I'm so sorry, you don't sound disabled so, I didn't know."
"wish they had it too."
"That when people ask how I lost weight and I mention a somewhat rare and fairly painful GI disorder, it makes me see red if they "wish they had it too." Not being able to eat solid foods, hearing rumors I'm on heroin or cocaine, being so bony it hurts to sit on hard chairs and needing a pillow between my knees because they're so bony to sleep during flares, constant pain that doctors rarely take seriously unless it's hospital admission level bad... the quality of life sucks so the side of my waist stopped mattering years ago."
"Sadly I used to do hair and make up so I'm pretty good at covering up how bad I feel and even doctors would add "but you look great!" as some kind of consultation when my life was falling apart pre diagnosis/treatment. Yeah, almost lost my house and came close to bankruptcy, but my stomach (was) flat. I prefer secure housing and employment and if I want to be slim I want it the healthy way and not awful disease related malnutrition."
Why can't we just be kind? None of us know the struggle of another. We should lead with that perspective instead of judging. Just "shake it off" is not a remedy for anything by the way.
The Sister
"My older sister was born with her umbilical cord around her neck and it resulted in a brain injury due to lack of oxygen. Until she was 12 she couldn't grasp math as the portion of her brain that handled mathematics was cut off from the rest of her brain due to the damage. When she was 12 she took music lessons and for whatever reasons there may be, learning music taught her brain a new way to get to its math centers and she suddenly excelled at it."
Not a Lie
"I have Covid longhauler and I was at a healthy weight previously, now I'm underweight and struggling to keep from losing more due to lack of appetite and all the other GI issues that come with this. Every single one of my friends voiced jealousy over my (unhealthy) weight loss and said something like "oh I wish I got long Covid so I could drop these pounds." 😤Lucky for them I don't have the energy to get pissed and scream and yell nowadays but sometimes I wonder if I need to so they can grow as people."
Mobility Issues
"That yes, I can always be in pain and always am, even though I don't always show it. By the time it's obvious I'm in pain, it's really bad. That if I say I can't do something, I actually can't considering half the time I do stuff I shouldn't and pay for it. That I know my body best because I live in it."
"Trust me to know my own body. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Yes I do have mobility issues, no that doesn't mean I can't walk/stand at all, though it is always painful so i'm very limited in how long I can. I'm not faking it. Mobility isn't necessarily all or nothing."
Learning
"I'm a parent of a child with an "invisible" disability. I wish people would just grasp that autism isn't always like some character you saw on TV."
"My boyfriend is still fairly new to a lot of this, and I have Autism (was labelled Aspergers till they changed it), ADHD and anxiety issues. He's always surprised when the fact I'm on Disability pension comes up. And I just cannot manage to work out how to explain a lot of it."
- Vynlamor
Basic Truth
This Up Here GIF by Chord OverstreetGiphy"I am the same person I was before I told you about it."
- KitGundy
"Yes! People can swing between treating you like a leper or ignoring your disability entirely, neither of which are helpful. Respectful curiosity and compassion is what is needed."
The next time someone tells you their health is not well, just show a little empathy. They have no obligation to prove themselves to anyone. Invisible disability is a very real life issue.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
