Ah, the great outdoors.
One of the worst places ever.
I have never understood people's fascination with camping.
Give me a TV, a bed, and air conditioning any day.
Camping only leads to trouble.
Convinvce me otherwise.
RedditorDolphins_With_D*ldoswanted to hear from everyone who has been left shook by spending time in the great outdoors. They asked:
"What's your scariest camping experience?"
I barely wonder into the backyard. Last time I was there, there were snakes. Hell no.
A Few SipsCardi B Drink GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Solo camp in the middle of nowhere. When I woke up in the morning someone had made a cup of tea and partially drunk it in the middle of the night. No sign of anyone anywhere."
"Camping with my kids in the woods for the first time. They were very nervous, but I assured them that nothing was out there to be afraid. Immediately after one of my assurances, we heard something moving outside of the tent. They started crying a bit, and I said it was either the wind or maybe a racoon a little bit away. At that moment, something came down on the top of the tent... something pushing in at four spots. They lost their minds with terror... even I screamed."
"It was our cat. My wife had let him outside, and he made his way down in the woods to see us. He was young and had never seen a tent before and jumped on top of it right above us. This was a few years ago, and my kids still bring up how scary it was and how daddy screamed."
"I went camping alone (female) with only my son who was about four at the time. When setting up in a fairly remote place, there was a guy who just stood watching us from about 100 metres away (his tent was all set up). During the night, we heard footsteps walking around our tent for about half an hour. No other noises."
"I sat up with a mallet in my hands for the rest of the night. When it got light, I went outside and saw hundreds of emu tracks all over our campsite and a friendly camper neighbour congratulating me on getting the tent up by myself because he wasn't sure I could do it but didn't want to intrude."
"Sheer terror when I was a kid at boy scout summer camp. One kid left a couple airheads out on the picnic table. Everyone woke up in the middle of the night to, no joke 30+ raccoons fighting over airheads and going into tents looking for more food. If you've never heard that many hissing and growling raccoons at the same time good for you."
Staring OutTired Over It GIFGiphy
"Camping in the Serengeti with Masai tribe men as guards. Sitting around the fire when suddenly the Masi looks out into the pitch blackness, turns the flashlight on illuminating The eyes of a lion 40 yards out. Just staring at us. I never heard a thing."
Now why do people do this to themselves? When there are lovely Marriots.
Under the Starsscared bear GIFGiphy
"I was about 8, I didn't want to sleep in the tent with my sister so I slept on a cot under the stars."
"Woke up to a bear sniffing my head/neck. I was basically paralyzed with fear, the bear left me and went to sniff around for snacks. It made enough noise to wake my parents who then scared it away. I moved my cot into my sister's tent immediately after."
"why, what happened?"
"I was camping in Zion National Park in late August 1992. The campground was almost empty by then. At 3:30 in the morning I woke up in midair. You know those dreams where that happens? I figured that's what it was... then I hit the ground. Earthquake. Then I was hearing cracking sounds, a few small thuds, then thud."
"Little bits of the cliff face had sheared off. Thankfully the campground was far enough from there that no one was injured. Had that happened in the daytime there's a good chance that a number of people would have been killed. The park was closed for a few days after that, and you couldn't get in or out for much of that day, as one entrance road was just gone, and the other one a boulder the size of a car had fallen on it."
"That one they got open that day and they kicked everyone out of the park. Anyhow I called home to say I was OK, everyone was like 'Why, what happened?' It hadn't made the news or anything, fortunately it was relatively mild, just some local destruction."
"I was tent camping in Arkansas around 2003-04, and The Blair Witch project was still fresh on my mind. I was about 20 years old at the time. Around 2-3 in the morning we’re woken up by what sounds like a small child running around our tent crying and trying to get in. I was thoroughly freaked out."
"Finally decided to open the tent and there was a kid that couldn’t have been more than 3 years old scared half to death and only wearing a diaper. I had lots of thought going through my head, but mostly - how the hell do I handle this. I can’t really go campsite to campsite, the ranger office is closed and I’m standing there in the middle of the night holding a child that isn’t mine."
