We all want to be good people. We all want to help. At least I pray that's true. The problem, is that sometimes we can get burned when we help or step up. The old adage... "no good deed goes unpunished," well that's a true story. But that is the risk one takes when one is doing the Lord's work. If you feel an impulse to do good for others and help brighten the day of another, do it. If it turns out to be a big disaster... talk to reddit about it.
Redditor u/enho224 wanted to see who needed to share about the times they wish they hadn't gone as above and beyond by askingRedditors, was there a time when you helped someone, and you ended up regretting it?
Had a friend who went through a rough breakup, and then a month or so later needed to move. I offered our spare room in Tahoe for the time before my stepson was due to move into it after the summer. Figured she could use some nature to help her reset.
Everything was great for the first few months... then she went legitimately bat crazy when her mom died. Pacing and talking to herself, thought the CIA had bugged the apartment. We helped as much as we could, but needed her GONE when she started thinking my husband and I were undercover agents. That's when I worried she'd feel like she needed to protect herself from us. Had the cops and paramedics out several times, but they wouldn't take her because she didn't want to go to the hospital. Took two tries to get a restraining order, but not before she trashed our bedroom and stole some money we had in a drawer.
About two weeks after she was out, I got a text from a friend with a news report of a woman who had run her car fully into the conference room of a business the next city over (no one was hurt). Bystanders said she got out of the car with her little dog and a bible, and just started walking down the road like she had simply parked her car.
So Much Drama
Demi Lovato Popcorn GIFGiphyAfter my brother and I moved out I covered his half of the rent and let him owe me. He owed me more and more as time went on. He was not a great roommate otherwise. I also let him move in when I bought a house. He owed me money for rent constantly. When my now wife moved in and I asked him to move out, all hell broke loose. It took him a year to move out and his lies and dramatics caused so much drama between me and my parents.
Co-Worker Evil.
One of my co-workers was up for a big promotion and I gave him a pep talk and tips and pointers for the interview. I told him our work has a real "the behavior you see is the behavior you accept" type policy so they'll want to hire someone who doesn't let the work place run unprofessionally.
Anyway he took this as opportunity to lie to supervisors about me saying how I was doing the wrong thing, dressing bad, feet on the desk etc in hopes that him not accepting and reporting this behavior would make him look like a better candidate. I got fired and he got the job.
That's No Mary & Joseph....
I rented a room to a pregnant girl and her boyfriend because they were about to be homeless. I learned the hard way why they couldn't get a place. Trash all over the room, the back of the door had a hole punched into it, incense or some sort of unfortunately scented thing had been used to the point it took months to get the smell out. I had a litterbox in the closet and didn't bother to protect the carpet.
They left a LOT of stuff behind, including a nasty AF mattress. Failed to pay rent at the agreed to rate which was significantly lower than the going rate anywhere within 50 miles. failed to pay for damages. carpet messed up with nasty stuff. failed to do their share of housekeeping and left me to do it during their stay.
The Strays
Shocked Season 4 GIF by This Is UsGiphyYou give to a campaign or charity once and they will hit you up for more every week for the rest of your life. They are like stray animals with food, once they see you have some and are willing to share, they never leave you alone.
BJ & Mr. O...
In 1st grade Brian (who went by BJ) glued a bunch of glitter to Mackenzie's chair, so she would sit on it and get glitter on her butt. I tried to wipe it all off before she sat back down, and Mr. O. decided that I was rubbing glue on her chair as a prank. He sent me to time out and then I went home crying, and my parents were like Mr. O. why did you do this and he called me a liar.
BJ, or Mr. O, if you're reading this I hate you.
Bad Sister....
I've got a lot of friends who are managers at restaurants and although I don't work there anymore, I did end up getting them to give my sister a chance there as she "really needed a job" (her words). Welp, she didn't last long at pretty much every one of them because, in the words of my good friends, she told them "I don't like being told what to do", "I don't know why they're complaining to you, I'm just telling them how it is," and her reasoning for calling out was "I can't come in, there's a raid tonight."
A raid, I recently found out was a fight term on a video game. It embarrassed me and I regretted it every time she was fired. Now she just sits on her butt eating junk food and playing video games all day and complaining she has no money and I don't feel bad at all.
"massages"
I helped a girl that had an abusive father and she worked with me. My wife and I brought her into our home and gave her a month to get her shit together. Next thing I know my wife and I are pulling up after going to dinner with a crap ton of narcotics unit cops in our apartment. She had been giving "massages" and was suspected of dealing opiates. We got evicted and I will beat that woman if I ever see her again.
I'll Snap YOU!
natgeo channel GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphyOne time in school, a friend of mine asked if I could loan him a pencil. I had recently bought myself some really nice pencils (smencils, I believe?) from the school store that came around once a week, and I decided to loan him one of them and asked him to return it to me after class.
So, after class, I meet up with him and ask him to return it to me. He hands it back, but it's snapped clean in half and broken beyond repair. I was so pissed off and angry.
