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People Who've Been Cheated On Explain Exactly How They Found Out

People Who've Been Cheated On Explain Exactly How They Found Out
Image by Hieu Van from Pixabay

Being cheated on by a romantic partner is a complete and total annihilation of all the trust a solid romance is built on.


Once cracked, that foundation can't be fixed. The truly tragic part of being cheated on is the moment of discovery, finding out that a person whom you thought you could rely on has proven to be the exact opposite. Maybe it's a lipstick stain on piece of clothing or a credit card charge from a time you don't remember going to that cute, little Italian place together. Whatever the reason, you know, and now you can never not know.

Reddit user, u/Johnnybrar, wanted to understand what it felt like to have your trust betrayed when they asked:

People who have been cheated on, how did you find out?

Turns out when you carry a device tracking your every movement, with a visual chain of photographic evidence detailing where you've been and what you do, cheating becomes that much stupider.

Self-Incriminating Evidence

"You know how Facebook chat bubbles open up on top of whatever app you're on? He sent me a screenshot of something funny between him and his cousin. In the background was a text message about a date he was going on with this girl."

smango19

A Cursed Digital Memento

"Went through my wife's phone to send myself a photo of our daughters. Found the photos she took in bed with the guy."

Dontevenhaveaname

A Good Samaritan

"I had suspicions about my wife for a while, but confirmation came in the form of a voicemail from the guy's wife..."

"Hi -- this message is for <QuizzicalDog>. It's **** calling. Just wanted to let you know that your wife has been having an affair with my husband ****. So... I just thought you should know. If you have any questions, I'm sure your wife would love to tell you all about it. Bye!"

QuizzicalDog

Betrayed By The D*ck Pick

"The girl texted me."

"I had my doubts, but no evidence. Not that I needed evidence to leave but - that's another story."

"She texted me on IG with screenshots of him chatting with her, and a very prominent pic of his penis against a very distinctive floor tile. No way to say "that's not my penis."

"So, busted."

just_play_one_on_tv

WHY WOULD YOU POST SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

"She left to go on a camping trip for a few weeks. A week and a half into her trip she posts a Snapchat from Florida of some other dude hugging her from behind in a hotel room mirror. Apparently during this camping trip she met some guy who "god had put in her path" (she wasn't religious) and that, after only knowing each other for a couple days, they were now dating and decided to go to Florida together. I had to wait an additional week for her to tell me this cause she wasn't answering her phone or texts. It's been about a year and as far as I know they're still dating. Still boggles my mind to this day."

revivethyne

Caught On Alexa

"Married a few years. He left myself and our newborn as he was struggling. Needed space didn't know what he wanted etc etc."

"Ten months later I'm adding a new Amazon echo to our family prime account and notice a device I don't recognise. Realise it's his at the place where he is staying."

"You can go through voice requests and play them back. Enter my gross (now ex) husband saying 'Alexa, play beautiful love songs' while in the background I can hear him f-cking a woman who turned out to be his work colleague."

"They'd been having an affair since at least just after our daughter was born but lots of clues say it started when I was pregnant."

"I've posted about this before but frequently jump between accounts because he likes to stalk me on Reddit. When I posted about it originally back when it happened it got picked up by a tabloid newspaper with the heading 'Amazon Slimeball' which is now what he is saved as in my contacts forever."

SnooLentils314

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Sometimes it's a simple message, someone reaching out to you, that breaks the awful news. It's surprising what a seconds long conversation can do to your entire life.

Throwing It All Away

"I found a sexually-explicit love letter that was not from me. We had been married for 15 years :("

Main_Act_2361

Give Credit To The Parents On This One

"My parents told me. They overheard him on the phone with another woman."

SundayMorningTrisha

"At least you didn't have to announce it to your parents, I guess..."

lurker492

A Heart Wrenching Turn

"My wife cheated and had a 2 year long affair. I found out when the other mans wife texted me and told me everything. I confronted my wife and she lied through her teeth until I hit her with some facts of the matter that she couldn't deny. We were hs sweethearts that were together for 18 years and married 11 with two young kids, 3 & 5. The absolute worst moment of my life and I've been in a deep depression since finding out."

troyreddit

Thanks For Being A Good Buddy?

"Like 4 years later my friend told me straight up "hey she didn't break up with you because she was moving..." She went straight to him. After she broke up I never heard from her since and it turns out their relationship only lasted a few months, and she got together with him while she was also with me. F-cked thing is he thought that she already broke up with me by the time they started dating"

throwawaytomyass

No matter how you slice it, it's never easy to accept someone is cheating on you.

