
From a strictly utilitarian sense, food's job is to get nutrients and calories into your body so that you can convert them into energy and not die.
That's it. There's no contractual obligation that it has to be tasty - and sometimes it's just not.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the absolute worst food you've ever eaten?
... it's pretty safe to say these people won't be coming back for seconds ... except maybe the accidental garlic butter pancake person. Savory pancakes could totally work as long as you're expecting it.
Surprise, It's Savory!
My wife would say...
Pancakes that I accidentally cooked in garlic butter. She hated them.
I liked them.
Savoury pancakes are the norm where I grew up. But we have big thin pancakes (Europe) and I'm not sure cheese, mushrooms and bacon would translate to American pancakes.
That being said, when we do have sweet pancakes it's generally just sugar and lemon juice which wierded the hell out of some friends from Hong Kong.
The Bog Of Eternal Stench
Years ago Starbucks did a green tea latte. My Mom and I got one to try cause we like green tea.
It was toxic!
We were emitting fumes that should never come out of a human body! We were riding with the windows down in the middle of winter it was so bad!
When I got to a bathroom, when I was done, what I left behind looked like lawn mulching after being out in the rain for a week straight with a smell on par with what I imagine the bog of eternal stench smells like!
As a former Starbucks barista, I can confirm that the green tea latte is so yuck! And it's even worse when you realize that it's doused in so much sugar and STILL tastes like wet grass.
You'd have to REALLY like matcha to like that drink. And even then, it's not even good matcha at all.
Grease Holding Hands
A brand of frozen pizza. It was just grease molecules holding hands.
Yup. The brand I'm thinking of tasted just like grease. I didn't know anything could be that bad.
Pizza is one of the best foods ever. Even when it's bad, it should still be good, or at least edible. They managed to totally f*ck it up.
That pizza tastes like it's topped with failure and grease... so much grease.
Can those grease molecules hold my hand?
- qdust
Curry (?)
Am Indian. Had a curry at someone's house who was not Indian. Straight up did not use any spice but salt. Died on the inside. Ancestors physically manifested to voice disapproval.
Man - don't go to France. 'Curry' or extra-spicy 'picante/mexicaine' flavour is, at best, bland tomato with the merest hint of vinegar, and two molecules of mild chilli. I'm convinced the French are only comfortable with four flavours; buttery, very buttery, cheesey, garlicky (with cheesey and buttery undertones).
- heurrgh
How can it be called curry when it has no spices at all? Here I am laughing picturing diced chicken in basically the water it cooked in and being served as curry.
It Causes Chemical Burns?!
The infamous 삭힌 홍어. Sometimes, when the fermentation is overdone, you can actually get chemical burns in your mouth. But some folks absolutely love it, kinda like marmite.
Many years ago I was reading about non-lethal weapons and one of them was smells that would make people nauseous. And the article was saying they seem to work on most people except Koreans who culturally eat a lot of fermented food.
Not sure what it says about your culture when vomit-inducing smells are met with "mmm tasty!" Weird how flexible the human mind and body is all based on how we are raised. Although Koreans do have a high prevalence of stomach cancer so there are downsides.
- soline
Topped With What?
I attended a wedding of my cousin a few years back. They were part of this cult-like "Christian" sect. The food was not made by a catering company, instead the whole affair was organized by church members.
For dessert they had a mango icebox cake that barely had any cream and was dyed pink for some reason. It had been sitting out for hours under the sun. It was warm and smelled a little funky.
When I got closer I realized it stunk because it was topped with roasted garlic peanuts.
Since whoever made it used it as toppings, I would say either they ran out of/can't find the plain ones and used those instead; or just bought the wrong ingredient.
If I was them I would've just left it out altogether. The garlic taste and smell was overpowering.
We only ate it to be polite and because my siblings and I were daring each other to eat it. My brother managed to eat an entire slice, and yes he's fine. My sister spotted a small sliver of fried garlic in her slice.
It tasted just as bad as it sounds. I almost threw up after taking one bite.
Hot Dog Soup
Hot dog soup.
My dad was in a rehab/assisted living facility. They served it to them as a meal. It was definitely just leftover hotdogs from the day before that they were trying to use up. It was hot dogs, with chunks, but also with pureed hot dogs for the base.
He had both me and my sister taste it.
We were all super grossed out.
Roasted Eye
Goat eye.
I was an "honored guest" at a Bedouin camp and the chieftain honored me by letting me have one of the eyes of a roast goat as he ate the other eye. It truly is an incredible and rare honor ... but my stomach does somersaults just remembering it...
- Malruhn
I have eaten a pig eyeball from a pig roast. You just leave them in when you roast a whole animal so they're fully cooked, they're tougher than bad calamari on the outside and as soft as cream on the inside.