Never Lie.
Person I was friends with started telling me all about how abusive their partner was, how they couldn't be themselves around him, and how he was pressuring them into doing very triggering things. They were prepared to warp their whole identity to please him, but would also come to me and our other friends for support. Now, I believed them because they'd been in an actually abusive relationship before and had also been assaulted, so I didn't think they would lie about either of those things. I offered emotional support, resources, and urged them to get out.
They absolutely did lie. And it about ruined my friendship with a solid chunk of my friend group because they were all friends with the partner and the friend who lied told me that if they saw me around any of them that they'd call the cops for harassment. Once the relationship finally imploded I was able to rekindle some of those friendships.
I'll take Cold.
GiphyI once bought a sub for a homeless guy who was asking for change outside of a sub shop, and when I offered it to him he said, "Yeah how 'bout we go to the men's room and I'll give YOU a hot lunch?"
...TF?
Never again.
I was at the park playing with my kids. A neighbor drove past, saw us and the mom asked if her kids could join mine while she went to the grocery store for a second. Two hours later, my kids are ready to go home and I've still got the neighbor's kids. I cram everyone (7 kids total) into my vehicle without nearly enough seats or seat belts and proceed to drive home. The neighbor's car is in her driveway. I knocked on the door to drop off her kids. She's watching TV. There wasn't even a thank you. Never again.
Move Away.
Any time I've agreed to help somebody move, only to show up and find they hadn't really boxed up anything yet.
Happened to me once and I took it as a lesson. Now when someone asks me to help them move I say yes absolutely! But then immediately proceed with bringing up the subject of people not organized the day they move.
I'll say something like: "oh yeah I will help you for sure 'cause you don't strike me as the kind of person that doesn't get ready to move to make it as easy as possible for everybody the day of the move. I play the hypothetical card when really, I'm warning them that they better be organized and ready the morning I show up to help.
For Life.
GiphyYes. I used to help friends and family with computer problems. Now I "don't know anything about these new devices, I'm out of date"
Apparently helping once makes you their personal IT guy for life.
"go to court"
A lady that worked for my family asked for a early paycheck so she could bail herself out of jail on a DUI charge. I took the money in, not knowing that I had to sign paperwork to be responsible for her while out on bail. I signed it, but received no info on when her trial was scheduled. She lied to me about when it was. I covered her shift so that she could "go to court." A month later, she and her boyfriend skipped town in the middle of the night.
A week after that, I got a call from the bail bondsman, asking where she was, as she hadn't showed up for court. Had to pay back the bond of $5000 if they couldn't find her. I lucked out, though, because they got caught committing another crime 1000 miles south, and went straight into custody.
Walking in Darkness...
GiphyThere was a blind man in the road near a crosswalk, stumbling around, blocking traffic. Thinking he would be killed, my wife hopped out to guide him to the side of the road. Once out of the road, he wouldn't let go of her and aggressively demanded money.
He was faking blindness and this was his scam. My wife pulled away from him, hopped back in the car and we took off. We came back the other a few minutes later and he was in the road again blocking traffic and pretending to be blind. It was very scary!
Burning Bridges....
I was drained dry by someone who I thought was my best friend. Gave her gas money, my old car that still ran well, babysat her kids constantly, paid for and altered her wedding dress, etc... When I realized how bad she was treating me, I very politely cut ties.
She then went around and told all our mutual friends I owed her so much money and I was abusive to her kids. Her 600lb+ husband broke my front passenger seat so it wouldn't sit straight anymore (which is why I gave it to them when I could afford a new one), but they had the audacity to call me a "fat pig". I just... Ugh
Last I heard, they burned literally every contact they have here and had to move to a new state to start over again... Again...
I Saw Nothing.
GiphyI saw my classmate stealing a calculator from another. This guy who lost his calculator, was worried as he had borrowed it from someone. So I told him what I had seen. Things turned out quite serious, there was a violent fight and both my classmates got expelled out from the college.
HELP!!!
Holy crap!! Moving is one of my biggest pet peeves. My family moved a lot when I was growing up so I have always been good at this. I would never ask someone to "help us move" without having everything boxed up to load on the truck. My in laws asked my husband to help them move and he spent 8 hours helping his dad pack up and they still weren't done.
Cash Only.
GiphyFriend of mine broke his phone screen, I offered to try and fix it/told him I know a good repair shop to fix it if I couldn't. Ended up bringing it to a repair shop and getting it fixed for him. Gave it back to him and told him he doesn't have to pay me back right away and he can pay in installments or whenever he's financially ready with no pressure (because I had it repaired for him) He drops the "I don't have the money for this man" and never ended up paying me back.
2 weeks later don't I see that his brand new screen is completely shattered, worse than before. Not only that but he's talking about "buying a new phone anyway" while he was also looking at a new car to buy. He can buy a $1000 phone and a $3500 car But he doesn't have $100 to pay me back.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.