"We had decided to call the cops, figuring it was the safest thing to do, just then a lady walks down the trail and is like ‘how did you get out?’ The kid was saying ‘mama, mama…’ and went straight to her. She nonchalantly said thank you and walked away. Now as a parent, I can’t imagine how much more that would freak me out if it were my kid."
"I went on a road trip with some friends to Lake Chelan. We left late and got lost (this was before cell phones, we didn’t have a map and trusted my friends memory). So we pull off the road and decide to camp for the night at a grassy area. We have limited lights and quickly make our tent."
"We’re woken in the morning by someone hitting the tent and screaming to get off his property. We’d inadvertently camped on some poor guys lawn. We were just dumb 18 year old kids but have never packed up camp that quickly before!"
Woofwild dogs puppies GIF by Nat Geo Wild Giphy
"Thought our tent was being attacked by 3 bears. Turns out someone's dogs just got loose and the light outside made them look gigantic."
And this is why I only sleep in actual beds. Inside.
Americans often drop popular sayings in conversation that have some element of truth to them.
You've undoubtedly come across phrases like, "Kill two birds with one stone" or "it's raining cats and dogs."
While those are used to describe actions, like the state of the weather, there are other phrases that are dispensed as words of wisdom to help individuals through a challenging situation.
But the endeavor to console someone by using this tactic is not always effective.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Braca5 asked:
"What popular sayings are bullsh*t?"
These sound familiar?
The Survivor Mentality
"whatever doesn't kill you just makes you stronger."
"Looks aren't important."
"It's true. They don't always or entirely matter, but they do. That's kind of how superficial humans are."
Not Every Pain Heals
"Time heals all wounds."
"There's another one that goes like this 'time heals nothing, it just replaces memories.'"
The stigma around this is so foul, the guilty will lie about their offensive crime.
"He who smelt it dealt it"
"Whoever said the rhyme did the crime."
Psychology Around The Guilt
"The irony is it's almost always the opposite that's true. Most people would rather just be quiet about a fart than try to put it on somebody else and as it is you usually become pretty accustomed to your own and probably don't even smell half of the ones that slip out so likely the person who dealt it is going to be one of the last to actually consciously smell it."
Playing by the rules doesn't always get you places.
"Cheaters never win."
"A better saying:"
'Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it Treason.' John Harington (1561 - 1612)
Comeuppance Never Comes
"What goes around, comes around."
"Bullsh*t. I've seen people be jerks my entire life (I'm 57 y/o) and they never got what should have come around to them."
Thing About Karma
"Worse, it's an excuse to not take responsibility. A few years back, I had discovered a nasty person who was fooling the public by buying dogs from Amish auctions of out of state, bringing them, unvaccinated, across state lines, and pawning them off on the public as 'rescues' but also taking loads of donations when she was not registered as a charity. She was not using the funds for medical care. The gal was a flashy blonde in designer clothes and knew how to fool people."
"The county authorities were investigating and needed more evidence. I approached the owner of a local pet supply store where she operated her scam and asked him to cooperate. He banned her from the store but completely refused to cooperate with the investigation. Excuse, 'Karma will get her.'"
"B*tch got off with just a fine when she would have faced animal cruelty charges."
"Karma? No, it's not a thing."
Those who adopt a passive way of thinking end up making up for lost time.
Turning A Blind Eye
"Out of sight, out of mind."
"Ever lost track of a spider?"
How Much Time Do You Have?
"Good things come to those who wait."
Lond Distance Relationships Aren't For Everyone
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
I think those who say "if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life," is debatable.
Depending on the situation, being forced to do something you once loved so you could earn a living can potentially breed resentment.
I'm a former dancer who absolutely lived off the adrenaline of performing on a stage. But when the cast I was performing with at a theme park was forced to do the same rigorous show five times a day–sometimes in intense heat–I was miserable.
Once, I severely twisted my ankle mid-performance simply because I was physically exhausted but continued giving it my 100% when my body was ready to give out. That's when most performance-based injuries occur.
That phrase certainly got a second hard look from me back then.
No two people share exactly the same likes and interests.
But on occasion, one might find themselves being among the few, if not the sole members of a certain fan club.