They don't taste terrible, they have the moisture content of 2 deep fried breaded mushrooms, and that fluid stays just as hot as it does in a breaded mushroom.
It didn't taste bad, it tasted like pork - the texture is something that's hard to get past.
As the guest of honour at a dinner in Hong Kong, I was served up both the 2" eyes of a very large, cooked, cod type fish with about 50 people watching me eat them.
Horrible, fishy, gelatinous balls of foulness!
The Dip Oil Incident
A piece of what would otherwise have been a tasty bit of beef, dipped in way too much numbing oil (think anbesol).
Okay, so. I went to my friend's family's house for Christmas a few years back. They are Chinese, I am not, and they were having hot pot.
My friend was really worried that I wouldn't like it, but I was super excited and was decently sure I'd love it.
Before we sat down to eat, he helped me make a dipping sauce. It was mostly sesame oil, with some soy sauce and a few other things. We mixed them, we sat down, and got ready to eat.
There were a bunch of different meats, and my friend also pointed out the spicy side and the non-spicy side of the hotpot. I decided to start with the beef, as it was most familiar, and the non-spicy broth.
Took a piece, put it in the hot pot, waited until it cooked. Dipped it in my oil dip, and ate it.
Immediately I knew something was wrong. I couldn't feel my mouth.
I was sure I was having an allergic reaction, despite never having had a food allergy to anything before. I started internally freaking out, and basically trying to figure out how I could get away without making a big scene, because it was a lot of people that I did not know and this was also a friend that I had only recently gotten close to.
Also, it's just gross.
Eating meat when you can't taste it or feel your mouth is awful, especially when you aren't expecting it, and think you're probably dying. I also think that the numbing oil has a quite bitter taste (or maybe that's what your taste buds shutting off tastes like?)
After maybe a minute, which felt like an hour, my friend turned to me and mentioned that there must be a lot of numbing oil in the spicy side of the hotpot.
Oh my gosh. Relief. I'm not dying.
His cousin then pointed out that she saw us putting numbing oil (Sichuan peppercorn oil - which is apparently a Chinese culinary thing, though it's supposed to be used sparingly) in our dipping oil rather than the sesame oil.
My friend mixed up the bottles and the cousin didn't tell us because my friend is kind of weird and cousin assumed we just liked it that way.
I had essentially coated a piece of beef in a mixture that was like 90% numbing oil.
Clean Your Pans
Last year I was on my high school's robotics team, and they were hosting a potluck type thing and one of the desserts was a big donut cake. So I think "dang, that looks delicious! I wonder why it's almost entirely untouched?" and I take a bite. What do I taste?
It tastes like onions.
Not kidding.
The person who baked it must've used the same pan they made some savory dish in and never cleaned it. Honestly just the shock of it all pushed it to the top of my disgusting foods list alone. I felt super rude but I ended up just throwing it in a garbage can.
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People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.
Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner
Positive emotions are high among people in the blossoming phase of relationships.
Everything seems more romanticized for people in love due to the amorous joy in their hearts–which also influences their desire to frequently get it on under the sheets–or any other daring location in the heat of the moment.
But for those who've declared "'til death do us part," devoted couples may find that they are not always on the same wavelength sexually compared to when they first met.
Curious to hear how people keep their passion alive, Redditor Rude_Phone6841 asked:
"Married people, how do you initiate sex with your partner?"
When verbally articulating isn't enough...
Let The Book Dictate When
"There is a book called 'How to Subtly Tell Your Partner You Want More Sex.' If you sleep on the right side of the bed, you can casually open it up and your spouse will see the giant printed title on the front. Sometimes, I’ll just get the book out and leave it on his side of the bed. Once he was messing with me and acting like he was oblivious to my not-so-subtle hints, so I threw the book at him. The book is effective and hilarious."
"ETA: Sadly, we haven’t found the book since we moved. Fortunately, we’ve started communicating with our words instead. Words are just as effective."
– Flaky_Finding_3902
Save The Date
"I send her an outlook calendar event and if she accepts, IT'S ON."
– Dawn_Piano
The Signal
"You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business."
– SEA___BEAR
These couples find that verbal cues are best.
Now's The Time
"Honestly when we have the time one of us usually bluntly says 'let's go have sex right f'king now before we can't' and we go do it. Lol"
– brie1305
Option A Or B
"I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. Some of the best sex we had was because I said 'after 2 year old goes down and if 2month decides to sleep do you want to meet in the basement' well she decided to sleep and damn that was good."
– Ahkmedjubar
End Of Day Reward
"We just ask each other tbh. We’ll bring it up earlier in the day so we build up the anticipation with each other throughout the day, flirt with each other, gas each other up. All that. Then when it’s finally time at the end of the day, we usually fall asleep cause we’re so tired."
"But the cycle continues the next day!"
