Sometimes love just ain't enough. That is more than just a fantastic 80's pop balled, its a life truth and mantra.
Love is tricky and the yearning for it, even trickier. We can put ourselves in some toxic situations just because we want to share our hearts with another.
That doesn't make us stupid, just human. But it is imperative to know when it's time to flee. Don't ignore the red flags. When you feel it in your gut, run for the hills. Don't make excuses.
Redditoru/MistaPwickleswanted to hear about the times people knew when it was right to make an exit in "love" by asking:
What made you straight up "nope" out of a relationship?
I stayed in a few relationships years longer than I should've. Eventually I realized what I was doing and accepted the end. The days I walked away were some of the hardest and smartest of my life. Who can relate?
Family Affair
angry oh no GIF by CBCGiphy"When she game home drunk one night, asking me if my brother had told me."
"Told me what?"
"Her: that I cheated on you with him?"
- pdAVEUS
Vile
"It was already on the rocks from roughly around the time the millionth drunken argument happened, however the moment that sealed it was when she said something to me along the lines of "if your dad wanted to be alive he would still be here. My dad died in a car accident 3 years before that. Immediately went from loving her enough to make it work to thinking she was the most vile person on Earth."
"Where are you?"
"Genuinely feared for my safety. I went over and we got in an argument so I slept on the floor essentially. I went to the bathroom to text one of my buddies to come pick me up since I thought she had fallen asleep. I suddenly get a text from her saying "Where are you?" and my phone made a sound. I froze up and opened the bathroom door and she was already standing there waiting for me in the darkness. She didn't say a word at all, just stared at me until I walked by."
"I went back to my spot on the floor and got under the blanket and pretended to be going asleep until she did. After about 30 minutes I decided to peek out from under the covers and she was literally towering over me in total darkness with her eyes wide open the entire time. I got the freak out of there so fast."
- GAU8
Rude!
"We went to the mall and stopped by this little kiosk selling cookies. I decided that I would get one cookie. The lady working there said if I buy 2 I get one free. I decided to buy two and get the third one free. My date WENT OFF on this lady saying she's trying to scam me etc, etc. He was legit yelling so loud that it was echoing through the mall. It was so embarrassing. If you're rude to people in customer service, you're not for me."
Dumplin'
Pop Tv No GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy"He canceled my order meal while I went to the bathroom because he thought I ordered too much. It was just small extra dumpling."
Oh see, now it once it starts taking a turn into Lifetime movie thriller category, then you should already be backed. And if they are rude, don't question it, that will never change. Just move along...
A Copy
"She picked me because I had the same first name, general appearance, and lived in the same area of the state as her ex fiancé, of two years, that she had just been dumped by a month before we met. I felt even more offended about all of that than just being straight up rejected."
Evil
"When my now ex wife came in to the living room where I was sleeping on the couch after a fight and started lunging at me. She asked me if she reminded me of my stepdad who used to come in my room at night and stand over me before he dragged me out of bed by my ankles. He would then put the boots to me for whatever sins I had committed that day."
"She was the only person I had ever shared this with. She went out of town for work 2 days later and when she came home I was gone and in another state. It was remarkable the amount of abuse I put up with to that point. It dawned on me then that if he had returned to my life I wouldn't let him hurt me so there was no reason to let her abuse me either."
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
When we were young...
"I was going through some stuff in my early twenties and was pretty desperate for any kind of affection, which is the only reason I took a couple weeks to back out of this. The second time I ever met her, she told me to delete every girl's number from my phone (sister included)."
"She then came over to my place, saw I had a full bookshelf and ridiculed me for being a reader, and in the same breath announced that she loved cocaine so much and wanted me to try it. Finally, I escaped, but by then she was already sleeping with two of my friends (who are obviously no longer my friends). The good news is, I've now been happily married for five years and consider myself so incredibly lucky."
Pay Up
"My brother took a girl to a high end sushi place and his date ordered 3x the food as he did (he just got a grilled salmon). She ate almost none of it and at the end she said she ordered all the extras so she could "take some home for tomorrow". When the waiter showed up for the bill she excused herself to go to the bathroom."
"The waiter asked my brother if he wanted to split the check and at that point my brother did the right thing and stuck her with $100 worth of sushi and booze. The girl returned to see a huge check at her seat."
Good Night
couple argue GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy"She kept waking me up over and over all night trying to have an argument with me. The argument was about me going to sleep."
Where to Start?
"How about things that should have been red flags but I was too naive to recognize?"