Indeed, while Cats earned a place on the list of the worst movies of all time, its 19% score on Rotten Tomatoes suggests that there are a handful of people who actually liked it.
Or while many people dread having to clean their homes, some simply can't wait to get started, and will look for any and every opportunity to do so.
Redditor StardustNova_ was curious to hear where members of the Reddit community found themselves in a distinct minority of appreciation, leading them to ask:
"What's something you like that the vast majority people hate?"
You've got me all tied up in knots!
"I love untangling things."
"Your Christmas lights end up in a ball and there’s no telling where it starts or ends?"
"Got a necklace that got rolled up into a total mess?"
"I’m your de-tangler."
"Headphones come out of your pocket looking like a Tangela? "
"Total zen for me."
"Wish I could make a few bucks with it tho."- Not_Jo_Mama
I'm all ears!
"People that talk a lot so I don’t need to."
"I like listening to them & I find their energy refreshing."- krasavetsa
"Everything about the airport."
"Idk why but it’s so fascinating."
"Honestly I like it more than the trip sometimes lol."- abigailgwhitneyairport GIFGiphy
"The cold never bothered me anyway"
"A Winnipeg winter day where there's not a cloud in the sky or a breath of wind, but it's so f*cking cold out your nose hairs freeze together every time you breathe."- FakeLordFarquaad
When life gives you lemons...
"Apparently a lot of people don't like the lemon/yellow starburst candy, and that's the one I prefer."- mermaid_with_pants
Sudsy, soapy dreams...
"Doing the dishes."
"I find it so calming."- shakensunshineSeason 5 Episode 10 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
The gift that keeps on giving.
"It's super therapeutic and relaxing to me."
"I'll wrap everyone's presents in the house, even the ones they have to give to other people!"- happygoose2022
Sweeet and sparkly!
"Fruit flavored sparkling water."- suitcaseinherhand
"It's raining, it's pouring..."
"Gloomy and rainy days."- eggtart_princerainy day GIFGiphy
Can't dive too deep!
"I got addicted to research when I was in college and something about putting everything together to present a coherent argument is just exciting for me."- ILoveFoodALotMore
It's always interesting to hear the thing which would make some people groan with misery that would make others cheer with glee.
Nor should always look down on someone for loving something you absolutely hate, as they could help you wrap those presents you've been putting off because you hate it so much.
And who knows, maybe Cats wasn't as bad as you remembered...
It's usually a good feeling to be "on top".
To be found at the top of the list of a notable or unique accomplishment.
Though having the distinction of being in the top 0.1 percent of something might not always be something to brag about, resulting in some keeping this distinction to themselves.
If only because some people might be unusually fascinated by their so-called "accomplishment", that they'll never stop being bombarded by questions.
Redditor ImLostInTheForrest was curious to hear if any members of the Reddit community believed they were in the 0.1 percent of anything, be it commendable, bizarre or unfortunate, leading them to ask:
"What’s something you believe you may be in the 0.1% of?"
A mighty heart indeed
"Scars on my heart."
"I have about 30, I think."
"On my 4th heart procedure, I had 24 cardiac ablations."
"They use radio waves to kill tissue to create scarring so that effectively signals can't travel through that way."
"During one procedure, epicardial, meaning both inside and outside the heart. by the top electrophysiologist on the east coast."
"He said only one other patient of his had more done in one procedure."
"Took 10 hours."
"I could hear the nurses gossiping about me in the hallway."
"This was 7 years ago, and now my heart is working great!"- pearlie_girl·
Extremely comfortable in my skin
"Half of my body is a birthmark of tan skin, and the other half is pale white."
"It's right down the middle of my stomach and same with my back."
"I've only ever seen 1 person online with it saying 'chimerism' but idk if that's same with me."
"Idk but it's uncommon." - User Deleted
"Still living with stage IV lung cancer for 13 yrs."- Flashy-Cattle-8086
Big shoes to fill indeed...
"I wear a size 18."- wearegoodthings
Love your job!
"Don't know if it's less cool because I do it for work, but I 'photograph' atoms and crystalline atomic structures most days."
"I get to see the world in a way few ever do which is kinda neat."- RayseBraizeAnimation Loop GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
An exclusive club no one wants to be part of...