– supermariobruhh
People continued offering their wisdom.
Afternoon Hanky Panky
"The trick is to initiate sex during the day. We are both too tired at the end. Plus hanging out all day after is somehow more rewarding."
"Same goes for dates. Have sex at the beginning the date, then go enjoy your time together without any pressure."
– drneeley
Kids In The Equation
"This literally happened today with my wife and me. We have two toddlers so we’re extra exhausted. Earlier today we had the sexy initiation of 'hey, we both showered today, want to have sex after the babies are asleep?' 'Sure.'"
"Then when the kids were asleep, and my wife and I were getting settled into bed, she asked if I still wanted to. I said if she wants to I’m down, but I’m pretty tired and would be fine without it. She said she was also tired and could do without it. So we kissed each other good night and she went to sleep. I’m just winding down on Reddit for a few minutes before I also fall asleep."
"I know this is boring. I didn’t write this to tell an exciting story. Just to share what married life is like for me and probably the large majority of married couples, especially parents of young kids."
– MolotovCollective
Shadow Puppet Technique
"Use my phones torch to shine a shadow of my member up against the bedroom wall."
"Kinda like a bat signal of sorts."
– SchoonerOclock
Mood Lighting
"Turn off the lights and switch on the red lamp beside the bed."
– SuvenPan
Reliable Visual
"Walk by him while taking my top off. He follows me wherever I go and it's been 30 years and counting."
– LisaBooHigh
Every couple is different, and usually establishing a strong communication bond makes everything else in the relationship–including sexy time–falls in line effortlessly.
I knew a couple who made a game out of foreplay and agreed that whoever got home first from getting off work at the same time got to choose the sexual position that night.
They may no longer be together, but I remember them recalling how that technique was fun for them at the beginning stage and it took the pressure off of establishing when they were going to have sex.
Don't take get too anxious about it. It's just sex, and it's fun.
There are a number of things people partake in spite of the known possible ramifications they have on their health and safety.
Up to and including smoking, bungee-jumping, recreational drug use, or simply bike riding without a helmet.
Indeed, even though they know that doing any or all of these things could possibly lead to their death, they do it anyway.
Sadly, even though many people go out of their way to avoid doing these things for that very reason, that still doesn't mean they keep themselves completely out of danger.
Sadly, there are a surprisingly large number of things that lead to an even more surprising number of deaths each year.
Frighteningly, these are things that the majority of the world's population does on an almost daily basis.
"What causes death more than people realize?"
When In Doubt, Call Your Doctor!
"Untreated infections."
"Your body will become septic, in which it essentially kills itself trying to kill off whatever infection one has."- cacarrizales
"Infections that are left untreated."- raptor-99
Tread Carefully. Seriously.
"Tripping."
"On average around 17k people a year in the US die from injuries incurred after tripping and falling."- EdithWhartonsFarts
When In Doubt, Don't Drive.
"Driving while sleepy."- latchkey_adult
The Handrail Is There For A Reason.
"Stairs."
"20 million severe injuries each year and at least 200,000 death from consequences of the fall."
"Both my grandparents died because of a fall."- OnTheGoodSideofLife
They Happen To The Best Of Us
"Fall accidents."
"Especially among the elderly, a fall can create a cascade of events that results in death, even if it seems minor at first."-AdmiralBofa
Never Rush Chewing
"Mozzarella sticks."
"Statistically the most choked on food."- SpecSanders
Never Skip A Check-Up
"High Blood Pressure."
"It sneaks up on you and you don't know about it or don't care but it's the underlying cause of so many deaths."- Fear51
Never Underestimate The Importance Of Self Care
"Stress."
"Your body can only handle so much of it and it’s labeled the 'silent killer' for that reason."
"With your high blood pressure and the 5 hours of sleep a night because of the stress, It will creep up on you sooner than you think."- DroppedDonut
Don't Forget To Floss!
"Untreated dental problems."
"A cavity left untreated can lead to heart attacks and strokes."- Lastalmark
Flu Season
"Influenza."
"Just regular old flu."
"Many people ignore it thinking it'll go away on its own."
"Globally the number per year is usually between 300k and 500k."
"In the US it can be anywhere from 12k to 50k per year."- PhreedomPhighter
Don't Feel Ashamed If You Need A Break
"Shoveling snow."
"I have two family friends pass from heart attacks associated to shoveling the snow."- JD054
There Are People Who Will Help You
"Alcoholism causing liver failure and it's on the rise in the USA."- Interesting_Drop8236
"Peruse your County ME’s records."
"The amount of people who die from alcohol is astounding."- hockenduke
Sometimes, It's Just Best To Mind Your Own Business
"Street fights."
"You watch some Hollywood blockbusters and some MMA fights and you think you can do it too."
