Sometimes love just ain't enough. That is more than just a fantastic 80's pop balled, its a life truth and mantra.
Love is tricky and the yearning for it, even trickier. We can put ourselves in some toxic situations just because we want to share our hearts with another.
That doesn't make us stupid, just human. But it is imperative to know when it's time to flee. Don't ignore the red flags. When you feel it in your gut, run for the hills. Don't make excuses.
Redditor u/MistaPwickles wanted to hear about the times people knew when it was right to make an exit in "love" by asking:
What made you straight up "nope" out of a relationship?
I stayed in a few relationships years longer than I should've. Eventually I realized what I was doing and accepted the end. The days I walked away were some of the hardest and smartest of my life. Who can relate?
Family Affairangry oh no GIF by CBC Giphy
"When she game home drunk one night, asking me if my brother had told me."
"Told me what?"
"Her: that I cheated on you with him?"
"It was already on the rocks from roughly around the time the millionth drunken argument happened, however the moment that sealed it was when she said something to me along the lines of "if your dad wanted to be alive he would still be here. My dad died in a car accident 3 years before that. Immediately went from loving her enough to make it work to thinking she was the most vile person on Earth."
"Where are you?"
"Genuinely feared for my safety. I went over and we got in an argument so I slept on the floor essentially. I went to the bathroom to text one of my buddies to come pick me up since I thought she had fallen asleep. I suddenly get a text from her saying "Where are you?" and my phone made a sound. I froze up and opened the bathroom door and she was already standing there waiting for me in the darkness. She didn't say a word at all, just stared at me until I walked by."
"I went back to my spot on the floor and got under the blanket and pretended to be going asleep until she did. After about 30 minutes I decided to peek out from under the covers and she was literally towering over me in total darkness with her eyes wide open the entire time. I got the freak out of there so fast."
"We went to the mall and stopped by this little kiosk selling cookies. I decided that I would get one cookie. The lady working there said if I buy 2 I get one free. I decided to buy two and get the third one free. My date WENT OFF on this lady saying she's trying to scam me etc, etc. He was legit yelling so loud that it was echoing through the mall. It was so embarrassing. If you're rude to people in customer service, you're not for me."
Dumplin'Pop Tv No GIF by Schitt's Creek Giphy
"He canceled my order meal while I went to the bathroom because he thought I ordered too much. It was just small extra dumpling."
Oh see, now it once it starts taking a turn into Lifetime movie thriller category, then you should already be backed. And if they are rude, don't question it, that will never change. Just move along...
"She picked me because I had the same first name, general appearance, and lived in the same area of the state as her ex fiancé, of two years, that she had just been dumped by a month before we met. I felt even more offended about all of that than just being straight up rejected."
"When my now ex wife came in to the living room where I was sleeping on the couch after a fight and started lunging at me. She asked me if she reminded me of my stepdad who used to come in my room at night and stand over me before he dragged me out of bed by my ankles. He would then put the boots to me for whatever sins I had committed that day."
"She was the only person I had ever shared this with. She went out of town for work 2 days later and when she came home I was gone and in another state. It was remarkable the amount of abuse I put up with to that point. It dawned on me then that if he had returned to my life I wouldn't let him hurt me so there was no reason to let her abuse me either."
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
When we were young...
"I was going through some stuff in my early twenties and was pretty desperate for any kind of affection, which is the only reason I took a couple weeks to back out of this. The second time I ever met her, she told me to delete every girl's number from my phone (sister included)."
"She then came over to my place, saw I had a full bookshelf and ridiculed me for being a reader, and in the same breath announced that she loved cocaine so much and wanted me to try it. Finally, I escaped, but by then she was already sleeping with two of my friends (who are obviously no longer my friends). The good news is, I've now been happily married for five years and consider myself so incredibly lucky."