"I have this condition called Miyoshi Myopathy, which, thankfully, affects only my calves and hence my walking capabilities."
"My doctor told me it is rare, but tbh statistically rare does not really mean anything, everyone might have it but they either did not get out of their way to test it, via taking blood and had it examined in a lab, or they just never realized there was something wrong at all."
"If you are wondering why I said 'Thankfully it only affected the legs', it is because it is a muscle disorder, and some disorders affect Cardiac, heart, and Pulmonary, lungs, muscles that will obviously not be pretty."
"I have to get tested every year to make sure all my vital functions are normal and as of now nothing significant is noted and I should be living a long and healthy life."- 1123Icantthinkofname
It's harder than you think...
"Folks who know percentages."- mrg1957Giphy
"Apparently only 0.1% of people become mechanical engineers in the US and an even smaller percentage are women, so maybe that?"
"I was also less than 2 lbs when I was born, and I think the percentage is probably similar."
"I somehow have no lasting physical issues from that, though my sister has cerebral palsy."- s_p_o_c_k
Plenty to go around!
"I have 3 functional kidneys."
"No it doesn't mean I pee more."
"No it doesn't mean I can drink more alcohol, thats the liver."
"No I won't sell it for under $71,241." - User Deleted
While some wouldn't necessarily consider some of these things an accomplishment, all of them certainly make for fascinating conversation starters.
Seriously, where would the third kidney even go...?
They say there's no use crying over spilled milk, but that doesn't mean there's no use in saying something to diffuse the tension.
When something goes horribly wrong, a comment that comes out of left field or a quippy comment can make everyone feel better.
Once a particular comment proves effective, there's also no real reason to look for something else. Instead, the aforementioned comment becomes your go-to.
In order to find out what those effective comments are, Redditor CruelHandLucas asked:
"What is your favorite thing to say when something goes terribly wrong?"
It's A Story
"This is good for the plot."
"I always say "It's just a part of the character development""
"whenever something goes completely the wrong way i think “ooooh plot twist”"
"“Let’s start again, but this time with feeling,” is one of my favorites."
"I want this on my gravestone"
I Meant To Do That!
"One time when I used to work in a kitchen the head chef accidentally clipped the chip/fries bowl where you dump freshly cooked chips/fries to season them and sent it flying across the kitchen and crashing to the floor with the clang that only stainless steel kitchenware can emit. Without missing a beat he went "I'll just pop that there for a sec" totally deadpan and turned back to the counter by the passe where he was finishing plating some dishes. Something about the humour of it cut through all the chaos of the busy kitchen and I was in tears of laughter. 10 years later I still say "I'll just pop that there for a sec" any time I knock something over, no one else seems to find it as funny as I do but it still entertains me."
"In my kitchen when someone drops a plate or anything its mandatory for someone to tell them “that doesnt go there”"
"Sometimes before things even hit the ground I'll proclaim "Take that, floor!""
""Well that's not ideal, it's it?""
"Best friend is British. When we play golf and she hits a bad shot she just says, "well that's unfortunate." And I love it."
"i usually just shout “BIT SAD INNIT” in a British accent."
"…. My friends hate me"
"YES, QUITE BLOODY MISERABLE, I MUST SAY"
Show No Emotion
"With a neutral expression, and unemotionally."
"I do that but I say “Joy. Deep joy.” Completely deadpan lol."
You Never Saw Me. You Never Even Knew Me.
"I was never here"
"I was never given a name"
Stopped Too Soon
"I picked a hell of a week to stop sniffing glue"
"Whadda week to stop shooting shark adrenaline."
– Deleted User
"Ah gee scoob..."
Those Cartoon Responses
"Great googly moogly"
"I'm with this or "Oh bother" like pooh"
All Eyes On Me
"I like to pause time with a loud record scratch and say "yup. That's me. I bet you're wondering how I got here.....""
Sometimes, when things go horribly wrong, all you want to do is bang your head against the wall...sometimes, until you knock yourself unconscious.
Or, maybe you want to scream and cry and hide in a corner.
However, finding something fun to say may be the best response...and the best way to de-stress and move on.