"I've seen stories of a guy minding his own business and gets rocked on the side of his head. It disconnected his spine and he was dead before he hit the ground."
"There was another story maybe a year ago of a scuffle where a guy was stabbed in the neck and bled out to the point of being unable to stand within 10 seconds."
"Stop f*cking around, it's not worth your life."- Choiceofart
We never know when our number is up or how we'll end our days.
However, with a little bit of care and good judgment, we can at least likely avoid falling victim to all of the above.
When Americans visit a foreign country, they tend to notice immediate cultural differences from the minute they step off the plane.
Unique bathroom designs, how you might have to be more specific when ordering coffee in Australia, how many businesses in Spain tend to shut down for a few hours to take a siesta.
Needless to say, this goes both ways, as when people from all over the world visit the United States, they tend to be surprised and amazed by a number of things.
Ranging from the amusing, such as portion sizes and ineffective tea brewing (at least for the Brits) to the truly baffling (HEALTHCARE).
"Non-American people, what’s a thing that you don’t understand about America?"
You Mean, People DON'T File Their Own Taxes Elsewhere?!?!
"Does every worker have to file their own taxes or am I just confused?"- ThePencil67
"Why they make you calculate your own taxes, if they know what you owe."- redder2023
Flagrant Commercialism...
"So, why do you buy politicians' merchandise? "
"Shirts, caps, banners, stickers, etc."
"They're public servants, not rockstars."
"Also, usually the more boring they are, the better."- akashyy
Work/Life Balance
"Scottish person here but the work/always available for work culture."
"Minimal vacation time, minimal maternity/paternity leave and the fact you can pretty much just be let go."
"It makes me sad to think about it!"
"But I do love that you guys cram so much into your time off - you guys love a road trip!"- Frosty_Dragonfly_682
Definitely Something To Consider...
"What is up with Homeowner Associations?"
"Why would you pay to let a nosy neighbor dictate what you can and can not do on your own property?"
"I understand living in an apartment block and paying maintenance fees etc, but in a suburban home?"- Skoodledoo
There Are Some Good Observations
"The amount of National Parks!"
"My dream came true in 2017 to make an RV trip southwest off USA."
"Yosemite blew my mind away."- Independent-Ad9787
HAHAHA
"How you can say the word 'mirror' without the use of any vowels."
"Mrrrrrr."- Otto1968
I Ordered A Small!
"Why everything is just SO damn supersized."
"My first time in America I went to get ice coffee from Dunkin Donuts, I ordered a large and my friend is like, 'are you sure you want large'?"
"Yeah no biggie, in the UK a large is not overwhelming I feel so I was expecting the same kinda thing."
"Oh my god it was like a god damn bucket of coffee."
"I think maybe a small would have been equivalent to a UK large, lesson swiftly learnt."
Some People Are Lucky To Just Have One Roommate...
"How you have to share a room with some complete rando when you go to college."- ChoppingOnionsForYou
Some People Just Can't Stop Talking
"The culture of just talking to people, strangers you don't know and just up and start a conversation with them or join a conversation."
"I'm British, and we go through great lengths to not talk to people, let alone open up and pour our hearts out to a random person."- MrGlayden
In Other Words: Severs Deserve to Be Paid More!
"The tipping culture is so foreign to me, I would be so scared to make a mistake or not tipping enough if I ever go to America because it's not something which is common here in Denmark."- Cupsuu
The Commercials, Maybe?
"I’m American but I’ve worked with a lot of people who aren’t."
"The one thing they always wonder is why Americans are so obsessed with the NFL."
"They think it’s a boring sport."
"They explained 'you wait for 30 seconds, they hike the ball, you get about 5-10 seconds of action, then you wait another 30 seconds, another 5-10 seconds of action, then commercial break'."- yougotthesilver12
School Is No Place To Have Fun!
"My mom is from Moscow during the Soviet Era, and she is confused why there is no teacher-student hierarchy."
'She thinks it's weird when teachers participate in school plays or speak to students informally."
"She also DOES NOT GET pajama day."
"To her, it's just the weirdest thing in the world."
"In Russia, there is an important distinction between 'clothes for home' and 'clothes for outside'."
"They have a concept of 'home clothes', like your cozy or ugly clothes, that you are supposed to change into after school or work."
"At bedtime, you change out of your 'home clothes' into pajamas."
"As a result, pajamas, for both adults and children, are considered extra-extra private in Russia."
"My mom perceives pajama day as something extreme like wearing only undergarments to school."
"That's how private pajamas are considered to be in Russia!"- racheltolmach2022
A Debate Which Will Likely Never End
"MM/DD/YYYY"- SuvenPan
Living in America comes with a number of advantages and a number of detriments.
Speaking personally though, had I known I wouldn't have to file my own taxes in Australia, I would have expatriated long ago...