"My brother took a girl to a high end sushi place and his date ordered 3x the food as he did (he just got a grilled salmon). She ate almost none of it and at the end she said she ordered all the extras so she could "take some home for tomorrow". When the waiter showed up for the bill she excused herself to go to the bathroom."
"The waiter asked my brother if he wanted to split the check and at that point my brother did the right thing and stuck her with $100 worth of sushi and booze. The girl returned to see a huge check at her seat."
Good Nightcouple argue GIF by The Maury Show Giphy
"She kept waking me up over and over all night trying to have an argument with me. The argument was about me going to sleep."
Where to Start?
"How about things that should have been red flags but I was too naive to recognize?"
"-left notes on my car windshield when I was at work/a friend's house/the store (seemed sweet, but I realized later that was my SO keeping tabs on me, even when I didn't say where I was)."
"-let me know how much a hit man cost and that it was "cheaper than you'd expect."
"-would tell me something, and then later say that was a lie or a test, as though I should have figured that out instead of expecting the truth."
"-expected me to answer every call, and would get angry if I wanted to end the call first."
"-complained about my friends and family all the time. All of them. Apparently everyone I knew was manipulative and/or rude. I didn't figure out this was an attempt to isolate me until after we broke up."
I don't cry at work anymore...
"I kept having to call the cops to calm down my wife after she became addicted to a slew of prescription drugs. I told her doctors that opiates for a a ruptured vertebrae, stimulants for ADHD, Ambien most nights to help her sleep and an assortment of others for anxiety and depression, and more to combat side-effects, made her violent."
"One of the times that I called the cops to calm the situation down during a bad episode just made me cry. All he had to say was that he had already been there, and asked when it would stop.I thought I'd been holding things together reasonably well. I had an office job where no one knew what was up, though my work had suffered greatly. I kept clothes and food in my trunk, just in case I had to stay out for a bit because she had decided I was part of 'the conspiracy'."
"I had a gym on the way to work I could where I could shower or just have some down time. I did all of our housework and errands, because she couldn't work or do much of anything most of the time. Each time she cut herself she told the hospital it was an accident, and she always tried to go to a different one (we lived in a major metro, between hospitals)."
"The cop saw through it. Being seen like that and knowing that even that lifestyle was running out hurt. I'm now recovering from the divorce and enjoying the calm. I still sometimes panic for no reason, and I feel more comfortable with clothes and food stashed in the trunk, but I feel much healthier. I get more sleep. My blood pressure has normalized (for the most part). I don't cry at work anymore."
"I received a message that clearly wasn't meant for me. We just had our first date which went really well. Calling me cheap and a slimeball and how I'm on my last last chance to make things right on her coming birthday with lots of presents. I replied "hi this is X, we just met and had one date, was that message for someone else? She replied pretending to be her 12 year old sister. Then apparently her dad messaged me with how he's told off his younger daughter. I'm out, forget that crap 🤣."
Real Life IssuesSuper Bowl Ok GIF by Pepsi Giphy
"When he didn't want to have sex because he was grossed out by my period that I had finished three days prior. Noped out of that one real quick."
Love Not Defined
"I told her I was going to leave her, and she said "so you're going to leave me—just like you left your brother?" My twin brother committed suicide in 2017, and she knew how much guilt I had over not being there for him. Such a manipulative, disgusting thing for any person to say. Especially someone who claims to "love" you. I moved out two days later."
"He wanted me to grow out my pit and leg hair and texted, called, and emailed me repeatedly about it. It seemed like a pretty silly thing and he just had a little fetish but after several days of this my sister said, "Why do you always attract the controlling freaks?" and I finally had a moment of clarity."
6 years in...
"Married for six years. Started out thinking she just struggled with depression and anxiety sometimes, but things kept escalating. I walked away when she started threatening to stab me in my sleep. We had already tried several couples therapists and individual therapists, but she refused to consider medication."
"I called her to meet up and try to find some closure, but she cut me off telling me I wasn't allowed to leave her and as punishment she was sleeping with two other guys. At that point I just ignored her number and filed for divorce. Hope she's doing well, but glad to not be afraid for my life!"