"-left notes on my car windshield when I was at work/a friend's house/the store (seemed sweet, but I realized later that was my SO keeping tabs on me, even when I didn't say where I was)."
"-let me know how much a hit man cost and that it was "cheaper than you'd expect."
"-would tell me something, and then later say that was a lie or a test, as though I should have figured that out instead of expecting the truth."
"-expected me to answer every call, and would get angry if I wanted to end the call first."
"-complained about my friends and family all the time. All of them. Apparently everyone I knew was manipulative and/or rude. I didn't figure out this was an attempt to isolate me until after we broke up."
- BitwiseB
I don't cry at work anymore...
"I kept having to call the cops to calm down my wife after she became addicted to a slew of prescription drugs. I told her doctors that opiates for a a ruptured vertebrae, stimulants for ADHD, Ambien most nights to help her sleep and an assortment of others for anxiety and depression, and more to combat side-effects, made her violent."
"One of the times that I called the cops to calm the situation down during a bad episode just made me cry. All he had to say was that he had already been there, and asked when it would stop.I thought I'd been holding things together reasonably well. I had an office job where no one knew what was up, though my work had suffered greatly. I kept clothes and food in my trunk, just in case I had to stay out for a bit because she had decided I was part of 'the conspiracy'."
"I had a gym on the way to work I could where I could shower or just have some down time. I did all of our housework and errands, because she couldn't work or do much of anything most of the time. Each time she cut herself she told the hospital it was an accident, and she always tried to go to a different one (we lived in a major metro, between hospitals)."
"The cop saw through it. Being seen like that and knowing that even that lifestyle was running out hurt. I'm now recovering from the divorce and enjoying the calm. I still sometimes panic for no reason, and I feel more comfortable with clothes and food stashed in the trunk, but I feel much healthier. I get more sleep. My blood pressure has normalized (for the most part). I don't cry at work anymore."
Scumbag
"I received a message that clearly wasn't meant for me. We just had our first date which went really well. Calling me cheap and a slimeball and how I'm on my last last chance to make things right on her coming birthday with lots of presents. I replied "hi this is X, we just met and had one date, was that message for someone else? She replied pretending to be her 12 year old sister. Then apparently her dad messaged me with how he's told off his younger daughter. I'm out, forget that crap 🤣."
Real Life Issues
Super Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy"When he didn't want to have sex because he was grossed out by my period that I had finished three days prior. Noped out of that one real quick."
Love Not Defined
"I told her I was going to leave her, and she said "so you're going to leave me—just like you left your brother?" My twin brother committed suicide in 2017, and she knew how much guilt I had over not being there for him. Such a manipulative, disgusting thing for any person to say. Especially someone who claims to "love" you. I moved out two days later."
I'm me!
"He wanted me to grow out my pit and leg hair and texted, called, and emailed me repeatedly about it. It seemed like a pretty silly thing and he just had a little fetish but after several days of this my sister said, "Why do you always attract the controlling freaks?" and I finally had a moment of clarity."
6 years in...
"Married for six years. Started out thinking she just struggled with depression and anxiety sometimes, but things kept escalating. I walked away when she started threatening to stab me in my sleep. We had already tried several couples therapists and individual therapists, but she refused to consider medication."
"I called her to meet up and try to find some closure, but she cut me off telling me I wasn't allowed to leave her and as punishment she was sleeping with two other guys. At that point I just ignored her number and filed for divorce. Hope she's doing well, but glad to not be afraid for my life!"
LOTR Love
"My brother came to visit me. After I spend whole day with my gf, it was time to see my brother because we did not see each other for a long time. We prepared some snacks and about to start LOTR because both of us love LOTR. She called me and started a long conversation on phone. I said my brother waits for me and she said that I cannot spend my time with anyone because it belongs to her. It was last talk between two of us."
- vtoken6
Get Up
"Followed me to a night out, got on his knees stopping traffic in the middle of a city centre street to declare his love. We had been on two dates. He also told me that same night he could see into the future and already knew he was going to die defending my honour while I was carrying our twins. Yeah... he was fun."
Be Positive
Awkward Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Told everybody she knew about any little disagreement. Anytime I could be perceived unreasonable it was everyone's business. But somehow the surprises, special dates, lending her cousin rent money, all of that wasn't brought up. Just negative stuff was public knowledge."
How is it crazy people always find a good heart to trample over, yet so many of us kind folk just sit here alone? I'll never understand it. But better to be alone, than living in fear and chaos. That is when boring is better.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.