In Front Of The House? In Front Of The Baby?

"I saw them with my own two eyes, kissing outside our kitchen Window. He was coming home late from a work trip and our baby had woken up so I was standing in the kitchen rocking her when I saw him pull up with his colleague in the car. They got out and embraced and kissed right in front of me, not knowing I was watching. We'd been together 6 years, bought a house together, had a baby - I was still on maternity leave."

mamabooms

Playing Detective By Yourself

"Here's my long one:"

"He went out with some friends and never came home that night. I woke up at 4am to find him not home. I tried to call him but his phone went straight to vm. I called his buddy he said he left hours ago. I thought something horrible happened. So I called hospitals and police stations thinking the worst. After 4 hours I called his parents who lived in NC to let them know he was missing. Decided to drive around to the bars he frequented. Saw my friend's car was left at the bar. Gut feeling told me to drive by her house she was a bartender at said bar. Found his car in her driveway. Banged on door found him and her together. Called his parents let them know he wasn't dead, just cheating on me."

"Sh-tty side note: my "friend" had been bragging to me that some guy was showing up at the bar and buying her flowers and texting her all kinds of cute sh-t. Well turns out it was my boyfriend of 5 years the whole time."

Kes0422

Leaving The...Er..."Evidence" Behind

"Found an empty condom wrapper hastily thrown away but it had landed NEXT TO the garbage can in our garage instead of inside the garbage can. I've had an IUD for over 10 years - condoms weren't on our shopping list. I could have written a damn book with everything I found out later."

MRR_BX_2_TX

Being Open And Honest

"His friend was kind enough to tell me. It ruined their relationship, but it was very meaningful to me. I appreciated someone doing me the kindness of letting me know."

Lulu_42

​What A Coincidence!

"We broke up, I made a new friend and she asked if I had a boyfriend and I told her we had just ended the relationship, but I also told her his name to which she replied "I had a boyfriend with that name too not too long ago!" (It wasn't a common name in our area) so I laughed and I showed her a picture and she did the same and we stopped laughing. It was the same guy, we both dated him for like 4 months and 2 of those at the same time."

2_Steps_From_hell_

Yeesh...

"We were out on a date when she got a phone call, her fiancé had just been in a terrible motorcycle accident and died. We had been dating for about eight months at that point, we never talked again."

GenericSupervillain3

"How exactly did she explain that?"

"Hey, there's this guy I kinda know..."

Sweatsock_Pimp

"She was obviously getting horrible news on the phone, she looked destroyed. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me <name> had died. I couldn't place the name, and when I asked who that was, she told me."

GenericSupervillain3

Just because these stories ended in disaster doesn't mean you should close off your heart to the world. Keep it ajar, keep it willing to trust, but also be ready to completely rescind that trust if someone doesn't do the work to keep it.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

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When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.

Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.

However, this is not always true.

Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:

"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"

Bad Breath

""First of all, brush your teeth...""

– iSniffMyPooper

"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."

– ClumsyGhostObserver

"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."

– Floptopus

"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"

– Average_Aloe

"About the same in his case, really."

– Floptopus

Yikes! That Face!

""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""

"– Groucho Marx"

– chumloadio

""You have the face for a career in radio.""

– badmother

""...and a voice for print.""

– Byanl

If Only We Never Met

"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."

– Swivel_D

"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""

– Non_Music_Prodigy

Crime Against Humanity

"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"

– pantsoncrooked

"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."

– RBpositive

Winston Churchill

"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"

"-Winston Churchill"

– Triton289

"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"

– hdroadking

"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"

"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"

"May be slightly different wording."

– No-comment-at-all

"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."

– Rare_Parsnip905

Wrong!

""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""

– shaidyn

""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""

– a_in_hd

Tough Love

"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"

– OhSassafrass

"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."

– InverstNoob

What I Like About You

"“Do you know what I like about you?”"

"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"

– Axeman517

"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."

– TruCelt

"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."

– Ketcunt

""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""

– OnionMiasma

Rumor Has It

""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""

"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."

– NinjatheClick

Intelligence Called Out

"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."

– rrashad21

"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."

– MembraneintheInzane

Oooh!

"You are impossible to underestimate."

"You never fail to meet my expectations."

– Zyhre

Hilarious

"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."

– Edward_the_Dog

"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."

– -Envixity

I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!

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Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.