"My brother came to visit me. After I spend whole day with my gf, it was time to see my brother because we did not see each other for a long time. We prepared some snacks and about to start LOTR because both of us love LOTR. She called me and started a long conversation on phone. I said my brother waits for me and she said that I cannot spend my time with anyone because it belongs to her. It was last talk between two of us."
"Followed me to a night out, got on his knees stopping traffic in the middle of a city centre street to declare his love. We had been on two dates. He also told me that same night he could see into the future and already knew he was going to die defending my honour while I was carrying our twins. Yeah... he was fun."
Be PositiveAwkward Season 4 GIF by The Office Giphy
"Told everybody she knew about any little disagreement. Anytime I could be perceived unreasonable it was everyone's business. But somehow the surprises, special dates, lending her cousin rent money, all of that wasn't brought up. Just negative stuff was public knowledge."
How is it crazy people always find a good heart to trample over, yet so many of us kind folk just sit here alone? I'll never understand it. But better to be alone, than living in fear and chaos. That is when boring is better.
When I was a child, I wanted so badly for dragons to exist. To be fair, I had a bit of an obsession with stories of man-eating reptiles and serpents after watching The Lair of the White Worm at too young an age. (Thank you for rocking my world, Ken Russell.)
Sadly... they don't. And if they did, I gather they'd probably pose a major national security risk!
People told us all about the mythical creatures they wish actually existed after Redditor Nymeria asked the online community,
"What creature from folklore do you think exists or once existed?"
"Amphisbaena - two-headed snake, said to have been created from the blood of Medusa's severed head.
The animal is Amphisbaena vermicularis which is a legless type of lizard, and since it digs through earth most of its life, its head and tail look alike to the untrained eye, hence the misconception that it is a two-headed snake."
A likely story from the two-headed snake propaganda team!
"Nobody mentioned Rocs or Thunderbirds? I mean I'm generally skeptical of cryptid stuff but of all the ones on the list, big ol' bird seems pretty plausible to me. I figure the whole elephant lifting, thunder flapping thing is big fish story stuff but I could see something like Argentavis surviving to the time of stone age man and god knows Quetzalcoatlus gives a pretty good idea how ridiculously large a creature can get and still be capable of flight. Who knows what's sitting in the fossil record with a Neanderthal clutched in its beak."
"The pouakai, a monstrous bird from Maori folklore, is more than likely a memory of the Haast's eagle from southern New Zealand. It's main prey were the also-unbelievably giant moa birds, but I imagine it would have little difficulty carrying off a small human child. So indeed, perhaps there are other long-gone giant raptor birds that posed a threat to early humans and then grew even larger in their imaginations."
"The family that lived there..."
"The mysterious so-called "flabby egg monster" at Glamis Castle, in Scotland.
I think it existed, but the mysterious and inaccurate folklore around it basically masked what it really was. It's far more likely that this was a highly disabled or otherwise deformed member of the family that was kept hidden from public view, with accounts from the time suggest something that sounds an awful lot like what we now know as Noonan Syndrome. People with Noonan Syndrome can have totally normal lifespans which explains why it went on for so long.
The family that lived there had a long history of genetic abnormalities, including one of the Queen Mother's own relatives who was hidden from public view and died in 2014."
"Since we didn't really start..."
"Definitely something in the sea. Since we didn't really start truly exploring underwater or polluting it except for the past 100 years or so. I definitely could've seen some near-extinct rare sea serpent-type thing living well beyond the rest of its race. Hell, even today we find new creatures once thought extinct in the depths."
I remember how much it blew my mind to learn about the discovery of the coelacanth, which were thought to have become extinct in the Late Cretaceous, around 66 million years ago, but were rediscovered in 1938 off the coast of South Africa!
"The current information..."
"The current information we have on different species of humans before ours won out really makes me believe that stories of dwarves and woodland elves might come from a place of truth."
This is exactly why I enjoyed watching Trollhunter.
"I think a lot..."
"I think a lot of folklore creatures were probably based on stories of real animals from far-off places, just heavily distorted with time and retelling by generations of people who'd never actually seen it."
"I think there was a species..."
"Humans have a fear or natural revulsion to things that look human but not quite human (think uncanny valley). Natural fears help keep us alive, for example, most people don't like spiders because they present a real danger to us and they move in a decidedly unhuman way. I think there was a species that almost looked human but was a predator to humans until we got smart enough to hunt them into extinction. It's probably the source of skinwalker legends."
Have you read a few skinwalker legends? They're terrifying stuff. Do not recommend reading about them late at night!
"But I certainly doubt..."
"Nessie is probably based off a real aquatic prehistoric animal. But I certainly doubt she actually exists in Loch Ness. If you wanted to take a picture of Nessie you are millions of years too late."
Sadly, Nessie continues to evade us. It just wants to be left alone!
"I honestly think..."
"I honestly think there's a solid chance Bigfoot or something extremely similar exists out there."
Where are you, mythical creatures?
If you're hiding out somewhere, I can't say I blame any of you. Humans will just find a way to capitalize off you.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
It's always nice to be complimented, isn't it?
Maybe? It might have been a compliment?
What is the strangest compliment you have ever received?
It's nice to be given recognition for the work we do, for the effort we put in to the things we get done.
It can still feel weird when it happens.
In Today's Day And Age, That Matters
"I was washing my hands in a gas station, and this lady told me I'm very good at washing my hands. Then she leaned close and said, "No, really. I'm a health inspector, and I'm very impressed."
Don't Ignore Those Calf Raises
"Years ago, I was working out at my high school's gym. This young lady approaches me and says something along those lines "It's completely unjust! I'll never have ankles as good as yours, no matter how much I work out! You're f-cked!" Prior to storming out. I'm also a man."
Upside! Otters Are Cute.
"When you cry, you look like a sad otter. It's very cute."
"Said to me as a 27 year old man."
"In their defense, otters are adorable. And age is not inversely proportional to adorableness."
You can only gauge so much from a person just by looking at them. To really know them, you have to get to really know them.
In these circumstances, these people were clearly enigma's to others.
What An Odd Prediction
"I was minding my own business in a New York bar. I was sleepy and yawned a lot because it was late."
"This random person who I'd never met before approaches me and asks me a question "Are you a native of Boston? You yawn the way people in Boston movies yawn."
"I am from Boston, and he was from Norway."
"You have a very swan like voice". She did mean it as a compliment but she'd never heard a swan so she was just going off of how swans look."
"I imagine they sound like angry geese, which doesn't sound like it'd be a compliment, or it'd be a passive-aggressive insult"
Blessed Be You, Sir
"A homeless man once yelled out 'Heyyyy sexy Jesus!' at me."
"So that was nice."
People like what they like. If someone says they appreciate a part of your body, first, make sure you're comfortable with it and, if you're not, tell someone, and second, it takes all kinds.
Ready To Start Dropping Kids
"I was told by a random lady in the grocery store that i have birthing hips, i am a 26yo man. Not sure if it was a compliment, but it was definitely strange."
You Don't Know What You've Got...?
"I was told that I have nice legs by some random guy that didn't have legs at Wal-Mart once."
Just Because You're Dead Doesn't Mean You Skip Leg Day
"I was dressed as a zombie for a scare acting job at a haunted house - full-on gore, horrendous outfit, the works."
"I scared a group of lads and then as they were walking away I heard - "Dude, was it just me or did that zombie have a fantastic @ss?"
"Stupid sexy zombie..."
In To My Sweet Sense Of Fashion
"A random girl passed me at the mall one time. We made eye contact for maybe a second. Then she just said "Nice pants" and kept on walking. My roommate said she was talking about my butt, but I like to think I had some sweet pants on that day."
Take the compliment?
Wins are so rare in this day and age, you should take the 'W' whenever you can it seems.
Bad grammar... where to begin?
It's not "could of." It's "could've."It's not "should of." It's "should've."
Oh, here's another: "Losing" is not the same as "loosing."They are, in fact, entirely different things.
Don't make me hate you – why does everyone get these wrong?!
People vented their frustrations with bad grammar after Redditor GreatBigWhite asked the online community,
"What is something that most people don't use correctly?"
"Especially hearing people..."
"The word etcetera. Incorrectly pronounced excetra which drives me crazy. Especially hearing people on the news say it."
I concur! I hear this all the time, especially here in the Northeast.
"It's a pet peeve..."
"The they're/there/their and to/too/two. It's a pet peeve of mine when people say "This is to boring." In any situation when they use the wrong "to." My mates had taken University-level English classes in high school yet they still make the "there" or "to" mistakes, and it makes my blood boil."
Whenever I see this on Facebook or anywhere, my eyes twitch.
"Incredibly: should've. I've seen a ton of people write "should of" when they mean should've (as in should have) and in my opinion that's worse than confusing "then/than"."
"To be fair..."
"Less vs. fewer. Less is for uncountable nouns: you have less time, less pain, less work to do. Fewer is for countable nouns: you have fewer apples, fewer cans of soup, fewer distractions. People usually use less when they should use fewer; it rarely happens the other way around. People will say "there are less cars on the road," but they probably won't say "there is fewer traffic." There is a related problem with much vs. many. To be fair, what is countable and uncountable can get complicated, and it's easy to make mistakes (I do it too). You can't have fewer money, you can only have fewer dollars and cents (money, amusingly, is uncountable). You can't have fewer pizza, but you can have fewer pizzas (pluralization of something uncountable makes it countable)."
"If you participated..."
If you participated in something you were "a part" of it. If you are "apart" from something or someone you are deliberately not a part."
And that's a fact.
Now if only everyone else could just get the memo.
"The phrase "I couldn't care less"
Most Americans I've heard say, "I could care less". Like come on, you're using that all wrong!!"
"It's a form..."
"Begs the question"
It doesn't mean to raise the question.
It's a form of circular reasoning where the argument requires the conclusion to be true, rather than the argument supporting the conclusion."
You should have seen the way people's heads exploded when this was explained in a philosophy course I took.
"Neither is wrong!"
"Not the "error" itself, but when people try to correct you on "grey" and "gray" or something like that. Neither is wrong! One is preferred by Americans, the other is more common in Britain."
"When someone doesn't know..."
"When, someone doesn't know how to use commas, because, they can't understand a simple, grammar rule.
It really, pisses, me, off."
Please don't do this ever again. I hate it.
""Weary" vs "wary" seems to be the latest one popping up. People just say "wary" when they mean either "weary" or "wary." It's like we've elected to get rid of the word "weary" for some reason. It's not like it's hard to remember the difference.
Weary: tired. "I am weary of coughing all night and day."
Wary: apprehensive. "I am wary of my friend's latest business venture."
Yeah, yeah... so we're the Grammar police. And judging by the way everyone seems to regard grammar, we're doomed.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
I don't know if it's laziness or fear. They are the two strongest reasons for putting things off in life. I totally get it and I'm completely guilty of it.
I often reference the legendary mantra Scarlett O'Hara lived by... "I'll think about tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day." People love and cling to that idea.
Most of us keeping pushing tomorrows. And eventually, that often leads to chaos. And sometimes death. I'm not exaggerating. There are just some things in life that are too important to ignore. No matter how difficult.
So let's get to it.
Redditor u/Bedwar_man wanted everyone to be more responsible and start being more on top of things, they asked:
What is something that, when left unchecked, can ruin a persons life?
Money and debt are my two biggest issues. Debt just keeps building if you don't get on it. I'm too afraid to call the student loan people. I'll do it tomorrow. Whoops...
MOST IMPORTANT!!!Think About It Reaction GIF by IdentityGiphy
"Mental health. It took me years to realize how much I've dissociated. It became how I deal with everything. There are so many unhealthy ways to live your life by ignoring mental health."
Check the skies...
"Birds crap at up to 26,000 feet, or 14000% higher than the CN tower. When was the last time someone got killed by falling avian feces? But no, seriously. I used to work on tall buildings and radio towers. I'm also afraid of heights, so while I was up there I'd work out out how fast various things would hit the ground to distract myself."
"Air resistance is a real witch, and rotational effects make it even slower. Pennies dropped off the tallest building west of the Mississippi, the one I was on top of, would barely break 22mph. Harking a loogie over was no worse to pedestrians than pigeons."
"It was only once I got into the tools I was using that there would be an injury. A 9/16 wrench dropped 900 feet might actually kill someone, if it hit them in the head just right. The 1-inch would kill someone most of the time. Needless to say all my tools were on loops, and undroppable."
"Disassociation. Your brain is an incredibly powerful force and it can start working against your best interests so quickly while telling you that everything is fine."
"Thank you for this. I looked up dissociation in Google from this thread. I realize I have been struggling with both derealization and depersonalization in teens, and even now to some extent. I too think physical activities and activities I am really passionate about are the ones I "participate." I can say I have been a spectator to many years of my life and not feel my own experience. It is really strange, how do we come out of it??"
I'm scared to be honest...
"Mental and emotional abuse. Damn, I'm 36 and still trying to undo the damage done my whole childhood. The pain of beatings doesn't compare to how mental and emotional abuse screws with me every day in so many ways. And even stupid stuff. I go into fight or flight mode if my boss wants to talk to me. I constantly think my friends and my husband are mad at me or sick of me. I'm scared to be honest about my feelings sometimes because I don't want to be ridiculed."
Need Zzzz...Stressed Episode 19 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"A severe lack of sleep. I have no longer been able to sleep at night for some odd reason, so my brain causes me to essentially pass out during the day."
Open your mouth...Richard Kiel Smile GIF by James Bond 007Giphy
"Take care of your TEETH. Unless you want to end up with a molar shattering one day and having to get a quadruple root canal."
"Just got gallbladder surgery! I had a pain under my right ribs off and on. Then at one point it wouldn't go away and kept getting worse. Had an ultrasound and emergency surgery like two days later. I had a huge gallstone blocking my bile duct, and it would have ruptured. Yeah pain can come and go, but if it gets to the point where it is there all the time, go to the doctor!"
Love your skin...
"Strange skin growths. One of my wife's uncles was at a family gathering that was also attended by my BIL, an ER doc. The uncle mentioned that he'd had this odd growth on his leg for some time but hadn't bothered to do anything about it. Showed it to my BIL who adamantly advised him to get seen immediately. Uncle still took his time—too many other things to do or whatever. A year on an the man is just riddled with cancer. I don't think there's much to be done other than making him as comfortable as possible at this point."
"Email. My kid almost lost the financial aid award because it's summer; I don't have to check my email. It was an intense hustle to get everything squared away and not lose that spot at college."
"At the beginning of all the grad school classes I TA'd for I always ended the first day by asking, "Who here has a smartphone? Who has an email app on their phone? Who has their student email account synced with the app?"
"It was always all hands raised, all hands, two or three hands. I would make them set it up before they left. Checking your email in the morning and evening takes maybe 5 minutes on average unless you are a very important person in some organization who should really be checking more often!"
the long list...list GIFGiphy
"Headaches, skin cancer, tooth pain, kids, UTI which can turn into kidney infection, wound infection, bowel disease, debt, bad relationship."
The list is endless. So just start chipping away. Stay on top of it. Teeth and mind first. Stay calm.